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We're Crazy (RussCan)	By : socksnbacon Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1171 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or it's respective characters, all credit to Himaruya Hidekazu. No profit was made with this story.

Chapter List
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"Is it Stockholm Syndrome?" He heard a voice on the other side of the door ask, no matter how hushed it was Matthew could still hear it.

"No, that's not possible, I mean, he only sat on the boy." And that was Arthur, insisting on calling he and Alfred children rather than accepting they were only a few years apart.

Matthew had woken up to the sound of Ivan quietly trying to tell Arthur, the less quiet of the two, that Matthew was sleeping and needed his rest, to which Arthur replied (yelled) "What the hell is he doing in here?!" Figured the one time someone noticed him it would be when he was breaking the "Do not leave your room after bed" rule.

Matthew had never been in solitary before, but the walk to the room at the end of the hallway was an interesting one, including Alfred declaring they charge on the Russian front which had clearly taken his brother hostage and Gilbert attempting to "rally the troops". His walk of shame had been more like a walk of extreme embarrassment, why did everything have to be so dramatic?

The solitary room itself was just a small square room, only wide enough to fit a twin bed and only long enough to take one stride across to get to said bed. The door, which he was always so sure kept sound out as well as in, clearly did no such job. As he sat on the bed, legs hanging off the side and staring at the aforementioned door, he listened to a hushed voice he couldn't place and Arthur arguing back and forth.

Matthew frowned, slid backwards until his back hit wall, and pulled his knees up to his chest. This voice was not his regular therapist Francis, and this voice was not one he could identify however much he tried. Said voice was trying to make it out to seem as if Ivan had tricked him in some way to go into his room. "Surely there will be some sort of emotional or, heaven forbid, physical mark." The voice insisted, Matthew lazily looked at his unclothed arms and shrugged when he found no such mark. He heard a sigh.

"No, I'm sure the boy didn't realise how much danger he was putting himself in, he does things like this often you see." Arthur replied, for once fighting on his side instead of ignoring him completely, "He had been complaining about feeling run down last night, I do suppose he may even have been sleep walking." To this Matthew snorted, and the voices outside the door silenced momentarily.

Matthew had known the "danger", quite like the danger of walking into the cage of a sedated polar bear. Sure the bear could wake up at any second, but it would have been slow and clumsy. Matthew didn't really see the danger there. Said bear had rolled over and gone to sleep without a sound.

After a few moments of silence Arthur unlocked and pushed the door open, there was a man he'd never seen before standing behind him.

"Matthew, we'd like to talk to you for a moment." Arthur stated, Matthew wondered if whether he said "No" or not would change the situation. This door, Matthew suddenly noticed, didn't have a knob on his side, and didn't really appear to have one on the other either, it was simply locked by a few large latches. When his gaze returned to Arthur he realised he hadn't answered yet, and comically Arthur was still standing there, so Matthew shrugged.

Having all three of them in the room was rather interesting; Matthew curled up on the bed and the two men taking up most of the rest of the space in the room. There would be no way for anyone else to enter or exit without cooperation. The other man lent on the door, holding it closed because it swung open on its own when unlocked… Having a door which opened into such a small room must have been a design flaw.

Finally Arthur cleared his throat and spoke, "Matthew, we need to know the reason you went into Ivan's room." As he spoke Arthur made eye contact with Matthew as if to prove the importance of his words, yet Matthew took his time answering. For a moment he watched the wall, and then the blanket he was picking at idly with one hand, then he listened to the man by the door shuffling slightly and Arthur saying, "You read his file" as quietly as he could in the room where noises bounced off of the walls like rubber balls.

"He seemed lonely to me," Matthew turned to look at Arthur, "Doesn't he seem lonely to you?" He asked, watching the emotions flicker over Arthur's face, pity, confusion, and then back to the normal "I'm an English Gentleman" expression.

"Well, no Matthew, not really. Ivan is very, very, unstable, and we need to watch him with other patients at all times, he's not allowed to have a room mate." Arthur explained, his voice traitorously soothing for how it could so easily swing to the other end of the spectrum without thought. The other man pulled out a clipboard.

