When hearts Collide

I do not own D. Grayman or any of it’s associated characters, nor do I own any songs used within this fic. I do not make any money off of these works of fiction, they are for entertainment only.


~Hot N Cold~

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah, you PMS like a bitch
I would know

And you always think
Always speak cryptically
I should know
That you're no good for me

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

We used to be just like twins, so in sync
The same energy now's a dead battery
Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now you're plain boring
I should know
That you're not gonna change

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bipolar
Stuck on a rollercoaster
Can't get off this ride

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don't really wanna stay, no
You, but you don't really wanna go, oh

You're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down, down, down, down...

Hot and Cold - Katy Perry

Kanda stood before Komui’s desk. His dark eyes hard and cold. He handed the innocence over and the older man took it carefully. “Perhaps we will find a user for this one.” he said cheerfully.

He rose up from his desk, intent on taking the fragment to Hevlaska for safe keeping.

Another fragment safely home.

“That isn’t an issue.” Kanda said quietly. His hands tightened into fists at his side.

Komui halted, turning back to see the stoic Japanese man staring at the far wall.

“What was that Kanda-kun?” he asked.

Kanda looked more on edge and angrier than usual, if such a thing was possible.

He said nothing for a long while and Komui was suddenly very uneasy.

“What is it Kanda?”

Slowly, Kanda met his gaze. “The innocence… it has… a user.”

Komui’s brows rose, “What?”

“In Prague, it resonated.”

“With who?”

“…”

“Damn it Kanda! Who?”

“Aleia.”

Komui sank into his chair, his eyes never leaving Kanda. “Are you sure?”

A single, stiff nod.

“Does she know?”

Kanda shook his head, “I haven’t said anything and you shouldn’t either.”

Komui’s lips drew into a thin line, “Kanda, every exorcist is valuable. Our numbers are falling while the Earl continues to plot against us.”

“All the more reason.” Kanda snapped.

Komui slapped his hand down hard on the face of his desk, “What the hell has gotten into you? When we find a user they are given the choice to become exorcists. You know that… why the issue now?”

“Lenalee” Kanda said simply.

Komui fell back into his seat, “What?”

“She was made to come here to serve the Dark Boots. She was not a fighter, she didn’t want this.”

Komui sighed. Yes that was true. “She has come to accept what she is. Things are different now. If Aleia doesn’t wish it, then no one is going to force her. Its why I took this position Kanda.”

“But she doesn’t really have a choice, “Kanda insisted “Not one that she sees anyway.”

Komui went wide eyed and slack jawed, “You care about her.”

Kanda’s mask of irritation was perfect, “I just don’t want another half assed exorcist to clean up after.”

Then he turned and left Komui to consider what he had said. His boots clipped on the stones of the floor and he headed directly to his room.

Pulling the door closed he placed Mugen on the bed and sat beside the blade. In the corner, safe it’s container sat his lotus blossom. Three petals lay haphazardly at the bottom.

Pulling his coat off and his hair tie free, he laid down on the thin bed, stacking his hands behind his head.

Who’s life had really ever been made better by becoming an exorcist?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lenalee lay staring at the ceiling, her head cushioned on Allen’s arm. Her fingers wandering aimlessly through the crimson head resting on her bare abdomen.

Lavi’s arm was thrown over her hip and the bookman was sleeping quite contently against her. The bandages on his shoulder and the bruising on his back and arms the only indication of the beating he had taken on his last mission.

Tired and sore, he’d returned. He’d given his report and promptly sought out his two lovers. Using the last of his flagging energy to love them into oblivion.

This was an odd thing, Lenalee thought. It was all her fault, she knew. She had simply been unable to choose between them. Lavi hadn’t wanted to be forgotten and Allen was determined to love everyone.

This strange triangle had become her sanctuary. Allen sighed softly beside her and his lips found her bare shoulder.

They loved her. She loved them. Having found that miracle herself she wanted others to have it too.

She wanted Kanda to have it.

“Are you ever going to sleep?” Allen asked in a soft whisper.

She turned her head to find them nose to nose. Allen saw the concern in her violet eyes and woke fully.

