Confessions & Cigarettes

By the second day of their three day writing spree, Hiro was willing to set fire to the whole building of musicians and leave. It wasn't the constant noise. It wasn't the constant whining. It wasn't the constant attempts of suicide from the more high-strung artists. It was all of it. Hiro thought that hanging around Shuichi had made him immune to most drama, but his best friend was surprisingly mild compared to some of the people out there.

He did manage to drown it all out and do some productive composing by shutting himself up in a small studio and letting his fingers play. He brought Ryuichi's purple pick with him, and he found that despite the give, it played rather well. Hiro flexed his fingers and looked at the strange logo, feeling his head cleared a little.

"Planet Waves?"

He started, his hand closing around the pick. Tohma was standing in the doorway, looking neatly pressed in an olive suit with a ruffled purple shirt, his ever-present hat on his head. If he didn't know any better, Hiro would have sworn that Tohma had just stepped out of a business meeting instead of spending the last three hours in a studio with the rest of his band.

"I guess?" he replied, opening his hand and looking down at the pick. Now that Tohma had pointed it out, he could see that some of the letters had worn off from use.

"Ah, I see. I had thought you used a different brand, Nakano-san."

"I do, but this other guitarist said to try it out, so. . ." Hiro shrugged. He wasn't sure if Tohma would have approved of his knowing about Ryuichi's hobby.

"I see." Tohma stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, his eyes closed and a gentle smile on his face. Hiro clutched at his guitar, the pick digging into the palm of his hand as he waited. Tohma had that look on his face, and while Hiro never had been the one receiving it, he knew that some how, some way, he had messed up.

"I find it rather odd that this other guitarist told you to try it out when I know of only one person who uses that type of pick," Tohma said, opening his eyes and staring straight at him. "What kind of guitar does he play?"

"Tohma."

The door had opened again. Ryuichi stepped inside, closed the door shut and leaned against it, his arms crossed over his chest and blue eyes narrowed and pale against his face. Tohma turned, his voice feigning surprise. "Ah, Ryuichi, you did not have to follow me."

"Leave him alone."

"I did not know I was bothering Nakano-san."

Ryuichi looked over Tohma's shoulder at Hiro and he could almost swear he had winked before switching to English and saying something rapid and barely with the hint of an accent. Tohma sighed and said something back, his English marred with a slight accent. Hiro could only watch Ryuichi's expression, only managing to catch one word out of five with their rapid pace. But what he caught was enough for him to piece together why Tohma had become mad with him.

Hiro's cheeks flushed and he lowered his head, hoping the other two wouldn't notice it. They didn't and after a few minutes, their tone changed as Ryuichi relaxed against the door and Tohma sounded almost apologetic. Ryuichi stepped forward and tugged Tohma into a hug, resting his forehead against his and saying something softly. Tohma sighed and pulled away, murmuring something in reply and then he looked over his shoulder at Hiro, frowning.

"It seems I misjudged you, Nakano-san, he said, rubbing his forehead. "These last few days have been stressful for all of us, and I am afraid that even my judgment has suffered because of it."

From somewhere, Hiro managed to sound collected about seeing two legends fight like a couple normal guys. "It's okay. Everyone is stressed out about this concert."

"Do you know why this concert is so important?"

Hiro glanced over to Ryuichi. The singer was frowning, his long fingers toying with the edge of the tank top he was wearing. Outside of that, he didn't seem too stressed by the direction Tohma's question was going in, so Hiro looked back at Tohma and shook his head. Tohma smiled, looking less like a stern businessman and more like a boy with a big secret.

"We are having an international concert, Nakano-san," he said. "Next week, representatives from several countries will come here to coordinate their song lists with our song lists. At the end of this month, this concert will be broadcast all over the world for two whole days."

Hiro felt his eyes grow wide. A world-wide event. No wonder why Tohma was acting the way he was concerning the music. No wonder he was holding everyone prisoner in this place until he was certain they were doing their best. No, not their best. They had to be beyond their best.

"Thank you for telling me this," he said, swallowing at the sudden dryness in his mouth. First the argument over his spending time with Ryuichi and now this. It was enough to make him hide in a bathroom until this month was over.

"I am only telling you a day ahead of the rest of the bands," Tohma said. "The real announcement will happen tomorrow during the afternoon news."

Tohma glanced over at Ryuichi. The two men didn't say anything but Hiro had a feeling that there was some kind of warning and well-wishing going on between them. Then bowing goodbye, Tohma left the room, leaving Hiro in Ryuichi's company.

