Deal! Fortune!...in bed.
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+S to Z › Shuffle! (Shaffuru!)
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Chapters:
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Category:
+S to Z › Shuffle! (Shaffuru!)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
3,814
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own “Shuffle!”. I do not profit financially from this fiction.
Chapter 4: The Green Light
The Anime series “Shuffle” is brought to us by Funimation, not me. I do not profit financially from this. The line between dirty and filthy is clear but the line between dirty and merely naughty always seems dotted. Cold water reviews welcome.
[Title:] Deal! Fortune! The boy who could become either a god or a devil…in bed.
---
Chapter 4: The Green Light
---
It was only a wine cellar, and only alcohol could interrupt the inter-world incident escalating around a koi pond. Rin bent forward and called down.
“Hello?”
The kings were still shouting outside, but the silence in the cellar was stark.
“Sia?” He dropped her name more like an ominous depth-testing stone than a wishing coin.
There was no warning sound, only a flash of wood that nearly took Rin’s head off. He fell back on his rump, clutched the dull pain there, then the sharp exasperation in his skull, and grumbled. The ground outside grumbled back; the commotion in the yard now sounded like it would spread to neighboring homes before it would subside.
These types of homes didn’t have attics, but the flash of wood had been a protracting ladder and the ladder led to a matching hatch in the ceiling.
The Right Thing to Do, as a voice, was really more of a monologue than a dialogue, but every so often it spoke like a concerned friend:
This isn’t some clever bit of architecture, Rin. This ladder is magic and as likely to take you to the moon as it is to take you to a stash of booze.
I know.
Good. Then why don’t you look elsewhere?
Sia could be up there.
Exactly. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself enough for one day?
Yes. No. I don’t-maybe she’s in trouble.
And if she is waiting for you, simmering under the Lemon Star, coiled like a snake, you can handle it? You have ‘handled it’ already, I suppose.
Ha. Ha.
Hm. Maybe it is just liquor up there. You should go up if only to get out of the line of fire.
But you just said…
Get up there!
The ladder was taller than it seemed, the attic too vast to even pretend it was a part of the house he found it in. A single domed skylight straddled the high peak of the under-roof. Its pillar of light made dust motes seem like lonely fairies in a chamber that was not just empty, but cleared out. Rin didn’t wait to ask if retreat were the Right Way to Go, but the hatch was gone when he turned around.
Of course. Didn’t see that coming.
[Don’t confuse The Narrator with the Right Thing to Do, young mister.]
Oh, Heaven and Hell forbid.
Rin, the boy every girl wants but who is actually a smartass little brat, slouched and turned slowly back around. He almost laughed, almost moaned when he saw the spacious reading chair. He did a little of both when he looked at the end table next to it. There, in an ornate crystal bowl, were two handfuls of spherical chocolates. A pink and white striped origami heart nestled itself into the clutch.
“Sia?!” Rin had finally been exacerbated into defensiveness now, even as he walked knowingly into the trap.
“Sia?! Kikiyo?! I know you can hear me, so you can come out now.”
As he had suspected at first glace, Sia had written his name on the heart and folded it in a way that begged him to unfold it. The fold-up heart became a larger cut-out heart. On the other side of his name was a message:
I spent all night making these chocolates just for you, Rin. I’d wanted to bring them to you, but somehow I just know I dropped a bit of jewelry in one of them! I can’t bear the thought of losing it (Or of you chipping a tooth!) so I need you to eat them here for me CAREFULLY. As soon as you find it I’ll be able to rest easy. I’m so sorry to keep you, but I had an idea…
Maybe if I put on a show while you eat they’ll go faster, like candies in a movie theater.
Not thinking, not thinking at all, Rin flopped down into the chair to re-read what he couldn’t have read correctly. The paper smelled a little like chocolate and a lot like very fruity, very girlie body spray. Reading it for a third time, the paper started to look more panty-shaped than heart-shaped. He picked up a chocolate and examined it in disbelief.
The light went out, all the way out, then refocused tightly into the center of the room. Skylight to spotlight was too dramatic a transformation to be dangerous, but it was all sudden enough to make Rin grip the chair. He dropped his chocolate in the process, but found it in his lap and popped it in his mouth without thinking, without thinking at all.
