Slices of Life

Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. My life has been far more hectic than it has a right to be. Many apologies to you, my darlings.

This chapter has been sitting on my hard drive collecting dust for about 3 months. I was hoping my darling Kri*Kri would have time to clean it up, but she is maxed out, so I am short my Suguru beta for it. I have leaned on Ashcat pretty heavily, but remember, any mistakes are mine!

Slices of Life


Chapter 5
Nobody Hurts You


I try to pull my weight, study my geography
It doesn't seem to get me anywhere
I hold a picture up, everybody thinks it's me
I get a thrill out of tampering with the atmosphere
Hey baby, I'm out of favour
Can't always be the right flavour
It just seems that no matter what you do
Someone, somewhere’s suddenly gotta punish you

Nobody hurts you
Harder than yourself

You make me tag along, run into the rent-a-crowd
But they're just imitation
I try to write the song, you and me are laughing loud
But it comes out frustration
No one's going to illuminate you
All the odds are stacked against you
You're just cavin' in, right there in front of me
It's a picture I don't ever want to see

Nobody hurts you
Harder than yourself

***********************************

Suguru stood still, his eyes closed and his breathing ragged. His fingers clutched something metal, cold and heavy. There was a tinkling sound of glass breaking nearby. He breathed in, breathed out, soothing himself, centering his thoughts and calming his raging emotions.

Then, he opened his eyes.

He was clutching a floor lamp, holding it crosswise like a quarterstaff. The room around him was smashed and shattered. Suguru alone was responsible for the demolition he faced. He was not drunk nor on drugs, his room’s condition was not due to a party or a brawl. He had no excuses, no explanations he’d simply destroyed it. In a fit of anger, he had picked up a lamp and swung it, wielding it like a weapon and wrecking everything in his path.

Now that he was finished, he realized he didn’t feel any better. What he did feel was a growing sense of embarrassment and humiliation. He gazed at a pulverized mirror, a splintered desk and a bad painting hanging crooked on the wall and wondered at his idiocy. There would be no way to hide this from K, and he’d hear about it for the rest of his days.

Suguru chewed on his lip and considered how ironically absurd life was. Always before when he mused on the ridiculous, his thoughts turned to Shuichi. Now, however, Suguru was uncomfortable with his new understanding of his band mate. Suguru suspected it was something like his current feelings that had driven Shuichi to those stupid, childish outbursts during those horrid months of his separation from Yuki-san. Was it possible Shuichi experienced the same all-consuming helpless anger? Did the singer’s pain and confusion make him capable of trying anything to fill up the emptiness inside? Suguru remembered with clarity Shuichi's abuse of many innocent, non-involved hotel rooms.

Strange. Suguru never thought he’d be able to identify with Shuichi. Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming kinship with the crazy singer.

Carefully, almost reverently, he replaced the ruined lamp to its exact place in a corner. Bent and unbalanced, the tall lamp, once released, simply fell over. The television was an unfortunate recipient of the lamp’s fall and when metal struck glass, there was a subsequent mild explosion.

Gazing at the now ruined television, watching sparks leap from a busted glass screen, all he could think of to say was; “Curious.” He said it aloud and to no one but himself because, of course, he was alone.

His single regret over the past twenty-four hours was that his heart continued to beat. Pain and sorrow unexpectedly did not break it as he thought and his blood did not cease flowing through his veins. He did not understand why he had not simply collapsed and died from the crushing weight of his heartbreak.

Not for the first time, he considered how much easier life would be if he was Seguchi Tohma. He wanted to be Tohma, cold and calculating, calm and reserved, allowing nothing to touch him emotionally. Suguru chuckled; embracing his madness, and realizing even Tohma cared about some people so he must have a heart. Perhaps the god of rock’s heart was abnormally small, like the Grinch’s, but ironically, he must have one. Suguru threw back his head and laughed at life’s absurdities.

What would he do now? His life as he knew it was over. His lovers were surely done with him and there was no way he could continue being a member of Bad Luck. Shuichi might try to kill him for hurting Hiroshi and Kyosuke. There was never much love between Bad Luck's keyboardist and singer anyway. Everyone knew Shuichi would be glad to see Suguru gone.

