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In Err, My Suffering	By : westernink Category: Rurouni Kenshin > General Views: 5774 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
In Err, My Suffering

Part
V of V


Deciding what to do about it was one matter and actually doing it was another,
she discovered.


Aoshi-sama was at the Temple,
where he'd been all morning, and she was at the Aoiya worrying about
it.


If she was going to go talk to him, how would it end up? Would they end
up getting intimate again? Jiya had said they couldn't... but it wasn't
as if the old man could stop them.

She wasn't especially unhappy about it though. She assumed that
Aoshi-sama had gotten the same warning as her.   But if she was going
to do something casual with him, as suggested, what should it be?


Lunch, maybe?


Well, it didn't
sound completely off the wall. As long as he agreed. What if he
looked at her like her face had turned green? But then... why would
he? Lunch was normal.


She decided it was
all about the delivery. She just needed to be casual. She
stood up and headed out. The Temple
was relatively close and Misao was grateful for the fresh air...

Or she would have been were it not stagnant outside. She was sweating by
the time she reached the Temple.
He was not sitting in the middle of the floor in his meditating position as she
expected, but on the front steps, watching her approach.


It was early afternoon. Today was the day. She as going to invite
Aoshi to lunch with her in a nice, casual place. A restaurant! The
Shirobeko was perfect. It was perfectly mainly because it wasn't
the Aoiya.


She didn't want Okina to see her with Aoshi.


"Hello, Aoshi-sama." She smiled and laced her fingers together
behind her back as she tried not to fidget. "How about
lunch?"


For a moment, he merely stared at her as though contemplating where she was
hiding lunch on her person.


"Lunch?"


She nodded. "Right. I thought maybe you would like a break
from routine? A trip to the Shirobeko would be fun, besides have you been
there since you came back?"

"No, I have not," he replied sedately.


She could see the sheen of perspiration on his face, his forehead, and
temples.   "How about we go then?" she asked, her voice
uplifted with a false note of cheerfulness. Her face had that stretched
feeling one developed when their smile was fake.


He stood up and she felt her hopes rise just a tad. "I decline,
thank you."


"Hello!"


"Good afternoon!"


Misao turned to see Omasu and Okon
coming toward them, bundles in their arms.


�Misao! Excellent! I was looking for you.� Okon pulled her
aside and then outside the temple and asked her to do her a favor.
The plan was transparent, the two women wanted to get rid of her and being
stung by Aoshi�s rejection, she just wanted to go.


So she did.


She barely heard Okon�s �favor� she suspected it really didn�t matter anyway.
*
*
*           *

Aoshi watched as Okon stepped back in and noticed that Misao was not with
her. The two women looked at him almost predatorily.


�So, Aoshi-sama, we�d like to have a little chat. We even brought lunch.�


They smiled but he sensed the afternoon would be far from pleasant. He
wondered, briefly, where Misao had disappeared to and if it was his response to
her invitation or Okon�s interference that had somehow sent her away.


He sat himself back down and frowned but said nothing. He didn�t imagine
a tsunami would keep those two from whatever mission they�d taken upon
themselves.


They sat down and began unpacking food. He saw them cast a few glances at
one another as if they were unsure who should begin talking first. It was
Okon who took up the reigns and faced him.


�We want to know what your intentions are for Misao,� she stated bluntly.


�That�s right. She�s� very confused right now. We want to know if
you proposed to her and she said no.�


He paused thinking. Had he proposed? He supposed he had in a sort
of way, it had been an offer.


�She told me that I couldn�t decide what she wanted and that my offer of
marriage wouldn�t give her what she wanted.�


The women both nodded and he thought they looked very strangely proud.
Had they been coaching her or something?


�And what does she want?� Omasu prompted.


He hesitated again. Did he want to discuss this with them? No, but
was he getting anywhere on his own?


Equally, no.


�She doesn�t want me to leave,� he answered. It was the most immediate
thing to come to mind.


�Is that it?� Okon asked. �What do you want from her?�


He narrowed his eyes at Okon. �Nothing. I just want her.�


�Have you told her that?�


�No,� he turned his gaze to the floor. �I cannot.�


�Well, why not?� Omasu asked.


