The Key to My Heart

Title: The Key to My Heart: Chapter 5
Author: JadeHeart
Archived: Found on gurabiteshiyon.net. If anyone else would like it, please ask me first!
Fandom: Gravitation
Rating: R
Warnings: Bad language mainly
Timeline: After the anime/manga finishes.
Characters: Yuki, Tohma, and original character, FBI Agent Jim Harris (yes, he’s all mine!)
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome! If I don’t get feedback, I don’t want to continue!
Summary: Just how far would Yuki go in search of Shuichi?
Author’s Notes: Thank you to all the reviewers! Be prepared for heavy tissue use! And just remember, there is still more to come, so don’t give up on this story yet!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’, nor am I making any profits from this.

The Key to My Heart: Chapter 5

The plane landed late morning in Washington, D.C. Yuki was impatient. He was so close now. Soon. Jim had assured them that he had arranged everything. A flash of his badge cleared their path magically. True to his word, a car was ready and waiting for them also.

“My contact told me more information would be waiting at the drop point.”

“And in plain English, what does that mean?” Tohma asked.

“A designated location that only he and I know about, where he can leave confidential information for me. That way we never have to meet in person, unless absolutely necessary. It’s so neither of us can be linked to the other, if he’s picked up a tail.”

“Sounds very secretive.”

Jim laughed loudly. “Well, I am the FBI. We’re supposed to be secretive!”

“So what is the other information, do you think?”

“Definitely the suspected location of the survivors. That much he indicated in the call.”

“What else?”

Jim shrugged. “Don’t know. We’ll find out soon enough.”

Jim navigated the streets using the GPS, although he admitted that he knew DC quite well anyway. He moved into the quieter suburbs, before pulling up outside a small local post office.

“Just wait here a minute. I’ll be back.”

Yuki watched Jim walk across to where the locked postal boxes lined the wall, stopping at one and opening it. He was there no more than a few moments before turning back to the car. As Jim drew closer, Yuki could see him now carrying a large envelope.

He stepped in and tossed the envelope to Tohma, before starting the car and moving back onto the road.

“Open it up, will you?”

Tohma threw a brief glance towards Yuki in the back, catching his eye. Yuki nodded curtly, leaning forward. Tohma slipped his fingers under the flap and tore it open, reaching in to pull out the folder inside. He opened it and scanned the front page.

“Do we have an address?” Jim asked, watching the road.

Tohma gave it to him.

“Yep. I know the place.” Jim said, changing lanes quickly. “It wont take us long to get there.” He looked over at Yuki. “You might want to read through the rest. I don’t know what’s in there but it’s probably everything my contact could get on the survivors. You’re the best person to figure out if your partner is one of them.”

Yuki took the file from Tohma’s hand and began to read.

“That one.” he finally said.

“Okay then.” Jim answered and they continued.

“Well, this is it.” Jim said, pulling up in front of the hospital entrance. He left the car running and turned in his seat to look at Yuki. “Look, I can’t really go flashing my badge around here too much because it might arouse a bit of suspicion, and questions might start getting asked. I would rather not have my superiors get any idea about what I’ve been up to, which means I need to lay low for now. I’m afraid you’re on your own from here on. It’s still not going to be easy for you to get in to see him, so be prepared for a shit fight.”

“Don’t worry about Eiri,” Tohma said. “He’s more than capable of handling himself.”

“He’s gonna have to be.” Jim said seriously. “These hospitals have security guards, and they’re not afraid to use them. So watch yourself. I’ll park the car and join you as soon as I can.”

“Fine.” Yuki said, opening the door and getting out.

Tohma called through his open window. “I’ll come in with Jim, Eiri. You may have better luck if you’re on your own instead of two of us. We’ll find you shortly.”

Yuki nodded and headed into the hospital. He checked the file in his hand again. It stated quite clearly that all the survivors were located in the ICU. He looked up the hospital directory board. Yes, there it was. He made his way down the corridors towards another wing, then took the elevator up to the designated floor.

