Come What May

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation nor do I make any money from using the characters. I am a part owner of Kyosuke, though.

NC-17

If you have time, please review. Thank you!!

Note: Don’t forget to thank Kri and Ashcat – it’s their story, too. However, I touched this chapter last (again) – so if there are typos – I am to blame.

Also - smut ahead!

Come What May


Chapter 5
Fortress Around Your Heart

Then I went off to fight some battle
That I’d invented inside my head
Away so long for years and years
You probably thought or even wished that I was dead
While the armies are all sleeping
Beneath the tattered flag we’d made
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the mines I’d laid

And if I built this fortress around your heart
Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire
Then let me build a bridge
For I cannot fill the chasm
And let me set the battlements on fire

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I spent a mostly sleepless night in a bed that felt too big. The night was made more unbearable by the thought I would be sleeping alone for months while Shuichi was on his upcoming tour—with the dreaded Inoue.

Rolling onto my back, I stared at the ceiling. How tempting was Inoue for Shuichi? Did Shuichi dream of him? Or were there other people he dreamed of? When Shuichi had been in London without me, he had told me through email he still thought of Inoue. What would happen once the loneliness started to get to him? Would he stray? Could I trust him to stay faithful?

And Inoue… that sneaky, smarmy bastard. I wouldn’t put it past Inoue to try and get into Shuichi’s pants in spite of the fact the man already had two boyfriends. I supposed Fujisaki and Nakano might attempt to keep Inoue and Shuichi in line, but then again, they might cave to their alpha-male’s wishes and let Inoue have his way. And there was no way I was trusting Nakano where Shuichi was concerned. For all I knew, Inoue and Nakano might work together in order to woo Shuichi into their bed.

It was possible Fujisaki might turn out to be an ally. He might dig his heels in about Shuichi. I’d seen his jealous exasperation mirror my own over Inoue’s obvious and inappropriate leering at my lover.

It almost seemed as if I expected Shuichi to give in and fall into Inoue’s arms. When I reflected on my own thoughts, I realized I was terrified of exactly that, of Shuichi cheating on me. It was a dark and ugly feeling and it burrowed in and ate at me. Perhaps it was more Karma paying me a visit, after all, wasn’t this the feeling that Shuichi had lived with for so long? No wonder he had been so possessive of me. I had always found his reactions over the top – but now I could understand his recklessness.

It made me recognize what I had lost and that knowledge hurt with a keen intensity.

In addition to the threat of Inoue, I couldn’t allow myself to forget about the absolute wild card of Sakuma Ryuichi. Who knew what kind of tricks were swirling around in that nutbar’s brain? Sure, he had my brother to torment, but what would happen when the manic-depressive grew tired of Tatsuha? I could see him trying to get Tatsuha and Shuichi together for his own amusement. That might get a little messy.

Nakano. Sakuma. Inoue.

Shuichi had slept with all of them. I had a right to be concerned about him being with those three nonstop for months. Boredom and loneliness can drive people into interesting situations. If there were already an attraction, it would be easy enough to fall prey.

Was it was one of those three he had dreamed about the previous morning? Moaning sensuously and writhing in his sleep. At first I thought he was having a nightmare, but I knew those particular sounds. Not to mention his obvious erection, although he had attempted to hide it.

Who had he been dreaming of? He had been so disturbed when I woke him, it was possible he dreamt about someone he wouldn’t normally consider. I’ve had dreams like that. Having sex or almost having sex with someone I had never been attracted to. Hell, I had even dreamed about having sex with Tatsuha. Sometimes the subconscious can really mind-fuck a person.

Although I was curious about his dream, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know all the gory details. Gods, what if it had been K he had been dreaming about? Or Sakano? Or Tohma?

And then, after I had woken him, he had been cagey and defensive all day. The dream must have left a lasting impression on him.

I heard the door open.

“Eiri, I’m going to the Dojo. I’ll be back later to go for therapy.” The door closed.

Sitting up I reached for my cigarettes and lit up. He was still mad at me. I thought about it – I was still mad at him as well.

Hmm. Therapy would be interesting.

Therapy - Day 2

The room was bare of everything except the couch, two chairs, and a small table. At the moment, the Doctor stood at the back of the room, holding the pitcher of ice water he had placed on the table earlier.

