Bloody Betrayal

Chapter Five

Shuichi knew where he was before he opened his eyes, the familiar smell of Ryuichi’s place was distinctive. Instead of opening his eyes, he listened to what the others were saying, Yuki was talking, mostly about what he had been up to when Shuichi had left.

Shuichi didn’t know what to think when he heard Yuki had done all that for him. Yuki hadn’t touched any alcohol and had been seeing his psychologist, he even went on vacation, but what shocked him the most was that the man had gone to his father’s temple to meditate.

“I know Shuichi will probably never forgive me, but I’ve been doing all this for him…I want him back, I love him.”

“If you loved him, you wouldn’t have don’t what you did to him-” Hiro hissed.

Shuichi decided to cut their conversation short, he groaned, pretending he was just waking up. He opened his eyes and Hiro and Yuki were by his side in an instant. Even though he was sure Yuki wouldn’t hurt him again, he still flinched at the close proximity of the man.

Yuki saw the flinch and moved away, hurt evident on his face. He couldn’t blame Shuichi for acting this way, but it hurt him more than anything.

“How could you be so stupid Shuichi?” Hiro suddenly shouted.

“Don’t Hiro, you’ll only make it worse.” Tohma said.

Shuichi sent the blonde a grateful look. He then met Yuki’s eyes and wondered if there was a chance that he would trust the enough to give him another chance, because he knew deep down, that was what he wanted.

--

The last week had been really strange for Shuichi. He had stayed in America for his vacation, and Yuki had gone back to Japan. They had had a conversation before he left. Shuichi told the man to let him think about it, and will give him an answer when he returns to Japan himself.

But making the decision was harder than it should have been. He had Hiro and Ryuichi trying to talk him out of it. Especially Hiro, his best friend was constantly telling him he was stupid to be even considering it.

He got so pissed off at his two friends that he literally told them to get lost. He then spent a lot of time by his self, just thinking.

He had thought of nothing else, he had thought so much that his head started to hurt. He kept on going round in circles. But one thing was crystal clear, he wanted to be back with Yuki. He was now thinking if he was brave enough to give the man the chance he was asking for.

Shuichi lay on the bed with his hands in front of his face. The white bandages on his wrists a reminder of his weakness. He knew he would probably have scars, just like the scar on his stomach. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair, something he had picked up recently.

Sitting up suddenly, he nodded. He wanted to go home. He wanted to try again and give Yuki another chance. He didn’t know if he was making the biggest mistake of his life, but if he was…well he would just have to see.

With his mind made up, he started packing his bags. After that was done, he went in search of Hiro and Ryuichi, finding his friends in the kitchen. Hiro looked up and met Shuichi’s eyes. The red head just shook his head. He knew what his friend had decided, he knew Shuichi better than he knew himself.

“Truthfully, I think your making a big mistake, but I’ll support you 100%.”

“Thanks Hiro…I want to go home.”

Hiro just nodded his head and went to pick up the phone, stopping when Ryuichi lay his hand on his arm.

“I think I might come back with you for a while…we can use my jet.” Ryuichi said. He eyed his friend carefully, before sighing.

--

It was 3am when they arrived in Japan. Shuichi was surprised to see Yuki there waiting for him. He collected his bags and went over to the man. Yuki stood looking down at him, his face a mask of hope and longing.

“Hey Shu.” Shuichi looked round to see Hiro and Ryuichi about to get in a cab. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I call you.” Shuichi said, waving to his friends.

Shuichi turned back to Yuki. “Take me home.”

Yuki smiled, a tear slipping down his cheek. Without talking, they got into his car.

Yuki found his heart hammering against his chest, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but he was happy. Just having Shuichi sitting beside him again was enough. When he had returned to Japan, it had felt like his heart had been ripped out, it was screaming for Shuichi.

The last few days had been a nightmare for the blonde, all he wanted to do was fly back to America, but he had promised to give Shuichi time. And now, he hoped Shuichi was giving him another chance. He knew they had things to talk about, but this was a start.

When they got to Yuki’s apartment, Shuichi was nearly asleep. Yuki was uncertain whether to wake the man up or just carry him. But he was saved, Shuichi opened his eyes as the car came to a stop.

He got out of the car, carrying his bags and waited. Yuki locked the car door, and they walked in silence to the elevator. As they stood in the small enclosed space, Yuki felt strange, it was weird seeing the brat so quiet.

Shuichi was having trouble with breathing, as soon as they entered Yuki’s apartment, Shuichi didn’t know if he was making a good decision by being here. He took his shoes off and went to sit on the couch.

Yuki hovered uncertainly, he really didn’t know what to do. Shuichi turned to face him, he too felt uncertain.