�I can honor her requests of me, but I am not worthy enough to make my own of
her.�


He missed the glance between the two women. �Is that because of your
leaving her? Or because of the fight with Okina? Or because of
whatever happened after the fight with Okina?�


He gasped and it sounded like a hiss. �She told you of that?�


�Not until very recently.� They both frowned at him. �She
was too busy defending you and your state of mind to really tell us
anything. She changed the topic. Did you hurt her then?�


�I always hurt her. I do nothing else,� he replied acidly.


�Then maybe you ought to stop!� Okon growled, her voice rising.
�Tell her! Go up to her and say, �I want to marry you Misao.� That
would be good enough for her! She doesn�t expect flowers and romance from
you, she�ll take anything from you, absolutely anything and you give her
nothing!�


�Misao has lived on a lot of things,
mostly hope. For a long time though she�s been different and we haven�t
been sure why� but the other night when she alluded to you being intimate so
long ago� we understood one thing perfectly. She doesn�t live in hope
anymore, now she just lives in confusion and doubt and its all because of you,
and it always is,� Omasu spoke sedately, her voice and gaze steady.


�I tried,� he answered. �I offered her marriage, she turned me away.�


�No,� Okon interjected. �She didn�t turn you away! LISTEN to
me! Misao said no because she thinks you�re only offering out of some
misguided idea of what you think she wants. She doesn�t trust what she
thinks you want from her, she doesn�t think you LOVE HER!�


�And we know you do,� Omasu picked up, her voice much gentler than that
harsh, accusing growl that Okon was using. �We know you wouldn�t take things
to this degree with Misao if you didn�t love her. Misao loves you
a great deal and you have a complex history, one that has underscored that love
of hers with doubt. She�s unsure she can trust your heart, she doesn�t
think you understand it. Everything she thinks is doubted, she can�t be
sure of it.�


�Is she unsure if she loves me then?� he asked, his voice oddly hollow.


�No.� It was the first time Okon sounded calm once more. �She very
much loves you. You don�t stop loving someone because they hurt you once
or maybe even lots of times and certainly not her.�


They lapsed into silence and passed around food. No one ate much and they
left soon after. Aoshi�s head was a mess.


�She doesn�t think you LOVE HER!�

�We know you
wouldn�t take things to this degree with Misao if you didn�t love her.�

�She�s unsure
she can trust your heart, she doesn�t think you understand it.�

�She very
much loves you.�

Did he love
her? They seemed so certain. What if they were wrong? He
looked away from the window?

Did he love her?

Of course, he
thought. He did� he did love her but they were still wrong. They
thought he wouldn�t do this to her, that he wouldn�t hurt her because he loved
her, but that wasn�t enough.

He�d always hurt
her, he hurt her still�

In the forest, he�d
hurt her. He�d shared his suffering with her and then left her to suffer
alone� he hung his head.

But she still loved
him�

�You don�t stop
loving someone because they hurt you once or maybe even lots of times��

When he got home
then, he would talk to her.   Maybe it would help.
*
*
*

Evening brought him back to the Aoiya and he found dinner was just being set
out. Misao, he noted, was absent. He sat for several long minutes
before looking up at Okina.


�Where is Misao?�


The old man�s eyebrow�s rose as he reached for his rice bowl and
chopsticks. �She said she was tired and would eat a bit later on in the
evening. I saw no reason to deny her that.�


Aoshi could think of no reason to leave the dinner table and so he stayed and
ate. Silence hung over them like a cloud, no one seemed to have anything
to say. In a feeble attempt to rescue them all from the uncomfortable
silence caused by Misao�s absence and Aoshi�s presence, Shiro began talking
about a few of the troublesome customers they�d had earlier in the day.
Aoshi�s mind drifted away, far away from the table.


His mind drifted to a forest of bamboo and pine and a cabin full of blood and
the feel of a girl beneath him.


Suffering alone� had he left her to suffer alone? What, he wondered would
have happened had she become pregnant from that disaster? But he hadn�t
cared then, what would happen if she became pregnant now? He was still
behaving recklessly without thinking of the consequences.


He stood abruptly and the gentle chatter that had settled over the table came
to an abrupt halt.


�Excuse me.�


He turned and quickly left.


Suffering alone�

Irresponsibility�

Pregnancy�

Misao�


He scaled the stairs and knocked on her door impatiently. They needed to
speak now.   She didn�t answer and he didn�t hear her inside so he
pulled open the door. He found her futon mat was spread on the floor and
she was in bed, apparently sleeping.


Should he wake her?


He thought it over a moment, standing very still in her doorway, his palm
pressed to the wood frame.