How had the situation deteriorated so fast? The two were angry when they had first entered the room. Doctor Umeoka had attempted to start today’s session by gaining information about the interaction with each other’s families. Their anger had very quickly escalated into this… brawl. Apparently and completely by accident, he had struck on exactly what the two were displeased about. The Doctor had caught the words “whoring brother” and “stick-up-the-ass father” so at the moment, it appeared Shindou-san was not welcome in Uesugi-san’s family home. Until he could get the entire story, the therapist was not willing to make an assessment on the family dynamics.

The two men continued to roll around on the floor, each of them trying their best to get the upper hand. The Doctor was surprised that Uesugi-san had not yet gained control of the more volatile Shindou-san, but the decidedly smaller man had an enormous amount of pluck and would not be subdued easily.

As the Doctor observed more closely he realized Uesugi-san was going easy on the violence, he was almost gentle as he attempted to grip his lover’s hands and hold them still. He repeatedly avoided pining the singer to the floor. The Doctor filed away the curious behavior for possible future discussion.

Clearly, Shindou-san was not nearly as inclined to be so nice. Also of note, the Doctor recognized a wild fear in Shindou-san’s eyes each time Uesugi-san gained the upper hand.

What had happened to Shindou-san in the past to cause him to fear this treatment so vehemently? Was it the sexual assault mentioned sketchily in the records or perhaps his fear related directly to Uesugi-san?

“That’s enough, gentlemen. I will throw ice-water on the two of you if you do not cease your violence,” the doctor said with a sigh. Throwing ice water on clients was not a usual mode of treatment for him, but with the two fighting on the floor it appeared as if it might be the only way to gain their attention.

The struggle slowed and Eiri hissed, “Stop fighting, you fool. I don’t want to spend an afternoon in wet clothes.”

“I’ll stop if you’ll stop,” Shuichi bargained.

“Gentlemen?”

Eiri released his hold on Shuichi’s wrists. Shuichi was still struggling to get free and to gain the upper hand on his boyfriend. Eiri’s sudden surrender allowed the momentum of Shuichi’s flailing arms to go unchecked. The result was one blond-hair novelist taking a wild fist on the chin.

Shuichi looked horrified, “Oh! Eiri, are you all right?”

“That’s it! I’ve had enough,” Eiri huffed with the recent exertions as he stood and marched toward the door, rubbing his chin.

“Are you running away?” Shuichi called after him as he tried to catch his breath.

Pausing with his hand on the door, his back to his lover, Eiri replied, “Yes. I’ve realized I can’t do this by myself. I’ve had enough.”

“It’s only been two sessions!” Shuichi shouted and his voice cracked. “You said you wouldn’t leave! Were you lying to me again?”

Shindou-san’s sudden outburst of tears surprised the Doctor as the fear of abandonment surfaced abruptly in the young man.

“Uesugi-san, I’m not sure that leaving now would be beneficial. Please look at your partner.”

Eiri turned and stared at his weeping lover. Weeping. These days, it was a rare sight to see Shuichi break down like this, but somehow Eiri could still trigger his lover’s tears. Guilt washed over the novelist and before he knew what he was doing he was sitting on the floor holding the sobbing Shuichi.

“Don’t leave me, Eiri. Not again. Don’t let me turn into that monster again.”

Doctor Umeoka had a sudden confirmation of his initial assessment of Shindou-san. Clearly, after all he had been through, the singer remained hopelessly dependent on Uesugi-san. Ah, a breakthrough and something new to work on. Although, the therapist thought it was likely Uesugi-san was equally dependent on Shindou-san.

“Shindou-san,” the doctor began but Eiri quickly interrupted him.

“Shut up, you quack!” The author snapped. “Give him a minute.”

The doctor noted Usegui-san’s protectiveness. The couple before him was so unusual. Usegui-san held Shindou-san gently, pulling him close and comforting the smaller man as the sobbing quieted. It was hard to believe only seconds ago the two had been attempting to injure one another in a physical fight.

After a few moments, the Doctor tried again, “Shindou-san, I think it would be beneficial for you to pursue individual therapy as well as couples therapy. Are you open to the idea?”

“You mean, without Eiri?” he asked as he rubbed away the last of the tears from his eyes.

The doctor observed that it was now Uesugi-san registering the fear, as he said, “No. I don’t want him going alone.”

“I do not feel that this decision is yours to make, Uesugi-san,” the doctor said patiently. “Shindou-san has some challenges he must face that do not involve you. You have your own therapist you may want to consult, Uesugi-san.”

“No,” Eiri said again.

