My Thoughts Of You

Disclaimer: *sigh* YOU KNOW ME BY NOW! I OWN NOTHING!

Author\'s Notes: This was inspired by part of a line in a book by Tami Hoag called A Thin Dark Line. Something along the lines of \'Their kisses tasted dark and salty...\' I liked it. How can something \'taste\' dark? It was beautiful in my mind. Lonesome, morbid. To taste darkness is to swallow the light. Night closing in on the ever shrinking flame of a candle. I imagine that is what dark tastes like. Bland, hot, bittersweet in the burn.

Dear lord... I\'m an angst whore.
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My Thoughts Of You
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The Darkness Can Consume The Light
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My first tastes of you, and I was hooked.

The lingering, lust filled kisses we shared tasted dark on my tongue.

The heat between us that warmed me to my very core was an excruciating pleasure.

Our sin filled caresses made me ache for you more than I ever thought possible.

Once it seemed that you were my Shadow and I was your Light,

But here, in this darkened room, you’re are the one who glows so intensely, and I am overshadowed.

And my shame is cast out in the open in your Light, the green burn of your eyes on me.

You are like my son.

My heir, my work of art, my tragic romance.

The silence is heavy around us, like cold breath hung in the winter night air, waiting to shatter into icicles.

And as always, my regret twines its way in between us, driving me to rise from the bed, once again breaking my promise to spend the night.

Yet, you’ve never called me on it, not once.

I feel you are the only one who can understand my plight, my life, my duties.

And why not? We have the same blood coursing through us.

Fully dressed, I head for the door, and finally, you speak.

“Tohma… I love you.”

Your voice is so soft, captivating. A caress of warmth without the physical touch.

I want to return to your arms, show you how our frenzied passions can be gentle and full of the emotion I can never publicly show you.

But my shame is casting its Shadow over my eyes as I tug the brim of my hat down further, bowing my head. Your eyes piercing through me, showing me my inner most desires and disgraces.

If only you could comprehend how wrong this truly is… if only, if only.

But it was I who raised you, not your parents, not really. I taught you right from wrong, good and bad.

I taught you how good my touch was, how you could make yours good too.

And I never taught you how bad or wrong of a man I am for doing these things to you.

I barely feel the doorknob beneath my hand, gloves blocking all sensation. I have to leave quickly. Any outside light will surly enhance your glow, blinding me without looking at you.

I fear I could be roasted alive under your gaze.

“I know you do,” I murmur back, my hand tightening in response on the knob as I yank open the door, making an ungraceful exit, pulling it shut quickly behind me.

Oh, I do love you. I love you with all of my being. But I’ll never be able to tell it to you, Suguru. Never.
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Okay, this is a little different from the other chapters, but I was inspired differently.

I will admit, this is A LOT of fantasy on my part. I just love the cousins so much. I wanted tragic mush. Actually, it almost goes hand in hand with the first ficlet. Where Suguru, well, you read it.

I\'ve noticed that any fics surrounding Tohma and Suguru are either one-shots, one-sided, song fics and so on. Never a real story, y\'know?

So, I\'m going to write one. This ficlet inspired me.

Review!

~Subby