Day and Night, Black and White
folder
Fruits Basket › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,835
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Fruits Basket › Yaoi - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,835
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Fruits Basket, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Haru ran out into the dark of the night, not sure where he was going, not caring. He just knew that he had to get away for a while to think about things…to think about what this meant. Couldn’t he control himself? Couldn’t he trust himself? He had never felt so scared in his life…
It terrified him that he had actually done whatever he had done to Kyo without being able to consciously control himself… it scared him that he didn’t know how to stop himself from turning black and doing it again….
Sure, there had been times when he had suddenly become his normal self again after he had gotten angry at something and turned black, then what had happened felt like a distant dream…but usually, even when he was black, there was still some control, some part of him that realised what he was doing, that remembered…. Never had he become so completely lost in himself that he didn’t even remember what he had done…not until he had started thinking about Kyo in * that way.*
Haru sat down on the ground, not sure where he was, not caring. He put his head in his hands and wondered how Kyo was feeling. He wondered if he had hurt the boy… and the guilt and shame that washed over him was unbearable…he wished he knew what to do…
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Kyo sat on the roof watching as the first rays of the sun appeared. *Damn you, Haru. Why are you making me feel this way? So angry and sad at the same time….why is it that I care so much when I should be glad that it’s over now? Why is it that I feel I’ve suddenly lost something so great…*
*Haru…* Kyo sighed, trying to make sense of his feelings. *Haru made me feel like I was worth spending time with…he chose to come to me…not Yuki…*
But it was all a lie.
Kyo felt his heart harden and grow cold as ice. He still wasn’t quite sure how Haru had managed, in such a short time to soften him up, to make him start wanting to see the other boy…to make him crave the visits…to make him feel even worse when he left… *I was such a fool…but…I like Haru…I really like him…*
Kyo stopped. He *liked* Haru? He thought about it… he had always been fond of the younger boy actually… they had spent a lot of time together when they were little. Kyo hadn’t really understood why Haru had suddenly started wanting to fight him so much… especially when he was trying to concentrate on beating that damn rat who he actually *hated*, whereas Haru was a different story.
It didn’t matter now that Haru was a guy…because Kyo had felt more close to him than he had ever felt to anyone… and it hadn’t felt wrong. He had wanted…he had really wanted Haru to be white and to still come to him…but it was a lie….*Haru’s blacker side simply using me because Yuki doesn’t pay enough attention to him or something…*
It shouldn’t matter. It was over now. Kyo felt his heart twist painfully. *This is good…it only would have made things worse if he had kept on coming…at least now I can stop acting so pathetic…I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care at all!*
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Haru had sat motionless for hours as the day passed by. When it was afternoon, he had finally come to a decision. He decided that since he had become more and more unable to control his other side since he started seeing Kyo in a different light, that he should try and stay away from Kyo as much as possible until he got over it. *I won’t even allow myself to fall asleep at night…Haru thought, least it causes me to change…*
But there was one thing he had to do first, he had to apologise to Kyo. *It’s the least I can do…but what do I say? How on earth am I supposed to say sorry for something like this?*
He got up; it was Saturday so he knew Kyo would be at home. He decided to go back to Shigure’s and apologise to Kyo straight away. Only problem now was how to get there?
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“I don’t care.” Kyo was said out loud, but this time, it was for a different reason. “I don’t care if it was a lie! I don’t care that Haru was disgusted when he realised what he had been doing…” he shut his eyes tightly, feeling his heart twist again. “I don’t care…” he whispered. “I miss him….”
Kyo had spent the day alternating between sitting on the roof trying to think of anything but Haru, and pacing about in his bedroom. His bedroom was worse, he couldn’t stay in there for long without seeing the tousled sheets that he couldn’t bring himself to straighten, and the vivid flashbacks of the things he and Haru had done on that bed rushing back…
*Why have you gotten to me so bad?* Kyo mind cried, and he seemed to be becoming worse by the moment… the more he tried to put the black and white haired boy from his mind, the more he couldn’t stop thinking of him.