"Was there any other reason you went into his room? Did he-"

"He didn't trick me." Matthew interrupted, and then dropped his gaze to his lap, "Sorry." The room was silent except for the sound of a pen on paper, "I went in there on my own, he told me that I might get in trouble and I didn't listen, so please don't get him in trouble, he didn't do anything wrong." When he looked up again the man at the door looked sceptical and Arthur was simply sighing and shaking his head.

"Very well lad," Arthur said and, despite the man's momentary protest, turned around to motion him to open the door. There was a moment of awkward struggle, and then Arthur turned around to motion for Matthew to follow him, "I understand you were just trying to help, but you cannot do it again or we'll have to put a restriction up for you, do you understand?"

Matthew watched Arthur, not sure if he wanted to get off of the bed or not, but then pushed himself off of the bed and steadily onto his feet. He nodded, feeling an odd mixture of guilt and frustration with the whole situation.

"Now come down to breakfast." Arthur added, as Matthew passed him. He heard the door shut and the latches lock.
-

The breakfast table was mostly quiet until Matthew reached the table, noting momentarily that Kiku was not there probably because the morning ruckus had scared him under his bed or something.

"Hey! It's the war hero!" Alfred piped up, as Matthew sat down beside him with a sigh. The slightest shake of his head was not enough to deter Alfred from whatever he'd decided to tell the others around the table, his brother addressed Gilbert, "I bet you'd never do that." Gilbert made an indignant sound, something like a quack and a growl.

"Look, obviously I'm not crazy enough to do something like that!" Gilbert exclaimed, earning a newspaper to the back of the head as Ludwig came down to breakfast. Gilbert turned around to have a loud German argument with his younger brother.

A short glance up and down the table told Matthew one thing, Ivan was not at breakfast. "Uhm," Matthew turned to Feliks, who was seated beside him today, "Where's Ivan?" Feliks, who had been fishing for only specific letters in his alphabets cereal and had currently spelt out "Wa- is you- cap-" on his napkin on his tray, looked up and through him for a moment.

"He's like… In trouble or something right?" Feliks asked, immediately turning away from in and looking to Yan Huo for reassurance. The stoic Asian shrugged slightly and then went back to his own cereal breakfast.

"Detention." Heracles added, sitting on the opposite side of the table from the three of them.

"But he didn't do anything." Matthew argued softly, looking down at his untouched breakfast and standing from the table before he had to hear anymore. He hadn't meant to get Ivan in trouble.

-

As Matthew stepped off of the elevator from the basement Toris was just settling his stuff in on the nurse's station. He was reading a piece of paper, and sipping at a cup of coffee. Matthew watched for a moment, watching as the man's expression turned from confusion to slight disappointment.

Quietly as possible Matthew slunk down the hallway and to his own room, not wanting to have to deal with anyone else and not quite having the courage to go and try to apologise to Ivan so soon. In silence he changed his clothes and then went out to the lounge to curl up in a chair and feel sorry for himself.

The fact that no one bothered him, even for group, was a little surprising. Perhaps they thought he was reflecting on his actions, or perhaps they'd forgotten he was there after the morning's fiasco, but even as the other patients sat down for freetime everyone didn't notice him on the chair.

With a soft sigh Matthew removed himself from the chair he'd taken up residence in much earlier that day.

Having completely resigned himself to going to bed and staying there for the rest of the day, Matthew was both surprised and a little scared when he found himself suddenly coming to the decision that he needed to see Ivan before the day was out. If the rest of the ward was too busy to even notice his presence Matthew didn't care about the threat of a restriction.

Softly he knocked on the door to Ivan's room, but there was no answer. Matthew frowned and stared at the door wondering if Ivan was in some other room. Against his better judgement he pushed the door open without knocking again to see if the man just hadn't heard him.

The result was, as soon as he closed the door, being forced against the door with such force he was surprised his head hadn't cracked open.

Ivan snapped something which sounded like garbled and panicked Russian that Matthew couldn't translate, and for a moment Matthew thought that he was in bigger trouble than he'd expected. Upon closer, yet slightly terrified, inspection, Ivan's eyes were slightly unfocused and he looked more scared than Matthew felt. The hands which had forced his shoulders against the door were shaking. The man was panting as if he had just fought a very long battle.

