Crash

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Chapter 5


Shin\'ichi had made sure he was away for nearly an hour, getting some
food for himself and speaking with just about everyone he could think
that might object to allowing the author to visit. When he returned
he couldn\'t help a faint smile—Yuki had apparently fallen asleep
sitting up and had flopped onto his side in exhaustion. Moving as
carefully as he could, Shin\'ichi gently moved the author\'s legs up
onto the bed as well. Yuki made a half-asleep growl, and Shin\'ichi
was treated to an almost amusing glare before gold eyes fluttered
closed again. //I am looking forward to learning more of this man.
He seems to genuinely care about Shuuichi….// He pulled a light
blanket over the other\'s long body before finding his own seat at his
son\'s side.

//Shuuichi…you are happy, right? I knew things would be difficult
for you, but Yuki-kun….// Reaching out, he brushed a stray bang from
the boy\'s eyes.

After an indeterminable amount of time, Shuuichi finally stirred and
woke. Shin\'ichi smiled. \"Good morning.\"

Shuuichi\'s lips curled faintly around the respirator tube,
stretching. A pain passed briefly over his face, and he quickly
settled once more. //Dad….//

Just a bit awkwardly, Shin\'ichi set a hand on top of the boy\'s head.
Once he seemed to relax they began to chat, very softly to avoid
waking the author. Or rather, Shin\'ichi talked, mostly about his
work and friends, just catching up with his son.

Yuki opened his eyes slightly, watching the ceiling as he half
listened to the man\'s talking. He was somewhat preoccupied, however,
by the all too familiar feeling of being stretched out on a hospital
bed. There was only a thin sheet covering him, but it was somehow
suffocating. The bright lights, the pale walls, the voices drifting
in and out of focus nearby—

Without warning Yuki sat abruptly upright, casting the sheet off him
and pushing to his feet. The movement was too fast, however, and he
stumbled a moment as his head spun. //Damnit. I really am
exhausted.// An hour long nap in a hospital bed had only done very
little to quell his fatigue; he took a deep breath as he took in his
surrounding, his eyes landing at last on Shuuichi. \"You\'re awake,\"
he remarked somewhat blankly.

Shuuichi had jumped at the sudden movement beside him, eyes wide when
he recognized who it was. He didn\'t, however, send the glare his
father deserved for not telling him Yuki had come to visit. His
focus was completely on his lover.

Shin\'ichi sobered as he watched his son. The look on his face was
enough to convince him not only that the author was indeed his lover,
but…something much more. He…couldn\'t remember ever seeing such a
look on Shuuichi\'s face, the blatant relief, honest pleasure at
Yuki\'s appearance, and something hopeful and vulnerable that made
Shin\'ichi suddenly feel that he should have escaped. Instead he
simply sat back, turning his head as if to watch something out the
window until he got over his own embarrassment.

Yuki hesitated aent ent before coming forward. He had no idea how to
act—it was hard enough knowing what to do to with Shuuichi when he
was healthy and energetic, let alone when he was injured, let alone
with his father sitting so casually next to them. \"Hey,\" he greeted
quietly, struggling with so many conflicting emotions that his voice
came out somewhat deadpan. He brushed his fingers across Shuuichi\'s
forehead and through his hair. \"You still look awful.\"

Shuuichi scrunched his eyes and nose in the best sour-face he could
manage. His mood had improved much from the previous day, and he
eagerly tilhis his head up into the touch. After a moment, though,
he suddenly remembered that his father was still in the room. //Oh
jeez, I never—he doesn\'t—I….// Starting, he glanced back at the elder
man quickly, suddenly anxious as his jaw tightened around the tube.

Feeling those eyes on him, Shin\'ichi faced the pair again. He didn\'t
bother to hide his pleased smile at the author\'s unthinking, gentle
gesture. \"I\'m afraid you don\'t get to introduce me to Yuki-kun,
Shuuichi. We\'ve already met.\"

Shuuichi\'s eyes widened, then softened again. //Dad….//

Yuki glanced away, feeling as if he were disturbing some kind of
intimate moment. He wasn\'t used to this kind of blatant parental
care, and he found it a little uncomfortable, as if he didn\'t know
whether it was appropriate to be here. //Though maybe I\'m starting
to understand Shuuichi a little better. There must be a lot of
things about him I don\'t know….// He licked his lips and waited a
moment until the two had shared whatever time they needed.