“Eiri,” Shuichi said quietly. “I think the doctor is right. I do have some things that I need to deal with alone. All that stuff I went through while you were gone… I need to talk about that, and I’m not sure I’m ready to tell you about it.”

“Uesugi-san,” the doctor said quietly, “What is it you fear about Shindou-san attending therapy without you?”

“Nothing,” Eiri said sharply.

Shuichi tipped his head back and studied his lover, “You do fear something, don’t you?”

“Don’t be an id… don’t be a dum… ” Eiri struggled with how to respond. Finally he settled on, “No, I don’t.”

The singer was momentarily speechless but quickly overcame his astonishment as he said softly, “You do. What is it, Eiri?”

The author glared.

“Are you afraid that the therapist will tell me to leave you?”

Eiri was silent.

“Eiri?” Shuichi said softer yet as he moved closer.

“Shindou-san, I do not feel that Uesugi-san is ready to discuss this,” the doctor said quietly. “We can talk about it again later.”

“But by then I may already be going to therapy on my own. I don’t want to do that if it makes Eiri afraid,” the singer protested.

“I am not afraid,” Eiri snapped. “So just shut up about it. Do what you want.”

“No!” Shuichi said, as he encircled Eiri’s neck with his arms and kissed his lover deeply. Once Shuichi broke the kiss he moved his hand to caress his lover’s cheek, the other occupant in the room completely forgotten. “I won’t leave you, Eiri. But I’m really scared of things you might find out about me that would make you want to leave me.”

Eiri relaxed and leaned his head forward so their foreheads touched, “I won’t.”

“You can’t make that promise, Eiri. Not until you hear. I need to be able to tell you, but I can’t.”

Shaking his head, Eiri said softly, “I don’t want to know. I don’t need to know.”

“I know you don’t,” Shuichi said as the tears threatened to begin again. “But if I don’t tell you, I’ll live in fear for the rest of my life.”

Exhaling, Eiri said, “At some point the therapist will force us to talk about it anyway. So maybe you’re right.”

“I won’t leave you, Eiri,” Shuichi said as he continued caressing his lover’s cheek. His voice dropped low, “I promise, I won’t leave you.”

Eiri leaned in and kissed Shuichi. So much anger over the last day melted away with the kiss and Eiri felt his body react. Holding Shuichi and moving forward Eiri gently pushed the smaller man onto his back as the kiss deepened.

Shuichi’s fingers tangled in his lover’s hair as he moaned softly, feeling the reassuring weight of his boyfriend on top of him. He needed more. He was sure Eiri did, too.

The Doctor shakily set the pitcher of ice water back on the table. He had not expected the two to reconcile so quickly or so… passionately. Perhaps they had forgotten the therapist was in the room. He quickly cleared his throat, “Gentlemen? Should we continue?”

Eiri stood suddenly and helped Shuichi to his feet, “Not today.”

“But…”

Shuichi shook his head, “Not today. We need to go home right now.”

The therapist watched with hidden amusement as the two exited the therapy room. Trying to kill each other one minute and locked in an erotic embrace the next while declaring their undying love. Saying the two had a rocky relationship was an understatement.


*********************

I was driving like an absolute maniac, even for me. I couldn’t help it. Two days. It had been two days since I had touched him and tasted him. First the stupid migraine and then our stupid fight. I had gotten used to having sex with him everyday. Fuck, when he left for the tour, I had no doubt I would be climbing the walls for a while.

But I didn’t want to think about his imminent departure at the moment. Right now, make-up sex was on the agenda. I couldn’t tell if I wanted the brutal, animal sex or the sweet, lingering, take-my-time sex. No, I wanted the animal sex. Didn’t I? Maybe we could…

“Eiri?”

“Yeah?” I answered; my voice was thick with need.

“Could you… let me…”

He didn’t finish. My mind raced with the thread, let him what? Have me? Not today. At least not first.

“What?” I asked trying to keep the irritation from my voice.

He sighed and looked out the window before he asked, “I just want to be able to see your face.”

I stole a quick glance at him. His posture told me there was some fear bubbling below his seemingly tough exterior. I’m not a fool and I understood he was brooding over something that would likely hurt us both when it came out. But over the years, I had become a master of denial when emotional pain was involved, so my continued ignorance was simple enough for me. I could easily file this potential problem on a back burner until Shuichi was ready to deal with it. Or, more likely, when the two of us were forced to deal with it.

