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Blind Fury	By : HollowedRose Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 6534 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!! and its characters. They belong to Ryohgo Narita. I'm not making any profit from this.

Chapter List
- 41
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Chapter 42 - Louder Than Words
Both Shizuo and Izaya stared at Celty's retreating back, gaping. They'd never seen the Dullahan so angry before, not even when Shizuo tried to chase her away by acting like a complete monster.
"I must confess, I didn't expect that," Izaya reluctantly admitted, not yet realizing that he was too close to the cage until Shizuo grabbed both his arms and slammed him into the bars, gripping both wrists behind his back with one hand and covering his mouth with the other before Izaya even had a chance to react. He moaned in pain when his injured arm made contact with the metal, and he couldn't help but violently shudder at the feel of the beast's hand upon his person. The horrifying knowledge that he was at Shizuo's mercy nearly made his vision waver, unadulterated terror spreading through his veins like wildfire. A pathetic whimper nearly escaped him, but he managed to swallow it before the monster breathing against his nape could hear it.
"Unlike your venomous mouth, your body never lies," Shizuo said right before he moved the hand covering Izaya's mouth down the man's neck and then lower, until it was resting right above the wildly beating heart. "You prance around and act all high and mighty, like nothing can touch you, but deep down inside, you're scared-shitless."
"I'm n-not―"
"You are, and the more you try to pretend that you're fine, the more you're hurting yourself. Listen to me, flea, you need help."
"What I n-need is for Shizu-chan to take his disgusting paws off my clearly superior person," Izaya tried to say in a calm, confident tone, but his voice still betrayed him with its slight quiver. To his surprise, Shizuo released him, and without the beast's strong hands to support him, he ended up sliding down the bars, trembling knees bending under the weight of his body before he managed to pull push himself up and scramble away. He took out the switchblade and flicked it open before he was even fully facing Shizuo, the terrified look in his eyes morphing into one of burning hatred and anger.
For a few moments, Shizuo simply watched Izaya, as if to confirm that his assumptions about the man had been right. "These games are hurting you a lot more than you're hurting me by playing them."
"If you're trying to convince me to back down, then―"
"I don't even blame Celty for finally deciding she's had enough," Shizuo interrupted him. "You should listen to her advice and stay away from me." Resting his forearms on the horizontal bars, he sighed tiredly before continuing. "You've ruined my life for the sake of your own sick amusement, and you even managed to bring out the monster I didn't even knew existed... what more do you want, Izaya? What will it take for you to end this game we've been playing for so many years? If it's my head that you want, then come and get it," Shizuo offered, if only to keep Izaya from breaking his word and going after Kasuka, but the Informant's sardonic smile only served to enforce the belief that Izaya couldn't have cared less about anything he had to say.
"Shizu-chan, you still don’t get it, do you? I could've taken your head years ago."
"Then why didn't you?" Shizuo growled.
Slightly relaxing, Izaya finally lowered the switchblade and slipped it into the right pocket of his jacket. "The answer is quite simple, but I guess that a protozoan like you would never be able to figure it out by himself."
"If you think that I'm so dumb, then why don't you explain it to me so that I'll finally understand, hah?"
"Monsters are monsters, and they shouldn't act like humans, but at least Shizu-chan now knows he's a monster, so it won't be long now."
"It won't be long before what?"
"You'll see~" Izaya sang before he turned on his heels and took one step in the direction of the door. "Ah, and try not to escape, ne? You'd only be hurting Courier-san, since the police might think of her as an accomplice or something; you never know," Izaya added as he walked away chuckling, leaving a fuming Shizuo to spew insults at him for getting Celty involved.

***
After assuring one of the officers who had arrested Shizuo that he would go to the hospital and get the injury taken care of, Izaya walked out of the police station and took out his phone to call a cab, but he changed his mind and instead headed towards the train station. Cab drivers were never fond of taking injured clients, and he was not in the mood to deal with something like that. Besides, the cut was superficial, he'd made sure of that, and the bandages tightly wrapped around his arm by one of the officers ensured that he wouldn't bleed to death.
