Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these characters are pure fantasy!


Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)


Cliff hanger I know - there will be more soon so don’t worry!

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Zoro looked down at the spreading pool of blood at his feet and sighed. This wasn’t exactly where he had imagined he would be right now… he had pictured more ass and less blood.


A lot less blood.


After their tousle in the kitchen he’d decided to play ‘who-can-hold-out-longer’ with Sanji. Aside from his frequent moments of drooling as he remembered the taste of the blonde hot on his lips it had been going well so far. Ok, it was only going ‘well’ if ‘well’ meant that neither of them had given in yet and conceded defeat. Zoro had a different idea of going ‘well’. One that involved a lot less silly mind games and a lot more sex… but hey, all of this mucking around seemed to be getting the cook really hot… and it wasn’t like either of them had much time to think about what they were missing anyway.


In the few days since he had used every ounce of his will power to stop himself from ripping off Sanji’s pants and just fucking him in the dirty dish water a lot had happened. They had been raided by pirates (that was pretty funny actually, Luffy had gone over to their ship to see if they had any meat and ripped the entire thing apart stem to stern before anyone else had even got over there), they’d been sent off course by a storm, attacked by a sea king, and then they got lost.


Nami had decided that she needed a nap and Zoro had taken the helm. He’d told her he didn’t want to but the bitch insisted. That’d learn her. He knew it was a bad idea but if they hadn’t figured out that he had no sense of direction by now then that wasn’t his problem.


All of the distractions were probably a good thing. His whole head was full of nothing but Sanji’s writhing naked body. His soft blonde hair, his firm pale skin, his tender pink lips… If he hadn’t been able to fight non-stop he might have actually been forced to use the word again. No way was that happening.


Not saying please to that apron wearing sissy.


No way.


He briefly considered the spreading pool of blood. He didn't worry. It wasn't like he was going to die here. He was Roronoa Zoro, destined to be the world’s greatest swordsman… He just dreaded what that smarmy sexy cook was going to say when he saw him like this - strung up and tied to a pole.


Would he ever want to sleep with him again? It was part of their desire for each other surely… Although he had no idea what was happening in that pretty blonde head at the best of times, the power that Zoro saw in Sanji attracted him terribly... and here he was as helpless as a child. Oh the humiliation. The shitty cook would never want to touch him ever again. He’d look at him and see a lame fuck-up who couldn’t even defend the ship from what, fifty marines? It was pathetic.


He was pathetic.


Zoro snorted and told himself he didn’t care what that shitty cook thought. Then to distract himself he took another look at the spreading blood pool. It was probably a good idea to have a nap now and wait for someone to come and get him. If only he knew where he was…


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They had finally docked after too long on the high seas and the crew of the Going Merry had left him to guard the ship. Sanji wanted ingredients, Nami wanted clothes, Robin wanted books, Usopp wanted tools for weapon making, Chopper wanted medicine, and Luffy just went to make trouble.


He couldn't care less about the attractions of the island (which were non-existent until Sanji stepped down onto the pier as far as Zoro was concerned). He just wanted to rest up and enjoy the sun. After a while he had started hoping that Luffy did make some trouble. After all of the action over the last few days to distract him a day on the ship with nothing to do but think about Sanji’s tight ass wasn’t looking as good as he’d imagined. He wanted action.


Famous last words.


He had leaned up against the mast and fallen into that wonderful relaxing state half way between sleep and meditation. When he woke up, there was a huge shadow over him. Turns out a marine ship had docked right next to them while he'd been asleep. Worse luck, half of them had come on board to take a look. Why didn't that stupid sea witch ever take them to the far side of the island to dock?!


He leapt to his feet to defend the ship only to be confronted by that damned woman. The woman who looked so much like the girl he knew many years ago. He had stood and stared at her dumbfounded, trying to think of a way that he could get past her without hurting her (realising all too late that he was still only slowly getting used to the concept of non-fatal blows) when someone had shot him in the back. Good move really. At least they took him seriously now. But how was he going to be the greatest if he froze up every time he saw that face...


The same face that was now staring at him with hard eyes and a cold glint of anger. He could feel her stare burning into him as she asked him for the umpteenth time where the rest of his crew were. He kept his eyes closed and his body relaxed. Just need a bit of a sleep and then maybe she'll loose her voice from screaming and go away and then he could kill all of these idiots and get back to the ship before Sanji saw him like this. Weak and fucking helpless.


Not that he cared what the shitty cook thought. Because he didn’t.