"I-Ivan." Matthew squeeked, for his chest was also being forced back by the sheer weight of Ivan's chest against his. There was a blink, another blink, the eyes looked more focused and the hands on his shoulders released a bit.

"Matvei…" Ivan muttered, his face darkening slightly as he gave Matthew a one over as if he was checking if he was really there or not.

As quick as the force had been on him it was gone to the other side of the room as Ivan turned his back on him and approached the bed Matthew had been sleeping on.

"Open the door." Ivan muttered, tugging at the back of his hair like it was bothering him.

"Ivan I-" His would be rushed apology was interrupted.

"Open the door." Ivan insisted, his voice edging on dangerous. Matthew pulled the door open and almost moved to leave when Ivan turned around again. This time he was pulling on his scarf insistently. It was like the man couldn't keep his fingers still. "If I do something, you will scream, and you will be safe." Ivan explained softly, stepping backwards and leaning on the bed slightly. Matthew frowned and took a few steps forward only to have Ivan throw up a hand to stop him.

"But…" Matthew felt his whole body slump slightly in confusion and disappointment. Ivan smiled, his eyes wider than usual with childish fear, and motioned for Matthew to sit on his bed rather than approach the bed Matthew had slept on the night before.

"These rooms, they are incredible for keeping noise in and out." Ivan explained shakily, turning to run his hand over the wall at the head of the bed, from where Matthew was he could see Ivan's hand shaking too.

"I'm sorry." Matthew finally managed, watching Ivan turn to him, confusion at the apology quickly turning to amusement.

"This is a strange thing to apologise for Matvei, I should like to keep noise in and out, da?" Either Ivan was mocking him, or he really had no idea what Matthew had apologised for.

"You got in trouble this morning because of me right?" Matthew asked, watching Ivan slowly understand what he was saying. Something about the man was almost manic today, like the slightest misstep would break an entire dam of water on to him. Perhaps it had been a good idea to keep the room open.

"Nyet," A heavy sigh and then Ivan turning his head to stare out the window over his shoulder, "There was no trouble, I am surprised that the British man was even able to enter my room this morning," A giggle that was high like a child's, "The night was warmer than usual, I should have expected a very cold day." Matthew sighed and shook his head slightly, turning to stare at his lap.

"You're very cryptic." Matthew admitted softly. He had chosen to pretend not to notice that Ivan didn't know Arthur's name. There was a shift on the bed Ivan was on, then a silence that fell heavier than the ones they had previously shared. It only took a few minutes for the silence to be broken though, by a soft whispering. Matthew looked up at Ivan out of the corner of his eye and then turned to watch him.

Ivan's eyes had gone slightly unfocused again, and the man was scratching at whatever was under his scarf, he was also muttering to himself in Russian.

"Ivan?" Matthew asked, for which he received the slightest of glances up at him (through him) and then back at the nothingness beside Ivan that he was currently staring at.

Matthew was very good at listening to his judgement, and then ignoring it completely in favour of doing something else.

Moving as slowly as he could, like he was afraid of spooking a deer, he slipped onto the ground again and slowly approached Ivan. As he came to about half a metre of Ivan's knees he realised what Ivan was scratching at beneath his scarf. The slight glimpse of thick crisscrossing scars, which were currently red, puckered and bleeding in some places, caused Matthew to gasp slightly in shock.

Suddenly, with agility and accuracy Matthew hadn't expected him to have, Ivan snatched up his wrist and pulled him forward so that their faces were mere centimetres apart.

"Did you see?" Ivan asked, with a voice that was, but was not his, and a grin which was definitely not a grin.

"Ivan I-" Matthew started, but Ivan twisted Matthew's wrist in his grip and then grabbed Matthew's other shoulder and squeezed that too.

"They are like necklace." Ivan said, and giggled sharply. Ivan squeezed his shoulder harder, and continued to twist his wrist, "Did you? Did you see?" He asked.

"Ivan," Matthew muttered, shakily holding the man's stare, "Ivan you're bleeding." The slight surprise on Ivan's face, and the slight decrease of pressure on Matthew's hand and shoulder made it much easier for him to squirm out of his grip and then race out of the room.
-

For a moment, the first moment that day, Ivan's mind was clear as a cloudless sky and sharp as a needle. He pulled his hand into fists, trying to resist the urge to scratch his throbbing neck and piece together exactly what had just happened.

