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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39447 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 47
- 48
- 49
A/N: Sorry I went on yet another long break. I took too many fan requests and worked myself into a plot kink ... and not the sexy type! I had to rearrange a lot of chapters, remove a few I had planned that were no longer working, and shift events around. I think I fixed things. I then also went on vacation. It was my 10-year wedding anniversary last week! Lots of romantic adventures! Thank you for being patient ... well, at least those of you who weren't messaging me every other day wondering when I'd update. XD

Chapter 48

Battling an Invisible Darkness

Over the next two weeks, Gray took Natsu out on more dates than they had gone on in the entire time they had been dating. Almost every day, Natsu wanted to do something together. It could be as simple as sharing a milkshake at the guild—and getting plenty of teases from their friends—to as romantic as dinner on the lake at sunset. Sometimes they went on a date in the morning, and then before the sun set, Natsu insisted on going on another outing.
Happy giggled as Natsu pulled Gray away again, insisting there was a movie he wanted to watch, a new comedy-adventure film, and he dragged Gray by the hand until he was almost tripping out the guild doors.
Mira smiled as the two left. "My, they sure are a boisterous couple."
"Aye!" Happy agreed. "Natsu says Gray is finally learning to be romantic."
"Finally?" Mira asked in surprise. "I figured he would be the romantic one in their relationship."
Happy gulped down the fish he was eating. "Nope. Gray's really shy. He's tsundere!" he declared proudly. "He tries, but Natsu has to help him along sometimes. Gray is really bad at expressing his emotions. He can't even really say I love you in public, or at least I've never heard him say it. He'll say other stuff, but he blushes a lot whenever he does."
"That's rather cute," Mira tittered happily. "So, Natsu is teaching Gray how to settle down and be a real, romantic couple, eh?"
"Aye! Natsu came home after one of their nights together, and he said he and Gray were gonna be okay, but things might change. I didn't know what he meant, but then they started going on dates and not just sleeping over all the time—" Happy suddenly covered his mouth as he realized what he said. "Um … I meant … uh…"
"It's okay," Mira smiled, patting his head, but she was definitely intrigued. Sleeping over all the time? Oh, she knew what that meant! "Still, I wonder what happened to make that sort of change."
She pondered over it. Nothing huge had happened to the guild in a while. The two did not have any fights in the guild, their relationship at least in public was the same as ever, although Natsu acted much more clingy, and Gray was slightly more accepting of Natsu's occasional public displays of affection. He still blushed if Natsu kissed him or grabbed his hand, and sometimes Natsu whispered something that made Gray hiss at him to shut up. However, there had not been any large changes as far as she could see.
So why had those two changed from what sounded like quite a sexually active relationship to simple dating? It was like they were going in reverse.
And that troubled Mira just a little.

Rather than the movie theater, Gray walked with Natsu to his apartment. Natsu followed along, but he frowned at such a big detour. Maybe Gray forgot his money. Although Natsu had always insisted on paying for dates, sometimes Gray bought popcorn as a way to make it even.

