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'Sexy Devil' Luffy	By : DonalGraeme Category: +M to R > One Piece Views: 31036 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 7
Disclaimer: I in no way profit financially from the writing of this fanfiction. One Piece is the intellectual property of Eiichiro Oda and Shonen Jump.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
A/N: So my account was randomly deleted, making this story vanish. Now that it’s back, I hope you all make up for all the lost hits. That said, enjoy!
Chapter 4: Rescued Redheads and the Reaping of the Rapists
Zoro spent the next three days floating in and out of a state of constant orgasmic bliss. Luffy seemed truly insatiable, and Zoro had absolutely no problem with trying to fulfill the stud’s endless lusts. All his captain had to do was crook a finger and Zoro would be ready to go. Some tiny, pessimistic corner of his mind pointed out that he was starting to act like a junkie desperate for his fix, but Zoro was perfectly fine with that. If he had to be addicted to something, he could think of nothing better for him than Monkey D. Luffy.
When they weren’t copulating like rabbits jacked up on ecstasy and meth, Luffy and Zoro got to know each other in the traditional sense of the phrase. Zoro talked about his past, of his years at the dojo and his constant competition with Kuina, and how her death had laid the foundation for his determination. Luffy was equally open, talking about growing up on Dawn Island, his two mother figures in Dadan and Makino, and the story behind his hat.
In between the physical ravishment and the emotional bonding, Zoro came to realize that Luffy truly had loved him from the very first time they’d met. After wrapping his mind around the fact that the man in a league all his own could fall that hard that fast, Zoro was slightly less surprised to find he had fallen almost as quickly. Zoro had always been a bit distant from people. His manic drive scared people off, and his homosexuality had always been a point of discomfort in the traditional village he’d grown up in. After setting out on his own, he’d truly become a loner. He’d wandered where the winds of fate took him, forming almost no bonds and leaving a place as easily as he had come.
Then out of nowhere had come Luffy, gently but firmly entrenching himself into Zoro’s entire existence. He made it seem as natural and simple as the sunrise, like it was just the way things were meant to be. Empty places in Zoro’s heart he hadn’t even known existed were suddenly filled to bursting with light and happiness. He enjoyed every second he spent in Luffy’s company, and he would do anything for the man with the straw hat that had swept him up into a life of adventure and partnership he had never seen coming.
Roronoa Zoro was in love with Luffy, and that was just the way things were going to be.
Since they were engaging in hot, steaming intercourse multiple times a day, and because they would see any other ship coming from miles away, the two had decided to spend the entire voyage naked. Their clothes, Luffy’s hat, and Zoro’s swords were all crammed into one corner of the boat. Luffy confessed to being used to wearing only his birthday suit in the open, which explained his lack of tan lines.
It was midday, and the two were cuddling after another arduous lovemaking session. Zoro brought up one of the more life-altering things Luffy had neglected to warn him about.
“Explain to me again how this Bond thing works.”
Luffy lifted his head from where it had been resting comfortably on Zoro’s shoulder. “I created a permanent link between our auras, or chakras or life-forces or whatever you want to call them. I’ll always know where you are, and you’ll always sense me as well. You can probably feel it in the back of your mind right now.”
“Yeah, and it’s purring like a cat at all hours,” Zoro grumbled, though in truth he found the constant buzz of contentment and sense of being right where he belonged one of the best feelings he’d ever known.
“That’s because we’re together,” Luffy said, an undeniable glow of pride and love in his voice. “If we’re ever separated, we’ll be able to find our way back to each other. Kind of like that red string of fate thing.”
“Ah. Does it do anything else?” Zoro’s hand started to very slowly move down from its previous position on Luffy’s chest.
“Well, whenever I have sex with someone, we generate energy. I normally just absorb that without even thinking. If I want to, I could transfer my personal energy to help them with Heal or suck them dry with Consume. But since we’re Bonded, some of that energy goes to you all by itself. So every time we’re together, you’ll get a little boost.”
“You’re telling me you got the strength to punch through walls by having a lot of sex?” Zoro’s hand found Luffy’s soft cock, which was still bigger than some men ever were. The greenhead started to play with the foreskin as the silky bronze length started to reach turgidity.
Luffy hummed appreciatively and started to pluck at Zoro’s nipple with nimble fingers. “Well, it’s a full body exercise. It’s not that hard to believe. And now you can enjoy the same benefits. If you challenged the you from a month ago to an arm-wrestling match, you’d win easy.”
“Well that explains why I’m not that tired,” Zoro muttered distractedly, most of his attention on the now fully erect phallus in his hand.
It was true. Their first argument had been the morning after their first time together. Zoro had yelled at Luffy for five minutes for sailing off with no compass, water, or food, something the swordsman had failed to notice in the dreamlike state the day before had taken on. The diatribe had lasted until Luffy leaned down to suckle on Zoro’s balls. The impromptu blowjob proved to be the opening act to the longest marathon Zoro ever had, going from just past dawn until the stars were visible. Needless to say, the issue of supplies was the farthest thing from Zoro’s mind after that. Yet despite that ordeal and two more days of similar exertions, Zoro felt no more tired or hungry than he normally was after a good, tough workout. Though he was getting uncomfortably thirsty.
“We probably will have to find an island soon for you. I ate the fruit; my body is made for feeding on sexual energy. I could probably live on it indefinitely, though that’d get pretty exhausting. You, on the other hand, can’t even feel where it’s going. It’s like replacing sleep with coffee; sooner or later it won’t be enough. You need real food and water.” Luffy said all this while tracing an abdomen so cut it wasn’t flat so much as ridged.
“I actually could use a drink. I think I’ll have a protein shake.” So saying, Zoro twisted away from Luffy’s side to kneel down in front of him and begin to suckle on the most perfect dick nature could provide.
Luffy leaned his head back and groaned as he was surrounded by wet, tight, sucking warmth. Blowjobs were awesome. Anyone who said different hadn’t had one. “That’s right. Suck on my sword, my Zoro.” Luffy had learned quickly that his swordsman had both little interest for nicknames and a fetish for referring to sex in blade metaphors. In fact, the only reason he allowed Luffy to say ‘my’ was because Zoro liked the idea of being ‘wielded’.
Zoro bobbed up and down on his captain’s shaft, rubbing what he couldn’t fit into his mouth with his left hand. While he had no gag reflex after years of working with a sword in his mouth in the heat of battle, he was still inexperienced at giving head in general. He tried to make up for it with his highly-trained tongue, slathering the sensitive underside of Luffy’s cock.
If the tensing of Luffy’s thighs was an indication, it was working.
Zoro pulled back to focus on Luffy’s head, licking up the gobs of precum from Luffy’s slit as they came out. Luffy moaned Zoro’s name as his hand came up to feel the green strands of coarse hair. Zoro looked Luffy in the eye, almost hesitant, before reaching up and offering two fingers from his right hand. With giddy enthusiasm, Luffy leaned forward to suckle.
Apart from the cowboy position, Zoro had not been on top the entire time he’d been Luffy’s nakama. He hadn’t cared because Luffy blew his mind more by plowing him inside-out than he’d ever come close to topping random drinking buddies. But this time, Zoro wanted to be the one in charge. He wanted to see if Luffy felt as heavenly inside as he looked on the outside.
Zoro pulled his saliva-soaked fingers from Luffy’s mouth and reached past the bulging balls as he continued to suck. He traced past the perineum to find the puckered rosebud that had yet to be breached by the swordsman. Once more making eye contact with Luffy, Zoro pressed into quivering tunnel.