Shuuichi\'s attention swung back to Yuki like a compass. //He did
come back. I\'m so glad he\'s okay….// His right arm, still strapped
to the bed guard-rail, groped after the author.

The door abruptly opened, revealing a dark-haired girl in a bright
schoolgirl uniform. \"Here you are! I was about to tear up the
nurses\' station looking for you.\" She faced Shin\'ichi with her hands
on her hips. \"You could have at least left me a better note, Dad,
telling me where they were hiding him.\" Marching forward, she
slipped around her father\'s chair to lean over into Shuuichi\'s
surprised face. \"You look awful, Nii-chan.\"

Blinking in surprise, Shuuichi looked to his father for help, and
Shin\'ichi smiled faintly. \"Maiko, you\'re being rude to Shuuichi\'s
visitor.\"

\"Eh?\" Raising her head, Maiko looked over Yuki with a critical eye.

//Nii-chan?// Yuki frowned slightly as he met the girl\'s serious
gaze, at a loss for words. //There\'s another one? His…sister?// He
rubbed absently at his stomach; he hadn\'t realized earlier, but he
hadn\'t eaten anything at all the day before, and the coffee he\'d had
earlier felt as if it still rested heavily in him. \"I\'m Yuki Eiri,\"
he introduced awkwardly, giving a slight bow of his head. He felt
somewhat dazed.

\"I know you,\" she replied easily, straightening to get a better look
at him. \"I\'ve read a lot of your books—they\'re pretty good.\" Maiko
caught her brother\'s pleading gaze, but she ignored it. \"I saw you
on the news, too.\" Her eyes narrowed. \"You\'d better be taking care
of my big brother, or you\'ll regret it.\"

\"Maiko…\" Shin\'ichi said warningly.

\"Well, he\'d better,\" she replied.

\"Maiko, why don\'t you go get us all some lunch, hmm?\" Pulling
several bills from his pocket, he pressed them into his daughter\'s
hand and shooed her towards the door.

The girl sent them all a doubtful glare. \"I will, but then I get to
visit with my brother.\"

As she finally left, Shin\'ichi chuckled lightly. \"My apologizes,
Yuki-kun. I should have warned you earlier.\" Grinning down at
Shuuichi, he settled back into his chair. \"I almost forgot how
difficult it is to have both of these children in one room.\"

//Well, at least her,// Shuuichi thought, fingers just reaching to
tug lightly at Yuki\'s shirt. //Yuki….//

Yuki thoughtlessly offered his hand to the other, though he didn\'t
turn his face back just yet. \"It\'s all right. I understand.\" He
still felt a little uncomfortable but his fingers curled slightly
around Shuuichi\'s nonetheless. //I don\'t know what to do. Usually
it\'s just him talking on and on…I have no idea what to say.// \"I…
didn\'t know you had a sister,\" he said at last, even realizing it was
a pale attempt at conversation.

Shuuichi sent a pleading look at his father, and Shin\'ichi easily
settled a pad of paper and pen within his reach. Still smiling, he
patted Shuuichi briefly on the head before making a quiet, discreet
exit of his own. Grateful to his thoughtfulness, Shuuichi was
finally ableput put all his attention on his lover. He squeezed
Yuki\'s hand playfully as he wrote, \"you never asked.\"

Yuki glanced over, snorting at the boy\'s sloppy, left-handed
writing. \"Guess I never thought of it,\" he murmured. Now that
Shin\'ichi had left he slumped a little in his chair, though he only
felt a bit more at ease. \"Your father, though…sea loa lot like
you.\" He licked his lips, even if his mouth was dry. //I don\'t know
if I can do this after all.// \"I…won\'t be able to stay long,\" he
said at last, letting his gaze flicker over Shuuichi and away
again. \"I just wanted to make sure you were at least getting some
rest.\" //And I hate it here. I can\'t stay here.//

Shuuichi nodded, expression sobering. //Yuki…I wish you would stay,
but…I know. You look so tired….// \"You need sleep,\" he wrote. His
fingers tightened, hoping for at least some response. \"Doc said tube
go tomorrow. Dad stays.\" And though he wanted Yuki with him, he…
didn\'t feel he had the right to ask. Somehow, he was a bit fearful,
though he couldn\'t determine from what yet.

