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Lion's Pride	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 10067 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima. I make no money writing this. I do it for my own pleasure. Any lyrics are my own or I received permission from the artist.

Chapter List
- 39
- 40
- 41
"Screw the rules, damn the consequences, and just love. Love until it kills you, because there's nothing better worth dying for." - Karen Amanda Hooper

Chapter 40

The Consequences of Loving
Mama, I learned something important on my adventure to Kohinur and back.
Love has some damning consequences.
Love also doesn't go away easily. I almost wish it did. I wish I could close my heart to it. Like in that fairy tale of the Heartless Lion, the lion-prince cut out his heart except for the piece that loved the princess. I wish I could just cut out the piece that loves Loke. I wish I could forget, because remembering hurts so bad I want to die.
Loving Loke...I wonder if it was a mistake. How deeply did he really love me back? He's immortal, after all. He has known many women. Maybe having me as a lover was just another conquest in a long line of women he has wooed. I can't honestly make myself believe that, but...it hurts, Mama. It hurts bad.
Why did he leave us?
Aries insisted he did it to save us, and when she talks about Piscis Austrinus, that fishman who calls himself Haftorang, she shakes more than usual. I can tell he's immensely powerful by how scared she looks whenever she thinks about him. He was strong enough to defeat Loke and Gray. Plus that woman Kefira defeated Natsu so easily, and when I was kidnapped both Natsu and Gajeel together fought her yet couldn't win. Aries told me that during the wars with Zeref, it took an entire army of elite mages to defeat Kefira alone. A handful of mages like what we had on Hoshinoue Island would have done nothing but annoy her.
She's just too powerful!
So how do I get Loke back from her? Would he want to come back? What if he still loves her?
It feels lonely not having Loke's key. He didn't even leave behind his ring, or else I could use the Regulus Key. It has a missing piece in the key bitting, and I guess that's where Loke's ring stone would fit in. Broken as it is, there's nothing I can do with it. It's useless!
If he had just left his ring, I could have used this stupid Regulus Key, brought Loke into his full power, and we could have defeated Kefira and Haftorang by now. So why didn't he leave it behind? Did he not want me to use it? If he truly wanted to be with Kefira, why didn't he take the Regulus Key too?
I don't understand! What the hell was that idiot Lion thinking when he did that?
And I...I feel guilty, Mama. He left us to protect us because I wasn't strong enough to fight Kefira. Even with all my Spirits there to support me, I was too weak. Loke used himself as a consolation prize, a sacrifice. Kefira wanted Luke to help her find the Key to the Lion's Heart. Instead, Loke left behind that Regulus Key and gave over himself instead of our son.
WHY? If he obviously has no plan to help Kefira find the Regulus Key, why did he leave with her? Why take the Lion's Key as well?
I think about what they might be doing now, and it makes me sick! I don't want to imagine it, yet my head keeps picturing Kefira and Loke kissing happily. He must have known she still had feelings for him, and if she forced him to remain as her lover before, maybe she could do it again. I hate it! I hate the idea of Loke being with any other woman. Especially her! Especially someone he loved so much in his past! Whenever I think about it, I want to hate him, because...
Because, after all, he's the proud Lion and...and lions have harems.
Mama, I wish I could stop being in love with him. I wish I could carve out those feelings, purge the memory, just forget about what we shared, those dreams of the future, our foolish fantasies...but whenever I see Luke, I see Loke. There's so much of Loke in him, I can't escape.
And Luke...he's been so sick. I guess Loke was telling the truth. I don't want to give up my son, but if I keep holding on to him I just might lose him. I know I could summon any of my Spirits to take Luke to the Spirit World, but I can't bring myself to do it. Loke took everything but left behind the Regulus Key and our son, so I don't want to give him up! If I do, it's like I'm giving up on the last frayed strand of the red string binding me and Loke together.
There has to be a way to save Luke and keep him here. There has to be! It's immensely selfish of me, but I just can't bear the thought of losing him too. I don't know what to do, Mama. I feel like as a mother—and as a lover—I am a complete failure!

Lucy watched worriedly as Porlyusica inspected Luke. Wendy stood nearby, observing like a good apprentice. At a nearby table, Gray and Natsu sat quietly, both frowning at how helpless they felt, unable to do anything for their friend. After a long time, the old pink-haired healer straightened up and shook her head. Her wrinkled face looked even more sour at having to give a young mother bad news.