Yes.


He should.


He stepped fully inside and snapped the door closed behind him. They
needed to resolve it now.


Tonight.


He stalked toward her bed feeling like a hunter. He would not be
distracted by her charms tonight.


Tonight� he held onto the word like a lifeline.


He kneeled down at her bedside and touched her fabric covered shoulder and
shook. He couldn�t bring himself to raise his voice and speak to her
yet. He felt his courage seeping out of him.


�Mmmph,� she moaned and he immediately moved back pulling himself up onto his
feet.   �What is it?� she asked sleepily.


�Misao,� he spoke sternly. �We need to talk.�


�Talk?� she asked groggily. She rolled over and yawned, rubbing her
eyes. She looked young once more and he quickly looked away. He
didn�t want to see her this way.


�Yes. Talk.�


He heard her blankets shift and rumple and he assumed she stood. When she
didn�t say anything he glanced back to see her sitting up, one shoulder of her
yukata slipping.


�What are we talking about?� she asked sleepily.


�Things,� he replied. He needed to tell her. How was he to say
it? What was �it�?


�Marriage,� he stated bluntly. �We need to get married.�


That woke her up quickly. He half turned to watch her climb to her
feet. She seemed a bit shaky. �What?�


He turned fully. �I want to marry you. No thinking about it, no
rejecting. We are getting married.�


She just stared at him, blinking, looking as if she couldn�t believe her eyes
or her ears.


He turned toward her with cold, glinting eyes. �I can spend the rest of my
life atoning to you for what I�ve done, but I will not do it any longer outside
of a marriage.�


She narrowed her eyes at him. �Are you threatening me?� her voice
wasn�t quite a growl but there was an edge to it. He was glad to see she wasn�t
about to cry.


�Threatening?�


�Threatening to leave me if I don�t agree to marry you?� her voice had
hushed to a low whisper. It might have been horror in her voice, it
might�ve been something else.


Would that work? Dare he risk bluffing it? Was it worth anything to
stay here if she said �no�?


He stood before her, stiff and silent. �I am telling you what I
want.�


She gasped.


�I want to marry you, to stay at the Aoiya with you, to have children and live
forever with you. I can�t give you anymore than that.� He felt
frayed around his precious edges. He felt as though he couldn�t explain it, as
if words, no words, were ever good enough. �If my word isn�t good enough
for you, I have nothing else.�


�It's not that your word isn�t good enough �� she started. �I�m just
worried you�ll suddenly decide you�ll leave again and I won�t be able to stop
you.�


Aggravation pooled inside of him. Why couldn�t he convince her? Why
did it always require *more* than he had?


�You were a child then, I could not have taken you.�


She pouted. �I understand that.�


�No.� He whirled toward her having stalked away. �I don�t think you
do. You are more caught up with me trying to protect you as a child than
you are about my taking your innocence away from you?�


She shook her head. �Everyone grows up Aoshi-sama, I wouldn�t have
remained a virgin forever, I�m glad I�m not anymore. I liked doing that
with you, maybe not that particular time, that was a little scary. You�re
a scary man sometimes, you were scary then. You�re only scary now in my
head and that�s okay too, but what happened then can�t happen like that again
with us.�


He grit his teeth together. His jaw muscles were tense. �Why not?�


�Because I�m not a virgin anymore.�


�You think just because you�re no longer chaste that intercourse won�t ever
again be painful for you?�


She shook her head. �No, if you wanted to hurt me, you could, I understand
that. I was thinking, you were a different man then, your eyes were
black, Aoshi-sama, like night. Dark and black and cold. Besides, I
don�t have nightmares about us being together that day, Aoshi-sama, I have
nightmares about you killing me because that�s what you looked like
then.�


He gasped softly, inaudibly, she could see his lips part in surprise.


�I�m not worried you�ll hurt me, you�re not that man anymore and I�m not afraid
of you. Just sometimes when I wake up I feel shaky because it's scary to
see someone you love put a sword through your chest and feel pain when you wake
up, but it doesn�t mean I think it�ll happen and it doesn�t mean I expect it
to.�


He stepped back from her, horrified, appalled.


No�


He hadn�t known that. Hadn�t� kill her?


Never.


Had he looked that way then?


Yes� he knew he had. Death, he�d had eyes of death.