“Oh, Zoro!” Luffy yelled as his felt his hole stretch for the probing digits. That combined with the continued attention to his shaft and the molten lust and desire in Zoro’s eyes had him close to the edge in seconds. He could feel the energy practically bubbling over as it rose up and then flowed away into both Luffy and his lover. Feeling the connection was just as erotic to Luffy as seeing Zoro’s cheeks bulge, and as his nakama brushed that ever-so-sweet spot inside, Luffy let himself go with a shout as he felt his orgasm explode throughout his body.
Zoro drank down every drop of the ‘shake’ he’d worked for, while focusing on the vice-like grip around his fingers. Picturing another extremity being clenched like a boa’s pray into that smoldering cavern, Zoro felt a string of his personal lube drip down to the sole of the boat.
Pulling off the still-hard length, Zoro rose as high up as he could kneeling so that he was looking down on Luffy, pulling his fingers out to tease around the edge. “Well, that was refreshing.” Zoro reached down turned Luffy’s hips around so he was on all fours. “But now I think I’m going to find a sword for this empty sheathe here.”
Luffy grinned, turned on by the odd dirty talk because it turned Zoro on. “Yes, fill it with that big katana of yours. I’m not even sure it’ll fit, but we’ll never know unless we try.”
All but growling in lust, rejoicing in feeling dominant after so long being the bottom, Zoro lined himself up, grasped Luffy’s hips, and drove balls-deep in one great thrust.
And then used every ounce of self-control to not shoot his load on the spot.
The Fuck-Fuck Fruit had gifted Luffy, among other things, with the magical power to penetrate his partners without pain, as well as take any cock with little to no prep or lube. But that didn’t mean he was loose. And as Luffy had told Zoro when he was still imprisoned, everything about the Sexyman was ten times as pleasurable as a normal person.
If Luffy’s kisses were Heaven and his cock was out of this world, then his ass had to be Hell. It was hot as fire, dirty and sweaty, and so tight it was suffocating. It was pure torture for Zoro to feel his sword getting cooked and crushed in there, the sweetest torture he had ever known. He felt if he moved even one inch, he would be undone.
And then Luffy clenched around him.
Zoro saw spots as he fell forward to cover Luffy’s body with his, his ass clenching visibly as his balls pumped shot after shot into the greatest hole Zoro had ever felt. He felt like his soul was being sucked out his dick, leaving him feeling numb and dumb as his captain supported his weight.
Luffy grinned wryly as he felt his nakama’s breath against his neck as his arms held firm against the weight of the heavy body. He’d had this problem with every guy he’d ever let give him anal. Zoro had actually lasted much longer than anyone else before breaking. The rookie pirate had discovered the solution a while ago.
“Recharge,” Luffy muttered as he gathered a few ergs from his reserves and pushed it into Zoro’s body in the smallest Heal he could do. In seconds, Zoro’s softening length returned to full mast as his head drifted back down from cloud nine.
“Um… sorry.” Zoro’s cheeks were pink as he turned to face Luffy.
Luffy just smiled and twisted his neck to give Zoro a kiss. “No problem. Think of it as stamina training. Let’s see how long you last this time.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow, then grabbed hold of Luffy’s hair and pushed his head down. His other hand came up and smacked solidly against Luffy’s left cheek, drawing a gasp from the invaded captain. “A good sheathe cradles its sword, but lets it move in and out with ease. Only bad sheathes disagree with the katana they hold, interfering with the battle. Are you a bad sheathe?”
Luffy fought shivers. This new side of Zoro was a little unexpected, but not unwelcome. After years of lovers who followed his every whim, it was surprisingly sexy to Luffy to have someone else put him in his ‘place’. If Zoro wanted to act like a total dom from time to time, Luffy was totally into being a sub.
But then again, Luffy was into everything.
His musings were broken as Zoro spanked him again, this time on the opposite cheek. “You didn’t answer. Are you a good sheathe or a bad sheathe?”
“I’m good! I’ll be the best sheathe there can be for your huge sword! Let me prove how good I am! Let me show how easily you can slide in and out of this good little sheathe!”
Surprised, and very turned on, by the positive response to his fetish and power play, Zoro muttered “We shall see,” before beginning to thrust.
Lovemaking was too gentle a word for this. So was sex, or even fuck. This was a rut, plain and simple. Zoro pounded in and out of Luffy, raw and hard and fast. Their balls touched as the swordsman’s hips smacked audibly with his captain’s over and over again. Every few thrusts Zoro would smack a cheek, until Luffy’s ass could have glowed in the dark. Luffy’s head was pushed facedown into the boat, his hair held tight to the point of pain.
And they loved every second of it. Zoro plunged again and again into that burning, constricting passage, which clenched even tighter with each spank, feeling the rush of power and masculinity in having total control. Luffy drooled into the wood, his body shuddering around the titanic thrusts of his lover, the pain his nakama inflicted providing a biting, sharp edge to the pleasure that he’d rarely ever experienced.
And no matter how harsh or how demeaning Zoro spoke, how desperate Luffy cringed away from the sting, their love stayed strong. If anything it grew stronger because they could admit their pleasure in this new way.
Even with a second wind, Zoro could only last three minutes in the sinful ecstasy of Luffy’s ass. With a guttural cry, Zoro thrust as deep as he could and let loose. Shot after shot of cum flew out until his balls actually started to ache with the effort to produce enough. Luffy all but convulsed as he felt the warmth of Zoro’s seed in his deepest, darkest place. His own release was not so much a series of shots as a continuous flow, his sphincter clenching around Zoro’s thick cock with each convulsion.
In unrelated news, that rowboat would be burned by its next owner after taking one look at the stains.
Zoro fell backwards, his cock feeling like it would almost be torn off before Luffy’s ass let go of it. He gasped for breath like he’d just run twenty miles. Luffy tilted his hips to keep any of Zoro’s seed from leaking out, waiting for his body to absorb it. He breathed deeply. He always loved the smell of the afterglow. His scent in its purest form mixed with another’s and the pure musk of sex. It was divine.
That had been a big one. He could actually feel the boundaries of his reserves expand to make way for the huge lump of fresh energy. Zoro made him stronger too.
Once he couldn’t feel Zoro’s cum slithering inside him anymore, Luffy stood up and turned to survey Zoro all but passed out. The man raised a shaky arm and pointed at the sky. “Bird,” he stated, as if he’d never seen one before.
Luffy looked up to see a pink bird flying along. He thought it looked about the size of a seagull, until a cloud passed by that was visibly lower. That meant the bird was actually huge and just very high up. “Hmm, that bird must nest nearby. If we follow it, we’ll probably find an island.”
Luffy turned to the corner where all their clothes were smushed and shook out his vest and jeans before slipping into them. Putting his hat back on his head and feeling a sense of completeness, Luffy turned to tap Zoro with his toe. “Come on, Zoro. Honeymoon’s over. Get dressed and start rowing after that bird.”
“Why do I have to do it?” he asked, eyeing Luffy’s clothes with a vaguely displeased expression.
“Because contrary to what the past ten minutes might lead you to believe, I am the captain and I’m in charge. And I say you row while I navigate.”
Zoro grumbled to himself but set about getting dressed. True to his word from their first time, Zoro showed Luffy how he wrapped the fundoshi, which proved to be a tad distracting. However, it really was time to get back to the real world. Zoro got back into his dirty clothes, deciding it was time to start looking for new ones, and belted his swords. He then grabbed the two paddles and set about rowing in the direction Luffy pointed.
At least he thought he had, though Luffy said he’d rowed in the complete opposite direction. Not really believing that, but deciding to humor his captain, Zoro went the other way.
That hadn’t been moving for very long when suddenly the quiet sea air was filled with shouts.
“Hey look, a boat!”
“Please help us! Our boat capsized!”
“Show some kindness, please!”
Luffy and Zoro turned to face what looked like three half-drowned clowns. They wore the most ridiculous clothes either pirate had ever seen, all flamboyant colors in odd styles. One appeared to be wearing a jester’s hat.