“You should get some sleep.” Yuki said.

Shuichi just nodded. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Yuki swallowed a painful lump in his throat, he knew that Shuichi wouldn’t want to sleep in the same bed as him for a while, but it still hurt. Yuki got a pillow and a blanket and put them on the couch. He stood for a moment, wanting to kiss the younger man, but decided against. He walked into his bedroom.

“Good night.” He said as he closed the door.

Shuichi made up his bed, and got undressed. He lay on the couch, and sighed. It was weird being back here, he had thought he would never willingly walk through the front door again, but here he was, laying on the couch.

His eyes wandered to Yuki’s bedroom, wondering if he would ever be brave enough to sleep in the same bed as him. Tears began to fall down his cheeks as he thought of all the things he used to do, but now was too scared too.

Just kissing Yuki on the cheek terrified him, but he would try. He wanted to be happy again. He lifted his hands to his face, once again looking at the bandages. Thinking about it now, he wonders if it was worth it.

Snorting, he closes his eyes. He can’t think anymore, it will end up driving him insane.

--

When Yuki woke up the next afternoon, he showered and dressed, then stood leaning against the wall, watching as Shuichi slept. He hadn’t been able to sleep well, knowing Shuichi was in the apartment. He snapped out of his daze as Shuichi stretched, he went into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee.

He turned when he heard soft footsteps. Shuichi was looking at the wall, a tear falling from his eye. Yuki cringed, he knew Shuichi was probably seeing the time when he had stabbed the younger man.

Shuichi unconsciously ran a hand under his t-shirt. Yuki was able to see the scar, and he closed his eyes. The scar was as bad as he envisioned it. To him, it would always be a reminder of what he had done to Shuichi.

The younger man looked at him, they stood staring at each other, before Yuki slowly walked towards him. Shuichi trembled, but didn’t flinch, or turn away. He leaned into Yuki’s touch as the man cupped his cheek. The feeling so familiar, he didn’t think he would ever forget Yuki’s touch.

Shuichi looked up into Yuki’s face, if they were to have any future, he had to start trying to trust the man, he couldn’t just live in fear. Trying to control his breathing, he licked his suddenly dry lips.

“Kiss me Yuki.” He whispered.

Yuki stood motionless for a moment, hoping he hadn’t just dreamt that. Slowly, he leant down and brushed his lips against Shuichi’s. Just at the lightest touch, Yuki felt his heart flutter at the contact. He had to restrain himself and take this slowly. He slowly swept his tongue along Shuichi’s bottom lip, when the small mouth opened, Yuki slid his tongue into his lovers mouth.

He felt Shuichi’s small hands reach up to wrap around his neck. He could feel the slight tremble of Shuichi’s body, which made him curse himself. He really hoped Shuichi would one day be able to forgive him.

They kissed for a few moments, before breaking apart. Shuichi plucked up the courage and held on to Yuki, the blonde wrapped his arms gently around the younger mans waist, pulling the smaller body against his.

As soon as Shuichi pulled away, he smiled softly. He then walked away, Yuki watched as he went into the bathroom, a moment later he heard the shower turn on.

With a small smile on his face, he began to make breakfast. Maybe there was hope after all. He just hoped he didn’t screw it up this time. He had been thinking of ways to try and get Shuichi to trust him again. He sighed. There was one thing, but to be honest, he didn’t know if he was ready for that.

But…he would for Shuichi, especially after what he had done. With that thought in mind, he continued moving round the kitchen, making Shuichi his favourite, which was pancakes with strawberry syrup.

Breakfast was ready by the time Shuichi finished showering and dressing. Yuki noted that his lover was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt, something Shuichi would never have been seen dead in, he was usually as colourful as a rainbow.

They sat down together, eating in silence, something Yuki was beginning to hate.

“When do you go back to work?” He asked.

“Next week.” Shuichi answered quietly. “What about you?”

Yuki thought for a moment. “I don’t know…I might try next week when your at work.”

Shuichi just nodded his head, but Yuki could see the fear in his lovers eyes. He guessed Shuichi was worried that if he still had writers block, he would once again start drinking and then take his frustration out on him.

“If I’ve still got writers block, I’ll take more time off.” He said, noticing Shuichi relax slightly. “What do you want to do today?” He asked.

Shuichi shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“How about we go see a movie, then go out for lunch?”

“Okay.”

Yuki just nodded, wondering again if Shuichi would ever be his self again, or would he always be the person he is now. With tears in his eyes, he cleared the table and put the dishes in the sink. He didn’t want Shuichi to see him cry.

“I’ll go and get ready.” Shuichi said.

Yuki bent his head, his shoulders shaking slightly as he cried.