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Oh My Alucard	By : Fish_and_Chips Category: Hellsing > Het - Male/Female Views: 5648 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: No profit is being made with this story and I do not own Hellsing, it belongs to Kouta Hirano

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Vampires for Dummies

"No."

"What was that?"

"No. I won't take the money."

Integra smirked. "Are you sure? You won't even take fifteen, ten million?"

Ruby's heart was hammering furiously as she ogled the briefcase. "N-No, not even a penny." She was tempted, but quickly shook her head to rid of such impure thoughts. "I'm…I'm not that kind of person. I won't take the money, and I won't tell anyone about vampires or Hellsing; you have my word." A long silence befell the room following her statement. Had she done the right thing? And why was everyone staring at her like that?

"…Very well." Integra took off her glasses and wiped the lens with a small cloth from her pocket, "I respect your decision, and you seem like a sensible young woman."

Ruby's jaw dropped slightly. I just refused 20 million. I may be sensible but I'm not NORMAL!

"You may show Miss Ashcroft the exit, Walter."

"Yes, Sir Integra," The butler complied, before he gestured for Ruby. Once he opened the door, a figure bumbled in and tripped over the rug, much like how Ruby did before. Walter stared down at the girl, as she fell over on her front with a 'kyaaa' and then meekly looked up with a tiny, awkward grin.

While Ruby was taken by surprise, everyone else looked…well, as if they had expected something like this would happen.

"S-Sorry!" The girl in the mustard yellow-striped uniform and stockings gathered herself back up and Ruby realised it was the big-chested girl (unfortunately that was the only thing she could remember her by) from the hospital who had saved her. "I-I-I wasn't listening! Um…carry on."

Without another word she quickly made a move to leave until Integra stopped her. "Just a minute, Seras." She said, "Why don't you show Miss Ashcroft to the exit? Walter, get the car prepared."

While the butler nodded, the blonde girl stood back up straight with a stern expression on her face and saluted. "…Yes, Sir Integra." She marched back out the doorway promptly.

Ruby followed the two out; Walter headed off to the left while the blonde girl motioned for Ruby to follow her down the right. Integra gave her an acknowledging nod as she passed. "One final piece of advice, Miss Ashcroft." She began, "It is entirely up to you to whether you believe all vampires are malevolent. But whatever you do, you mustn't start thinking that all the people around you could be vampires. Thinking like that is a one-way ticket to the mental asylum."

Ruby's shoulders fell slant, "…O-Okay, thank you…" She felt somewhat proud of herself for refusing the money but she had just refused opportunities for endless shopping trips and a potential cruise trip to the Maldives. The loss of such privileges felt emotionally devastating, but nevertheless, she tried to think of the positives. So far, there didn't seem to be any anymore. She left the room with Seras, but was so absorbed in her loss that she didn't notice Alucard sidling near her, their shoulders almost touching.

"You didn't take the money." He reminded her, and she groaned out loud in frustration.

"I didn't feel like it was mine to take." She replied, "…And before you get any ideas in your head; it wasn't because of you. This doesn't mean I like you or anything; this doesn't change anything between us."

"You can keep telling yourself that, my bride," He said, leering at her with a wolfish grin. Before she could reply to that, he chuckled mirthlessly and drifted backwards, disappearing into the shadows.

Watching him do so for the first time in broad daylight unnerved her to no end. "H-Hey! Where are you going?" Ruby called after him, but he was already gone. He just left her…like that? Was this it? Goodbye? …Maybe it was better this way. She blinked blankly, feeling strangely abandoned and lonely once again. It was the same feeling she had back at the hospital when she realised he hadn't waited for her.

There was an awkward laugh beside her, "…My master does that a lot." It was the blonde girl apparently named Seras, and Victoria, "You get used to it."

"Well it's really starting to TICK ME OFF!" She roared, and then - "Oh! And you're the one who saved me back at the hospital! Thank you so much."

The girl seemed taken aback by Ruby's sudden outburst and then the dramatic change in character, "You're welcome." Pause. "My name is Seras Victoria."

Ruby pieced two and two together. So Victoria was her surname, and Seras was her first name. It was typical of Integra to call people by their surnames, Ruby thought. She stuck her hand out and Seras accepted with a smile. They shook hands but Ruby's not-broken hand felt like it was being clamped in a vice. Whoa, Ruby thought as Seras' strength startled her,This girl's packing some serious muscle in those skinny arms and legs! "...N-Nice to meet you."