Outsider. That was Suguru’s legacy. He had never fit in, never known how to fit in. Sitting down on an arm of the couch, he chewed on his lip again. He could feel the pull of dried tears on his cheeks but he was done with tears, now was a time for action. He needed a plan. First, he would speak with Tohma, securing a replacement keyboardist for Bad Luck. For now, he would go back to Japan or maybe check with XMR in London. No, not London, maybe New York would be better. Yes, he would relocate and start over. Maybe he would even change his name; he didn’t like his name much anyway.

The first replacement name that flitted through his brain was Inoue, followed closely by Nakano. Sighing, he mentally pushed that dead dream away.

He looked at his hands. They were speckled with blood and sparkling with tiny pieces of glass. He made his way to the bathroom and washed them clean. Contact with the warm water made his skin sting a bit, reminding him that he was alive. A wave of panic seized him and he bent over, trying to regain control from the dizziness that blurred his vision, caused his heart to pound, and his breaths to come in gasps. He hadn’t had a full on anxiety attack in months and he’d forgotten how terrifying they were. He knew lying down would only make his condition worse – he had to do something. He desperately needed to find a piano and he staggered towards the hotel door. As he reached for the doorknob, someone knocked and he took a startled step backwards.

Hiroshi’s soft, loving voice called to him through the door. “Suguru? Will you let me in?”

His panic mounted again, his vision fragmenting and his equilibrium fading, but this time he fought it. He reached for what he had left inside and embraced it, pure anger flooded through him. Why wouldn’t Hiroshi just stay away?

Hiro’s low voice dropped further, dipping into a realm where Suguru was nearly helpless to resist. “Come on, ‘Guru-kun, we need to talk. Please let me in.” Hiro’s calm voice soothed him and he closed his eyes, seeing Hiroshi’s concerned expression. Didn’t Suguru want Hiroshi to love him again?

No, not anymore. “Go away!” He shouted and grabbed the nearest object, a hotel directory and flung it at the door. He didn’t want this pain anymore, he wanted New York, or maybe somewhere on the West Coast in the US, to change his name to Alex or maybe Raoul and become a reclusive hermit. A respected and successful jazz studio musician who never allowed his picture taken and was shrouded in mystery. The tabloids would speculate on how he’d come to be such an enigma.

He sighed. His thoughts were pure, self-indulgent foolishness. In truth, he wanted Hiroshi and Kyosuke in his life, more than he'd wanted anything before. Right now, however, he wasn’t sure he deserved them. Or that they deserved him. On the other hand, he really didn’t enjoy emulating Shuichi, crying and making scenes like he was lately. Suguru was stronger than that and still wished to believe he didn’t need anyone.

Beyond the door, Suguru heard K say, “It’s Shuichi all over again.”

His vision blurred and a pounding in Suguru’s temples nearly made his head explode. He picked up a chair and hurled it with all his furious might at the door. It broke on impact and he shouted, “I am NOT Shuichi!”

A few minutes of silence passed before he heard Hiro’s gentle voice again. “’Guru-kun, let me in.”

Suguru’s only response was to sneer at the door.

“Fine,” Hiro said with the same soft tone. “One way or another, I’m coming in.”

There was a loud crash at his door and Suguru took another step back. He could hear K’s raucous laughter and Tony’s much more subdued chuckle. After a moment, he pressed his ear against the door, listening to the two men tease Hiroshi about trying to break down the door. Had Hiroshi gone crazy?

Suguru backed away, and when the second crash sounded, he retreated into his bedroom, and locking his door. He sat on his bed, folded his legs under him and waited. Had Hiroshi lost his mind? Had they all lost their minds? Kyosuke was gods knew where, Hiroshi was performing some testosterone-laden idiocy and Suguru sat sulking in his bedroom like some jealous girl, or even worse, like Shuichi. What happened to their strong trio? When did it all start to unravel?

