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Dangerous Territory	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 4227 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own “Shingeki no Kyojin” and do not make money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 46
- 47
- 48
Chapter 47
Memories of Cuxhaven
Levi woke up to the sound of German words. They drifted through his head, nonsense at first, mere syllables with no meaning. Then he heard the sound of a click. Was that the hammer of a gun cocking back?
He drifted back into a dream. As often happened, the image of Petra working in the garden came to his mind. He was looking out the kitchen window, she was sitting daintily with a wide-brimmed hat. She paused, set her tiny gardening spade down, and glanced over to Levi.
Only, instead of the youthful face of his wife, half of her face was blown off with blood pouring down.
"C'est la Gestapo," she said, her voice a weak whisper.
The dream shifted, faces he once knew, some long dead, some he had no idea what happened to them. They swirled with expressions of fear and a cacophony of screams. He wanted to tell them all to stop. "Stop screaming! We need to be quiet." Yet when he opened his mouth, what came out was also a scream. The screams got louder and louder, the faces of fear and pain spinning all around him.
"Stop! Stop yelling, dammit! They'll hear us. Stop!"
Suddenly, he was in a silent, cramped attic, staring at a phone. The only sound was people breathing on his neck, and all he saw was that phone looming bigger and bigger. A pale, delicate hand laid over his, and with it the gleam of a gold wedding ring. He could not take his eyes off the phone, but he knew it was Petra beside him.
"Nous sommes saufs, n'est-ce pas, Levi?" We're safe, aren't we, Levi?
He wanted to tell her yes, they would be fine, they always made it out of danger, and he would protect her like he had sworn to God on the day they married. He wanted to give her those same reassuring words, but this time he would never get the chance.
Just then, the phone rang, a clanging cacophony that made everyone in the room jump with fear. Levi yanked the receiver up to his ear, and a terrified voice on the other end screamed.
"C'est la Gestapo. Fuyez, sauvez vos vies!" It's the Gestapo. Run away, save your lives!
# # #
Levi jolted up at the sound of a gunshot heard on the other end of the phone. He heard the clanging ring again, and he spun around. A hand laid on him, and at first he feared that memory was being relived. He heard someone answer the phone and German words again. He saw a uniform, and on it that dreaded symbol: the swastika.
Gestapo?
He blinked out his eyes and saw Eren sitting on the bed, one hand holding the telephone to his ear, the other resting on Levi's arm to calm him and keep him quiet.
Eren looked down at Levi and put his finger to his lips. Questions had to wait. Levi knew he could not speak and let whoever was on the phone know he was there. He sank back onto the pillows as his heart raced so frantically, it made his whole body tremble.
"Sagen Sie dem Hauptmann, dass ich komme sofort." Tell the captain I'll be right there. Eren hung up the telephone. "I'm sorry about that. I have to meet the captain."
"What's going on?" Levi whispered, still not trusting that the dream was purely a memory.
"It's a meeting about the Panzergrenadiere who met Americans yesterday. There's fighting to the north."
"Will you be sent out?"
Eren looked troubled. "I don't know." He laughed wryly as he shook his head. "Bei meinem Glück, I'm finally reunited with you, and they'll send me out to get shot."
Levi reached his hand out and placed it on top of Eren's. "I think we've been rather lucky thus far. Maybe our luck will hold out a few more days. There are lots of platoons they can send."
"True," Eren muttered. "I already ordered breakfast." He pointed to a trolley of food sitting by the table. "I won't be able to eat mine, so save it for your lunch. I don't know how long I will be." Eren stroked his fingers through Levi's hair. "I'm sorry. I wish I could spend the whole day with you."
"Don't worry. You're a soldier first. I may soak in the bathtub while you're gone."
Eren hummed at the idea, as sexy as it was, while Levi's black hair tumbled through his fingers. "I'm mad that I will miss seeing that."
Levi smirked up at him. "Would you rather I wait until you're back?"
Eren leaned down until they were nose to nose and whispered, "I'd rather join you."
Levi reached up, hesitant but determined, and softly caressed around the rim of Eren's ear, letting his fingers brush down the side of his neck. He saw that it gave Eren a shiver, and the quiet, breathy moan hidden in the back of his throat thrilled Levi.
"You naughty brat," he whispered in adoration.
Eren leaned down and gave Levi a long, warm, ardent kiss. Levi's fingers wrapped around the back of Eren's neck, pulling him down. Their chests pressed together, and Levi's hand moved, seemingly of its own accord, down Eren's shoulders and across his uniform. Levi parted his lips and felt Eren's tongue slip out. Suddenly, Levi yanked away.
"Putain, ton haleine du matin est rance." Fuck, your morning breath is rancid. "Brush your teeth."
Eren laughed, finding that so adorable. Reluctantly, he stopped caressing Levi's face and turned to the bathroom.
While he was gone to brush his teeth, Levi sat up and stretched. He found his shirt lying on the ground beside the bed. He dusted it off and paused as memories of the night before swirled in his mind: the eruption of passion and those kisses all across his chest. He touched his collar, remembering how Eren had lightly bitten him there, like marking him as his own. Then those gentle kisses to all of his scars. Those scars had worried Petra so much, she feared to touch them, yet Eren had adored each one of them. Maybe because he was also a soldier, he knew that scars were proud badges of battle.
While he was in the moment, he had not wanted to tell Eren to stop. No, he had wanted more, his own heart surrendering to a craving that was growing stronger every day, a need for passion, love, and physical closeness. It was all so dangerous, something he did not even understand.
This was a man, yet whenever they were in the moment, Levi craved Eren so strongly, it scared him afterward.
An image from last night returned to him, Eren kissing the hem of his long underwear, lust in his eyes, yet when Levi had pulled that desirous gaze away from his groin, he also saw a hint of fear and uncertainty. Eren was new to all of this. After all, his first kiss had been only fifteen days ago. He felt desires yet no idea when he should stop, or maybe even what he should do. He was going by instinct, and that was not always the safest choice.
There needed to be a limit to what they did, or else they may end up doing something they would both regret later.
But … how far did Levi want to go? When they were in the moment, he wanted to show Eren everything, to teach him all about pleasure. Surely, a few of those sensual tricks would work on a man as well. He already knew Eren's chest was sensitive.
And those faces he made! Levi felt a tremble through his body just remembering those faces from the bathtub as their cocks rubbed together, the feel of Eren quivering, how his mouth opened in breathy pleasure, the flush of his cheeks and glazed lust in his eyes. He wanted to see that again…
No! Too dangerous! This was precisely why they needed a limit. Levi did not trust himself to stop.
Eren stepped out of the bathroom, jolting him out of his thoughts. Levi quickly yanked the shirt back on and buttoned it up. He let out a sigh, forcing his body to calm back down out of those memories, and then he tugged his trousers on.