Izaya still couldn't get over Celty's reaction. He'd called her there to finally get her to admit ― among other things ― that she could never abandon Shizuo, but instead of her facing the truth, she ended up running away. It didn't really matter though, because her punishment would still be the same. Izaya never really believed that Celty would shun Shizuo and take his side, but a tiny part of him still hoped that the Dullahan would choose him. You really should've picked me, Courier-san, he thought spitefully once he caught sight of a random motorcycle passing by just as he was about to cross the street.
"Oi, Izaya," he heard someone call his name, and when he turned his head in the direction of the voice, he saw Kadota leaning against the van and Erika waving at him with a disgusting leer that, for some reason, made him feel dirty.
"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have some things to take care of, so if you'll excuse me..." Izaya tried in an attempt to escape before it was too late, since he didn't want to be anywhere near the fujoshi, but Kadota pushed himself away from the van and approached him. "Really, Dotachin, I'm busy, take a hint," Izaya added, feeling slightly annoyed.
"What happened?" Kadota asked, his eyes glued to the injured arm.
Izaya simply shrugged, in no way in the mood to explain anything to someone like Dotachin who had no business concerning himself with his person to begin with.
"I'll give you a ride home, come on," Kadota said, but he ended up frowning when Izaya flinched from his touch after he'd placed a hand on the Informant's shoulder. "You must've gotten banged around pretty badly, huh?"
Izaya inwardly cursed before he forced a smile on his face. "Only a little," he lied and hoped that Dotachin bought it.
Kadota nodded and then steered Izaya towards the van. "One more reason to let us give you a ride home."
Seeing how Dotachin was unrelenting, Izaya finally nodded and got into the van, though he ended up scrunching his nose in disgust when his eyes fell upon the cover of what was obviously one of the fujoshi's perverted man on man action manga.
Erika, who was watching his every move, nearly squealed in delight. "If Izayan is interested in some new positions to try out with Shizu-Shizu, I, Karisawa Erika, will gladly relinquish my ownership of this beautiful Yaoi manga," she spoke solemnly.
"I'm leaving," Izaya said flatly, his expression blank as he moved to get out of the van, but he ended up wincing when Kadota slammed the door in his face.
"We're very sorry," Walker apologized in everyone's name while he grabbed a struggling Erika from behind, pulled her into his lap and covered her mouth with his hand. "I'll make sure she stays quiet," he assured their guest.
Izaya had to admit that he quite liked the sight of a fuming Karisawa Erika trying to break free, so he agreed to be given a ride home if only to see the accursed fujoshi having a hard time because of him. If he was lucky enough, he might even come up with an idea to punish the woman for her disgusting words by the time they would stop in front of his apartment building.
"I've heard you're back to fighting Shizuo," Kadota commented to break the silence. "Well, it's not like you ever really stopped, but the place was quiet for a while, after you got hurt."
"Yes, I guess I'm back. I'm sure everyone is ecstatic," he said mockingly.
"At least Karisawa-san is," Walker laughed sheepishly.
Izaya actually snickered, and for some strange reason, he didn't really mind being in that van with the four of them, regardless of how much he wanted to carve the fujoshi's face for what happened that time when he ended up getting stabbed because of her. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a lot of things were the fujoshi's fault, including the kiss he'd been forced to give Shizuo. He would've never been captured that day by the men Ueda's brothers had sent if he wasn't having a panic attack as a result of running into Karisawa and hearing her speculate about his relationship with Shizuo. Perhaps I should burn her manga stash, he thought evilly and he snickered, making the rest of the occupants wonder what he found so amusing. "Just something funny I remembered," he brushed off their questions with a flick of his hand.

***
As expected, Namie was still there by the time he got home, and he couldn't help but smile sheepishly when she squinted her eyes and glared at his arm as thought it'd somehow offended her.
"What have you done now?" she grumbled tiredly before she stood up from her chair behind the desk and went to retrieve the first aid kit.
Izaya gingerly took off the bloody jacket and the t-shirt and let them fall to the floor before he sat down on the couch. "Why does Namie-san always think that it's my fault whenever something bad happens?" he pouted and folded his arms across his chest, but he instantly regretted it when pain flared from the cut and he ended up hissing and cursing under his breath while slowly unfolding them.
Namie came back a few moments later, shaking her head disapprovingly and pushing the Othello board further towards the edge of the coffee table in order to make room for the first aid kid. "Because it usually is," she answered flatly and sat down as well, completely ignoring his offended look.