A deep grumble spoke as softly as it could, reciting something with dramatic hesitation. This made Rin’s knuckles white enough to glow, even as it was immediately followed by a delicate synthesis of pipe organs and choir angels. The sound seemed to angle the light further back, dust motes now like a pillar of snowfall. This inverted curtain was perfect for introducing a woman in a hooded, black velvet cloak; so it did.
A man’s voice sang out in what Rin guessed might be English, maybe French. Western singing always sounded the same to him, even when it was so baritone that even a croon sounded like a moan.
It was Sia under the cloak, of course, maybe possessed by Kikiyo again, maybe by the Grim Reaper’s concubine. She walked forward purposefully and the light followed like a veil. Every step complimented the song, obviously meant to imitate, or perhaps profane western church music. Each step lifted the ground beneath her feet, or lowered the ground beneath Rin’s chair, he would never remember which. He could definitely take another chocolate, though, and another to help his friend find her jewel between his tongue, heaven and the roof of his mouth.
Sia raised her hands toward the sky, toward something vaster. The robe cascaded to the floor and the light vanished too quickly to see more than a flash of skin and black fabric. A ring of green lights, thick enough for a darkroom, exploded into life all around them at the precise moment that the music exploded in romantic, epic, screaming metal.
The princess of Gods was dressed for an erotic funeral. The requiem poured from unseen speakers all around them, a march of churning guitar and thundering drums beneath a banner of choir and organ. Once brooding, the voice sang out with a powerful confidence, as refined as it was lascivious. Rin didn’t know what strip-clubs were really like and he didn’t know where the chrome pole had come from, but Sia had better answers than the real ones.
She put her arms behind her head and walked with her hips as much as her legs. It was as if she were taking an aimless stroll with herself, sweeping invisible wildflowers with the trail of her sheer ankle-length nightgown. It became more and more like a net as it began slipping from one shoulder, then the other, eventually cast off as she spun onto the pole. Rin didn’t blink, didn’t think to suck on the next chocolate before biting down.
The next and the next made his mouth sweet, sweet then dry, but more and faster could fix each other. He almost forgot to chew as Sia climbed up the pole, only to spiral down it again. One leg drew in tight beneath her and stretched the other further outward. Her boot heels alternately impaled the air, kissed the backs of her legs, and saluted the green light with black…leather…vinyl…chocolate? The material didn’t mater. Rin reached for more candy and his hand brushed against a tall tumbler of ice and what he hoped was only water. He took a long sip without blinking and tried not to sigh too loudly.
Sia’s skirt was made for her boots and had clearly wanted to be a belt anyway. When she performed an effortless handstand to cling to the pole by her ankles, Rin could see that her panties were tiny and somehow darker than the pitch pushing back at the green light around them. With her hair sweeping just above the floor, Rin saw that her eyes were gone, shadowed so heavily that closing them turned her whole face deathly…but then she opened her mouth and he saw that her lips were green, an emerald darker than…colors? Shapes? Yes, shapes, Sia drew shapes with her fingers over her chest, over the corset that enhanced it.
Rin was having a hard time appreciating her movements and her chocolates at the same time. He had to force himself to blink, to chew. The music changed again, the singer’s voice becoming impossibly deep, almost inhuman, lifting Sia up the pole again. Once at the very top, she relaxed her thighs so that she began to spiral downward, upside down. Her hair swung out, guided by the song’s latest change to angel organs. A crashing return to metal groaning sex lifted Sia’s head and body at the precise moment to spread, to sprawl herself onto the floor.
The song settled into gentle acoustic guitar, to a sweeter croon that still shouldn’t be possible from the same man. Sia kicked her legs slowly, treading molasses.
Rin took another chocolate. Another. Another.
Each time one leg came back within reach she deftly undid a button along her calf. One boot she slid off with both hands. Another chocolate for Rin. Another boot she removed with her bare toes. Rin thought of Kareha’s story and took another chocolate not to. In movements too soft for bones, Sia swirled round and sat up on spread knees. Drums punctuated the serene music and Sia began to remove her corset, swiveling every part of her in every other direction. The singer rediscovered more passion and Rin wondered if trying to translate the lyrics would distract him enough to relieve the tightness in his pants.
