The Youkai Inside You

Chapter 4


Hakkai woke up, confused as to why he was in bed. He looked toward the window and saw daylight, but that couldn't possibly be right. It looked to be dawn, not dusk. He didn't even remember coming to his room to lay down. He sat up, feeling more rested than he had in a very long time. No nightmare. Strange, but he wouldn't complain about it.

He got up and stretched, realizing that he was hungry when his stomach made a comical growl. He chuckled, thinking it was more worthy of Goku than himself. Perhaps it was the restful sleep that stirred his hunger more. He hadn't really been eating all that well either with this going on. Maybe the peace of the temple was finally having a positive effect.

Hakkai washed up and dressed before he left his room for breakfast. He found Goku and Sanzo in the usual spot and sat with them. Goku nodded to him, cheeks puffed and full of food. Sanzo was sipping tea and barely gave him a glance. He watched Sanzo, sensing a coldness coming from him that was not usual. Hakkai thought back to yesterday. Maybe he had said something to make Sanzo angry and just couldn't remember it along with most everything else.

"How did you sleep?" Sanzo finally said.

"Oh, very well actually." Hakkai ate a few bites and looked back to him. "Um....when did I go to bed?"

Sanzo looked at him. "You don't remember?"

"No, or I wouldn't ask." He chuckled a bit.

"Oh, well, no big deal. We were talking in the orchard and you fell asleep. I brought you back. That's all." He went back to sipping his tea.

"I just....fell asleep?"

"Yes. It's not so surprising. You were exhausted and it's happened to you before."

"How can I forget?" Hakkai said and looked at his bowl of rice. "It was when Yisou came after me."

"Anyway, don't dwell on it. You got some needed sleep and you're feeling better, aren't you?"

"Well, yes." Something was still off though. He looked at Sanzo again and wondered if he was holding anything back. "Thank you, Sanzo," he said, just feeling the need to say it.

"No big deal. Just eat, okay?"

Hakkai nodded and ate quietly. He wouldn't push the matter needlessly. He just wanted to concentrate on the good, and since he was feeling better, maybe he could get his limiters back and leave soon. As peaceful as it was here, he did miss home. He even missed cleaning up all of Gojyo's messes. That got him thinking.

"Goku, was the house clean when you were there yesterday?"

"Um, mostly."

"Mostly?"

"Well, the kitchen was kind of a mess. And I could tell he may have burnt some food a few times by the smell."

"Oh my. Sanzo, maybe I should go back. Just to clean up a bit."

"No."

"Why?"

"The kappa needs to learn to take care of himself without relying on you all the time. You're here for a reason, and you need to stay until you're recovered."

"I understand that, but.."

"Hakkai, don't test me. I'll get my fan out."

"Wow," Goku said. "Sanzo hardly ever threatens you, Hakkai. Guess you better listen."

"I suppose so," Hakkai agreed, looking at Sanzo.

"Look at that. The monkey is sensible," Sanzo said.

"Hey Sanzo, did you give Hakkai his stuff yet?"

"Stuff?" Hakkai asked, eating a bit more.

"Gojyo gave me some things to bring back to you yesterday."

"Oh." Hakkai smiled soft. "Thoughtful of him."

"Yeah, but it was super heavy."

"I'm sorry." Hakkai's eyes softened.

"Don't complain, monkey!"

"I'm not."

"Sounds like it to me."

Hakkai watched the two of them, smiling soft as they argued. It always amazed him how Sanzo could look so mad, but deep down he knew he wasn't all that bothered. When Sanzo was really pissed, all of them could feel it. He was just relieved to see he looked more relaxed now yelling at Goku than he did when he first entered the room. Hakkai still wondered about his story of him just falling asleep, but he wouldn't question Sanzo about it again.

"Just get out of here!"

"Fine, ya big grump!" Goku said and stood, taking a bowl of biscuits with him as he left.

Hakkai waited until he was gone. "Just a normal day with you two, huh?"