He heard the inevitable sound of the door tearing away from the woodwork and closed his eyes. This was the most ridiculous situation he’d ever experienced. Part of him was mortified, knowing they would be the butt of K’s jokes for months and part of him felt a little thrill over Hiroshi’s absurd territorial display. Under it all, he was still hurt, angry and confused. His brain ached from attempting to sort out all his different emotions.

He also had no point of reference to draw upon. Hiroshi was his first love and Kyosuke his second. Sure, he’d been attracted to other people, but he’d never loved them. What did you do in a situation like this? Books could help you with sex and learning about your partner’s interests, but now, he had no idea what to do. Relationships were harder than he ever thought possible.

“Damn it!” He hissed to himself, pulling his knees closer to his chest, desperately trying to tap into some centering power.

“’Guru-kun?” Hiroshi’s voice was outside the flimsy bedroom door.

“I told you to go away!” His grating words to Hiroshi were cruel and false, causing him to wince. He reached for his centering again and the mediation he’d learned in his yoga class, but any calming influence slipped between his fingers like a London fog. What he really needed was a piano; he needed music.

Almost in answer to Suguru’s burning need for music, he heard Hiroshi strumming chords on his acoustic guitar. Initially Suguru was startled, he wanted to rage, wanted to pout with righteous indignation some more, but the music… well, it was their music. Suguru and Hiroshi’s music, with occasional sensual bits of Kyosuke’s unpredictability thrown in, embellishing the sound. He waited, still wanting his anger, still expecting disappointment from his lover, but nothing Hiroshi played on his guitar had anything to do with Shuichi.

Nothing. Did that mean Hiroshi understood? Of course Hiroshi understood. Hiroshi knew him better than anyone did, Suguru had simply forgotten.

He collapsed onto his back and stared at the ceiling, allowing the music to caress him, to wrap him up like a blanket. His lover’s playing normally contained emotion, but he rarely played with such gentle determination. Hiroshi was wooing him, courting him, and Suguru couldn’t help feeling pleased with experiencing his boyfriend’s rarely seen romantic side.

Nearly an hour of the serenade went on before Suguru heard Hiroshi’s low and soft singing. Hiro was surprisingly shy about his voice, always deferring to Kyosuke’s stronger one. Suguru loved Hiroshi’s singing, partly because Hiroshi sounded good and partly because Hiroshi only allowed certain people to hear him. Suguru concentrated on listening; realizing he had never heard the song before. Brimming with words and expressions of love, Suguru began to understand the song was about him.

He remembered a night, not long ago, when Kyosuke was out of town. Suguru and Hiroshi had an overwhelming emotional bout of lovemaking. Afterwards, Suguru slept next to his lover, curled on his side while Hiroshi strummed his guitar and sang. Suguru had dozed then, exhausted from their intense sex, but now he knew the song Hiroshi played was the song he’d written that night.

A song written specifically for him. Suguru sat up and as the last note hung in the air, he slid off the bed and opened the bedroom door.

Hiroshi looked up, shook his hair out of his face and said quietly, “There you are. I thought I would have to play all night.”

A colorful bruise was on Hiroshi’s beautiful left cheek and Suguru felt his eyes fill with tears. He blinked furiously to clear them. “Hiroshi, I hope you have that song written down somewhere. I don’t want to try and recreate it from memory.”

“Of course I wrote it down,” Hiroshi said with a chuckle. Then he stood up, gently placing his guitar in a chair and turning to face Suguru. “I’m so sorry, ‘Guru-kun. I’ve been an idiot.”

Suguru hung his head, his shoulders quivering as he tried to contain his emotions. “I thought you didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t want to be alone again. I didn’t want to get in your way. I didn’t know what to do... I still don't.”

Hiro wrapped his arms around Suguru and rubbed his back. “I know. But I do love you. I’m sorry I gave you room to doubt.”

Suguru clutched at Hiro, his grip almost painful as he hung on, his knees weak and his body shaking with sobs. Suguru was confused. He didn’t cry. Of the three of them, he was the least likely to cry and now here he was, acting like Shuichi again. His tears stopped with that thought. “You are a prick, sometimes. Do you know that, Hiroshi?”

Hiro chuckled and then nuzzled at Suguru’s neck. “Yes, I do.”