//Tomorrow, huh? Maybe then things will be a little more normal, if
he\'s back to talking….// He could see what Shuuichi was thinking
plainly on his face, but he wasn\'t sure if he could grant the
unvoiced request. //I should stay. It means a lot to him, and if I
go home I\'ll just lay around the apartment anyway….// Yuki closed
his eyes as he gave Shuuichi\'s hand a brief squeeze. \"I don\'t have
to go just yet,\" he said evenly. \"But I don\'t know if I can be very
good company to you.\"

//Yuki, you\'re so…silly.// Smiling faintly, Shuuichi wished he could
have spoken…. \"Just sit,\" he wrote. \"Maybe TV? Watch with
me?\" //We don\'t need to talk, and if that\'s on then maybe it won\'t
be so…quiet.//

Yuki cocked an eyebrow. //Not that I\'d be able to focus on it, but I
guess it\'s better than nothing.// \"Sure.\" He let go of Shuuichi\'s
hand just long enough to find the remote; he didn\'t like how clammy
his fel felt now that he\'d let Shuuichi go. But a moment later he
was back, offering him at least that much. He found some daytime
variety shows that seemed harmless enough, and settled into his chair
a bit better; maybe he could even get some rest like this. \"This
okay?\"

Shuuichi nodded as emphatically as he could, letting his pencil rest
as he sank back into the thin, stiff mattress. Yuki\'s hand was cool
in his, and he held it a bit tighter. //This is perfect. We can
stay just like this.// Feeling calmer than he had in a while, some
of the constant ache he\'d been suffering seemed to recede as well.
It…was a great relief.

----

The next day Yuki was back in the morning; he\'d stayed into the
afternoon the day before, only to go home, order carry out, and catch
brief moments of sleep through the night. It was a little better
now, knowing that Shuuichi was all right and might even be released
soon, but being in the hospital for so long had somehow shaken him
deeply. He couldn\'t quite get the smooth white walls and rectangular
lights out of his head, and after taking twice his normal dose of
medication for the evening he\'d finally managed a bit of rest,
however frail.

There was a tense moment when the doctor entered Shuuichi\'s room, a
nurse beside him just in case. Yuki stood off to the side and well
out of the way of Shuuichi\'s father and sister; if Shuuichi was able
to breathe on his own after the machines were disconnected, they\'d be
able to remove the tube and let him go home. Though…at this point
Yuki wasn\'t sure what that might mean, either. With Shuuichi\'s
family here he might elect to return with them, and he wasn\'t sure
whether he preferred that or not.

Shuuichi was as nervous as he\'d ever gotten before a show, trying to
keep from shifting all over the place as the doctor leaned over him.
Maiko was gripping his left hand, his father just behind her, and
Yuki was somewhere hidden behind the doctor. He tried to follow the
instructions given him—keep calm, breath normally—but he still tensed
when the man\'s hands fell over the tube, beginning to detach it.

He closed his eyes, feeling a little tug and the hiss of air. For a
painfully long moment there was silence, and his lungs refused to
move. Shuuichi would have started panicking if the doctor hadn\'t
given his cheek a light slap. He took a deep, surprised gasp, eyes
opening—he\'d held his breath out of nervousness. But as he continued
to take in air without much pain, relief flooded him until his eyes
stung. //I\'m okay—I can…breathe….//

Yuki released a quiet sigh of relief; he didn\'t have to look to hear
that Shuuichi was breathing on his own, and he was glad—more glad
than he ought to have been, considering it meant Shuuichi would be
back to talking his ear off in no time. But…he was happy, and took
several deep breaths of his own before stepping forward. \"Is that
it?\" he asked amidst the room\'s silence. \"Is he all right?\"

The doctor smiled faintly, switching off a few machines and pulling
the heart monitor from Shuuichi\'s finger. \"I wouldn\'t say he\'s `all
right,\' but this was our biggest worry.\" He leaned closer, watching
his patient. \"Are you ready for the next part? Just like I
explained.\"

Shuuichi nodded, fingers curling tensely as the doctor took a firm
hold of the tube-end in his mouth. Following his instructions, he
took a deep breath in, out, in, and—

The tube was pulled from his throat with a wave of scraping pain in
his throat, and immediately Shuuichi began coughing. His free hand
jerked from Maiko\'s grip to grasp his neck. Gasping and choking,
tears springing from his eyes, Shuuichi tried to get his breathing
under control as the doctor watched with some satisfaction.