He stepped out of the lift and looked around. A nurses’ station was directly in front of him. Beyond that, he could see the wide swing doors marked in large red letters, ICU. He made his way to the counter. The nurse seated there, looked up. “Can I help you, sir?”

“Yes,” Yuki said without preamble. “I’m here to see the patient in room 213.”

“The patient’s name?”

“Shuichi Shindou.”

The nurse tapped on the keyboard.

“And your name?”

Yuki told her. She tapped some more.

“I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have a patient by that name here.”

“That’s because he’s one of the survivors from the crash and you don’t know who the hell he is. He’s in room 213.”

The nurse tapped further on her computer. Yuki was becoming more impatient.

“I’m very sorry, sir. I can’t give you authorisation to go in. There’s been strict security instructions in relation to that patient and the others. Only the doctor can give that permission. If you would like to come back in…”

“I want to see him. Now.” Yuki could feel himself getting angrier the longer he was delayed.

“You can’t do so, sir. If you would like to leave your name and a contact number, I can ask the doctor to contact you at some point and you can discuss…..”

Yuki left her talking to air as he turned and strode towards the doors.

“Sir!” the nurse called, hurriedly pushing back her chair and rushing out from behind the counter to stand in front of Yuki’s path.

“Sir, you can’t go in there! That is the Intensive Care Unit, and you must be cleared to enter.”

“Get out of the way.”

“Sir, you can’t go in! You must wait to receive authorization from the doctors before entering. You can’t just go in!”

“Get. Out. Of. My. Way.” Yuki’s voice dropped dangerously low. He could feel his hands clenching into fists, could feel the tension in his muscles, the rage beginning to build. His eyes glared daggers at the nurse having the misfortune to be obstructing him. She faltered from that look, unnerved, but rallied.

“Sir, I must ask you again to go back. I can not allow you to go in there. You are not listed on the recognized visitors’ sheet. It’s critical you don’t enter. If you don’t desist, I will be forced to contact Security and have you forcibly removed.”

Black spots danced before Yuki’s eyes as the nurse spoke. He began to shake with rage, and then it boiled out. He took two long strides that brought him swiftly in front of her, no more than an inch between them. He shoved his face towards hers, looming over her shorter frame. The startled look on her face at the speed at which he had reached her, was tinged with fear.

Yuki glared at her fiercely. “Move.” he grated out.

She flinched at his tone but still stood her ground. Yuki lost all composure.

“MOVE YOUR FUCKING ARSE OR I’LL RIP YOUR GUTS OUT!” he almost screamed in her face.

The nurse melted to one side at this onslaught, and he pushed through the ICU swing doors. He didn’t look back to see her rushing frantically back behind her counter and picking up the phone.

He continued swiftly down the corridor, tracking the numbers of the rooms as he went. This area of the hospital was shrouded in deathly silence. Yuki found it unnerving, haunting. The hairs on the back of his neck began to rise. He walked on. Finally he stopped outside a door. Looking through the glass panel, he could just see the bed in the dimness. Could just see that the bed was occupied. He looked up at the number again, then down at the note clipped to the file in his hand. Yes, this was it.

Yuki opened the door and stood there, unmoving. The hiss of the respirator filled the room as it rose and fell, the regular beeping of the machines monitoring every action of the patient echoed in the stillness. Yuki moved closer to the bed, his heart in his mouth, his feet dragging.

The small figure lying on the bed was swathed in bandages from head to toe, not an inch of the body could be seen, not even the face. It looked morbidly like a mummy. Yuki could see that the hands and feet were nothing more than stumps. Tubes trailed from multiple locations, like obscene tentacles.

The smell of the antiseptic in the room was making Yuki’s stomach churn. His head was pounding, pressure pushing against his temples. He could feel his legs begin to shake, and unsteadily reached out a hand as he sat in the chair near the bedside, never taking his eyes from the bed’s occupant. His eyes prickled as tears began to form. Oh, gods! his mind screamed over and over again.