We would get through it when the fall out happened. I hoped.

I realized I hadn’t responded to his request. “Okay.”

He turned his head back to me, “What?”

“I said ‘okay.’ We’ll work it out so we face each other. So you can see me.” I shrugged before I continued, “That’s the way we normally do it anyway.”

“I know. It’s just, I want…” He didn’t say anything more but his eyes were wide, pupils completely dilated with lust and – what was that other emotion he was exuding? Was it fear or need? Yes, it was need, other than the lustful kind. Maybe brutal, animal sex would not be appropriate today.

Nodding my head I glanced over at him again and said, “Okay.”

His shoulders relaxed. He had asked this of me once before, and that had also been after a fight. It must be his way of working through his insecurities. All right, sweet and slow it would be.

That is, if I could keep myself under control. Control was a dicey proposition for me at the moment. I wasn’t worried about making it last, I knew I could do that. Right now, I was more worried about being too rough with him.

He needed sweet, not animal.

I exhaled as I twisted the wheel and drove into our apartment complex parking area. By the time I parked the car and the two of us got out, I had made a decision. I would let Shuichi take the lead, let him tell me what he needed.

As we made our way to the elevator, I took his hand, threading our fingers together. He looked at me with total surprise but did not comment. Like me, at the moment he feared words. Words might bring destruction down on our truce.

Once the elevator doors closed, I leaned forward and kissed him, holding the animal at bay. My lips touching his with gentle, feathery touches. His tongue darted out and licked at my lips, seeking entrance. I let him in and the kiss became more passionate. I held him, but waited patiently for him to take the lead, for his reaction.

He broke the kiss and pressed against me, but did not grind. Looking down, I met his violet stare. I could see the confusion and insecurity lurking in there.

“Your pace,” I answered his unasked question as I brushed at his hair.

Grabbing my hand, he kissed the back of it and then stared into my eyes again, “I love you.”

“Me, too,” I managed to answer.

When the elevator pinged, I allowed him to lead me inside my apartment and into the bedroom. I took off my jacket but he stopped me from going any further as he stepped close and began unbuttoning my shirt. “Let me, Eiri.”

I loved it when he undressed me. There was something so sensual in his gestures when he removed my clothing. Maybe it was the music in his head making his movements smooth and graceful, but I liked to believe it was his love for me.

Pushing the shirt off my shoulders and tossing it aside, he moved his full concentration to my pants. Kneeling in front of me, my belt was quickly unbuckled and the button on my pants undone. He leaned his face closer and lifted the tab to my zipper with his tongue, clamping his teeth on it. And then, as if we were filming a porn movie, he actually unzipped my pants with his teeth.

If it hadn’t been so hot, I would have laughed.

My slacks were now completely open and they slid off my hips and pooled around my ankles. His hands slid under the waistband of my boxers and he carefully removed those as well. I stepped out of the clothing and waited for him to tell me what he wanted next.

He looked at me shyly, a blush on his cheeks. “Um, could you get on the bed? On your back?”

I did so. I watched him as he disrobed.

When he got onto the bed with me, he moved between my legs. “Hey…” I began but he anticipated my protest and cut me off.

“Will you relax, Eiri? I’m not asking to be on top.” He said as his head dipped and I felt him lick at my hipbone.

Well. Okay, then.

His tongue swirled against my skin, making random patterns as it moved closer to my erection. I fought the urge to grab his head and ram myself down his throat. I fought the urge to switch our positions and ram myself into his tight ass. Instead, I tangled my fingers in the bedding and moaned, letting my hips raise a little to let him know what I wanted.

That tongue – that talented tongue. I didn’t like to think about the fact that, in our time apart, his skill with his tongue had improved. If I thought about it, I would have the unhappy result of imagining him with other people. I pushed those dark thoughts away and concentrated on the here and now and his tongue lapping at me. He had never given great blowjobs before, but now they were… passable. I would let him indulge himself for a while.

He pushed at my knees, raising them so my feet were flat on the bed and wide apart as he licked at my sac, and sucked gently at my balls. I moaned again as his tongue touched the sensitive strip of flesh just a bit lower.

“Shuichi…” I hissed with the sensation.

He stopped long enough to say, “Please, Eiri, let me.”

