The Annals of Fear

"What were you trying to do, Mello?" Deontic asked. There had been candles on the dining room table. These now illuminated a small area around the hearth. They were huddled here together, Century prone and Mello bandaged, but each within the tiniest touch from each other. "You made it stop. Before she came."



Mello had been silently nibbling on his chocolate, propped up in the space between Century and the armchair. Matt drifted from his other side to the fire, feeding it coal, then back. Mello swallowed the chocolate in his mouth, replying quietly, "You were all falling to bits. You were scared." He spoke with a hint of irony. "Yeah, like you aren\'t all terrified now." He took another bite, speaking through the chocolate this time. "Century isn\'t Pagan, but that chant to Elen saved him. You all seemed so very dubious about my conviction that the meeting with Flight Lieutenant Lees wasn\'t coincidental. It felt like all that happened in Gorskica couldn\'t touch me anymore, because I\'d already got it out." He sniffed. "I just added up the dots. It\'s not what we\'re thinking, it\'s the reasoning behind it. These little things gave us faith. Hope. It felt like protection."



Deontic gave a sigh of understanding. "Fear was undoing us, so you provided shields against fear."



"Yes." Mello watched Matt poking at the fire. It was turning the room into a sauna, but it was a comfort. The light and warmth felt like something that they could use with which to survive the night. Besides it was making them all sweat, which could only be good for dispelling calcium ions from their system. "In my time, I\'ve seen hardcase men singing out everything they knew on account of what their imaginations told them would happen if they didn\'t. You know how to use fear and you can withstand anything. People try to freak you out, because you\'re more malleable. But keep on smiling, like you know something that they don\'t, and that fear turns on them instead. People will do anything to avoid fear. Even rat on their Family."



Matt smiled back at him. "But we aren\'t up against Don Corleone now." He indicated towards the window. Gwrach-y-Rhibyn was still out there, encircling the house.



Mello shrugged. "But it\'s also there in Carlo Castañeda. That\'s how they dealt with the flyers. The flyers induced fear and then fed off the flares of awareness that the humans used to try and combat their fear. The trick was to not be afraid." He shivered, despite the heat. "If you weren\'t afraid, then the flyers couldn\'t feed off you."



"Mello." Deontic commented, kindly, "It worked. Everything stopped, until we got something new."



Mello stared at her. Eventually, he commented, "Yes."



Matt put the poker down, his fingers itching for his PSP, but there was no life in that either. "Do you still think it\'s a flyer, Mello?"



Mello scowled. "It\'s patently the fucking Gwrach-y-Rhibyn. I was wrong."



"Not necessarily." Matt inched across until he was squashed between Mello and the side of the fireplace again, with armchair at his back. "You and Dee have both said that it\'s more than one thing here. Century said that it wasn\'t all Welsh, but she," he pointed to the riverside of the house, where the entity was currently howling, "is as Welsh as they come."



There was a sniffing down on the mattress and they all looked in the direction of it. Century\'s arm rose to cover his eyes. Deontic sighed. "Century, don\'t cry." She took his hand and held it, looking at Mello and Matt in an appeal for help.



Mello lowered his chocolate and, leaving it on his lap, he patted Century\'s shoulder. "Come on, we\'re all scared. Why are you crying?"



Century didn\'t reply. He was too busy trying to stem his tears, but they kept on falling. Deontic stared pointedly at Mello, "Could it be because he\'s already had one heart attack and now he needs medical attention, in a house with that," She jabbed a finger at the ceiling, "flying above us. A creature which, to my understanding, only comes for people of pure Welsh stock. That\'s certainly not me, you or Matt, is it?"



Mello bowed his head. "You\'re not going to die." He quietly assured the teenager, though there was no conviction in his voice. "We will find a way out of this situation." His other hand stroked Matt\'s thigh. The redhead flashed a wan smile at him, then raised his arm to place it around Mello\'s shoulder. Mello leaned into him, taking the comfort. "Century, I swear to God that I never meant this to go so wrong. I don\'t want to see any of you dead. Even Near. I had the opportunity once to total him and I didn\'t. I need the mental stimulus of you all too much. There are so many fucking stupid people out in the world, that make me want to pull my brain out of my ears with a pair of tweezers, just so I don\'t have to listen to them any more. I feel alive with you lot. I know I act like a twat sometimes, but it\'s only because I want to beat you."



