Alone In A Crowded Room

Matthew circled around his bed cautiously. For once in his life he drew a blank. He seriously didn’t know what to do. He wanted to kick Ivan off his bed… But he was pretty damn sure that it wouldn’t turn out in his favor. After all, Alfred wasn’t quite as strong as Ivan and Alfred kept accidentally hurting him…

Matthew drew closer to the Russian. He knew that he would never have enough courage to get this close when the other was awake. Ivan didn’t look quite as scary when he was sleeping. The off-putting smile was gone, and he actually looked… Kind of innocent.

Matthew knew that this was just his mind playing tricks on him. Ivan Braginski was a monster. Matthew had personally seen what he did to those weaker than him. He was just trying to make himself more comfortable around him. It wasn’t working…

Ivan’s breathing was deep. His hair looked soft, but because his hair was still slightly wet it stuck to his skin. Matthew had never dared look at Ivan up close. Matthew could feel his cheeks heat up… He could feel the warmth coming from Ivan’s skin.

This destroyed any thought that he was just imaging him there. Matthew didn’t know why he was so close to him… Why he couldn’t stop himself…

Matthew gasped loudly and fell backwards when those violet eyes snapped open. He tripped over his chair and hit his head on his desk. Matthew grasped at his head. At least he knew that he wasn’t bleeding, but it did hurt…

Ivan brought himself up slowly from the mattress, staring at Matthew like he was new prey. “Are you scared?” this was said in a thick Russian accent that sent chills down his spine.

Matthew looked to the ground unsure of how to answer him. His legs still hung loosely over the chair that Matthew laid victim to.

“I asked if you vere scared?” Ivan stood up and took a step closer to Matthew. Matthew looked up to see that Ivan was no longer smiling. This was a horrible sign.

Matthew pulled himself up. He was already regretting not playing dead. He was already praying that big brother would come and play hero. This wasn’t Matthew’s part to play.

“Why would I be afraid of you? I just tripped. It’s my room, I’m allowed to,” Matthew pushed his chair back underneath the desk. He couldn’t look at Ivan and say this. Ivan would know.

If Matthew had looked at the other, he would’ve seen Ivan’s head tilt slightly to the side. He would’ve seen his mouth open as if he was going to say something. He would’ve seen his brow furrow in thought.

“Then is, okay. Ve can start vork now, da?” he slapped Matthew’s back a little too hard. Matthew almost squeaked.

Matthew was in shock. He had stood up to Ivan Braginski. He was alive. He wasn’t going to the hospital. Maybe this was just a dream. Maybe he was really dying and he was merely imagining this better outcome…

If Matthew had died he would’ve hoped that he could be a little more creative than that. Maybe it was merely a reflection of how unremarkable he really was...

Matthew nearly squeaked again. Ivan leaned down and had given a hard look at Matthew. He was merely inches away from him.

“So… Uh… Where are your homework and your textbooks?” Matthew wasn’t a professional tutor by any stretch of the work.

Ivan looked up, “Didn’t bring. Is problem?” Matthew could barely hang on to his jaw…

“Um… I suppose we can just use mine. Well, probably Alfred’s…” Matthew noticed that Ivan didn’t seem very happy about the comparison.

Matthew started to try to find a way to comfort the Russian, but anything he came up with would be merely untruthful. So he settled on the little comfort that he was sure this would provide, “I’m in an advanced class. I don’t think studying mine would help you.”

Ivan lip twitched again, but at least he didn’t seem like he was going to strike the other. That was the only relief that Matthew managed to find.

Matthew chuckled nervously, “Well, I should probably go get Alfred’s anyway. I’ll be right back,” he furrowed his eyebrows in thought, “I guess you can, uh… Sit on my bed for now. We should probably move to the kitchen or something…”

“Do you not like me in your room?” Ivan’s voice was low, and Matthew could tell that the wrong answer could be his downfall…

“Uh…. That’s not it. I just figured we’d have more room to work in the kitchen. So we could sit down at the table. It’d be kind of weird to try to teach you on the edge of my bed, right?” Matthew had turned to face the door so Ivan couldn’t see how nervous he was. Matthew didn’t know that when it came to reading people, Ivan was clueless.

