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Dangerous Territory	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 4227 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own “Shingeki no Kyojin” and do not make money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 48
- 49
- 50
Chapter 49
Soulmate

Morning dawned across Metz with the clouds clearing and the sun finally shining upon the rain-soaked streets. Eren was already awake, propped up on his elbow, gazing adoringly at Levi as he slept. Once again, Levi did not jolt awake as soon as Eren stirred, nor had he tossed and turned with nightmares. Those pills let him sleep solidly through the night, which gave Eren this moment to bask in simply gazing at him, memorizing every detail, every chapped wrinkle of his lips and the tiny folds of his eyelids. He wished he was an artist, and he could draw this angelic vision, capturing it for all time.
He recalled the first time Levi had shared a bed with him, when he was sick with pneumonia and Levi stayed to nurse him back to health. Out of modesty, he had insisted on sleeping with his head down by Eren’s feet, but that meant his foot smashed up against Eren’s face. In playfulness, Eren had licked his foot. He smiled at the memory now. He had already begun to like Levi, and some of his actions were shockingly brazen. That playful lick had Levi questioning his sexuality.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes the way you act, the things you say, the way you look at me, it’s like you desire me.”
“Is that so? I should watch myself.”
“You really should! Nazis do not tolerate people like that.”
“I would know that better than anyone.”
“You like women, don’t you?”
“What sort of question is that? Of course I do.”
He had been so defensive, scared that someone might figure out the truth. Still, for that one week, they got to sit together all day, talk about mundane things, and really got to know one another. If he had been innocently smitten by Levi’s good looks before, that week of getting nursed back to health truly solidified Eren’s feelings.
And that terrified him enough to actively avoid getting close to Levi for two months.
It felt like such wasted time now.
Then the first night they slept together normally, waking up in the Reeves’ house in Belgium. Eren thought it must be a dream, so he had kissed Levi. It turned out to be reality, and Levi had teased him relentlessly, making him talk about his dreams. He had said he dreamed of them in bed and kissing a lot. That had been only half the truth. His dreams were much naughtier than that.
Last night came close to those sensual dreams: Levi suddenly pouncing on top of him, their bodies grinding together, months of bottled passion finally unleashed. If he had not stopped things…
Part of him regretted not allowing Levi to do whatever he desired. When would he get a chance like that again? Part of him felt good about himself. Levi definitely was not ready for more than that, and he might wake up regretting it all.
Still, Eren wished they could have at least one night to fulfill every fantasy he ever dreamed. Just one night when he could pleasure Levi fully and completely. There was still so much he wished he could do, so many places he wished he could touch and kiss.
He knew if he kept thinking like that, he would get erect, so he rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. After a quick cleanup, he looked in the mirror. He tried to smile. He wanted Levi to see him looking happy. It was a mask he put up for his platoon all the time, but it was harder to keep up that charade with Levi.
He never wanted to show how terrified he was about this war and his chances of making it out alive. Not just that he might get shot or blown to bloody pieces with a bomb, but merely surviving as a homosexual man in Nazi Germany. His fear that someone might figure out the truth was as potent as ever.
When he finally stepped out, Levi was sitting up in bed, slowly tugging his shirt back on. He did not turn around to look at Eren. That made the forced smile on Eren’s face waver.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
Levi nodded, still facing the other way, sitting perfectly still, lost in thought.
“Are you okay?”
Levi jolted, as if yanked out of a memory. “Yeah, fine,” he said brusquely. “About last night, did I … did we…” He closed his eyes, trying to wake up a little more. “After you rubbed on the cream,” he whispered, and Levi cringed, “what exactly did we do?”
Eren smirked. “Did you forget?”
Levi began to turn pale. “If I did … it was a big mistake.”
Eren felt like a cold knife suddenly plunged into his heart. “I thought you said you wanted it.”
“I was drugged,” he muttered.
Grief struck Eren. The last thing he wanted was to push Levi too far, to make him uncomfortable or to think this was all some sick craving for pleasure. “I know you were drugged. Still…” Eren blushed at the memories. “…you were quite insistent.”
“Oh fuck.” Levi clenched at his scalp. “It was real, wasn’t it? Fuck! Please forgive me. I was drugged. I would never do that!”
His eyes widened in shock. “Wait, are we talking about the same thing?”
Levi looked up in panicked confusion. “Just how much did I do?”
“Did you do? Aren’t you mad at me, what I did?” His cheeks burned red up to his ears. “Touching you like that.”
“Touching?”
Eren’s mouth dropped. Had Levi forgotten his actions?
Levi could not meet Eren’s eyes without intense guilt. “All of my memories are fuzzy. I don’t recall anything at all after getting into bed, except for … God, please tell me I didn’t do anything inappropriate to you.”
“My definition of inappropriate might be different from yours.”
Levi’s teeth gritted in silent rage. “Did I … hurt you?”
“Hurt me?” Eren cried out. That was not what he had expected.
“Did I restrain you?”
“Oh, that.” He blushed as he remembered Levi pinning his wrists down.
Levi doubled over, ripping at his hair. “Putain, c’était pas un rêve!” Fuck, it wasn’t a dream! “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry.”
“Levi!”
“The last thing I remember is holding you down, you were trying to push me away, saying ‘This isn’t right.’ You didn’t want it.” His whole face drew up in self-loathing. “I really fucked up.”
Eren’s eyes drifted to the side in shame and regret. “I knew that if I let you, you would hate me when you woke up.” He should not have touched Levi at all.
Levi turned around and saw the saddened slump. “I don’t hate you. I’m worried that you hate me. I … I was … forceful. I restrained you.”
“I could have broken free if I wanted.”
Levi cringed with anguish in his face. “Did I hurt you?”
Eren chuckled and caressed his cheek. “Not at all.”
Tension sank out of his shoulders. “I was worried, if I did that while drugged, I could have seriously hurt you.”
“Do you … Do you do that often? Do you like restraining—”
“No!” Levi scowled and softly added, “Not normally.”
“What do you mean?”
Levi folded his arms across his chest in a surly gesture. Eren thought that maybe he would shut down and refuse to talk about it, but the explanation came in quiet grumbling.
“There was one lady on a mission to Spain, the mistress of some politician. She wanted … risqué fun. She had silk scarves to tie up her wrists, and she asked me to paddle her arse.” He softly admitted, “Probably one of the best nights of fucking in my life. Petra never would have gone for that.” He cleared his throat and straightened up. “So long as you’re safe, ignore it. It was just a weird dream.”
“You … dream of tying me up?”
“No! I meant … I feared … but if you’re not hurt and you’re not mad at me, then forget about it,” he blurted out.