"Only sometimes?" Deontic snapped, bitterly.



Mello bit his lip and took up his chocolate again. "Can we say that I\'ve learned a powerful lesson tonight?" Deontic and Matt both looked at him. Century was still trying hard to stop crying. Mello took a tiny bite of his chocolate. "I kept on thinking that help would come. Fenian knew that it had gone wrong. He knew that we were in trouble. The last bit of conversation that I had with him was an exchange of insults. He was calling me a fucking something when the connection was lost. It must have sounded to him like I just hung up on him." Mello\'s head lowered until it was against Matt\'s chest. "If I hadn\'t. If I\'d made my peace with him, like you wanted us to, Dee, then maybe that conversation would have been a sharing of knowledge instead. Maybe he would have tried to ring back. Tried all of us. Then realised that if he couldn\'t get through, then we couldn\'t call out either. Fenian\'s sharp as a knife, he would have put two and two together. We could have been in a hospital by now. But we\'re not, just because I refuse to meet him halfway and he\'s scared shitless of me."



Deontic nodded. "Fair comment."



Matt glared over Mello\'s head at her. "It\'s not all one side. Fenian\'s been at least 50% of the argument over the years."



Century removed his arm and reached out, shakily, for the pint of water above his head. Deontic stretched out to get it for him. Century took it. "Diolch." He took several long gulps. Then asked, with a voice hoarse with tears, "Did she say a name?"



"Who?" Mello peered sidewards back at him.



Deontic moved to take a candle and light it from the one on the hearth. She held it close to Century\'s face. His pallor was ashen and there was a faint trace of cyanosis around his lips. She froze, gritting her teeth, but Century went on, "Gwrach-y-Rhibyn. Has anyone heard her say a name?"



Matt nodded, "She said something when she was on the car. It sounded like Fee Hugger. Nothing that sounded like Century or Iestyn to me. Fee Hugger. Tree Hugger. I don\'t know." Beside him, Mello indicated that he was no wiser.



Century tried it out silently, his lips barely moving around the sounds. He was shaking so much that the water threatened to spill from his glass. Deontic took it from him. "Century, lie back down." Her eyes shone with unshed tears. She held her candle close to Mello and Matt. The bandage around Mello\'s chest had a thin line of blood staining it. Those on his face were clean. She glanced at Matt\'s arm and that too was clean. Deontic turned to hunt through the First Aid box for another large bandage. They had all been used. "I\'m going to check for signals again." She commented and stood. There were none. All \'phone and computers were dead to the outside world. "I\'m going to refill the glasses while I\'m up. We need to keep drinking water."



"I\'ll help." Matt started to move, though Mello stared at him with startled eyes. "I\'ll be right back."



"I\'ll..."



"Look after Century." Matt scrambled to his feet and sauntered out after Deontic. Mello followed the light of their candle with his eyes. Matt blew him a kiss from the kitchen doorway, with the candle held close enough to his face to see. Once inside the kitchen, he and Deontic hurried to fill each glass and mug they could find. "I actually fancy a cup of tea."



"You\'ve gone native." Deontic whispered. The entity was somewhere in the yard behind the curtains in front of her. She could hear it scratching and keening. "What are you thinking?"



"Century needs calming the fuck down and Mello needs an extra bandage."



Deontic nodded. "My diagnosis exactly." She moved out of the way while Matt filled the kettle. "I think I saw her down by the river and she didn\'t attack me. Maybe I\'m too Malaysian for her to bother. I could go out there and bring a car to the door."



Matt blew out his cheeks. He switched on the kettle, then lit a cigarette. The embers at the tip of it reflected double in his goggles. He sauntered back to the connecting door and called out. "Just making a cuppa. Hot chocolate and tea is on its way."



Mello called back. "Mail, do not do anything stupid. Please."