“What is it?” His voice was warm and soft, filled with his devotion to her and she felt the tears flood her lash line.

Allen sat up in alarm, “Lenalee!”

His voice roused Lavi who sat up as well, “What? Komui? What?”

The two men stared at the woman between them in shock and horror. What had made her cry?

Lavi cupped her cheek, “Was I too rough?” he asked, thinking that perhaps in his need to have her he had in fact hurt her.

She shook her head. “I was just thinking.”

“About?” Lavi asked.

She shook her head, “It’s probably stupid.”

Allen shook his head, “Never to us, come on tell us. Maybe we can help in some way.”

She took a deep breath, “I was thinking of …Kanda”

Allen blanched, “I am not helping him. Lavi is enough.”

Lenalee shook her head, “No no, not like that. I was thinking that I want him to have this.” She gestured to the three of them.

Lavi turned slightly green, “I have to agree with Allen.”

She laughed, “I meant that I want him to have love.”

Both men looked highly relieved. Allen pulled the blankets up over them, and settled Lenalee against his chest.

“In order to be loved, you have to love first.” he said wisely, “I don’t think we can teach him that. He’s pretty set in his ways.”

Lavi sighed, “Nah. I’m thinking he knows how to. He’s just afraid.”

Lenalee chewed her bottom lip, until Lavi gently kissed her. She spoke when he pulled away. “When I was little, before Komui came… Kanda. He was my hero.”

“Eh?”

“I was often afraid, I didn’t like the order. No one would listen. But Kanda. He would let me hide in his dojo, even his room. He never asked what troubled me, but he was there to keep me safe from things that frightened me. Kanda can love. But I think Lavi is right.”

Lavi twisted a dark lock around his finger, “He’s a parasitic. They don’t last long. Sorry Allen, Lena. Maybe he doesn’t want to leave anyone behind to grieve him. Or Lenalee maybe he is already in love…”

She glanced over at him, “With who? The only one he ever talks about wanting to find is THAT person. We don’t even know who that person is.”

Allen shook his head, “I was thinking we do. There is someone that Kanda is looking for. But I don’t think that he holds any real love for that person. I was thinking of someone much closer to home.”

Lavi nodded, “I agree. He seems to like Aleia well enough.”

Lenalee’s eyes snapped wide, “Aleia? Really? I thought that kiss was an isolated incident.”

Allen nodded again, “That would make sense. He’s different with her. Less of an ass I guess.”

Lenalee shook her head, “But Komui said that Aleia won’t be likely be going on missions with him anymore. Kanda has asked repeatedly that she be moved to another team. And something happened on this last mission, Komui ni-san wouldn’t tell me. But I am sure we will find out soon enough. All he said was that Kanda was very upset.”

Lavi blinked at the stone ceiling, “Wonder what it was?”

Allen pressed his face to Lenalee’s throat, “You can think about that if you want but I have other things on my mind at the moment.”

And Lenalee shivered under his touch. Her back arching as Lavi’s clever fingers slipped beneath the covers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aleia stood before Komui’s desk, a stack of medical report in her arm. “You wanted to see me?” she asked, “I hope this won’t take too long I was just doing some work on the parasitic blood types.”

Komui gestured to the couch, “Please have a seat.”

Aleia sighed softly and sat down, apparently this was not to be a very speedy talk.

Komui’s eyes pinned her in place, “Kanda told him about Prague. About what happened.”

She felt her cheeks heat. Was she being reprimanded for being too close to the grouchy man?

“Do you understand what it means when innocence resonates?”

She blinked. “What? Innocence?”

Komui nodded, “Yes Kanda told me when he collected it that it resonated.”

She nearly sighed with relief, “It got very bright and it pulsed in his hand.”

Komui nodded, “Innocence resonates when it’s chosen user is at hand.”

Now she understood, Kanda was clearly going to be controlling two fragments. “I can do some research and try to determine the effects of wielding two fragments.”

Komui blinked, “Aleia. It resonated to you.”

Her green eyes went wide and she recalled that night. He had stared at her and said , “You.”