The only thing he remembered clearly was Matthew saying he was bleeding, and a slight glance under his nails revealed that much to him.

It was unmistakable in his mind that he'd terrified Matthew, who had fled the room as if he had a fire at his backside. Ivan sat in silence feeling sorry for himself, except for the lack of voices whispering in his ears, and finding himself scratching at his neck again. He sighed softly, wondering why he actually cared whether or not Matthew had run away from him. Everyone else did so, it didn’t matter that much.

"Stop that." Came an oddly forceful voice from the door. Upon actually looked up Ivan felt a smile come to his face, the one which annoyingly cropped up whenever the boy was around.

"Matvei?" Ivan asked softly, to which Matthew replied by entering the room and popping the first aid kit on his bed.

"Arthur handed this to me way easier than I thought he would." Matthew explained softly, his force all gone and replaced by that usual slightly timid voice.

"You… Did not leave?" Ivan asked, wondering if his mind had gone back to playing tricks on him again. Matthew glanced up at him for a moment, a look of hurt on his face, before turning back to the kit.

"Take off your scarf." Matthew was standing next to him a moment later with bandages and antiseptic. Thinking that Matthew was going to make a move for his scarf, Ivan took hold of both ends and pulled them to his chest, trying to hide each hand under the other.

"Nyet." Ivan replied, watching as Matthew looked at him sceptically for a moment and then as his expression softened to a slight shy smile.

"I already saw them, right?" Matthew asked, tilting his head slightly and causing his little hair curl to bob slightly.

"Nyet." Ivan replied again, childishly as it sounded, "I will not be taking my scarf off, and you will not be making me." Matthew reached forward, Ivan winced slightly, ready to lash out if the Canadian made a move for is scarf, but the hand fell lightly on his shoulder and squeezed gently.

"Of course I wouldn't make you, why would I make you?" Matthew asked softly, as Ivan looked over the man who was not shaking at the sight of him or trembling at touching him and did not look the least bit worse for wear for whatever had happened moments before.

"You bring this," He nodded to the kit's contents on the bed beside him, "Yet you say you will not be making me remove my scarf, how will I trust this?" Ivan asked, to which Matthew simply shrugged.

"I'll wait." And he did. It must have taken a long time, because by the time Ivan had unwound the scarf once Matthew was sitting on the bed, his hand dangerously close to Ivan's side yet never moving closer. When he looked for a reaction Matthew was smiling, he'd expected exasperation, he'd expected… Something different.

Slowly he unwound it the second, third, fourth, and then remaining few times it required to get the thing off of him. He heard a sharp intake of breath to his side and held the scarf tightly in his hands on his lap.

"Ivan…" Matthew gasped softly, to which Ivan replied by glowering down at his scarf. He heard Matthew stand up beside him, and then allowed the man to move his chin from side to side as he looked at the winding scars. He twisted the scarf in his lap, unsure if he wanted to look up at the look he expected on Matthew's face. He expected disgust, and he expected Matthew would rush off to tell everyone else.

But when the inspection ceased, instead of hearing Matthew turn to leave, he heard a rustling of paper to his left, and then felt the sting which quickly grew into a burn like no other on the side of his neck. He recoiled, lashing out to grab Matthew's arm.

"Blyad!" He half hissed half yelped. When the burning had ebbed away he turned with slight self-reproach to make eye contact with Matthew, who looked slightly shocked. "Matvei…" Ivan started, afraid Matthew would leave now, yet watching as Matthew's shock turned into a kind smile.

"You're better than my brother, he punched me in the eye last time I used this stuff on him." Matthew explained, and Ivan had to over ride the slight urge to go into the lounge and punch Matthew's brother right back.

"This, perhaps, should be done while I am sedated?" Ivan offered, to which Matthew looked a bit hurt and then shook his head.

