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Moon and Stars	By : Monddame Category: Sailor Moon > General Views: 5134 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon in any way shape or form. I am not given money or any other compensation (not even hugs) for my writing. All I get is the satisfaction of knowing that it's out there somewhere for others to read.

Chapter List
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Sorry about the formatting. I'm still figuring this stuff out.
Also, just a reminder, Andrew is the English dub name for Motoki Furuhata.

  At first, Ami was skeptical for Minako�s plan.  How was a slumber party going to help Usagi?  And she was right, Ami was not thrilled at the idea of a slumber party on a weekday, but she had meant what she said.  And the more she thought about it, the more it seemed that Minako was right.  A slumber party would serve a dual purpose: get Usagi�s mind off of whatever was bothering her for awhile, and allow the four-against-one power of persuasion she knew they would most likely need to get Usagi to confess what was wrong.  Minako had called back before Ami could get a hold of Rei to tell her that they would be meeting at Makoto�s at eight.  Ami lived with her mother, Rei had to stay at the temple with her grandfather (as per their agreement) and Mina still lived with her parents, though she was looking for a place that she and Usagi might share, so she could keep a better eye on the melancholy girl.

After arranging for a coworker to take her shift at Bleu that night, Makoto called Usagi, hoping she would sound convincingly innocent to her occasionally suspicious friend. Usagi had decreed, only a few months after Mamoru�s death that she was no longer allowing �pity parties� as she had dubbed their overnight vigils. Makoto couldn�t blame her really. They weren�t really parties so much as interventions to try and keep Usagi from doing something rash in her grief. They had hardly been fun.
�Hello?�
�Usagi! Guess what?! I got the night off from work tonight, and you know, there�s a horror movie marathon on TV tonight. Why don�t you come over and I�ll cook you dinner and we can stay up and watch it together?� Makoto silently prayed her friend would forgive her for leaving out the part about the other girls being there.
�I don�t know Makoto. I�m really tired. I haven�t�been sleeping well.�
�Oh, please Usagi. We haven�t hung out together for weeks.�
�We had lunch the day before yesterday, Makoto.�
�Oh, you know what I mean. That doesn�t count. Please come! I�ll pick you up at your apartment at six, okay?� Makoto paused for just the briefest of moments before continuing. �I�ll see you later!�
Usagi stared at the phone. She had planned on falling asleep to the horror movie marathon in her own apartment, and had even contemplated calling Makoto to invite her over: horror movies were their shared guilty pleasure. But Makoto was never so insistent or eager, that was more like Minako. She was the least pushy of her friends, besides Michiru anyway. She reflected on the call, wondering what was going on.
Returning to her work, Usagi groaned. It was only just after two. Nearly three hours of the work day still remained. She didn�t mind her job so much. It wasn�t a career really, like those her friends were pursuing, but it was a steady income at least. And it was nearly mindless. That was the best part. She sat at her little desk, typing, directing calls: nothing challenging or requiring a great deal of thought. Her lack of complete focus was hardly detectable, and only a drawer of mostly filled sketchbooks and notebooks evidenced her distracted state of mind.
Mercifully, the day finally ended, and Usagi trudged her way to the bus stop, wishing she could simply will herself home. Slumping onto the cramped, sagging sofa in her small, dim apartment, Usagi vacillated back and forth about calling to cancel with Makoto. But the other girl was right; it had been a while since she had spent more than the forty or fifty minutes her hour lunch break allowed with her friend. So when Makoto knocked on her door a few minutes before six, Usagi and her little overnight bag were ready and waiting.
Delicious smells wafted through the hallway outside of Makoto�s apartment as she unlocked the door and waved the frail looking blonde inside. She had made some of Usagi�s favorites, hoping to resurrect the girl�s famous appetite, which the scouts hadn�t seen in full force for far too long. But the blonde just picked at her food, eating a few bites and shoving the rest around on her plate.
�Tell me what�s wrong, princess.� Usagi looked up from the cold food in surprise. Makoto almost never called her princess. Her friend�s keen emerald eyes were filled with pain and compassion. �Let me help you.� Usagi dropped her own eyes, quickly filling with tears, back to her plate.