He opened the file he was still holding. He had read it in the car. It had nauseated him then, but now, faced with the stark reality before him, those words on the papers took on a far more horrifying meaning.

He re-read the brief report. Young male, estimated age 20 years old. Severe 3rd degree burns to 85% of the body, second degree burns to remaining 15%. Loss of digits on both hands and feet. Respiratory processes unable to be maintained without assistance. Severe head trauma resulting in a coma. Identified only as being of Japanese origin.

It had to be him. According to the manifest there were only a few people on that flight that even fell into that category. According to Jim’s source.

His vision blurred as the tears began to fall. He closed the file and looked back up. Shuichi. He had found him. Finally. His heart ached so much he brought a hand up and clutched his chest. What could he do? How could his Shuichi be like this? It’s not fair. It shouldn’t have happened to Shuichi. He didn’t deserve this!

“Hey,” Yuki said in a voice little more than a whisper. “I’m here.”

He didn’t know if the still figure could hear him. There was still so much conjecture as to whether coma patients could hear or not. He wanted to believe that Shuichi could hear him, would always hear him.

“You scared the hell out of me with this little stunt. I’ve had a hard time finding you, you know.” he continued quietly. “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without Tohma’s help. I know you have issues with him, but believe me, we both owe him big time for this one.”

He tentatively reached out a hand and hesitated before briefly touching the bandaged arm, then withdrawing. “When you wake up there’s someone else I want you to meet as well. His name’s Jim Harris and he’s really stuck his neck out for us both. I think you’d really like him. He’s an okay kind of guy.”

Yuki stood and walked over to the window, parting the blinds a little to look out into the sunshine. “You know it will be great to get back home. I know you said you wanted to see the US, but you can always come back. As soon as you can, I say we head home. Next time you come over here, I’ll make certain that I come with you. I can then show you some of the places that I used to know.”

He turned away from the window and walked back to sit in the chair. “You just concentrate on getting better now. You have to hurry up, you know, everyone’s waiting for you. Hiro’s probably never going to forgive you for putting him through this. You’re going to have to do a lot groveling to make up to him.”

A quiet sound made him turn his head. Tohma stood in the doorway, and entered only when Yuki nodded silently. He stepped quietly inside and made his way over to stand next to Yuki. He rested a hand on Yuki’s shoulder as he gazed at the still figure.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

“I’ve found him.” Yuki answered.

Tohma nodded. “You can stay here. Jim’s sorting things out with the hospital. He had to pull a bit of rank with the security. Apparently they were ready to come in here with guns blazing after the hysterical call the nurse made. You must have really frightened her.”

“She tried to stop me.”

“Ah. Yes. Well, that would have set you off. I suppose I should be glad you restrained yourself to just threatening her.” Yuki said nothing. Tohma squeezed his shoulder gently.

“I’m going to go and speak to the doctors, okay? I’ll come back when I’ve found out more.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know.” and Tohma left as quietly as he had arrived.

It was much later in the day when Tohma returned. Nurses had entered the room and left silently, eyeing Yuki with curiousity, mixed with fear. Word had been passed quickly about his earlier behaviour. They treated him like he was some kind of wild animal. Yuki didn’t care. He paid them no mind at all. All his attention was focused on the figure before him.

Tohma entered and returned to his place by Yuki’s chair. “Do you want to hear what I’ve found out?”

Yuki chewed his lip. Did he? Did he want to know anything else? Tohma was giving him the choice. No, he had to know. “Tell me.”

Tohma walked over to the window, turning so he could lean against the window ledge. He looked tired, Yuki thought. But then probably they all did.

“I spoke with the doctor. By the way, they were relieved to finally have a name to put to one of the survivors. They still hadn’t been able to find out anything about them. It sounds like it was going to be more a process of elimination. They were trying to get permission to have dental charts sent to them for all the passengers on the manifest and just start trying to find a match. A apparently there’s the usual government hold ups. So they were really pleased to finally be able to place a name to a person.” Yuki said nothing.