"I'm…" Seras left her sentence trailing and glanced to the side. "…a vampire –cough-."

"O-oh, really?" Ruby began, followed by an awkward silence. She wasn't quite sure what to say next. Dropping the Vampire Bomb or V-Bomb onto her in the conversation were automatic conversation dead-enders. The fact that Seras was a vampire also made Ruby somewhat uneasy. "…But you're so…so young."

"It was my choice. And Master's a good teacher. He really is a nice person…So, let's work hard together and eliminate all the evil vampires."

Ruby felt like an idiot for asking this and was sure Seras would think of her as an idiot but she asked anyway. "Are all vampires evil?" She thought she might as well go look up a 'Vampires for Dummies' book.

"Not all vampires are evil. I don't think Master is evil."

"…Can I ask how you became a vampire, Seras?" She hoped the question didn't make her sound nosy. It probably did. Oh whatever. To hell with it all.

"It was just a few months ago."

Seras was a newly turned vampire? As Seras recounted her tale of the Cheddar Priest, the Ghouls and Alucard appearing from nowhere, letting himself get shot before rejuvenating before her very eyes and asking her if she was a virgin or not, Ruby felt a twang of jealousy for some odd reason. It also sounded like the exact same way of how Alucard found Ruby, except she didn't accept the option of being shot and found a way out. If Alucard had shot her, maybe he would've turned her into a vampire, too.

"About Alucard," Ruby began, "Who exactly is he?" She realised he hadn't told her much about himself at all. Maybe Seras would know more.

Seras thought for a short while, "Master works for Hellsing; he's been working there for a long time. I'm not sure how he came to work for them, though. I was never told, and I don't think they'll tell me. Not yet anyway, since I'm still new." She replied, "Master is teaching me how to become stronger."

Nope, it seems Seras didn't know a lot either.

As soon as they arrived back downstairs, Walter greeted them and Seras bid farewell to Ruby since she couldn't go into the sunlight. It was nice to have made a friend but Ruby wasn't sure if she'd ever see Seras again. As saddening as it sounded, she let Walter tie the blindfold over her eyes and led her outside. It was a long walk to the car from the front courtyard; Walter opened the door to the car for her and helped her inside. Just before he shut the door, he realised Alucard was comfortably sitting inside, now grinning at them both.

"A – " Walter began, but Alucard put a finger to his lips and his grin widened to a considerable extent.

The butler sighed under his breath and shook his head. He let go of Ruby's arm and shut the door for her; the chauffeur rolled down the automatic window and Walter stuck his head in. "You can tell the chauffeur where to drop you off, Miss Ashcroft."

"Oh, like a taxi?" She said, turning her blindfolded self to the direction of Walter's voice. She seemed completely oblivious that Alucard was sitting right beside her and was now watching them silently.

"Yes, Miss Ashcroft. Have a safe journey."

"Thanks, Walter." She turned away and blindly faced to where the chauffeur should be only to be addressing the empty passenger seat beside the chauffeur. "Um, can you take me to 39 Beckfield Estate please?"

The chauffeur took note of the extra passenger in the back seat beside Ruby but said nothing, "Alright then, Beckfield Estate it is." He hastily rolled up the screen that separated the passengers and the driver.

"Thanks." She said, and she heard the window rolling back up. Once the car started, she sat wordlessly. She felt a presence watching her and shifted uncomfortably on the seat. A few seconds passed. The feeling of being watched never went away. "…Alucard?" She began meekly, "…Are you…there?"

Nervously, she let out a shaking hand to grope around the car seat space around her but felt nothing. Maybe it was all in her head… Feeling foolish, she retreated her hand and returned back to her sitting position.

Alucard continued observing her from his safe distance.

She sighed a lot.

She scratched at her arm a lot.

She moved her head a lot.

Eventually, she stopped moving and sat completely still, her mouth slack and slightly parted. When the car turned a fierce right around a corner, Ruby followed the motion, swaying, before she promptly landed over his lap.

He stared down at her when she didn't get up, believing that she had actually fallen asleep. He pulled up the blindfold to her eyebrows and his hunch was correct – her eyes were closed - she was indeed sleeping. The girl was hapless; he gazed down at her again for a few moments before lifting her into his arms and pulled her legs up, letting them lie over the rest of the car seat – she didn't respond and he figured she was a deep sleeper – she merely slumped into his embrace and instead, mumbled something about marshmallows incoherently under her breath.