“Wh… what?” I managed to ask as I felt his fingers on my ass, spreading me open. “Wait…”

My eyes snapped open in surprise as his tongue touched me and I felt as if the air had been sucked out of my lungs. I was confused. I thought he wanted to see me, but… I guess this was okay, too. With each stroke of his tongue, I felt open and vulnerable to him, but I also felt something else. It was building slowly inside me, swelling with every lick. It wasn’t lust or want, although there were those feelings as well, it was my realization of his surrender.

When we were in London and I had done this very same act to Shuichi, my intention had been to prove my love by giving myself up. Was Shuichi doing the same for me?

His tongue stabbed into me and I groaned with the sensation. It was a wild feeling, intensely intimate, somehow forming a bond of understanding between us. I could feel the love and pain radiating from him as well as his need for forgiveness and his need to be… possessed.

The animal roared to life inside me and I caught his head and sat up.

“Eiri?” He said with some confusion as he stared at me. “I’m sorry, I thought you would like that.”

“I do,” I growled as I moved so I could lay him down on his back. I was somewhat forceful, but I was trying my best to keep a handle on the fire of desire burning inside me. He needed gentle. Grabbing for the lube, I tried chanting that sentiment in my head.

My shaking fingers managed to open the bottle and I spilled a little but no matter. I settled myself between his spread legs and touched his entrance with a finger slippery with lubricant. Once I slid the tip of my finger in, I looked up and into his eyes. With every second, my control was weakening and I was worried about scaring him if I got too rough. It was important to be sure he wanted me and important he knew I wanted him and wasn’t trying to hurt him.

I slipped my middle finger all the way in and watched his eyes close with pleasure. “Eiri,” he whispered. “Love me. Please.”

My throat tightened and the beast inside me snarled for release. I slid one finger out and two in. His back arched and he called my name again as I tried to be gentle. And I watched him, so when his eyes opened he could see it was me touching him and making him writhe.

Me.

Shuichi was mine. No one, not Inoue, not Nakano, not whoever he had the dream about could have him. He was mine. Mine.

I turned my wrist and he whimpered, “Eiri, please! Make me… ooh!” I caressed his prostate as he moaned and thrashed beneath me.

“Shuichi,” I said sternly as I moved my fingers apart and stretched him out, “open your eyes.” He obeyed, his irises a dark purple with need.

I pulled my fingers from him and sat back. “What do you want?” This wasn’t our normal game, in fact this wasn’t a game at all. This was about what we needed. Both of us.

“I… Eiri,” his eyes began to tear.

Leaning forward, I touched his hair and brought my face close to his, licking at his tears. I whispered, “Tell me. What do you need?”

“Please, Eiri,” there were a couple more tears now. The look that accompanied the tears was a look of sorrow and guilt, of broken promises and fear and finally of hope. He grabbed at my shoulders before he choked out, “Please. I need you to make me yours. Please…”

My mouth came down on his in a brutal, bruising kiss as the restraints snapped and the animal screamed with freedom. I fumbled for the lube, hoping I could keep myself in line long enough to apply it. I opened the bottle as I continued kissing him, spilling the entire bottle in the process. I finally managed to coat my erection and sat back once again.

I grabbed his left ankle and threw it to my shoulder as I leaned forward to brace myself on my right hand. My left hand guided my aching erection to his entrance. Once I positioned the tip of my cock inside him, I slipped my arm under his right knee and pushed it to his chest. I met his wide-eyed stare, somehow managing to keep the beast in control so I could give him a small warning of things to come. “Hang on.”

He screamed as I slammed completely into him and the beast answered with a possessive roar. Tight, hot slickness enveloped me and my vision blurred with the sensation. This wasn’t gentle. This wasn’t sweet. This was now about claiming him, marking him, making him mine. I bit his neck, hard enough to bruise him and I felt his fingernails sink into the skin on my back. I wasn’t sure if I was hurting him or not.

“Sorry,” I panted as I backed out of him and plunged in again.

It was fucking heaven.

He whimpered with the rough treatment. “Sorry,” I said again, but I did not stop, I couldn’t have if I wanted to.

His nails dug in deeper and scraped across my back, fueling my passion all the more. The synapses in my brain began misfiring and my whole focus in life became the fucking of Shuichi. Fucking him and making him know I was the one fucking him. I loosened my teeth from his neck and moved my face close to his so I could see eyes. They were closed. Growling at him, “Look at me.”

When he opened his eyes I said, “Who is fucking you?”

He looked at me with confusion, “You are…”

“No,” I shook my head as I rocked into him, burying myself as deeply as I could. With my free hand I stroked his cock with my lubed up fingers.