�I do want to marry you, Aoshi-sama. My bad dreams will go away
eventually. If they don�t, does it even matter? It�s not like you
can change that� I can�t even change it. I just want things to settle.�


He backed away and settled onto the floor beside the door. Turning his
head downward, hiding his face in the shadow, he spoke again. �Will you
marry me?�


�Of course. Can I touch you?�


He raised his head, surprised she was again asking him that question.
�Why? Why do you feel you cannot?�


She brought her arms up to hold onto her elbows. �Everything about you
just screams �don�t touch�. I don�t know.� She sighed and sat down on her
futon, pushing away her sheets.


�You can touch me�� he paused. �Anywhere you like.�


She half turned. �Anywhere? You mean like anywhere on your body or
anywhere in the world?�


In the dim light, she could not see the gentle tilt of his lips.
�Both.� Nor could he see her answering smile.


�Well all right then, I�ll take you up on that one.� He didn�t
need to see anything. The smile was in her tone.


Relief.

Ease.

Happiness.

Victory.


�Stop calling me Aoshi-sama.� He stood. �I am not worthy of it.�


He was reaching for the door and had pulled it open a bare inch when her voice
stopped him.


�Aoshi-sama, wait!� She bit her lip. �Oooh, I mean� Sorry� I mean, Aoshi�
That�s weird sounding,� she mused to herself as she scrambled up onto her
feet.


He turned back to her as she walked toward him on bare feet.


�Okay, consider it a deal. I won�t call you Aoshi-sama and I get to touch
you anywhere in any place that I want. So, if the Kyoto police arrest me for public indecency I
expect you to come and get me.�


Reaching for her, he curled his arm around her narrow shoulders. She tilted
her head up toward him while the fingers of his opposite hand traced along her
jawbone. This tiny woman that she was� How was it possible that any one
person could make another person feel so� whole?


How did people go through life incomplete and not know they were incomplete
until they met a person who made them feel� Was there a word? A fullness�
A confidence, a happiness that hadn�t existed outside that person?


He tilted her head a bit more and lowered his mouth to hers, relishing the
softness of her lips. The wetness of her mouth, the warmth of her skin,
the gentle grip of her hands� Why would he want to ever do without it?
The gentle kiss deepened as he slid downward to his knees, pressing his lips
more ardently against hers. He wanted to breathe her in� to taste her
forever, to be never without her flavor against his tongue.


�Misao�� he groaned it against her lips, into her mouth, he hoped into the very
soul of her.


Never� ever� never
forget�

How could there be
so much� so much want simply of that other person? The thing men
loved and fought and died for� lust� love� women� life� Abruptly, he pulled
back from her. Gently, he cradled her head between his hands.



So small, so
delicate�

�I will inform
Okina.�

She nodded absently
and he forced himself onto his feet. He couldn�t, wouldn�t, stay
with her no matter how his body begged for her attention. Okina, he
thought, remember Okina�

No matter how much
he longed to let her touch him until he was so sated he could not drag
himself from her floor, he wouldn�t� He turned toward the door and stepped out.
*
*
*           *

Two weeks past.


Agonizing weeks.


Misao had been grouchy and snappish. Aoshi had been quiet and
withdrawn. It was what no one expected following news of their
betrothal. Okina had been thrilled, all but dancing around the Aoiya and
the others had been happy.


It was the couple that was most unhappy with the arrangement. In
the two weeks since the announcement, they�d both been behaving oddly. If
they noticed the glances of the others, they gave no indication of it.


When Misao stood up moodily and glared, the others turned their gazes into
their rice bowls.


�Aoshi-sama, I want to talk to you,� she demanded. �Upstairs. Right
now.�


Without waiting, she stormed away and her footsteps were easily audible as she
stomped up the wooden stairs toward her room. Everyone was wisely silent
as Aoshi stood and followed after her with none of the anger.
*
*
*           *

He had no sooner stepped into the room than she turned away from the window
she�d been standing beside. She whirled quickly on the ball of her foot
and glared. Her anger filled the room like a sticky summer heat.


�This� is� stupid!�


This?


�Why do we have to do this?� she continued. �What kind of idiot needs a
MONTH to plan a stupid wedding? And even if I do have a wait a MONTH,
Aoshi-sama, why can�t I touch you? You said-�


�I also asked you not to call me that,� he gently interrupted.