�There�s nothing you can do.� She shook her head, knowing her admission of pain would only fuel more questions. Plastering a wide smile on her face and blinking back tears, she looked back at the statuesque brunette. �I�m fine.�
I�m fine. Those words were a death sentence to any insightful dialogue with Usagi without the backup of the other scouts. Makoto sighed and moved onto the other goal of the evening. Soon she and Usagi were laughing and joking as they washed dishes together before settling down in front of the TV.
For her part, Usagi had vowed to do a better job of masking her sadness from her friends after her conversation with Ami. It wasn�t fair to let them worry about her. They had their own lives to lead.
Just after eight, there was a loud, repeated knocking on the door. Makoto rose to answer it, knowing it was the other scouts. When she reached the door, she opened it halfway and whispered out to the girls.
�Start light. She�s not ready.� Opening the door the rest of the way she raised her voice. �Hi girls! What are you all doing here? Come in! Usagi and I are watching a movie on TV.�
Minako and Ami walked into the living room, while Rei stole into the kitchen, putting the ice cream she�d brought in the freezer and the �in case of emergencies� supplies in the fridge.
�Rei and I ran into Minako as we were walking downtown to get a bite to eat. We stopped by Bleu, but they said you had the night off so we thought we�d stop by to say hello since we were nearby.� Ami ruined the sincerity of her delivery by glancing nervously at Usagi.
So that�s what this is about, Usagi thought, catching Ami�s worried look, her earlier suspicious about Makoto�s phone call confirmed.
�Thank you! That�s great! It�s such good luck that Usagi is here too. When was the last time all five of us hung out together?�
�Yeah, we used to see each other every day.� Rei replied. �I really miss you guys coming to the temple for meetings. Now I have to deal with grandpa more often.� She rolled her eyes, smiling.
Makoto had returned to the couch and Minako bounded over, shoving herself between the brunette and the other blonde, clasping her arm and leaning her own blonde head on the other�s shoulder.
�Are we watching a romance?� She sighed and Usagi couldn�t help but giggle as both Minako and Ami gasped at the gory scene on the TV.
�Not exactly.�
The other girls sat down and they talked and joked, mocking the cheesier portions of the movie and laughing whenever Ami screamed and nearly jumped out of her chair. Makoto made popcorn and brought out sodas for everyone and Usagi began to hope this was just a �cheer Usagi up� party and not a reconnaissance mission.
�Hey, meatball head, quit hogging all the popcorn.� Rei threw a pillow at her, nearly knocking her soda over.
�You can�t call me that anymore, Raven.� Using her pun-style nickname for Rei, Usagi pointed to her hair, which now was nearly identical to Minako�s. She�d cut off over two and a half feet until it only reached her lower back, and her signature bubble-tail hairstyle was abandoned in favor of simply letting it fall straight down behind her. �I haven�t worn meatballs in my hair for a long time.�
The underlying tension between the girls broke through to the surface at that reminder of how Usagi had changed. Ami�s apprehension ran unchecked on her face. Makoto and Rei looked sad. Usagi felt Minako�s hand brush against her hair, her face impassive.
�Why?�
Just one word: that�s all it took. Usagi�s thoughts began spiraling. Wearing her hair like that had always reminded her of Mamoru: her beloved Mamo-chan. She shook her head, trying unsuccessfully to free herself from the downward swirl. Mamo-chan was gone, and she was alone. She couldn�t be his �odango� anymore. And yet, another man had called her that, a long time ago. But she couldn�t be his �odango� either. She shouldn�t want to be his. She couldn�t stop the tears from falling altogether, but she had enough strength to keep her desperate sobbing locked inside her chest. The room was silent as the noiseless drops streaked down her face.
Minako pulled the girl who could have passed for her twin to her chest, rocking her gently back and forth. The other girls quietly moved into action. Makoto brought the dishes to the kitchen, and then went into her bedroom, bringing out armfuls of pillows, depositing them on the floor near the couch. Rei and Ami went into the kitchen. Ami scooped ice cream into bowls and Rei brought out the emergency supplies. She mixed and poured each girl�s favorite drink: a Cosmo for Minako and Usagi, red wine for her and Ami, and a White Russian for Makoto. Usagi would not drink alone, and in dire circumstances the extra fortitude was needed to sustain her through her tearful confessions to her friends, though they hadn�t had an �emergency� in a long time.