Finally, they walked into the chilled home. It had been a while since Natsu had been here, before his episode with getting his dark childhood memories back. They had simply not come back to this place.
Or maybe Natsu was purposely avoiding it.
He looked around. Nothing had changed, except the smell was slightly different. The room had begun to smell more and more like Natsu, and like sex. Now it smelled similar to how it used to before they hooked up.
"Um, Gray, why are we coming here?" He let out a soft grunt and folded his arms across his chest. "I thought we were going on a date."
"We are," Gray said with a devious smile. His eyes ventured up and down Natsu's body. "I thought we'd … spice it up a bit."
Natsu's brow tensed in disapproval. "It's supposed to be a nice, simple, fun date."
"Oh, it'll be lots of fun," Gray assured with a chuckle. "Just … not quite so simple. I'm planning something a little special."
Natsu knew Gray's definition of special. "What did you have in mind?" he asked warily.
Gray heard the displeasure already. He had been holding back for weeks, realizing Natsu needed time to recover, to sort out whatever that dark memory was. He had been patient, but his body craved warmth and the Dragon Slayer's strong embrace. This was worse than the time he was sick, because now there was nothing truly stopping them. Only a shadow, that released darkness that hung between them like a gauzy veil.
Gray felt he had waited long enough.
He walked up to Natsu and rubbed his arms, but the Dragon Slayer did not stop pouting at him sullenly or loosen up the crossed elbows over his chest.
"I know you're still recovering—"
"Yeah!" Natsu snapped softly, pulling away slightly.
"But what would you think about sitting at the movies … and having something inside."
"Huh?" Natsu said, pulling back more. "I'm not gonna have your dick up my ass while I'm trying to watch a film!"
"Not me, idiot. Something else."
Natsu tried to think what else they could possibly use. "The butt plug?" he asked quietly.
"I have two. Both have a remote. We each take one remote that controls the other person's toy. We could turn on the vibrations, enjoy tormenting one another, and I don't even have to touch you."
Gray thought this was perfect. Natsu had been acting clingy since that night, but he also showed skittish behavior, often withdrawing when Gray tried to touch him back. This way, they could both enjoy some pleasure, and Natsu would not have to worry about Gray touching him in the wrong place.
Still, Natsu cringed and looked away. Doing something like that in public … "Gray," he warned, shaking his head.
Gray stroked his cheek enticingly. "It'd be sexy, sitting in a movie theater, in public, watching you squirming around." He did not understand why Natsu still looked opposed. This was sexy as hell! How could he not see that? "I'm granting you full control over me," he pointed out. That was a big deal to Gray, and he felt Natsu should be honored that he would allow this much control to be in Natsu's hands.
Still, Natsu protested, "I wouldn't be able to pay attention to the movie."
Gray shrugged that off. "Screw the movie."
"No! I wanna watch a movie."
"Natsu…" He was about to argue, but he held back. Gray's libido took a dive. Shit! He was just being pushy. "Is it too soon?"
"Maybe," he mumbled, although his mind screamed that it was definitely too soon. "Look, I'm sorry." Natsu turned away sadly. "I know it's been over two weeks, and … still…" His eyes slammed shut. Still, those memories came up at the worst times. Memories of blood, screams, death, insanity… "I'm sorry."
Gray sighed, but how could he be frustrated? Feeling angry was not fair to Natsu. They had cut open a festered wound in his soul, and the healing was taking a long time.
Gray walked up to him and hugged Natsu from behind. He felt the broad shoulders tense for a second, and then relax at the familiar embrace. He leaned over and kissed the back side of Natsu's ear.
"Someday?" Gray asked. "Not now, but … someday would you want to do that?"
Natsu let out a sigh, and Gray felt him tensing up again. "I … I don't know. Maybe," he muttered. He suddenly yanked away and spun at Gray. "Why do you always have to do this, Gray? I told you, I just want a date. Can't I have normal dates?"
Gray immediately backed off at the anger, stunned by it. "Well, yeah. Of course," he assured, trying to recover from the shocking outburst. "It … it was just an idea."
The anger faded, and Natsu turned away again. Softly, he muttered, "I know. I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," Gray said automatically. "My mistake. You're right. You wanted a simple date."
He walked aside, glanced at the bedroom, but shook his head. Sex was still off-limits. Until Natsu healed, Gray just had to deal with his raging hormones on his own and be there emotionally for his boyfriend. They were fighting this darkness together, except it was an enemy Gray could not see, and a shadow that seemed to be constantly reflected in Natsu's dimmed eyes.
"Well," Gray said, spinning back around. "I guess we can go now, catch an early show."
Natsu eyed him warily. "You came all this way just because you wanted that?" he asked acridly. "You didn't even ask. You just dragged me along," he accused.
"I…"
"You assumed!" Natsu shouted angrily. "You figured I'd be obedient and submissive and go along with what you want, like I always do, even after I told you I wasn't ready for that sort of stuff."
Gray's head dropped at the scolding, but he could not deny it. He really had figured Natsu would agree. He always agreed. He would not have to touch Natsu at all. Besides, two weeks should be more than enough time! He thought … he assumed…