“Don’t do that,” Suguru insisted halfheartedly.

Hiro pulled back, his eyes sparkling. “Make up sex is the best, ‘Guru-kun.”

Suguru rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t know. You’re usually ‘making up’ with Kyosuke, not me.”

“You are so sexy when you are jealous.” Hiroshi licked at his neck this time.

Fighting a moan, but loving the comforting feel of Hiroshi’s arms wrapped around him, he said, “I’m not convinced we are at the making up point, yet.”

“Sure we are,” Hiroshi whispered in his ear. “You want me, I can tell. I’d throw you down right here, but there’s glass everywhere and your front door is broken.”

“There’s always the bedroom,” Suguru said with a shrug, giving in completely, but trying to maintain the appearance of ambivalence. “If you were really serious about it, that is.”

Hiroshi grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bedroom, door closing behind them. He pressed Suguru onto the bed, tearing at both of their clothes in the process. Suguru’s cock began to throb almost immediately with desperate desire. Hiroshi and him were about to make love and Suguru felt overwhelming relief. He felt whole, again.

“Wait,” Suguru said, fumbling for his jeans, attempting to halt Hiroshi’s destruction of his clothing. “Let me take off…”

“No,” Hiroshi growled and slapped away his hands. “I’m doing it.”

“But shouldn’t I…”

“No! Be quiet.” Hiroshi tugged off Suguru’s pants, grabbed his freed erection, and squeezed.

“Ow! Easy, Hiroshi.”

“Like hell,” Hiroshi said his voice thick with passion and he squeezed again. “We both know you like pain, maybe more than I do. You deny it, but we know it, you and me, don’t we?”

“I… Hiroshi, don’t.” Suguru squirmed in embarrassment, guilt and shame filled him.

“Especially when you are needy like you are now. It took me a while to figure it out, but when you are insecure, your pretty, nasty little head fills up with rape fantasies, doesn’t it? You want Kyosuke and me to fuck you mercilessly. You want us to hold you down while you struggle and you want us to take turns with you. You want us to hurt you; because, somehow, that proves something to you, but you won’t admit to it. Why?” The gray eyes delved into him, peeling away his layers, getting into his twisted head. “You can’t possibly think that makes you stranger than us, do you?”

Suguru felt dry fingers between his legs and he panicked. “Hiroshi, I still need some lube!”

“I see.” Hiroshi sat back, knowing smile on his face. “Take off what’s left of your clothes.”

Suguru nodded, his face heating while he stood and disrobed. Gods, Hiroshi did know him. What’s more, Hiroshi knew and didn’t appear disgusted by Suguru’s weirdness.

Hiroshi lay on his side watching. His voice softened when he asked, “Why, ‘Guru-kun? Why do you hide so much of yourself from us? You were lonely and hurting, trying so desperately to please us, slowly burning yourself out. Why would you do that? Why would you risk our relationship?”

Standing naked before his lover, a barrage of hard questions thrown at him, his erection flagged. Maybe he did disgust Hiroshi.

Hiro reached out and pulled him onto the bed, cuddling him close, face to face. Brushing back Suguru’s short hair, he whispered into his ear. “Why can’t you tell us you don’t trust us?”

“I do…” he felt his eyes sting again, the prick of gathering tears.

“No, you don’t.” Hiro kissed his forehead, still smoothing back his hair. “It’s okay if you don’t, ‘Guru. We’ve given you many reasons not to, but please don’t pretend you do. Trust can take a long, long time. Kyosuke and I both understand.”

“I want to trust you, and I do about some things.” Suguru sighed, knowing what he said was a lie. “Okay, maybe I don’t. I don’t know how.” And I’m so weird, he wanted to add.

Hiroshi chuckled. “So you are human after all. That’s quite a surprise for you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want to be like Shuichi.”

Hiroshi laughed aloud with Suguru’s declaration. “You are many things, Fujisaki Suguru, but resembling Shuichi is not one of them.”

Suguru thought those might be the sweetest words his lover had ever said to him. He suddenly felt lighter and his mind seemed to clear. He tenderly cupped Hiroshi’s bruised cheek. “I love you, Nakano Hiroshi.”