The corset fell so that Sia’s hair could have a turn at not really hiding her breasts. The guitars soared electrically now toward some impossible apex and she crawled toward Rin on all fours. He wondered, distantly, if he could turn away. This was not a playful flash. This presence approaching him had covered herself so that he must look, so that he dare not blink, move, breathe. His throat flexed, his hand flexed and reached for another chocolate. It was no kind of cold in there but Sia’s eyes opened for the first time and Rin’s teeth chattered. His hand flapped about and found nothing but ice in his glass, nothing but fingerprints in the crystal.
Sia’s movements had formed a new Now. She was close enough to touch, sitting up on spread knees again, her hair the true color of red velvet, the final dare in a simple parting of curtains. Nails painted to match her lips traced along her faintly heaving belly. Rin noticed the tiny chocolate spying out from her navel in the gasping moment before she plucked it out and placed it in his mouth. It was like that first impossibly bitter taste of coffee and Rin couldn’t help but pucker. Sia shushed him, then kissed the other side of her finger. The singer hollered like the most noble of night-fiends holding back the sun, and Sia began turning away. To this day Rin will not admit how sorry he was to know the song and show were ending, or how it felt to know nothing.
The drums awoke and returned the pace of the world. Sia sat into Rin’s lap, folding his length against his stomach in a single solid, fluid, steaming motion. The guitar became both more aggressive and more upbeat. The singer was definitely singing something in English. If he translated it he could stay in control. Even if it was profane (and he expected it to be) Rin had to recall his language notes before Sia made him lose something he hadn’t even recovered yet. She was rocking, grinding into him, her hair gliding over them both. Her skirt was up, her hips were down, her body-
What is he saying? What is this monster rocker so smug about?
Sia leaned back and Rin closed his eyes, knowing he could easily look down at her bare breasts, heaving with her as she heaved into him. She curled the back of her neck against his shoulder, waving the exquisite scent of her directly into his brain.
Did he say someone ‘looks?’
Did he say the American word for God?
Sia's hands tore his own from the chair and placed them on her waist. The Right Thing to Do would be to resist, but the Right Thing to Do somehow tricked him into gripping tightly.
Was he singing about what heaven looked like?
No.
“Yes," slipped out of Rin's mouth in a tiny breath.
Sia took a breath through her mouth and let it out through her hips into his lap. The singer boasted, the singer declared in triumph that he looked like, that someone looked like someone. The whistling organ, the serene choir, what pornography were they hiding? The repeated line rose with even more force and Sia bore down with the same.
She must know this song well.
Such an obvious realization brought Rin's mind off his own hips, but that just made them buck with more force than he realized he’d been holding back. They were automatic. No. They were alive. He was alive. He was healthy and strong and the spotlight, the Sun’s own Will warming the Shadows, it all had granted them a stage. The green and black were hazy behind their passion and the song was over.
It had ended so abruptly that Rin wasn’t even startled by the sound of his own heavy breathing, or Sia’s, louder than his own. Another moment and his own overwhelming declaration engulfed him, the exact sound of convulsion. The bitter chocolate in his mouth disappeared.
He grasped at his throat and swallowed again, wondering what had been wrong with that last chocolate. Sia sprang up, and whirled around in disbelief. Rin watched her roughly fold her arms at him. He could not see her expression for the light behind her, but she sounded cross for some strange reason.
“Rin! How could you?!”
Now torn entirely from his reverie, Rin’s eyes blinked, bulged, and then crashed back as they tried to do both.
“That pearl has been in my family for generations! I went through all this trouble and you just-”
Sia huffed, picked up the glass of half-melted ice, and poured it onto Rin’s lap with almost robotic precision.
And Rin’s lap said: Cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s nerves said: Really cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s brain said: Too damn cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s mouth said: “C-C-C-Cr-Cr-CRAZY BITCH!”
The both of them said: …
Sia moved her hands down to her hips very slowly. Rin nurtured his anger for another moment, knowing he couldn’t bring it back to life, but desperate to be seen trying. The effort was brief, life was brief, but Rin didn’t know if he was ready to die.
“I am a god, Rin.”
Her tone was serious as if serious meant obvious, but whether he’d enraged her, or mortally wounded her feelings, Rin didn’t know. The Right Thing to Say would be The Right Thing to Do, therefore he'd have to say something that was at least accurate if not true. He’d translated that final line in the song, and so he sang to himself in a lucid if bloodless dream.
“Jesus Christ looks like me."
[Title:] Deal! Fortune! The boy who could become either a god or a devil…in bed.