“The doctors have told me that it’s pretty bad, Eiri. He may recover from the burns, but the scaring is going to be horrific and there’s no guarantee that synthetic skins, or grafts will work. They are also not sure if the internal damage to his organs will rectify itself. The intensity of the heat in the air from the crash that he breathed in, seared his throat, larynx and lungs. It practically boiled most of the other organs in his body.”

Tohma was being extremely blunt, some might even say brutal, but Yuki didn’t mind. He would rather know it all.

“There is also no guarantee that he will even come out of this coma. That’s a very big if, apparently. If he does, they can’t vouch that there wont have been severe brain damage, and with the burns to the face, there is every chance that he will be blind.” Tohma paused in his recitation.

“Anything else?” Yuki asked, not moving.

“No. That’s about it.”

“I see.”

Tohma shifted, walking back to Yuki. “I’ve arranged for you to stay here in the hospital. There’s a room you can use just down the hallway.”

“I’ll stay here.”

“Eiri,” Tohma chided softly. “Don’t be difficult. You can stay in the hospital and you are only a few rooms away. Be happy with that.”

Yuki clenched his teeth, then nodded acceptance. Tohma was right. He was, at least, going to be staying in the hospital. He was still close to Shuichi. He just didn’t want to leave Shuichi’s side for one moment. Not now that he had found him.

“I’ll bring your bag up now. This is Jim’s cell number. You have mine. I don’t know where we’ll be staying but Jim said it wont be too far away. So call me if you need anything.”

“Fine.”

Tohma disappeared, only to return not long after. “Your bag is in the room. The hospital staff know where you are. I’m going to leave you now. Okay?”

“Yes.”

Tohma nodded. “All right. I’ll be back in the morning.” He walked to the door and opening it, before turning. “Try to get some sleep yourself, Eiri.” and his stepped outside and was gone.

The days began to slide away. Yuki lived at the hospital and Tohma came every day. Sometimes staying for a number of hours, other times no more than a few minutes. He would take away Yuki’s dirty laundry, returning clean clothes later. Sometimes he would coerce Yuki away from his bedside vigil to get a meal, trying different places located within easy reach of the hospital. Yuki didn’t see Jim, but Tohma assured him that everything was fine, and Jim had simply returned to work.

During this time, Yuki fell into a routine. Sleep, wake up, sit by Shuichi’s bed. He would often talk to Shuichi, talking about the past, talking about the future. He would even sit and read, quite often until he, himself, fell asleep. He intently watched everything the medical staff did to Shuichi. His Shuichi. He hated the thought of anyone else, even medical staff, touching his partner. The doctors would often speak to him, letting him know the progress. Or in this case, the lack of it. It was not encouraging.

“You’ve got to try harder, Shuichi. It’s not like you to just give up. Something like this wouldn’t stop you, you’re too tough. I want to take you home. I want us to go home together, you and me. There’s too many things that both of us want to do. You haven’t yet succeeded in becoming the biggest rock star in the world. Isn’t that your dream? You’ve still got a ways to go yet, so you can’t just give up now.”

Yuki wiped a tear away, looking at the still figure. “You’ve got to get better, Shuichi. You can’t leave me. I wont let you. Not after all this.” The tears continued down his cheeks. He was so tired of crying, but he couldn’t seem to stop.

“I know….I don’t always say the things I should to you. I know I should be able to say them. You deserve to hear them, but I’m a coward. Scared to show you just how much you mean to me, how much I need you. I don’t know what to do without you. My life seems so…..empty. There’s this big hole in it, a hole that only you can fill. Do you know how much you mean to me? Even though I don’t say it, maybe don’t even show it enough, but do you know? Do you, Shuichi? I need to ask you that. You have to tell me if you do. If you don’t, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I promise that from now on, I will tell you how much you mean to me, and I’ll show you too. So you wont ever have to worry, or doubt again. You’re the most important thing in my life, Shuichi. The only important thing. Without you…I’m nothing.”

He was crying hard now, dropping his head into his hands, sobbing. How he needed Shuichi back!