If only Ruby was like this all the time, he pondered, there wouldn't be any problems. Alucard brushed one of his long fingers down her jawline and to her chin; he used his thumb to trace the bulge of her bottom lip and leant forwards until she let out a sigh and turned away to rub her cheek against his chest in a bid to get comfortable.

He decided to simply watch her sleep in his arms instead.

…..

Ruby woke up when the car went to a stop and she went flying out of the seat. Landing on the floor of the car, she squinted in the darkness, then remembered she still had the blindfold on. She heard the chauffeur opening the door for her. They had arrived. She pulled the blindfold from her eyes and looked around the car.

She was alone.

3 days later.

She decided not to go home but instead, continue with her education. As noted before, the Infirmary was taken over entirely by the Hellsing Organisation after the hospital was attacked. She heard some patients and staff survived. The majority did not. Ruby's degree was temporarily postponed, and the entire faculty body were relocated to work at another hospital nearby called Pembury Hospital, including trainees and undergraduates like herself, who would now attend classes at the new hospital, starting a few days after today.

She also decided to stay at one of her parent's rented flats, Beckfield Estate, that was apparently situated a twenty minute bus journey away from the new hospital. Of course, when the chauffeur arrived and let her out she realised the area had degenerated over the years and it wasn't as splendid as it was twenty years ago and as her parents described it when they had stayed there for two or three romantic city break. The flat, having been dejected and empty for a long time, needed a lot of maintenance work. She called in a plumber to look at the bathroom tomorrow afternoon, and an electrician to get the heating working. Her wrist also seemed to have healed to some extent; it didn't hurt as much as it did and she could move it around very slightly.

Finally, she thought as she hammered in a defiant nail before hanging up a picture frame on the bathroom wall that said 'Home Sweet Home', I have some kind of house that is all to myself.

After a hard day's work of nailing a frame on the wall… as well as painting her new lounge a shocking carmine colour (she wasn't sure why she picked red. Red wasn't really her favourite colour but when she went to the Homebase store, it was the first colour she went for), Ruby stretched and replaced her brushes into the brush-cleaning solution and yawned. Tired, she wiped her forehead free of sweat, then smiled to herself and fell backwards on the floorboards she had just mopped and polished clean, to stare at the ceiling.

Wonder how Alucard's doing - The thought ended abruptly like a needle scraping off a record. Immediately, she mentally scolded herself. GAH! Stop it! Stop thinking about that pervert!

She believed they parted on somewhat stormy terms. She scrambled back up to sit cross-legged on her apartment floor, staring at the painted walls when the doorbell to her new apartment sounded off, and Ruby sprang up on all fours like a dog that had just seen its owner.

Pizza?

Yes, she had ordered a pizza with extra mozzarella from the local Domino's. But when she opened it, she blinked at the stranger. It was a middle-aged man with a camera around his neck. Her new neighbour. Oh goodie.

"This was left in my letterbox this morning, Miss Ashcroft." He said, with a smile.

She forgot his full name but knew his surname to be 'Munroe'. He was a sinister man. He lived in the apartment opposite hers. His living room window was thus adjacent to hers, and she really hated that fact. He really was a creepy man…She heard he had been single for years, and had withdrawn into an elusive hobby of taking pictures of birds. Or so the other neighbours say. It didn't quite explain the camera that was pointing at her window at night. Maybe there was a magpie nest in her window ledge somewhere.

"Here you go." He handed it to her but when she reached for it, his hand stroked against hers. Ruby tensed up all over, her eye twitching furiously, before she uttered her thanks and quickly slammed the door back shut. She locked the door with the key lock, a padlock, AND a chain. Panting slightly, Ruby nervously peeped into her front door spyhole to see that he was still standing at her doorstep, smiling that horrid slimy smile, before he slowly…very slowly… shuffled away…

She shivered all over. "Can't I get a break? Why are there so many weird people these days?"

Ruby looked at the letter, but frowned at it and shoved it to the side for the time being. She didn't recognise the return address that was on the back, and sighed again, then moved towards her TV where a video tape with the label 'Dracula' was stuck in her VCR. She pushed it in gently then waddled to her sofa.