He was just starting to drift off when he felt a gentle tug at the ropes binding his arms. He opened one eye just a crack and saw an arm reaching out of the wood behind his head. Robin-chan. Great! Maybe if he was lucky she’d be on her own. He could take out the lackeys and she could deal with that girl with Kuina’s face…


A smooth deep voice called out across the room “You lost marimo?”


Damnit. Why did it have to be him? Zoro kept his eyes closed and pretended that he was unconscious. Anything to avoid the smug look on Sanji’s face. The look that said ‘what the hell did I see in you?!’ He could hear Chopper jumping up and down babbling something about getting him down quickly and back to the ship for treatment before he bled to death. As if that would happen! He was more likely to die of humiliation.


“Hey marimo!” the voice was closer this time and accompanied by a lot of loud thumps “Pay attention you lazy bum, I got your swords!” At least Sanji didn’t think he was going to die. Sanji knew he’d be fine once he got back into the action. Zoro wanted him even more.


He opened his eyes just as he felt the last knot come undone. His haramaki was hurtling through the air - Zoro didn’t have time to dodge and it made a squelching noise when it hit him square in the exit wound. Shitty cook! That almost hurt! He dropped to the ground and put Wadou between his teeth. Robin was standing by the door smiling as hands flew out and throttled the sailors all around her. The blonde was in the middle of some kind of whirling handstand tornado thing. He just looked like a giant blur of legs and ass.


Nice angle actually...


No more of that for you though, shithead.


A hand flew out and punched Zoro in the face. While he had been staring at Sanji a few marines had come up behind him. Zoro turned 360 degrees and stood up while drawing his other blades. Marines fell away from him in a wave of blood.


He could see Chopper wading through the marines pouring sweat from fear and worry. “Zoroooo!!!!!” he called out.


“Yeah, yeah” he said smiling at the reindeer ploughing towards him “I’m fine, ok.”


“Come on! Come on!” Luffy ran into the room screaming “I’m leaving!”


Zoro looked at him with not a little confusion. What did he mean he’s leaving? The fun only just started and he needed a distraction big time! Zoro looked at his Captain. His rubbery arms shot back out the door towards the ship - he guessed. They were stretched to breaking point.


Not again.


Luffy ran straight past him and lined himself up with the rest of his nakama. Zoro sighed and levelled his blades to take out the last few marines he could reach before Luffy’s cry of “Gomu Gomu no…!!!” informed him that it was time to leave.


He just had enough time to sheath his katanas before being knocked off his feet and launched into the air …then he was pounded along with Chopper, Robin, and Sanji into the deck of the Going Merry.


“My hat! My hat! Robin MY HAT!!!” Luffy cried as his treasure floated on the breeze down towards the water. An army of hands reached out from the side of the ship and passed the hat back up onto the deck. Luffy snatched it and slammed it back onto his head.


Zoro felt a tugging at his shirt and looked down, Chopper was already trying to take off his shirt and examine the bullet wound. It was only a scratch, it had gone through but only out near his hip. Nothing too important. He was just going to open up his mouth to say as much when Chopper jumped up.


“Sanji! Don’t let Zoro move! I’m going to get my suture kit!” the tiny furry creature scuttled off at break neck speed. Zoro sighed in defeat, leaned back and closed his eyes. He could feel Sanji’s eyes on him. What was he thinking? Stupid weak marimo… never going to have sex with him again.


Damn it.


He felt Sanji sit down beside him and lean in close, his soft blonde hair just brushed across Zoro’s cheek making his breath catch, and a little chill run all the way from his cheek to his groin. Don’t think about how he tasted, don’t think about the sexy sounds he made…


“I would have just left you tied up…” his sultry voice made Zoro want to do about a thousand things that a person bleeding heavily should not do. And it made him want to do them all. Right. Now. “…but I love the romance of a damsel in distress”


Zoro twisted on the deck to smack the cook right in the face but was grabbed by Chopper and pressed into the boards, forcing him to sit still. “Sanji! Don’t rile him up, he’s bleeding very heavily!” Chopper pulled up his shirt and began sponging his wound with antiseptic. Sanji stood up to go.


Zoro winced from the sting of the antiseptic and looked up at Sanji over Chopper’s bobbing head. The shitty cook had blood on his fingers and he was licking them clean one by one…


Bastard.


What the hell are you trying to do to me?


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“Open your mouth for the ship!” Sanji zoomed the spoon of soup through the air and tried to get it into the swordsman’s mouth.