"Vitality deprivation," she said in conclusion to her diagnosis. "I had suspicions that a half-Spirit might suffer from it, but I expected to see signs within weeks to a month. When half a year passed and he was fine, I thought perhaps he had inherited a Human's vitality. Apparently not, although his must be very high to have lasted so long without complications. You said he began showing signs on your journey?"
"The nightmares began a couple weeks into the trip," Lucy answered in a weak voice, tired from sleepless nights dealing with a crying child and her own tears of grief.
"And his health turned bad two months ago, you said."
"Yes, he began complaining more about headaches while we were on Hoshinoue Island. We thought it was the proximity to the Regulus Key," Lucy explained.
"No. If anything, items from the Spirit World might help him, like these clothes," Porlyusica observed, tugging on a decorative blue and gold outfit the toddler wore.
"Virgo brought them. She said they might help. She also gave me more seirei tea. I've been giving it to him a few times a day. It helped on our sailing voyage back from Kohinur, but by the end of July he got the headaches back. It's now almost September, and his headaches are getting worse. He's not sleeping, he barely eats, he's lethargic and cranky and..."
The child got annoyed by Porlyusica's poking and prodding. "It hurts!" he screamed.
His fist lit up, and he punched the old woman in the gut. Lucy grabbed him and yanked him back. In a tantrum, he aimed a hit at her as well. Although his hands were so tiny, it felt like her rib almost broke. Natsu sprang forward to grab the toddler into his arms, effectively comforting and immobilizing Luke while the boy continued to thrash in frustration.
"And he's been doing that," Lucy coughed, rubbing out her side while Porlyusica tried to catch her breath through the sharp pain where the child had hit her. "I'm so sorry."
"I've dealt with worse from patients," the old woman assured. "I really am sorry, but this isn't something I can fix. I don't know much about Celestial Spirits, but I do know that the only way for them to regain their vitality is to return to their own realm."
Lucy felt anger well up inside her. "If I do that, they won't return him. They plan on keeping him for hundreds of years."
"It hurts!" Luke wailed, squirming to break free from Natsu. "I hate you! I hate you!"
Lucy was nearly in tears as she watched her son fighting to break loose.
"I'll warn you this," Porlyusica said firmly. "Intense levels of pain and hatred at such a young age can corrupt the magic within a mage. He would grow up with dark thoughts of using his magic for evil, and those thoughts can easily become deeds. However, in Luke's case, that won't be a problem."
Lucy's eyes lit up with momentary hope. "It won't be?"
"No, because if he continues to lose vitality at this rate, he'll die before winter." The ancient healer watched callously as that hope in Lucy's huge brown eyes fell to icy dread. Delivering bad news was always hard, but it was part of being a healer. Sometimes you delivered miracles, sometimes you had to tell someone they only had months to live. "There's truly nothing more I can do. Now get out of my house. You all stink!"
Lucy was numbed by the news, so Gray came forward to guide her out before the cranky old healer smacked them with her broom.
"Naked stinkbag," the old woman snapped. "Pick up your clothes before you go."
"Huh?" Gray looked down and realized he was only wearing his boxers. "Ack! I did it again!" He quickly began searching around and putting on his clothes as he found them.
At the door, Lucy stopped and looked around fast. "Find a way!" she shouted. "If anyone can figure out how to save my son, it's you, Porlyusica. So please...please," she begged, "find a way!" Then she walked out with Natsu.
Wendy watched Lucy go with a pout. Once the blonde was far down the path, she asked, "Can't we do anything?"
"He's not wholly Human," Porlyusica said with a sad note to her voice. Gray paused in his search to listen in. "I can look up in my tomes for anything about Celestial Spirits, but if there was a way to keep one in the Human World then it'd be the Spirits who'd know, and if the best they can do is give him some magical tea and garments, then it means there's nothing more. I doubt Lucy would agree to let me experiment on one of her Spirits. Like that weird dog of hers, he's small so he'd be a good test subject, but to test something like vitality deprivation, there's a chance I could kill the Spirit."
"No way!" Wendy gasped. "You can't kill Plue."
"That's the risk of medical experimentation. That girl needs to be a little less stubborn and more mindful of her child's needs, even if it means giving him up."
"But that's too mean," Wendy whispered. "Please, Grandeeney..."
"I told you not to call me that," she snapped fast.
"Please, try looking up for some way to save him."
The old woman gave a weary sigh, then rubbed out the punch to her stomach again. "For your sake, little one, I'll try. I don't have much hope of finding anything, though. Keep an eye on him, and I'll try sending letters to a few other healers I know."