“Makes sense,” Matthew gave a sigh of relief when Ivan accepted this. Matthew frowned when he heard his bed groaning to support the large Russian’s movement.

Matthew walked extra slowly to his brother’s room. It seemed silly, but Matthew certainly wasn’t eager to return to his own room. His sacred haven… Has been desecrated… He nearly cried at the thought. He would’ve yelled at Alfred when he got home if he thought it would’ve made a difference.

He soon found Alfred’s bag dropped in the middle of the floor of his brother’s bedroom. Matthew sighed as he walked into the pit that was Alfred’s bedroom. He walked cautiously as if the room was going to eat his foot.

There was a mess of blanket crumpled in the middle of Alfred’s bed. A pair of boxer’s had found themselves on his lampshade, compromising the light in the room. But there was no way in hell Matthew was going to touch them. Several rock posters obstructed the wall space. Matthew nearly cried as he found his foot in an old piece of pizza.

Matthew peeled off his socks and threw them on his brother’s laundry basket. He stuck his hand in his brother’s bag to find his English book, only to immediately pull it out.

“What was that?” Matthew whined suddenly finding his hand wet. He gave a sigh of relief when he found that a bottle of water had merely spilled a little in his brother’s bag. He took said bottle out, secured the cap and left with his brother’s book. Alfred could clean up the bag on his own time. Now Matthew had to spend all his free time tutoring a Russian who would surely kill him, or at the very least maim him by the time this way over.

Matthew walked back to his own room, clutching the book. Maybe Ivan would just disappear if he walked slowly enough. Maybe he’d be asleep again and Matthew could just say, ‘I didn’t want to wake you up.’ Matthew sighed once more. He knew he wasn’t that lucky.

Matthew slowly opened his door. Ivan just kind of stared at him with a puzzled face, “Vhy open you door like that?”

Matthew nearly ‘eeped’ again, “Umm…. Alfred used to booby-trap the doors when we were younger. I guess the habit just kind of stuck.”

Ivan just muttered ‘oh’. It was then that Matthew realized. Ivan was really bad at noticing when people were lying to him. Matthew felt bad for a fraction of a second before he made a mental note to tell this to Toris later. Since he had to work at the Braginski’s house this might help him survive a little better.

Matthew motioned for Ivan to follow. Ivan slipped his shoes back on as they left, “I’ll take you to the kitchen. We can turn on the lights… Oh!,” Matthew turned around quickly, “Do you want something to drink?” Matthew felt bad for being so impolite.

Ivan paused for a moment, “Vodka?”

Matthew’s jaw just dropped, “E-excuse me? You’re still underage aren’t you? And if you plan to get drunk while I’m tutoring you, you might as well forget it!” Matthew’s voice got that trademark huff that it did whenever he was scolding Alfred, “Seriously…”

It was then that Matthew remembered that it wasn’t Alfred that he had been scolding. He steadied his will to look at the much taller Russian. Ivan just kind of had an amused look on his face. Definitely not what Matthew had expected.

“W-what?” Matthew felt his cheeks getting warmer by each passing second as Ivan Braginski just stared him down.

“That,” he paused, “Vas cute.”

Matthew then proceeded to choke on air, “E-excuse me?”

Ivan lips pursed slightly, “You say that a lot.” He said this slowly, pronouncing every word cautiously. Matthew wasn’t concentrating well enough to realize it was because Ivan wanted him to be able to understand him. Truly the mark of someone who had not yet mastered the language.

“I-I guess you’re right,” Matthew’s brain was only functioning at half power due to shock. Maybe Ivan didn’t get what he just said. Matthew was many things. Invisible, smart, quiet, shy, an easy mark and of course Alfred’s baby brother. Cute was not on that list.

Matthew made a beeline to the kitchen table and nearly slammed the book down. Ivan sat down at the place behind the book. Matthew rummaged through the fridge and clumsily retrieved what he was looking for.

“Here,” Matthew slammed a can of Pepsi down in front of Ivan, his cheeks still red from embarrassment, “You can drink this if you want. If you want to drink Vodka, please do it on your own time and when you will not be required to drive anywhere.”