“Well I guess we put clothes on just in time,” Zoro said.
Luffy wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know if we should stop for them. They don’t smell right.”
“So we won’t stop,” said Zoro. Without stopping his powerful strokes, he called out “If you want on, you better swim fast!”
“WHAT?!” the three asked incredulously. When they saw that their hope of salvation really wasn’t slowing down, they broke into action. They each seemed only concerned with saving himself, elbowing each other and getting in each other’s way. But all three were pretty fast, and managed to grab hold of the passing boat and get on board.
“Hmm. I’m surprised you guys all caught up with us. You look pretty weak,” Zoro said, looking at them with apathy.
None of them answered, all of them preoccupied with staring at Luffy. The sexy pirate felt a familiar sensation of crawling skin as eyes that held nothing but lust that didn’t care if it was unreciprocated roamed over his body. The men had already started to dry off, making the stink Luffy had detected earlier even more obvious. He knew in an instant exactly what these men were.
All three drew the swords hanging at their belts, drawing the eye to the (rather small) tents in their pants. The biggest one in the middle spoke, already drooling. “Listen up, you two. We’re members of the Buggy Pirates, so you better do what we say if you want to live. And I say that you keep rowing while you watch us have some fun with your little boyfriend here.”
Zoro raised an eyebrow as he stopped rowing. He was just about ready to get up and stick the oars in his hands in some not-so-nice places in these pathetic grunts when Luffy turned to give him a look. It was the look of a hunter informing another that this prey was his. It was not a very nice look.
Then Luffy stepped forward, got to his knees, and began to nuzzle the erection of the spokesman while his hands came up to fondle the other two. “All you had to do was ask,” he trilled, his musical voice low and smoky.
The clowns couldn’t seem to believe their luck. They started to brag to each other about all the things they were going to do with their latest catch. So involved were they that none of them heard Luffy whisper “Consume.”
Instantly the three froze. Zoro watched with morbid interest as their skin started to wrinkle and grey before his eyes. The biggest reached down with withering hands to try and push Luffy away, but his touches were as feeble as a feather. In a matter of seconds, the three were reduced to lifeless husks, their hair white and brittle, their bones visible beneath dry, cracked flesh. All three corpses fell back into the water, never to be seen again.
Luffy reached down into the water and started to wash his hands and face with a certain intensity.
Zoro spoke up, a hint of worry in his voice. “I understood when you said you could suck energy out of people, but I guess I didn’t really realize that meant you could kill them. Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. They deserved it.” Luffy’s voice was curiously dull.
“You sure about that? You must get all kinds of unwanted attention.” It wasn’t that Zoro had a problem with murder; he’d killed several people in the heat of battle. And he would have had no problem with beating those men to bloody meat for even thinking of touching Luffy. But there was something about the way they’d... eroded before his eyes, something about how they’d died without a fight, their own lust turned against them that rubbed Zoro the wrong way.
Luffy paused in his washing, looking down at hands that were starting to look raw red. After a moment, he said quietly “Remember how I told you Shanks saved me from those bandits? I didn’t mention that they came very close to raping me. You could say I have issues with people like that.”
Zoro felt bile rise in his throat. Luffy had been seven when that had happened. Doing something like that to a child… Without a word, Zoro held out his arms. Luffy accepted, curling up into Zoro’s lap as strong arms held him close and let him know he wasn’t alone.
They stayed there for about a minute, until Luffy pulled out. “We’re about to lose that bird. We better get moving again.”
Nodding, Zoro picked up the oars again and set off, faster this time to catch up and also to get as far away as possible from Luffy’s latest kills.
Within the hour, they came upon an island. As Zoro pulled into the dock and set about tying the lines, Luffy surveyed the town, a puzzled expression on his face. When Zoro finished he joined his captain. “What’s bothering you?”
“Can you hear that?”
Zoro cocked his ears. “I don’t hear anything.”
“Exactly. It’s midday, but this dock is deserted.”
“Hmm. Those… guys back there mentioned something about the Buggy Pirates. Maybe they raided the town and killed everyone.”
“And cleaned up after themselves?” Luffy shook his head. “Either they’re the neatest pirates that ever sailed, or they’re still here and the townspeople are hiding.”
At that moment, a sound louder than thunder tore through the air as a blinding light flashed. Luffy and Zoro covered their eyes, shocked at the suddenness of the explosion. When the light cleared, they looked. Zoro’s eyes widened as Luffy’s jaw dropped.
An entire line of houses had been reduced to rubble. What wasn’t burning was in pieces on the ground. The destruction continued in a completely straight line, back to somewhere in the heart of the town.
“Well, I guess that answers that question,” Zoro muttered, clutching his swords.
“Something’s not right. I want to see these Buggy Pirates and what they’re up to.” With that, Luffy took off. Zoro, with no other choice, took off after him.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Nami had fallen into a lot of piles of shit in her seven-year career as a pirate thief. But this was by far the biggest.
Upon discovering that the chart to the Grand Line she’d hoped to steal from Captain Morgan had been already taken by the infamous Buggy the Clown, she had set off immediately to steal it for herself. Perhaps her eagerness had made her sloppy, or she’d just underestimated the guards, but she’d been caught red-handed stealing the map from its chest. She’d led her pursuers on a merry chase, until finally their greater speed and her poor choice of running shoes caught up with her.
That led to her being on the roof of the village bar, tied to a chair in a way as humiliating as it was effective. Her legs were spread wide and tied to the feet of the chair, offering a clear view of her panties beneath her mini-skirt. Her arms were actually tied to her feet in a hogtie, making her shoulders bend back uncomfortably and pushing her chest out. She’d lost count of how many times she’d been groped since they’d left her there.
Upon seeing the thief that had stolen from him caught, Buggy the Clown had declared to his crew that they would have a party to celebrate her failure. The badly-dressed band of thugs had proceeded to get roaring drunk, which led to displays of circus tricks and most of the groping. Nami had run out of rude things to say to them and now just glared with all the hatred her soul could find.
Buggy himself approached her, giving her a slap to make her look at him. Nami turned her glare on him. Of all the colorful freaks in his crew, Buggy was by far the freakiest. He wore an orange-and-yellow captain’s jacket over a red-and-white prison shirt and grey pants, with odd pointy shoes. He wore a cap with his Jolly Roger on the front, and two tassels Nami would have sworn were made from Buggy’s own blue hair. But most obvious and ridiculous of all was the vivid face paint and rubber red ball of a nose. Nami knew two things about that nose: it was, hard as it was to believe, natural, and anyone that talked about it in Buggy’s presence risked death.
“You made a very big mistake, trying to steal from me, you flashy bitch,” Buggy drawled in his voice like dying cats dropped two octaves. “I’m the most fearsome pirate in this rat’s ass of a sea. You must be pretty stupid to try and do something as dung-brained as robbing me.”
“Fuck you, you cross-eyed, fashion-retarded, rum-soaked pirate!” Nami snarled. In an alternate reality, she might have sweet-talked her way out of trouble. But after getting treated like a blow-up doll for an hour by the kind of people she despised most in all the world, all she wanted was five seconds alone with this bastard so she could tear that eyesore of a nose off with her teeth.
His response was to backhand her. She swallowed a whimper of pain. “That’s Captain Buggy to you, flashy slut. Or just master would do. You see, for the crime of trying to steal me, I’m sentencing you to being my crew’s stress relief. The boys are so much more productive when they have some ass to look forward to at the end of the day.”
“Like hell!” Nami screamed, her stomach feeling like it was getting stabbed by an icicle. Sadly, she knew what it was to have her body violated. Arlong had abused her since she’d hit puberty, just another way for him to own her and make her miserable. Over the years, stealing treasure and making enemies of pirates, she’d had to engage in survival sex more than once. But this… this was so much worse. To be reduced to a living toy… she wouldn’t let it happen.
