Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Blind Fury	By : HollowedRose Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 6534 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!! and its characters. They belong to Ryohgo Narita. I'm not making any profit from this.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Heiwajima Shizuo had been labeled as many things during his lifetime: monster, beast, brute, protozoan, freak, as well as many other nicknames people had given him over the years, but none of them were anywhere near as terrible as the appalling title of rapist. The thought hit him when he got home and he started to undress in order to take a shower. His body grew cold at the sight of Izaya's blood staining his clothes: blood from the injuries he had inflicted on the man's head after repeatedly slamming it into the ground, from the pale slender thigh he'd thrusted the switchblade into with absolute cruelty, from fucking him so viciously into the ground that he ended up tearing his insides just so that he could hear more of those agonizing cries.

He hated Izaya so much that he hadn't been able to stop himself from doing it. It was as though he'd been possessed by something much worse than the monster that usually took over whenever he got angry. This new monster relished the thought of inflicting pain, it loved seeing Izaya powerless, unable to escape his grasp, and each time his prey had tried to stay quiet, the monster would only ram into him harder, wanting to hear more screams.

That had been then though, back when he was still drowning in hatred and fury, but he no longer felt the same way. He simply stood there, naked inside the bathroom, staring at the bloody clothes thrown into the dirty clothes bin while his stomach roiled with sickening intensity as images of the ferocious assault viciously flooded his mind. He had raped the louse for god's sake. It was sick. He was sick. A shiver ran down his spine. Shit! How could I―

There was a knock on the door then and the sound almost made him jump out of his skin. He grabbed the bathrobe with a trembling hand and pulled it on, all the while trying not to think of Izaya's blood still covering some parts of his body. It felt disgusting to walk around like that, but he had no choice when the person who was looking for him kept knocking instead of giving up and leaving. Cursing under his breath, he walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom before he crossed the small hallway and the living room so that he could open the door, immediately freezing in his tracks when he heard the voice behind it.

"Nii-san, open the door!"

Shizuo's whole body shuddered in alarm because the thought of his little brother finding out about the horrible things he had done to Izaya scared him more than anything in the world.

"I know you're in there, so please open the door before I use the key you gave me," Kasuka threatened.

Shizuo broke into a cold sweat. "I'm coming," he finally answered in a trembling voice and reluctantly dragged his body towards the door.

Kasuka waited patiently outside. He was still hoping that his assumption had been wrong and that Shizuo was not the one who had assaulted Izaya. His brother was the easiest person to read, which was why he was almost too afraid to see the man's face because he would instantly know if he was guilty or not. The lock clicked and the door slowly opened, revealing Shizuo's startled face, and that's when Kasuka knew that his brother had done it.

"Why are you here?" The question was asked in an unsteady voice and Shizuo feared that Kasuka might be able to tell that something was wrong. After the shitty day he'd had, Kasuka was the last person in the world he wanted to see, especially after the note he had gotten from him earlier that morning.

"I have something to talk to you about, please let me in."

Shizuo's knees almost buckled, the thought of having a conversation with Kasuka while he was still covered in Izaya's blood making him feel faint. He had to get rid of him. "I was about to take a shower..." he tried and hoped that Kasuka would understand and come back another time, even though he wasn't sure that he would ever get the courage to face him again even if he came back. He felt too ashamed at having disappointed him once again after promising to do everything in his power to not get fired from his job at the bar.

Kasuka's already half-closed eyes infinitesimally narrowed. "Nii-san, let me in now," he demanded and then pushed the door, the thing opening with almost no resistance at all as though Shizuo's muscles had suddenly turned to jelly. He immediately noticed the blood smudges on Shizuo's hands but said nothing, first wanting to properly assess the situation before making any accusations. Tearing his eyes away from what was most likely Izaya's blood, he walked inside and sat down on the couch. Shizuo followed behind him like a lost puppy, all the while avoiding his eyes as though he was too ashamed to face him. "Sit down, nii-san," he ordered and patted the spot beside him.

Shizuo's body jolted in shock and he suddenly felt colder than ever, as though he was nothing more than a corpse, still moving around because he was cursed, doomed to forever roam the Earth as atonement for his sins against Izaya. Such a filthy creature had no right to be anywhere near someone like his little brother, and yet he had no choice but to sit down.

Kasuka looked him up and down, analyzing him with a critical eye. Although the man was wearing a bathrobe, he couldn't hide the blood smudges on his face, hands and collar bone, which meant that Shizuo hadn't lied when he said that he was about to take a shower. That, along with the slumped shoulders and the adamant refusal to meet his eyes was all the proof he needed.

"Why are you here?" Shizuo asked again, this time in a strained voice.

"I sometimes take walks by myself when it rains because there aren't many people on the streets and I can move around without being recognized."

"You shouldn't do that. It's dangerous. You could get hurt. There are some really sick people out there," Shizuo scolded him, clenching his fists tighter. Like me.

Deciding there was no point in dragging it on, Kasuka cut straight to the subject. "I ran into Orihara-san earlier," he ruthlessly dropped the bomb.

Shizuo's body shook and his heart sped up to an insane rhythm inside his rib cage, the noise so loud that he could hardly hear himself think. Body nearly vibrating with dread, he raised his head and locked eyes with Kasuka even though he knew that his little brother would read the shame and panic in them. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out, as though the connection between his brain and his vocal cords had suddenly been severed.

