Dropped in a Fangirl\'s World

Dropped in a Fangirl's World

Chapter 4

"Whaat? Explain that again, please?"

"…I was passing time in between cases building a castle out of rubik's cubes, while I was building the tower there was an earthquake…." Near briefly glanced around the room before shifting his gaze back to the strands of hair he was twirling around his fingers. In front of him to his right Jeichan raised her hand, an incredulous expression on her face and a spark of humor in her eyes. Near ignored her. "…I fell off the ladder and ended up unconscious and buried beneath the cubes…."

"….so because of the latter you were puzzled to death…." Jeichan muttered before backing away behind the annoyed glares of his guests. "I know, I know, no punning. Though if a tower of puzzles fell on top of him, I could say Near was literally puzzled to death…."

"….Jeichan, no more punning, riddle, or joke books for you…." Light, exasperated, shook his head and then sat down on the couch, his expression closed in thought. 'Damn, if I could get back to the death note universe, I could be Kira again….no one could stand in my way….'

"….now that I've explained how I died for the umpteenth time, can someone explain to me why Kira is allowed to roam free here?" Near followed Light's every movement with narrowed eyes, the gray irises shining with a mixture of wariness and intrigue. While on their way to L's apartment, Mello and Matt had filled him in on the bizarre reality that their world was a fictional manga in this one, and as that information processed through his brain, Near had noticed Light. That first second a chill raced up his spine and left behind a nagging feeling of danger that only intensified with each passing moment.

"….that….um….." Matt glanced over to Mello, whose face briefly held surprise that the scarred blond quickly schooled. The red-haired gamer studied his fellow orphan as Mello shrugged and motioned towards L - his nonverbal reply easy to understand: 'Don't know, ask L. '

L chewed on his thumbnail, head tilted slightly and black eyes frowning. He sighed and replied before Near turned to him for an answer.

"I have Yagami-kun under surveillance already. There are cameras in his apartment and a tracking device in his watch that also has a pulse monitor to show if it is actually being worn. Further, his apartment is right next door to mine and Watari's…."

"…I guess that is okay then. It would be better if we could have him followed…."

"I already follow him everywhere he goes outside his apartment." L replied while Light glared at him. The detective noticed his nemesis's angry eyes and turned toward the brunet. "Does Yagami-kun have something to say?"

"…there's no need for you to stalk me everywhere. Death notes and Shinigami don't exist in this world."

"Under normal circumstances, I'd agree with your logic, Yagami-kun, but as we are supposed to be nothing but fictional characters in this world….our presence here means it's possible that Shinigami, and their death notes, can enter this world as well." L scratched his left foot with his right as he spoke, then reached for his cup of tea on the small table beside the couch. He sipped some of the amber liquid, his dark eyes watching Light as the man stared back at him. L could tell that Light wished to retort, but couldn't think of a counterargument.

"….Um…." Jeichan interrupted, her hands folded behind her head as she gave them a quizzical look, her head tilted to the side. "I have a theory…maybe you all are just figments of my imagination grown so powerful that it's manifesting itself in reality?"

Five pairs of eyes stared at her, some intrigued, others incredulous. About two seconds passed before Light raised an eyebrow, studying her closely. "…So, you're saying maybe we're just your hallucinations?"

"…possibly….or maybe…." Jeichan began, only to be cut off by Light, as the brunet shook his head.

"Sorry, but I feel too real to be an hallucination."

"….well, maybe you're extensions of myself manifested into my conscious reality….maybe this whole world is just an extension of my unconscious mind affecting the conscious world…."

"….Ok….Sorry but I don't believe in solipsism…."

"Of course it wouldn't matter what you believe, since you'd be just a part of my unconscious that doubts that my consciousness is the only consciousness in existence…."

"…..you've been reading wikipedia's philosophy pages again, haven't you?" L interrupted as he placed his finished cup of tea on the table, then proceeded to pour out another cup of the amber liquid.

"Of course, I have to do something to occupy my time. And since none of you seem keen on providing me with entertaining scenes of sexy boy love, I'm stuck with using only my imagination…."

"Oh, god…please keep me out of your imagination." Mello grimaced, shuddering as Jeichan tilted her head in thought.