---
Chapter 4: The Green Light
---
It was only a wine cellar, and only alcohol could interrupt the inter-world incident escalating around a koi pond. Rin bent forward and called down.
“Hello?”
The kings were still shouting outside, but the silence in the cellar was stark.
“Sia?” He dropped her name more like an ominous depth-testing stone than a wishing coin.
There was no warning sound, only a flash of wood that nearly took Rin’s head off. He fell back on his rump, clutched the dull pain there, then the sharp exasperation in his skull, and grumbled. The ground outside grumbled back; the commotion in the yard now sounded like it would spread to neighboring homes before it would subside.
These types of homes didn’t have attics, but the flash of wood had been a protracting ladder and the ladder led to a matching hatch in the ceiling.
The Right Thing to Do, as a voice, was really more of a monologue than a dialogue, but every so often it spoke like a concerned friend:
This isn’t some clever bit of architecture, Rin. This ladder is magic and as likely to take you to the moon as it is to take you to a stash of booze.
I know.
Good. Then why don’t you look elsewhere?
Sia could be up there.
Exactly. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself enough for one day?
Yes. No. I don’t-maybe she’s in trouble.
And if she is waiting for you, simmering under the Lemon Star, coiled like a snake, you can handle it? You have ‘handled it’ already, I suppose.
Ha. Ha.
Hm. Maybe it is just liquor up there. You should go up if only to get out of the line of fire.
But you just said…
Get up there!
The ladder was taller than it seemed, the attic too vast to even pretend it was a part of the house he found it in. A single domed skylight straddled the high peak of the under-roof. Its pillar of light made dust motes seem like lonely fairies in a chamber that was not just empty, but cleared out. Rin didn’t wait to ask if retreat were the Right Way to Go, but the hatch was gone when he turned around.
Of course. Didn’t see that coming.
[Don’t confuse The Narrator with the Right Thing to Do, young mister.]
Oh, Heaven and Hell forbid.
Rin, the boy every girl wants but who is actually a smartass little brat, slouched and turned slowly back around. He almost laughed, almost moaned when he saw the spacious reading chair. He did a little of both when he looked at the end table next to it. There, in an ornate crystal bowl, were two handfuls of spherical chocolates. A pink and white striped origami heart nestled itself into the clutch.
“Sia?!” Rin had finally been exacerbated into defensiveness now, even as he walked knowingly into the trap.
“Sia?! Kikiyo?! I know you can hear me, so you can come out now.”
As he had suspected at first glace, Sia had written his name on the heart and folded it in a way that begged him to unfold it. The fold-up heart became a larger cut-out heart. On the other side of his name was a message:
I spent all night making these chocolates just for you, Rin. I’d wanted to bring them to you, but somehow I just know I dropped a bit of jewelry in one of them! I can’t bear the thought of losing it (Or of you chipping a tooth!) so I need you to eat them here for me CAREFULLY. As soon as you find it I’ll be able to rest easy. I’m so sorry to keep you, but I had an idea…
Maybe if I put on a show while you eat they’ll go faster, like candies in a movie theater.
Not thinking, not thinking at all, Rin flopped down into the chair to re-read what he couldn’t have read correctly. The paper smelled a little like chocolate and a lot like very fruity, very girlie body spray. Reading it for a third time, the paper started to look more panty-shaped than heart-shaped. He picked up a chocolate and examined it in disbelief.
The light went out, all the way out, then refocused tightly into the center of the room. Skylight to spotlight was too dramatic a transformation to be dangerous, but it was all sudden enough to make Rin grip the chair. He dropped his chocolate in the process, but found it in his lap and popped it in his mouth without thinking, without thinking at all.
A deep grumble spoke as softly as it could, reciting something with dramatic hesitation. This made Rin’s knuckles white enough to glow, even as it was immediately followed by a delicate synthesis of pipe organs and choir angels. The sound seemed to angle the light further back, dust motes now like a pillar of snowfall. This inverted curtain was perfect for introducing a woman in a hooded, black velvet cloak; so it did.
A man’s voice sang out in what Rin guessed might be English, maybe French. Western singing always sounded the same to him, even when it was so baritone that even a croon sounded like a moan.