Hiroshi pressed him onto his back, kissing Suguru deeply, pushing his tongue deep inside with a moan. When he broke the kiss, Hiroshi said, “I want you. Right now. Do you want me?”

Suguru nodded.

“Really? Show me.”

Suguru spread his legs and raised his hips, his erection returning with speed. “Do you have lube?”

“I do.” Hiro grinned at him and stood, pulling a small bottle from his pocket before shedding the remainder of his clothing.

“Sure of yourself, weren’t you?” Suguru frowned at his lover. “Kyosuke’s definitely rubbed off.”

“Hmm.” Hiro mused; positioning himself between Suguru’s spread thighs. While he opened the small bottle of lube and smeared his fingers, he added, “I suppose we’ll have to fetch his sorry ass next. Right now, though, we have other matters requiring attention.”

Suguru cried out when Hiro’s middle finger jabbed inside him. Hiro didn’t give any warning and the sudden intrusion bordered on pain and something else, something not even Suguru expected entirely. “Oh!”

“Yeah, I thought so,” Hiro chuckled.

A second finger plunged inside him and it did hurt, but not enough to disrupt his hard-on, just enough to make it harder. With a shift of his hips and a wanton moan, he called out to his lover. “Hiroshi, please.”

Fingers disappeared and he felt Hiroshi’s cock at his entrance. Suguru had never taken in a cock with so little preparation; sure, there was some lube, but not much. With one push, Hiroshi filled him and he nearly screamed, pain and pleasure merging into one, impossible for him to draw the line. This was the experience of his dreams and fantasies, buried deep, his secret shame.

“Fuck, you are tight like this,” Hiroshi panted once he was fully inside. He pulled his cock out before Suguru could acclimate, and then slammed inside again. And again. Hiroshi studied him closely, Suguru assumed he was watching for distress, but instead he asked, “Is this what you wanted when you asked us to hurt you?”

Suguru felt delirious, loving the pain and mortification, and getting the raw fuck of a lifetime. “Y…yes.”

“Kyosuke’s bigger. When he does you, holy gods, I want to watch, ‘Guru-kun. Your face is so sexy when I fill you up like this. When he does it, with that big cock of his, I’ll bet you’ll be screaming.”

“Uh, he won’t,” Suguru grunted his answer and shook his head for emphasis, in spite of Hiroshi’s constant, forceful thrusts. “He’ll be freaked out, he’s squeamish. He’ll think I’m weird.”

Hiro pulled Suguru’s left leg up and pressed it to his right leg, pushing Suguru onto his side, making his passage tighter, making Hiroshi’s cock feel bigger. “You assume too much. He will do it. When he sees your expression, this expression of bliss, he’ll fuck you all night with minimum lube and you’ll be begging for more. I wish he was here right now to see this.”

Suguru felt his orgasm build with his lover’s words, raw and full of embarrassing truth. Hiroshi might not have quite the lovemaking skills Kyosuke had, but he did have the dirty mouth. Suguru loved that.

“Maybe you want us both at the same time,” Hiroshi said, leaning over and breathing in Suguru’s ear. “That might give you enough pain and pleasure to satisfy you, both of us inside you, stretching you wide open.”

Suguru saw the image in his head. Somehow, both of his lovers would be inside him at the same time. His orgasm burst from him, his body shaking with his spasms of his speedy climax.

Hiroshi gently moved Suguru’s sweat-soak, exhausted and pliant body onto his back. Smoothing back Suguru’s hair once again, Hiro grinned. “I thought you might like that idea, My cock along side Kyosuke’s, stuffed inside your tight ass, just thinking about it makes me ache to come.”

Suguru’s cock was amazingly still hard and Hiroshi’s words made him twitch with need again.

“Don’t worry, I’m not done with you, yet.” Hiroshi nipped at him, and looped his arms under Suguru’s knees, folding his lover in half before he began to move again. “Yes, you are limber, aren’t you? Yoga is marvelous and I’m sure it will help when you take both of us.”