"No can do….there's almost nothing I keep out of my imagination…." She grinned, while her eyes followed L and Light. "Though….if you help me get a photo of L and Light handcuffed together, I'll consider trying to delete you from my imagination….."

"…..you dare try to get me into handcuffs, I'll destroy all your fan fiction….." Light growled, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.

Before Jeichan could retort with a counter-threat, the cell-phone in her pocket vibrated; she sighed as she checked it, her thoughts still focused on the brunet. 'AH! It's B…..I'd forgotten I'm supposed to meet him now…..'

"Um…." Near twirled a strand of his white-blond hair between his fingers and gazed around the room. "….now that things are settled with the surveillance of Kira….who's in charge of shopping? I need some toys….."

"….toys…." Jeichan glanced up from her cell-phone, in midst of sending B a text; her lips pressed together to drown back the giggling threatening to escape. "…..what kind of toys?"

"At the very least a….." Near began, either not observing or dismissing the fan-girl's grin as simply being strange; he blinked the next second as Light interrupted.

"Not the kind of toys you're thinking of, Jeichan….." The brunet glared at the fan-girl, the next second rubbing his right temple to chase away a headache.

"Oh? And just what kind of toys am I thinking of?" Jeichan asked in a sweet, innocent sounding voice, her hands held behind her back; she leaned forward and smiled as Light shook his head.

"….your kind of toys - the fruity ones….."

"I….um…..well, I would respond to that with a corny joke, but…." Jeichan blinked then closed her mouth for a few seconds in thought. "….god, even my subconscious is perverted….I just thought of a yaoi anime I watched a few years ago where the seme used a cob of corn to…."

"Ok, moving on…." Mello interrupted, ignoring Jeichan's fake pout. The next moment the fan-girl shrugged and returned to her cell-phone; reading B's most recent text.

- 'I'm at the bus stop, when the hell are you going to be here? -

'In a minute, in a minute….we were talking about Near and his toys…..' She texted back, ignoring those around her as they settled on a non-perverted topic.

- '….so even he's here now?' -

'Yep, and wait until you hear how he died…..'

0

B chewed on his thumbnail as he listened to Jeichan's account of Near's death, his lips twitching.

"….that's the most pathetic death….though," B paused, glancing at Jeichan while she glanced down the street to check if the bus was approaching. "…at least he died getting some good vibrations…."

"Vibra….oh, god….B, I think we should stay away from the gutter until after the buffet…."

"….I couldn't resist."

"Yeah, like Near can't resist playing with his toys."

"….or Matt with his joystick."

Jeichan blinked and stared at B. "…..I think it's Mello's department to mess with Matt and his joystick…."

"…..I thought you wanted to stay away from the gutter?"

"Impossible. My mind LIVES in the gutter….."

"….I think your mind passed the gutter at birth….."

"That is probably true….."

B glanced down the road, crouched over in his white shirt and the bondage pants Jeichan gave him to wear until she could wash his jeans. He blinked and turned back toward the fan-girl. "You know…..if you put my and your initials together, you'd get a…."

"Not in public, B."

"…J."

"You had to go there, didn't you?"

"Of course." The black-haired man paused, tracing the edges of the bus shelter with a pale forefinger. His eyes narrowed slightly. "….when's the bus supposed to get here?"

"Any second now."

"Make it come faster."

"…..you're telling someone whose mind is perpetually lost in the gutter to make a twinkie-shaped object come faster? Oi…"

"…..do you think it's cream-filled?"

"Oh, god, B! I know I'm having trouble coming up with jokes for this fanfic, but this is…."

"It's not like you're trying to keep it PG rated….." B scratched the back of his leg with his foot, and pulled at the chains on his pants. "…..I'm bored."

"You're beyond bored….." Jeichan grinned as B glared at her, the next second changing to a singsong voice. "Bored Beyond Birthday, Bored Beyond Birthday, oh Bored, oh Bored, oh Bored Beyond Birthday…."

"….Do you wanna die?"

"With pleasure." Jeichan paused and pulled at her bottom lip. "Does that make me a masochist? Wanting to die with pleasure?"