Buggy seemed to read her thoughts. “In case you’re thinking of fighting, let me show you what you’re up against.” Turning from her, he threw his arms in the air and shouted “Men, prepare the Buggy Ball Special!”
With great ceremony, a cannon was rolled out and a giant cannonball the same color as Buggy’s nose and painted with his crest was loaded. The long fuse was lit, the crew’s excitement directly proportional to how much got consumed. Finally, the shot went off.
Nami felt the wind almost knock her chair over as the biggest, loudest cannon blast she’d ever seen consumed everything for a mile in the direction the cannon was pointed. When the spots cleared from her eyes, she could only gape at the raw devastation. She couldn’t help imagining what that Buggy Ball would do to a person. As she did, she felt hope die inside her.
Buggy turned to face her, a mad smile on his face and a sadistic glint in his eye. “Listen here, girly. You try to escape, you bite when my boys use your mouth, you say anything other than ‘more!’ or ‘I love it’, and the next Buggy Ball Special will be aimed like you.”
Nami felt tears fill her eyes. This wasn’t happening. This could not be happening. After years of pain, years of stealing from dangerous men, years of enduring the hatred and distrust of the very people she was trying to save, this couldn’t be how it ended. She couldn’t wind up some pleasure girl on a pirate ship while her village languished forever under Arlong’s thumb.
Drawing a knife from seemingly nowhere, Buggy approached Nami. She tried to move away, but she was truly unable to escape her bonds. Her heart stopped when he brought the knife down, but she felt no pain. She watched in horror as instead he sawed his way down her shirt and ripped it off, leaving her in only her bra.
“Well, boys. Let me introduce you to our new lady friend. Have at her!”
Nami felt like her heart was going to crawl up and out of her mouth. She had never felt more afraid or deeper despair. She watched the men as they approached, evil grins on their faces, their hands already in claws. Only one thought was in her mind.
‘Not like this. Not. Like. This.’
Buggy started laughing like a maniac. “Behold my power, you flashy idiots! With these Buggy Balls and my Devil’s Fruit power, I will conquer the Grand Line and become the Pirate King!”
Nami closed her eyes. She wouldn’t watch this. They could rape her, degrade her, make her want to die, but they couldn’t make her watch.
And because her eyes were closed, her ears got just the extra push to hear the whisper of “Punishment.”
The redhead’s eyes snapped open as she watched a blur of red and blue go from each of the pirates that were approaching her. Wherever it went, the circus freaks were sent flying to the other side of the roof. She blinked, and the blur solidified into a guy around her age, wearing a red vest, jean shorts, and an old straw hat. His fist was glowing with a white light that was reddish-purple-pink at the edges, which faded to reveal bronze skin.
“The man who will become the Pirate King,” he said, in a mellifluous tenor “is me.”
Nami stared. This guy was a pirate. But he saved her. And came out of nowhere. She didn’t know what to think. Her brain was still catching up from that Buggy Ball.
“Zoro,” he said, “cut her loose.”
Nami felt another presence behind her. Before she could panic, she felt the ropes binding her in place go slack. She gave a kind of flop and fell out of the chair. She turned to see the man that freed her had green hair, dirty clothes, and three katana strapped to his hip.
Buggy only seemed to process this new development then. “Hey! Who the hell are you flashy bastards?”
The mystery pirate that beat up her would-be rapists ignored Buggy, turning to face Nami on the ground. Nami felt her breath catch. Pirate or not, this guy was hot. Capital H-O-T hot. Then he took off his vest and that assessment got upgraded to burn. This guy was a smoking, hissing, third-degree BURN.
“Here,” he said, offering her his vest. Nami took a second to gather her thoughts out of the gutter before taking it. She quickly slipped it on and buttoned it up, concealing her torso from the world, or as much as she could given its size. She still had no idea what was going on. She was going with the flow.
Buggy actually stamped his foot. “Hey! Bastards! Who the fuck are you? Why did you beat up my men? And why did that flashy idiot with the straw hat say something that ridiculous?”
The now shirtless mystery man turned to face Buggy, a look of thought on his face. “Let’s see… I’m Monkey D. Luffy and this is my nakama Roronoa Zoro. I punished those guys because if there’s one thing I hate, it’s a rapist. The body is something to share with love, not take with lust. And I said I’ll become the Pirate King because I will. Did I get that in order?”
Nami felt her jaw drop as the few pirates that weren’t knocked unconscious by this Luffy started to mutter to themselves. “Roronoa Zoro? Did he say that guy was Zoro? The Pirate Hunter!”
Buggy got a sick grin on his face. “So, you’re that Roronoa. Are you here for my head?” He seemed to have ignored everything else that Luffy had said.
Nami watched as Zoro walked forward to stand beside Luffy. “Nah. I’m out of the bounty hunting business. I’m living on the other side of the law now. I’m just here because my captain wanted to see who caused that big explosion.”
Luffy started to crack his knuckles. “Your crew is full of men who would commit rape, you blew up all those houses for fun, and you’re plain ugly to boot. It’s captains like you that give pirates a bad name. I’ve decided that I don’t like you.”
Nami felt herself getting dizzy. ‘Why are pirates acting like the good guys? Why would the greatest bounty hunter in East Blue turn into a scoundrel? I don’t know what’s going on!’
Buggy seemed deaf to everything Luffy was saying. “You might have switched careers, but you’re still pretty infamous. If I killed you, my reputation would get even better!”
Zoro seemed to roll his eyes. “Mind if I deal with this guy, Luffy?”
“Don’t take too long,” the distracting pirate answered.
Buggy pulled a couple knives out of his coat and started to twirl them. Zoro took a bandana from his arm and tied it around his head before drawing his swords and getting into his infamous Santouryu stance. The peons had started to chant “Buggy, Buggy!” Luffy watched impassively while Nami was still trying to work out how in the world her situation had changed so fast.
Buggy dashed forward with a shout, while Zoro remained silent. In a flash, Zoro was on the other side of Buggy, who fell to pieces. Nami averted her eyes while Luffy’s brow wrinkled. Zoro sheathed his katana and took off his bandana. He made his way back to Luffy, walking around the latest corpse. “He was all talk.”
Despite seeing their captain killed before their eyes, Buggy’s crew didn’t seem that worried. In fact, they began to laugh. The three sane people there were puzzled.
“Why are they laughing if their boss just died?” Nami wondered aloud.
Luffy got a bad feeling.
Zoro clicked one of his swords a bit out, his back still to the pirates as he glared at them. “If you have something to say, why don’t you—”
Zoro’s threat died off as a knife pierced his side. Blood started flowing free and fast, staining his shirt red instantly. He sunk to his knees in surprise and pain.
“ZORO!” Luffy screamed, dashing to his nakama’s side. Nami was surprised too, but even more at the anguish in Luffy’s voice. He seemed in pain at seeing Zoro in pain. That was more compassion than she had ever seen in a pirate. Then she looked over at Buggy and had her mind go blank.
Luffy turned from cradling his swordsman to glare at Buggy, who was laughing like a loon while his torso floated in the air, the hand that held the bloody knife circling his head while his dismembered leg did a jig in mid-air. “That flashy moron! I ate the Chop-Chop Fruit and became a Seperationman! Blades can’t hurt me, because I can separate my body into pieces anyway. With this power and my Buggy Balls, I’m unstoppable!” As he ranted, his limbs rejoined seamlessly with his body.
‘That explains why there wasn’t any blood,’ Luffy thought. He looked down once more into the pained face of his nakama, and felt his heart harden. He stood up and turned to face Buggy. When he spoke, if his voice was angelic, it was because it was that of the Angel of Death. “I’m going to leave now to make sure Zoro’s alright. But when I get back, I am going to kick your ass all the way to the moon.”
