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Those What Ifs	By : humdrum07 Category: +M to R > Ranma ½ Views: 4703 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma or its characters, nor do I make any money from this story

Chapter List
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“Wake up...”

“...Squee...”

“Wake up...” a hand came out to flick the black piglet's ear hoping to wake it up, but to no avail.

“...Bwee... weee.... squee...”

The masculine voice sighed in exasperation, “Wake the fuck up you little squealing bastard!”

“Ranma!” Akane entered the living room and started stomping toward him. “Why are you talking to you--” she looked down at the couch where the small black piglet was curled on top of a cushion, squealing lightly. “Oh a piglet!” She reached toward the pig, effectively waking it up, and cradled him to her bosom. “Oh, what are you doing here little piggy did Ranma hurt widdle ole you?”

Ranko ran out of the kitchen once she heard the commotion in the living room and snatched the piglet from Akane, apologizing with a bow. “S-sorry Akane, m-meet my um... pet pig.”

“Oh... he's your pet?” she smiled sweetly as her hand reached out to tickle his snout. “Darn... I would have wanted a pet pig. What's his name?”

“Um... P... Chan?”

“Umpi-chan?”

“No, just P-chan.”

“Cute name...”

“Breakfast is ready!” Kasumi smiled as she placed a large plate of food in the center of the table. “Dig in!”

“Um... I already ate this morning. I have something to uh... do,” she grabbed P-chan and headed to the laundry room to get his clothes.

“This morning?” Akane asked.

“Oh, forgot, she wakes up at insane hours like most nerds do,” Ranma shrugged and started eating his breakfast.

“It's not nice to call your sister a nerd,” Akane said, not looking at him, but focusing on her food instead.

“Whatever... she likes it. She was the top student at her last all girl's school.”

“She went to an all girl's school?”

“Yeah... pops thought that her being around other girls would make her girly... how wrong he was. She ended up teaching the girls martial arts as I was teaching her.”

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“In goes one piglet and...” Ranko sang as she dropped P-chan into the furo. “Out comes a human!” Ranko giggled at Ryoga's rather ticked off expression.

“Why'd you snatch me away from her?”

“Who... Akane?” she asked, pushing Ryoga's clothes toward him. “What if she started treating you like a pet? Wouldn't she hate you once she found out that you were using your cursed form to get even closer to her?”

“Th-that's not my intention and you know it...” he motioned for her to turn around, only getting out of the furo once he was sure she wouldn't be able to see him naked... not that she hadn't before though.

“I know that, but Akane tends to jump to conclusions and that would be the first thing she'd think,” she raised her face up in the air and closed her eyes in annoyance, “Honestly, you should know that by now Ryoga. Seeing as you like her so much,” and with that she exited the inner bath.

Ryoga growled in confusion. First she was so cheerful and now it seemed like she was angry at him. “Girls.”

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“Has the pork landed?” Ranma whispered to her once she returned to the family room. He noticed that her jeans had splash marks on them.

“What?”

“The pork... has it landed? Over.”

“What the fuck?” Ranko glared at her brother, trying to figure out what he was saying. The pork... landing? What the fuck did that mean?

“Hmm... Miss Nerd is angry.”

“Shut it, Ranma!” she punched him in the arm as hard as she could, which was pretty hard. “What is this fucking pork nonsense?”

“For someone so smart you sure are dumb...” he spat while rubbing his arm. She motioned to hit him again, “The pork... your pet.”

“Oh...” she thought for a second and wondered if he was asking her if P-chan was now Ryoga in code. “You need to work on your code. I don't know why mom even bought you those stupid spy walkies.”

“Obviously it worked on you. You didn't even know what the fuck I was talking about!”

“If you two are done spouting nonsense, school starts in half an hour. Look at you both... you're not even dressed,” Akane glared at Ranma who was in his pajamas – a white tanktop and yellow and blue shorts. Although she wouldn't admit it out loud, she did think he looked good.

“Good um... morning,” came the sheepish greeting from the hallway.

“Oh, Ryoga... what are you doing here?

Ryoga brushed his hand through his slightly damp hair, looking for an excuse as to why he was in the Tendo household after he had declined Akane's offer the spend the night. “Um...”

“I asked him to spend the night since it was late... hope that was okay.”

Akane grinned, “Sure... I'm just wondering where he slept is all.”