"Thank you very much!" Wendy smiled, then she rushed out the door to chase after the others.
Gray was finally dressed, and he stood in front of the old pink-haired woman. "Please do try. We fought hard so Lucy could keep her son. I don't want her to have to give him up now because of this."
Her red eyes flashed up at him. Porlyusica might not be a mage, but somehow her glares felt like acid. "You're close to her, aren't you?"
Gray swallowed hard at the accusation in her words. "We're friends. Best friends."
"Then be a friend," she said sharply. "That girl's mental state is severely messed up. She might try something stupid."
"You mean..." Gray quickly looked out of the forest home and down the road to where their group was about to head down a hill that would take them out of view. A shiver of dread ran down his spine. "Lucy would never commit suicide."
"That's not exactly what I was talking about, but I guess it's a possibility too. She's definitely depressed. Keep an eye on her for a while. Make sure she doesn't try anything foolish. Protect her...as a friend!"
Gray pouted at the stressed words, but he nodded before leaving to catch up with the others. She was right; Lucy had been out of sorts since that day on Hoshinoue Island. Gray could not remember anything after his fight with Kefira, but he heard that Lucy had tried—and failed—to stand up against Kefira and Haftorang combined. After having fought the fishman and witnessing the trouble Loke had with the ancient noble, he realized that such a stand was hopelessly futile. Lucy never could have won, even with all of her Spirits. Still, just the fact that she tried impressed him. Lucy had guts, and he admired that.
Down the road, Natsu's sensitive ears had overheard Porlyusica's bleak outlook. He looked down at the toddler who had once again gone lethargic and fell asleep in his arms while hugging the trailing end of Natsu's scarf like a security blanket. His orange and blond hair spiked out like Loke's, with his brown eyes closed they appeared just like Loke's, yet his face and smile were Lucy's.
"We'll take care of you, kid," he whispered, adjusting his hold to make it more comfortable on the child. "Don't you worry. You're godfather is here to look after you. I won't let anything bad happen."
They took Lucy back to her room at Fairy Hills, although the landlady grumbled about all the men who kept showing up lately. Wendy left back to her room, Natsu placed Luke in his crib and then took off to meet Happy for a job, but Gray stuck around. Porlyusica's warning bothered him, and now he was almost afraid to take his eyes off of her for more than a few minutes. Lucy mindlessly began to fix tea.
"Gray," she said quietly from the kitchen. "Is this pointless? Should I just hand him over?"
He walked up behind her and rubbed the tension out of her shoulders with his cool hands. "You're the only one who can decide that, Lucy."
"I...don't know," she sniffed, staring at the kettle sitting on the stove while Gray's hands eased her muscles. "I have no clue what I should do, or what I want. I'm...lost. I just want things to go back to how they used to be."
"With you and Loke raising Luke as a family?" he asked.
She leaned back against his chest and closed her eyes. "No, further back. To the days of just us four: you, me, Natsu, and Erza. I want to go back to crazy jobs and fun times hanging out at my home. I want to go back before Acnologia, before we lost seven years, before everything that happened afterward. I wish there was a way to go back, change one choice, and rewrite all of that grief."
"We'd also be rewriting a lot of good times."
She turned around and looked into his face. Slowly, her hand stretched up and stroked through his raven hair. "We could make our own good times."
Gray swallowed hard, and it felt like his heart might beat out of his chest. Lucy's soft fingers grazed over the scar above his eyebrow.
"I remember when I treated this. I warned you it'd leave a scar. I still remember what you said. 'I don't care where I get hurt, as long as my injuries are visible.' I thought that was a really cool thing for you to say. I think it was then that I stopped thinking of you as just the weird ice mage with a stripping habit and...maybe...you could be a cool guy as well."
"Lucy," Gray whispered in shock.
She began to lean in closer to him. Her eyes lowered off the scar and onto his lips. "You've stuck by me all this time. I want to thank you."
Gray felt himself break into a cold sweat. He watched in shock as Lucy leaned in closer and closer. He opened his mouth to try saying something, but his throat was too tight even to swallow. He realized now what Porlyusica meant.
Make sure she doesn't try anything foolish. Protect her...as a friend!
Suddenly, Gray's hands shot out, holding her shoulders and pushing her lips just out of reach. Lucy's eyes opened in surprise at being rejected, and even more shock at the torment in Gray's face.
"I can't," he gnashed in anguish. "As Loke's friend, I can't betray him. You shouldn't either. If you did," he whispered, "you'd only regret it. Loke..."