*That’s it…I’m going to go and talk to him…no, I can’t do that…he doesn’t want me…well maybe I can go and we can fight? Maybe that’s all I need? A good fight to get over it all…
But really…I just want to at least hear his voice…*
Kyo found himself at the phone, calling Haru’s number before he fully realised what he was doing. He hated making phone calls… but he needed…he couldn’t just sit there or he would go insane!
Hatori answered.
“Uh…hi.” Kyo said awkwardly. “Um…can I speak to Haru please.”
“Haru has been away all day,” Hatori said a little angrily. “Probably gone and got himself lost again. Hell if he thinks I’m going to go out searching for him.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Kyo hung up the phone. * I should…I should go look for him. No one else would do it…it wouldn’t be good for Haru to spend another three days wandering about like he did that one time…that one time he came all that way for me…I mean…to fight me…
Well at least wandering about might help clear his head….
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*Haru, where are you?* Kyo thought, getting worried. * It will be dark soon…*
He walked along the busy streets as people rushed home from work or a day out with the family…
Kyo glanced across the street and froze. White hair with black underneath…there was no one else it could be…* Haru…*
The boy turned around from examining the directions signpost as if sensing someone was looking at him.
“Haru…” Kyo whispered and their eyes met. Grey eyes locked with red, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away. His heart thudded against his chest, his blood rushed in his ears. He wanted to run towards Haru and away from him all at the same time…
So focused on only one person was Kyo that he didn’t realise there was a little girl heading his way until it was too late…
The girl, chasing one of her friends and not looking where she was going, ran fully into Kyo. There was a puff of smoke and then an orange cat appeared.
*Oh crap…* Kyo looked up in horror at the little girl who was now towering above him.
Her eyes went wide at what she had just seen. “Kitty!” she squealed lunging for him.
*Help!* Kyo turned and dashed in the opposite direction, which just so happened to be across the road. *I hope no one else saw that…* he thought, forgetting about his pile of clothes still left on the other side, intent simply on getting away…
Time seemed to slow down as Haru watched the scene unfold before him. He stood frozen as a car came squealing around the bend and slammed right into Kyo’s body. The cat went flying off to one side, and the car continued on as if nothing had happened. Haru found himself moving…. *Kyo please be all right! *
Other people had noticed the wounded cat, lying motionless on the ground and they moved towards him. In a flash, Haru was at his side, scooping Kyo up in his arms. “He’s mine.” He told the people who were watching him. “I’ll take care of him.”
Haru clutched the cat to his chest. *I’ve got to bring him to Hatori to make sure he’s ok.*. But what direction? As night descended upon them, he found himself in the forest near Shigure’s house. *How did I get here?* Haru continued to wandered around, but only succeeded in becoming more lost, it was a moonless night, the forest was dark… and his sense of direction was terrible…
It began to rain. Hard.
Haru groaned, looking at Kyo, knowing the cat hated the rain. There was a slight bump on his head but it seemed that Kyo would be all right once he woke up from the shock, though the rain might keep him sluggish for a while.
Haru settled under a thick broad-leaved plant that offered some shelter from the heavy rain pelting the ground. He tried to keep Kyo dry as best he could…
Haru yawned. He felt like he had hardly slept in days….
He ran his hand down the cat’s back. *He’s so soft…I feel as though I could pet him forever…*
* Poof! *
A puff of orange smoke and Kyo was back in his human form. Haru blushed slightly at the naked boy he found in his arms. Gently, he shrugged off his long white jacked and wrapped it around Kyo, continuing to hold him close. *I should leave…* his mind told him… *I should leave before Black Haru comes back…* But he couldn’t just leave Kyo here, and for some reason…he felt totally calm right now, with no sign of Black Haru emerging, as if the other side of him was at peace too…
Kyo slowly awoke to the feel of strong arms wrapped around him tightly, protectively. He sighed, nuzzling the person’s arm.
“Kyo…?” it was a voice…it sounded so familiar… the voice he had wanted to hear…the only one he wanted to hear… Kyo blearily opened his eyes.
“Mmm.”
“Kyo?”
“Haru…” Kyo mumbled, eyelids dropping again.