She laughed then, this was some odd joke. Had to be. “What are you saying Komui? That I am an exorcist? Hevlaska checked me remember?”

“Against all the fragments we had at the time. This one resonated to you. Kanda said so.”

“He might have been wrong”

“Hevlaska will confirm it.” Komui stated, “Now I have to ask you. Will you become an exorcist? It is not a decision to be made lightly. You can’t take it back once its done. We do need every fighter we can get, but I will not force you into this.”

She was silent for a long moment, “I can only bar fight.”

He smiled gently, “We can train you.”

“I won’t be a medic anymore.”

“No. You won’t.”

She stared at her small hands fisted in her lap. “I. I don’t know.”

Komui nodded, “I understand. I have no missions listed for your team for the next week. I would like you to take your time and think about it. Just let me know.”

She nodded and slowly rose to her feet, the medical reports forgotten as she made her way to the door.

She wandered out of the Order, not really seeing where she was going. She made her way into town and to the local pub. She ordered a glass of whiskey and sat with it.

She didn’t really care for the taste of the brew. It was the fire of it she needed now. She sipped, and tried to tell herself that the moisture in her eyes was a result of the blend in the glass. But she knew better.

In one hour her whole life had turned upside down.

She had once been close to battle. Long ago, when she’d been in the service. She had loved those times, and she hated those times. The sense of family ina cohesive unit, the laughter when missions ended and everyone returned safe from the dangers of the world.

The sorrow when one fell. When everyone was one heart, the same pain, the same longing ringing through each one. There were time she had wanted be a coward and run far away. But she was loyal and in the end, love and loyalty made bravery and she had stood her ground.

She should have died with the others that day. Ricky’s large body shielding her from the attacks.

She took another sip and squeezed her eyes shut. The pain in her chest wasn’t being drowned by the burn in her throat. She slammed the rest of the glass in one hard swallow.

“Another” she called to the barkeep. The man nodded, moving over to pour the amber liquid into her empty glass.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked.

She smiled ruefully, raising her glass in mock salute, “God love the barkeep” she said mirthlessly, “No thanks, just spending the evening with some old memories.”

The man sat the bottle down and nodded, walking away to tend to others.

She stared into the shimmering depths of her drink. What was she going to do?

A million thoughts ran rampant in her head. A billion what ifs spiraling out of control. Images of various endings played over in her head. Some good, some not.

She would be a fighter again. Could she do it? Could she allow others to depend on her again when she had failed so miserably before? She wouldn’t see much of Kanda anymore aside from downtime between missions.

She shook her head, that was stupid. He shouldn’t be a determining factor in her decision. What were a few kisses in the big scheme of things? She knew all about that.

Men and women, and sometimes the things that happened between them were destined to be memories long before they had even begun. She didn’t want to think of him in such a transitory way…but she reminded herself, she had nothing else to go on.

No this wasn’t about Kanda Yu. This was about her.

What could she do?

What did she want to do?

Another sip and heat spread slowly through her chest. Easing the tight ache there minutely.

But the more she sat and thought and the more she drank the more confused she became.

She wasn’t even half way through her second short glass when she pushed it away. She tossed some bills on the bar and stood. The low din of patrons and music jarring her. She needed silence. She needed….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oi. Where is Aleia?” Kanda called from the doorway of the dining hall.

Allen and Lavi glanced up at him from their respective plates.

It was Jerry that called from his window, “Ohh Kanda-kun! She left nearly an hour ago. She didn’t look so good. Maybe someone should check in town.”

Kanda tched and turned to leave the room.

“I hope she isn’t in that old pub” Roland called to Allen in an overloud voice, “it’s a fair walk back from there and it looks like rain.”

Jerry nodded, “It does! And she looked like was going to cry!”

Kanda was gone moments later, much to the delight of the company gathered in the dining hall for the later than usual meal.

“Think I over did it?” Roland asked.

Jerry shook his head, “Sug you were great. Now lets just hope that Kanda does good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kanda strode into the night, the lamplights on the street looked hazy in the gathering humidity. Yes it was going to rain for sure. Damn that woman anyway.

