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Walls Came Tumbling Down	By : DeathNoteFangirl Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > Mello/Matt Views: 2727 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note and I do not make any money from these writings.

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Matt felt cold and the sweat on his face was bordering upon icy.   He had a headache.   He knew without going near a mirror that his face was pale.   He lay very still, turned away towards the wall, wishing that he had a cigarette.    He hadn't relinquished the overnight blanket and no-one had demanded that he should.   He wrapped it around himself now, like a shroud, though he was fully dressed beneath it.

"Matt."   Chrissie spoke through the bars, startling him.   The leap of his heart was entirely disproportionate to the surprise.   He had known that Chrissie was coming.    He had been told when she took him on as a client; and he had been warned, by Lauren, that his lawyer had arrived in the building.    "Lauren is dead on her feet.   Tell her that she can go to bed."    He could feel her eyes on his back, but Matt said nothing.   It felt dangerous, Chrissie being here; like things were going to move on and all he wanted to do was speak with Mello.   "She's guarded your door for over a day now.    You and Mello shouldn't ask for more.   You know that you are safe with me."

Matt kept his eyes closed.    He wanted to cough, but he didn't.   He kept perfectly still, wishing that time and the whole world would stop.    He could hold onto himself, if he just blocked it all out.    Lauren answered for him.   "Drop it, Chrissie, please. I'm staying, until Mello tells me otherwise."    There was a pause.   He could imagine the two women glaring at each other.   He didn't turn to look.

Chrissie sounded dismissive.   "I'm only thinking of you.   You'll be no good to either of them, if you fall down exhausted."   There was a shuffling.   "Matt, I'm holding a PSP through the bars.   You come and take it off me or you don't get it."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Lauren and a general expectancy in the air.   Matt hated himself for wanting it.   The waiting, with nothing to do, was killing him.    He rolled off the bed and placed his bare feet on the floor.    He could hear Lauren scrambling to produce a cigarette from the packet for him and he inwardly thanked her.   Two birds, one stone, then he could push them from his life again.   He stood and the world reverberated a little. His elbows and knees felt ethereal, as if the joints within them had turned to dust, yet his weight was held. He took a couple of deep breaths and steadied.    He shuffled to the bars and took the PSP.

"And that answers that question."    Chrissie stated, wryly.   "Don't deny it, Matt, I can see the state of you.   You look like shit. You're going through cold turkey from something.   I'm suspecting that it is prescription drugs of some description, as you told us, in the initial meeting for the reconstituted Wammy's House, that you have abused them in the past.   You said that Mello had you down to half an anti-depressant.   Is this what you're needing?"

Matt's fringe was plastered to his face, damp with sweat and, though he would never admit it, tears.   He took the cigarette offered by a worried Lauren and allowed her to light it.    The smoke hit the back of his throat; a soothing balm for the ragged lump that felt formed there.   He closed his eyes and took another deep drag.    It was calming, but not enough. He found himself craving another cigarette, even while he was smoking this one.   His left hand clutched the PSP, but he was too hot.   He could feel the clamminess of his palms wetting the plastic covering.    He stepped back from the bars and sat down on his bed.    Yes, he wanted his medication with a fervent need that frightened him, but he refused to confirm this weakness in front of them.

"Matt." Chrissie spoke sternly.   "I didn't leave my child and my husband to travel miles, in order to play 'let's be ignored by Matt'.    That game got old when I was 12.   So I'm cutting to the chase."   Matt looked down. His hand felt too big and distant.   He had finished the cigarette already.   The butt was lodged, charred, between his fingers.   He tensed, so not to tremble and hoped that he hadn't been shaking too much when he took it.    He placed the PSP on the mattress beside him and contemplated lying back down.   Chrissie went on.   "I'm going to provide your medication for you, while also passing on the information to Madeleine and Valerie, so they can evaluate the situation.   I will be requiring a plan from them to wean you off them, if they are unnecessary.    But you're not going blind cold turkey like this."

Lauren sighed, "I didn't even know he was on medication."

"Don't worry about it, dear.   It's his own fault for not telling you."   Chrissie laid her hand on the bar.   "I've already given you a game.   Lauren, give me those cigarettes."

"No."

Chrissie tutted loudly, "Ok, give them to him yourself.    Throw them and the lighter onto the bed, so he doesn't have to get up again.    He looked ready to pass out the last time."

Relief coursed through Matt's sensibilities.    He looked up, as Lauren took aim and threw the cigarettes and lighter, both landed just a few inches from him.    "Thank you."   Matt whispered and he saw Chrissie's triumphant smile.   Matt bowed his head, feeling nauseous, but he took a second cigarette and just dropped the butt of the last onto the floor. It had long since gone out.

"So here is my deal."   Chrissie stepped away from the bars and took one of the two hard-backed chairs out there.   Lauren returned to the other.   They seemed to be watching him for a long time before Chrissie spoke again.   "I'm offering a telephone call with Mello."