Haru smiled, relieved that Kyo seemed to be okay. *I’ll just let him sleep now, watch him till it gets light at then I’ll go… *
Haru’s eyelids started to close, and he forced them open. *Can’t fall asleep!* But not long after, they began to droop once more…
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The next morning…
Haru awoke to a pair of deep red eyes staring at him.
Kyo stilled as he became aware of his surroundings. He was lying on the ground, Haru next to him, his arm draped around his waist, holding him close. The sun shone brightly down on them. Kyo blinked, confused. Was this a dream? But if it was a dream…why did his head hurt so much, as if a truck had hit it?
All at once Haru leapt back, putting some distance between himself and Kyo. *Oh no…oh no, did I do it again?*
“Kyo…” he said in a chocked voice, “Did I….did I do anything to you last night?”
He felt his blood run cold as Kyo simply continued to stare at him.
*What on earth is the baka blabbering on about…* Kyo was thinking. Then he remembered. Searching for Haru. The little girl. The car. * Haru…Haru looked after me…* Kyo stared up in wonder, too dazed to say anything.
*He’s still staring at me… like he’s frightened or too disturbed to do anything…what have I done?! *
Haru sighed, he hadn’t wanted it to be like this…but there was no good or easy way to do it.
“Kyo…” he began, knowing it would never be enough, “I’m…” his eye’s glistened. “I never meant…I never meant to do those things to you… I guess I never realised how uncontrollable my other side could get… I know I can’t pretend that it wasn’t my fault…but I just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry.”
Haru closed his eyes, unable to look at Kyo, too afraid to see the expression on his face. “I hope your feeling okay now. Get Shigure to call Hatori or something once you get to his house. I’m pretty sure its close by.” Haru got up.
Kyo opened his mouth, trying to say something, but no sound came out. *No*, he mouthed, as Haru walked away. * No…*
“No!” finally it came out.
“Haru wait! “ Kyo cried. “Please…please don’t leave me!”
But it was too late, Haru had already gone.
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Aww, poor Kyo. Quite a few chapters end with Haru leaving him don’t they! *cries* hopefully it won’t always be that way! :D please continue to review!
Haru ran out into the dark of the night, not sure where he was going, not caring. He just knew that he had to get away for a while to think about things…to think about what this meant. Couldn’t he control himself? Couldn’t he trust himself? He had never felt so scared in his life…
It terrified him that he had actually done whatever he had done to Kyo without being able to consciously control himself… it scared him that he didn’t know how to stop himself from turning black and doing it again….
Sure, there had been times when he had suddenly become his normal self again after he had gotten angry at something and turned black, then what had happened felt like a distant dream…but usually, even when he was black, there was still some control, some part of him that realised what he was doing, that remembered…. Never had he become so completely lost in himself that he didn’t even remember what he had done…not until he had started thinking about Kyo in * that way.*
Haru sat down on the ground, not sure where he was, not caring. He put his head in his hands and wondered how Kyo was feeling. He wondered if he had hurt the boy… and the guilt and shame that washed over him was unbearable…he wished he knew what to do…
--------
Kyo sat on the roof watching as the first rays of the sun appeared. *Damn you, Haru. Why are you making me feel this way? So angry and sad at the same time….why is it that I care so much when I should be glad that it’s over now? Why is it that I feel I’ve suddenly lost something so great…*
*Haru…* Kyo sighed, trying to make sense of his feelings. *Haru made me feel like I was worth spending time with…he chose to come to me…not Yuki…*
But it was all a lie.
Kyo felt his heart harden and grow cold as ice. He still wasn’t quite sure how Haru had managed, in such a short time to soften him up, to make him start wanting to see the other boy…to make him crave the visits…to make him feel even worse when he left… *I was such a fool…but…I like Haru…I really like him…*
Kyo stopped. He *liked* Haru? He thought about it… he had always been fond of the younger boy actually… they had spent a lot of time together when they were little. Kyo hadn’t really understood why Haru had suddenly started wanting to fight him so much… especially when he was trying to concentrate on beating that damn rat who he actually *hated*, whereas Haru was a different story.