He panted and his eyes rolled with pleasure and closed again as I continued my onslaught.

“Shuichi,” I demanded with a hiss.

His eyes snapped open and met mine again. The moisture from his tears had gathered in his eyelashes, making them sparkle. I saw understanding take root in him. “Eiri. It’s you, Eiri, fucking me.”

I exhaled as I pounded into him.

His breath hitched but his eyes stayed locked on mine as he said, “You are the only one I’ve ever wanted, Eiri.”

He knew what I needed to hear. I felt the last shreds of my humanity break free with his words, flying loose like a piece of fabric caught in the wind as I renewed the pace of my pummeling.

“Eiri! Ahh!” He cried out as his back arched and I felt the warmth of his cum as it splashed us both. “Only you… Eiri!” he shouted with his release.

“Yes,” I groaned in answer.

He gasped as I continued to thrust into him. “I won’t leave you.”

My toes were curling and I could feel the nerve endings contracting. I was glad I had somehow managed to wait him out; today would be exceedingly quick for me. I leaned forward, both hands supporting my movements now as I pushed deeper inside him.

“I love you, Eiri. Only you,” he whispered as his eyes delved deep into my own.

Scalping tingling, body singing, I slammed into him a few times more before I felt the orgasm blossoming inside me like a fireworks display – collapsing inward first followed by the rapid expansion and explosion.

I flopped down to the side of him and onto my back, letting my breathing regulate. As my head cleared, other sensations came to me. My back hurt in a few spots. I had a metallic taste in my mouth. It tasted like…

Rolling on to my side I raised myself to my elbow as I studied Shuichi’s neck. I had drawn blood all right. I touched near the wound before I said, “I’ll need to see to that.”

He smiled, “Yes you will. Just as I will need to see to your back.”

I blinked at him, “My back?”

Holding up his hands I could see the blood speckled under his fingernails. I almost smiled before I said, “Huh. You haven’t broken the skin in a while.”

His smile widened, “Neither have you.”

I touched his hair, “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Shaking his head he said, “Hardly. I feel great.”

“Huh,” I relaxed. I felt pretty good, too.

“Although, I’m not sure Dr. Umeoka would understand.” He grimaced as he gently touched my bruised chin, “We kind of made a scene in there, didn’t we?”

I shrugged, “He was bound to see it sooner or later, might as well let him know what he’s up against.”

“And Tohma and Mika. We made a mess of that, too.”

I remained silent. Any discussion of our disastrous evening with Mika and Tohma might reignite our anger. Look what had happened in the therapist’s office.

He moved closer to me, placing his head on my chest and I put my arm around him.

After a moment of silence he said quietly, “Eiri?”

“Hmm?”

“Will it really bother you if I go to therapy alone?”

I continued my silence as I thought about it. I was afraid that his therapist would tell him to leave me. Why wouldn’t they? I would say the same thing.

He stroked my skin, “After everything you and I have been through, Eiri, do you seriously think I would listen to anyone about staying away from you? You should know me better than that. Besides, we don’t know for sure what the therapist would say.”

Sometimes he could be irritatingly intuitive. And, if forced to be completely honest with him and myself, he needed some one-on-one therapy.

“Eiri?” he said softly. “I need you to be okay with this.”

“I need to smoke,” I answered as I sat up and reached for my cigarettes.

Sitting up next to me, he grabbed my head, holding me still and staring into my eyes. “This is important, Eiri. I need to do this and you know it. And I need you to try being okay with it. I know you’re scar… I mean, I know you are unconvinced it will help us, but I think it will.”

His eyes were clear and filled with determination. I knew this look and I knew I had already lost the battle. “No promises,” I grumbled in answer.

He smiled, “I think that means you’ll try. Thanks, Eiri. It means a lot to me.”

“Let me smoke,” I snarled.

Releasing me he chuckled as he lay back down. “The sheets are a mess. Did you spill the lube? I’m all slippery.”

His skin was shiny with the excess lube. The stuff covered me as well. I lit a cigarette and leaned back, not quite sitting up right and not laying down as I pondered our slick skin coming in contact again. I was fairly sure this time there would be no blood drawn, as the beast inside me lay quietly sated for the moment. I determined the sheets to be a lost cause.

“Eiri?”

“Hmm,” I answered as I contemplated what we could do with all that lube.

“I checked into the yoga thing. We can start next week. It won’t give me much time, but I can learn some basic stuff to practice while I’m on tour. There’s all kinds of levels and stuff.”