Eren felt a strange tingle down below. Levi not only dreamed about him, but his dreams must be intensely erotic. It made Eren want to giggle. As cold as he tried to be, Levi had a lot of fire bottled up.
Levi’s face cringed in loathing. “I still can’t believe I did that to you.”
Eren reached over, held Levi’s hand, and rubbed his thumb across the rough knuckles. “What if I said, I kind of liked it.”
Levi’s mouth dropped.
“Not in a weird way, but knowing you want me that much, enough to hold me down like that … it really makes me happy.”
Levi looked like he had been struck, stunned, not sure what to make of that confession. “That’s … well, I’m glad you’re not mad at me, but … it was the drugs making me weird.”
Eren gave Levi’s hand a squeeze. “If I may say—and I could be wrong—but I do not think it was only the pills.”
Levi held back a chuckle. He knew Eren was right. His mind had drifted into fantasies, weird ideas, cravings he had never experienced before in his life, and the pills last night only relaxed the barriers he had put up out of fear.
“So don’t worry,” Eren assured. “It was … what is the word…?” He searched around in his memory and smiled as one word popped into his mind. “Thrilling!”
Levi’s face turned red and he began to mutter curses in Yiddish. Eren smiled in gentle happiness.
“I’m only sad that you forgot everything else.”
“I panicked as soon as I remembered that part. I remember a bit afterward, but it’s all fuzzy right now.”
Eren wrapped his arms around Levi and whispered sensually, “Then maybe we need to reenact it, so you can remember.”
“You just want to be held down again, masochist.”
Eren smirked and admitted, “Maybe.”
For a moment, Levi looked tempted. Then he cursed and stood up, yanking away from the tantalizing offer.
Eren called out in a tease, “Or maybe you want to be the one held down.”
Levi spun around, and the humiliated fluster was gone. His eyes burned with a deep rage as he growled softly, “Try, and I will slit your fucking throat!”
Eren was jarred out of his playfulness, and belatedly realized how utterly inappropriate his words were. “No! I didn’t mean—”
Levi stormed off and slammed the bathroom door behind him.
Eren slumped and stared forward. Saying something like that, after the horror Levi went through!
He slapped himself across the face. “Dummkopf.”
He went to the phone and dialed up room service. Since the other officers now believed Louise was with him, he could order two meals and nobody would think it was weird. He hoped that maybe he could appease Levi with a nice meal.
* * *
In the bathroom, Levi leaned over the sink, his stomach convulsing, but he held back the sounds and made sure not to actually vomit. He looked down at his hands. They were shaking hard from a crash of memories that had struck him all at once.
His wrists bound, hands grabbing his hips, burning pain that thrust into him again and again, with sadistic words he did not understand and blinding hits to his head every time he tried to fight back.
“Va-t’en. Pitié, va-t’en et fous-moi la paix.” Go away! Please, go away and leave me alone.
He sank to the floor and leaned his back up against the door. His head turned up, partly to say a prayer, partly to help hold his stomach down.
He muttered softly, “Jamais il me fera du mal. Il est honnête, doux et affectueux. Il n’aurait jamais blessé quelqu’un, pas volontairement.” He will never hurt me. He is honest, gentle, and affectionate. He would never hurt anyone, not voluntarily.
Slowly, the sickly shivers went away. That nightmare was in the past. Not that Levi had even the slightest desire to be tied up—and he knew Eren had only been joking around—but Eren would not harm him even if he really wanted to do something like that.
He trusted Eren with his life.
So why did those nightmares still haunt him so strongly?
“J’aimerais pouvoir tout oublier.” I wish I could forget everything.
Slowly, as his heart calmed and his brain cleared from the fog of past horrors, he realized he had threatened Eren, leaving him shouting apologies in a panic. The poor kid didn’t deserve that! He was just joking around, and Levi had threatened to slit his throat.
There was a knock on the door, and for a moment a million nightmares flooded back. Levi reached for a knife that was not at his side, and realizing he was weaponless, his whole body tensed to fight. Then he heard Eren unlock the door and the squeaking wheel of a cart being rolled into the room.
Breakfast already? How long had he been sitting on the floor like this?
Levi used the toilet, washed up, and stepped out. Eren had already dressed in his uniform, and Levi could see right away on his face, he had bottled up his pain and shoved it down, just like he too-often did with orders that went against his morals.
No nineteen-year-old should be forced to do that!
Remembering what Eren did after thinking he had offended Levi, he walked over to where Eren was sitting by the table, knelt at his feet, and laid his head on Eren’s lap. He heard a gasp of shock above him.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have threatened you. I … I like you,” he awkwardly confessed. “I would never harm you. The last thing in the world I want is for you to be hurt because of me.”
Eren’s shoulders loosened, and he laid his hand on Levi’s hair. “I said something I shouldn’t have.”
“You were just teasing me. I reacted badly. I trust you with my life.”
Hearing that made Eren smile with joy. “I forgive you.” Then he chuckled. “Besides, how many times have you threatened to slit my throat or stab me in the leg? It’s the way you are.” He took Levi’s chin and lifted his head. “I love all of you, even the part that teases you’ll stab me.”
“I would never!”
Eren had a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “I might want you to, but not with a knife.”
Levi wondered what he meant. Stabbing, but not with a knife? When Eren chuckled at his confused face, Levi got annoyed. What did he mean by—
Oh!
“Narish takhshet!” Stupid brat! He gave Eren a shove as he rose to his feet.
“You just now get it?”
“You’re a pervert, that’s what I get!”
Eren laughed as he watched how red Levi’s cheeks got. “Sorry if I made you embarrassed.”
Levi scowled and flopped in his seat at the table. “Eat! A little boy like you needs food in his stomach.”
“Yes, yes,” he chuckled. “Make us tea again. I liked that.”
Levi still glared at him. A dirty joke like that! How dare he!
They sat down to a quiet breakfast of eggs and toast with jam. Levi pacified himself by making tea, while Eren read a newspaper as he nibbled on food.
“Anything interesting?” asked Levi.
Eren grumbled, “Finland and the Soviet Union signed an armistice two days ago.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Finland is basically fighting their own war, but Germany was helping them against the Soviets, so it frees up Nazi troops who don’t have to assist anymore, but it also means the Soviets can focus more on German territory and not divert troops to Finland. Finland may stay neutral, or they may turn against us. Time will tell.”
“So, it’s good news for the Allies.”
Eren glared from over the edge of the newspaper. Levi merely shrugged and sipped his tea.
Eren folded up the newspaper and set his teacup down. “I didn’t get to tell you this before, but I talked to Armin about routes for after you escape.”
“Do you have time to show me?”
Eren nodded and went to a briefcase with maps inside. He unfolded a map of the Metz area. Levi sipped tea while Eren pointed to the dark meandering line of the river.