"Yeah, I guess I did," he admitted apologetically. "I shouldn't have just assumed it'd be okay now. I'm sorry."
Natsu kept glaring at him. Then he turned and walked to the window, peering out, and took a slow, steadying breath, trying to calm his rage.
This was not the first time Natsu's mood flipped so drastically. At first, Gray thought it was just sub-drop, that time after really intense BDSM when a submissive's emotions were fragile and tempers could be volatile. Now, he realized this went much deeper. Natsu had traumatizing memories suddenly thrust back into his mind. He had years of anger, fear, and self-loathing bottled up inside as well. Gray kept thinking of this as draining a festering wound. Poison came gushing out at the most unexpected times.
Natsu was not the same. Sometimes he laughed happier than ever, sometimes he brooded in a way Gray never saw in him before, and at the most unexpected moments, he lashed out in fury. It was only at Gray, though. He had not noticed the Dragon Slayer acting this emotionally erratic toward anyone else.
Gray wondered if Natsu simply felt comfortable enough around him to release those darker emotions, or if that anger was subconsciously directed at him because he had been the one who pushed Natsu deep enough to open that door into the darkness. He felt like he was treading on something fragile and dangerous now. Since the darkness haunting Natsu flared up only around him, Gray often wondered if maybe Natsu would be best without him, just a week apart, maybe a long solo mission to give them both time. Then the Dragon Slayer grabbed his arm, hung on, and sometimes clung to him as if Gray was a shield against an enemy's poisoned arrows. Just as Gray thought Natsu truly needed him, he would suddenly pull away again.
"Natsu, what…?"
"What?" came a low growl.
Gray's words clenched off. This wasn't like him at all! Gray wanted to be there for Natsu, but the mood swings were torturing him. He never knew what to say or do, and Gray hated being out of control. He tried to remind himself over and over again, Natsu had just remembered something traumatic, a past so horrendous, his mind had blocked all memory of it. Gray had no clue at all what that deep darkness could be. Something bad. Something bloody. His mind imagined horrible scenarios, but he was unsure if he was thinking far worse than this really was or—what really worried him—maybe he was underestimating this darkness that traumatized someone as strong as Natsu Dragneel.
He knew he should be happy Natsu still wanted to be a dating couple. It was good that Natsu wanted romantic evenings together. Sex had to wait, but at least he was okay with kissing, holding hands, dating…
So why did Gray feel so uncomfortable with this?
What was going on between them?
"Gray?"
"What?" he yelped as he was knocked out of his brooding fears.
Natsu looked back, surprised by the outburst, but then he looked aside sadly. "Nothing."
"N-no!" Gray cried out, rushing over to him in dire concern, fearing Natsu might decide he did not want dating or romance or anything anymore. "What is it?"
Natsu's eyes looked up at him, and Gray could see he had something serious to say. His lips began to part, but he paused. His mouth closed, and he looked back out the window. "No, it's nothing."
Gray began to reach to him, but held back, worried if touching him was a bad idea. Anything could be a bad idea at this fragile time. Why the hell had he thought using goddamn butt plugs was a good idea? He wanted to go back just ten minutes and slap the shit out of himself for suggesting it.
"Natsu?" he whispered in worry. Had he pushed things too far? He felt so scared, seeing Natsu pull away and looking outside like that. Looking away from him! It was like … like he was about to lose him, like he was slowly drifting away, falling into shadows.
'Don't drift away from me! Natsu … don't pull away. Don't leave me!'
Natsu suddenly spun around and flashed his same old smile. "We better get going, right?"
Gray gulped hard at the sudden mood change. This was too forced, and it was blatantly obvious. What was Natsu hiding? Hell, he was hiding lots of stuff, but … what had he been wanting to say just now? Why was he looking out the window like that? Why did Gray sense a change between them?
"Y-yeah," he stuttered. "Anytime you want."
Natsu looked concerned now. "What is it, Gray? You seem … distracted."
He shrugged casually. "I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yeah," he said flatly. Was Natsu simply unaware of his mood swings, or was he trying desperately to pretend they were not happening? However hard this was on Gray, he imagined it must be a hundred times worse on Natsu. He was the one suffering.
"Hey, can we hold hands again?" Natsu asked cheerfully.
How could he flip like this? Gray let out a scoff. "It's a little embarrassing, you know."
"But … I like it," he pouted.
Gray still felt cautious. He did not want to do anything to push Natsu away. He wanted to cater to him during this healing phase. If he wanted to be cute and pretend they did not just have a dark moment together, and to hold hands in public … holding onto him was better than losing him. Anything was better than that.
He shoved his hand out with blushing cheeks. Natsu grinned in excitement and grabbed him possessively. Gray smiled at his cheerfulness, but he still felt wary. All the way to the movie theater, he felt like whatever darkness Natsu had freed last night was following them, ready to tear them apart at any moment.

