The Whisper at My Side

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation
Warnings: bad language, reference to alcoholism
Author's Notes: For those that celebrate this festive season, may you have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and may 2007 be filled with joy for you all!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’. And Iwaki and Katou belong to ‘Embracing Love’ by Youka Nitta.


The Whisper at My Side: Chapter 5

Tatsuha watched his older brother frowning as his young niece crawled all over him, using him alternatively as a springboard or a climbing range. For all that Eiri scowled fiercely at her and appeared to try to shrug her off, when she came too close to the pond’s edge nearby his large hands were always there to steady and protect her from possible harm.

He couldn’t help his lips from smiling. For all Eiri volubly and vehemently voiced his dislike for children, including his own niece and nephews, he was actually a perfect uncle; not too overbearing or having any expectations of them. Children liked him, seeming able to see trough the cold icy and distant aloofness to the warm heart that beat beneath. Eiri’s bluntness didn’t repel children as it did adults, perhaps because children also could be just as unwittingly direct. Generally they were far more honest in their opinion of things and people, not yet restricted by the constraints and expectations of polite society. This was probably why children liked Eiri and appeared to be able to relate to him, knowing that despite the rough exterior he would never actually harm them.

As Tatsuha watched, his niece was clinging around Eiri’s neck, giggling madly whilst Eiri sat there were an expression of great suffering. He grinned, and wished he had a video camera at times like this. It was perfect blackmail material if he ever needed his brother to do anything for him.

“You haven’t told him, have you?”

A voice broke into his thoughts. He turned to look over his shoulder, seeing his sister leaning against the door frame on the other side of the room, arms crossed. The pose was so familiar, one he had seen Eiri in many times and one he had seen even in his own mirror.

He was struck once again at just how similar they all were; all the Uesagi siblings. Their features were almost identical, only slightly softened on Mika, but then Tatsuha had often wondered if he or Eiri grew their hair long if it wouldn’t have the same effect. Even their body types were almost the same; Mika unfortunately wasn’t so well-endowed that if she didn’t dress to accentuate those attributes that she couldn’t be mistaken for a slim good-looking boy. Not that he would ever dream of mentioning that to her! He valued his skin, and more importantly, his reproductive organs. Mika wasn’t called a ‘ball buster’ for nothing!

Only Tohma seemed to have mastered control over his head-strong and volatile sister, but then Tohma had realized long ago that to master her he had to be prepared to relinquish some control to her as well. Their courtship and marriage had always been a fine balance like this but it seemed to work for them. Many couples that had to live with the strain and pressures of their careers and family might not have survived, but for both Mika and Tohma it had only seemed to make them more determined to strive to go beyond as that and create their own Utopia. Neither of them liked to lose so perhaps that is what made them such a perfect match.

Tatsuha hoped to one day be able to find a partner just as suitable for him, and gender didn’t matter. But he had realized that he had almost been spoilt by those closest to him in his search for a perfect partner. With role models such as Tohma and Mika, and even Yuki and Shuichi’s bizarre relationship, not to mention Hiro and Ayaka’s steady and solid relationship, all these combinations of what could make a partnership work meant that a potential partner had a hell of a lot to live up to. Not to mention that they would have to be able to put up with all these differing personalities of the closest people in his life, and that was a big ask of anyone! He sighed softly. He wondered if he would ever be able to find someone as suitable for him.

“Told him what?” He finally remembered to address Mika’s question.

“What you heard.” she said, striding into the room to come and stand next to him. A soft smile touched her previously stem features as her gaze was drawn to the window by the joyous laughter of her daughter playing. It warmed his heart. He thought his sister never looked so beautiful as when she watched her children. They brought out her softer side as nothing else could.

“What I heard?” He was at a loss as to what she was referring.

She looked across at him with an expression that said he was being particularly dense, even more so than usual. Tatsuha felt himself wither under that look. Even after all these years there were still times she could make him feel like he was five years old again and caught with his hand in the sweets jar.

She let out a deep sigh and rolled her eyes seeing that the blank expression on her brother’s face hadn’t changed and, for once, truly was sincere. “Shuichi,” she prodded. “Remember? You heard him.”