Kanda knew what pub Roland was talking about, there were only a few near headquarters as it was. He kept walking, wondering what Komui had said. Wondering what she had decided on.

He could have asked Komui but these things were better handled between people. Besides that man was annoying on the best of days and this certainly wasn’t one.

He passed the long glass window of a dimly lit pub, his eyes roving the interior swiftly.

There.

At the bar.

She sat staring into her glass, looking like the weight of all the world had been dropped onto her shoulders, and Kanda thought, perhaps it had. He was about to go in after her when she tossed some money down and rose.

She walked towards the door, her gait too steady to be drunk, and her eyes far too troubled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She opened the door and stepped out into the night where rain had just started to mist the cobblestone streets. She turned her face upwards wishing the rain would just wash her away.

“It won’t” Kanda said stiffly.

She jerked and stared at him, “Won’t what?”

“Rinse you away.”

She blanched, “You a mind reader now?”

“No. Your just obvious.”

She sighed, “What do you want Kanda?”

“To talk”

She laughed then, but it held no humor. “Talk.”

She flew at him, small hand curled into a hard fist and swung at him. Kanda pulled his head back out of reach and caught her hand, she swung again and he caught that too.

Enraged and betrayed she kicked out at him. He blocked her and spun to press her against the wall to stop any further attacks.

“Stop fighting me.” he growled.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she shouted at him, struggling against him.

People were looking now at the scene they were causing. One black look from Kanda kept them away.

“Why didn’t you tell me you bastard?” she shouted again, “You told Komui…”

“I had to! Do you think I wanted to?”

She stilled, eyes going wide as he shouted at her. “What?”

“I had to tell him. Hevlaska would have seen it anyway.”

She jerked free and pushed him away, “But you could have told me. That night.”

He shook his head, “I didn’t want to. I didn’t even want to tell Komui.”

“Why not?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, glowering at her. “Look at Lenalee, look at Allen and Lavi. Do you really think that given a real choice they would have picked this? This fucked up life of constant fighting?”

“Probably not.”

“Would I?”

“Oh I think so.”

“I wouldn’t have. But this is what I am and I won’t take it back. But that doesn’t mean I would wish it on anyone else.”

She paused, “You…you really do care about them.”

He looked away with a snap of his long ponytail. “Tch”

A loud peal of thunder boomed overhead and she glanced at the sky. “You should go back” she told him, “The rain is coming now.”

“Where are you going?”

She shrugged, “Hadn’t really thought about it, don’t really want to look at my room right now.”

Droplets fell on them and around them. Fat, wet droplets that soaked them to the skin. Soon it cast a steady drum on the streets, creating a dull roar. People dashed into shelter and climbed into carriages.

But two people stood silent in it. Finally Kanda held his hand out, “Come on”.

She took his hand, feeling his warmth. “Where are we going?”

“You don’t want to go to your room… I don’t want to go to mine. I don’t even want to look at the Order tonight.” he said caustically.

He pulled her down a few side streets to a small guesthouse near the edge of town proper. He pulled her inside and got them a room. The woman behind the desk smiled warmly at him. Her white hair shining in the lamps.

“Hello Kanda.” she said.

He nodded in return.

“Shall I get your usual room? You are soaked, I’ll send Alice with extra towels too.”

He nodded his thanks and went up the stairs. He hadn’t released Aleia’s hand and she climbed behind him.

Kanda pushed open the last door on the end of the hall and ushered her inside.

“Come here a lot do you?” she asked, her tone hinted with suspicion.

He nodded, moving to the closet and opening it. There were several Japanese style robes hanging inside, “More than a lot” he admitted, “The woman downstairs is Jane. She runs this place and lives here with Alice, her grandaughter.”

Aleia nodded, “And you come here why?”

“I killed Alice’s mother.”

Aleia nearly fell over what, going pale. “What?”

“She was an akuma. Alice’s father made her one and she killed him. I killed her. Jane knows all about the Order. As far as I know they don’t blame me. I like it here.”

There was a soft knock and then the door burst open and a little girl with golden pigtails bounded into the room, arms loaded with clean towels and a wooden sword.

