Loving Shu
folder
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
2,239
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
2,239
Reviews:
11
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
A Captive's Thoughts
A/N Okay guys. Just to let you know. All chapters that have to do with Shuichi's time in captivity will be told from his point of view. Also, I'm kinda sad you guys don't like Aly. (Sobs in the corner) She's my favorite OC and I use her in a lot of stories. I'm hoping I can convince you guys to change your minds. She really not that bad and she's pretty much the only one who's going to be able to save Shuichi. (Drys tears) Anyways! On with the fic and enjoy.
Shuichi’s P.O.V.
It’s been two days; two days since I was taken, two days since I had contact with another living soul. I was stupid, the baka that Eiri is always calling me. I was angry, upset, that Eiri had reverted to tactics that he hasn’t used since he got his sight back after the accident with Riku. I didn’t know it could hurt that much, him reverting like that. The last five years have been wonderful.
Eiri will never be an expressive lover and that’s okay. I love him for who he is, but in the last five years I thought our relationship had matured. We still fight but he no longer (or didn’t) shuts me out like he used to. Eiri’s gotten better at telling me what he really feels and I’ve learned, I think, to judge his moods; to know when to back off and give him his space. What bothered me most was that I missed the signs. I knew he was jealous of Aly-chan (Though he has no need to be, she treats me like a younger brother), but I was so caught up in my need to tell him what she had told me that I stopped thinking. I was stupid, for pushing him too hard and for going out alone afterwards, even when I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t stay there any longer!
He hurt me. First, with his lack of trust. Seven years we’ve been together and not once, not ONCE, have I ever looked at another person. The problem with Ryuichi doesn’t count. I was never attracted to Ryu, I admired him, wanted to be like him and his desire of me caught me by surprise but I never wanted him in the way I want Eiri. Despite my complete and total faithfulness he still doesn’t trust me, or he thinks I’m so stupid that I’ll be tricked into bed. HE’S the one who cheated on me those first two years, slept with women casually. I was lover number one but not the only one. I allowed myself to be raped for him (after he had thrown me away I might add) and still he can’t trust me. His lack of faith, quite seriously, was starting to break my heart. Especially since it was over nothing. Aly-chan never once hit on me. Most people do, male and female. There are many reasons, because I’m famous, or cute or hot or rich, (or because I’m sleeping with Yuki Eiri and sleeping with me is the closest they’ll get to him.) but Eiri isn’t jealous of them, he’s jealous of the one person who just wants to be my friend. Sure I have other friends, Hiro, Suguru, K-san, Sakano and Ryu, (Even Tatsuha) are great but Aly-chan was the first friend I made after I became famous. She’s also the only one who doesn’t treat me like I’m stupid or childish.
I’m not, stupid or childish. I act that way sometimes but at this point it’s mostly out of habit. This is, of course, my second problem. Eiri treated me like a child. I know I’m naïve and far too trusting. I know he worries about me, especially after what happened in that club three years ago, but I’m not a child. I’m a twenty-five years old man and I AM capable of looking after myself and choosing my own friends. He ordered me not to speak her name around him, like I was a pet or something. Like I was less than him, not his equal. It hurt, a LOT! Will he ever see me as his equal? Is he unable to because I’m the uke? Or is it because he still sees me as the naïve innocent virgin I was at eighteen? And there’s the rub. Has he even noticed how much I’ve changed since we first met? He’d probably look shocked if he knew I used Shakespeare references in my head. He’d be even more shocked if he knew I’d read every book in his massive library, including every book he’s ever written.