Ah - Tatsuha dredged back through his memory. He remembered it would have been about two years ago, after dealing with another of Eiri’s drunken escapades, thinking he had heard a voice whisper to him just as he fell asleep. It had said, ‘I’m coming’, as though in answer to his desperate question that night, one he had thought purely rhetorical and certainly not expecting an actual answer to it. He had remembered his mind grasping after that tendril of soft thought, and had thought that he had heard, even more faintly, the last words, ‘I’m here’. Then exhaustion had stolen his consciousness.

He remembered waking the next morning from a restless night, the dreams that had plagued him fading with waking but still leaving fragments of memory of running, chasing after something that seemed to be always just ahead of him, searching for something desperately and every now and then thinking he had it finally in his grasp only to have it slip away. He remembered feeling as though he was following something, or someone, who always seemed just out of reach, tantalizingly so, but he couldn’t not continue to seek for it. And all the time there had seemed to be a soft voice, words that he couldn’t truly hear or comprehend but were there none the less, a voice that was reassuring him, telling him…..something. A sense of waiting, of wanting, and of expectation.

He had fully awoken then, still sleep dazed, and uncertain if it had been real, if he had really heard anything the night before, or if it had been nothing more than a product of his own imagination, a sign of his own extreme stress at that time. However, those vague disturbing feelings left over from his dreams had continued to nag at him all that day and the day after. So much so that he had finally spoken to Mika, telling her everything.

He had thought that she would just laugh it off, dismissing it out of hand being the practical person that she is. Instead she had heard him out uninterrupted and then stood there silently giving it serious thought, until finally saying, ‘I guess it’s possible.’.

When he had looked at her with shock she had simply gazed back steadily and shrugged, “You are the only one, apart from Eiri, that could really sense Shuichi. Eiri did say that he was beginning to talk to him a little.”

“But why to me?” he had said. “Why not Eiri? Surely he would have been the more logical choice.”

Mika had sighed sadly. “Do you think he would have been in any fit state to hear?” she had said a little sadly.

Tatsuha realized that could have very well been the case. Eiri’s soiled state of mind, body and spirit would have hardly made him ideal for receiving messages from the otherside. So perhaps Shuichi hadn’t been able to communicate with Eiri at that time, leaving him as the only other option.

But that still didn’t explain what he had meant by his brief message, and it had all been a long time ago.

“So why haven’t you told him?” Mika brought him back to the present once more.

He half shrugged. “Do you really think he would listen to me?” he said, nodding towards the window through which they could see their brother sitting.

“Maybe,” Mika replied.

“Yeah, maybe, but do you really think that it would be the best thing for him? It’s taken nearly two years to get him back to something resembling normal. If I had told him back then, and still nothing happened, what state do you think he would be in now?”

Mika frowned, worry creasing her brow. “You may be right,” she admitted reluctantly. “It was hard enough to try and get him back to this.” She turned back to her youngest brother. “So there’s been nothing since?”

Tatsuha shook his head. “No,”

Mika sighed. “What the hell is going on?” she murmured quietly, clearly frustrated. “How is Eiri supposed to keep going? How is he supposed to keep hoping?”

Tatsuha mirrored her shrug. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I don’t understand any of this myself, but if I did hear right then Shuichi is still around, he’s not gone completely. We’ve just got to figure out what it means.”

A peal of laughter, followed by a loud growl, drew his attention to the scene outside once more. Despite the scowl, Eiri did look almost normal, a far cry from the rapid decline he had gone through only a few years ago.

“Do you think I should tell him now?” he asked his sister, needing her support and wisdom.

Mika was silent for a time then answered slowly, “No, I don’t think so.”

It was obviously said with some reluctance. Tatsuha felt some relief at her agreement.

“Let’s just make certain we are there to support him in this. We don’t need a repeat of the last eight years.” She turned away from the window purposefully and began to walk away. “Asame will be home from school any minute, and no doubt will be hungry.”

Tatsuha smiled as he looked after her. “Does that mean I get snacks too?”

Mika glared at him. “Only if you can beat my son, and that’s before the other one gets home as well!” she said as she left him.