When they were all settled again, the three other scouts on the floor surrounding the blondes, and Usagi had wiped the tears from her face they began. Each girl had her own tactic which they employed in turn to try and persuade Usagi to let them help her. This time, analytical Amy began.
�Usagi, you were so sad today at lunch. I haven�t seen you that way for so long. I was beginning to think that you might actually be a little bit happy. I am so worried about you. It isn�t healthy for you to try and carry this burden alone. Whatever it is, I�m sure we can help you.� Looking at her hands, the blonde shook her head.
�But it�s my burden to bear.� Next it was Makoto�s turn to try.
�But princess, we are your senshi, your guardians. When you hurt, we hurt. We would all walk through fire for you. Well, Rei can do that anyway, but you know what I mean.� It was rare that Makoto�s cheerful jesting could not elicit at least a slight smile from her friend, but Usagi kept her eyes on her fingers, her face a mask of ice. Minako spoke.
�Usagi,� she put her hands on either side of her twin�s face forcing their blue eyes to meet. �don�t do this. Don�t shut us out. Even if we can�t help you, if there is nothing we can do, don�t push us away from you. Please. We love you Usagi.� Her ice mask wavered; her forehead creasing in pain. She was hurting her friends, and she hated it. Minako could always make her talk with that card. But, Usagi knew that the worry they were feeling now was only a shadow of what it could be if she told them the truth. She closed her eyes and shook her head again.
�Usagi Tsukino!� Usagi could feel Rei standing over her. �How dare you?� Her eyes flew open, as she looked at her friend in shock. The other girls looked at each other with apprehension. It rarely came to Rei having to use her style of persuasion. Her volatile temper produced mixed results and Usagi did not always respond positively to �tough love�.
�Wh-what?�
�I said, how dare you?� Rei folded her slender arms over her chest. �You promised Mamoru you would be happy. You promised Usagi. And you�re not even trying. What do you think he would say if he could see you now? If he knew you didn�t love him enough to keep your promise?�
Usagi bit her lip, trying to keep her crying in check. She didn�t want to think about what Mamo-chan would say if he knew what she was struggling with. Ami piped back in.
�How can you ever possibly be happy if you keep all your problems locked up inside?�
�We want you to be happy, too.� Minako stroked her hair.
�Let us help you.� Makoto gripped one of Usagi�s hands.
�I thought we�d gotten rid of the crybaby after Galaxia. Where�s the strong, brave Usagi that I know? She wouldn�t be afraid of a stupid thing like telling her friends what�s bothering her.�
Rei was right. They were all right. She was afraid. Afraid of what she was feeling. Afraid that sorting it all out would only lead to more heartache. Afraid of what her friend�s would think of her for being so inconstant. It was obvious she couldn�t hide her pain from them, not this time. And by pretending, she had only hurt them worse, made them worry more. They had a right to know, not just because they were her protectors, sworn to keep her safe at all costs, but because they were her friends and they cared about her.
�If I tell you, will you promise not to tell Haruka?� Rei sank down onto the floor and the scouts looked at each other in confusion. What did this have to do with Haruka?
�Of course, Usagi: it�s your business. We won�t tell anyone.� Ami said after she�d recovered from the shock of such an unexpected request.
�Not even Motoki.� Makoto blurted out, followed by a deep blush and Minako couldn�t help but snicker. Usagi let out a shaky breath.
�Well, you know that I�ve been having dreams about Mamo-chan since he�since he died.� The girls nodded collectively. �And Minako, you know that they�ve been less frequent, less vivid over the last year.� The other girls looked a little surprised at this, but she hurried on before they could ask her any questions. �And Rei, you know that I�ve been having�other dreams. Well, I didn�t tell you, I didn�t tell any of you, that sometimes in those other dreams there was this man.� Unconsciously, Minako and Makoto leaned forward, their eyes wide. �He�s been reappearing in my dreams for the last several months, and though he felt familiar, I didn�t know who it was; I could never see his face. But last night�� She didn�t know if she could go on. If her friends reacted the way she thought they might Usagi didn�t think she could handle that. She couldn�t bear it if they thought ill of her.
�Yes, last night�� Minako prompted her, nodding encouragingly at her, hoping it was a steamy dream.
�Last night, he turned around, and I saw his face.� She looked down at her hands terrified at what they were going to say. �It was Seiya.�

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Moon and Stars