“Armin said you can’t follow the Moselle. There’s fighting along the shore all the way north to Diedenhofen.”
“Diedenhofen?”
“Here,” Eren said, pointing to a city on the map.
“Do you mean Thionville?”
“It was called Diedenhofen before France stole it.”
“Stole it? What the hell are you talking about?”
“After the last war.”
“War reparations are not theft, and it was a French city before the Germans … you know what, forget it,” he sighed, not wanting to bring up national issues from 1870, not when there were enough issues in 1944. “Isn’t that city currently under German rule?”
“Not anymore. The Allies took over it—”
“You mean liberated it,” Levi grumbled.
Eren let that issue go, not wanting to argue. “—about a week ago. Armin recommends avoiding the river from Diedenhofen south to Nanzig, since Germany could make a surge back into those areas at any moment.”
“Nanzig? Do you mean Nancy? Is it also under Allied control?”
“Yes, as of a few days ago.”
Levi looked at the map, and the soldier in him read the movement of troops. “Merde! Un mouvement en tenaille.”
“I’ve heard that term before,” Eren muttered. Wasn’t it Yelena who mentioned it?
“They’re surrounding you.”
“Ja. Ein Flankenmanöver.”
“Is Metz the last city in France under German control?”
“Nein. There are a few others. Gravelotte and Roseringen to the west.
“I know Gravelotte, but do you mean Rozérieulles?”
“Maybe. The Allies are already at the Westwall up in Hürtgenwald, but down here, their goal is the main highway to Saarbrücken. Metz stands in their way. The Westwall is unbreachable, but it has spent four years out of use. Weapons have changed: Sherman tanks, panzerbrechende Munition, air strikes are a bigger threat than during the Great War. We must buy them time to fortify the Westwall, and Metz is the only city that stands a chance.”
“Eren.” Levi laid a hand on his arm. “I didn’t want to say anything before, but … I’ve seen the maps. The situation is probably worse than you realize. I don’t just mean Metz. Yelena was also keeping track of what the Soviets are doing.” He squeezed Eren’s arm. “Take it from a former captain. Germany has already lost.”
“Nein!” he shouted stubbornly.
Levi sighed and shook his head. “Germany will always be at a disadvantage in Europe for one big reason: you’re in the middle of it all. The Allies surround you, Italy is falling apart, Japan is half a world away. No one is coming to Germany’s aid, whereas the Allies grow stronger. The Soviets, now America. Two huge countries, massive populations, and how many Germans are left to fight? You’ve spent years murdering millions of your own people just because of their religion. Now you’re outnumbered.”
“We will fight to the last man!”
“You’ll have to. You’re already recruiting children. Next thing you know, you’ll be dressing Jews in uniforms and hoping they don’t turn right around and shoot you.”
Eren scowled and looked away.
“Americans are stupid, but don’t underestimate them. If it was just the British, they might have kept to their island and sought an armistice, but with the blind audacity of America supporting them, anyone would become suddenly bold. After all, America has more people in it than France, England, and Germany combined. They have the manpower to fight Japan and Europe at the same time, and they don’t have to worry about invasion, because Canada is an ally, Mexico would never dare, and any invaders would have to get across an entire ocean.”
“We will stop them,” Eren snapped.
“How? With what army? Two hundred million of them, and how many Germans are left?” Levi shook his head. “An army’s best bet for defeating America is to wear them out or make them bored so they won’t want to play soldier-boy anymore. They just started, so they’re not going to get bored, and they have a lot of energy, like a toddler on candy, so it would take years to wear them out. If America can free nearly all of France in a month, imagine how quickly they’ll be knocking on Hitler’s door.”
“No!”
“Then there’s the Soviets,” Levi went on. “Germany fucked up when they attacked Russia. France did the same thing during Napoleon’s time. The folly of every European nation is pissing off Russia. Let the Bear sleep through winter, or all that results is death. But Hitler attacked, and now Russia is going to surge all the way to Berlin if they can. And trust me, they can.”
“They are weak!”
“Less modernized, yes, but weak?” Levi shook his head. “Oh no! Russians are some of the strongest people I know, and they only grow more vengeful with age. They will keep pushing and pushing and pushing, long after the Americans lose interest and cry that they want to go back home to their mommies. Be it months, years, decades, Russia won’t stop until they have Hitler’s head. Either way, whether if it’s wild cowboys or bloodthirsty Soviets, Germany is in a vice, and their nuts are going to get crushed.”
Levi saw that Eren rejected his observation. Damn stubborn German! Then again, no one in France wanted to believe it when Germany defeated them so suddenly. It was honestly disheartening to think that France could be captured so easily, and then freed just as easily. What a horrible land to defend!
Levi forced the conversation back on track. “Forget that. You said Armin recommended avoiding Thionville, but I don’t see why. If anything, Metz being surrounded works in my favor. Just don’t head east, and I’ll probably find Allies.”
“But to the north and south is where all the fighting is. You’re far more likely to get shot.”
“To the east are more Germans,” Levi said coldly.
“Yes, but more Frenchmen, more farmers, and people who fled the city.”
“They are still under German control. How do I know whom to trust? How many so-called Français celebrated when the Nazis came and eagerly handed over every Jew they could?” He grumbled, “How many like my beaux-parents?”
“Like your what?”
“My wife’s family.”
“Oh,” Eren muttered, remembering that Levi told him about how Petra’s parents had turned him in because they hated that he was a Jew. It was no surprise that he was so skeptical of his fellow Frenchmen. “Well, you can’t run into a war zone. We’re trying to get you out of here as safely as we can, not get you shot. Once you’re out of the city and away from all the armies, I figured the safest route is east, away from the fighting, and then head north.”
“Luxembourg City,” Levi muttered. “The priest I met before said the trains were still running, but Antwerp was bombed. I don’t know the condition of Calais.”
“I think Calais is still under German control.”
“Dammit,” Levi grumbled.
“The faster you can leave, the better. Just hurry and get out of the entire Elsaß-Lothringen region. Hitler is planning something, no one knows what yet, but he’s been giving strange orders.”
“Maybe he’s finally gone insane,” Levi grumbled.
Eren shot him a glare. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be swift and brutal. If they’re going to retake Lothringen, they’ll probably aim for the Ardennes, which means they’ll attack Belgium and Luxembourg. The sooner you get out of the entire region, the better.”
Levi glared at the map. “Even if I reach the coast…” His jaw tightened. There was no guarantee that he could get on a boat, and no promises that he would be allowed to immigrate to America. Still, any location was better than a war zone.
Eren sighed out his flustered emotions, and his hand slipped over, gripping Levi’s wrist instinctively. He wanted Levi to be safe, but he knew that once he was out of Metz, he would probably never see the small man again.