Yuki turned away to hide his cringe. //At least he\'s breathing,// he
told himself, slipping his hands into his pockets. //He\'s breathing,
so he\'ll be all right.// Once he, too, was calm again he stepped to
the foot of Shuuichi\'s bed, watching him anxiously. //He still looks
awful, though.//

Shuuichi calmed eventually, and watched as the doctor removed the
rest of the wires and needles from him, eventually releasing his
trapped arm. He listened as best he could to all the final
instructions, barely able to believe that he was being allowed to
leave. Finally, the doctor left.

And Shuuichi found himself suddenly torn. He was being watched by
his sister, father, and Yuki. //They\'re letting me go home, but what
home….// He licked his lips.

Shin\'ichi watched his son\'s anxiety grow with each passing moment,
and he finally turned towards the author, deciding to face the
situation head-on. \"Yuki-kun,\" he started. \"Shuuichi told me he\'s
been staying with you the last few months. It might be easier for
him to stay with you, as all his things are there, I\'d assume, but if
you are too busy to baby-sit this little fool—\" He smiled at the
boy\'s awful expression. \"—then Maiko and I can come by and get a few
things before we have to return home ourselves.\"

Yuki frowned slightly, being made to decide like this. But he knew,
in the end, what was the only option he could choose if he didn\'t
want to hear about it for the rest of his natural life. \"Shuuichi
can stay with me,\" he said easily. \"He\'s made the place his own
anyway.\" In truth he took the situation more seriously than that,
but he didn\'t want to bring Shuuichi\'s spirits down. As long as
Shuuichi was happy, he\'d make a speedy recovery.

\"Yuki….\" Shuuichi was positively beaming, happy enough to ignore the
roughness in his voice. He turned to smile at his family, and
received a private wink from his sister.

A nurse appeared with a wheelchair then, and his father assisted Yuki
in getting him into it. Moving was enough to quell most of his joy,
as everything sent some kind of needle-like pain into his chest. He
tried to push it aside as Maiko took over control of his wheelchair
and steered him out the door purposefully.

Yuki trailed along behind them, just grateful to be leaving this
place at last. Even if he knew better than to think looking after
Shuuichi would be easy, it couldn\'t be any worse than being trapped
in a hospital room. The first breath of air once they were outside
was almost shocking, as if it were cutting through a layer of sharp-
smelling medicine and cold sweat. It was a profound relief.

The four of them drove to Yuki\'s apartment, and as something of a
team effort managed to get Shuuichi inside and comfortably arranged
on the sofa with pillows and blankets; it would be too much of a
bother for him to be climbing in and out of a bed every night with
both legs in such high casts. Yuki stayed back while the family
chatted a bit, fixing himself another cup of coffee; it was going to
be a long day.

Shuuichi soon realized that his doctor\'s warning about being easily
tired were too true—he found himself yawing in the middle of
sentences, and it was barely after noon!

Shin\'ichi chuckled at the boy\'s expression and exchanged a glance
with his daughter. \"I think it\'s time we were leaving.\" He leaned
close to clasp his son\'s shoulder. \"You keep in touch with us,
okay? We want to know how you\'re recovering.\"

\"I will,\" Shuuichi assured, smiling faintly as the two stood.

Nodding, Shin\'ichi excused himself briefly to slip into the
kitchen. \"Yuki-kun. I want to thank you again.\" He bowed
seriously, though his eyes were bright. \"If you ever need anything,
please do not be afraid to ask. After all, I have already told the
hospital staff you were family, and I meant it. Let me know if my
monster of a son starts wearing you out too much.\"

Yuki nodded awkwardly. \"I will.\" But he\'d managed Shuuichi this
long, somehow, and even if he didn\'t have all his confidence he knew
he could look after him well enough; for a while, at least. It
wasn\'t as if he couldn\'t pass Shuuichi off to Hiroshi or even his
parents if he got sick of it. But…he didn\'t like that train of
thought, and he smothered it in a quick sip of coffee. \"And…thank
you, Shindo-san. For…\" He ced ced away in embarrassment. \"…
understanding.\"

Shin\'ichi smiled at that. \"I would like to think I am more open-
minded than some, but then, n\'tn\'t believe anyone could not be after
living with that little monster.\" He set a hand briefly on Yuki\'s
shoulder. \"Take care of each other,\" he said by way of parting, and
with a last smile he joined his daughter as they left the apartment.