"Loke left me!" she shouted furiously. "He didn't even leave me his key. He left behind nothing!"
"He sacrificed himself for you and Luke," Gray yelled back. "Lucy, he came there to take Luke to the Spirit World, but look what he did: he left him behind! That's what he left you! He could have just taken Luke and fled to the Spirit World, but he didn't. He wanted to protect you at any cost. Natsu and I would have done the same, but in this case the only person who could have appeased that old queen was Loke."
"But...if I had his ring..."
"The fishman used to be his friend, right? He would know immediately if Loke was missing his ring, and Kefira would just have gone after you again to get it. Loke knew what he was doing. Same with the Lion's Key. You were unconscious, Lucy. All three of us were. None of us could have done anything to help him, and he had no clue when any of us would finally wake up. Loke had to act immediately or you, me, Natsu, and Luke would have been killed. He had to severe all ties with you, anything that would have made Kefira want you. He left behind the Regulus Key for you to guard, and he gave you freedom."
"Yes, and he freely left with that bitch who wants him as her sex toy. She wants him wholly as her own. He told me before, she had the ability to force him to remain as her lover. Right now he's probably...he's...with her..."
She broke down into tears, and Gray grabbed her quickly, letting her bury her face into his white coat. He stroked her hair and rested his chin on her head, cradling her as she finally released all her anger.
"Let it out," he said softly.
"I hate him!" she shrieked. "Why would he do that? Even...even for me." She hiccuped a sob and pounded her fists on Gray in anger while he stood there accepting her weak outburst. "If I had just handed Luke over...or if I had been quicker and used the Regulus Key when he told me to...if I had...just...been stronger!"
"Same here," Gray admitted. "Don't you think I feel the same way? I couldn't protect you. I was so weak, Loke had to go off and do that. I was no match for one lousy Celestial Spirit. Don't you think I feel just as guilty?"
Lucy leaned back in surprise at the spite in his words. She honestly had not considered how Gray and Natsu must feel. She knew those two had protected her for years. To fail now must have been a huge blow to them.
"Lucy," Gray said, staring hard down at her. "Loke accused me of seducing you. Maybe I unconsciously tried, I don't know, but since he challenged me on it, I...I can't take his place, not in that way. I can be a friend, but nothing more. It isn't right, and it isn't fair to you."
Her blush went brighter, and her head fell in shame. "Maybe...me, too. Maybe I'm guilty of...well...of at least being a little too close to you. Sorry."
He smiled at the small confession and tapped her chin up to look at him. "I can't steal you away from him, but I promise to stay by your side until you heart stops hurting. When that day comes, if you don't want Loke, if you're still interested, if it's what you truly want...I'll be there for you, damn all the consequences."
Her face twisted a little as she thought about what she truly wanted. She was angry, but not so much at Loke. She realized just then that who really made her angry...was herself!
"Thanks, Gray," she muttered. "Could you just hold me for today? Would that be okay?"
He chuckled, finding her timid side to be unbearably cute. "Sure, I can do that much. It's what a true friend would do, right?"
He pulled her over to the couch, sat down, and she sat next to him. Hesitantly, now aware of her guilt, Lucy rested her head on his shoulder. Instead, Gray wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in closer. Lucy blushed, but she accepted his chest to rest against. Tears dripped down silently as she listened to his heartbeat and felt gentle peace finally returning to her soul.
"Hey Gray?" she asked, and he hummed back to her. "Juvia was bugging me yesterday about you. You know, the whole love rival thing she likes to obsess about."
"Ignore her," he mumbled. Lucy was surprisingly comfortable to hold.
"Maybe you should spend more time with her. She's a sweet girl once you get to know her, and you can't be dense enough not to realize her feelings."
"You and Erza!" he grumbled. "What's with you two trying to hook me up with that annoying woman?"
"I dunno, it's just a suggestion...for now, at least."
Gray had to chuckle softly at that last part. "Fine, I'll stop pestering you all the time and try talking to Juvia more...for now, at least. Maybe if I agree to take her out on a date, she'll stop stalking me. But later. Today, I'm here to take care of you...as a friend."
"Sounds good," Lucy sighed as she snuggled into Gray's coat.

End of Chapter 40

Rhov's Corner:
Sorry about the long delay. I had a post-op complication and was sent back to the surgeon to have part of my bone ground down. It sounds much worse than it was, but still no fun. I'm sick of doctors!
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