“Fuck off” said Zoro. “I’m not in the fucking mood.” The swordsman sat up in Chopper’s bed for treating patients. A large bandage adorned his otherwise bare middle. He was meant to be asleep but for once the lazy bastard didn’t want to nap.


Chopper had said that he had to have three full days bed rest before he could start training again. He was not happy. Sanji stifled a laugh and went in for another spoon of soup.


“Fuck OFF!” said Zoro, smacking the spoon out of the air and scowling something fierce. Sanji knew he shouldn’t tease but having a captive audience like this was just too good a chance to pass up. How often would he be able to spoon feed Zoro without having his head neatly and permanently separated from his body?


The swordsman was starting to turn a funny shade of purple; the cook figured it was time for a different tactic. There was more than one way to tease Zoro…


“So how do you like your new room?” Sanji asked, leaning back on his chair and lighting a cigarette.


“Fuck off.”


“Nice view, eh?”


“Fuck off.”


Sanji stifled another laugh. Maybe he had pushed it a little far but he figured it had been worth it. Boy was Zoro pissed now though.


“Nice and private, isn’t it?” He said airily, gazing about the cabin as if he was seeing it for the first time. Zoro looked at him. He looked like he wanted to slice him in half, but at least he looked at him. They hadn’t made eye contact the entire time that Sanji had been in the room. He’d come to give Zoro some miso soup for lunch and found the swordsman staring out the window. He had been moping.


Big time.


Sanji had put up with the moody marimo for ages before he’d given up and gone for the tease. He’d tried talking about what a great fight it was, the sparring they were going to do when Zoro was better… everything. Stupid pouty marimo just stared out the window.


Probably couldn’t forgive himself for being captured. That had been a bit weird, it didn’t seem like there had been enough marines for Zoro to even crack a sweat… but Sanji knew that if Zoro wanted to talk, he’d talk.


And he wasn’t talking.


So Sanji had moved on to safer territory. It was a bit bizarre that making Zoro feel helpless was going to help him get over how helpless he felt but that was the kind of perverse bastard Zoro was. Sanji knew he just had to get him angry enough that he didn’t care that he was sad.


And then horny enough that he didn’t care that he was angry…


“So private that I could almost guarantee that no-one else is going to come in here for at least an hour….” Probably longer. Before he had come to see Zoro he had told the others that the swordsman was asleep when he went to give him lunch and that he would be doing a stock take in the hold all afternoon. No one should come looking for them for hours.


Zoro glared at him. He was still pissed but Sanji swore he could see the corner of his mouth twitch just a little with a suppressed smile… Sanji stood up.


“I’ve just been so stiff… do you mind if I do some stretches?” he didn’t wait for the reply. Instead he just slid slowly into splits. “Mmmm that feels better.” He took a drag on his smoke and looked at Zoro. He was looking, but he was still scowling. Sanji put his hands down in front of him and then leaned forward and pushed off the floor into a handstand, slowly drawing his legs together.


“I feel like I haven’t had a good stretch for days…” he said before lowering himself back down into a sitting position “…it’s always good to warm up before a work out though, don’t want to pull a hamstring…”


Zoro was still staring at him and he was starting to prattle. He was meant to be the one in charge! How come whenever Zoro levelled those simmering green eyes at him he lost all his bravado? He was starting to feel like an idiot, all his unsubtle come ons were working about as well as they did on Nami. Maybe he’d played with Zoro for so long that he wasn’t interested anymore. Shit.


He got up off the floor and sat back down in the chair. He put his cigarette out and lit another. Shit. Zoro was staring out the window again. He was probably remembering his shitty childhood or something equally awful. Shit.


I come in here to distract the guy and I end up just making him even more miserable. Typical. As if talking would help Zoro anyway. That’s probably why I can never get a girlfriend, I’m shit with all this deep and meaningful stuff… Better go before I make it any worse….


Sanji gathered up the shattered remains of his ego and stood up to leave.


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Zoro had been watching the emotions flicker over the cook’s face as he sat, silent, in a cloud of tobacco smoke. At first he didn’t want to see anyone but now the shitty cook had pissed him off. He could have come to offer some comfort, but no! Had to get with the abuse and start spoon feeding him his dinner.


Of all the patronising shit.


And now the bastard was going to leave. Zoro had wanted him so badly and now they had a room to themselves (which Sanji had even pointed out!) he was just going to bugger off. What was he thinking? It was like he’d come here just to wave his ass under Zoro’s nose and show him what he couldn’t have anymore. But he didn’t even look like his normal cocky self. Zoro couldn’t figure it out. Damn cook was as moody as a woman and twice as shirty.