It was Sia under the cloak, of course, maybe possessed by Kikiyo again, maybe by the Grim Reaper’s concubine. She walked forward purposefully and the light followed like a veil. Every step complimented the song, obviously meant to imitate, or perhaps profane western church music. Each step lifted the ground beneath her feet, or lowered the ground beneath Rin’s chair, he would never remember which. He could definitely take another chocolate, though, and another to help his friend find her jewel between his tongue, heaven and the roof of his mouth.
Sia raised her hands toward the sky, toward something vaster. The robe cascaded to the floor and the light vanished too quickly to see more than a flash of skin and black fabric. A ring of green lights, thick enough for a darkroom, exploded into life all around them at the precise moment that the music exploded in romantic, epic, screaming metal.
The princess of Gods was dressed for an erotic funeral. The requiem poured from unseen speakers all around them, a march of churning guitar and thundering drums beneath a banner of choir and organ. Once brooding, the voice sang out with a powerful confidence, as refined as it was lascivious. Rin didn’t know what strip-clubs were really like and he didn’t know where the chrome pole had come from, but Sia had better answers than the real ones.
She put her arms behind her head and walked with her hips as much as her legs. It was as if she were taking an aimless stroll with herself, sweeping invisible wildflowers with the trail of her sheer ankle-length nightgown. It became more and more like a net as it began slipping from one shoulder, then the other, eventually cast off as she spun onto the pole. Rin didn’t blink, didn’t think to suck on the next chocolate before biting down.
The next and the next made his mouth sweet, sweet then dry, but more and faster could fix each other. He almost forgot to chew as Sia climbed up the pole, only to spiral down it again. One leg drew in tight beneath her and stretched the other further outward. Her boot heels alternately impaled the air, kissed the backs of her legs, and saluted the green light with black…leather…vinyl…chocolate? The material didn’t mater. Rin reached for more candy and his hand brushed against a tall tumbler of ice and what he hoped was only water. He took a long sip without blinking and tried not to sigh too loudly.
Sia’s skirt was made for her boots and had clearly wanted to be a belt anyway. When she performed an effortless handstand to cling to the pole by her ankles, Rin could see that her panties were tiny and somehow darker than the pitch pushing back at the green light around them. With her hair sweeping just above the floor, Rin saw that her eyes were gone, shadowed so heavily that closing them turned her whole face deathly…but then she opened her mouth and he saw that her lips were green, an emerald darker than…colors? Shapes? Yes, shapes, Sia drew shapes with her fingers over her chest, over the corset that enhanced it.
Rin was having a hard time appreciating her movements and her chocolates at the same time. He had to force himself to blink, to chew. The music changed again, the singer’s voice becoming impossibly deep, almost inhuman, lifting Sia up the pole again. Once at the very top, she relaxed her thighs so that she began to spiral downward, upside down. Her hair swung out, guided by the song’s latest change to angel organs. A crashing return to metal groaning sex lifted Sia’s head and body at the precise moment to spread, to sprawl herself onto the floor.
The song settled into gentle acoustic guitar, to a sweeter croon that still shouldn’t be possible from the same man. Sia kicked her legs slowly, treading molasses.
Rin took another chocolate. Another. Another.
Each time one leg came back within reach she deftly undid a button along her calf. One boot she slid off with both hands. Another chocolate for Rin. Another boot she removed with her bare toes. Rin thought of Kareha’s story and took another chocolate not to. In movements too soft for bones, Sia swirled round and sat up on spread knees. Drums punctuated the serene music and Sia began to remove her corset, swiveling every part of her in every other direction. The singer rediscovered more passion and Rin wondered if trying to translate the lyrics would distract him enough to relieve the tightness in his pants.
The corset fell so that Sia’s hair could have a turn at not really hiding her breasts. The guitars soared electrically now toward some impossible apex and she crawled toward Rin on all fours. He wondered, distantly, if he could turn away. This was not a playful flash. This presence approaching him had covered herself so that he must look, so that he dare not blink, move, breathe. His throat flexed, his hand flexed and reached for another chocolate. It was no kind of cold in there but Sia’s eyes opened for the first time and Rin’s teeth chattered. His hand flapped about and found nothing but ice in his glass, nothing but fingerprints in the crystal.