"Is it so hard to believe that sometimes I really am innocent?" he sighed, exasperated.
"You, innocent?" Namie snorted and roughly gripped the injured arm, making Izaya wince. "You're anything but innocent," she stated and then proceeded to unwrap the bloody bandage so that she could properly clean the wound.
"My life is so sad," Izaya cried in mock-hurt. "Not even my housewife trusts me."
"I'm not your housewife," Namie hissed between gritted teeth and violently pulled the bandage off the wound, making Izaya cry out in both pain and surprise. "I'm only here for the paychecks, and that's the only reason you're still alive," she informed him with a dangerous glint in her eyes.
A shudder of both delight and fear shook Izaya's body, and he'd never been more grateful that such a woman was one of his humans. "I guess I have no choice but to keep those paychecks coming," he said, amused, but he ended up drawing in a sharp breath of air when Namie poured some antiseptic on a piece of gauze and harshly rubbed it into the wound. "I'm never letting Namie-san take care of my injuries again," he hissed through clenched teeth and then glared at the woman when she simply shrugged.
"Tell me, Namie-san," he asked once his eyes drifted over to the Othello board and he leaned forward to pick up the Queen piece, Namie immediately scolding him for not staying still.
"Tell you what?" she eventually asked when Izaya seemed deep in thought as he kept gazing at the Chess piece instead of asking the question.
"How would you pick between two evils?"
"Can I pick neither?"
"No, you have to pick one," Izaya answered flatly.
"I would choose the one who'd benefit me more," she answered without hesitation.
Izaya couldn't help but cackle. There really was no wonder he got along so well with her. "What if neither brought you any benefits?" he then continued, smirking.
"The one less tedious."
Izaya burst into laughter, making Namie's task of bandaging his wound harder.
"Stop moving!" she snapped and tightened her grip around his arm until he stopped laughing and instead ended up grunting in pain. "Are you talking about yourself and Heiwajima Shizuo?" She immediately felt him tense, his shoulders rising and his expression morphing into one she couldn't read at all.
"What makes you think that?"
Namie shrugged. "Makes sense."
Staring blankly ahead, Izaya answered with an emotionless, "I see," before he wrenched his arm out of her hold and stood up. "Thank you for the help; you can go home now."
Namie stood up, went to retrieve her bag and then headed towards the door. "You might be tedious, but the benefits are high."
Izaya gazed at her retreating back until she disappeared behind the door, a small smile replacing his frown. "Really, Namie-san, even after all this time, you still manage to surprise me," he said out loud, but the smile was soon replaced by a sneer when his eyes fell upon the Queen piece in his hand.
"Tch!" Feeling pissed off again, he tossed the piece towards the coffee table, and when it slid down the shiny surface and then fell down on the floor, he simply shrugged and picked up his discarded jacket from where he fished his phone.
"Orihara Izaya here," he spoke in a business-like tone.
"Ah, Orihara-san! Have you decided when you want it done?" the man on the other end asked in a honeyed voice.
"Wait a couple of days, and then mention it to him in passing, just like we've discussed."
"Understood!"
"Good," and with that he ended the call and placed the phone on his desk before moving towards the place where he kept Celty's head, a blood-thirsty smile splitting his face in two.
"Don't worry, Dullahan," he told Celty's head as he picked it up from the glass container and moved to his desk chair where he sat down, "I'm not going to hurt you. It's just an innocent little game, so don't hate me too much, ne?" he said before he lowered his arms and drew the head to his naked chest. "I'm still hoping to one day become your chosen warrior," he added right before he started humming an indecipherable song while he slowly swiveled in his chair and gently ran his fingers through Celty's hair.

***
After leaving the police station, Celty drove around Ikebukuro for a while to clear her thoughts. She felt heartbroken, and she didn't want Shinra to see her like that, especially when she knew how much he worried about her. Unfortunately, he immediately picked up on her mood the moment she arrived home and he got up from the couch to greet her.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, worry crossing his face.
[ I've never felt so lost in a very long time, ] Celty confessed, and Shinra immediately pulled her to his chest and awkwardly hugged her with one arm, his broken one stuck between them.