With a check in the mirror to make sure that his cap was on straight, Eren was ready to go. Levi walked up to him, holding the gold wedding ring. He kissed it first, then slipped it onto Eren's finger. Eren hated that ring so much, yet when Levi put it on him, it suddenly meant something much different.
Levi reached up and cupped Eren's cheek. "Be safe."
Eren leaned into the touch with an ache of separation already burning his heart. "You as well, and rest your back."
He gave Levi a lingering kiss goodbye. Then Levi moved to the side, partly hiding inside the wardrobe whilst making sure it did not close on him again. Once out of sight, Eren opened the door and headed out.
Levi stepped out and looked at the tray of food. "I went from watery soup and stale bread, to two full breakfasts. God sure does love to fuck with my head."
# # #
It was almost sunset when Floch dropped Eren off at the hotel. Holger was busy talking with Surma in the lobby, but he rushed over when he saw Eren enter.
"Hey, Jäger! We're thinking about going to Nicolo's tonight. Do you want to come?"
"Oh. Actually…" Eren lifted up a small bag. "Some medication for my leg. The doctors want me to rest it a little bit more, and the pills will knock me out."
"Is your wound still acting up?"
"It's only been about ten days. My captain wants to make sure I'm at peak efficiency, since we could be sent out any day now."
Surma now joined. "Are you being sent to engage the Americans?"
"Not yet, but it's only a matter of time."
Holger whispered solemnly, "We just heard, Phil's company was sent out earlier today. They're to reinforce Feste Kronprinz." Holger shivered. "I'd rather be out in the open than underground in one of those forts."
Surma looked grim. "I think he's lucky. Those subterranean forts will probably be the last things left once the air strikes begin."
Eren's face also turned severe. "I've had enough talk about what the Allies are up to. I'm going to get drunk and write to my wife."
Holger perked up again. "I heard that Frau Louise is out of the city. That's probably for the best."
"It was nice while it lasted," Eren said with a wistful sigh, "but her safety is the most important thing now. She carries the next generation of Aryans."
"She's pregnant?" Holger cried out.
"Congratulations," Surma said with his eyebrow raised. "Rather quick, though."
"Well, we got started before the wedding," Eren said with a chuckle. "If you'll excuse me." He needed to get out of there before they asked too many questions.
He went upstairs to his room, glad that he met no one else. Already, officers were leaving the hotel, being sent out in preparation for battle.
How long before he left? How many more days did he and Levi have?
He purposely fiddled with the lock, hoping it gave Levi time to hide. When he opened it, he saw no one inside. He wanted to call out, but now he had told two more officers that Louise was gone. He had to be more careful.
He set the bag on the table and searched around. "Levi?" he whispered.
Levi rolled out from under the bed. Eren felt a deep relief to see that he was still there.
"So, you're back," Levi said with a forcefully neutral voice to hide just how worried he had been all day. "Any news?"
"Too much," groaned Eren. He sank onto the bed, tossed off his cap, and tugged his boots off. "How was your day?"
"Oh, fun. I did so much, stuck in a room with no radio, a single book, and a window I can't look out of because someone might see me."
Eren pouted. "I'm sorry about that. I'll try to get more books."
"It's fine," Levi sighed. "It beats sitting in a shit-stinking dungeon, or standing around in a freezing tunnel listening to Yelena. I cleaned the place up, dusted under the bed so if I have to hide under there, at least I won't itch, scrubbed the bathtub, cleaned the toilet…"
"Sounds like you kept yourself busy."
"Well, I had to move slowly. My back still hurts."
"Did you take a bath?"
"No. I realized, if someone hears the bath running and you're not here, it'll be suspicious."
Eren frowned, seeing how that was a problem. Levi probably had to be as silent as possible while he was away. "I stopped by the hospital. My captain wanted me to have my leg checked out one more time. I asked for something for bruising and pain." He went to the bag he had been carrying and pulled out a new jar of arnica and a bottle of pills. "I don't really need it, not unless I have to climb a lot of stairs, so you can take it for your back."
Levi took a bottle and gave the pills a shake. "These aren't the shit you took before, right?"
Eren laughed awkwardly. "No, not Pervitin. Also, I still have some more—what is it called—bath salts, if you want. I can set up a bath for you. Or do you want dinner first?"
Levi set the bottle down. "Bath, then food, then I'll take those pills. They'll probably make me sleepy."
Eren's grin was a burst of sunlight in the dismal, gray autumn. Seeing such joy in that dreaded uniform ached Levi's heart. The young officer bolted to the bathroom, and Levi heard him starting up the faucet, humming some German folk song.
This brat!
Levi got up, flinched a little with a spasm in his back, and took slow steps to the bathroom. He leaned against the door jamb and folded his arms as he watched Eren pour in the Epsom salts and swirl it around, mixing it into the water. Then he reached into an inner pocket of his uniform and pulled out a small vial. Levi squinted—what was it?—but Eren tipped it over. A few drops slipped out, and suddenly the whole bathroom smelled of lavender. Eren looked so excited as the floral, relaxing smell filled the air, and he tucked the vial back away.
"That's new."
Eren jolted and almost slipped into the bath. He turned and saw Levi watching him.
"Oh," he said, starting to blush. "I bought it on my way home."
Levi nodded, still leaning to the side. "It's nice."
Eren tucked his face down at the compliment. He turned back to the bath, turned the water off, and stood up. "I'll let you bathe." He began to step past Levi.
"Or…" Levi shot his arm out, blocking the doorway. His eyes turned up to meet Eren's startled face. "You can stay and wash me."
Eren gasped softly. Did he mean it? Levi wanted him to stay?
"If you want," Levi added.
"Yes!" he cried out.
Levi snorted a laugh. What an eager brat! "Get out of that uniform."
He dropped his arm, and Eren rushed past him to undress. Levi also changed out of his clothes. He folded them up neatly, and then he stepped into the tub. The water was hot, and as he lowered himself down, it stung just a little, yet felt so good as the heat soothed his back.
Eren wore only his boxers when he stepped back into the bathroom. He saw Levi reclined in the bathtub, all stress melting away. The semi-permanent scowl on his face was gone, and his eyes were closed as he savored the feeling of comfort. Eren wished he could gaze upon Levi like this forever!
Levi's eyes turned to him. "Well? Come in."
Eren stepped into the room. Coming closer meant he would be able to see Levi naked, and that thought made him choke up. Although he had seen Levi naked on a weekly basis since May, those months always had an element of awkwardness. Around his men, he had to struggle not to let his attraction show on his face. He could not look too hard, but he also could not refuse to look. Finding that balance had been stressful.
Now, his eyes drank in Levi's pale, thin, scar-marked body. Coming up to the tub, he gazed all the way down, across his chest, those sharp hips, his crotch—yes, he lingered there a bit—and down those strong, slender legs, to his tiny toes sticking up out of the water.
"Are you done?"