It didn’t matter now that Haru was a guy…because Kyo had felt more close to him than he had ever felt to anyone… and it hadn’t felt wrong. He had wanted…he had really wanted Haru to be white and to still come to him…but it was a lie….*Haru’s blacker side simply using me because Yuki doesn’t pay enough attention to him or something…*
It shouldn’t matter. It was over now. Kyo felt his heart twist painfully. *This is good…it only would have made things worse if he had kept on coming…at least now I can stop acting so pathetic…I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care at all!*
---------
Haru had sat motionless for hours as the day passed by. When it was afternoon, he had finally come to a decision. He decided that since he had become more and more unable to control his other side since he started seeing Kyo in a different light, that he should try and stay away from Kyo as much as possible until he got over it. *I won’t even allow myself to fall asleep at night…Haru thought, least it causes me to change…*
But there was one thing he had to do first, he had to apologise to Kyo. *It’s the least I can do…but what do I say? How on earth am I supposed to say sorry for something like this?*
He got up; it was Saturday so he knew Kyo would be at home. He decided to go back to Shigure’s and apologise to Kyo straight away. Only problem now was how to get there?
-----------
“I don’t care.” Kyo was said out loud, but this time, it was for a different reason. “I don’t care if it was a lie! I don’t care that Haru was disgusted when he realised what he had been doing…” he shut his eyes tightly, feeling his heart twist again. “I don’t care…” he whispered. “I miss him….”
Kyo had spent the day alternating between sitting on the roof trying to think of anything but Haru, and pacing about in his bedroom. His bedroom was worse, he couldn’t stay in there for long without seeing the tousled sheets that he couldn’t bring himself to straighten, and the vivid flashbacks of the things he and Haru had done on that bed rushing back…
*Why have you gotten to me so bad?* Kyo mind cried, and he seemed to be becoming worse by the moment… the more he tried to put the black and white haired boy from his mind, the more he couldn’t stop thinking of him.
*That’s it…I’m going to go and talk to him…no, I can’t do that…he doesn’t want me…well maybe I can go and we can fight? Maybe that’s all I need? A good fight to get over it all…
But really…I just want to at least hear his voice…*
Kyo found himself at the phone, calling Haru’s number before he fully realised what he was doing. He hated making phone calls… but he needed…he couldn’t just sit there or he would go insane!
Hatori answered.
“Uh…hi.” Kyo said awkwardly. “Um…can I speak to Haru please.”
“Haru has been away all day,” Hatori said a little angrily. “Probably gone and got himself lost again. Hell if he thinks I’m going to go out searching for him.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Kyo hung up the phone. * I should…I should go look for him. No one else would do it…it wouldn’t be good for Haru to spend another three days wandering about like he did that one time…that one time he came all that way for me…I mean…to fight me…
Well at least wandering about might help clear his head….
--------
*Haru, where are you?* Kyo thought, getting worried. * It will be dark soon…*
He walked along the busy streets as people rushed home from work or a day out with the family…
Kyo glanced across the street and froze. White hair with black underneath…there was no one else it could be…* Haru…*
The boy turned around from examining the directions signpost as if sensing someone was looking at him.
“Haru…” Kyo whispered and their eyes met. Grey eyes locked with red, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away. His heart thudded against his chest, his blood rushed in his ears. He wanted to run towards Haru and away from him all at the same time…
So focused on only one person was Kyo that he didn’t realise there was a little girl heading his way until it was too late…
The girl, chasing one of her friends and not looking where she was going, ran fully into Kyo. There was a puff of smoke and then an orange cat appeared.
*Oh crap…* Kyo looked up in horror at the little girl who was now towering above him.
Her eyes went wide at what she had just seen. “Kitty!” she squealed lunging for him.
*Help!* Kyo turned and dashed in the opposite direction, which just so happened to be across the road. *I hope no one else saw that…* he thought, forgetting about his pile of clothes still left on the other side, intent simply on getting away…
Time seemed to slow down as Haru watched the scene unfold before him. He stood frozen as a car came squealing around the bend and slammed right into Kyo’s body. The cat went flying off to one side, and the car continued on as if nothing had happened. Haru found himself moving…. *Kyo please be all right! *
Other people had noticed the wounded cat, lying motionless on the ground and they moved towards him. In a flash, Haru was at his side, scooping Kyo up in his arms. “He’s mine.” He told the people who were watching him. “I’ll take care of him.”