“Hiroshi.” Suguru clung to his lover, feeling his body respond and his orgasm rising again while Hiroshi took his time. “Love me.”

“I do love you, ‘Guru-kun.” He nuzzled at Suguru’s neck and slid his hand around Suguru’s hard cock, Hiro’s thumb stroking his dripping slit. Suguru groaned in response. “Are you close to coming again? I can feel you, tight, hard and wet.”

Suguru arched into Hiroshi’s body. “Just a little more.”

“Whenever you’re ready,” Hiroshi panted and twisted his hips, rubbing against Suguru’s prostate with a skill they’d both learned from Kyosuke. His hand around Suguru’s cock, began pumping in time with his strokes. “Right now, I feel like I could do this all night.”

Suguru’s body stiffened and he felt Hiroshi expand and harden inside him, stretching him open further. “Uh, I’m coming…”

“I know,” Hiroshi said with a shiver, closing his eyes, his hips suddenly snapping faster. “I am, too.”

“I love you,” Suguru managed to choke out, while feeling Hiroshi spill inside him.

They lay in bed afterwards, their bodies cooling, sticky and sweaty and both temporarily unmotivated to shower or move. Hiroshi propped himself up on one elbow and ran his long fingers over Suguru’s skin, pausing at a love bite on his neck. “That guy you were with said these hickeys were from Kyosuke and me.”

Suguru smiled and Hiroshi’s jealousy flared, causing his gray eyes to turn the color of a rising tempest storm. Kyosuke always commented on Hiroshi’s storm-colored eyes, loving their expressive nature. Suguru did, too, realizing he felt warmed by Hiroshi’s jealousy. “You gave me that hickey you are touching now.”

Hiroshi raised an eyebrow and gazed at Suguru with suspicion. “You know who gave you which hickey?”

Laughing, Suguru closed his eyes, allowing the calming pleasure he felt to wash over him and fill him, finally finding his centering space. “Of course I know who gave me which hickey.”

“All right.” Hiroshi smiled at the challenge and moved his fingers to Suguru’s hips. “What about this one?”

“Kyosuke.” Suguru answered, opening his eyes and touching a fading love bite on Hiroshi’s hip in return. “Haven’t you noticed? Kyosuke is a maniac for hipbones.”

“Yes. He is fond of that spot.” A shadow crossed Hiroshi’s face. “He doesn’t think you love him, you know.”

Suguru ran a hand through his shaggy hair. He really needed a trim. “Kyosuke is an idiot.”

Hiroshi placed his head on Suguru’s chest and continued to play his fingers over flesh. “I can’t argue with you about Kyosuke’s stupidity, but I will take exception if you begin attacking his weaknesses. He thought you trusted him, I think that was quite a blow to him. Don’t forget, ‘Guru-kun, all three of us have emotional scars and Kyosuke’s run deep.”

“I know, Hiroshi, but has it crossed your mind that he might not be truthful with us or himself?” Suguru inhaled, bracing himself for Hiroshi’s probable denial. “Do you really feel he could have gotten over Shuichi so quickly?”

The room fell quiet and the pause continued until Suguru began to wonder if his lover had fallen asleep. “Hiroshi?”

Hiro’s voice was soft and serious when he said, “I don’t think he’s over Shu. He might never be. Right now, yes, I believe he’s denying it.” Hiroshi sat up, folding his legs and taking Suguru’s right hand. “I know you feel we are only Shuichi-replacements, ‘Guru, but I don’t think that’s an accurate assessment.”

Suguru blinked in mystification at his lover.

Hiroshi chuckled in response. “I’m not blind, you know, only selfish. I know what’s going on with you and with Kyosuke both. I’m just not sure what to do about it.” He poked Suguru on the forehead. “You are jealous of lingering feelings for Shu from both Kyosuke and me, that’s painfully obvious. Kyosuke is on unfamiliar ground, suddenly in a relationship that requires a commitment, and he’s terrified he’ll screw it up and lose us. He thinks you only love me. You think he only loves me. I think I’m too emotionally fragile to help anyone and think you’re both crazy. So there you have it, three people in a mess.”