“Hmm.”

“Eiri?”

“Hn.”

“Do you still have your ring?” He asked softly.

“What?” I replied as I took a drag, feeling the welcome calm of the nicotine as it entered my blood.

“Remember the rings we used to have? The matching ones you bought us. Do you still have yours?”

Of course I remembered them. “Yeah.”

He was suddenly quiet. I looked over at him. He had turned his head away, but I was sure he was crying again. “Hey,” I said as I exhaled, watching the smoke curl. “What’s going on?”

“I… I don’t have mine anymore.” His voice cracked and he said again, “I don’t have mine. I’m sorry, Eiri. After the last time I talked to you when you were in New York, I… fuck, Eiri, I threw it in the bay. I’m sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry?” I asked and took another drag. With my free hand I reached out and drew random designs on his lube-covered arm. “You had a right to be angry with me. I probably would have done the same thing.”

“I know,” he answered with a sniffle. “But you gave the ring to me. It meant so much to me.”

“Well, don’t cry about it, you idiot,” I said quietly. Although I had to admit I was secretly pleased with his tears. He didn’t cry easily anymore, so I was impressed to see so many tears in one day. And I had wondered what he had done with his ring but had been afraid to ask. “Of all the problems we have, this one is easy enough to fix. We’ll get new ones.”

“But, I’m not sure it would feel the same.” He said between sniffles.

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Geez Eiri, do you have a romantic bone in your body?” He asked accusingly.

“Well, I’m not diving to the bottom of Tokyo Bay to look for some stupid ring, if that’s what you mean.” I sighed as I put out my cigarette. It was time to dig deep for some sappy words again. “We are starting over. So we’ll have something new to symbolize that.”

“You think?” he said although he sounded unconvinced.

“Sure,’ I answered with an indifferent shrug. Personally, I wanted to get us a new set before he went on tour, something to mark him as taken. “Maybe tomorrow we can go look together.”

“You mean it?”

I glared at him.

He sat up far enough so he could kiss me. “Thanks, Eiri. I felt so bad about it and I was really afraid to tell you. I was certain you’d be angry.”

Hmm. A new question formed in my brain. “Is that why you have the new necklace with my name on it? Because you felt guilty about the ring?”

Laughing lightly as he lay down next to me again he said, “No. Well, maybe a little. I threw all the necklaces, bracelet, anklets, ear-cuffs, belly chains and anything else that had your name on them into the bay as well. It left me virtually accessory free for a while. I was pretty mad at you, Eiri.”

“Huh,” I answered softly. “Where did you get the necklace?”

“You mean the one that says ‘Eiri’ in English?”

“Yeah.”

He looked at me questioningly.

“That nutbar Sakuma sent me a digital recording of you singing at some club. You were wearing it.” I explained how I knew of his necklace.

Smiling he said, “I never know what is on Ryuichi’s mind. Although, I suppose that’s a good thing. I saw him with the camera that night, but I had no idea he was planning to send the recording to you. He can be very cunning.”

“I think insane is the word you are looking for,” I muttered.

“Eiri, I never… not with Ryuichi. There were lots of rumors and speculation, and we did hang out together for a while, but we never…” He shrugged before finishing, “You know.”

Hmm. He was spilling over with confessions, wasn’t he? I filed the information but chose to ignore any further discussion of it. I found I was beginning to fear what he hadn’t told me yet.

“So you got the necklace in England?” I asked so I could divert the subject away from Sakuma. I decided I would gently encourage him to get more jewelry with my name on it. Maybe I could even talk him into a tattoo of ‘Eiri’. His ass would be the preferable placement of my name. Hmm.

He seemed relieved at my choice for ignorance as he answered, “Yeah. Miki knew a really cool shop that makes jewelry. I got a few things made there. When I get back to London, I’ll have them make some more stuff for me. Including new belly button adornments.”

“Speaking of which, how much longer until that’s healed?” I growled.

Giggling he said, “I know it’s killing you to not touch it but it will be healed in another month or so.”

“A month?”

“Yes, Eiri. We have this conversation every day!”

“Maybe you should take it out. It’s hard to remember not to bump it,” I grumbled my frustration.

He sat up and straddled me, our slick skin sliding lusciously against one another. He took my hand and brought it to his naval. “See? It’s healing. You can touch it gently now.”

I bit back a groan as I felt my erection returning.