She'd been curious about Alucard, so she rented an entire bunch of Dracula and/or vampire movies from the local Blockbuster store to watch (if they would help her understand his character). So far, her rented pile only consisted of old movies from the 80's to 90's since they hadn't updated their collection since 2005. Ruby switched on the first Dracula movie and watched. It was hard to concentrate; she was so hungry, she didn't want to move or do anything remotely productive from her spot on the sofa. Even going to the bathroom felt like a bother. Before long… she felt her eyelids droop…

A few hours later, Ruby woke up in the middle of the night, and groaned. The movie was finished, but she didn't remember anything she had just watched. She slowly lifted herself back up, then looked around the lounge.

It was dark.

"Oh…I fell asleep." She murmured to herself as she glanced around her surroundings again, "Where's my pizza delivery? …I missed it?" She then whined and hung her head low sadly before getting up to flip on the lights, then checked the clock on the wall.

11pm.

She moved to the next movie and lifted it up. "Hm. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Interesting." She squinted her eyes at the label for a minute, then gasped. She hastily grabbed a scrap pad from her side and an old pen with a chewed lid and quickly scribbled 'Dracula' on it. Then she began writing it backwards.

"…Dracula spelled backwards is…A…L…U…Oh dear lord! Dracula spelled backwards is Alucard! I didn't even realise!" She shrieked, "…How stupid could I get?"

While she began to worry, knowing that she had the king of all vampires or the ultimate-undead-of-them-all out there somewhere and shivered, then turned back to the video tape, aghast. She shrugged and put it into the VCR machine, rewinded it, and pressed play.

Her stomach was still rumbling, she crawled to a large box by the front door, opened it, and pulled out a packet of chicken flavoured instant noodles while keeping her eyes trained on the TV screen. With the pack of noodles in hand, she drifted into the kitchen and began to slowly simmer them in a shallow pan that she filled with boiling water, listening to the movie from the kitchen. Once the noodles were done, she emptied them into a bowl and emerged out of the kitchen only to find the entire lounge engulfed in darkness although she was sure she had just switched on the lights. 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' continued to play in the background.

The window was also open.

She certainly didn't recall opening it. Nonetheless, she clutched the noodle bowl in one hand, and shuffled over to close the window. At first, she looked out groggily, staring at the dark empty street below and the orange light spots from their respective lamp posts on the road, then she slammed the window back shut, pulled the curtains over and turned round just to bump into something hard.

"Oof." She stepped back and rubbed at her nose just as some hot broth from the noodle bowl sloshed out and splashed over her front. Immediately a tear welled up in her eye. "ARGHH! HOT!"

She carefully cast aside the noodle bowl before hopping around on the spot and wiping her apron dry with a tissue before patting at the 'thing' she had bumped into blindly. What the hell…? Her hands trailed up and up, she could feel flesh and silky strands of hair and before long, she felt a row of sharp, jagged teeth.

Two red eyes lit up in the darkness, and Ruby shrieked, leaping a feet backwards. "Eep! What are you doing here?"

He chuckled, his voice echoing around the small, one-bedroom apartment. "Am I not allowed to check up on my bride?"

She deadpanned, but before long, her staggered expression turned sour and she frowned up at him, "I thought Sir Integra gave you orders not to go near me."

"You fool; my Master is a powerful woman, yes… But you forgot her words… not all of my actions and intentions are under her jurisdiction."

He just called her a fool. She blinked at him blankly. She frowned and turned away from him with her arms crossed over her chest, "Go and find yourself another bride. I'm not interested, and I'm sure there are plenty of single ladies that will welcome you with open arms."

"No," He asserted, "The only one I desire is you."

"Hmph, well…don't think I didn't prepare for this moment!" She fished out a string of garlic from the side and thrust it in front of his face. "Hah! I watched and I read all about you. I know what repels you. Garlic, crucifixes, sacramental bread, holy water, silver. I don't have bread, but I got this, so stay. Away." She tried to sound threatening but her knees couldn't stop quaking.

And then he smacked it out of her hand and it went flying to the floor.

She gasped. Before she could dive for them, he grabbed her by the back of the collar and lifted her off the ground and up to him. She kicked and flailed helplessly, swinging side to side like the pendulum on a clock. "Let gooo!" She wailed. "…How did you even find me anyway?"

