Truth and Justice

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, Language, reference to N/C, WIP.
SPOILERS: All manga, all anime, L's true name, Another Note, Law and Right.

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Truth and Justice

Chapter 5: Flashback

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It was dark. The air stank of rain, thick and heavy with the scent of water, tainted by the pollution in the atmosphere. It was as if the very air were pushing him down, pinning him against the cold, gritty ground. He shuddered.

He could taste the filth of the pavement, feel the tiny stones grinding into his face, scraping his flesh. His mind was consumed with the feelings, brought back in such a heavy, sickening wave that he never stood a chance. He was reliving the whole god damned thing, right from the beginning.

When he finally clawed free of the nightmare, he screamed into the hand that was cupped over his mouth, only to jerk away and stumble into the bathroom. He didn't quite make it to the toilet before he threw up the first time.

By the time L reached him, Light had reached the toilet and was leaning on it, face over the bowl. He shook with the sobs, trembling as he gasped for breath, struggling to cope with the fresh flashback. It had been so long, so very long since the flashbacks had been so vivid. They had been nothing but vague impressions over the last ten years. It had been a full twelve since the rape.

And there he was, trembling and crying like a child, throwing up as if it had all happened yesterday. He couldn't even look at L as the detective cleaned up his vomit, as Matt and Mello woke, asked what had happened, took care of hotel security when they came up because other guests had heard the scream.

Even when L was wiping the last of the vomit from his face, Light couldn't look at him, couldn't speak as a blanket was wrapped around him, as he was gently helped to his feet, guided back to bed. He fell asleep quickly that time, his face cradled to L's chest as he felt the shivers subside, felt his fears melt in the face of exhaustion and comfort.

When he finally woke, early the next afternoon, L was still right there with him, holding onto him. He was running fingers through Light's hair, giving quiet orders to Matt and Mello on the data searches, quietly coming to conclusions, dismissing possibilities and exploring others. When Light rose to take care of his morning rituals, no one said anything about the night before.

It wasn't until dinner that anything was said about it and in the end, Light was the one who started the conversation. They were seated at a small dining area, picking at their food in silence.

"It was a flashback. What happened last night," Light sighed weakly, forcing himself to eat a bit of his grilled tuna.

"Must have been pretty bad," Mello glanced up, taking a bite of his rice.

"It was. Worst I've had in a few years," he agreed with a weak smile. "Probably the worst since the first six months after it happened."

"What was 'it', exactly?" Matt asked, frowning when L glared. "Hey, at least I didn't go snooping to find out for myself."

Light turned his gaze to his fish, forced himself to eat another bite. "The day I turned myself in, I had been raped."

The silence was long and heavy until Mello broke it. "Well that sucks. I guess those flashback things don't come very often anymore."

"I thought my rapist had been caught. I thought he was in prison. Far away, where he couldn't hurt me. I thought I was safe," Light closed his eyes tightly, felt the rage bubbling up, pushed it down.

"You aren't wrong about being safe," Matt leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. "You've got me, Mello, L, Aiber... and all the hotel security, and probably an ocean, between you and mister rapist."

That wasn't exactly where Light expected the comfort to come from, but it worked just the same, a weak smile on his lips. "This sort of thing doesn't follow the rules of logic very well, but thank you." He choked down another piece of fish, sighed. One glance at L told him he wasn't done eating yet, so he grimaced and put away a little more.

"Anyway, we'll just have to find out who it really was and put that one away. Even if there's some sort of limit for convictions... there are ways around it when you put pressure on the right people," Mello put in, folding his feet at the ankle and glancing over at Matt. "You know more about the politics end of things than I do."

"Yeah, I'll find the who and the what kind, and you'll apply the pressure," Matt agreed, then turned his gaze to L. "What do you say? Why don't we make this case a two-for?"

"I would greatly appreciate your assistance," L nodded, gave a small smile. What he really appreciated was the way Matt and Mello were handling the situation.

"Next time, we'll get a soundproofed room, just to be safe," Matt put in. "The other guests thought someone was getting killed," he rolled his eyes.

"We didn't exactly expect this sort of information to be presented to us," Light sighed, forcing down one last bite before pushing his food away, his gaze turning to L almost reluctantly.

With a sigh of his own, L reached out and pushed Light's hair away from his face. "Every recovery includes a relapse of some kind," he assured softly.

"Yeah," Light leaned in for a kiss before he rose, returning to the computers.

Three days passed, three more acute nightmares, three more mornings of waking in L's arms, and they finally caught a break. They found the last plastic surgeon that had done work on B. After a phone conference, the surgeon faxed the pre-op and post-op pictures.

There was a long silence as the four of them gathered around the image, looked at it.

"Well, that's a kick in the face," Matt muttered.

"At least we've got an idea of who he's after," Mello shook his head. "That's what you call a fucking obsession."

L turned his gaze to Light, taking in the lack of color on his lover's face and sighed. This was going to be an issue.

"He stole your face," was all Light was able to manage as he looked at the photo. It was almost identical to L. A slight difference around the eyes, the chin, but at first glance, it appeared to be L.

"We know he got it done in Japan, and he knew you were in Japan during the Kira case. He may assume that it's your current base and stick around there to keep an eye on you," Matt suggested. "And last I heard, he was pretty fucking pissed that he lost."

"If he was Kira... he'll think he outsmarted you by making you think it was Near," Mello frowned, biting off a chunk of chocolate. "Once he gets wind of Near's escape and, more, the fact that Near is clearing his own name, this could get messy."

"Then we should return to Japan and look for more," L replied. He went to the microphone that connected him with Aiber. "Watari, please prepare a return flight to Japan."

"Of course," came the reply. "You should know, I've been contacted by Near. He's uncovered information that leads him to believe that B is in Japan. Kanto region."

"Invite him along, if you have the chance," L replied, and they all began packing things up.

While they were putting everything into its cases, his gaze fell to his watch a few times. He could get rid of B, no problem. No sweat... but he wasn't Kira anymore. He wasn't fit to pass judgment. He sighed deeply, leaning against a wall by the hotel's main entrance as they waited for Watari, his arms folded across his chest. He only raised an eyebrow when he saw Near walking towards him, across the hotel's parking lot.

"Eager to see me again so soon?" Light asked dryly when Near stepped into the building, a single backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Keep your enemies close. Isn't that L's method?" Near's gaze settled on Light, stayed there for a long moment.

"I suppose it is, but I'm not his enemy anymore. I married him, remember?" Light shook his head softly, giving a soft sigh. "I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you, anyway. I've got more important things to deal with."

"Like flashbacks?" Near's expression remained steady.

"That's one of them, yes. Does it give you satisfaction, that you managed to trigger the worst ones in over ten years?" Light spat.

"A little, yes," Near turned away then, walking into the lobby, slowly approaching Mello, Matt and L. "I will be traveling with you from here."

"I suppose we should have brought apples, then," L pressed his thumb to his lips.

"I have enough to last the flight," Near shrugged.

"How many names have you written?" Mello demanded.

"None," Near's gaze slid lazily to Mello. "How many would you have written?"

"I'd have someone else doing it for me. Like Lidner," Mello sneered.

"Then you're a suspect, aren't you?" Near was rather satisfied by the face Mello made in reply.

"Let's not waste our time arguing," L advised softly. "Watari is here," and he led the way to the small, unmarked van that had pulled up. It was time to go back to Japan.

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A/N: So now, we travel back to Japan on our grand adventure!