“I miss him,” Suguru said.

“I do, too.” Hiroshi smiled at him. “I love you both, you know.”

“I know.” Suguru nodded.

“Do you love us both?”

Suguru didn’t require any time to consider the question. “Yes, I do.”

“Good. Then we need to go get him after I sleep.”

Touching Hiroshi’s bruised cheek he said, “I’m sorry.”

Hiroshi captured his hand and kissed Suguru’s palm. “No, you’re not. I had it coming.”

“Well, yeah, you did.” Suguru looked down. “But I did behave a little wildly, myself.”

“Yeah, what was up with that?” Hiroshi frowned. “How could you just run off with the first guy who came along?”

Suguru shrugged. “I got to see how Kyosuke lived before us. And Hunter was hot.”

Hiroshi glared until Suguru started to laugh. “Oh, stop it. I didn’t sleep with Hunter, Hiro, I threw up on him.”

“He came by the house you know. To return your shirt and to check on you.” Hiroshi said with a scowl.

“He did?”

“Yes. He told me the whole story. He’s a smug bastard. He slept with Kyosuke, you know.”

“Yes.” Suguru laughed again. “I know. Ten years ago. Besides, who in Europe hasn’t slept with Kyosuke?”

“Good point.” Hiroshi sighed in resignation. “I don’t like him, though.”

Suguru leaned forward and kissed his lover. “I know.”

Cupping Suguru’s face, Hiro’s gray eyes held him in place. “He touched you. He kissed you. I don’t like that, Suguru. It’s an ugly feeling.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.” Suguru swallowed, taking in the stormy gaze, reveling in Hiroshi’s jealousy. “I promise, it won’t happen again.”

Hiroshi stared at Suguru for a long time, hurricanes and holocausts tumbled in the tempestuous storm of his gray eyes before he finally nodded in understanding. Pulling Suguru’s compliant body close, Hiro wrapped his long legs around him, longhair brushing against Suguru’s skin as they cuddled. Hiro sighed, his body relaxing. “I’ll hold you to your promise. I think you and me are done with this conversation now, but Kyosuke might have more to add.”

“Agreed.” Suguru replied, leaning into his lover and placing his head just under Hiroshi’s chin. He inhaled their combined earthy and recent-sex scent, feeling at peace. Suguru breathed, allowing his thoughts reign, not holding back. “Hiroshi, how do you feel about that other guy, the one at the bar?” Suguru’s couldn’t stop his voice from tightening. “The one who looked like Shuichi.”

“Oh, hey! That’s what it was!” Hiro pulled away and looked Suguru in the eye. “I was trying to figure out why he seemed so familiar. He did remind me of Shu now that you mention it. What was his name?”

“Rhys,” Suguru answered flatly.

Hiroshi’s smile faded. “Oh, ‘Guru-kun, he wasn’t that much like Shu.”

“He slept with Kyosuke,” Suguru hissed.

Hiroshi began to laugh. “Shall I repeat your own words back to you? Who in Europe hasn’t Kyosuke slept with?”

“I know but…why doesn’t that guy bother you?” Suguru pursed his lips and fell silent.

Long strong arms wrapped around him again. “You are unbelievably sexy when you are jealous. Kyosuke will be over the moon when he finds out about this.”

Suguru shook his head. “Kyosuke doesn’t get jealous.”

“Yes he does. He didn’t know it until he thought you and his friend were sleeping together. Didn’t you see him? He could barely deal with the thought, ‘Guru. I think that really threw him.” Hiroshi flopped onto the bed, his hand still resting on Suguru’s thigh. “I’m so tired. I need to sleep.”

Suguru thought about it, remembering with a stab of guilty pain, the look of devastation and shock on Kyosuke’s face. After a few moments, he finally stood up and reached for his phone. “Get up, Hiroshi. We need to take a shower. You can sleep in the car.”

“What?”

“Yeah, Tony?” Suguru said into his cell phone. “Can you take us to Kyosuke? Yes. Give us about an hour and we’ll need clothes for Hiroshi. Okay. See you then.” He hung up and gazed at his lover. “Come on, let’s shower and get ready.”