Well I’ve got nothing to fucking lose at least, the bastard’s going to hate me anyway.


“What about dessert?” Zoro asked the retreating figure.


Sanji stopped and turned around slowly. “What do you mean dessert?” all the implications of the word ringing in his ears.


“I mean dessert shitty cook. You come to tend a dying man and all you bought was that shitty soup?” Zoro suppressed a smile. At least if he was angry then he wouldn’t leave.


Not that he minded if he left. He didn’t.


Sanji looked at him, eyes narrowed. “If you think that my soup’s so shitty then you won’t want dessert, will you moss head?” he smirked just a little.


That’s my shitty cook.


“I guess that depends what it is….” Said Zoro, slowly pulling the covers down.


“Well I didn’t bring dessert for you anyway… I bought it for me”


“So do I get to spoon feed it to you then?” Zoro asked, swinging his legs out from under the covers. His eyes travelled slowly up Sanji’s perfectly toned slender body.


“No way would I let someone do something humiliating like that to me!” scoffed Sanji, pulling his little bottle of dark chocolate and candied orange sauce from his shirt pocket. He had prepared it before he had lost his confidence and decided to skulk off. The look on Zoro’s face was making him feel like he owned the place. Welcome back Mr. Prince! “Anyway…. We don’t need a spoon. I think you’ve got the utensils covered.” Sanji licked his lips slowly and gestured with his smoke to the last piece of sheet which was clinging to Zoro’s crotch. Zoro’s rapidly expanding crotch…


Zoro looked down, slowly comprehending what the cook had said. He turned his face back up at the cook giving Sanji that hopelessly sexy ‘tell-me-what-to-do’ look. Useless marimo.


“Just lie back and enjoy it, invalid.” Zoro didn’t even bat an eyelid at the last insult, he just tucked his legs back into bed and leaned back letting the sheet just cover him. Sanji wondered if this was the same man that used to scream at him for asking him to pass the salt.


Sanji slowly undid the lid on the bottle and poured some sauce into his cupped hand to warm it.


Zoro looked up at him through half-closed eyes. If this was what happened when he got injured he would have to let it happen more often…. He watched the cook pouring a delicious smelling liquid into his hands. He had no idea what it was but he thought he could figure out what it was for. Oh yes. His body ached for the blonde, it literally ached with desire to feel those soft pink lips, to taste his sweet skin again…


Sanji licked his lips and stared at Zoro’s hard brown body.


“So I get to touch you this time?” Sanji laughed. Partly to rib Zoro and partly to cover his own embarrassment. It was all a bit different when he wasn’t drunk and already horny as. Looking at Zoro was helping that though, as the final nerves left him he could feel the heat rising in the pit of his stomach.


“You can do more than touch me….” Zoro stretched back and ran his fingers lightly down his chest until they hit the bulky bandage.


Sanji watched the heavy scared fingers trail down the perfectly defined pectoral muscles and lost his inhibitions. He walked over to the bed and knelt down pouring chocolate sauce onto Zoro’s chest.


“I thought that was for…” Zoro looked a bit disappointed.


Sanji smiled down at him and then leaned in to kiss him deeply. They kissed gently at first and then with more desperation. Sanji felt his legs turn to jelly and his pants were suddenly way too tight. He broke away from the kiss and reminded himself that he was going to win this. He was not going to just rip off his clothes and impale himself on Zoro’s cock.


Not yet anyway.


“Just wait a minute you greedy pig” he said still nipping at Zoro’s lips and feeling the hard stubble against his soft skin. Zoro mumbled something but Sanji couldn’t hear him. He could smell the hot warmth of Zoro’s body. The musk of his pheromones was overpowering…


He was only just starting to admit to himself how desperate he had been to taste Zoro’s flesh. To bury his face in the swordsman’s hot skin and just kiss him from head to toe. To feel the swordsman’s lips on his, on his body, on his cock… To have the rough arms around him, the hard body inside him.


He let his lips trail down over Zoro’s jaw and kissed his neck as he leant over the bed. Zoro swept his arm out from under the covers and squeezed Sanji’s ass, hard. Sanji responded by licking the chocolate from Zoro’s closest nipple and then biting it. Zoro drew a sharp breath. He tasted just as good as Sanji knew he would. He would never drink black coffee without getting a hard on ever again….


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