Haru clutched the cat to his chest. *I’ve got to bring him to Hatori to make sure he’s ok.*. But what direction? As night descended upon them, he found himself in the forest near Shigure’s house. *How did I get here?* Haru continued to wandered around, but only succeeded in becoming more lost, it was a moonless night, the forest was dark… and his sense of direction was terrible…
It began to rain. Hard.
Haru groaned, looking at Kyo, knowing the cat hated the rain. There was a slight bump on his head but it seemed that Kyo would be all right once he woke up from the shock, though the rain might keep him sluggish for a while.
Haru settled under a thick broad-leaved plant that offered some shelter from the heavy rain pelting the ground. He tried to keep Kyo dry as best he could…
Haru yawned. He felt like he had hardly slept in days….
He ran his hand down the cat’s back. *He’s so soft…I feel as though I could pet him forever…*
* Poof! *
A puff of orange smoke and Kyo was back in his human form. Haru blushed slightly at the naked boy he found in his arms. Gently, he shrugged off his long white jacked and wrapped it around Kyo, continuing to hold him close. *I should leave…* his mind told him… *I should leave before Black Haru comes back…* But he couldn’t just leave Kyo here, and for some reason…he felt totally calm right now, with no sign of Black Haru emerging, as if the other side of him was at peace too…
Kyo slowly awoke to the feel of strong arms wrapped around him tightly, protectively. He sighed, nuzzling the person’s arm.
“Kyo…?” it was a voice…it sounded so familiar… the voice he had wanted to hear…the only one he wanted to hear… Kyo blearily opened his eyes.
“Mmm.”
“Kyo?”
“Haru…” Kyo mumbled, eyelids dropping again.
Haru smiled, relieved that Kyo seemed to be okay. *I’ll just let him sleep now, watch him till it gets light at then I’ll go… *
Haru’s eyelids started to close, and he forced them open. *Can’t fall asleep!* But not long after, they began to droop once more…
---------
The next morning…
Haru awoke to a pair of deep red eyes staring at him.
Kyo stilled as he became aware of his surroundings. He was lying on the ground, Haru next to him, his arm draped around his waist, holding him close. The sun shone brightly down on them. Kyo blinked, confused. Was this a dream? But if it was a dream…why did his head hurt so much, as if a truck had hit it?
All at once Haru leapt back, putting some distance between himself and Kyo. *Oh no…oh no, did I do it again?*
“Kyo…” he said in a chocked voice, “Did I….did I do anything to you last night?”
He felt his blood run cold as Kyo simply continued to stare at him.
*What on earth is the baka blabbering on about…* Kyo was thinking. Then he remembered. Searching for Haru. The little girl. The car. * Haru…Haru looked after me…* Kyo stared up in wonder, too dazed to say anything.
*He’s still staring at me… like he’s frightened or too disturbed to do anything…what have I done?! *
Haru sighed, he hadn’t wanted it to be like this…but there was no good or easy way to do it.
“Kyo…” he began, knowing it would never be enough, “I’m…” his eye’s glistened. “I never meant…I never meant to do those things to you… I guess I never realised how uncontrollable my other side could get… I know I can’t pretend that it wasn’t my fault…but I just wanted you to know that I’m really sorry.”
Haru closed his eyes, unable to look at Kyo, too afraid to see the expression on his face. “I hope your feeling okay now. Get Shigure to call Hatori or something once you get to his house. I’m pretty sure its close by.” Haru got up.
Kyo opened his mouth, trying to say something, but no sound came out. *No*, he mouthed, as Haru walked away. * No…*
“No!” finally it came out.
“Haru wait! “ Kyo cried. “Please…please don’t leave me!”
But it was too late, Haru had already gone.
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Aww, poor Kyo. Quite a few chapters end with Haru leaving him don’t they! *cries* hopefully it won’t always be that way! :D please continue to review!