Matthew might be shy, but above all other labels he was responsible. No matter how scared of Ivan he was he wasn’t going to violate any law. Not that it mattered. There wasn’t any Vodka in the house. Their father drank whiskey.

Matthew settled down at the seat next to Ivan and opened his pop. He took a long sip, deciding that this was no doubt the most stressful night of his life.

Matthew stiffened when he felt Ivan’s hand at the back of his chair. He never dreamed that Ivan moved that quickly. Though he never did pay attention to the games. He nearly squeaked when he felt the entire world around him shift. Of course it wasn’t the world around him shifting it was his chair that Ivan was dragging closer to him.

“Cannot tutor vith you that far, da?” Ivan merely breathed this into Matthew neck causing him to shiver.

“I guess you have a point,” Matthew chuckled nervously. He rubbed his neck as if that could make him forget that tingling feeling from moments before.

Matthew jumped out of his chair when the kitchen door slammed open, “Do not worry! Your hero has returned!”

Matthew nearly died from embarrassment as his brother looked at him. And then he looked at Ivan. And back to Matthew. Then once more at Ivan.

“Dude…” Alfred paused, “What’s with all the looks?” Alfred asked cluelessly and for once Matthew was actually thankful of that.

Thanks to Alfred’s interference and his looming over the table for the next hour, Matthew actually felt comfortable. Now he felt uncomfortable alone with Ivan. In a completely different way than he did before. Now not only was there fear, but there was the memory of his breath on his neck. Matthew blamed the fact that he was social outcast that he was over thinking this brief moment.

Then they heard the front door open, “Whoops!” Alfred exclaimed a little too loudly, “You need to go man,” he rested his hand on Ivan’s shoulder, “Mom will have a cow if she finds out we brought someone home without asking…. I totally forgot to call her,” Alfred sheepishly scratched his cheek, “Oh well, walk Ivan out will ya?” Alfred looked at Matthew when he said this.

“Uh, yeah sure. No problem,” Matthew muttered, unsure of what else he was supposed to say. He gestured to Ivan, as they both left through the backdoor.

Matthew trudged through the backyard barefoot. He tried to remember exactly why he liked this feeling when he was a kid. He figured that Ivan parked where Alfred’s friends normally parked.

He was right, but this was much cooler than Alfred’s other friend’s cars. Matthew shyly ran his fingers against the smooth surface, as if he might get scolded. Ivan merely looked at him curiously.

“You can ride sometime,” Ivan’s tone was more awkward than the phrasing. Matthew wanted to smack himself when he realized that he had just thought that Ivan was cute.

“Really?” Matthew sounded hopeful, even though he realized that Ivan wouldn’t remember the offer by tomorrow, “That’d be cool.”

Ivan’s smile seemed a little more genuine. It seemed that little Alfred wasn’t afraid of him either. What an odd family.

A gear seemed to turn in Ivan’s head, “Da!” he exclaimed rather loudly, and then looked to Matthew with an innocent look on his face, “Vhat is your name?”

Matthew’s face was turned down and it slowly cranked up, his face a bright shade of scarlet, “Y-you’ve…. Been talking to me all day…. And you can’t even be bothered… To remember my name?”

The world fell right back into place as Matthew ran back up to the house. Of course! The first time he had bothered talking to a human being that wasn’t related to him… And he forgot his name. Matthew ran right back into the house and slammed onto his bed. He gave a heavy sigh. That was alright. He was meant to be forgotten. Matthew slammed his fist angrily on his bed. Now his bed smells like that jerk…


A/N: Sorry it’s been so long. I could give you an excuse, but that’s not really what you’re interested in I’m sure. I hate Ivan’s grammar. It frikken kills me. Oh, wells. He really does need Matty’s help. And poor Matt. Can’t catch a break. Silly Ivan, Vodka isn’t for teenagers.

Jeazard: I know, I know. It’s sad. Now we should all hug Ivan until he feels better. And give him plenty of fresh sunflowers and vodka.

MyBloodWontClot: I know. Boys and their toys… XD Don’t worry! Natalia in all her terrifying glory will be in the next chapter.

Queen_Celestia: Thankies. Sometimes spellcheck is broken. >>