Oh, how he would love to run away with Levi and live somewhere in peace! Yet there was still a war, and Germany needed strong soldiers. Even though he had grown to resent the opinions of the Nazi Party, he was still a proud German, and the Fatherland was under threat.
If Levi left, Eren knew he would stay and fight. He would probably die in this city, all so Germany could finish repairing the Westwall to make a final stand.
Levi whispered, “If I could take you with me…”
Eren smiled wistfully. “You know I can’t go. Besides, you work better alone.”
Levi knew that was right. Still, the months they had spent getting to know one another weighed heavily on his heart now. As much as he knew that he had to get out of there before Eren was caught harboring a Jew, the thought of leaving now agonized him.
Eren let out a heavy sigh. “I hate to go now, but I need to meet with my platoon.”
“You barely ate. You didn’t even touch your toast.”
“You can have the rest.”
“Don’t refuse to eat because of me!”
Eren chuckled. “Really, I’m not that hungry. Your tea is quite good, though. I wish I could take more with me.”
“Tea doesn’t taste as good if you let it sit for too long. I can make more tonight.”
“I’d like that. Take another one of those pills now and relax, that way you aren’t wild all night and attack me in my sleep.”
“Shut up, takhshet,” he grumbled in humiliation.
Eren laughed and patted Levi’s shoulder again. “I forgive you for attacking me.”
“It wasn’t an attack!”
“You leaped on me, forced me down, and shouted at me not to stop you.”
“Why you… It was the drugs!”
Eren kissed him on the forehead, finding his outrage adorable. “Rest and heal quickly.”
Levi looked down at his swollen ankle. “I want to hide in the attic. If I’m going to be drugged, I’d rather sleep without fear of someone walking through the door.”
“I lock it every time.”
“The hotel staff have keys.”
Eren frowned. He had hoped that Levi could rest where it was warm with a soft bed, but it made sense to rest where it was safer. “Then I’ll help you get up there.”
He opened the attic hatch. Seeing that Levi struggled on the ladder, Eren grabbed him by the waist and lifted him straight up. Then he handed Levi his pack with the Tanakh, The Count of Monte Cristo, a flask of water, the pills, and he scraped all the breakfast leftovers onto a single plate which he handed up to Levi. Hopefully no staff showed up to take the cart, or they would wonder what happened to the second plate and silverware.
They both paused, gazing at each other, Levi up in the dark attic, Eren down in the sun-drenched bedroom.
“Get some rest,” Eren whispered.
Levi nodded. “Be safe out there.”
“May I kiss you goodbye?”
A gentle smile tugged at his lips. “Of course you may.”
Eren tiptoed up until their lips met. “I’ll see you tonight.”
It was such a domestic thing to say, like a husband leaving for work and kissing his wife goodbye.
Eren stepped back down off the chair, and Levi slowly closed the hatch, not wanting to shut away the view of Eren’s enamored smile. When finally the latch clicked, he let out a sigh.
“What is wrong with me?” he whispered.
He glanced around the attic. Being in Eren’s room was nice and comfortable, but he felt safer up here. Plus it was spacious, almost like he had a whole house to himself.
The antique round table was still under the tiny window, both it and a richly carved chair covered with a white cloth. He pulled the dust cloths off, but something gummy was on the fabric. He threw the cloth in disgust and looked down at his hand. Whatever it was, it had dried out. He slowly picked the cloth back up, found the ruined spot, and wondered what happened there. Had he spilled anything while climbing through the window? Was there a leak in the attic? Was it the droppings of some animal? He sniffed it and drew back.
“Semen?”
Had someone been up here while he was gone? For a few seconds, Levi panicked. He ran over to the wall of boxes, but no one was behind it. He searched around, but there was no other sign of someone having been up there.
Was this from Eren? Why would he have masturbated in the attic?
Was it out of loneliness? Had he come up here to think about him?
That was both sad and a little erotic.
Levi placed his wrapped food on the table and hid his pack behind the wall of boxes. Then he walked to the crate where he had folded away the blankets and pillow he had slept on early on. He noticed right away, the blanket on top was folded terribly. The corner of his mouth tweaked up. Definitely Eren! He must have come up there, wrapped himself in the blanket, and used the hem of the dust cloth to clean up his mess as he jerked off.
Levi pulled out the bedding and set it up in the small hiding space behind the boxes. Satisfied, he went to the table to nibble a little more toast and opened his book. The story was starting to get good.
* * *
The rain had finally cleared, and Eren ran his troops harder, taking advantage of the weather. He watched them marching, marching, marching…
“Sir? Sir? Sir!”
Eren jolted and looked over at Moblit.
“I think the men have done enough.”
The soldiers were sweaty and exhausted as they ran figure-eights between two flagpoles. Eren realized that his mind had drifted off to worries about Levi.
“Okay, line formation!”
A few of the men collapsed on the spot, while others dragged their feet over to stand in front of Eren. He saw that the men who had been with him in Anzio were sweaty and tired, but they had experienced worse, while the newer recruits were struggling.
“Nack, Floch, get your asses up! Connie, go drag them here.”
“I can walk, I can walk,” Floch insisted, wobbling as he made it to the line-up. Meanwhile, Connie and to hoist Nack onto his shoulder.
As soon as Eren saw the whole platoon was formed up, he shouted out, “Once in a while, we need to push ourselves to know we can, to know where our limits lie.” His mind drifted to last night, Levi saying Nothing to make either of us moan, but he forced those thoughts away swiftly. “As Hitler said, ‘The human spirit cannot climb upwards without taking successive steps.’ To push higher, one must train harder.” He looked straight at Floch with a smile. “When you’ve recovered, you will feel stronger, for we are Aryans, and we do not fear a little weariness.”
“Yes, sir!” Floch shouted, already straightening his shoulders.
He let them have a break to get a drink and collapse on the grass. Armin came up with some water for Eren.
“You should drink too. Your throat sounds hoarse.”
Eren accepted the water. “I guess I shouldn’t have gone out last night.”
“Did you go out with the other officers?” asked Armin.
Eren smiled to himself and shook his head. “I took Louise for a ride in a carriage.”
Armin’s face sank into a frown. “Louise? I thought she left.”
Eren stared hard at Armin, silently telling him not to question this too much.
Moblit chuckled softly. “No wonder you’re looking so much better today, Lieutenant.”
Eren looked over curiously. “Better?”
“To be frank, you were looking forlorn just before getting married. I was worried when I heard that you sent your bride away the day after your wedding, like maybe this was something you were doing out of honor and not love. Yet your demeanor is much improved now that she is with you again. The light is back in your eyes.”
Eren knew what had changed. His and Levi’s relationship was even closer now. Especially those kisses last night.
“She must really be something, marrying her after only a few days and being that worried sick about her.”