"That….words just can't describe…."

"The taste of your -" Jeichan froze and slapped her hands over her face. "Holy hell, my mind's censor board has completely broken down….."

"…..what were you about to say? Seriously. Have you ever actually tasted my…."

"Go to hell, B."

"….if I can come with L, certainly."

Jeichan glared at B and punched him on the arm, lips pursed as he smirked. "Let's get one thing straight….."

"….there's a joke coming, but I'm not touching it." The dark-eyed man tilted his head before side-glancing at Jeichan through the thick strands of his black hair. "….I thought you didn't like 'em straight?"

"….I thought you weren't going to touch it?"

"I changed my mind…..oh, there's the bus coming around the loop…."

"….." Jeichan's eyes widened. "I am not touching that. Not touching that."

"…..I don't think I wanna know." B muttered as the bus turned onto back onto the main road and approached them.

"Time to board the twinkie-shaped bus." Jeichan laughed as the bus stopped in front of them, the door sliding open. Behind her B blinked.

"…if you'll touch that, what is it you won't touch?" The dark-haired criminal asked as they paid their fare and found a seat by a window in the back.

"The loophole of my insanity."

"….?"

"When you said 'loop' the first thing I thought was 'hole'. Now replace the 'word' loop with 'hole' and…."

"….and bus with twinkie, right?"

"WOW! Your perversity level is beyond mine. 'The twinkie is coming around the hole'….is it still a Freudian Slip if you say it deliberately?"

"I have no idea…..look up Freudian Slit online…."

"….Oi! You did that on purpose!"

"Butt, of course."

"….I think we both need a chill pill." Jeichan breathed in deeply and leaned back on her seat, stretching out her legs, while next to her B balanced with one foot on the seat, knee pulled to his chest, and one foot remaining on the floor.

"That I agree with - you both need to stop it with the perversity." L's monotone voice spoke from behind them, causing them to jump; the detective paused and tapped his lip as Jeichan and B turned around.

"Holy hell, when did you get there?" Jeichan asked before completely turning around to observe the detective; the next second she blinked and her lips parted as she saw what L wore. "…..you're wearing one of my hoodies and pair bondage pants….."

"Of course. I wouldn't follow you while wearing my usual clothes…."

"But….but how did you….why would you follow….?"

"For the all-you-can-eat dessert, of course. You're not leaving me out of that…." L leaned forward, bringing his legs onto the bus seat so that he sat in his customary crouch, the chains of the bondage pants he wore jangling.

B snarled silently at the detective, his narrowed eyes glaring the next second at Jeichan beside him. "….you told him or let it slip somehow, didn't you?"

"Absolutely not. I….I was waiting until he agreed to kiss Light with tongue before I told him….." Jeichan blinked, the next second shaking her head, her lips parted slightly; her face lit up considerably as realization struck her. "…..you read my fanfic. The one based on this….."

"That is correct. I was bored yesterday, and the internet wasn't working….so I scanned through your fanfics on your computer." L paused, watching the two closely with his dark eyes; his expression between a glower and a pout. "…..were you seriously going to leave me out of an all-you-can-eat buffet and dessert bar?"

"Grrr…..this is supposed to be a treat for me. Stay out of this." B glared at the detective, his black-pupil eyes slits. His fists clenched tightly around the side of the bus seat, enough to whiten his already pale fingers.

"But it's being paid for with my credit card….."

"….Then go make-out with Kira and have Jeichan bring you another day."

L tilted his head in thought, his lips forming a pout; that is until a second later when an idea flashed through his thoughts. Without warning, except for a glance at Jeichan to make sure the fan-girl was watching, he grabbed B's shirt collar and pressed his lips against B's.

"AH! Kyaaaaa! BL! Yaaa!" Jeichan squealed, her heart pounding intensely as she recorded the scene in her thoughts, too overwhelmed to snap a photo with her phone.

"….I believe Jeichan now agrees I should go to the buffet as well." L broke the kiss, and turned toward Jeichan, who nodded vigorously in assent; beside her B blinked and fell from his seat. "B?"

"….I…..I…."

"…..I think you've put him in shock….."