"Tsk." Sanzo lit a cigarette. "Little brat."

"But you love him."

"That's what makes him such a pain in the ass."

Hakkai chuckled. "I see."

Sanzo changed the subject quickly. "Finish up and I'll take you to my room where your belongings are. We didn't want to bother you while you were sleeping."

"Thank you."

Sanzo waved his hand and smoked, looking off toward one of the windows.
Hakkai smiled to himself and went back to eating. Several monks left the dinning hall to go about their daily chores, while others stayed behind to begin cleanup. Hakkai was tempted to help, but thought Sanzo would get onto him about that too, so he refrained.

When he was done, Sanzo led him from the dinning hall. They both remained quiet as they went along. Hakkai kept reaching for pieces of memory, but could only remember sitting under a shady tree after leaving the temple with Sanzo. So strange. When they arrived to the room, Hakkai pushed it aside.

"Not sure what he sent back," Sanzo said, going for the bag in the corner of the room.

"I have plenty here already. I didn't ask for more."

"Who knows with the Kappa?" he said and handed it over.

Hakkai took the bag and unzipped to search the contents. He pulled out a book and stared at the cover for a moment, speechless. It was pornography. Hakkai looked up quick to see if Sanzo had noticed, but he was on the other side of the room looking through his desk. What the hell was Gojyo thinking, sending something like this to a sacred temple? He was almost afraid to see what else was in the bag. He looked and found several other similar books and felt his cheeks flush. His friend was an idiot Kappa. It had to be some sort of childish joke. He found a note sticking out of the last book and quietly read it.


You got to be bored hanging out with all them stuffy monks. Enjoy!

Gojyo



"What did he send?" Sanzo asked, opening the window to let some fresh air in.

Hakkai jerked soft and stuffed the books back hastily. "Oh, nothing important. Probably best if I just sent Goku back with it."

Sanzo looked over as he shoved the last book back in. "Why? It can't wait?"

"I would really rather not," Hakkai insisted, not wanting to stir up a fuss, but now Sanzo was becoming more curious as he stepped closer.

"What did that idiot send?"

"Just books," he said quickly, zipping up the bag to hide the offending covers.

"Hakkai."

"Yes?"

"You're acting like there are heads in that bag. What the fuck is it?"

"It's probably best I don't tell you," Hakkai said soft, giving him a sheepish look.

Sanzo's eye twitched. "That Kappa sent you something perverted, didn't he?"

Hakkai sighed and slide the bag over. "Afraid so."

Sanzo unzipped the bag and pulled the books out, eyes twitching more when he glimpsed at each cover. Hakkai stealthily stuffed the note in his pocket while his attention was grasped by the books. Sanzo growled and stuffed them back in the bag. Yes, this was the really pissed Sanzo he had been thinking about earlier.

"Like I said, I should send this back with Goku."

"No way," Sanzo sneered. Not at Hakkai, but at the bag.

"No way?" he asked, confused.

"No way am I sending this back to the damn pervert. I'm throwing them out in the trash."

"Oh," Hakkai said and nodded soft. "Guess it serves him right for sending them, but isn't that extreme?"

Sanzo grunted. "Not to me. If he thinks this is funny, he'll change his mind quick when I put my boot up his ass next time I see him."

"Alright, Sanzo. I understand. Just, let me get rid of them though."

"Goku can do it."

"Do you really want him getting nosy and seeing these? Or any of the monks?"

"Tsk, no."

"Then it's settled," Hakkai said and unzipped the bag once again, removing the books to pile in the trash can. Before he dropped the first book he saw the black cloth piled at the bottom of the trash bag. "Sanzo, is that one of your shirts?"

Sanzo froze. "Oh, yeah. I ripped it by accident and just tossed it."

Hakkai looked more. "And a pair of your pants?

"Just a stain. No big deal."