“Are you kidding? I’m exhausted.”

“Too bad.” Suguru narrowed his eyes. “Kyosuke is somewhere in Germany, driving like a lunatic.”

“I know,” Hiroshi said, closing his eyes. “He’ll still be there if we leave in the morning.”

Suguru place a hand on his naked hip. “But will he be alone?”

Hiroshi’s eyes snapped open and he sat up. “Let’s shower. I can sleep in the car.”

Suguru nodded and the two made their way to the bathroom.

“What’s this?” Hiroshi said, eyeing the silver-colored Mercedes S class with distrust.

“Mine,” Suguru answered.

“Yours?” Hiroshi blinked. “Since when?”

“A couple of weeks.” Suguru avoided expanding on the subject.

“You have a license?”

“Of course.”

“Who taught you?”

Suguru pursed his lips. “I took lessons.”

Tony laughed.

Hiroshi turned to the bodyguard. “Tony, did you teach him?”

Tony shook his head, but continued to smile.

Frowning, Hiroshi turned to Suguru. “Who taught you?”

Suguru shrugged. “Some guy. Tohma hooked me up. He’s supposed to be good. Let’s go.”

Hiroshi looked at Tony. The big man nodded, opening the Mercedes’ door and gesturing for Hiroshi to get it. “His instructor is good.”

Relaxing, Hiroshi slid into the most luxurious car he’d ever seen.

Tony grinned and just before he closed the door he said, “Suguru-san’s instructor is good, for a grand prix driver, anyway.”

Hiroshi’s eyes went wide. “What?” He twisted his head around when he heard the engine engage. “What!?”

Suguru grinned and gunned the engine. “Don’t worry, Hiro-chan. This is the safest car there is. There will be no dangerous motorcycles or crazy, illegally modified cars for me.” He gunned the V12, the engine responded with quiet power. “See, it doesn’t really growl like any of Kyosuke’s cars. It purrs. Someone has to be the responsible person in the group.”

Hiroshi clutched at his seatbelt; Suguru could see his knuckles were turning white. “Well, at least we’ll go together.”

Suguru laughed with pure, evil joy, throwing the car into reverse. “Don’t worry, it tops out at a mere 155 miles an hour.” For a moment, he considered that maybe, just maybe, he was more like Seguchi Tohma than Shindou Shuichi and he laughed again.

A day and a half later, exhausted and both needing showers, they pulled into the parking lot of a small pub in a small town in Switzerland. They parked next to Tony and stepped out of the now dirty Mercedes. Nakamura moved silkily between the cars towards them. Suguru never thought he’d be so happy to see the dour, taciturn man. Seeing Nakamura meant Kyosuke was definitely inside the small pub. Suguru smiled at Hiroshi and together they gazed at the door.

“He’s drunk.” Nakamura spoke succinctly. “Angry. Sad.”

Suguru nodded his understanding.

Tony looked at the Japanese bodyguard closely and spoke in a language not Mandarin, Japanese or English. Suguru strained his ears as they exchanged words. Nakamura tipped his head and stared at Suguru for several minutes before replying.

“Hey! Do we need to be worried here, or what?” Hiroshi asked, impatience laced through his words.

Tony shrugged and spoke to Suguru in Mandarin, “Would that stop you?”

Suguru shook his head, suddenly feeling very sad. Kyosuke was in bad shape if his two bodyguards were worried about him. He studied the parking lot, realizing Kyosuke’s Aston Martin wasn’t present and that was additionally worrisome. Suguru finally responded to Kyosuke’s bodyguards in Japanese. “No, being worried won’t stop us. He needs us now, doesn’t he?”

Nakamura’s expression was grim and then inexplicably, he bowed.

“What the fuck?” Hiroshi exclaimed.

“Yes,” Suguru answered, tugging on Hiroshi’s arm, now feeling afraid. “What the fuck is what I want to know, too. Come on.”

The two stepped through the door of the pub together.


TBC


Lyrics for Nobody Hurts You by Graham Parker (sooner or later, I had to have at least one of the angry young men…)