She gave him a look and continued on her tirade. �Well it isn�t as
if you�re holding up your end of the deal, remember? Remember that?
Anywhere and anywhere and you�ve been avoiding me like I�ve caught some
ugly disease!�


He shook his head gently. �Misao, please. It is a small request to
wait until we are wed.�


She huffed and crossed her arms. �But I want you to touch me,
Aoshi-sama��


�Don�t�� he replied, his voice.


�I want your hands all over me, Aoshi-sama.�


�Misao-�


�I want to drag you to the floor and crawl in your lap-�


�Misao-�


�I want to strip you out of those clothes and-�

�Misao-�


��and TOUCH you, Aoshi-sama, and I mean it that way this
time.� She stood on her tip toes, curling her hands in the material at
his chest. �I want you in my hands, Aoshi-sama.�


His breath was caught in his lungs, trapped there by the sudden, violent surge
of desire. He wanted to grab her by the wrists, toss her to the floor,
and fuck her� Couldn�t she see that? Did she think she was the only one
frustrated? Did she have to torture him so? To tempt him?


He pushed her away, she stumbled back a pace but no farther.


His cock throbbed painfully.


If she touched him� if she�


He had to leave.


Now.


Now, or he�d take her right here on the floor. Or the bed. Or
against the wall.


Fuck� he�d take her in the hallway.


He was leaving.


Now.


�Go to bed, Misao.�


The order was curt, but she showed no inclination of obeying him.


�Certainly, Aoshi-sama. Come with me.�


Two weeks.


Two weeks of hell.


Another week to go.


�It will be worth it to wait.�


She scowled. �Get out of my room.�


�Misao-�


�OUT!�

They avoided each
other for the rest of the week, dodging meals and sleeping at odd times of
day. The others watched curiously but said nothing.
*
*
*           *

Misao wanted to drag her hands through her hair, pull out all the stupid little
hairpins and rain them over the lavishly decorated tables. She
appreciated the effort, she really did, but this wasn�t some perfect fairy tale
for her.


Or� it was� she was simply annoyed. Aoshi had been a positive ice block
all week. It had gotten so bad she wondered, when the time came, if he
was going to tell the priest marrying them he didn�t want to marry her anymore.


Now, four hours after said ceremony, well and truly wed, Misao was annoyed,
hungry, and a little tipsy. There had been the sake from the ceremony
itself and then the six cups she�d had since she sat down.


It had been four hours.


Four hours.


They were still partying.


Thankfully, the party was small including few more than some Oniwabanshuu
associates that had, mostly, already left, her Tokyo friends, and her immediate family.


Four hours was a long time, she thought.


A long time.


Especially when she wanted to get Aoshi upstairs and either kill him or tear
off his clothes. She wasn�t sure why it was bothering her so much,
only that having been given permission to touch him and then having that
privilege suddenly denied irked her. Plus, she liked him touching
her. His not wanting to just� it was� it kind of hurt. Like he
didn�t want her anymore�


Aoshi had drank his obligatory sake and then refused to touch anymore. He
wasn�t talking to anyone, he wasn�t partying, so why the hell couldn�t
they go to bed?


It had been FOUR hours!


She stood up. �I�m going to bed,� she announced gruffly and started
stalking toward the door and then right out it.
*
*
*           *

Aoshi watched Misao growl at Sano by the door and then disappear. If the
way the young man was frowning was any indication, Misao had had nothing good
to say to him. She had taken their� separation� especially poorly.
Especially considering they hadn�t been interacting regularly before his
request to wait until they had wed.


She had been antsy, snappish and moody all day. He stood.


�I apologize for Misao, she�s�had a difficult week.�


The Tokyo party
had only arrived the day before. They would know nothing of Misao�s
antics for the past three weeks and he saw no need to explain that
to anyone. She would be over it by tomorrow, that he was certain of.


Kamiya Kaoru, however, was not keen to let the topic drop. �Is she
unwell? She didn�t mention feeling under the weather.�


�Maybe it's just lady troubles,� Megumi suggested, her voice not loud enough to
carry beyond the small table.


Aoshi let that one go. He wouldn�t even consider that until he had
to.


�If you will excuse me, I�m going to retire.�


There was a chorus of farewells tossed in his direction as he moved toward the
door. Just beyond it, Sano was holding a jug of sake.


�Yo, Shinomori- you know your wife was threatening harm to my balls just a few
minutes ago. I�d be careful, she�s in a hell of a mood.�


Aoshi�s gaze flickered away from Sano toward the sound of footfalls to see
Saitou step out. Who had invited him?