Matt honestly believed that he was going to faint.   His vision clouded and his whole body drained of heat and substance.   He took the cigarette from his mouth and gasped for air.    He was possibly hyperventilating.   That happened to him more often than actually fainting.   He held himself very tightly, waiting for the wave to pass.   But his mind was telling him that he needed air.   He started coughing and doubled over, bending at his waist.    Ash from his cigarette fell to the tiles.   It felt better down there, so he stayed, with his head between his knees and his hand, still holding the cigarette, resting against his knee.    By degrees, the world stopped spinning so much, though droplets of moisture, from his skin and hair, filled the air around him when he moved.     He sucked on the cigarette.   It helped.

"This is no good." Chrissie declared.   "He's in cold turkey.   He's not listening to a word that we're saying."

Lauren intervened.   "Mello is awake?"

"Yes."   Chrissie confirmed.    Matt's head shot up.   He stared at Chrissie, but she was just out of focus and therefore blurred.    He did not tell her that he needed his goggles for the prescription lenses.    He wondered why no-one had peered through them and realised.    He waited anxiously for news.   It never came.   "Before I tell you anything about Mello, I want to know what medication you're on."

"Seroxat."   Matt replied softly, feeling like a failure for even acknowledging her presence, let alone answering her questions.   But hurrying behind the word were more and they were out before he could stop them.   "Is Mello ok?"

"Thank you, Matt."   Chrissie replied, reassuringly.   He felt slightly warmer, but anxious, all at the same time.   He sucked on his cigarette.   "Mello has awoken in hospital.   The prognosis is very good.   He's naturally feeling very battered and tired at the moment, but then again, he has been shot twice and undergone surgery.   It's only to be expected.   Is Seroxat the same drug that you took at Wammy's House, after stealing Roger's prescription pad?"

Lauren breathed, "When did Mello wake up? Why weren't we told?"

"I've just told you."

Matt moved backwards on the bed, so that he could lean against the wall.   All he could see of either woman was the vague colours of their shapes.   He held his cigarette between his lips and tucked the blanket around himself.    The PSP was stashed onto his lap.   He felt too sick to play it.   His hands felt like they belonged to someone else.   He heard Lauren try to stifle a yawn.

Chrissie pressed on.   "Matt, you will get that 'phone call with Mello, but there are conditions.   Number one is that you tell me, one to one, lawyer to client, in privacy, what happened up at that house.   I need to know the sequence of events, from your point of view, which led to Mello being shot."   She barely paused, before plunging onto the next.   "The second is full disclosure of the medication that you have been on over the past three years, because your personality has changed radically since you left the Institution." Now Chrissie waited.   Matt concentrated on smoking.   "You've always been insular and introverted, but not quite this much.    I'm also going to try and make a case around your psychotic episodes being caused by long-term prescription drug abuse.   Starting with asking Luigi to investigate Seroxat."

Lauren sounded so tired.   "I doubt he's on drugs.   Mello would never allow that."

"Do we have a deal, Matt?"

Matt's head was pressed up against the cool wall, though he felt chilled to the bone.   It helped a little with the rushing sound whooshing past his ears.   He had resolved not to tell them anything, until he knew the score with Mello.    It had been a decision made before he became so ill, when he was more compos mentis.   He supposed that he should honour it now.    If Mello was awake and Mello wasn't here, then that spoke volumes in itself.   Matt knew the answer already.   Mello had left him.    It was over. Matt wondered at why he seemed to fall further inside himself, with his flesh growing even more cold. He looked to his cigarette, but it had finished too.   He slid to the side, down the wall, onto the mattress, and threw the butt of the cigarette onto the floor, before curling up.    He had already known that there was no coming back from this into their relationship.   It was hardly news; yet it felt like news.    This was the way the world ended.

Lauren was trying hard to keep the agitation from her tone, but they could hear it underscoring her words, "Did Mello not say anything at all?"    Her chair scraped against the tiles, as she reached down into her handbag.   "I'm going to call him."

"He's in a hospital and doesn't have his mobile 'phone on him."

"I've spoken with both Hal and Deontic. They've been using their 'phones in his room!"   Lauren snapped, then breathed, "What?"   It was obviously spoken in response to some gesture, unseen by Matt.   She was quietly shrill with her next statement. "No! I am not letting communication between them become subject to the endless politics of the Institution!    It's too important."

Chrissie commanded, "A word please, Lauren."   The noises from the other side of the bars made it obvious that Lauren was being given no choice.   "We'll be right back, Matt.   Think about that deal."    Lauren complained, but her protests became more distant, as she was forcibly taken up the corridor, out of earshot.

Matt pulled his thin pillow up over his head and froze there in blessed darkness.
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Walls Came Tumbling Down