Eren laughed, realizing that if he really had married a girl after knowing her for less than a week, he probably deserved to be categorized as insane. “What can I say? When it’s love at first sight, nothing else matters.” His cheeks began to warm up. “It feels like I’ve known my darling for an eternity, like God created our souls from the same material and we were destined to find each other again here on Earth.”
Moblit hummed and nodded. “There’s a story from Ancient Greece. Plato, I think. Humans were originally created with two faces, two hearts, four arms, and four legs. They rose up against the gods, so Zeus split them in two. They would spend their lives searching for their other half. You never know where you might find the other, but as soon as you two meet, you’ll know, like two magnets being drawn together. You might be different ages, maybe even the same gender.”
Eren looked over sharply. “Same gender? Do you mean homosexuals?”
Moblit flinched and shrugged awkwardly. “At least according to the myth, there were three types of ancient people: male-male, female-female, and male-female.” He cleared his throat, hoping to move past that without getting into trouble. “It’s not necessarily a sexual thing. It’s having the same mind, the same heart, and the same soul. Once the two halves were reunited, they could no longer stand being apart, so the god of Love promised the humans, if they lived righteously, he would merge them together in the afterlife, so they would once again be whole.” A light shone in his eyes. “It’s the deepest relationship you’ll ever know.”
“It sounds like you speak from experience.”
Moblit nodded with a rare, tiny smile. “She’s an older woman, married, a family, utterly miserable with her husband, mildly hates her children, but too polite to admit it. It’s like she knew her whole life that she was with the wrong partner, but she didn’t know what else to do. Everyone said she had to marry before she was too old. We met eight years ago. I was sixteen, barely of legal age.” His eyes gleamed again. “It wasn’t a physical attraction. Hardly! I would normally never dare touch another man’s wife, let alone a woman old enough to be my aunt.”
“How much older is she?”
“Fifteen years my senior.”
Eren merely nodded. A little older than the age gap between himself and Levi.
“When we met, I didn’t even need to know her name. It was like I had known her since the beginning of time. I know precisely what she’s thinking. We even dream some of the same dreams. I held back out of respect, but when I signed up for the military, we finally made love. She got pregnant, and her son—he’s four now—he looks like me. Yet even then, it wasn’t making love for the sake of lust. It’s like … like your bodies want to merge, to be whole again,” he said with a longing anguish in his voice. “You need to touch them, there’s no other choice. Resisting is painful, like struggling not to touch your own face.”
Eren chuckled, thinking about all the touches last night. It really was agonizing to resist.
“Knowing just how deep of a relationship you two could have … it’s scary. You see yourself reflected in them, the good and the bad, what you are proud about yourself, and what shames you the most about yourself. There were moments when she hated me, because she saw her younger self in me.”
Eren thought back to what Levi once said to him.
“Why? Why do you care?”
“Maybe because I see a lot of myself in you, and I don’t want you to turn out how I did.”
“Being with her,” Moblit confessed softly, “I felt so disgusting.”
That word caught Eren’s attention. “Disgusting?” He had used that same word before, being told all his life that homosexuality was disgusting and unnatural.
“She’s a married woman, and I was practically a child. Being together is so intense, it scares you, yet that person is the only one who you can act fully natural around. Everyone else sees a mask, but that person sees your soul!”
Eren smiled to himself. Yes, he wore a mask around everyone, but with Levi, he was fully himself.
Moblit let out a soft, wistful sigh. “Finally surrendering, trusting that God—or the universe, or whatever—something out there knows what it’s doing … it feels liberating. Surrendering to destiny, accepting that you are meant for one another. Call it soulmate, call it Twin Flame, call it a spiritual affinity, whatever it is, it’s real! If the ancients are right and there really is reincarnation, I want to find her again.” He laughed and muttered, “Maybe next time, I can marry her. And if Heaven exists, then I think I’ll be an angel with one wing until she joins me, my other half through eternity.”
“That’s a beautiful sentiment,” whispered Eren.
“So, don’t let the men bother you. Of course they’ll tease you, but you and Louise are meant for one another.”
Eren flinched slightly. If only he could tell everyone who his real soulmate was.
Armin saw the flinch and tugged on Eren’s arm. “Take a rest in the shade.” They moved away, and Armin glanced around to make sure none of the other soldiers were nearby. Finally, he whispered, “Is Levi disguising himself as Louise? How?”
“Dressing as a woman.”
Armin pouted deeply. “I’ve seen him as a woman. He doesn’t look anything like Louise.”
“We have a wig that matches her hair, and makeup to shape his face to be closer. We managed to fool a few officers.”
Armin sighed in exasperation. “Do you realize how dangerous that is?”
“How many people actually saw Louise up close?”
“Probably too many. If you wait a couple of weeks, maybe they’ll forget the details, but so soon after the entire platoon went to your wedding?” He shook his head. “What’s your end goal?”
“We get Louise’s papers up here, Levi uses them, I escort him out of the city, and he’s free to go anywhere.”
“What happens to Louise if you’re caught? You’re dragging her into this as well.”
“If she doesn’t want to help, she doesn’t have to. No one is forcing her.”
“How do you plan to get her papers? Another drive? When? They’re fighting to the north and south. What if her family’s farm lies within enemy territory now?”
Eren hesitated and first glanced all around. “We have … friends … helping him.”
“Friends? French Resistance?” Armin breathed. “How many?”
“I’ve only spoken to one.”
“The same person who was with Levi the last time I saw him? Tall, blond, fake beard, sounds like a woman.”
Eren nodded while keeping an eye out around them.
“Who is that person?”
“It’s probably best that you don’t know.”
“I need to know,” Armin insisted. “If you want my help in this, I need to know what we have to work with. Is this person working alone, or part of a group?”
“A group. I don’t know how large. I’ve only met her.”
“Who is she? Some courier, like Annie was? Or a spy, like Krista?”
Eren slowly shook his head. “She’s the leader of a French Resistance cell here in Metz.”
“Their leader?” he almost shouted, but he managed to keep his voice quiet. “Dammit, Eren! Krista was one thing, but this!”
“She’s willing to help. Apparently, some old friend of Levi’s is also a friend of hers.”
“They are not your friends, though. They are the enemy.”
“I know that! Still, they can help him. You worked with them before.”
“I only wanted them to rescue the Jews.”
“How is this any different?”
Armin scowled. “I was working with one woman to help a group of Jews. You’re working with an entire group to help one man.”
“Do you think quantity matters to the Gestapo? Would it not be even worse to free a dozen Jews, rather than just one? Besides, you know Krista was not working alone; you met some of the others! Whereas I’ve only met this one woman, and only because she was worried about Levi. It’s he who is working with the Resistance, not me.”