A loose curl of cigarette smoke rose into the air. �Che. Rooster,
she�s not interested in your balls.�


Aoshi frowned and stepped away. �Goodnight.�


He tried to collect his thoughts as he ascended the stairs. Would Misao
be in her room or his? Suddenly, he realized they hadn�t discussed it in
their avid quest to avoid one another. In fact, they hadn�t discussed anything
after they agreed to get married.


Stopping by her room first, he knocked and slid open the door, peering inside.


Empty.


So she had gone to his room then.


Good.


He�d wanted her there anyway. Fantasies of her in his bed had plagued him
all week. The bed, the floor, the windowsill�


Standing outside his doorway, he briefly wondered if she had gone somewhere
else. Had she gotten angry and stormed outside instead? He slid
open his door to find her standing by his futon. A double futon.


Apparently, Omasu or Okon had set up his room before hand, moving Misao�s
bedding to his room. Misao certainly hadn�t done it. Okina had kept
her locked away in a room downstairs with dressers and face artists all morning
preparing for the ceremony.


She glared and turned away fiddling with something in her hair.


He stepped in, sliding the door closed.


Was she still angry?


Even now?


He watched her yank at the hair sticks and pins holding up her elaborate
hairstyle before his eyes dragged down her frame to the obi around her
midsection. Raising his hands up, he gently touched his fingers toward
it.


He expected soft, but the cloth was thick and coarse. Gently, he pulled
at it, sliding the material against itself, undoing the tucks and folds.
As he unwound it from her, he discarded the ribbons and padding.


�Hurry! This thing is hot and I officially hate this obi, I feel like I�m
wearing a huge pillow around my waist and I can�t move my legs enough.�


The material gathered around her ankles and she sighed as it finally peeled off
of her. The breath was long, relieved. Reaching for the back of her
collar, he tugged it down exposing more of her neck and then he leaned forward,
bending over her to press his lips to her skin. She tensed as he kissed
the back of her neck, flicking his tongue against the bone just under her
flesh.


Pressing his hands to her shoulders he gathered the material, sliding her outer
kimono off where it pooled at her elbows and off her hands.


Abruptly, she shoved one elbow backward almost catching him in the
abdomen. When he drew back, she spun around and threw her arms around his
waist. His chest felt full of feeling. His skin tingled.


Reaching back, he unclasped her arms and leaned down so they were nose to nose.


�Misao�� His voice was soft in the silent room. �Get naked.�


For a moment, she seemed surprised at the bold request but then her lips curled
and she stepped away from him sliding her hands behind her to nimbly untie the
knots of her under kimono. He stepped back, pressing his back to the
wall.


There were two low candles burning on the nearby table. He silently
praised her forethought. He didn�t want total darkness.


She didn�t sway or shimmy as she pulled at the clothes. There was no rush
in her movements. Rather, she was led by caution and a sudden bout of
shyness as she slowly disrobed, pulling away the final ties before her last
slip parted and he saw pure, milky skin.


His mouth went dry and then immediately afterwards wet. He wanted to lick
her from neck to hip.


�Off,� he curtly ordered as she hesitated in slipping away the silky white
slip.


In response, she let it slide from her shoulders where it pooled into a chalky
puddle at her ankles. Self-consciously, she pulled her arms across her
chest, shifting awkwardly. He wanted to quirk his lips at her. She
had wanted this for weeks and now she was going to hide?

He pushed away from
the wall sliding out of his black outer jacket, handing it to her.


�Put this on.�


More fantasy.


She slid the black garment over her white skin. No sooner had he glanced
over her in the garment she was too tiny for did he fall on her with the grace
of a battle axe. Her moan was swallowed, crushed by the hard pressure of
his mouth. Lust coiled in his belly, burning him. His hands fisted
in her hair knocking pins over the bedding, half tilting her hair as he dragged
them down sliding under the silk to touch her skin.


Hot.


She was so hot.


He drew his hands down, curling his hands around her tiny hips.


Pushing.


Down.


Until her knees were on the floor and he tilted her back onto the bedding, her
legs unfolding from beneath her. She made an ungraceful sound as she
collapsed onto it.


Pulling away from her, he settled down, crossing his legs. He pulled at the
ties of his own garments and her tiny hands jumped right in to assist,
unwinding the sash at his waist and diving below the waistband the moment it
was free.