“Kanda!”

He dropped his hand to her head, “Alice. Have you been practicing?”

She set the towels aside and nodded, “But I forgot a part.” she admitted in a hushed voice.

Kanda folded his arms over his chest and glared at her, “If you are going to forget I am not going to teach you.”

Before Aliea could admonish him for speaking to her like that Alice spoke up, “Well I can’t know it all as fast as you.”

Kanda sighed and Aleia was certain he had just hidden a smile, “Show me.” he commanded.

The child took her wooden sword and moved through various steps, she lacked Kanda’s skill and grace but the movements were familiar to Aleia.

Suddenly she stopped, “That’s the part I forgot” she prompted him.

Kanda unsheathed Mugen and took up the child’s stance. “Like this. Remember now.”

He swung the blade in a lethal arc and pivoted on the ball of one foot to reverse his position and strike a new angle.

“You try.”

Alice tried several times but her pivot tended to throw her off balance. Finally she looked up at Kanda and proclaimed in the angry voice of a child, “I can’t do it. You cheated.”

He flicked her nose, “You are trying to spin too hard, just a small turn. Remember what I told you.”

Like a dutiful disciple the girl intoned, “No unneeded movements.”

She tucked her sword in the sash of her dress and ran to the door. “Good night Kanda, Kanda’s lady!” Then she pulled the door shut and Aleia wanted to die.

Kanda hadn’t corrected the child but that meant nothing. He picked up a towel and then tossed another to her. “Dry off”

She toweled her long hair and patted at her clothing. A large white robe fell over her. “Put that on. I need you getting sick like I need a kick in the balls.”

She sighed but saw that Kanda had his back to her, she shed the wet clothing and pulled the robe into place. It was a little big for her but she assumed that was because it belonged to him.

“I’m decent” she said as she took the towel back to her hair, winding it around and tucking it until it looked like a turban.

Kanda turned and stared at her with the oddest expression.

“What? Like you never do this.”

“I don’t”

“With all that hair, I bet you do.”

“Shut up.”

She smiled instead then shut her eyes, “You should get out of your wet clothes too.”

He made a small noise but the she heard the muted rustling of wet clothing and the creak of the closet door.

Kanda glanced to the bed, seeing her sit so primly in his robe did strange things to his stomach. Not unpleasant things. Just strange. Of course he knew that the odd tightness came from desire. He had felt and indulged that many times but he had never brought anyone here. Ever.

“Are you decent?” she asked, eyes still closed.

Kanda leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her lips, tasting the rain and whiskey. “Not really” he told her as he pulled back.

She blinked, touching her lips and he smirked. “We were going to talk” he said then and she snapped back to herself.

“Ok”

“What did you tell Komui?”

She flushed, “Nothing. Yet.”

Kanda grunted, “Gave you time to think. Nice of him.”

“Didn’t he give it to you?”

“Komui wasn’t in charge when I joined the Order. Back then there weren’t chances. It simply was.”

Her mouth made a small O and Kanda tore his gaze away.

“What will you tell him?”

She gripped the edge of the robe tightly, “I don’t know” she replied honestly, “There’s potential for good and bad I haven’t really had a chance to consider all of it yet.”

“Consider it now.”

“What?”

“Ask your questions and I will answer them.”

“I can’t think of any.”

“You will”

She stretched out on the bed as the thunder rattled the window. The pit pat patter of rain lulling her in the silence that followed.

“Why did you kiss me?”

Kanda settled beside her, “Wanted to.”

He glanced over to see her cheeks grow red.

“And now?” Her voice had been little more than a whisper.

“Now?”

“Nevermind.”

“No”

“No?”

“I don’t want to never mind.” And he rolled over.

His mouth found hers in a delicious heated friction. Her hands sliding up into the damp wealth of his sleek hair. One of his hands curled into the hair at the crown of her head, the other hand splayed over her hip.

She moaned softly against his mouth, relishing the firmness of his lips, the smoothness of his taste.

“You taste like whiskey” he murmured against her lips, “And honey.”

“You taste like…soba” she murmured back.

And miracle of miracles Kanda chuckled, even as he deepened the kiss.