Armin shook his head with heavy regret, but he could not refute that logic. It was still treason, whether if it was one Resistance spy or an entire Resistance cell. “Just be careful, please.”
Eren nodded, staring out at his men. He was loyal to those soldiers, but to save Levi, he would work with the enemy.
A few seconds later, Thomas jogged up to Eren. “Why don’t you mention the big news? We heard from Floch, Herr Oberleutnant is going to be a father!”
“Is that true?” others whispered, and they hurried to gather around Eren and listen for some news.
Eren held back a groan. He hated lying to these men. They were his comrades. Beside him, he faintly heard Armin sighing with pity. He must have figured out that the rumors were there to solidify the act of getting married in a hurry.
“Eren, a father?” Nack exclaimed. “Next thing you know, pigs will fly.”
Franz cried out, “They already do, in American planes!”
The whole platoon laughed riotously.
“All right, all right,” Eren called out, taming them down. “If we’re all together in nine months, I’ll get to tell you if it’s a boy or girl.”
“A boy! Another soldier for Hitler!” the men cried out.
Hearing that made Eren’s heart sink. In sixteen years, would they still be raising their sons to fight for the Nazi Party? That thought used to fill him with nationalistic pride. Now, it gave him shivers.
“Enough! The weather is finally clear, so because I’m nice, I’ll give you tomorrow and the entire weekend off.”
They all cheered.
“I better see at least some of you in church on Sunday.”
Connie shouted out, “Yeah, praying for forgiveness for Saturday.” The others laughed and agreed.
“Eren!” Franz called out. “A game of Quartett? I have a brand new deck of cards.”
“Make it Böse Dame and you can deal me in.”
“No way! You always win at Böse Dame.”
Eren had to chuckle. He missed simply spending his days with these men, playing card games, drinking, and singing songs of home. “Fine, fine! Quartett. We’ll see if you’ve gotten any better at the game. First, drinks!”
“Beer!” the platoon shouted, and Eren joined them to celebrate at a nearby pub.
* * *
It was late in the afternoon when Eren came back to his room, and he had to admit, his head was a little tipsy. Glancing around, all was empty and silent. He took a peek around, but he did not see Levi hiding in the bathroom, wardrobe, or under the bed. He stood up on the chair and scratched at the hatch.
“Levi,” he called up quietly. He waited, but there was no reply. He scratched again and called for him, but nothing.
What if he was asleep? He should let him rest.
But then a terrifying thought popped into his head. What if he left again?
Eren slowly opened the attic. “Levi?” he whispered.
He pushed the hatch all the way up and pulled himself through the opening. Despite the clear skies outside, the attic was full of shadows. He glanced around and sighed in relief when he saw a book sitting on the table along with empty plates.
Eren tiptoed over to the wall of boxes and peeked around. Levi had curled up into a tiny ball, sleeping soundly with his mouth hanging slightly open. Eren’s chest surged at how adorable he was, but also how vulnerable. Someone could have come up to this attic, and Levi might have slept right through it.
Eren took a seat, continuing to watch over Levi as he slept. He picked up the Tanakh. Had Levi been reading the holy text earlier? He opened the book and looked at the symbols. All those months when he had held onto this book for Levi, he never bothered to really look at it. He took it out maybe once, purely out of curiosity, but since it was written in a language he could not even read, he lost interest. Besides, if anyone caught him with it, he would have a hard time explaining why he would keep such a book.
Now he wondered, how did this Jewish Bible sound? These were the same words Jesus would have read, the same language he would have spoken, the same way he would have written. This was the language of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob!
And Nazis said these people were less than animals.
He turned to the first page. There, he saw a list of names, previous owners of this book going back a few generations of Ackermans. He saw at the very bottom Levi Ackerman, and in another handwriting next to it, Petra Ackerman. Above them, the name Kuchel Ackerman. Was that Levi’s mother? No other name was next to it, so presumably that was due to her never marrying, nor even knowing who Levi’s father was. Above that was Joachim and Ruth Ackerman, above that was Izaak and Shayna Ackerman, and above that Feivel and Malka Ackerman.
Five generations! No wonder Levi cherished this book so much.
He heard a deep breath from Levi and a slight stir. Eren closed the book and set it down. He watched as Levi stretched out. When his eyes cracked open, they landed on Eren, silhouetted against the bright sun. Levi saw only the outline of the uniform and officer’s cap, gave a gasp, and in a flash, his knife was out.
“It’s me,” Eren said right away.
Levi sank. He blinked out his eyes until they focused past the Nazi uniform and saw the young man wearing it. “Merde! When did you get up here?”
“A few minutes ago. I tried to knock.”
Levi rubbed his face but still looked drowsy. “That pill really knocked me out. What time is it?”
“Almost sunset.”
“Shit,” Levi whispered. “I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.”
Eren walked over to the wall of boxes and slipped behind them. He got down on his hands and knees and crawled over the bedding.
“What the hell are you doing?” Levi cried out softly.
“Sitting with you.” He stretched his legs out. “Lie your head on my lap.”
“I will do no such thing!”
“Just for a moment. I want to pet your head.”
“I am not a dog!”
“Didn’t you ever pet your wife’s head while she rested on your lap?”
Levi scowled and looked away. “That was different.”
“Then let me be different. Just a little, please.”
Levi rolled his eyes, but he had to admit, he was still drowsy and not ready to get up. He laid his head back down onto Eren’s legs, figuring he would indulge him for a couple of minutes. Eren’s fingers caressed his forehead, and the tension on his brow instantly melted.
Eren softly stroked over the forehead with creases from the permanent pinch, now softened. Levi stared up at the ceiling, but slowly his eyes began to grow heavy. Eren smiled, letting his fingers caress from eyebrows up into the black strands of hair.
“Do you think we’re Seelenverwandte?”
Levi opened his eyes and gazed up into that soft face. “What does that mean?”
“Um, spirit … related? What is that other English word? Soul … similar?”
“Soulmate? What are you talking about?”
“Something Moblit said. Seelenverwandte … Soulmates can’t stop touching one another, and it’s like you’ve known each other forever. I feel that way with you.”
Levi felt his cheeks heat up. “You’re talking nonsense,” he grumbled. “How could two men be soulmates?”
“But you see, Antike Griechen … um, I don’t know the English word. Plato, Aristotle, Socrates.”
“Ancient Greeks?”
“Ja! Plato said, originally there were three types of humans: one made of two men, one made of two women, and one made of a man and a woman. Humans fought the gods, so Zeus ripped them in half. Being homosexual is just searching for the other half of your soul that happens to be male. You seek each other through many lifetimes, and when you meet your other half, you know right away that it’s them.”
“Eren, we knew nothing right away. I tried to kill you when we first met!”