Matt nodded, though he doubted that Mello would see that, and returned into the kitchen. Deontic had resumed her water collecting. Matt leaned against the worktop beside her. "My car is nearer. She landed on mine to springboard to the door. I\'m thinking some kind of shield." He gazed around the kitchen, with all its flickering shadows in the candlelight. "Has anyone found the fusebox yet? I saw lights down in the valley. It can\'t be a powercut. I might be able to reinstate it."



"It\'s outside." Deontic sighed. "I saw it around the side of the house."



"Oh."



"Shield? She cuts through leather, so Mello\'s jacket won\'t be enough." Deontic looked at the aluminium sink. Matt crouched to inspect the cupboard door beneath it. "It\'s got to be something light enough that I could run carrying it."



Matt took a drag on his cigarette. "Or I could just wait until she\'s around the front and make a run for it."



"You\'d still have to leave yourself time to unlock the door."



Matt smiled at her and lifted his keyring. He pressed a button on the fob with an expectant grin. Then frowned and pressed it again. "... the fuck?"



"Battery\'s gone." Deontic shrugged. "Why did you expect anything else?"



Matt looked pensive. "What are the chances of the car battery having some juice left?"



Deontic filled the last of her glasses. "Right now, I\'d say zero." She stared at the curtains. "If it comes to it, will you be able to do CPR with your arm cut up so badly?"



Matt nodded. "No choice in the matter."



"Good." She lifted the tray of glasses and glanced at his boiling kettle. "Because I won\'t be able to do it alone for as long as it\'s going to take for help to arrive."



"We should have stayed with the Chrissie and Salvo thing."



"Yes." Deontic sniffed. "Mello was a day too early with that brainwave." She put the tray back down again. "I\'m going to have to try. It\'s all well and good deducing that the cars are dead, but if we don\'t check, we won\'t know. It could be the difference between life and death."



Matt nodded. "You saw the cyanosis too then?" His eyes widened suddenly. "Shit! Is there juice in the defib?"



Deontic bit her lip hard. She marched across to the knife rack and snatched up a cleaver. She took up her coat, then wrapped it around another of the stainless steel trays. The arms were knotted around one side, as tightly as she could get them. Matt impassively watched her as he made the hot drinks. Deontic took a third tray and pushed it under her cardigan at the back. A fourth went under the cardigan at the front. "Help me tie these into place."



Matt removed his own belt and buckled it tightly around her ribcage. Her movement was restricted, but she could walk and move her arms. "You\'re really trying this?"



"Yes." Deontic replied, with steely determination. She hurried to the draining board and took up a medium sized saucepan, which she wedged onto her head. "Get me Mello\'s leather jacket and my car keys."



Matt nodded and carried two of the steaming mugs through into the sitting room. It was not Matt, but Mello who returned. His eyes blazed. "Are you fucking insane, woman?"



Deontic silently cursed Matt. "Someone has got to try something." She looked for the leather jacket in his hand, but Mello wasn\'t carrying it. Deontic played her trump card immediately. "If it\'s not me, then it\'ll be Matt who attempts it." As Mello started to move forward, she hissed at him. "Century has cyanosis around his lips. He thinks he\'s going to die. I think he\'s had or having another heart attack. The 48 hours after the first are so critical. There\'s not even scar tiss..." She was swept up into Mello\'s embrace, his arms tightly around her, though it must have hurt his chest to do so. "Mello."



Mello breathed into her ear. "You are worth more than this, Pek Wan Lim." His hand cupped the back of her neck and she was terrified that he was going to kiss her. "I don\'t want you going out there and getting hurt."



"Let me go." Deontic replied stiffly. "Stop hugging me."



He sighed and stepped away. There was more blood seeping through the bandage on his chest than she\'d remembered. "You\'re really prepared to die to save us three?" His gaze locked onto hers and he didn\'t blink. "Look at me. I\'m Mello. You hate me. Look."



"No, Mihael." Deontic stared right back. "I don\'t. You infuriate the crap out of me, but I don\'t hate you. Now can I please borrow your leather jacket?"



Mello gave her a long, hard look, then shook his head and went to retrieve it from the other room. He was gone for a minute or two, but returned with the jacket and her keys. "It\'s a pity that I didn\'t come on my bike. My biking leathers and helmet are practically armour in themselves. It would have saved you having to go out looking like the Tin Man."