Sia’s movements had formed a new Now. She was close enough to touch, sitting up on spread knees again, her hair the true color of red velvet, the final dare in a simple parting of curtains. Nails painted to match her lips traced along her faintly heaving belly. Rin noticed the tiny chocolate spying out from her navel in the gasping moment before she plucked it out and placed it in his mouth. It was like that first impossibly bitter taste of coffee and Rin couldn’t help but pucker. Sia shushed him, then kissed the other side of her finger. The singer hollered like the most noble of night-fiends holding back the sun, and Sia began turning away. To this day Rin will not admit how sorry he was to know the song and show were ending, or how it felt to know nothing.
The drums awoke and returned the pace of the world. Sia sat into Rin’s lap, folding his length against his stomach in a single solid, fluid, steaming motion. The guitar became both more aggressive and more upbeat. The singer was definitely singing something in English. If he translated it he could stay in control. Even if it was profane (and he expected it to be) Rin had to recall his language notes before Sia made him lose something he hadn’t even recovered yet. She was rocking, grinding into him, her hair gliding over them both. Her skirt was up, her hips were down, her body-
What is he saying? What is this monster rocker so smug about?
Sia leaned back and Rin closed his eyes, knowing he could easily look down at her bare breasts, heaving with her as she heaved into him. She curled the back of her neck against his shoulder, waving the exquisite scent of her directly into his brain.
Did he say someone ‘looks?’
Did he say the American word for God?
Sia's hands tore his own from the chair and placed them on her waist. The Right Thing to Do would be to resist, but the Right Thing to Do somehow tricked him into gripping tightly.
Was he singing about what heaven looked like?
No.
“Yes," slipped out of Rin's mouth in a tiny breath.
Sia took a breath through her mouth and let it out through her hips into his lap. The singer boasted, the singer declared in triumph that he looked like, that someone looked like someone. The whistling organ, the serene choir, what pornography were they hiding? The repeated line rose with even more force and Sia bore down with the same.
She must know this song well.
Such an obvious realization brought Rin's mind off his own hips, but that just made them buck with more force than he realized he’d been holding back. They were automatic. No. They were alive. He was alive. He was healthy and strong and the spotlight, the Sun’s own Will warming the Shadows, it all had granted them a stage. The green and black were hazy behind their passion and the song was over.
It had ended so abruptly that Rin wasn’t even startled by the sound of his own heavy breathing, or Sia’s, louder than his own. Another moment and his own overwhelming declaration engulfed him, the exact sound of convulsion. The bitter chocolate in his mouth disappeared.
He grasped at his throat and swallowed again, wondering what had been wrong with that last chocolate. Sia sprang up, and whirled around in disbelief. Rin watched her roughly fold her arms at him. He could not see her expression for the light behind her, but she sounded cross for some strange reason.
“Rin! How could you?!”
Now torn entirely from his reverie, Rin’s eyes blinked, bulged, and then crashed back as they tried to do both.
“That pearl has been in my family for generations! I went through all this trouble and you just-”
Sia huffed, picked up the glass of half-melted ice, and poured it onto Rin’s lap with almost robotic precision.
And Rin’s lap said: Cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s nerves said: Really cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s brain said: Too damn cold!
And Sia said: …
And Rin’s mouth said: “C-C-C-Cr-Cr-CRAZY BITCH!”
The both of them said: …
Sia moved her hands down to her hips very slowly. Rin nurtured his anger for another moment, knowing he couldn’t bring it back to life, but desperate to be seen trying. The effort was brief, life was brief, but Rin didn’t know if he was ready to die.
“I am a god, Rin.”
Her tone was serious as if serious meant obvious, but whether he’d enraged her, or mortally wounded her feelings, Rin didn’t know. The Right Thing to Say would be The Right Thing to Do, therefore he'd have to say something that was at least accurate if not true. He’d translated that final line in the song, and so he sang to himself in a lucid if bloodless dream.
“Jesus Christ looks like me."
--- --- ---
Author’s notes:
Extra points to anyone who guessed the band before the lap dance!
Extra EXTRA! points to anyone who guessed the song before the translation!
Extra caution around anyone who has seen the original 10 minute music video…
[Side Note] Extra…erotic funeral?! As of today 4/15, this point in the story (which I’ve reworked, abandoned, and tried to move forward from for too long [there’s proof]) is as done as it’s going to be. As of yesterday, 4/14 rumors began that the singer in question, Peter Steele, has died. It may be his latest hoax of this kind, but I’m going to put this up before I know for sure.