“You didn’t know it was me, and I didn’t know it was you. But now… I can finally connect to someone, and it feels like this is what God intended for me all along. I just had to search and find you.” His voice dropped to a sad whisper. “The mere thought of being separated from you makes me feel like my heart in ripping in half. Like a part of my soul was always missing, and now that I am whole again, being torn from you would be unimaginably painful.” He stroked along Levi’s forehead and laughed softly. “It’s silly, I know. Ancient gods, monstrous creatures, souls and reincarnation. Still, it was a nice story.”
Levi let Eren’s caresses relax him. Soulmates, huh? Two years ago, he would have thought Petra was his soulmate. He had loved her deeply and wanted to care for her until they were old and gray.
“Can a person have more than one soulmate in a lifetime?” he whispered.
Eren was confused, but then he realized what Levi must be thinking about. “Perhaps really strong souls get torn into more than two pieces, and so you don’t get just one soulmate. You get many.” He smiled as he gazed down at Levi. “I already know, your soul is strong. You’ve survived so much. Perhaps the Greek gods thought you were too powerful and ripped your soul into many pieces.”
“I don’t believe in Greek gods.”
“Angels, then?”
Levi hummed. “Maybe while the angels were battering around my soul in Sheol, they broke it into pieces, and then when they didn’t know what to do with me, they reincarnated all three, two into men, one into a woman.” He scoffed and shook his head. “Why are we even talking about such a stupid thing? There’s no such thing as soulmates. Love is just an instinct to fuck.”
“I think it’s more than that. Scientifically speaking, why would I fall in love with you, of all people? Human biology goes against it. It’s not an instinct to fuck, since we’re both men. If anything, you’re dangerous for me, and the human brain would logically not want me to fall for such a person. Yet here we are,” he said with a soft smile.
Levi did not feel like arguing. The drugs made his head swim again. “Believe what you want. If it’s getting late, we should get dinner.”
“I already told the other officers, I’m staying in with my wife tonight.”
“Fuck you,” he mumbled.
“Well, you aren’t my spouse, but you are my soulmate.”
“Says who?”
“I do! Now, rest. I’ll watch over you.”
“I shouldn’t … sleep … more,” Levi said, yet his head was already growing heavy.
Eren stroked along the smooth brow as Levi went limp. After a few minutes, Levi rolled onto his side and curled up again.
Eren sighed in bliss. He felt like Heaven had blessed him with seeing this rare sight, Levi not only asleep, but curled like a kitten on his lap. As the shadows deepened and the sun sank, he stayed where he was, listening to Levi’s steady, heavy breaths and feeling his hair slip through his fingers.
In his sleep, Levi whispered, “Ima, lo’ ba’ li.”
Eren held back a chuckle. Talking in his sleep now? Seriously, Levi could not get any cuter!
“Takhshet, zei nit kain vyzoso.”
Were these dreams? For that matter, did Levi really dream in Yiddish? He wondered what it all meant. Whatever the words, these were definitely dreams about him.
Then Levi whispered with the words fading on his lips, “Bashert … Neshomeleh.”
Eren listened for more, but Levi seemed to have slipped deeper into sleep. He closed his eyes, not really intending to fall asleep, but slowly his hand slipped off Levi’s forehead and went limp in his lap.
# # #
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Lots of notes, wheeee!!!
—
“dressing Jews in uniforms” – Near the end of the war, Germany became so desperate for bodies in uniform, they even recruited Jews out of concentration camps to fight the Soviets.
- https://listverse.com/2019/06/14/10-jews-who-fought-in-hitlers-nazi-army
Dual city names – The varying names of cities is due to the history of the area. Northeastern France was once the Kingdom of Lotharingia, and many of the villages had Germanic names. It was annexed by France in 1766, renamed Lorraine, and cities in the region were renamed to meet Franconian standards. The German Empire regained a part of it in 1871 and restored the Germanic names. Germany lost that territory in the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, and the names went back to French. Then France surrendered to the Nazis in 1940 and the names went back to German. The Nazis lost, and the names went back to French. So Eren, being German, knows the Germanic names, while Levi, being French, knows the French names.
I wrote notes about these back when Armin explained his plan to Eren, so just a reminder, plus the other locations I mentioned.
- Diedenhofen = Thionville, 28 km (17 miles) north of Metz. It was liberated on September 12, 1944, and it is currently September 21, so “about a week.”
- Nanzig = Nancy, 53 km (32 miles) south of Metz. It was liberated on September 15, 1944.
- Roseringen = Rozérieulles, 8 km (5 miles) west of Metz and situated right between Feste Kaiserin (Fort Jeanne d’Arc) and Feste Kronprinz (Fort Driant). Americans first tried to attack this little winery village on September 16th (so six days before this chapter takes place) but they failed against the elite troops of the 462nd Volksgrenadier-Division. Because of the gasoline shortage, Rozérieulles would be left alone for almost two months. The Americans finally resumed their attacks in November, including heavy bombers that caused massive amounts of damage to civilian property. The Allies gained control of Rozérieulles on November 20, 1944.
- Gravelotte – 13 km (8 miles) west of Metz and practically in the shadow of Feste Kaiserin. It firmly held out against the Allies, not being liberated until December 13, 1944, when Feste Kaiserin became the last Metz fort to surrender. Fun fact: In 1870, the Battle of Gravelotte was the biggest battle of the Franco-Prussian War. When Germany defeated France and annexed parts of their eastern territory, they picked Gravelotte as the starting point for their newly attained land. That means, from 1870 until the end of World War I, Gravelotte was the westernmost city in Germany.
Hürtgenwald – The German name for what English speakers will find on maps and in history books as “Hürtgen Forest.” On September 19, 1944, the Battle of Hürtgen Forest began. (So two days before this chapter.) The Germans fiercely defended the area because it secretly served as a staging area for the 1944 winter offensive Wacht am Rhein. (Americans call it “The Battle of the Bulge.”) The Allies failed to capture the area, and the Germans successfully held the region until they launched their last-ditch offensive into the Ardennes on December 16th, effectively ending the battle. That makes the Battle of Hürtgen Forest the longest single battle the U.S. Army has ever fought, yet because the Battle of the Bulge gained widespread media attention, it is a battle few Americans remember. (My high school U.S. History book had three whole pages detailing the Battle of the Bulge, yet the Battle of Hürtgen Forest was not mentioned.)
Lothringen – German name for the Lorraine region, an area of northeastern France, named after the medieval kingdom of Lotharingia. During World War II, the Cross of Lorraine became the symbol of the Free French Forces (Forces Françaises Libres).