His groan was an inhuman sound growled directly into her ear. She slid
her hand around his thickened shaft and squeezed him.


�Ready for me, Aoshi?�


Her voice was a hot thrill down his spine.


�Always,� he gruffly answered. �In my lap, Misao.�


She obeyed, spreading her legs over his, opening herself wide. Aoshi
wondered if he could climax just looking at her. Taking her by the
narrow hips, he aligned himself beneath her, and her above him, and slid
himself in.


She was not ready for him and the grimace on her face reminded him
abruptly that Misao, despite her eagerness, was still very inexperienced.
He grunted and pulled her hips down shoving himself all the way in.


Not � not wet enough at all.


He dropped his hand between their bodies to stroke her. She mewed
softly and he leaned back to touch her easier. Her hips shifted, her
muscles twitching.


Misao began to rock her hips against his hand and he clenched his eyes shut a brief
moment as she moved along his length.


Teasing�


Teasing him.


He hissed, his teeth snapping together when she clenched around him. Her
body tensed, squeezing. Impatiently, he thrust his hips up and she moaned.


�Misao��


Her eyes flicked open.   A soft, blotchy flush had turned her cheeks
and her neck pink.


�Ride me.�


Blinking at him in puzzlement, Aoshi pressed his hands to her hips and lifted
her. Her eyes went wide. �Oh.�



She pushed herself back down, shifting her footing. Slowly, she moved,
sliding herself awkwardly. Sliding his hands from her hips he leaned
back, forcing himself not to touch her, not to move her against him hard.


Her movements were slow, a soft slide of flesh. He balled his hands into
fists on the floor, not touching� not touching� if he touched her, he�d force
her down onto him too hard.


A sudden shudder passed down his spine and his muscles twitched as she lowered
herself down onto him fully. So warm inside� she squeezed him.


He felt compelled to watch, to stay still as she leaned back to press her palms
to his thighs arching her back and thrusting her breasts forward. His
black jacket still hung from her shoulders, stark against her pearly skin.


Groaning, she lifted herself up and then down again, testing his sanity with
her movements. His mind was split into a thousand tiny threads, a
thousand different thoughts, a thousand different sensations�


Lust�


Heat�


Cold�


Sweat�


She overwhelmed him.


�Aoshi-�


The �-sama� was lost as he leaned forward, lapping his tongue against her
chest. She tightened around him.


�Faster.�


�Aoshi-sama�� she leaned forward suddenly, lifting herself up to bite his
earlobe. �Oh� please��


�Please what?� his words sounded much like groans.


�Please,� she whispered softly. �Fuck me.�


In the span of a breath, she was pressed into the futon bedding, her skin curled
softly into his black fabric overtop their linens and his hips thrust hard.


His mind curled and unfettered as his pleasure grew. Her hand curled in
his cloth, her body, her heat surrounding him drove him nearly to madness.


Reaching between them he leaned back enough to slide his hand down her body to
stroke her. To slide his fingers against her sensitive flesh.
In a moments time, and with a few clumsy touches, her body squeezed him, her
flesh clenching around his.


Hard.


Repeatedly.


He entire body tensed as pleasure burst furiously, his hips pumping hard.
He groaned, his muscles lost their strength as his body tensed, seeding her.


Beneath him, she quieted, and he fell over her.


In the dimness of the room, they panted.


��wife�� he whispered into her ear.


Her arms slid up to curl around him. The word whispered into the darkness
seemed to slam doors closed, in his mind, he hadn�t realized were open.


Wife.


He turned and pressed his back to the futon, laying her atop him.


His wife.


Married.


A deep seated contentment warmed his chest. He had her, this woman who
loved him more than all else.


His nightmares and her nightmares�


Husband and wife.


She belonged to him. Through madness and murder and pain she had loved
him. He, laying there and staring at the ceiling made a silent vow to
always be with her.


Misao had been unfailingly loyal. He hoped. That moment, he prayed,
to his ancestors, to God, that he should never ever fail her.


��Husband�, that�s something I�ll have to get used to,� she murmured with a
soft yawn.


�Tired?�


�No. Yeah. I feel energized and sleepy. Kind of heavy��


�Do you fear sleeping beside me?� he dreaded her answer, but she was
forthcoming.


�No. I want you to sleep beside me always,� she answered softly.
�Promise me you will.�


Curling his arms around her he held her tight to his skin despite the sweat.
�I will promise you anything.�
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In Err, My Suffering