"Sanzo," Hakkai chuckled as he sat the books on the floor, "a rip and stain is easy enough to fix." He reached to grab them out, but was stopped by Sanzo's firm hand on his wrist. "Sanzo?" Hakkai looked up.

"You're here to rest, not work. Leave it."

Hakkai slowly stood upright, eyes downcast. "I'm sorry. Have I upset you?"

Sanzo sighed soft. "No, Hakkai. I just don't want you feeling like you have to do chores while you're here. I've already replaced the ruined clothing."

"Alright then," Hakkai said, picking up the books.

"Just leave those too. I'll go ahead and take them back to the Kappa."

"But I thought you said.."

"I don't want anyone seeing these and thinking they came out of this temple," Sanzo said, taking the books from his arms. "Besides, I don't feel like hearing Gojyo crying like a baby cause I threw away his garbage."

"Whatever you think is the best, Sanzo," Hakkai said and finally looked back at him.

Sanzo's eyes lost some of their sharpness. "Go on and enjoy the day. I need to get some work done, but I'll see you at dinner tonight."

Hakkai nodded soft. "See you later." He left, shutting the door soft behind him. He walked back to him room, trying to ignore the fact that he felt guilty. He didn't even know why. He hadn't done anything wrong. Had he?


~*~


Gojyo was scratching his head and looking at piles of laundry when he heard the front door being kicked open. His eyes narrowed as he stepped quietly to the bedroom door, listening to the asshole that was about to get his ass kicked for breaking into his house. It had been a long while since he'd had the opportunity to bust up someones face.

"Kappa, get your ass in here if you're home!" Sanzo yelled from the living room.

"Sanzo?" He walked out. "What the fuck is up with busting the door down?!"

Sanzo lifted the offending bag. "You sent this shit to my temple."

"....Oh...shit. Well, you weren't supposed to see that. It was for Hakkai. What are you doing with it?" Gojyo frowned back.

"Hakkai wanted it sent back, and don't change the subject!" His fan came out of nowhere, the blunt side of it smacking over the top of Gojyo's head.

"Ow, fuck!" Gojyo staggered back. "I really hate when you do that." He rubbed his head and hissed soft. "I think you broke some skin that time."

"Good, maybe this time it will get through your thick skull!"

"I was just being thoughtful. He's not a damn monk ya know. He's a real man."

Sanzo snorted. "You mean he's a pervert like you?" Sanzo got an image of what happened with the vines, but pushed it aside quickly. Not the time to think about that.

"Yes...I mean no." Gojyo sighed. "I'm sorry. When I sent the books to Hakkai, I didn't think anyone else would see them. I wasn't thinking about where I was sending them to."

"You rarely think, Gojyo. That's the problem." Sanzo dropped the bag to the floor.

"Cheery as always, Sanzo," Gojyo said and sat.

"If you want to see how he is, go visit him."

Gojyo looked over. "I don't want to disrupt his healing or anything."

"Yet, you sent porn to the temple," Sanzo said low and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I said I was sorry." He sat back further on the sofa. "Are you really that repressed?"

"Are you really this stupid?"

"Come on, Sanzo. You can't tell me you haven't even je.."

"Finish that sentence and you'll feel a bullet breaking skin this time," Sanzo warned, losing his patience.

"Alright, alright." Gojyo shook his head. "I'll come visit Hakkai then."

"Tomorrow."

"Why not now?"

"Because first, you're going to clean this mess. Knowing you, you promised Hakkai to keep things orderly, and look at this place."

Gojyo truly looked guilty for the first time since Sanzo busted in. "Yeah, I did promise him that."

"Then get to it. I have to get back." Sanzo turned to go.

"Wait!"

"What?" Sanzo said and sighed deep, looking over his shoulder.

"Is he doing okay?"

"Better, but he needs more time."

"Thanks," Gojyo whispered as Sanzo walked out the door. He looked around the room and groaned soft. He should have asked Sanzo to send the monkey to help clean. Fuck it, he probably would have said no to that too. After a few minutes he got up and went to work, starting with the laundry.