Tatsuha chuckled. Mika and Tohma’s second oldest was their son Asame, who was now about eight, and like most boys that age seemed perpetually hungry. Their eldest, Hayate, at age ten, generally came home later as he went straight from school to kendo classes and was also like a hungry locust when he walked in the door. It had become a bit of game between he and his nephews as to whether he managed to score enough snacks before them. On top of dodging the wooden spoon that Mika wielded against him, accompanied by her indignant cries of stealing the food from her children’s mouths. Oh, yes, time for the games to begin! He turned to follow after his sister as he fully intended to be ready and waiting to partake of any delicacies that Mika intended putting out for her children.

***********

Yuki continued to put up with his niece’s boisterous antics, deep down reveling in it. He frowned at her, not that she paid any attention to him. In some ways it was nice that there was someone who didn’t take him too seriously.

It was very pleasant outside at the moment. Summer was only just beginning so it hadn’t grown unbearably hot, although there was always the pool of cool water before him to cool down in if he had wished. Of course, the koi probably wouldn’t appreciate it much. Humph, he snorted to himself. They were nothing but food anyway. He had never quite got with the view of how special they were supposed to be. They were fish, for gods sake! Sashimi in the making!

Still, currently the weather was pleasant, the sun was out, the sky was blue, a light breeze rustling through the trees, all the usual clichés in full force. It was almost enough to make him heave.

A movement out of the corner of his eye drew his gaze back to the lightly rippling water. A very pale shape swirled lightly on the surface, its edges tinged brown. A last cherry blossom petal, burnt by the increasing heat, and probably been caught in something up since it hadn’t been blown completely away before now. He watched it pushed along lightly before drifting to the edge of the rocks where a hungry koi lipped at it, dragging it beneath the surface.

This year had been the first he had witnessed the first awakening of the cherry blossoms for many years. It had previously been nothing more than an excuse to have a few drinks and he hadn’t really bothered attending the ordinary festivities that went with it much of the time. He had looked upon it as more of a nuisance than anything else and the crowds had done nothing but annoy him.

However, this year it had seemed… appropriate somehow. It was like it was a coming out event for him, an expression of his re-entering the world of the living once more. He had not protested when Mika had insisted he accompany them that evening. The children didn’t stay awake the whole time, of course, no matter how hard the oldest had tried to be grown up and to do so. Eventually they had all succumbed to sleep, curled up like puppies, side by side, limbs sprawled across each other.

Even Mika had napped a little, nestled on Tohma’s shoulder, her face serene and relaxed in slumber. Tohma’s arm had automatically encircled her protectively, cradling her, holding her close, the other hand lightly resting on the ground behind where his small brood lay. Tohma never made grand gestures, but nothing else could have given a more clearer indication of his deep love for his family. In fact, it was a scene that Yuki had often drawn out to remember since that time; a vision of love, of family, Tohma, Mika and their three children all gathered together in one place and at peace with each other. He needed those moments in his life.

It wasn’t just being with them that had made it special that night. He had sat there in the dark, candles burning dimly and shielded from the night wind. He had smoked as he sipped the sake, moderately so, unlike what he may have done once. He still found his metabolism and body kicked occasionally when he subjected it to alcohol. Not surprising considering the abuse he had put it through over the last few years.

He wasn’t usually one to look backwards, dwelling on the past, and to be perfectly honest, he would be battling to even say what he had done for six years of his life. Well, not the whole six years.

When Shuichi had left him again he had managed for almost the next two years. He had stayed positive, as positive as he normally was, kept going, doing what he normally did.

By the third year, with still no sign from Shuichi, his resolve had begun to falter. His bad days became more frequent, his spells of despair, longer. He had found solace in the bottom of a bottle to begin with, only sometimes at first, but by the fourth year this was becoming almost all the time. He was constantly searching for something to deaden the pain, the endless ache deep in his chest that never seemed to go away and just seemed to grow with the passing of time.

After that, well, he couldn’t remember much of anything. When he tried to, he didn’t know if it were true memories or drunken hallucinations. Those last few years were just a blur, a mish-mash of sound, colour and movement that he couldn’t separate or decipher.

How low he sank he actually didn’t know. He did know that his first clear memories once more were of a sterile while environment and tubes dangling from arms, nose and mouth. As well as straps around his limbs anchoring him to the bed.