Yuki finished his coffee—quickly—before returning to the living room
where Shuuichi was waiting for him. \"Hey.\" He stood beside the
sofa, looking everything over to make sure he was satisfied with it
all. They had grouped together a bunch of Shuuichi\'s things near the
bed, including magazines and the television remote control, he had
plenty of blankets and pillows, and even a few snacks Maiko had
bought for him. \"I suppose this is it, then,\" Yuki said easily,
though he was at something of a loss. //What now?// \"Though you
should probably rest for a while. I have some work to do—do you
think you\'ll be okay by yourself for a bit?\"

Shuuichi nodded sleepily, eyelids drooping a bit. \"Mmm, yeah…. I
need a nap anyway.\" Reaching out, he caught Yuki\'s hand, just
holding it a moment with a faint smile on his lips. //I\'m home; it
feels like…it\'s been forever.// With a quiet sigh he let the other
go, fighting suddenly just to stay awake. \"Maybe I\'ll…watch some…
TV…\" he murmured softly.

Yuki crouched down beside him just long enough to touch the top of
Shuuichi\'s head. //Welcome back.// \"Get some sleep,\" he instructed
with all the sternness he could manage. For a moment things almost
seemed back to normal.... \"I\'ll be just in the next room, if you
need anything.\" Made suddenly embarrassed by his own show of
affection he stood, taking a step away. \"I\'ll wake you in a few
hours lunclunch.\"

Shuuichi\'s smile grew a bit wider, even as his eyes finally closed
completely. \"Real food….\" Sighing happily, he took the thought of
being able to eat real, honest-to-goodness food rather than being fed
from a needle with him into his dreams.

----

Shuuichi woke up what felt like several hours later with a very
urgent need to go. Shifting on the couch, he frowned at the casts
covering most of his legs. //Well, that sucks, but I really gotta
go.// His eyes danced to the wood floor—Yuki\'s *expensive* wood
floor. After some more consideration, Shuuichi wrapped his blanket
around the thick plaster. //There.//

Pleased, he set about carefully lowering himself and the casts to the
floor. It took a bit more effort than he thought it would, and he
was a little winded when he finally made it, but that didn\'t deter
him for long. Wincing only slightly with his aching ribs, Shuuichi
began to scoot himself across the floor.

He barely made it to the hall when he had to stop, panting softly and
wrapping an arm around his chest. //Why…am I having such trouble?
I\'m not that weak, but…it\'s so hard to breathe….// He closed his eyes
and leaned against the doorframe as he tried to get his lungs to calm
and slow.

Yuki blinked up at the ceiling as he was drawn from his light sleep;
he\'d managed only a bit of work before stretching out in bed to
rest. That was a few hours ago, but it didn\'t feel as if he\'d gained
any strength from it. His attention was drawn to the hallway by the
sound of weak breath. //Shuuichi?// Frowning, he abandoned his rest
to peer outside his room, there finding Shuichi seated on the floor
nearby. \"What are you doing?\"

Starting guiltily, Shuuichi tried to brighten his expression, not
wanting Yuki to see how weak he was. He smiled over his shoulder,
hand still to his chest. \"Sorry…did I bother you…?\" He tried to
straighten away from the wall a bit. \"I was…trying to be quiet….\"

\"You\'re supposed to be on the couch,\" Yuki reminded him, coming
forward slowly. He crouched down beside him and frowned to see how
out of breath he was. //His lungs must still be weak,// he
reasoned. \"Oh well. Just hold still—I\'ll take you back.\"

Shuuichi squirmed away from his hands. \"No I….\" He flushed darkly,
embarrassed. //I don\'t want to be any trouble for him, but….//
Ducking between his shoulders, he blushed some more. \"I…have to go,\"
he finally said, twirling his fingers nervously.

Yuki blinked. \"Oh.\" //Of course. I guess this means I\'ll be doing
this a lot.// \"All right.\" It was tough maneuvering with Shuuichi\'s
casts and the blanket he\'d wrapped around them, but he managed to tug
one of Shuuichi\'s arms over him, wrapping his own around the boy\'s
waist to half carry, half drag him into the bathroom. Without
showing his slight embarrassment he stood behind Shuuichi, allowing
the boy to lean against him as he did his business. //How long do
these casts have to stay on, again…?//

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