He'd been in the car with her and heard her speak her destination but it didn't make a difference anyway. "I will be able to find you, wherever you are. Your scent beckons me and therefore, you cannot run from me." He replied. She swallowed down that growing lump in her throat as he dropped her, then removed his fedora and sunglasses and placed them down on the side table. She watched, and frowned once again. He was making himself home already? He added, "…There's a human saying … hm, what was it now? …ah, yes…absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"It's only been three days, Alucard."

"Yes, and I have been tearing at my basement walls just by the mere thought of you, girl."

And here Ruby was having the time of her life renovating her apartment and living off instant noodles. Nevertheless, she blushed furiously at his words, but quickly shook her head to clear her mind. "Get out of my house."

"No."

"Get out of my house."

"No."

"Get out of my house!"

He smirked, "No."

Ruby roared in frustration but admitted defeat. Fine, she'd let him stay in her house. Fine. Just fine! She said nothing then, and promptly marched past him to switch the light back on before reaching for her bowl of noodles which she began to slurp with a fork as she sat cross-legged on the apartment floor.

"Giving me the cold shoulder, are you?" He mused out loud as he moved to sit down behind her on the sofa with his legs crossed; she didn't say anything. "You must understand. This was your fate." She ignored him again before settling down to watch the TV; he slid his gaze languidly at the screen. Dracula. He smirked, "How quaint. You're doing your research about me."

A few minutes later, she said, "I am not." The cold shoulder didn't last very long.

Alucard glanced to her rented pile of Dracula/vampire movies in the corner and snickered. "I hope you realise they are portrayals and mere fantasies from a group of very ingenious humans with wild imaginations."

"I know that!"

The next scene was the one with the brides. Ruby's eyes widened and she winced slightly, shrinking away from the TV as the scene played out. "Oh my god…They're naked… NAKED!" She exclaimed in horror. She disliked the notion of 'bride' more and more.

Alucard merely laughed at her reaction as she lifted up the remote control and fast-forwarded it.

A minute later, she asked, "…Did you really have three brides, Alucard?"

"Yes." He replied, and he took out his gun from the innards of his jacket and began inspecting it leisurely. She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise up; looking at the thing made her nervous. Guns weren't easy to possess in Britain and the people who did have them were either in the police or army, or were criminals.

Lifting her eyes off the silver barrel of the Casull, she said, "At the same time?"

"Yes."

She was surprised he wasn't deliberately hiding anything or reluctant to tell her. "…What happened to them?"

He took a while to reply. "They're dead."

"O-Oh." Ruby stammered out. She shouldn't have asked. "I…I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago. I am a changed man. Besides, I have found my mate."

Of course you are a changed man, you've turned monogamous now. She thought, with a roll of her eyes. Although she sounded she didn't care what he had just said, or the fact that he had three brides all at once, her stomach squeezed like a tight knot. "…Aren't you offended? I mean… they made so many movies about you. They make you old and decrepit and ugly and you always get killed in the end. Look, they even made a cereal out of you." She reached over to the side and lifted up a breakfast cereal box with a cartoon drawing of a stereotypical depiction of Dracula that said 'Brekkie Bites' on the front.

Alucard watched the box with slight amusement dancing in his eyes, "I have come to accept whatever the world has come to see me as." He replied, as Ruby put away the box; his gaze drifted to the movie on the TV just to see a vampire with dilated eyes was hissing and spitting. "As long as you do not see me that way, I am content."

Her mouth opened to a certain extent. She was surprised. "…Really?" And she felt bad for always yelling at him or having a nasty inflection in her tone whenever she spoke to him, or telling him that she thought he was a compete and utter pervert. Maybe he had changed. Whatever he was in the past, he was not anymore.

Suddenly, Alucard let out a deep chuckle and she blinked up at him. "What is it?"

"You pity." He said, steadying his gaze at her as he returned his gun back into his coat, "You feel pity for the monster?"

She bit down on her bottom lip and said nothing. "…Do you want me to be scared of you or something?"

"Not scared, my bride. Never scared. You must simply know your place and obey me," He corrected her, "I would never bring harm to you in any way. I shall come to you, always. And I shall protect you with everything I have, may it be my body and my damned soul."

Notes -

1. I personally don't know if Ruby refusing the money was Mary-Sue or not. It was a moral issue, but at the same time… in reality, could someone really refuse so much money?

2. The movie Ruby watched was the one with Gary Oldman, Anthony Hopkins and Keanu Reeves, made in 1992.
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Oh My Alucard