He had been placed in a very exclusive and extremely private rehabilitation centre which was also a private hospital. It was so exclusive that no-one could be bribed to divulge the names of patients so his presence was not known to the outside world. He had spent the next eighteen months there; that he did remember. He had been treated well as he had slowly clawed his way back from his drunken world, no longer able to escape into those false memories and events, no longer plagued by the demons and alcohol-induced nightmares that soon had followed the illusionary dreams of solace.

During that convalescence he had been visited by a number of people; Mika and Tohma of course, although the children had never accompanied them. Not that he would have wanted them to have seen him like that. It was during that time that he had leant that he even had a niece, little Kaori. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t even remember seeing Mika pregnant.

Tatsuha also visited; a breath of fresh air from the somberness and kindness showered on him. His brother’s wicked humour was a welcome relief when he felt he would slip once more into oblivion. Tatsuha helped keep him grounded in the real world, at least his world of sex, rock and roll, and humorous exploits.

Another unexpected visitor had been Hiroshi Nakano. Yuki had thought he had been hallucinating once more when the lean red-head had strode through his door. His disbelief must have been visible as Hiro had grinned and held out an arm saying, “You can pinch me, if you like!”. He had been temped to do just that but hadn’t wanted to show his insecurity by doing so. Talking to a figment of his imagination was better than admitting that!

However Hiro was completely real and certainly in the flesh. It had surprised him at how at ease he felt with the other’s presence, something he would have thought impossible with a stranger. But then it became a little clearer as Hiro’s talks and visits continued that the man was no stranger to him and his past exploits. In fact, it was Hiro who told him bluntly just how much effort his bother had gone to in helping him, something Tatsuha had never really let on up till then.

All of that had finally been enough to make him realize he had to get his act back together. That and Hiro telling him what a fuck wit he was, and a pathetic loser for giving up and breaking his promise to Shuichi. He had replied - well, shouted - that it was all a crock of shit, where Hiro then said – shouted - back that how did he know and when had Shuichi ever lied to him. To which Yuki couldn’t reply as he couldn’t remember once when Shuichi had.

Hiro had then pinned him with that steely gaze, the same one he had fixed Yuki with after learning of Shuichi’s rape, and told him that if he didn’t have the guts to keep his word to Shuichi then he could just self-destruct but do it quickly and not be so selfish as to drag everyone else down with him.

He had wanted to respond in his usual manner, telling Hiro that he hadn’t asked anyone else to get involved, but even he couldn’t condone his actions any longer. He may have not asked anyone to help him but he could also not expect them to just sit back and watch his downhill slide without lifting a finger; it went completely against their characters.

On top of that Hiro just shrugged his shoulders and informed him, “Don’t think it was all for you.” He had snarled, glaring at Yuki lying in the bed. “We did it for Shuichi because we believe in him even if you don’t!”

That had made him think hard during the course of the long dark nights following. How could he doubt Shuichi when so many others didn’t? How could he, who was supposed to be his partner, his lover, be the first to give up on him? He felt very small after that in finally realising just how little faith he had in Shuichi, and not just in him, but in their love, their bond. He had been prepared to throw all that away without another thought. He had cried hot angry tears then, thoroughly ashamed, and that had goaded him into deciding he would recover from his current state.

That didn’t mean that there still weren’t bad days during that time. There were, but thankfully they continued to decrease in number until he had reached this stage, where he no longer had bad days but merely bad hours, which were far easier to handle.

Once he had left the hospital he had returned to his apartment to find he had a new housemate. Tatsuha moved in with him, claiming it was time he broadened his horizons, and with a wink and a wicked smile he also added that the walls of Yuki’s place were thicker than at home and the noise wasn’t likely to carry as much.

Yuki hadn’t been in any condition to argue just then, and Tatsuha had wasted no time in testing the acoustics and sound-proofing of his apartment which began to drive him crazy as he began to feel better over time. However it was too late, by that time Tatsuha was well and truly entrenched and not to be budged, no matter how much he threatened, pleaded and begged.