"That movie was great!" Natsu exclaimed as they left the cinema. "What should we do next?"

Gray had almost forgotten all about the trouble earlier. They had both cheered up with the comedy. The film was long enough and funny enough to push aside all bad feelings. He waited until they were away from the milling crowd, then he reached around Natsu and let his hand rest casually on his butt.
"We could go back to my place," he smiled, giving that muscular ass a soft squeeze.
Natsu's face fell, and he pulled back sharply. In an instant, Gray realized the issue earlier was not over. Shit!
"I … I was more thinking like … food," Natsu said timidly, and to Gray it was like a darkness hung just behind him, threatening to rip Natsu away from him.
Gray forced a smile. "Of course! Food!"
"Gray," Natsu said softly, then he scoffed flippantly. "Sheesh! Why do you always want sex?"
Gray had to laugh at that. "Why wouldn't I!" he said, not even thinking about his answer. "You're hot!"
"No, I … I guess I mean … n-nothing. Never mind."
No! The same as before! Gray could see Natsu's face falling into something dark. Oh God, this was not good. He did not even know what was going on, but this was not good!
"Hey," Natsu said in forced cheerfulness. "Can we walk down to the docks?"
Gray felt wary again. "Sure," he said, determined to give in to anything Natsu wanted, anything to keep that darkness away.
"We can eat down there, maybe a sushi place. Yum, sushi sounds good."
"Sushi sounds great to me," he chimed in.
Natsu grinned boisterously at that. "Yeah! And maybe we can pick up some fish. Happy would like that."
"Sure. Fish for Happy." Anything to keep Natsu smiling! Even if this was forced or fake, it was better than that darkness.
They walked along, and rather than holding his hand, Natsu instead grasped possessively onto Gray's arm. Gray normally would never allow this much, they were attracting attention from all around, but he felt cornered. He was fighting an invisible enemy, something trying to take Natsu away from him, and he had no clue at all what to do anymore. He was being swept along in an emotional tsunami. He just hoped to hold on to Natsu and not drown in the storm.
They ate sushi together, and Natsu was animated all through the meal. Gray watched, smiled, laughed, but his heart was still troubled. He felt on edge, just waiting for the next mood swing. He could hardly even enjoy his meal, worried anything might make Natsu's eyes dim and his smile to crumble.
Yet the meal went wonderfully, and they left arm in arm again, Natsu exclaiming how full he was, but already talking about eating there again some day. They walked along the docks, listening to the lapping sea under them and the creaking wooden boards of the pier. Natsu fell silent, and Gray hardly realized something had changed until words came soft and distant.
"Gray, do you … do you think we…?" His question broke off.
Gray jolted and asked a little too sharply, "What? W-we what?" What was wrong between them? What did he need to do to make this better?
Natsu bit his lip and looked aside. "Nothing."
Goddammit, no! "What?" he shouted.
Natsu jolted. "What? Nothing."
Gray sneered and looked aside. Dammit, he was sick of that answer. This was definitely not nothing.
"Gray, what's wrong?"
He felt himself trembling and looked down at his hands. They were shaking in fear. "I don't know," he whispered, and clenched his hand. "I don't know anymore."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
There was no way this was the right time to talk. Natsu was recovering. He was just reacting to the trauma of the past. So Gray gave back the same answer he had been getting all day.
"Nothing. Never mind."
It was like Natsu was drifting away. He kept falling quiet, his words drifting off, his gaze unfocused, and Gray knew he was thinking about whatever happened in that dark past. Dammit, he didn't even care what happened anymore! He just did not want to lose Natsu, and he felt like…
Like this emotional roller coaster was the last plunging drop in the crazy ride of their relationship.
As the night settled in, they came to a few fish stands. Natsu walked on ahead toward a fish booth.
"Hey! Don't walk off too far," Gray shouted to him.
"What?" Natsu asked, scoffing softly. "I'm right here."
"Y-yeah, but—"
"I'm not even that far away," he laughed, and he began to ask the fish seller about prices and types of fish.
Gray watched quietly.
'I feel like you're drifting away from me. You're being stolen by darkness, and I can't even beat it out of you anymore. It's out, it's free, and it's trying to snatch you away. Natsu…'
He needed to retake control!
'I just need to make you mine again. You belong to me. Not the darkness! Not the past! Me!'
Control over his life! Control over Natsu, before he lost everything!
Gray clenched his fist.
'I need to make sure you're mine!'

End of Chapter 48
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Fight Me, Bite Me