For a long moment, Hiro found himself looking at Ryuichi's scruffy sneakers, not sure at what to say now that he was alone with the singer. He knew what they were talking about during their argument, even if he only caught a half of what was said. Ryuichi liked him. How could Hiro respond to that? Shouldn't he try to defend his sexuality?

"You must have understood some of that, right?"

Hiro looked up. Ryuichi just looked amused, his hands behind his back and his blue eyes bright. Hiro felt his cheeks flush and he looked away, licking his lips. What should he say? Deny it? Tell him that he didn't swing that way even though he has had some very evil thoughts about yanking Ryuichi's low pants down and licking that tattoo he had spotted at the hotel?

"Hiro, relax."

"But. . ."

"You are awfully fond of that word. . ." Ryuichi sighed and left the door, coming over to him and squatting down. Hiro found himself looking down into bright blue eyes made brighter by makeup. "I said I like you, as in you're a neat guy to hang around with, not that I was going to take you to a love motel and screw you into the matress."

"You're not?" Hiro winced, his voice an octave higher than normal. Clearing his throat, he tried again. "You're not?"

"Why do you sound so disappointed?" Ryuichi replied, touching his thumb against his lower lip and winking. "Do you really want to go some place sleazy and have a little fun?"

"No. . ."

Ryuichi chuckled and leaned forward, some how managing to wiggle into his personal space. Hiro hugged his guitar tight against his chest, trying not to breathe deeply because he could smell Ryuichi - a mixture of sweat and cologne and the shampoo he used in his hair. Hiro's throat was parched and he tried not to move back because he knew he would fall over. And yet still Ryuichi was moving closer.

"Boo," Ryuichi whispered in his ear, and pulled away, sitting back on his hands and letting Hiro breathe again. "Seriously, what's wrong with you? You're always so tense around me. It's not like I bite."

"That wasn't funny," Hiro said, frowning and managing to get his voice back.

Ryuichi blinked and shrugged. "I thought it was. You act like you never had gay best friend."

"But you're not my gay best friend!" Did he just yell at Ryuichi? Hiro groaned and closed his eyes. What was wrong with him? He usually didn't things bother him as much as he let Ryuichi.

"So the only person that's allowed to mess with you is Shindou?"

Hiro paused before answering. Ryuichi didn't look or sound angry, but he couldn't tell. He didn't know the singer well enough to tell the subtle differences in his voice. All they have done was shared a room three times. It wasn't enough for him to understand just how far he could go before the singer would get serious.

"It's just. . . I really don't know you that well," Hiro said, running a hand through his hair. "And that was a bit. . . well, weird."

Ryuichi made a face and gave a snort, getting on to his feet and dusting off his rear. "Too American, you mean?"

"Yeah," Hiro replied, feeling a little giddy he gotten over that bump.

"Then just tell me," the singer replied. "Honestly, I wouldn't be offended if you told me I was acting too American."

Hiro blinked. That sounded far too simple for him to comprehend considering how swamped he had been feeling lately. Maybe he was over-reacting when it came to Ryuichi. He eased his grip on his guitar and took a deep breath. "Oh."

"So anyways, how would you like to go grab something to eat?"

"You mean we can sneak away? Wouldn't Tohma get mad?"

"Let me deal with Tohma. Besides, he's probably out getting some take out anyways."

In response, his stomach let out a loud gurgle, reminding Hiro that breakfast was a long time ago and only consisted of a couple rice crackers and a bowl of lukewarm miso. Biting his lower lip, Hiro got up and packed away his guitar. "I guess I do. Just let me drop off my gear at the room and then we can go."

"Okay. I'll meet you out front."

Ryuichi waved over his shoulder, going out the door. Hiro stayed where he was for a moment or two longer, taking the time to calm himself down from the past half hour. And then, he got up, picked up his guitar case and headed for the hotel.

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Author's notes: So now they are out of the hotel and things are starting to pick up, though at a very slow pace. Tohma also is sticking his nose in things and we see a little playful Ryuichi here as well. 'Planet Waves' are a type of pick that has a spiral cutout in the top of the pick, making them easier to hold on to underneath hot lights. Most guitar players have their own favorite brands to use and it is not unusual to see them order customized picks for either special occasions or for stage performances. Ryuichi uses a heavy gauge Duralin pick that he orders in purple while Hiro uses a standard thin Clayton pick in off-white, so it's not a big stretch of the imagination for someone to see the differences.
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