Yuki would never admit it but he had been grateful for his brother’s presence during those first months. If he had been left alone he feared he would have quickly slipped back to his former state. It would have been too easy to have succumbed to the darkness that seemed to perpetually hover around the edges of his psyche, tempting him to return to ‘the dark side’. Tatsuha’s constant good cheer was the only thing to stave it off at times and although Yuki had never said anything to him, Tatsuha seemed to somehow sense when it was very bad and would stay home with him, sitting up all night as they just talked, watched TV or listened to music. Afterwards, Yuki would once again feel the darkness recede and he could breathe freely again, and with a sleepy smile and a yawn Tatsuha would take himself off to bed.

Soon he began to find the courage to venture beyond the safe confines of his apartment and go out into the world once more. He even visited Kyoto a number of times, returning home and staying with his father, surprisingly with few arguments. It was as if his father was trying his best to not create any further aggravation, a concession that Yuki had been surprised by and a little pleased as well.

However most of his time he spent with Mika and Tohma, getting to know his nephews and niece. It had felt quite strange spending time with the children, relaxing yet exhausting at the same time. Out of them all only the oldest, Hayate, had even met Shuichi, and he had been too young to remember his encounter with ‘Uncle Shuichi’.

Yet, for all they had never known him, Mika and Tohma had obviously not been hesitant in telling them about Shuichi’s presence in Yuki’s life. As Mika had said with a shrug when he had confronted her over it, “He was an important part in your life -and still is. They need to understand that.”

He still wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that the kids knew. He had been wary at first, afraid of what they might try asking him. But surprisingly their questions weren’t intrusive, merely feeding their curiousity in wanting to know how he and Shuichi had met, what they did, where they went. After a while he realised that it seemed to help to talk about Shuichi, to be able to discuss their life together to people who didn’t judge or had no preconceived, prejudged or prejudiced ideas about them. In some ways it was almost soothing to do so, but only to them. If anyone else had asked these questions as in an adult, they would have been met by his usual stony silence. It was simply not something he could speak to any other adult. And the openness with which the children accepted his stories and the happiness they expressed on his behalf was more healing than anything else. Somehow it seemed as though just by talking about him that Shuichi wasn’t so far away from him anymore.

So gradually he began to rebuild his life, to be able to face the world once more and see it for what it was, and learn to live in it once more. Gradually he no longer needed Tatsuha to drag him out of the house but could take himself and find that he could survive the experience and return in one piece. Gradually he was able to hold a normal conversation, interact with people around him and even look forward to the following day without a feeling of dread or despair.

He had been hoping to return to work but that hadn’t been as easy. Not surprising really. He had been absent for six years, generally a death sentence for a writer as their fan base would move on apart from some of the true die-hards. He didn’t even know if he could return to his writing, at least not writing about the same thing as he once had.

So when he had taken the first step in contacting Mizuki it had been with some trepidation. Her greeting to him had been heartfelt and sincere, her joy evident in her voice. She had obviously known something about his absence and he guessed that Tohma had kept her apprised of the bare bones of the matter at least, if not all the sordid details.

When he had half expressed his concerns, she had agreed immediately that it would probably take some effort to build sales back up. But it was then that he had found out that he hadn’t been entirely forgotten during his absence.

Without his knowledge, two movies had been made of his books, adaptations to the big screen and both had done surprisingly well. Especially the second which had been slightly modified so the heroine became another hero and so it was a love story between two males.

He had been so stunned when he had first been told that he could barely take it all in. Firstly, that the films would be made without his permission in the first place, which was soon explained with the signature of Tohma Seguchi who had long ago been appointed power of attorney and had never been revoked. He couldn’t be angry at Toham’s high-handed treatment. Not only had he ensured that the name of Eiri Yuki remained in people’s minds during these past years, but also that Yuki had become even more wealthy which had been a good thing considering the expense of staying in the hospital he had been. Not that he had any doubts that Tohma would have footed the bill if need be. Tohma had also liaised with everything to do with the films, from marketing, casting, merchandise and advertising. And he had ensured NG Productions had exclusive control over the soundtrack for the movies, which proved a launching pad for two new bands for the Company.

So none of that was an issue, and not surprising. However, the changes made for the second film were. Upon finding out he had immediately spoken to Tohma, demanding to know what the hell he had been thinking and sounding almost like normal. Tohma had calmly asked if Yuki had seen it yet, and when he had replied in the negative, had promptly turned up on his doorstep with a disk in hand and dinner in the other.