Seven years is a long time and I grew up quickly. When I first met Eiri I really was innocent. I had never had a girlfriend, never even really been attracted to anyone before. My reaction to him caught me completely off guard. I had no real desire to have sex. I just wanted to be close to him. After meeting him, making love, being raped and everything else that has happened in our relationship (especially those first two years) how could I not grow up, and rapidly? I was never interested in school, but that didn’t make me stupid. Music was always more important than history or math so school fell to the wayside. I never wanted to be anything but a musician. I love books. I discovered this after I read ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I’m a sap, I know it, but I fell in love with this play and proceeded to devour every book I could get my hands on. Eiri never noticed. I tried to have intelligent discussions with him, about the things I’d read, but he would just brush me off, call me a baka and tell me to stop trying to talk about things I didn’t understand.
It’s been two days since they took me. Two days since I saw Eiri and I miss him, more than anything. Even if he doesn’t know me as well as I know him, I still love him; will always love him. Nothing will ever change that. He truly is the other half of my soul and I hope I’m rescued soon because I don’t know how long I can stand to be without him.
I hate being alone, I always have. Its one of the reasons I always acted so crazy. People don’t leave you alone if you’re interesting or fun to watch. I think Hiro caught on. I think he’s always known my reasons for acting the way I do and that’s probably why I never seem to tire him out the way I do others. Aly-chan reminds me of Hiro. She has the same quiet presence.
The solitude is really getting to me. I’ve taken to singing to myself just to relieve the oppressive silence. What’s almost worse is the anxiety. They haven’t done anything. They kidnapped me, brought me here and left me alone. I’m fed (My meals are brought when I’m sleeping), but I haven’t even seen anyone since I got here. Aly-chan warned me about them, that’s what I was trying to tell Eiri, and I was expecting rape, torture, something! I think this is worse. I’ve been raped and I survived it. K-san and Tohma take great pleasure in torturing me daily (at least emotionally and mentally) so I’m used to that. But this, this is something I’ve never experienced. It’s only been two days and I almost think that I would do anything just so I’m not alone anymore. No! I can’t, WON’T, think like that! I need to be strong. Aly-chan will save me and Eiri will be waiting for me. Everything will be fine. I must stay strong for Eiri! I must!
It’s been two days, but I won’t allow them to break me. I’m stronger than that. I know it. Aly-chan and Hiro know it and someday I’ll prove it to Eiri. I’ll prove that I can be his equal, that he can trust me. It’s been two days, but I’ll fight. I’ll fight until Eiri’s holding me in his arms again. It’s a promise I’ll make to myself and to my other half. I never break my promises. NEVER!
Shuichi’s P.O.V.
It’s been two days; two days since I was taken, two days since I had contact with another living soul. I was stupid, the baka that Eiri is always calling me. I was angry, upset, that Eiri had reverted to tactics that he hasn’t used since he got his sight back after the accident with Riku. I didn’t know it could hurt that much, him reverting like that. The last five years have been wonderful.
Eiri will never be an expressive lover and that’s okay. I love him for who he is, but in the last five years I thought our relationship had matured. We still fight but he no longer (or didn’t) shuts me out like he used to. Eiri’s gotten better at telling me what he really feels and I’ve learned, I think, to judge his moods; to know when to back off and give him his space. What bothered me most was that I missed the signs. I knew he was jealous of Aly-chan (Though he has no need to be, she treats me like a younger brother), but I was so caught up in my need to tell him what she had told me that I stopped thinking. I was stupid, for pushing him too hard and for going out alone afterwards, even when I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t stay there any longer!
He hurt me. First, with his lack of trust. Seven years we’ve been together and not once, not ONCE, have I ever looked at another person. The problem with Ryuichi doesn’t count. I was never attracted to Ryu, I admired him, wanted to be like him and his desire of me caught me by surprise but I never wanted him in the way I want Eiri. Despite my complete and total faithfulness he still doesn’t trust me, or he thinks I’m so stupid that I’ll be tricked into bed. HE’S the one who cheated on me those first two years, slept with women casually. I was lover number one but not the only one. I allowed myself to be raped for him (after he had thrown me away I might add) and still he can’t trust me. His lack of faith, quite seriously, was starting to break my heart. Especially since it was over nothing. Aly-chan never once hit on me. Most people do, male and female. There are many reasons, because I’m famous, or cute or hot or rich, (or because I’m sleeping with Yuki Eiri and sleeping with me is the closest they’ll get to him.) but Eiri isn’t jealous of them, he’s jealous of the one person who just wants to be my friend. Sure I have other friends, Hiro, Suguru, K-san, Sakano and Ryu, (Even Tatsuha) are great but Aly-chan was the first friend I made after I became famous. She’s also the only one who doesn’t treat me like I’m stupid or childish.