Eren's eyes shot back up to Levi's face. He had a tiny smirk, like he knew precisely what memories this scene evoked.
The two of them, in the tub, groaning as their bodies thrust together!
"Let me wash you," Eren whispered.
Levi shifted to a more comfortable position in the water. "I want to relax for a bit longer." He closed his eyes, but then one peeked open. "I guess you could wash my feet."
Eren reached for the soft washcloth and fragrant soap he got for their last bath. He sat on the edge of the tub by Levi's feet, where they wiggled just above the water. He soaked the cloth in the bath water and soaped it up. Levi popped one foot up and rested it on Eren's lap. It was certainly a very revealing position for him to be in, but … well, it was not like Eren had not seen every part of his body already.
Eren gulped. Just this much, just a wet foot dripping over his thighs, made his body tense. He was slow, gentle, and thorough. He knew Levi liked cleanliness, so he ran the cloth all across the foot, around the ankle, and between every toe.
Eren used his thumbs to massage up the arch of the foot, and Levi let out a soft hum. Eren took his focus off the foot and to Levi's face.
He looked so peaceful. Eren even saw a rare smile. After all the shouting that morning, officers arguing about tactics and complaining about inane orders from Berlin, he felt like that whole chaotic world was drifting away. Maybe there was fighting to the north, but he was here, and Levi was breathtaking, slumped in the tub, his face barely above the water, his black hair floating around like midnight wisps.
He kept rubbing his thumbs up the arch, and he saw how Levi reacted, like he was melting, and yet…
And yet…
His eyes drifted down. There was a slight stirring below, not much, but a definite change. Was this pleasurable to Levi?
Eren kept up the massage, so happy to make Levi feel like this. After everything he had been through, he deserved pleasurable relaxation.
Levi removed his foot and brought up the next one. Eren shifted to a more comfortable spot on the tub's ledge.
"Ich brauche einen Hocker." I need a stool.
Levi hummed, curious what that grumble was about. Then he saw the discomfort in Eren's face. He was putting up with an awkward seat, just to tend to him.
"Bring a chair in here."
"It'll be too high for your feet."
"My leg can move. Get a chair."
Eren pouted, regretting that he had grumbled, but he obeyed. He left the bathroom, got a wooden chair from the small table, and brought it into the bathroom. He set it up close to the tub so Levi would not have to stretch as far, but still, he was up higher like this. Levi still stretched his foot up. Eren got to work with the washcloth, washing every crevasse.
"So, how did your meetings go? Is there any more news? Will you be sent to the front?"
"This is the front now."
He related what he had learned through hours of meetings. There was fighting to the north. The Americans were trying to push down, but the Germans were holding the line. They failed to destroy a Brückenkopf—it took a while for Eren to explain the concept enough for Levi to realize he meant a bridgehead—but the Americans were not that well-trained. Although the officers had experience, the rank and file had finished a rushed form of basic training only a few weeks ago. Since Patton's forces had not landed on the Normandy beaches, they had minimal combat experience. These neophytes were up against elite Panzergrenadiers, many of whom had been fighting for years.
"It's almost pathetic how unorganized and cowardly they are. Like smacking around tiny children. Plus their tanks ran out of petrol, so they can't even bring in something strong enough to stand up to our Panzers. Everything is at a standstill, just tiny shoves here and there as they keep trying to cross the Moselle, but we're holding them back. It's just a matter of time before we face the main force. Already, one of the lieutenants on this floor was sent to one of the forts surrounding the city."
"If you are called, just go. I can figure a way out of here."
"No, I promised—"
"If I'm alone, that's to my advantage. Hell, I don't even want to return to the Resistance if I can help it. Each time I was caught, it was because I felt a need to protect those around me. If I'm on my own, I can flee when I know danger is coming, and I can kill when the need arises without worrying if those behind me can also make it through. I work best alone. That was part of my training with the Deuxième Bureau, after all."
Eren washed his feet in silence. He had heard many stories over the past two weeks about Levi's days as an assassin. He supposed it was a lonely job, sneaking into locations, making the kill, and slipping out before alarms went up.
"You're very brave," he said in admiration.
"I survive. That doesn't make me brave; it makes me desperate."
"Desperate to live?" he asked, confused by what he meant.
"Desperate to atone for everything I did in the past. I can't atone if I'm dead."
"You keep me company," Eren said playfully. "That's something positive in your life."
"You're a kid, takhshet. Someone has to make sure you don't die of some whore's disease."
"Aww, that's mean! You know I have no interest in women."
Levi felt the hands that had been playful a moment ago were now rubbing his ankles differently, more tenderly and sensual, working their way up his sensitive legs.
"I'll make sure you live long enough to atone."
"You don't need to. It's not your responsibility."
"I know," Eren whispered, "but I want it to be."
Levi shivered at the gentle voice. He wanted … to be responsible for him? Levi thought about the ideal world Eren wanted, where they could be together, be accepted for who they are, and live in peace.
It was a nice thought, and Levi closed his eyes. What would that world be like?
"Are you falling asleep?" asked Eren.
Levi muttered, "Only idiots fall asleep in bathtubs."
"Maybe I should tell you a story so you stay awake."
"Yeah? Like what?"
"Did I ever tell you about my father?"
Levi was shocked by the question. He knew the subject normally enraged Eren, so he approached it cautiously. "Not much about him."
"Sit up. I'll get your back, and I can tell you about him."
Levi had to admit, he was curious. Eren had talked only a little about his childhood, being an only child with a father who was a doctor and the tragic history of his part-Jewish mother. He sat up, a little worried if talking about this would be good for Eren or make him angry. He knew he had no love at all for the father who left him to flee to England.
Eren soaped up the cloth more and cleaned Levi's back and arms as he talked.
"Mein vater … My father, he was a doctor. We lived in Cuxhaven, right on the Nordsee."
"North Sea?"
"Ja. Vati traveled a lot, sometimes riding a whole day just to treat a patient. He let me go with him sometimes, riding in front of him on a horse. As we rode together, he would tell me about medicinal plants, advances in science, and explain the health issues we were going to see so I would not be scared. I helped him sometimes, like one time I helped to set a broken arm, and on another trip I had to remove a fishing hook from a man while my father held him down because he ran out of morphine, the patient was too strong, and such a massive man could not handle even that much pain. Sometimes, he took me and Mutti to Neuwark. It's an island nearby, you can walk to it during low tide. Vati would ride a Wattwagen that crossed the Wattplaten. Um … mud … plane? Flat place."
"Mudflats, low tide, I get it," Levi muttered. Eren's adorable terms for his father and mother showed that he still thought of them in the mind of a small child.