Yuki had then sat and watched in fascination. Seeing his story come to life on the big screen, or at least on his 75 inch TV, was something of a shock and yet a hidden delight also. Still he had been a little uncomfortable in watching the two male stars portraying the lead characters, but by the end he had to admit that they had played it plausibly.

“Where did you get them?” he had asked Tohma as the credits rolled.

Tohma was leaning back comfortably in the corner of the couch. “They have become somewhat of a celebrity couple over the past few years.” he replied. “What did you think of their performance?”

Yuki would have liked to have said he had hated it but he couldn’t in all honesty. “They were pretty good,” he grudgingly admitted. “I wouldn’t have thought two guys could have pulled that story off successfully. It was one of the more romantic, and sexual, books I’ve written.”

Tohma smiled serenely, looking for all the world like a very pleased and well fed cat. “That is why I believed that they were the best choice for the parts. They are ex-AV actors after all.”

Yuki had almost choked on the enoki mushrooms he had just placed in his mouth. “What?!”

“Oh, yes,” Tohma continued, completely unconcerned. “They started off in that industry, though both have now been involved in more serious and mainstream roles.”

Yuki managed to swallow his mouthful and washed it down with a gulp of tea before speaking. “I guess that does explain why they were so convincing in the sex scenes, though I’m surprised they were able to balance the romance also. AV’s usually just about fake sound effects, bored expressions, not to mention very bad acting.”

“Well, the romance would have come naturally to them. They are partners after all.”

Yuki stared at Tohma, certain now that he was just trying to mess with his mind. Tohma seemed to be able to read his thoughts and held out a hand in a gesture of peace.

“It’s quite true. Kyosuke Iwaki and Youji Katou are a recognized couple. They live not that far from the studio and are even married. That is why they were so eager to do the roles. It was a perfect opportunity to be able to act together in this way once more. Their first film break had been in “Haru Wo Daiteita’ in which they played lovers so they were keen to do so again.”

“And the public didn’t mind?” Yuki asked with some skepticism.

“There will, of course, always be a portion of the community who will not approve. However, by having your name attached to the film and it being an adaptation of one of your books, people seemed to accept the change far more easily.” Tohma quirked an eyebrow at him. “Perhaps because your books focus far more on the romance and not just the sex that people were able to accept the film, no matter who, or what gender, played the roles.”

It had been a real eye opener for him over all this, so when Tohma said that talks were currently under way about a tentative third movie, he decided that he wanted to be more involved right from the start. It had been the first big step he had made to re-entering the public arena and he had been surprised at his boldness and the lack of fear at the thought. He had found Tohma’s knowing smile more than a little irritating.
The other good thing about a third movie being negotiated, was that it also meant that he would have a little more breathing space in trying to produce another book. Tohma had quietly indicated that it would be well worthwhile for some pre-advertising for the potential new film to see what response they got which would place them in a stronger bargaining position. He even suggested a re-release of the other two films as a special event, running them as a marathon with Yuki’s attendance. Perhaps even an joint interview with the previous actors, as their popularity was so high at present so it could only do them good. Yuki hesitated in committing to that. A part of him still felt it was far too early to throw himself fully back into the limelight but he had to admit to himself that he felt a little exhilarated by the thought also. Tohma seemed to sense he was holding back and had not insisted.

So things had continued from there. The third film was now confirmed, the contract signed and discussions were underway in developing the script and considering casting. Tohma was running it all efficiently as always and Yuki found he was drawn further and further into the transactions and actually enjoying it.

He disengaged his niece’s hand from his hair, placing her once more on the ground and off his back as she laughed at him. However, what he enjoyed more were just days like this. Days where he could be himself, relax in the presence of those he trusted, with no worries, no concerns, no pressure. It was on days like this that his world seemed so much better.

A firm tug on his ear made him let out a sharp “Ow!!”, and he glared down at the beaming face of Kaori, one small hand still firmly attached to the portion of his anatomy that she had assaulted.