~*~


Hakkai tried to keep himself busy. He cleaned his small room and washed his laundry to pass the time. He even asked one of the monks if he could do any chores to help out. The old man had only shook his head no and smiled softly before he walked on down the hall. Hakkai wasn't usually one to get so restless or bored. He thought about going into town, but changed his mind just as quickly. He didn't want to get stares, or hear frightened whispers behind his back.

Goku played a few games of Mahjongg with him, but was soon off to eat when his stomach growled midway through the third game. Hakkai only smiled and told him to have a good meal, thumping his head soft on the wall when he was gone. It wasn't just boredom he was trying to vanquish, but also the nagging reminder of what he couldn't remember. He thought himself foolish for worrying so much about the orchard, but when he didn't have anything to keep his mind busy, he would find himself grasping for pieces again.

He decided to just take a walk and head that way. Maybe it would help if he returned to the place that eluded him. The day was calm, warm and fragrant with the smell flowers, much like it had been yesterday. He took a deep breath of fresh air and walked through the rows of trees, stopping to pick a few of the budding flowers from low hanging branches. He touched the soft petals between his fingers and smiled a little, wandering to the large tree.

He looked up and knew why Sanzo had picked this spot. It was shaded perfectly from direct sunlight, the light breeze coming through just right. Hakkai lowered and sat, looking at the white flowers he held in his hands. This seemed vaguely familiar. He blinked and looked at the white petals, running his fingers light over their soft texture. The claws on his fingertips looked crude in comparison to the delicate curves of the flowers.

He thought of white, one fang scraping soft against his bottom lip as he tried to remember. He closed his eyes. White wasn't exactly the right color. No. Cream color, like the soft tone of Sanzo's robes. Sanzo's robes. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat. He opened his eyes and swallowed as a shiver of arousal startled him. He shook himself. That was so out of place. He lowered his gaze to the dirt and saw some strange markings, like trails a snake might make as he slid along. Not so unusual for snakes to be out by the peach trees, but it made him suddenly feel cold.

Hakkai let the flowers drop from his hands and looked at the vines on his skin. He held his breath, then sent a few of the vines off, letting them slide through the dirt as if they were in search of something to grasp. He watched, fear growing. They were making the same exact markings. Gods, what had he done that Sanzo wanted to keep from him? His friend hadn't looked injured, but the way Sanzo acted when he'd found his tossed away clothing only solidified his worry.

Sanzo had said the shirt was torn. He looked at his claws. Had he been the cause? Was the stain Sanzo mentioned blood? Hakkai shivered. Had he attacked Sanzo without even being aware of it? It happened before, that day when his vines had moved on their own accord. He stood on legs that trembled, eyes still staring at the ground where he saw more clues of a struggle. Someone had been on their back in that spot. He had a slight vision of himself, asleep on the ground, peaceful and serene. The vision turned ugly when he imagined Sanzo struggling beneath him, fighting, yelling for him to stop.

"No," Hakkai whispered and turned away from the spot, running back toward the temple in a panic. He didn't know where Sanzo was, but he was heading toward his room to see if the clothes were still there. He had to be sure. He halted in front of his door, making sure no one was in the hall before he tapped light on the wood. No voice or sound came from within. He took a calming breath before he opened the door and closed it behind him. He felt like a thief even being here without Sanzo knowing. He would just make it quick, then get out. He walked over to the can and to his dismay saw it was empty.

"What do I do now?" he muttered soft to himself. He left the room in haste, deciding to go back to his own room to lay down. Dinner would be in a few hours, but he had a feeling he still wouldn't have an appetite even then. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, still trying, but failing, to remember what really happened. He got flashes of vines shifting, hurried breath, soft groans and the sound of tearing cloth. Nothing else would come to him, no matter how hard he tried. His head was aching by the time he fell asleep.