"The island had a huge lighthouse. I used to run up and down the tower until Vati und Mutti got mad at me. I loved to look around at what the tide left behind, all the sea animals. There were so many different types, and sometimes I found ones we could eat. We would ride back home, and Mutti would cook what I found. She would praise me and say 'Du bist wirklich ein Jäger.' You really are a hunter." He blushed even now, remembering that praise from childhood. "I really liked when she would tell me that, and it made me want to try harder the next time. Oh! On one trip, Vati took me to a client who lived in a forest. It was really bad, so I wasn't allowed to go inside, so I spent the afternoon setting traps around the forest, only to catch the owner's hound."
Levi found himself smiling as Eren talked more and more, rambling about stories from his childhood, about his mother's cooking, patients his father treated, and fishermen who gave his family good catches as tokens of thanks for his father's healing work. They were all so innocent, how childhood memories should be.
The water was hot. Eren's voice was soothing, and Levi felt at peace simply listening to that carefree voice as his back was massaged. Bathing felt so nice, relaxing his muscles and soothing the bruises. He closed his eyes, starting to slip away into warmth, but he also wanted to hear more about this rare look into Eren's past.
"Should I get your hair?"
"Huh?" Levi blinked out his eyes.
Eren chuckled. "You are falling asleep again, ja?"
"Of course not." He suppressed a yawn that tensed the sides of his neck. No way would he openly yawn!
Eren took a cup he had by the sink, filled it with bath water, and poured it over Levi's jet black hair, carefully shielding his eyes from the water. He put some shampoo into his hand and began to work it into Levi's hair.
"So, you must love the ocean," Levi said, wanting to hear more about Eren's past. No, he had to admit, he wanted to hear more of Eren's voice.
"Yes, it was wonderful," Eren said as he massaged Levi's scalp. "I miss it sometimes."
"Do you plan to move back there after the war?"
"I suppose I will. That's the normal thing to do. The house is still in my name."
"Wait, a child like you has a house?" Levi asked in surprise.
"My parents' house, but … well, they're dead, so it went to me. I haven't been back since I was ten. I spent six years in Hamburg. Ironically, that's where a lot of people told our family we should move. Vati could have had a good practice in the city, but he preferred to ride out to help people who could not travel to Bremen or Hamburg. What I remember about him the most is that he always looked so prim, dressing nice even around the house. He was very well-respected by everyone, Bauern und Städter, even though he wasn't originally from that town."
"He wasn't from Cuxhaven?"
"No, and my mother was from Hamburg. That's where they met, in a Bierhalle where my mother worked."
"Your father chased after some beer hall waitress?"
Eren chuckled and shook his head as he rinsed out Levi's hair. "Apparently, she chased after him. He resisted for a long time, since he was just starting up his practice as a doctor, until one day he got drunk and woke up with her in bed with him. He told me that story as a warning never to get drunk in public. A few weeks later, she realized she was pregnant, so he married her."
"No offense, but I wonder if your mother tricked him."
Eren shrugged. "Maybe. She definitely acted like she always wanted things done her way, although I figured that is just being a mother. Mutti lost her first pregnancy, and Vati thought she would be healthier with fresh air, so they moved to a village by the sea. Vati had a strange accent though," Eren said, thinking back, now only vaguely able to remember his father's voice. "Many people said he sounded like he was from Amsterdam, but he swore he was born in Germany. That Gestapo man yesterday was talking about German dialects, and he could hear that I have a slight Hamburg dialect due to my years living in the city. I know my father lived in England for a few years before I was born. I wonder if that's why he spoke oddly. Thinking back, I know almost nothing of his past before meeting my mother."
"Could you ask your grandparents, aunts or uncles?"
Eren shook his head. "I only had my parents. Those who didn't die in the last war were killed by the Grippe afterward."
Levi frowned. Just like how he lost his mother to the deadly flu outbreak of 1918.
"Anyway," Eren said, realizing the conversation had turned dark quickly. "Come out. I'll rub arnica on your back."
Levi reluctantly left the hot, soothing bath water, and Eren handed him a towel. Levi dried, dressed, but left his shirt off so Eren could deal with the injury.
They sat on the bed mattress so it was more comfortable. Eren pulled out a jar of arnica cream, and the flowery scent filled the room. He gently rubbed the cream where he saw the massive bruises on Levi's back.
Levi hummed, resting his heavy eyelids. "It sounds like you had a nice childhood, playing along the shore all day while your father healed the sick."
"It wasn't every day. I also went further inland with my father, riding on horseback with him. When I was eight, he got me my own pony for my birthday."
"Bloody hell, you were one spoiled child!"
Eren laughed awkwardly, but his eyes were tight in some sad memory, or maybe just the pain of remembering everything good and happy from back then. "I suppose I was. Vati was always buying me things. He also taught me English and some Latin. Mutti could not speak any other languages, so it became like a secret code between me and him."
"It sounds like you admired him."
Eren stared ahead blankly. "I did … until that day."
Eren's darker tone of voice interested Levi, and he turned his head around to look up at him. "That day?"
"The day I found out why he really left us. Shortly after my tenth birthday, Vati said he was heading off to England for one of his academic tours, something he did a couple times a year. I wanted to go with him; I begged every single time. Normally, he said I could go when I was older, but this time he patted me on the head and said, 'I'll bring you along next time.' That made me so excited, like I would finally be treated like an adult.
"He left, and just a few days later, Braunhemden came to Cuxhaven, hunting Jews. Mutti had already written to a friend, Hannes. He often came by when my father was out of town, just to make sure we were safe. On that day, he arrived just a few minutes too late. They had already dragged both of us out of the house, and they had her … on her knees … with a gun to her head … when he pulled up. She was shouting at Hannes … to protect me." Eren snuffled as a tear dripped from his eyes. "She already knew it was too late for her, nothing could be done. If Hannes defended her, he would be labeled a Jew lover and killed along with her. So she told him … I at least was Aryan."
Eren broke into sobs as her voice echoed through his head.
Not my son! He is Aryan. Hannes! Please, don't let them take Eren. He at least is Aryan.
Levi turned around and hugged Eren, letting him cry. He had heard parts of this story months ago, when they were just starting to become friends. Back then, Levi could not comfort him beyond a touch to the hand. Now, he caressed Eren's hair as he grieved.
"Your mother was brave. At the very end, she protected her son. It's what any parent would want." Levi's own face cringed, thinking how lucky Carla was to have that as her last act, unlike himself, forced to live with the knowledge that he failed to protect his wife and unborn child.
"She was amazing," Eren agreed, and he pulled back, wiping his eyes. "Sorry."
"Don't be. She's your mother. Never apologize for grieving over her."
"Well," Eren whispered, sniffing back his tears. "That's that old story again. Hannes took me in, at first just until my father came back, but … he never returned. We waited and waited, but he never even sent a letter. I didn't know where he went on his trips, which universities he lectured in, not even which port he had traveled to for the boat to England, nothing to help track him down. I began to think he had died at sea; I mourned, and I got over it. Hannes took legal custody over me, set me up in Napola, and I put all of my focus on school so I did not have to think about what might have happened to my father. Then that day, the day a letter written in English arrived at my school from my half-brother, Zeke Jäger."