"What happened?" He proceeded to gently caress her back, the small tremors he felt beneath his fingers making him wonder if Izaya had done something to her. He didn't put it past the Informant, and the fact that he'd been the one to ask her to meet up with him made Izaya even more suspicious in Shinra's eyes. "What did he do?" he heard himself hiss, and when he realized that Celty's tremors only increased in intensity, he steered her towards the couch and sat her down with him.
After a few minutes of clinging to Shinra's shirt, she felt ready to answer, so she pulled away from his embrace and typed on her PDA. [ Shizuo got arrested again. ]
Shinra stiffened. "Did he... hurt Izaya?" he asked, even though he was afraid to hear the answer.
[ Not more than Izaya hurt himself. ]
"What does―" Before he could even finish asking the question though, Celty already had the answered typed out.
[ It sounded to me like Izaya hurt himself to frame Shizuo for the attack, but I can't be sure. ]
"You're not sure?" he asked in disbelief.
[ They were too busy fighting each other to pay any attention to what I was saying. ]
Sighing, Shinra fixed his glasses before he ran a hand through his hair in annoyance. "How did he hurt himself exactly?"
[ There were bandages on his arm, and some blood soaking his jacket. ]
"That idiot..." Shinra shook his head, drowning in worry, anger, frustration and irritation, all at the same time. "He probably has no one to take care of him," he then added, feeling the urge to get up and run to Izaya's aid. He didn't though, not when he could still clearly remember their last meeting. If he went to help him, Izaya would simply call him a hypocrite and kick him out, or worse, maybe even hurt him, or hurt Celty to get back at him. A terrifying realization lodged itself into his mind, and he nearly shuddered as he formulated the question. "If you say you saw Shizuo... then perhaps... you went inside a police station?"
Celty did shudder though, and her fingers shook horribly when she typed. [ I had to see Shizuo. ]
"What were you thinking??" Shinra nearly screeched, but he ended up swallowing his next words when he realized that he should be comforting his beloved Dullahan instead of scolding her. "Are you okay?" he asked hesitantly and placed a hand on her shoulder.
[ I'm fine. I don't think Izaya would've called me there if he believed I was in danger. ]
"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Shinra remarked bitterly. "You don't know him like I do. The more he cares about something or someone, the worse the destruction will be when things don't go his way."
[ I believe Izaya's intention was to hurt Shizuo. ]
Shinra forced a smile on his face in an attempt to hide the worry eating at him. He had a feeling that Izaya would seek retribution after he'd almost been choked him to death, and what better way to punish his attacker than by hurting the woman Shinra loved more than anything in the world?
"You were the only person I would've never hurt," Izaya's words seared though his heart like a hot pike, and he had to all over again fight off the impulse to run to Shinjuku.
[ I'm not sure what to think of Izaya anymore, ] she confessed. [ I... found out what he tried to do to Kasuka. ]
Shinra cringed despite himself, especially after he'd tried his hardest to forget the events of that day ever happened. "The fact that he couldn't go through with it is one of the reasons why he's so broken up about it."
With the last piece of the puzzle finally in place, Celty was finally starting to understand why Izaya was having such a hard time. The Informant was the type of person to deal a swift and devastating punishment to anyone who crossed him, but after failing to do the same with Shizuo, Izaya now found himself tearing into the man like an angry animal doing it out of pure spite. If he wanted Shizuo dead, he would've killed him already, but the blond was still very much alive, which meant that Izaya had no intention of going that far. [ I've realized something today. ]
"Hmm?"
[ We can't help them. ]
Frowning, Shinra tilted his head to the side and watched her curiously, wondering what she meant by that. She was taking her time writing out the words, so he waited, watching her type and erase several times before finally sharing her thoughts.
[ I told them to never look for me again. ]
"You can't be serious!" Shinra's eyes widened in disbelief.
[ You can't help those who don't want to be helped. As things are, Izaya is using us to hurt Shizuo, while Shizuo is trying to chase me away by acting like a monster. ]
"He is a monster," Shinra hissed between clenched teeth.
[ Yes, he is, ] Celty agreed. [ Both are monsters. ] It was something she came to realize while she was watching them fight back at the police station.
Shinra opened his mouth to argue that Izaya wasn't one, but he couldn't do it, not when he knew just how twisted the Informant was. "But what Shizuo did is just sick―" he tried to at least defend the man, but he couldn't finish the sentence after reading the words on the PDA.