"He was badly injured; he almost died, but you already know that, don't you, nii-san?"

Shizuo felt the world starting to spin around him as the memory of brutally assaulting Izaya and then leaving him to bleed to death in a filthy alley almost made him throw up right then and there. He was a terrible human being... no, not a human being, a monster, just an animal deserving a slow and painful death.

"Right, nii-san?" Kasuka continued in a tone as emotionless as ever. "Nii-san...?"

Shizuo couldn't hear anymore, his aching heart slamming itself so viciously against his rib cage that he thought it would rip right through his chest. He simply couldn't stand the idea of Kasuka being disgusted by him. Out of nowhere, he felt something touch his shoulder and he abruptly lashed out without thinking, his body acting on instinct as a result of the too many fights he had been forced into over the years. When some semblance of sanity came back to him he was pinning Kasuka against the coffee table, one hand around the slender neck and the other around his brother's right wrist. He couldn't move, let alone think of a way to fix whatever the hell it was that he was doing.To make things worse, it felt as though an invisible fist was gripping his heart and squeezing it without mercy as punishment for attacking his little brother. Struck by shock, he just stared, Kasuka's calm expression only serving to further increase his distress. Those seemingly emotionless eyes always brought out the worst in him, as though his little brother's general lack of reaction somehow fueled his anger.

Kasuka lightly brushed Shizuo's cheek with his free hand, the despair his older brother exuded bringing unwanted pain to his heart. "Nii-san, calm down," he spoke in a tone much softer than his usual monotone one.

Shizuo nuzzled into the touch despite the feeling of it burning his skin like molten lava. He swallowed the lump in his throat but still didn't let go, afraid that Kasuka would leave and that he would never be able to see him again. He loved his little brother more than anything in the world, and he knew that he would be crushed if Kasuka decided that he'd had enough and walked out the door without ever looking back. Not that he could ever blame him if he decided to erase him from his life. Shizuo knew that he was a monster and that sooner or later he would end up breaking the people he loved. Thinking that it would be best if Kasuka hated him, he tightened the fingers around the pale neck, not missing the way in which his little brother stiffened at the gesture. "Now you know, Kasuka, now you know what kind of monster I am," he said through clenched teeth and swallowed hard, dejection lacing his words. Of course his little brother knew, and Shizuo was certain that Kasuka not only despised him but that he was also afraid of him.

Meanwhile, Kasuka kept gazing into the tumultuous honey-brown eyes while trying to figure out what was going on inside Shizuo's head. He knew better than anyone how much his brother hated violence, so he couldn't understand why Shizuo had gone as far as to rape Izaya. He didn't even remember his sibling ever expressing any interest towards the same sex, so it was puzzling that he would sexually assault a man, unless he had completely lost himself to his anger, more so than ever before, in which case he could've done it as a way to destroy Izaya. The rush he might've felt at finally capturing the person he hated the most in the world could've drove him to it. Even so, it was too much even for Shizuo. "You're not a monster, nii-san," he spoke softly even though he knew that what Shizuo had done was truly monstrous.

"I am! Can't you see that?!" Shizuo shouted in despair, his left hand slamming down on the coffee table near the right side of Kasuka's head as though he was trying to prove just how much of a monster he was. And yet he couldn't find it in himself to drum up the needed ruthlessness to chase his little brother away from his apartment and consequently from his life. "These bloody hands that are pinning you down right now did the same thing to that accursed louse! You... you can't even imagine what I did to him, how I hurt him, how much I enjoyed it! What if I lose it and I hurt you?" he blurted out, his voice faltering as he fought to breathe. "What if I lose it and I―"

"I'm not Orihara Izaya," Kasuka spoke calmly, unfazed by the earlier display of violence. If Shizuo thought that he could scare him into running away, then his older brother had another thing coming, especially when Kasuka couldn't remember a time when he had ever been hurt by him.

"So what?! I'm still a monster!" Shizuo growled out the words.

"You're not going to hurt me, nii-san," Kasuka stated with absolute certainty.

"How can you be so sure about that?!"

"Because I know you. I'm not here to judge you; I only want to help you." Kasuka's voice had been soft, and he raised his hand to touch Shizuo's wan face for a few moments before moving it upwards and running his fingers though tousled blonde hair, his eyes unwillingly being drawn to the blood smudge just below the stiff jaw. How could you do such a thing, he thought sadly, the grip on his throat finally relaxing after what felt like an eternity. Taking it as a sign to continue, he looked him straight in the eyes. "Please, nii-san, let me help you."

Shizuo nearly wept as he heard those words come out of his little brother's mouth, Kasuka's gentle touches swiftly putting out the fire that was his anger. Overwhelmed by the unconditional love, he removed his hand from around Kasuka's neck and slumped backwards on the couch, strong hands going up and tugging at his hair in despair. "How could I do that to him? How could I enjoy seeing him cry while I was... while I was... I deserve to die! " he cried out, voice cracking towards the end. He felt Kasuka pull him into a hug and he tried to draw back, but hands that held startling strength tightened around his torso and refused to let go. Trapped, he shuddered in the tight embrace, hating himself for tainting Kasuka with his cursed existence. I don't deserve this! I don't deserve him!
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Blind Fury