"You've mentioned him," Levi muttered cautiously, sensing the boiling rage, and after the intense grief, he understood why.
"My father had enough of Hitler and the Nazis. He had been ordered to turn over genetically impure patients, and when he refused, he got in trouble. He left us. He left me behind. He promised to come back, he promised to take me with him … but he vanished, and I thought he was dead. I had cried and prayed over him, growing up thinking I was orphaned, and all that time, all those years, he was still alive, living in London, living with his other wife. I felt so angry, so betrayed. He had turned his back on mein Vaterland," Eren sneered, but his face sank, "and that meant er ist nicht mein Vater. He was no father of mine."
Levi remained quiet. That was the anger he knew was buried inside Eren's heart, although now it seemed to be subdued, perhaps because of his other tense emotions. "You know, he may have tried to get you, may have even wrote you letters, but that Nazi captain who took you in probably sheltered you. He may have prevented your father from contacting you."
"Good! He was the one who ran off to be with his whore British lover."
"Zeke is older than you, right?"
"By ten years, yes."
"Which means your father was with the British woman first. He might have even still been married to her, which was why he rejected your mother over and over again. No offense, but if anything, your mother was the whore."
Eren suddenly shoved Levi off the bed. His fist lifted, ready to punch him. Levi's hand shot out under his pillow and ripped his knife out of its sheath, holding it only as a warning. The silver glint of the blade reflected in the glow of a light bulb.
Calmly, Levi warned, "Don't even try, takhshet."
"Don't call my mother a whore!"
"Fine. She may have been ignorant. Your father may have hidden the truth from you both. I won't call her that again."
Eren yanked his arm back down with a sneering scowl. After seeing that he was merely brooding, Levi sheathed the knife and slumped back onto the mattress. He twisted his shoulders around with a grimace. Those fast movements had hurt his back a lot more than he liked to admit. He was not in the mood to deal with this shit!
After a moment, Eren landed his head on Levi's shoulder. His body almost folded in half over Levi's smaller form, and he wrapped his arms around, showing he held no ill will despite the instinctive rage cultivated from a painful childhood.
"I guess you're right," Eren whispered. "Zeke's letter said he was seven when my father fled England. Still, even if my mother was the second woman, he was with us the most. He lived with us. So why … why would he leave me?" he asked, sounding like a scared child all over again.
Levi stroked Eren's hair in comfort. "He may have had no choice. You said he got into trouble. He may have been fleeing the Brownshirts or even the Gestapo. He may have thought that leaving you and your mother was the best way to protect you."
Levi felt Eren's whole body stiffen, and he let out a weary sigh.
"Look, I'm just saying: you're only seeing things from your point of view, and you were a child. Adults have a tendency to manipulate children for their own machinations, thinking it's in their best interest. Heaven knows my uncle was like that!" Levi grumbled. "I doubt that your father abandoned you; otherwise, why promise to take you to England? He could have left like any other trip, but he told you he would take you next time. I think that was his plan, to go to England, set up a place to live, get all the immigration documents in order, and then come back for you and your mother. He underestimated the hatred of the Nazis."
"He could have written!"
"You said this Hannes bloke was an officer. If he saw your father as a traitor, just like you do now, then he would have shielded you from him. More than likely, he burned any letters written to you, perhaps even used his military status to threaten your father to stay away. When that captain took you in, the Nazi Party got its hands on a fresh, young, empty mind full of grief, a walking ball of rage: the perfect vessel to carefully sculpt a deadly tool for their war machine. They filled your mind with thoughts they wanted you to have, thoughts like Jews are subhuman, homosexuals should be hanged, traitors to the Nazi Party should be shot…. All these dark things got crammed into the mind of a child, so he would grow up to be perfectly obedient."
He reached down and put his hand on Eren's thigh.
"Only, he wasn't obedient, because they didn't realize he already liked men. That tiny act of disobedience grew, and he gradually had more taboo thoughts, like Jews are normal people, enemy soldiers can be pitied, and a conscience isn't a weakness. To top it all off, he fell for a Jewish man."
Eren's hand slipped up Levi's chest, clutched him closer, and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. It was like these were all things he knew deep down inside, but he had never dared to fully admit them. Such questioning was defiance against Hitler, and defiance was punished with death.
"The rage and grief you felt as a child are understandable, but you never learned your father's side of the story. I don't know what sort of desperation drove him to leave you and your mother behind, but I do know that the rage you have every time you even hear the word British is purely the work of Nazi indoctrination."
"So what do I do?" Eren whispered.
"Why do you need to do anything at all? Your father is dead. You may never know what reasons he had to leave, and that's okay. You may always be angry at him, and that's okay too. Just don't take your anger out on people who have nothing to do with your father's decision to leave that day."
"Are you saying I should like the British?"
"I'm saying, don't hate an entire nation just because your father was a piece of shit. If I had been born in London, would you hate me?"
The question stunned Eren. He had thought before how Levi's situation, being born in Strasbourg, made him technically German. That city changed national hands every few decades, and this very fact made the hate between nations look ridiculous, yet he still bristled at the idea of anyone being British.
But what if Levi had been born in London? Would that change who he was right now?
"I wouldn't hate you, even then," Eren said softly. He cupped Levi's face and pulled it toward him. "I love you too much."
Hearing those words again made a spike shoot through Levi's chest. Before, he had feared that sensation, the bright happiness and the dark memories of past love. Now, as much as it hurt, he yearned for warmth that came after the pain.
He leaned in for a kiss, and Eren was quick to receive, with arms that wrapped around Levi like he was a precious gift. The breath on his face was soft and warm. When Levi felt Eren's tongue, he parted his lips. It did not plunge recklessly down his throat, nor did it seek out with trepidation anymore. Instead, the tongue was a soft caress, almost a tickle, feeling out his mouth.
This brat! He was getting so good at kissing.
Eren's hands rubbed over Levi's skin, feeling his arms, shoulders, and down the back. Levi was enjoying it when Eren made a groping pull, and his fingers hit a bruise. At that, Levi pulled away sharply, biting back a cry of pain.
"Oh mein Gott, I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm so sorry."
"It's fine," he said, seething to work through the pain.
Eren gulped and pulled himself back to calm down. After being so open and vulnerable, he felt a desperate need to be close to someone, but Levi's needs should come first. He was still injured, and Eren realized they had not yet eaten.
"I'll order food, that way you can take those pills." He rushed over to the telephone and made a call for room service.
Levi rubbed out his back. He wondered, if he had not been injured, just how far was he willing to let Eren go with all these kisses? It was the same question that he had that morning. What were his limits?
Eren went into the bathroom to wash up while Levi lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. That whole history was a lot to digest, yet he knew Eren needed to open up. He loved to talk about his mother, but his father had been a sensitive subject. Levi personally pitied the man. He understood how a husband and father like that must have felt, knowing he was a threat to his family. Levi had nearly left Petra in the middle of the night, but he was too weak to abandon her. He often wished he had.