"I wouldn't do that to you." Matthew defended, then glanced around the room as if looking for something. After a moment he set his alcohol pad aside and started pulling off his jacket. Ivan frowned, confused at this strange and sudden action. As the sleeve of the jacket was offered to him (After he was done untangling a hand from his scarf) Ivan looked at it, and then up at Matthew with confusion. "I was going to offer you bite down on your scarf," Apparently the look on Ivan's face as he said this made Matthew nervous because he trailed off and chuckled awkwardly, "But I figured you can bite on that instead, and swear away."

Ivan shook his head slightly, "Matvei I will bite through this." He protested.

"Fold it, and I don't care." Matthew replied. Despite how silly it would look, Ivan was more afraid that Matthew had picked up the alcohol and cloth again, so he did as he was told.

The next few minutes felt like eons, as he swore and hissed, yanked at the jacket on his lap, and definitely chewed a few holes in the poor garment. Matthew was either doing a very very good job of disinfecting his neck or instating some sort of cruel punishment.

"There." Matthew finally muttered, Ivan heard a lid screw on, but didn't dare move. He flinched when he felt a hand on his face, and opened his eyes only wide enough to notice the concern on Matthew's face before he opened them completely, "You did well." Matthew whispered encouragingly, correctly interpreting that Ivan was very on edge and tugging on the sleeve of his jacket slightly to which Ivan replied by dropping the sleeve like a dog and then looking away with slight guilt.

To his surprise Matthew simply pulled the jacket off of Ivan's lap and dropped it on the floor without investigating the damage Ivan had done to it. Gently Matthew took hold of his left hand, swiping the last cloth he'd used on Ivan's neck over each of his fingers as he tried to get the nails clean. Ivan allowed him to do so, ignoring how Matthew glanced up at him as he realised Ivan was shaking.

The rest of the work was done in silence, Matthew wrapped his neck without making it so tight that Ivan felt he could not breathe despite the panic having something around his neck other than his scarf caused him. As soon as Matthew returned to the first aid kit the scarf was around his neck again. He ignored, once more, how Matthew glanced over at him.

Now Ivan expected questions, asking what had happened to him, why he had tried to scratch the scars raw, or he expected ridicule for putting the scarf back on. When Matthew turned around to face him again, closing the first aid kit with a clunk as it locked shut again, Ivan let his gaze fall down to his crossed legs on the bed. He heard Matthew approach the bed again.

"This," Matthew started, "This is usually where I kiss where ever Alfred's hurt better." When Ivan looked up at Matthew the Canadian was standing between the triangle his crossed legs caused, smiling yet looking a bit nervous and unsure of what to do, "But, I can't be kissing… Anyways, are you feeling any better?" The colour which rose on the boy's cheeks was endearing, Ivan felt himself reach forward with one hand and brush his thumb over the red. Red which wasn't blood was pleasant, he decided. Matthew didn't flinch at his touch.

With his other hand Ivan reached forward as well, though this time he was pretty sure his body was acting in spite of him. In a single movement his legs unfolded, and his arms wrapped around Matthew and pulled him forward so that he was half on the bed and surely standing on his tip toes. One arm had gone around Matthew's shoulders, the other around his chest and under his arms. He took a deep breath, his nose nestling in Matthew's hair.

Matthew was going to push him away, there was no doubt, but Ivan needed this. He was confused as to why Matthew even bothered with him, why he hadn't just closed the door behind him the first night he'd snuck into Ivan's room and never come back.

He felt movement, and whispered, "Matvei…" In the most desperate voice he'd ever used. It sounded foreign to him. He released his hold slightly, willing to allow Matthew to pull out of his grip and run away, but was surprised when he felt first a knee shift up onto the bed, and then arms encircle his shoulders. A hand came up to run through the hair at the back of his neck.

This was definitely not running away, Ivan was confused once more.

"It's okay." Matthew whispered, "I don't know what happened, but… But it's okay." And Ivan felt himself begin to shake for a reason other than he was scared, and buried his nose further into Matthew's hair.

-

Arthur sighed, his back pressed against the wall beside Ivan's door. He couldn't let Matthew be in Ivan's room without supervision, but something had told him exactly what was going to happen several hours earlier.

He shrugged slightly and heaved himself off of the wall before heading back towards the nurse's station, he figured five or ten minutes alone wouldn't hurt.
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We're Crazy (RussCan)