The days moved to weeks, drifting together into an endless stream. Tohma sat on the end of the bed and watched as Yuki dressed in fresh clothes after his shower.

“It’s hard to believe that eight weeks have gone by.”

“Hmm.” was Yuki’s response, and he raked his fingers through his damp hair.

Tohma noticed how much thinner Yuki had become. He continued speaking. “I still haven’t told anyone else yet. I’ve told Mika, of course. She was almost frantic with worry, but I’ve asked her to keep it to herself. Even from Tatsuha. They can’t do anything, so I don’t believe there’s any point worrying them further. Once Shuichi is able to be moved, we can get him home.”

“Hhmmm.”

“Ready?”

Yuki’s answer was to walk towards the door. Tohma stood and followed him out to the corridor.

“Another died early this morning.” Tohma said quietly, as they walked side by side. He noticed Yuki’s step falter a little before he gained his stride again. He was referring to another of the survivors. Over the past eight weeks, three of the original survivors had died due to the severity of their injuries and complications arising later. The doctors had indicated that two would pull through, though not unscathed. The others…well, the prognosis was not looking good. He didn’t say all this to Yuki. It accomplished nothing if he told him.

Suddenly an alarm resounded loudly, startling them both. They were familiar with this sound, they had heard it too many times. There was a rush of feet, the clanking of trolleys moving at high speed and an entourage of white coated doctors flew down the corridor towards them like great birds of prey. They disappeared into a room as quickly as they had appeared.

Tohma and Yuki still stood where they had stopped.

“No…” Tohma heard Yuki say softly. He looked over at him and was shocked to see Yuki’s face completely dead white, eye wide and staring down the corridor. Suddenly Yuki set off at a run, a sprint that carried him the remaining distance to the door where the medical staff had entered, Tohma at his heels. He slammed the door open and froze at the tableau before him.

People were crowded around the bed, pushing buttons on monitors, pulling at tubes.

“Get him out of here!” one of the doctors shouted, before turning back to his patient.

Yuki could see the monitor readings going crazy. No, his mind was screaming, no….no…..no. A nurse had grabbed his arm and was trying to lead him out, but he easily brushed her aside, with little thought.

“I said get him out!!”

This time two burly orderlies left their posts and grabbed an arm each, dragging Yuki backwards. He began to fight them, struggling.

“No!! NO!!!” it was all he could scream at them as he was forcibly dragged from the room.

The door was slammed in his face as soon as he was pushed into the corridor. He heard the click of the lock and slammed a fist against it in rage. He immediately turned to the long glass window, pressing his hands against it, face a mere few inches away as he watched what was happening inside. His guts were churning, in anger, in fear. His hands clenched into fists.

“No,” he whispered, begging in his mind, pleading to any deity that would listen. “Come on, Shuichi. Come on. You can do it. Just keep trying. I’m still here. I haven’t left you. Don’t you leave me!”

The activity in the room seemed to slow down. There was less of the appearance of franticness, less urgency. Was everything okay now? He continued to pray in his mind.

The doctors stood away, the nurses turned to the equipment. Yuki saw one reach out and the respirator halted its motion midway, and didn’t move again. Icy coldness coursed through his veins.

No, he whispered in his mind.

Nurses were calmly removing the tubes that connected patient to equipment.

No.

The doctors were talking to each other, then one marked something on the bed chart, as the other stepped forward and drew the sheet up entirely covering the body.

“NO!!!” Yuki screamed out, slamming his fists hard against the glass.

All those inside turned, startled by the sound.

Yuki continued to slam his fists into the glass, over and over again. “No! Shuichi!!! Shuichi!!!”

He didn’t feel Tohma clinging to him, trying to hold him back. He continued to pound the glass, screaming out to his partner.

“SHUICHI!!”

Hot tears were flooding down his face. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe!

“SHUICHI!!” he howled, throwing his head back. “YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME!!!” and then with a great gulping sob, he slid down to fall to his knees, hands still weakly hitting the glass as though trying to reach out and grasp that which had already slipped away.


- To Be Continued-