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Memories Consume	By : Jeichan Category: Gravitation > General Views: 967 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, nor its characters. I make no money from writing this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
Memories Consume:
Chapter four:
Ryuuichi's POV:
"The first thing you should know is that my real-family name isn't Sakuma." I

said, staring into Tohma's pale eyes, searching for acceptance. "I was adopted

when I was sixteen by a foster family I was living with."
Tohma stared into my eyes and held onto my hand, I could see the surprise he

felt through his subtle actions - how he breathed in, the slight widening of his

eyes. I knew he was surprised though he tried to hide behind his façade again.
"What...what happened to your real family, Ryuu?"
"They died...when I was twelve..." I felt tears fill my eyes as I remembered that

day.
"I'm sorry, Ryuu. I...losing your family, I can't think how terrible it could

be..."
"Thank you, Tohma. I'd rather you just listen though, while I talk...I..."
"All right, Ryuu. Continue, I'll remain quiet."
Shuddering I drew a breath and released it, holding dearly onto Kumagoro.
"My family...I...wasn't really sad to lose them—I...my sister I miss terribly, but my

parents..."
My father's image filled my head, overwhelming my thoughts as I struggled to

continue.
'You'll really gonna tell him? You really think he will not judge you once he

knows?' The dreaded voice spoke up again, though this time I focused on Kumagoro

instead.
Even as the image of the house I lived in during the first twelve years of my

life overwhelmed my mental senses, I focused on Kumagoro - on the comfort he

brought to me as the memories flooded back. I decided to tell Tohma about each

memory as it appeared to me, regardless of the order the events occurred in

life.
'That day, the day the fire happened that took my family from me, started

calmly - at least calm for my family. There was shouting, cussing - but no hitting,

thankfully - and my sister slept soundly in her crib throughout it all.
The sunlight shining barely through the grime of the dirty windows of my room, I

read by the feeble light - I could've turned on the lamp plugged into the wall,

but if my father or mother saw the light on during day I would've at least get

grounded. We didn't have money to spend on such luxury.
Even the bathes we took were scarce - only once a week, if father allowed it. And

the laundry was the same - one day a week, and we didn't have a machine to wash

it, all the washing was by hand. I hated laundry day for the work, but I longed

for having clean clothes.
I remember how all the kids in school teased me about what I wore - which I never

got to pick out what my parents bought, if they bought me clothes at all.

Usually they got the clothes from kind neighbors, or relatives - every article

secondhand with holes and stains already on it.
I hummed as I read, not knowing any songs well enough to sing lyrics to, not

that it mattered, I barely registered humming as I was so lost in the book. I

didn't even hear when my father got home, though I knew he must've been loud

from all the damage he did to the house.
"Ryuuichi!" His voice bellowed through my thoughts finally, startling me almost

to tears - I could hear his anger in his tone, fear whelming up from knowing that

he probably called me a few times before I heard. "RYUUICHI!"
"I'm comin, Father." I hurried out the room and down the hall, shaking in fear

as my face turned red - from embarrassment over my words. I hated saying those

words—they were the words he made me say when he...took me into his room and...
Unconsciously I shuddered, tears threatening to fall though I held them

back—father never liked tears, never liked seeing them on my face except when...
Again I tried not to think of it, and instead ran to where my father stood ready

to shout for me again. When I reached him I trembled visibly, for some reason

more afraid now than ever - something hinted to me that things weren't all

right - something was amiss.
I tried to shake it off but couldn't, I tried to tell myself the fear was

groundless - unexplainable and false, but I couldn't stop worrying.
I was about two steps away from him when I saw the gun in his hand—that

sickening fear whelmed through me that second, quelling my automatic compliance

to father's call.
Trembling more, I rushed away from him, thankful that he hadn't seemed to see

me...
I broke off here, tears flowing down my face as I looked at Tohma, trembling as

I remembered my fear. The terror I felt had been so real, I reacted to it on

instinct - and I hid from the world around me in the crawl space that used to be a

ventilation system in my room.
"I remained hidden, even when I heard father shouting, things crashing,

breaking." I closed my eyes and held Kumagoro closer, taking in a deep breath

before speaking again. "I stood hidden even when I heard the gun go off...I just

froze then and...about fifteen minutes later I smelled smoke."
"Ryuu...I..."
"I just can't help wondering if I could've...if I had tried...I could've saved my

sister, but I couldn't...I was too frightened...Tohma..."
"It's okay Ryuu...you were a child, no one could expect you to be brave to..."
"But I'm the only one who ever looked after her...I cared for her the most...and I

left her in the house when I escaped through the ventilation space to the

outside."
I felt warm tears fall down my cheeks, and I couldn't say anything more about

that day...I could feel the voice threaten to overpower me again and I knew I

wouldn't be able to resist it.
"Ryuu, you can rest for a few minutes if you want...calm down and stuff..."
"Thanks Tohma." I nodded and kissed Kumagoro's forehead.
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Memories Consume