“Stop that!” he said, trying to disengage her fingers whilst she giggled at him. The more he tried to detach her, the more she seemed to manage to wriggle around and avoid him, and although her grip on his ear had released, her tiny grasping hands seemed determined to find as many other things she could hang onto as possible. All of which were portions of him.

He finally managed to ensure she was not holding onto anything and placed both hands around her small waist, lifting her skywards above his head. She squealed and laughed joyously, a broad smile splitting her face, chubby arms and legs waving in delight.

Yuki gazed up her, frowning, keeping out of the way of those still grasping hands. “Stop squirming, brat.” he said to her.

She laughed again and he felt a wet splotch on his check and grimaced. Great, he thought, nose wrinkling in disgust. Nothing like kid drool to liven up my day!

“Uncle Eiri!” He heard the call at the same time he heard the crunch of the pebbled path and looking up, whilst keeping a firm grip on the hem of little Kaori’s dress so she couldn’t get up to any trouble while he had his eyes off her, he saw his nephew approaching.

Asame didn’t rush forward and throw himself at his uncle as Kaori would have. At eight years old he considered himself already too old for that behaviour, at least when there was company, for following close behind was another boy dressed in the same school uniform.

Kaori let out a happy cry and began struggling to free herself, causing Yuki to look down, distracted. He sighed and released her, watching her throw herself with wild abandon at her older brother, who stooped down to catch her. All the children were very close and Kaori adored both her big brothers.

In some ways he was glad that Kaori was the youngest, being the only girl. That meant that she could just be herself as she grew up and have two brothers to help look after her. It would be far different for her than it had been for her mother. Watching the two children together reminded him of his own childhood and how close he had been to his siblings. He still was in a way, but that easy relationship that had existed in childhood innocence had never been fully recovered in their adult years. Yuki found he regretted that more often now when seeing his niece and nephews together and he hoped that nothing would shatter this bond they shared. Of course, with parents like Tohma and Mika it was unlikely that anything would occur to harm them in any way. Their parents would see to that - and woe betide anyone who thought to get in their way!

Kaori chatted away in the continuous babble that only a four year old could maintain with Asame looking down and listening intently as he held her hand and walked back to Yuki. He thought most of it was just meaningless gabble but Asame seemed to have no trouble deciphering the meaning, or at least did a very good job of pretending he understood it all. When they were closer Kaori detached herself from Asame and threw herself back at Yuki, immediately climbing into his lap and sitting there as though she were a queen on her throne.

“Get off me, you monkey,” he growled, even though his hands were out and supporting her gently. She just giggled back at him. Typical, he thought grumpily. I can’t even make one small brat pay attention. I never was good at making brats do anything I said!

“Are you staying for dinner, Uncle?” Asame asked, halting before his seated relative.

Yuki looked up briefly and answered shortly, “Yes,” before turning his attention back to Kaori who was attempting to clamber up on his shoulders.

“That’s great!” Asame seemed sincerely happy about that. “May I present to you my classmate and friend? Shuusei, this is my uncle, Eiri Uesagi.”

Yuki glanced across to be greeted by the top of an already bowed head so was unable to glimpse the face. At least the kid was polite, he thought, distractedly.

“Pleased to meet you,” a quiet voice said. “It is an honour.”

Damn, really polite, he thought. Guess not all of this generation has gone to hell!

“Yeah, likewise.” he responded curtly, not caring that he was being hypocritical by not extending the same courtesy. “So you go to school with Asame, huh?”

“Yes, honoured sir,” the small soft voice said, still from the low bowed position.

This show of subservience began to irritate Yuki, who was not one to stand on ceremony at any time. “Oh, for fucks sake, just stand up will you!” He snapped, unthinkingly breaking his promise to Mika to not swear in front of the children.

The head was raised and he saw the face for the first time.

He froze, his blood seeming to halt in his veins. He felt his world turn, his vision clouding and a sense of falling down into a deep dark well. As if from a great distance he heard Asame calling out, “Mother! Mother!”, and Kaori’s cries.

But the only thing that he truly could see was what was before him. He found himself staring into the largest eyes he had seen for a long time. Large eyes, in a colour he had only ever seen once before. Large eyes that looked back at him with more years and knowledge than the physical form could have experienced.

Two amethyst eyes gazed back at him until they faded from sight as the darkness claimed him once more.