Now he wondered, if he had left and Petra was killed anyway, would he have blamed himself even more for abandoning her? Eren's father must have hated himself when he learned that his wife was dead and his son was basically kidnapped by a Nazi officer, about to be raised to be an enemy soldier. Levi could not imagine how much guilt must have haunted that poor man.
Levi glanced up. "If you're in heaven or hell, you bastard, I hope you see your son now and realize what sort of man he's grown to become without you."
Yet Levi understood. He also should leave Eren for his own good. He had left him, and now he was back. If someone had tried to block him, like how Hannes likely blocked Eren's father—if Jean or Armin had gotten in his way and warned him that meeting Eren was dangerous for his life—he might have never returned. He might have believed it really was in his best interest. Even now, being here was so dangerous, yet Levi felt safe so long as Eren was nearby. He felt they were both stronger together.
"I wonder, when Daniel walked into the lion's den, was he ever tempted to stay there because he knew it was safe, or was he glad to get out?"
Eren stepped out of the bathroom drying his hands. "What was that?"
"Just thinking to myself," Levi muttered.
There was a knock on the door, and in a flash Levi was down, rolling under the bed. Eren answered and was relieved to see it was just the bellhop in his red and black uniform with a trolley set for two dinners. He thanked the young man, pushed out the food cart from breakfast for the bellhop to take back, and pushed the dinner cart in.
"This is going to become a problem."
Levi rolled out from under the bed. "What do you mean?"
"I've let most of the officers know that Louise isn't here. Ordering two meals? I'll need a cover story."
"Maybe that you're trying to fatten up for winter, or you're a growing boy who needs more nutrients."
Eren rolled his eyes. "I'm serious."
"I know. I don't want you to get into trouble or rouse any sort of suspicion. That is why you should only order one meal."
He nodded thoughtfully. "I could cut back on eating—"
"No! You'll need your energy if you're sent out into battle. I'll eat whatever scraps you have left."
Eren looked offended by that idea. "I won't have you eat my scraps. I'll find you food."
"Be safe about it. Meanwhile, I'll take whatever bread you get. I can eat that throughout the day."
"You need more than bread."
"Takhshet, three weeks ago I was overwhelmed at getting to eat bread. Trust me, I can survive. I don't want you to starve on my behalf." He sat at the table. "More incentive for me to get out of here."
"What do you mean?" Eren asked, feeling a jolt of panic at the thought of Levi leaving soon.
"Well, if I'm getting hot meals and a soft bed, I won't want to go. It's what scared me so much last time: realizing I didn't want to leave."
"And you cured that by leaving without a word?" he cried out.
"Keep your voice down. And yes, I left without telling you because I knew that if you begged me to stay, I would. That's dangerous. All of this is dangerous." He shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm still here."
"To eat dinner," Eren said stubbornly. "And because it seems you and Yelena don't get along."
Levi groaned at just hearing her name. "I seriously don't get how Hange put up with that bitch."
They dug into the dinner, although Levi ate slowly. It could be his last full meal. He wanted to savor it.
Eren was also brooding, thinking about this problem. "I wish I could take you out to a restaurant."
Levi lifted his eyes across the table. "You know that's stupid."
"Yes, but still. I wish we could go wherever we want. Even just a walk together." He glared down at the meal. "I hate that I was born at this time in history."
"Twenty years ago wasn't much better," Levi muttered. "Twenty years from now, who knows. We just have to make the best out of the time that we're living."
Eren nodded thoughtfully. "My mother used to say something like that."
"Then she was a wise woman."
They continued to eat. Eren finished first, and he moved aside to look over some maps he had received during the meeting that morning. Levi took his time and carefully packed away anything he thought would last the next day. If he began to squirrel away food now, he would be able to eat decently in the future.
Finally, the plate was scraped clean, not a drop of sauce wasted, and the two of them finished off a bottle of wine. Then Levi finally took the pills to help with pain. They kicked in faster than he had expected, and he reclined in bed as his head swam.
Eren sneaked glances over and chuckled. "You almost look drunk."
"I sure feel drunk," Levi said, woozy but at least the pain was gone.
Eren set aside his reports and maps and climbed into bed beside Levi. The scowl was gone, and he looked vulnerable like this. Eren caressed Levi's cheek. To his surprise, Levi immediately leaned in and kissed him aggressively. Eren yanked back.
"You are drunk."
"Drugged," Levi slurred. "I hate this."
Eren threaded his fingers through Levi's black hair. "Can I do anything for you?"
Levi looked up. It was definitely the pills, feeling good for once, no pain, no anxieties. He could focus on just what he wanted.
And he could think about it without all the trauma that went with it.
"Actually … Can I trust you?" Levi whispered, feeling his cheeks warm up.
"Of course," Eren said loyally.
"The bruises on my back … I could use cream on them again."
"Do they still hurt?"
Levi reached out and stroked his hand up Eren's chest. "Just rub the damn cream on."
Eren's breath caught. This was obviously about more than an injury. "Sit up. I'll get the arnica."
Levi slowly rose and sat on the edge of the bed. Eren eagerly took a seat behind him, and the floral smell of the cream filled the room.
Levi stared ahead, feeling the fingers rubbing diligently on swollen, tender spots. Eren was being methodical, applying the cream onto spots on his shoulders, the long bruise across his mid-back where he hit the edge of a bridge, and then was very careful around his hip.
Levi felt his throat getting dry. Those touches were really doing something to him, and his mind was swirling out of control. "Let me shift my underwear down."
Eren froze, stunned by the forwardness. "What?"
"There's a large bruise on my hip."
"Well … I mean … y-yes, there is," Eren whispered, caught off-guard.
"I want you to rub there."
Levi stood and shifted his long johns down just enough to expose the swollen bruise. Eren gulped at seeing the butt crack. He knew how dangerous he had gotten when he was drugged, and Levi only barely managed to keep him from doing anything too wild. How responsible would he be in the same situation?
Eren gazed at Levi's bare buttocks. "There's one right here, on the left side. Should I, um … Should I get that?"
"Yes," Levi whispered, too focused on the racing of his heart.
Eren's finger lightly rubbed the spot where a bruise was just under the soft butt cheek. Levi flinched away out of instinct, and Eren yanked his hand back. With a slow exhale to calm himself, Levi relaxed.
"It's okay."
"Are you sure?" he whispered.
Levi nodded. He again felt the hesitant tenderness of Eren's touch and the creamy smoothness of the medicine. As the arnica was massaged in, Eren's fingers lingered, and Levi's heart sped up.
"Other … the other side."
Eren got more cream and rubbed the other cheek, spreading it around, gazing in adoration at the tiny, pale, adorably cute rump.