“What... geez Akane, I guess my bro isn't the only pervert here,” she mumbled while walking past Ryoga and up the steps to get ready for school.

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The four teens walked down the streets of Furinkan, Nerima; occasionally waving at the pedestrians and shop owners that met them along the way to school. They walked in a somewhat diamond formation with Akane in front, Ranma in back, and Ranko close to Ryoga in the middle – just so he wouldn't get lost.

“So... I'm really craving pork tonight. Think Kasumi can make it?” Ranma rubbed his stomach and snickered as Ryoga stopped walking.

Ranko shot him a look then reassured Ryoga by placing a soft hand on his arm, “Ranma didn't mean it.”

“What? Why would Ryoga care?” Now Akane was looking back at the three teens; her eyebrow raised in question.

“Oh... um... Ryoga's allergic to pork,” Ranko started. “I thought you knew... being his best friend and all,” she finished with an ounce of bitterness that seemed to be lost on Akane and Ryoga, but Ranma could clearly detect it.

“Oh, but there was pork in that beef stew last night,” Akane replied.

'Darn, I forgot about that!' “Yes but... he was on his pills... allergy pills.”

“Oh... okay then,” the four continued on their way and Ryoga let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't let Akane know about his curse just yet.

“Aiyaa!” a purple haired girl jumped out of nowhere, landing in front of them. She was dressed in fitted light pink and red Chinese clothing, with red shoes, and slightly baggy pink pants. “You... girl with pig tail!” she pointed one of the two dao she held in both hands at Ranko.

“Aah!” she screamed. She should have been ashamed to be afraid of this girl, but Shampoo gave her the creeps. It had to do with the way she calmly gave her brother the Kiss of Death when he –along with her father – stupidly ate her prize banquet and subsequently defeated her.

Using the little Mandarin she knew from studying various languages in school, she tried to diffuse the situation, but only resulted in further insulting Shampoo and a whole lot of pissed Amazons. Not only did she insult them, but Shampoo was under the impression that she was the one who defeated her despite the fact that she was wearing glasses at the time.

“You...” Shampoo stood up tall, looking down at the teens before her. “Remember Shampoo?”

“Shampoo? What kind of name is that?” Akane wondered out loud.

“Shut mouth ugly girl... fight with pigtail one!” she yelled.

“Ugly girl?” Akane glared at the mean girl wanting so badly to bash her face in, but she knew better as a martial artist than to but into affairs that didn't pertain to her.

“You me... fight!” Shampoo jumped onto the fence and then somersaulted down, unleashing her dao to the frightened girl.

“What the hell, I didn't...” she dodged as Shampoo landed just inches away from where Ranko used to be. “I didn't defeat you...”

“You too funny... but not funny when Shampoo win... and you dead,” she pushed off of the pavement aiming her dao at Ranko.

“Will you listen, bitch!” another forward slash and Ranko dodged expertly, jumping away with a handstand that briefly gave her a Marilyn Monroe moment – as she was wearing her Furinkan girl's uniform – until she landed on the sidewalk.

“Shampoo no female dog... you female dog!”

Ranma looked at the fight before him. Ranko seemed to be doing exceptionally well dodging the crazy girl's slashes, but he couldn't help but wonder how long until his precious sister was hurt because of something he did.

“Bitch, I'm gonna be late for school!” Ranko jumped back and kicked off the side of a building and kicked Shampoo in the chest, making her stagger on her feet and fall toward the fence. “Let's run!” Ranko grabbed Ryoga's hand, knowing that he would get lost since Akane had mentioned his horrible sense of direction. Strangely enough, he didn't complain and just continued to run along with Akane, Ranko, and Ranma. Shampoo was too dazed at the moment, from hitting her head on the fence, to catch up with them immediately.

“La la la... such a beautiful day... la la la... throw the old water away!” sang an elderly lady from her third story window. In her hands was a wooden bucket full of day old bath water. “Out you go water!” she just so happened to throw the water out as Ranma was running past.

“Aah... fuck you water lady!” Ranma yelled shrilly.

“Nice day to you too, sweet girl!” she waved and disappeared into her apartment.

Yay, Shampoo has made her appearance. I don't really remember much of her debut in the manga and sadly I don't have that one with me anymore. So details will be off and some may be omitted in favor of shortening this fic, but the general idea will be there.

Next up, Mousse... maybe.
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Those What Ifs