Buggy seemed too stupid to realize the danger. He cackled again. “And what makes you think I’m just going to let you leave?”
“This.” Luffy put his hands together, like he was praying. He got a focused look in his eyes. When he pulled his hands apart, there was an orb of light in his hands, which expanded until it was the size of a beach ball. It was bright as the sun, and the same red-pink-purple that had surrounded his hands when he first appeared. Nami only stared, unable to believe her eyes. She must be dreaming. This was all some freaky nightmare that had taken a surprise turn for the better. She was going to wake up any second and the world would be a normal place once again.
“Bliss Bomb,” Luffy whispered. Then he threw the glowing ball right at Buggy. Nami was suddenly aware of someone grabbing her and carrying her. But even as she moved faster than she ever had in her life, she managed to see clearly as the strange orb got right in Buggy’s confused face.
Then the entire tavern was consumed in light. There was no sound, which made it even more eerie. As Nami drew in a breath, she caught the surprising scent of… well she wasn’t sure what it was, but it smelled better than any perfume she’d ever sniffed. Then she felt a sharp drop and realized belatedly that Luffy had grabbed her and Zoro and leapt off the building. As he landed without any trouble and began running at a ridiculous speed, Nami decided to just stop thinking and let herself get carried away by the most confusing, attractive pirate she’d ever seen.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Luffy only stopped moving when he couldn’t smell a single whiff of any of the Buggy Pirates. That meant they’d never been to this part of town. Upon realizing that, he gently laid the girl he’d rescued down on the ground. Some corner of his mind noted that she looked very cute wearing his vest, but Luffy ignored that thought. After what she’d almost been through, the last thing Luffy was going to do was make a move.
With great care, he laid Zoro down. His swordsmen seemed conscious, but his breathing was harsh and his wound was still bleeding. The greenhead looked Luffy in the eye, his own hazy, and tried to grin. “Haven’t we been here before?”
“Don’t even try to laugh this off,” Luffy told him sternly, though his own lips twitched. “Looks like he missed anything important, but you’re still bleeding really bad.” Luffy leaned down to kiss Zoro and Heal him, but the man brought up his hand to block Luffy.
“No. Let it heal normally.”
Luffy looked at Zoro like he was an idiot. “Zoro, that wound is serious. Let me make you better.”
The swordsman shook his head. “It’s my own fault for dropping my guard. This wound is a lesson. If I let you just make it vanish, I wouldn’t learn anything.”
“Now’s not the time to be proud!” Luffy retorted. “Zoro, let me Heal you. It hurts to see you like this!”
“Please, Luffy,” Zoro whispered.
Luffy looked Zoro in the eye and saw that he wouldn’t budge. Luffy sighed. He couldn’t understand, but he would respect Zoro’s decision and trust he knew what he wanted. That was what love was about.
“Can I at least find some gauze and patch it up the old-fashioned way?” Zoro seemed to deliberate before nodding weakly.
Luffy turned to look for a house that looked like it had a first-aid kit, only to find the girl had already found one. She offered it to him, almost looking confused at what her hand was doing. Luffy accepted it gratefully, before popping it open and putting what little that Dadan had pounded into his head to use.
The girl watched him work and the obvious care he showed with something like disbelief. “Who ARE you people?”
Luffy looked up from where he was taping the bandage. “Oh, how rude of me. I’m Luffy, and this is Zoro. We’re pirates.”
“Are you sure? Because I’ve never known pirates to rescue people or worry about each other.”
Luffy shrugged. “The way I see it, a pirate is someone that sets off to sea to do whatever they want. Unfortunately, the majority are selfish assholes that decide to pillage and kill and do other evil things. My idea is to chase my dreams and have a good time with my nakama. Maybe I learned it wrong, or everyone’s forgotten what it means to be a real pirate, but to me, the Jolly Roger should represent adventure, not crime.”
The cute redhead stared at him for a minute before shaking her head. “You’re insane. Pirates are vile, disgusting people that make the world a worse place. Why a decent guy like you would go around calling himself one is beyond me.”
“Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.” Luffy made sure Zoro was okay. The guy had actually fallen asleep. Luffy bit back a laugh. Zoro was almost as bad as Ace. Sure his lover would survive for the next ten minutes, Luffy stood up and turned to face the redhead fully. “So, do I get to know your name, or are pirates not allowed to?”
The girl bit her lip, seeming to weigh her options. Finally, she held out her hand. “My name’s Nami. I like money and oranges. I’m a thief that steals only from pirates. Real ones, not fakes like you.”
Luffy grinned, took her hand, and kissed it. “I assure you I am a pirate. I’m just the good kind.”
Nami blushed, but jerked her hand out of his grip. “No such thing. And pirates killed someone very important to me, so unless you want me to change my decision on not hating your guts, you’ll stop pressing the issue.”
“Only my guts? My spleen must feel so left out.” Luffy smiled to let her know he was joking.
Nami shook her head, before a confused look appeared on her face. “What the hell happened back there with Buggy? Did you… kill them or something?”
Luffy shook his head. “Bliss Bomb doesn’t do any physical damage. That building’s still standing. It just knocks anyone in range out.”
“But what is a ‘Bliss Bomb’? What’s with that weird glowing energy you use?” Nami eyed him warily.
Luffy shrugged. “That big-nosed bastard isn’t the only one that ate a fruit. I ate the Fuck-Fuck Fruit and got the power to manipulate sexual energy. Bliss Bomb works by overloading a victim’s brain with pleasure so they pass out. It takes a lot out of me to gather tangible energy like that, but I couldn’t fight them all there with Zoro hurt like that.”
Nami gaped. “And before today I thought the Devil’s Fruits were just stories. So that’s the reason for… all this?” Nami made a vague gesture at Luffy, with his perfect face, muscles, skin, tan… everything.
“You just gestured to all of me.” Luffy grinned and rubbed a hand on his taut, lean abs. “But yeah. I don’t even have to exercise. I just look like this.”
“I hate you,” Nami said without thinking. It was instinctive, seeing someone so beautiful bragging about not having to watch what they ate or any of the other things Nami had to do.
Luffy laid a hand over his heart. “Ouch. So what were you trying to steal from Buggy?”
Nami frowned at the reminder of her failure. “I wanted his map to the Grand Line. The pirates there have a lot more treasure than you find in East Blue, so I thought it would be a good career move.”
Luffy raised an eyebrow. “You can read a map? You must be a navigator!”
Nami gave Luffy a look, reevaluating his intelligence at such an asinine statement. But she smiled smugly as she answered “I’m the best navigator you’ll ever find. I know the ocean like the back of my hand.”
Luffy grinned cherubically. “That’s great! I have no idea how to navigate and Zoro could get lost walking down the street. How about you join us as our navigator? Since we’re not ‘real’ pirates, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Luffy watched as Nami gaped at his bold offer. He wasn’t planning to seduce her if she said no, he was honestly asking. She was cute, smart, had skills he needed, and seemed like a good person. But considering what he’d saved her from and her issues with pirates, he wasn’t going to press the issue. Even if she said yes, he’d let her make the first move.
Before she could answer, a bark came from their left. They both turned to see where the sudden noise came from.
Only then did Luffy notice that he had stopped right in front of a pet food shop. A small, whitish dog sat just in front of the porch, apparently standing guard. It eyed them both cautiously, keeping very still.
Luffy melted in a way typically associated with young teenage girls. “Doggie!” he shouted and dashed over to kneel by the dog. The smiling boy immediately began to pet the dog. The canine seemed shocked at the attention, but let the nice-smelling human continue. As Luffy combed out all the kinks in his fur and found that special spot behind his ears, his tail started to wag as his tongue flopped out in a doggy grin. With little hesitation, the dog flopped over onto his back, his legs kicking cutely.
“Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy? You are!” Luffy gushed as he proceeded to give the best belly rub the dog ever had in his life. Nami watched with a surprised smile on her face as the guy with the straw hat played with the dog.
‘And he calls himself a pirate? He’s not fooling anyone.’
“Hey! What are you doing to Shushu?” Luffy and Nami looked up to see an old man approaching. He had glasses and hair that looked like a poodle’s pelt, and was wearing old rusted armor over summer clothes.
“Shushu? Is that this cutie’s name?” Luffy tickled under the dog’s chin, drawing forth a series of barks that were obviously laughter. The old man seemed shocked when he got a closer look at exactly what the stranger was doing.
“Amazing. Shushu doesn’t let anyone touch him. I’m the only one who he lets feed him, and that’s because I was friends with his owner.” The old man then noticed the snoring Zoro. “Oh my word! This man needs a doctor right away!”
Luffy shrugged. “I already tried that. Even if you managed to wake him, he’d say he didn’t need one. He’s the stoic, suffer in silence, ‘it’s just a flesh wound’ type. The best you’ll manage is getting him to a proper bed.” Absentmindedly, Luffy tuned his Aura down to almost zero. Not that he had any problems with older men and women (they had all the experience), but he could see the ring on the man’s finger. That was one line he would never cross.
“I see. Mind giving me a hand then?” Luffy shrugged and ceased his attentions to Shushu, who whined in protest. Giving the dog a grin, Luffy helped the old dude pick up Zoro and take him to the guy’s house, which was all but next door to the shop. They left him on the couch and came back outside, where the man introduced himself as Mayor Boodle. Luffy handed Nami a shirt he’d snagged from the man’s house. She smiled, put it on, and by some magic known only to female kind managed to take off his vest and offer it to him without taking off the new t-shirt.
Boodle explained how he and the townspeople had fled upon Buggy’s arrival as he set up Shushu’s lunch. As the dog tucked in, Boodle also explained how Shushu’s owner had died of illness three months ago, but he still stayed. Nami raised the idea that the dog was waiting for his owner’s return, but Boodle disagreed. He asserted that Shushu knew his owner was gone, but continued to watch over the shop because it had been precious to both of them. It was Shushu’s ‘treasure’, and he was protecting it.
Luffy grinned and scratched behind Shushu’s ears. He liked this dog. He had a real pirate’s soul.
The moment was ruined by an odd roar that echoed from down the road. Boodle shot to his feet, a wide-eyed look of fear on his face.
“That was the roar of Ritchie the Lion! Mohji the Beast Tamer must be coming! He’d Buggy’s First Mate. We need to hide!”
Nami started to follow the mayor, but noticed Luffy hadn’t moved. “What are you waiting for?”
Luffy smiled at her. “I’m going to help Shushu guard the shop.” The pirate looked down at the dog in question, who was facing the vague shape in the distance with his hackles raised. “Besides, I told Buggy I was going to come kick his ass. Beating up his right-hand man will be a good warm-up.”
Aware that this guy wasn’t normal but still skeptical of how strong he could possibly be just from being inhumanely sexy, Nami turned and followed the fleeing mayor. “I wish you luck!”
Luffy waved her goodbye before turning to face his approaching enemy. Shushu growled beside him.
In no time, a massive lion was in front of them. He was oddly discolored, having green skin and a purple mane. Riding on his back was a guy Luffy had pegged as a furry in an instant. He wore a fur mantle and some odd hat that looked like animal ears. He had a respectable build, and had a whip at his hip.
“So you’re the one that set off that weird explosion. Captain Buggy wasn’t too happy with you pulling a prank like that. He sent me here to teach you a lesson and WOULD YOU PAY ATTENTION?” Mohji shouted as the pretty boy started to smooth his vest of creases.
“What’s with that weird hat?” Luffy asked.
“Hat?! This is my hair!”
“That’s even weirder.”
Mohji grit his teeth before regaining his cool. He noticed that the dumb guy was standing next to a dog in front of a pet food shop. “So, you’re trying to hoard all the food for your pet there? Well, Ritchie will clean it out after we deal with you.”
The dog barked angrily as if he understood every word. Luffy’s eyes got hard, making him look like a warrior angel. “Wrong thing to say. I see you have a whip. Well, mine’s bigger. Conjure.” With that, a thick whip made of sexual energy in its fleshy tones formed in Luffy’s right hand.
Mohji started to freak out. “How did you do that? Do you eat a fruit like the captain? If so, then I take back everything I said! I promise not to hurt you! I’ll tell Buggy I couldn’t find you! Please!”
Luffy scoffed. “Cowardice isn’t very attractive. And I never forgive a threat to one of my friends.” With that, Luffy cracked the energy whip before lashing at Mohji at the speed of sound. The man got knocked right off his perch, clutching the burning mark on his cheek. The lion, Ritchie, seemed to panic before roaring and charging at Luffy. The pirate responded by wrapping the whip around a paw and jerking to the side, sending the lion stumbling. Luffy pulled back his leg, his foot glowing with Punishment, before giving an almighty kick and sending Ritchie flying into the distance. Satisfied the cat was handled, Luffy wrapped the whip around Mohji with skill only possible when the whip was prehensile. He then dragged the already crying man towards him.
“Please! I’m sorry!” he blubbered, showing his true colors. When he couldn’t totally own a fight, he fell to pieces. Nothing but a bully.
“I want you to give Buggy a message,” Luffy said as he surveyed the pathetic man before him. “He’s next.” With that, Luffy dragged on the whip, sending Mohji into a spin. Then, with unerring accuracy, Luffy literally kicked Mohji in the ass, sending him flying to land with Ritchie right on Buggy’s little rooftop.
“Good riddance,” Luffy said. Shushu barked in agreement.
“Wow, you’re strong.” Nami reappeared from where she’d been hiding behind a corner. Boodle popped out with her.
“I can’t take this. My people struggled for 40 years to build this town, but we’re powerless to defend it. Then some whippersnapper out of nowhere swats them like flies? It’s unbearable!”
Nami turned to the old man in alarm. “Calm down, there! It’s not like it’s your fault. And he’s really not a normal guy.”
Nami would have continued to try and talk Boodle out of his rage, but she fell to the ground as the familiar roar of a Buggy Ball resounded. The very building she’d been hiding behind collapsed into dust.
When the air cleared, Boodle seemed to be even angrier. “Damn that Buggy!”
Luffy had other concerns. “Zoro was in that building!”
Shushu barked and rushed forward, his canine nose guiding him. He paused at a particular pile of rubble and leaned down to lick something.
“Well that’s a kinder wake-up call than the one I just got,” Zoro said, sitting up and patting Shushu on the head. Luffy grinned so wide his cheeks hurt at seeing his nakama alright. The brief hour of rest seemed to have done a world of good. Zoro was a really fast healer.
Boodle seemed about ready to pop a blood vessel. “My house… my town… IS NOTHING SACRED?” Picking up a spear from the ruin of his home, Boodle charged towards Buggy’s base. “I’ll show him!”
“Wait!” Nami shouted, clutching at the man’s arm. “If you fight those pirates, you’ll die!”
“I know!” he shouted back in her face, shocking her into letting him go. With impressive speed for his years, Boodle vanished into the distance.
“How much did I miss?” Zoro asked, rubbing his head.
“I made friends with a dog, met the mayor, beat up an idiot, and now we’re going to go kick Buggy’s ass. Not that much.” Luffy answered.
“The mayor… he was crying,” Nami remarked.
“Don’t worry. I like him. I won’t let him get killed.” Luffy turned to face Nami, holding out his hand. “So, you never answered my question. How’d you like to sail with us as our navigator? It’ll be fun, and I’ll help you with anything you ask.”