Calais – a major port in France. Double agents led Germany to believe the Allies were amassing to attack Calais, so Hitler really ramped up the defenses there. This was all a bluff so the defenses around Normandy would be lessened. The Allies ignored Calais until September 22nd, when the Canadian army assaulted the German garrison. The Germans surrendered on October 1, 1944, but the devastation was so severe, the port would not open until November.
Population – The United States population really was about the same as France, the UK, and Germany combined. In 1940, respectively, those countries had populations of 41,700,000; 47,760,000; and 68,000,000 (not counting conquered territories). The population of the United States of America in 1940 was over 132 million, with 10 million in New York City alone.
“he’s been giving strange orders” – Indeed, Hitler began to give his generals seemingly bizarre orders. For instance, he demanded that General der Panzertruppe Otto von Knobelsdorff (the guy at Eren’s promotion ceremony) send a large portion of his tanks north to Hürtgenwald, right as the American army was setting up to attack Metz. Hitler was actually planning the Ardennes Offensive (AKA “The Battle of the Bulge”) but those plans were top secret. Knobelsdorff refused to comply, and so on November 14th he was removed from his post.
Böse Dame and Quartett – There are many card games in Germany, and most of them have equivalents in other countries. Böse Dame (Evil Queen) is similar to the game Hearts, only you want to end the game with high points, not low. If you end up with the “Evil Queen” (Queen of Spades) you get negative 50 points. The game Quartett is known by many similar names throughout Europe, although in America we called it Go Fish. It was good for larger groups, at least three players, with the idea being to get the most sets of four. Children often played it with cards that had educational information like animals, locations, or famous people. You can even play it with anime characters! Collect all four Levis!
- https://germanculture.com.ua/daily/german-card-games
Plato’s Soulmates
In Plato’s Symposium, the playwright Aristophanes tells a story about the first humans. They were spherical creatures with two faces, two hearts, four ears, four arms, four legs, and genitals that faced outward on either side. They could walk forward or backward equally fine, and when they wanted to go fast, they would cartwheel around on all eight limbs. There were three groups: the male-male people who came from the sun, the female-female people who came from the earth, and the male-female people (Androgyne) who came from the moon.
One day, the humans attacked Mount Olympus. Some gods wanted to destroy them, as they had destroyed the giants, but the gods relied on human worship for their power, so wiping humanity out would weaken themselves. Zeus decided that if he split the humans into two parts, that made twice as many humans and twice as much tribute, making the gods more powerful.
So Zeus cut them in two and twisted the head around so that they might gaze upon their sheered side in shame. Apollo pulled the skin and bones around to sew up the gaping part, fused the breastbone, and left lines of extra skin around the belly and navel as a reminder. (Which is why we have a belly button.)
As humans sought out their other half, they would embrace, trying to pull their bodies back together. However, their genitals were located behind them, above their butts, so they were dying off. (Apparently Greeks did not twerk.) Zeus moved the genitals around to the front. Then when a male and female human collided together, they would procreate and expand the human population.
Sun people were gay, the most masculine of humans, since their whole soul was male in origin; they were often heroes and statesmen. Earth people were lesbians, the most beautiful of women, being wholly feminine in origin. Moon people were heterosexual, more likely to procreate, but Plato warned that many were adulterers.
The god of Love promised mankind that, if they lived pious lives, he would merge their souls back together, and they would exist in the afterlife as a single soul once more. Some believed that when this pious, merged soul was reborn, the person was what we now call Intersex. Thus intersex people were lauded as those who had attained spiritual wholeness and were put in charge of temples.
- Reading of Plato with animation: https://youtu.be/nQZXB9lBP1Y
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symposium_(Plato)#Aristophanes
- https://www.thelawofattraction.com/twin-flames
* * *
HOW TO BEAT AMERICA AT WAR
Levi’s line about “an army’s best bet for defeating America” came from a school essay I wrote about wars America lost from 1900 to the current day. (I wrote the essay in 2003, shortly after we invaded Afghanistan and Iraq, so it was based around current events.) My argument was that America wins wars if we can blitz through a country, and we lose wars when they drag out.
American politics is fickle to the votes of the people, and isolationism has been popular in America since before we were a nation. Colonists wanted nothing to do with what was going on across the Atlantic, even refusing to pay taxes that funded European wars. Thomas Jefferson warned against “entangling alliances” with European countries. In the 1930s, The America First Committee formed, an anti-Semitic, pro-fascist political coalition that did not want to enter World Was II, claimed British Prime Minister Winston Churchill was a “half-Jew,” and pushed for a peace deal with Adolf Hitler.
Politicians do whatever it takes to get elected, so if a war is unpopular, they will not support joining in, even if it’s to save our allies. We withdrew our support during the Russian Civil War of 1918, which led to Communists forming the Soviet Union, and the Cold War lasted through most of the 20th century. We could not easily win the Korean War, so after three years we withdrew our troops, and tensions there still threaten the world. After years of protests across the United States, America finally gave up on Vietnam, withdrew our troops, and South Vietnam surrendered to the northern Communist regime.
However, if you attack us directly … that is different! The America First Committee disbanded after Japan destroyed Pearl Harbor, writing that the attack made it the duty of all Americans to support the war effort.
Even then, though, if a war lasts too long, the voters grow bored and want to simply end it, even if we haven’t yet won, and even if we know this will create enemies that (more often than not) haunt America for decades to come. A current example (ongoing as I write this) America is pulling out of Afghanistan after dragging that out for 20 years. Despite it being a retaliation for the 9/11 terrorist attack, 20 years was just too much! Even after it became clear that the Taliban was going to overthrow the government, even after American soldiers were killed by a suicide bomber, so far we are continuing to leave, because quite frankly, Americans are sick of being there pointlessly.
My conclusion was thus: There’s an easy way to win a war against America. Make us bored! If you hunker down, survive the initial wave, force a ground war, and drag things out for a couple of years, then like toddlers, Americans get bored. We wanna go home!
We will revert to isolationistic opinions of “why are we sending soldiers to die on foreign soil” and vote out politicians who support continuing unpopular military action. Once we leave, the rest of NATO or the U.N. leaves too—since, let’s be real, they’re kind of powerless without the insane size of the American military—and a country can go about like usual.
Although American wars in the 21st century involve more drone strikes and fewer ground troops, my thesis continues to hold true. If we are there are merely a deterrent, military action is highly unpopular, Americans grow bored, and we don’t even care if we win or lose. We don’t want to “play the game” anymore. If you attack American soil, though, we are a massive force of trigger-happy, overly-patriotic assholes oozing red-white-and-blue from our veins, with insane firepower at our disposal and a culturally-ingrained mentality of wanting to be war heroes.
If you want to win against America, don’t attack America itself. We would rather fight for twenty years than let go of revenge. You can still win, but a whole generation has to grow bored of revenge before we finally let the matter go.
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