"Needs must when the Devil calls." Deontic replied briskly. She had spent the intervening time pushing down all emotion, in order to prepare herself for the dash outside. She was helped on with the jacket. "If I fall, don\'t come out after me. There\'s no wisdom in more of us getting hurt."



"No." Mello agreed wryly. "So why don\'t I go out there instead?"



"Because you\'ve already lost too much blood and I\'d prefer it if you were sitting down by the fire, like you should be." Deontic stated fiercely. She took up her makeshift shield, looping the knotted sleeves of her coat over her arm and holding up the tray padded with her coat. "Wish me luck."



Mello nodded, looking uncomfortable. "I\'ll be waiting behind the door. At the first sight of her, run through it and I\'ll close it behind you."



"Thank you." Deontic set off before she could change her mind. She hadn\'t heard Gwrach-y-Rhibyn directly outside for a couple of minutes. She sounded like she was around the front of the house again. Deontic paused at the back door, with Mello right behind her. She lifted her chin, opened the door and hurtled out as fast as she could. The saucepan immediately fell from her head and clattered on the cobbles with a loud, metallic clang. Deontic didn\'t stop. She collided with the front bumper of Matt\'s Camero, but careered off it onto her own car\'s wing. She daren\'t look back, but could feel Mello\'s eyes boring into the back of her head. She dropped the cleaver onto the floor and fumbled with the key to get it into the lock. Remarkably, it went in first time and she snatched open the door to collapse hurriedly inside. Only when she was safely in the BMW did she look back. Mello was in the doorway. His hand on the door, but his body exposed. She knew, just looking at him, that he would not have let her fall and not come for her. He was poised for flight towards her. As injured as he was, Mello would have picked her up and fought off the creature hurting her. From his body language and his stance, she just knew it. Deontic felt a tear slide from the corner of her eye. It didn\'t matter what had gone before, right now, she respected Mello as a friend and a brother, whatever he may think of her.



Deontic gave him a little wave to say that she was alright, but then, with a great flapping gust and a screaming howl, Gwrach-y-Rhibyn was back. The creature landed on the Camero\'s bonnet, her head turning this way and that, seeking them both out. Deontic watched, her heart in her mouth, as Mello took a step backwards and closed the door. She sat frozen, hearing the bloodcurling cries and staring up into those sorrowful, piercing eyes. She thought she could understand now how people died of fright. Her heart pounded desperately in her chest and she was seeing stars. This is how Century must have gone up on the mountain-side. This was how half of the band must have died.



Deontic closed her eyes. In her mind\'s eye, she was back in Singapore and her grandmother was setting out the table for their dinner. It was laksa. She could practically smell the herbs. Light poured in from the windows. Holding the image in her mind, Deontic reached out blindly. With a little fumbling, she found the ignition, though she had to open her eyes to insert the key. She took care not to look up. She could not meet the Gwrach-y-Rhibyn\'s eyes again. It was enough to hear her, but Deontic had been hearing that for ages. She turned the key and nothing happened. "Anak haram!" Deontic screamed and punched the dashboard. She kept on trying, her foot pummelling the clutch until she had surely flooded the engine, but still the BMW would not spark into life. "Diu! Fuck! Hai!"



Light was spilling out onto the cobbles in front of her. Deontic looked up. From the corner of her vision, she could see Gwrach-y-Rhibyn hunched up, still on the bonnet of Matt\'s car. Deontic did not look at her. Instead, her whole view was taken up by Mello framed in the kitchen window. He had opened the curtains and a candle rested on the window ledge before him. His hands were clasped in an attitude of prayer, but his eyes never left her. When he saw her looking, he raised one hand in a small wave and his smile wasn\'t cruel. He lowered his palm, bouncing it on the air in front of him, mouthing over the gesture, "Stay there."



She nodded and waited. It took ten minutes for Gwrach-y-Rhibyn to fly away again and, for all of that time, her gaze remained locked with Mello\'s. As the entity rose, Mello ran and Deontic saw the backdoor opening. She pressed down the handle and fled, leaving the BMW\'s door open behind her. She didn\'t running until she was in Mello\'s arms and the backdoor was kicked shut behind her. Only then did she scream out her panic and let herself be held.