Nami eyed him and slapped his hand away. “I’ll never willingly become a pirate, even a fake one!” Then she grinned and put her hands on her hips. “But you guys seem pretty strong, and we seem to be going in the same direction anyway. So I’ll temporarily align myself with you. Just so we can meet our mutual goals. You understand?”
Luffy grinned. “Sure!”
XXXXXXXXXXX
Buggy grinned as he held the flashy bastard that yelled at him by the throat. “This town is your treasure you say? You flashy idiot! Treasure is silver and gold and jewels and other valuable things. This town is worth dirt!” Buggy was just about to tell his disembodied hand to squeeze when he felt a flash of pain. He watched as the stupid straw hat bastard that Mohji had been babbling about grabbed his hand, letting the mayor fall back to the ground.
“As promised, I’m back to kick your ass!” Luffy shouted, before tossing the hand back at Buggy. The clown pirate rubbed his hand, his eyes glaring with loathing at Luffy. The boy’s unnatural beauty had no sway on Buggy; he only had lust for money.
“Remember, I get all their treasure,” Nami reminded her new partners in crime.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Zoro muttered, fiddling with his swords. The pain from his wound was inconsequential. He wouldn’t lose.
Boodle seemed to catch his breath. “What are you brats doing here? This is something I have to handle myself! My pride as a man won’t allow a bunch of kids to help me!” The mayor clutched his spear and would have gone back to yelling at Buggy if Luffy hadn’t grabbed him by the head and slammed him into a wall. Unconsciousness was immediate.
“What was that for?” Nami shouted, her eyes wide. Maybe Luffy was a real pirate after all.
“He would have just gotten himself hurt. Now he’s out of the way, safe and sound.” Luffy actually leaned down to kiss the bump he put in the mayor’s head. Before her eyes it vanished. Then Luffy stepped back to face Buggy again.
“What’s with this guy?” she asked Zoro, hoping he would have a sane answer.
The swordsman got a grin on his face that seemed almost too soft for someone so fearsome. “He chases after the impossible, falls in love with complete strangers, and will die smiling. I’ve given up on trying to figure him out.”
“That didn’t really answer anything,” Nami retorted, though she noted that there seemed to be something going on between the two pirates.
Luffy took a big breath, and then shouted at the top of his lungs “BIG RED NOSE!”
Everyone in hearing distance gawped at Luffy. He had just broken the taboo. Buggy seemed to almost explode with anger. “FIRE A BUGGY BALL AT THIS FLASHY BASTARD!” In short order, the cannon was armed and aimed.
“Are we getting out of the way?” Zoro asked, calm at Luffy’s side.
“No need,” he answered. Zoro nodded, resolving to stay put.
“You two are crazy!” Nami shouted, running to a nearby alley.
“FIRE!” Buggy shouted. The ball seemed to move in slow motion as it exited the cannon and came straight at Luffy. The pirate with the straw hat simply raised his hand in a stop position.
“Rejection.”
A flat wall of Luffy’s energy appeared an inch from his open palm. The Buggy Ball hit it and instantly reversed direction, heading back at the man who had fired it. In a flash, the entire tavern the Buggy Pirates had taken over went up in a flash.
“Didn’t know you could do things like that,” Zoro remarked.
“I can directly manipulate energy. Sure it’s a specific kind that most people don’t talk about, but it’s still raw power. I can do a whole lot if I set my mind to it. So long as I have enough juice, which I shouldn’t have a problem with after all our private time.”
Nami strolled out of her hiding spot like she hadn’t run away at the first sign of danger. “You could have warned me, you know.”
“I figured the fact that I stood my ground was proof that nothing bad would happen.”
“Well, most people don’t stand up to a freaking cannonball!”
Zoro beseeched the heavens for patience. ‘Bossy, a bit of a nag. Probably a screamer. So long, peace and quiet.’ Zoro took a second to contemplate that he was evaluating someone based on how they would have sex with his boyfriend/captain, but brushed it off. He’d known what he was signing up for.
A dark laugh came from the rubble. The three turned to see Buggy unharmed, shielded by two of his crew he had grabbed and held in front of him.
“Using his own men as a shield! How low can you get?” Nami asked.
Luffy felt his fists tighten.
“Mohji was sputtering about some weird energy before he passed out. I see now what he meant. You’ve eaten a fruit, haven’t you?” Buggy asked menacingly.
“Yep, the Fuck-Fuck Fruit. So we have a human jigsaw puzzle against the strongest force known to humankind. I can’t say I like your odds.”
Buggy guffawed. “You’re dumb enough to think sex is the strongest thing in the world?”
“It fuels love and is born from lust. It forms bonds that last a lifetime and creates life itself. It is the cornerstone of our very existence. And I can use it as a weapon. So the question is, are you dumb enough not to believe me?”
Buggy grit his teeth while Nami got a contemplative look. ‘He actually has a point. We’re practically designed to have sex, it’s a driving force of nature. If he can harness that kind of power… he’s suddenly looking much more dangerous.’
“Well, that was an unpleasant surprise.” Another pirate appeared from behind Buggy, dropping the unconscious form of Ritchie by Mohji’s body, which was still steaming slightly from when Luffy kicked him. “Captain Buggy, allow me to deal with the riffraff.”
“Why certainly, Cabaji. As my chief of staff, you should be more than enough for these weaklings.”
Cabaji had hair that was two different styles, one for each side of his head. He wore a checkered blue and white scarf and rode a unicycle. He had a standard rapier at his side. He started to peddle towards them at surprising speed. “Prepare yourselves for my acrobatic swordplay!”
Zoro all but blurred and blocked Cabaji’s lunge with his white katana. “Let’s see if you actually know how to use that sword.” Zoro pushed Cabaji back, drawing his other swords and getting into his stance, uncaring of the renewed blood flow from his wound.
Luffy looked concerned. “Are you sure you’re up for this, Zoro?”
Zoro looked his captain in the eye. “If I let a little scratch like this stop me from beating this trash, there’s no hope for me being the world’s best.”
Nami rolled her eyes and turned to walk away. “I could care less if you two bang yourselves to pieces. I’m just here for the treasure while you two distract them.” She turned to look Luffy in the eye, her gruff demeanor lightening a tad. “If you’re still alive when this is over, let’s discuss working together again. See ya!”
“Bye,” Luffy said, waving as she took off.
Cabaji proved that he had ears and took off towards the alley Nami had disappeared down. “Like I’m going to let filthy thieves like you get away with our treasure!” But again, the unicyclist found his path blocked by Zoro, who held his blade in an x with the two katana in his hands. Cabaji sneered, before noticing Zoro’s bleeding wound. With an ugly smile, he swept his leg in a kick that would impact solidly with the injury. To his surprise, Zoro pushed with his blades and broke his form, sending his sword arm up and his leg off target. He got a shallow slash from the blade in Zoro’s mouth for his troubles.
Zoro looked at his hands with interest. ‘Weird. He had pretty good from, but I overpowered him. And I saw that kick coming from a mile away. I wasn’t this fast or strong even before that dumb bet.’ Zoro barred his teeth like a shark. ‘Guess Luffy wasn’t lying about all that sex making me stronger.’
Deciding to end this sooner rather than later, Zoro got into the stance for his favorite move while Cabaji was still gathering himself from the counterattack. “Oni…” Zoro whispered before he rushed forward as fast as he could. He caught a brief glimpse of widened eyes before Zoro slashed all three katana simultaneously. “Giri!” he shouted as he came to a halt behind Cabaji, who fell to the ground in a shower of blood.
“T-truly, the Pirate Hunter is a fierce adversary,” the clown swordsman moaned as he passed out.
“Not Pirate Hunter, just pirate,” Zoro corrected, sheathing his swords and untying his bandana. He turned his eye on the livid face of Buggy and felt his wound, which was loudly complaining about that last move. “Luffy, you get to deal with the clown. I think I’ll just watch.”