[ You and I are monsters too. ]
Most people would've felt offended by that statement, but Shinra was more worried that she would call herself a monster than by being called one. "Celty darling, you are not a monster," he tried to assure her while raising a hand to pull her into a hug.
Celty shook her helmet and gently pushed away his hand. [ We are all monsters in our own way. ]
"We are, aren't we?" Shinra knew that he himself was one, at least to everyone else, but he never really saw anything wrong with being who he was, and even though Celty had tried to change him, she still loved him ― or so he liked to believe ― just the way he was.
[ It's one of the reasons the four of us gravitate towards one another. ]
"I guess that our dysfunctional relationship is quite unique," Shinra sighed softly, "but I still don't understand why you'd tell them to never look for you again. Without us to serve as a deterrent, they will completely destroy each other."
[ I don't think so, even though I can't be 100% sure. ]
"I don't understand."
[ I found Izaya in front of our apartment building a few days ago, just sitting there on the sidewalk's curb, curled into a tight ball and looking miserable. ]
Shinra didn't even know he was gaping until Celty gently tapped his chin. He felt flustered for a second, but he pushed that aside and focused on the problem at hand. He'd known that Izaya was broken and lonely, but he had no idea it was that bad. "I need to see him," he rushed to tell her, but when he tried to get up, Celty placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down.
[ Wait, please. Before you decide to go to him, at least listen to what I have to say first. ]
"Anything for my darling," Shinra said sweetly.
[ Thank you. ]
Shinra smiled, even though on the inside he was worried to death.
[ Izaya is too proud to admit that he needs help, and Shizuo despises himself too much to ask for it because he doesn't believe he deserves it. ]
"The only thing Shizuo deserves is a slow, painful death," Shinra snarled, his blood boiling at the simple mention of that name.
Even though a part of her felt the instinct to defend Shizuo, she mercilessly squashed it down because she needed to be objective ― or as close as she could get to something as unattainable as true objectivity. [ There was a time when I believed that Izaya deserved a slow, painful death for trying to get Shizuo killed. ]
"But that's different!" Shinra argued.
[ Yes, but even so, Izaya is not less of a monster now than he was before. ]
"Tch! He might not be a good person, but at least he saved Kasuka instead of going through with his plan." It was not easy to fold his arms across his chest while one of them was broken, but Shinra still managed to do it anyway.
[ Exactly! Izaya is not as bad as I thought he was, and Shizuo is not as good as I thought he was, but both were or are our friends, and it feels wrong to run away from this, no matter how much we want to do it. ]
Shinra frowned. "You're the one who told them to never look for you again."
[ Humans don't seem to realize how precious something is until they've lost it. Izaya takes you for granted, but that will soon change. ]
[ As for Shizuo, he wants me to stay away from him, so I will grant him his wish. After what he did, I find it hard to even look at him. Besides, I need some time to reflect on my own feelings. ]
Shinra inclined his head, looking pensive, until the wheels in his brain started to turn. "So you're saying that we need to ignore Izaya and let him come to us?"
[ Yes. ]
"I don't know... it seems risky. He's simply too proud to admit that he needs help."
[ I wouldn't be too sure about that. ]
"It's more likely that the two of them will kill each other before that happens."
[ I don't think they will go that far. If they really wanted to kill each other, they would've done it by now. ] Celty really believed that, but there was one more thing she needed to tell Shinra. [ To be honest, I sometimes really want to run away, because dealing with it is much harder than pretending the problem doesn't exist. ]
Shinra unfolded his arms and gently rubbed her shoulder. "I know, me too."
[ I feel like a horrible person for wanting it. A part of me meant those words, ] Celty confessed, and her shoulder sagged under the weight of her guilt.
The sight of his beloved looking so sad hurt him deeply, and he sighed loudly before pulling her into a hug, this time refusing to let her go even after she started struggling in his hold. "We'll try it your way for a while, but if things end up taking a really bad turn, we're going to have to step in and put an end to it, one way or another."
With a nod of her helmet, Celty nestled into his arms and hoped that she hadn't just made the biggest mistake of her life.
"Be careful what you wish for, huh?" Shinra mused out loud.
---
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Blind Fury