Grinning at me he said, “I think you like it. I think you can’t wait to tug on it. Just like my nipple ring.”

“Not really,” I lied to him as I moved my hand to his nipple ring and pulled on it. “I think we shouldn’t let all this lube go to waste.”

“I agree,” he said as he ran his lubed up fingers over my erection. Then he raised himself to his knees, inserted my reawakened cock into his opening, and settled down very slowly.

“Hn,” was my incoherent answer as I felt him slide my cock into his taut passage. Lube already covered my hands so I began stroking his dripping erection. I couldn’t get over how aggressive he was, he had always been so shy before. Maybe him having a bit more experience wasn’t entirely bad.

“Fuck Eiri, you are so big,” he gasped as he lowered himself down again.

Groaning with the sensation, I gripped one of his hips and pushed up. I loved this position, I got to touch him everywhere and watch his face. And I got so incredibly deep inside him it was amazing.

“Eiri, you feel so good.” He moaned loudly as he twisted his hips, driving my cock into him further. “Do you like it?”

What a stupid thing for him to say. My sarcasm slipped out as I said, “I like that you are doing all the work for a change.”

He laughed as he grabbed my hand for additional support. “I’m always up for doing ‘all the work’ but you are so fastidious about it.”

“Ng,” I groaned with intense pleasure as he came down hard. “Where did you learn the word ‘fastidious’? Do you even know what it means?”

“Quit trying to avoid the subject,” he panted at me. “You just fear me being on top.”

“I don’t fear it. I like what I like.” That was true. Shuichi having a go at me occasionally was okay, but I did prefer being on top.

“Control freak,” he said with a moan and a smile.

“Don’t give me that,” I said as I lifted my hips and got the cry of pleasure I was hoping for. “You like having my cock up your ass.”

“Yes,” he cried out again as I angled for the same spot. Somewhat breathlessly he said, “I love it, actually.”

I watched his eyes slide closed in ecstasy as he rocked on top of me. He was so sexy, so beautiful. I wanted to keep this memory of him, unguarded and emanating pure erotic bliss.

He shifted his feet under him so they were flat on the bed and he placed his hands on my chest as he said, “You may have to help me with this, Eiri.”

He lowered himself down once again only this time my cock went even further in and there was something new about the angle that made the sensation exquisite. I abandoned stroking his erection to grab his slippery hips to help keep him steady. My grip gave me the added bonus of being able to rotate his hips the way I wanted.

“Fuck,” I moaned with the tight constriction and indescribably deep penetration.

“You like that, Eiri?” He gasped as he clasped my arms.

There was something else he had learned, how to say the right thing during sex to effect me. His words made me want to bite him again, but I wasn’t close enough.

“You like it when I ride you, don’t you, Eiri?” he said with a knowing smirk.

What a sensuously tempting brat. I tried to glare at him, but I think all I could muster was a look of lust as he raised and lowered himself again and again. He was in remarkably good shape in spite of his recent illness.

“Yeah, I can tell,” he panted again as he leaned back slightly, tweaking the angle again. “You like it.”

“Fuck,” I groaned this time.

“Are you going to come, Eiri?” he asked with a whisper. “I can feel how hard you are. I’m so close myself.”

I twisted his hips again and I felt his passage become even tighter, “Ah! Yes, Eiri right… there!”

He leaned further back, emitting a low feral sound as he came.

The sensations were too much. Deeper, tighter and my lover was coming. How could I hold back anymore? I squeezed his hips and ground into him as felt the shuddering, amazing euphoria of a second orgasm take me.

He collapsed on top of me. After he regained his breath, he moved to the side, letting me slide out of him in the process. “Wow, Eiri. That was unbelievable.”

“Hmm,” I agreed, still too sated to reach for my cigarettes.

“I love you,” he said as he snuggled next to me. I kissed him slowly, softly, trying to tell him I felt the same.

“We have to get up and change the sheets,” I muttered but my eyes were closing.

“Later,” he murmured next to me. “We can do it later.”

“We’ll be sorry.”

“We’ll get over it.”

He had a point. I put my arm around him and closed my eyes again.

We could always fix everything later.

TBC

Lyrics for Fortress Around Your Heart by Sting


Thank you, Maazka for your review! Quite honestly I came to the site today to take this story down instead of adding to it. After posting 4 chapters (75 pages) and receiving only one review, I was convinced the AFF readers did not like this story. Your review changed my mind for today. Thanks again.