I’m not, stupid or childish. I act that way sometimes but at this point it’s mostly out of habit. This is, of course, my second problem. Eiri treated me like a child. I know I’m naïve and far too trusting. I know he worries about me, especially after what happened in that club three years ago, but I’m not a child. I’m a twenty-five years old man and I AM capable of looking after myself and choosing my own friends. He ordered me not to speak her name around him, like I was a pet or something. Like I was less than him, not his equal. It hurt, a LOT! Will he ever see me as his equal? Is he unable to because I’m the uke? Or is it because he still sees me as the naïve innocent virgin I was at eighteen? And there’s the rub. Has he even noticed how much I’ve changed since we first met? He’d probably look shocked if he knew I used Shakespeare references in my head. He’d be even more shocked if he knew I’d read every book in his massive library, including every book he’s ever written.
Seven years is a long time and I grew up quickly. When I first met Eiri I really was innocent. I had never had a girlfriend, never even really been attracted to anyone before. My reaction to him caught me completely off guard. I had no real desire to have sex. I just wanted to be close to him. After meeting him, making love, being raped and everything else that has happened in our relationship (especially those first two years) how could I not grow up, and rapidly? I was never interested in school, but that didn’t make me stupid. Music was always more important than history or math so school fell to the wayside. I never wanted to be anything but a musician. I love books. I discovered this after I read ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I’m a sap, I know it, but I fell in love with this play and proceeded to devour every book I could get my hands on. Eiri never noticed. I tried to have intelligent discussions with him, about the things I’d read, but he would just brush me off, call me a baka and tell me to stop trying to talk about things I didn’t understand.
It’s been two days since they took me. Two days since I saw Eiri and I miss him, more than anything. Even if he doesn’t know me as well as I know him, I still love him; will always love him. Nothing will ever change that. He truly is the other half of my soul and I hope I’m rescued soon because I don’t know how long I can stand to be without him.
I hate being alone, I always have. Its one of the reasons I always acted so crazy. People don’t leave you alone if you’re interesting or fun to watch. I think Hiro caught on. I think he’s always known my reasons for acting the way I do and that’s probably why I never seem to tire him out the way I do others. Aly-chan reminds me of Hiro. She has the same quiet presence.
The solitude is really getting to me. I’ve taken to singing to myself just to relieve the oppressive silence. What’s almost worse is the anxiety. They haven’t done anything. They kidnapped me, brought me here and left me alone. I’m fed (My meals are brought when I’m sleeping), but I haven’t even seen anyone since I got here. Aly-chan warned me about them, that’s what I was trying to tell Eiri, and I was expecting rape, torture, something! I think this is worse. I’ve been raped and I survived it. K-san and Tohma take great pleasure in torturing me daily (at least emotionally and mentally) so I’m used to that. But this, this is something I’ve never experienced. It’s only been two days and I almost think that I would do anything just so I’m not alone anymore. No! I can’t, WON’T, think like that! I need to be strong. Aly-chan will save me and Eiri will be waiting for me. Everything will be fine. I must stay strong for Eiri! I must!
It’s been two days, but I won’t allow them to break me. I’m stronger than that. I know it. Aly-chan and Hiro know it and someday I’ll prove it to Eiri. I’ll prove that I can be his equal, that he can trust me. It’s been two days, but I’ll fight. I’ll fight until Eiri’s holding me in his arms again. It’s a promise I’ll make to myself and to my other half. I never break my promises. NEVER!