"Thank you for trusting me."
"I don't trust you," Levi said in a cranky grumble. "I tolerate you."
"You just said a moment ago, you trusted me."
"Shut up."
Eren chuckled, having learned by now that the more surly Levi acted, the stronger his emotions were. "Well then, I'm glad you can tolerate me."
He focused on the arnica, rubbing cream around the purple skin. Levi kept glancing back, watching Eren looking so serious as he worked. It made him want more!
He opened his mouth to speak, but he bit the words back. He knew this was the drugs, but … maybe this was just freeing his mind to chase after what he already wanted.
Finally, he blurted out, "I have other bruises."
Eren paused. "Where?"
"On my thighs. I noticed them in the bath. They don't really hurt, but … I mean, since you have that cream out…"
Eren dropped his gaze. "I see. Do you … Do you want … medicine there?"
Levi licked his lips. "Yes," he whispered, feeling his blood rushing downward. Then, in a moment of clarity, he quickly said, "Don't do anything weird."
"Of course not. I'll only rub arnica on."
Levi stood, and with trembling hands, he completely lowered the long johns, letting them fall to his ankles and stepping out of them. He gulped as he stood stark naked, heart racing, knowing he was pushing himself, and loving it!
"I don't see bruises," Eren said, gazing along the back of Levi's legs.
"No." Levi turned around to face him. "They're up front."
Eren let out a soft yelp, "Oh!" before turning his gaze away.
He could see everything now, and those touches had strongly affected Levi. Unlike the bathtub where Levi was relaxed, now he was erect, and Eren saw his full length. He tried not to stare, but his heart began to race with taboo desires.
Levi found Eren's bashfulness amusing. It was hilarious how he was so forward at times, and yet still so inexperienced. Levi wanted Eren to touch him more, so much more, but normally he feared where it may lead. Now, with the pain gone and his mind loosened, he felt like nothing was stopping him from chasing this desire.
"Eren."
The deep voice spiked through the young officer, and he looked up in a jolt. Gray-blue eyes pierced down at him, and like a rabbit in the middle of the road, he was frozen by the light in those eyes.
"Rub my bruises."
Eren looked down, trying not to catch a glimpse of what was above the thighs. He saw swollen purple spots on Levi's thighs, as well as discolored spots on his knees and a massive bruise to his shin.
"Right. Bruises."
Eren knelt in front of Levi to be low enough to get the bottom bruises. With a nervous tremble in his fingers, Eren scooped up some cream and gazed at the discolored parts.
"I know you don't like to have your legs touched—"
"It's okay," Levi said in a rush. "It's you, so … so it's okay."
"Are you sure?" Eren asked again.
Levi gazed down, seeing Eren kneeling right in front of him, those teal eyes gazing up. He felt a lump swelling in his throat and a twitch in his cock. His hand went down and rested on Eren's head. The way he leaned into his touch was endearing.
"Do it," he whispered.
Levi braced himself for the sensation, an area that had always been so sensitive. To Levi, letting Eren touch his legs was the ultimate expression of trust. Then he felt the cream on his thigh, and a small cry caught up in his throat. He slapped a hand over his mouth before he attracted attention.
"Are you okay?" Eren immediately asked.
"Fine!" he whispered in a hiss. "I'm … I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!" Levi sneered at the sharp sound of his voice, not wanting to act coldly to him, not now. "Really, it's okay. Go on."
Worried, Eren reached forward. Again Levi flinched, but he held still, breathing through the initial reaction.
"It's fine," Levi insisted, although his throat sounded strained.
"I'll only do the bruises," Eren promised.
He kept his word. He knew this area was highly sensitive, so he made the work there swift. The whole time, Levi had one hand on his mouth. As Eren knelt at Levi's feet and rubbed on the cream, he occasionally lifted his eyes. He saw just how these touches were affecting Levi. The temptation was right there, right in front of him, eager and ready. He bit his lip and looked down to his hand that wanted to touch other parts of Levi's body.
He couldn't! Not now! Not when he knew Levi was only like this because of some pills.
"There," he whispered, not wanting to overdo things. Eren pulled back and began to close up the jar.
Feeling Eren's warmth retreating, Levi snapped softly, "Wait!" He glanced down, seeing Eren looking stunned. Levi felt awkward by his outburst. He needed to come up with an excuse. "That spot on my hip, it could use some more."
Eren hesitated, but he slowly unscrewed the lid again. Levi turned around and faced the wall, struggling to keep his breathing steady. He felt Eren's finger lightly caress the bruise on his lower back.
"Here?"
"Yes," he whispered.
As Eren slowly massaged the cream into the swollen bruise, he could hear ragged, shivering breaths from Levi. Eren scolded himself and shook his head. It sounded so erotic, little silent huffing, sometimes a small moan clenched tightly deep in his throat. Hearing Levi like that was affecting Eren, and he reached down to adjust himself.
He couldn't!
He shook his head as the proverbial devil on his shoulder told him to go ahead and touch; Levi obviously wanted it. No! He had promised to behave. Still, when Levi sounded so sexy, how could he possibly control himself?
Eren suddenly wrapped his arms around Levi and pressed his brow into the small of his back, where there were no bruises.
"What the hell are you doing?" Levi asked in annoyance.
He gnashed his teeth as he clung tightly. "Trying not to touch you. You're doing this on purpose, tempting me." He leaned up, and his hands drifted back around, massaging the two plump butt cheeks. "I'm not strong like you."
"Then don't be." Levi sighed and rested his head against the wall. "Don't be."
Eren looked up at him. He shouldn't! And yet Levi wanted it. He swore to himself, he would only touch a little. He rubbed around Levi's rump, just enough to feel every curve of the smooth globes. How he would love to worship this tiny view of perfection! Hardly thinking, he leaned forward and kissed Levi's butt cheek, then another kiss to the other edge of the bruise by the hip.
Levi glanced down. "Are you seriously kissing my arse?"
Eren shrugged. "I guess so."
"Why?"
Eren smirked up at him. "Didn't your mother ever kiss a bruise to make it feel better?"
"No."
"My mother did. I knew it didn't work that way, but it seemed like magic. My mother could kiss a wound and the pain stopped." He gave another kiss. "Maybe I can take away a bit of your pain."
He kissed the bruise just under the butt cheek, and Levi let out a gasp. That had hit a ticklish spot, and he barely kept from yelping.
"Sorry," whispered Eren.
"It's okay," Levi said breathlessly.
Eren glanced up, seeing Levi's face solidly red, and up front there was no mistaking how this was affecting him. "Do you really mean that?" he whispered, rubbing his hands up Levi's sharp hip bones. "Is this okay?"
"Yes, it's … it's okay."