“I didn’t peg you for a voyeur, Zoro. But it’s nice to know I have an audience.” Luffy grinned at the blush he managed to draw onto Zoro’s cheeks. He turned his gaze on Buggy. “You ready to get your ass kicked, big-nose?”
The blue-haired pirate seemed ready to explode. “Prepare to die, you flashy motherfucker! I don’t care how pretty you are! Everyone looks the same with their skin carved off!” With that, Buggy charged forward, knives out.
Luffy rushed forward, but Buggy beat him to the punch. “Chop-Chop Rice Cracker!” the clown shouted as the blades hidden in his shoes revealed themselves and his lower half detached and began spinning like a windmill. Not seeing how in the world the attack resembled its name, Luffy still jumped up and over it.
“You can’t dodge in mid-air, idiot!” So saying, Buggy threw a knife at Luffy. The Sexyman displayed his ridiculous speed and grabbed the knife right out of the air. As he landed, he ran forward so fast he blurred, swiping the stolen knife at Buggy’s neck. “Chop-Chop Quick Escape!” Buggy shouted, his head detaching so that the knife hit nothing but air. Before the clown could do more than feel smug, Luffy used his momentum to turn and deliver a roundhouse kick to Buggy’s torso. The floating chest and arms was sent flying and Buggy’s eyes went wide in pain.
Luffy watched impassively as Buggy’s head and legs rejoined where their other parts had made an imprint in a nearby wall. “You’re slow.”
Buggy gritted his teeth. “I’ll show you slow! Chop-Chop Cannon!” Buggy launched his right hand full of knives straight at Luffy’s face. The rival captain caught his hand, and squeezed so hard he broke Buggy’s wrist before the clown could detach what was held and continue the attack. “Yeow!”
Luffy grinned tightly as he tossed the broken hand to the ground, ignoring how it floated back. “I’ll let you in on a secret, big-nose. As you might imagine, I’m a bit of a magnet for rapists and the like. And you know what I do with each one? I use their lust as a window to their life force, and I Consume it all. So for every creep that tries to violate me, I absorb a grown person’s strength, their speed, their reflexes. And I’ve had to deal with over a hundred of those monsters.”
The men of Buggy’s crew that were playing dead in the rubble of the tavern felt cold sweats run down their backs. ‘HE’S GOT THE STRENGTH OF 100 MEN!’ They one and all began their prayers for Buggy, because there was no way their captain would be able to beat this stranger.
Buggy spat at the ground. “You’re really pissing me off, you flashy bastard. It must be that straw hat. Only Shanks could piss me off this much!”
Luffy felt like someone hit him in the stomach. “Shanks? You know Shanks?”
“Know him? He ruined my life!” Buggy then broke into a rant about how he and Shanks had been on the same crew when they were both rookies, and how Shanks had ruined his plan to sell a Devil’s Fruit to fund an expedition for a sunken treasure. Then the bastard had the nerve to save him from drowning.
“So he saved your life?”
“That’s not the point! The point is that because of that red-hair bastard, all of the treasure under the sea is beyond my reach. But I decided long ago that I would settle for all the treasure on land!” The clown then detached at the waist and his upper half soared towards Nami, who had been hiding around a corner with a large bag that jingled. “Now give me back my treasure, you dirty thief!”
Luffy spent a moment marveling at the odd sight of a floating half-clown chasing a screaming girl, before turning his attention to Buggy’s stationary lower half. With no hesitation, he pulled back his leg and inflicted the pain every male fears above all else. Buggy fell like a house of cards.
Nami caught her breath, before looking at the downed pirate. “That’s what you get for trying to steal my treasure, you pirate!”
“Your treasure?” Buggy asked threateningly, looking up through the pain.
“Yes, MY treasure. I stole it fair and square, so that makes it mine!” Nami shouted, clutching the bag like it was filled with gold, because it was.
It was then that Buggy snapped.
“Chop-Chop Festival!” the clown screamed, as he separated into as many pieces as he could. They started to harass Nami like a horde of bees, who screamed and began to run again. She tried to whack Buggy’s face with her heavy treasure bag, but Buggy caught it. Before he could say anything, Luffy appeared from nowhere and kicked his head. The bag tore as all of Buggy’s parts went limp.
Buggy’s floating head turned to glare at Luffy. “That does it! I’ll show you, you flashy fucker! Chop-Chop Reassemble!”
Luffy took one look before he broke out laughing.
Buggy glanced down in horror at his reassembled body. He was literally only a head, two hands, and two feet. Anatomical impossibilities aside, it was also very humiliating.
“Looking for these?” Nami asked, a sly grin on her face. In the space of a few seconds, she had managed to tie up all of Buggy’s parts with some handy rope.
“I like your style!” Luffy shouted as he started to run towards Little Buggy.
“Wait, wait, wait! We can talk this out! You flashy bastard!” the clown shouted hysterically.
Luffy pulled back his fist, which began to glow so bright with energy that it was hard to look at. “Raw Punishment!” he shouted as he delivered a savage uppercut. Buggy was sent flying into the distance with the roar of a sonic boom.
Luffy grinned. “I said I’d kick his ass to the moon. Too bad he’s missing his ass.”
Nami shrugged. “Alright, you’re officially so strong it’s stupid. We can work together for now.” She gathered the spilled treasure and split it between two new bags. “What a haul! This must all be worth 10 million Beri!”
Luffy raised an eyebrow. “Is there a reason you need all this money?”
Nami glanced at him sharply. “I need to get 100 million Beri. Now help me carry these.”
Luffy shrugged. If Nami wanted to be secretive, he’d give her time.
They just got back to where Zoro was dragging himself up from lying against a wall when the real chaos started. The entire town showed up, wondering what all the strange noises had been, when they caught sight of the downed Mayor. Nami was just starting to relax from seeing the mob when Luffy clearly and loudly apologized for having to knock the Mayor out. When the soon-to-be-angry mob questioned if they were pirates, Luffy answered yes without hesitation. Which led to the three running for quite possibly their lives as they whole town chased them armed with literal pitchforks.
“Why the hell did you tell them we were pirates?” Nami questioned angrily.
“I was just being honest,” Luffy answered.
“Yes, but there was more to the situation! You could have explained it and we wouldn’t be in danger right now!”
“They would have been angry anyway. They love that old guy. We were just convenient targets. We’re turning right.”
Nami skidded as she tried to keep up with Luffy as he suddenly switched direction. Zoro had no such problems, seeming to read his captain’s mind. Just as the mob reached the corner they’d just turned, Shushu appeared, barking up a storm. The entire mob stopped in their tracks.
Luffy grinned. He really liked that dog. “Thanks, doggie!” he shouted as he and his crew of one and a half took off for the docks.
They had just cast off, Luffy commenting on Nami’s flag still having Buggy’s crest, when Boodle appeared on the dock. “You brats! Thank you for everything!”
Luffy grinned and waved back. The boats had just pulled out of sight when Nami noticed something. “Wait! Turn back! We’re missing one of the treasure bags!”
“Yeah, I left it back there.”
Nami froze. Zoro raised an eyebrow as he felt a formidable amount of killing intent leak into the air. Maybe he and this chick could get along after all.
“You moron! That bag alone was worth 5 million Beri!”
“Yeah, but they’ll need money to repair all the damage Buggy did.”
With a cry of rage, Nami grabbed Luffy by his luscious locks and tried to push his head into the water.
“Hey! Watch it! I’ll drown!”
“That’s why I’m doing it!”
Zoro laughed as his captain and their new ally fought for life and death. Then a thought popped into his head.
‘I really hope she’s a heavy sleeper.’
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'Sexy Devil' Luffy