Eren hesitated, just in case Levi changed his mind. Seeing him standing firm, he kissed the other butt cheek, then peppered kisses up to his lower back. Levi put his hands on the wall, holding himself up, as Eren kissed more spots. Levi breathed in shallow gasps as each kiss made his body jolt. He glanced down and saw just how stiff he was, to the point of aching. The temptation to stroke himself while Eren kissed his whole body was strong. He began to reach down, but just then Eren's hands slipped up Levi's stomach, making his hand flinch out of the way.
Eren's lips started to work down, laying kisses on his butt cheeks. Slowly, like being in a trance, his nose rubbed down the butt crack, wanting to spread it, to see and touch and kiss more. He slid his fingers back down Levi's torso, gently groped the two cheeks, and spread them ever-so-carefully, until he caught a glimpse of the small hole. Eren blew on it, and Levi's whole body trembled. Then his tongue slid out and got a tiny lick.
Levi yanked away with a gasp. "What the hell?" He clumsily reached down for his long johns and yanked them back up.
"I'm sorry," Eren cried out, stunned by his own actions. Where had that come from?
"That's enough for tonight." Then Levi grumbled, "Putain Popaul!" Fucking dick!
Eren sat on his heels, flustered and confused, while Levi cursed in French. Why had he done that? So stupid! He was also painfully turned on, his crotch aching at being ignored.
Eren closed up the arnica jar, set it aside, and went to the bathroom to clean up for the night. He splashed his face with cold water to soothe the inflamed desires.
Seriously, why had he done all of that? It had been pure instinct. He thought he could control himself better than that, but he was weak.
Eren stepped out and saw Levi sitting at the table, fully dressed again. At least he had not run away. Eren came over, fell to his knees, and put his head on Levi's lap.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling bad that he had pushed Levi's limits.
Levi was stunned by the humbling act. His hand rose on its own, hesitated, but landed on Eren's head.
"Don't be sorry. You were right, I tempted you on purpose. I … I wanted … I don't bloody know what I wanted." He grumbled, "So much for casting away sins."
Eren raised his head and smiled wistfully. "Did you want all of that? Did you like it?"
Levi gritted his teeth and refused to answer.
Eren hummed and nodded. "I see. You thought you wanted it, but you're not ready for more."
Levi's gaze drifted. More! The thought was both sweet and horrifying, filled with gentle memories of love and brutal memories of rape. The pain pills were keeping him away from those darker thoughts, but his body still flinched.
Eren stood, took Levi's face in his hands, and kissed his forehead. "That's why I'm stopping it here." He walked over to the bed and climbed in.
Levi stared down at his lap where the heat of Eren's forehead still lingered. He came back to this hotel thinking he could control himself. Now, he was not so sure.
Worse, he was unsure if he wanted to control himself. Especially now. With the anxiety gone, he wanted to explore this while he felt as normal as he was probably ever going to get.
Yet that was dangerous. Without fear, he had no sense of self-preservation, and if neither one of them wanted to stop things, it was only a matter of time before they went too far and got caught.
As the relaxation of the pills turned into sleepiness, Levi got up, flicked the lights off, and slipped into bed. Eren wrapped around him and gave him a soft kiss. Levi felt like they should probably talk about this, but as his head hit the pillow, something spiraled within him.
"Dizzy," he whispered just seconds before the pain pills plunged him into a drugged sleep.
Eren felt the sudden limpness behind him. "Levi?" he whispered in worry. He felt heavy breaths on the back of his neck as Levi breathed out of a slack, opened mouth. Eren squeezed the limp fingers. "I hope your dreams are better this time."
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Cuxhaven – Located in Lower Saxony and right on the North Sea, Cuxhaven is across some mudflats from the island of Neuwerk. I chose this town particularly because I fell in love with Neuwerk's lighthouse, built in 1367. (I'm obsessed with medieval architecture and lighthouses!) You can reach Neuwerk during low tide by crossing in a special horse-drawn carriage known as a wattwagen (mud wagon). This has been a favorite activity for tourists for a very long time.
During World War II, Cuxhaven was part of a German military radio network, and from here the last ENIGMA-code encrypted message of the war was transmitted, reporting the arrival of British troops. It ends: "Closing down forever - all the best - goodbye." A grim way to signal the collapse of Nazi Germany!
Daniel in the lion's den – "to walk into the lion's den" is an idiom meaning to knowingly walk into a dangerous situation. It comes from the biblical story of Daniel. According to the Bible, when Darius the Mede defeated and took over Babylon, he discovered that the Jew-in-exiled Daniel had been a high-ranked official under Nebuchadnezzar and his son Belshazzar, interpreting dreams and divine signs for the kings, all while maintaining his purity with the Hebrew God. Darius also found him to be trustworthy and raised him to be one of the highest officials in Babylon. Daniel's rivals wanted to discredit him but could not find any dirt. The one thing was that he continued to worship Yahweh, including praying three times a day. They convinced Darius to make a law that for thirty days, no one may pray to other gods or men but the king himself, on punishment of being thrown into a lion's den. When they caught Daniel praying, they had him arrested. Darius had to stick to his own laws. Reluctantly, he had Daniel tossed into a lion's den. Come morning, the king rushed to the den and shouted out for Daniel to see if he was still alive. Daniel was perfectly fine and said God had sent an angel to close the jaws of the lions. Darius had the men who conspired against Daniel thrown to the lions, along with their wives and children.
As a history nerd, I should note that there is no historical evidence of someone named "Darius the Mede" ruling Babylon, especially since it was the Persians, not the Medes, who conquered the city, and there are ancient Babylonian texts detailing how Babylon fell on October 12, 539 BCE, at the hands of Cyrus the Great of Persia. While Nebuchadnezzar is a historic figure, Belshazzar wasn't his son, nor was he even related to him. He was the son of Nabonidus, who is well-known to historians as being the world's first archaeologist, as well as the last native Mesopotamian ruler of a Mesopotamian state. It was he who was the last king of Babylon. The Talmud and Midrash go into even more details, including that Darius and Cyrus were the doorkeepers of Belshazzar's palace, the king ordered that no person was to enter the palace, yet he left the palace, tried to re-enter, and the two doorkeepers killed him in order to follow the king's own orders. This is purely ridiculous, since Cyrus the Great was a Persian king, NOT a Babylonian doorkeeper, and his battles before attacking Babylon are documented. Darius (again) is not mentioned in any other ancient texts, and Belshazzar wasn't the last king; his father was.
Modern scholars generally consider the Book of Daniel to be literary fiction, including the three stories about Daniel in the Catholic Bible that are not present in the Protestant version of the Bible. (Prayer of Azariah and Song of the Three Jews, which should come after Daniel 3:23, and Bel and the Dragon, which is the entire 14th chapter of Daniel in the Catholic Bible.) So Daniel's visions, prophecies, and the whole "writing on the wall" story aren't remotely based on historical fact, at least none that we have yet unearthed, and even Christian sects felt parts were best removed from the Bible. Sorry to ruin a Sunday School favorite.
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Dangerous Territory