His hand rose from her hip to trail across her ribcage and higher to cup her full breast through the cotton of the robe. She whimpered at the way he circled the peak with his thumb and then pinched the heard nub between his fingers in a way that nearly bordered on pain.

Aleia had never found her breasts to be very sensitive. However Kanda made them so.

His mouth moved off to her jaw and she tilted her head to the side to give him access to the creamy stretch of tender throat. His lips trailed over the satin flesh, his teeth grazing, nipping.

She gasped as he bit down where neck and shoulder met. It didn’t hurt. It was simply, hard, dominant. She arched into his arms and he growled against her flesh. Teeth catching that spot once more.

“Kanda!”

His face pressed beneath her chin to nip, “Yu.”

She stilled in his grasp and he lifted his head to stare down at her. His dark eyes unreadable and she schooled her features.

“What is this?”

“It is what it is” he replied, kissing her once more.

Aleia knew that it was really no kind of answer, but for someone like Kanda it was as clear as she was likely to get at the moment. The world they moved in was uncertain.

Her nails found his nape and she scraped lightly. His hands tightened in the collar of her robe and then he rolled again, taking her with him.

Her bright hair cascaded down around them and hidden within that red curtain, Kanda smiled gently. “Think about what you choose very carefully. It changes everything about everything you are. There is more in the world for you.”

Cushioned on the hard planes of muscle that made Kanda. She relaxed against him. Her head on his shoulder, his arm a comforting anchor at her waist.

She nodded, his scent soothing and warm and when she drifted off to sleep, he rolled slowly to his side, taking her with him.

What was he doing? Letting people in was foolish. It would only end badly for all concerned. He hoped she didn’t become an exorcist, at least as a medic the protection of the team rested with the seasoned fighter.

Could she do it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kanda was gone when she woke early the next morning, her dry clothing laid out for her. She looked around. No note, nothing.

“We really have work on your manners.” she grumbled.

She dressed and headed back to the Order stopping to say goodbye to Jane and Alice as she went.

Kanda was already in the dojo, or so Lenalee told her in the dining hall. Once she had eaten Lenalee wanted to go into town. Aleia didn’t have the heart to tell her no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You didn’t come back last night” Lenalee said as they walked.

Aleia shrugged, “Must have had more drinks than I could handle. I got a room.”

“Kanda didn’t come back last night either.”

Leave it to the woman to notice that fact.

“Oh? Maybe he got himself a boyfriend in town?” Aleia said with a laugh.

Lenalee stared straight ahead, a sweet smile on her face when she said baldly, “Aleia you have a hickey.”

Aleia slapped hand to her neck before she thought better of it.

“Kanda… is” Lenalee began, “A very complicated person. He tries to make everything simple. There is him and then everyone else. There is a mission or there isn’t. He doesn’t really take a lot of notice in other people. Does that make sense?”

“You warning me away then?” Aleia asked.

Lenalee laughed and shook her head, “He has gotten much better the last few years” she went on, “But sometimes he doesn’t express himself in the best of ways. And when he does, I think it embarrasses him a little bit that he let his composure slip so he reverts to… Well… how should I say it…”

“A dick? An asshole?” Aleia supplied helpfully.

Lenalee nodded, “But I think with you, he might be different. My brother told me what happened in Prague and that you haven’t answered yet. I think Kanda is worried. He might not think that you are suited to this life and he might feel that if you stay where you are you can be protected. Its your choice. But we, Allen, Lavi and myself, we think you can do it.”

Aleia smiled at the shy woman, “Thanks. That means a lot, really. Kanda is a mass of confusion for me. Right now I know that he is more than what he seems, but he won’t really let me see very much. So I figure he can open up when he has time. What? Hey don’t look at me like that, not like we are going to have mad passionate love like the three of you do.”

Lenalee dropped her purse, “WHAT?!”

Aleia laughed softly, “Don’t worry I think only me and Kanda and Jerry know. Secrets safe with me.”

Lenalee groaned and Aleia laughed again patting her back, “Good job!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next week was near agony for Aleia. She was torn over what she should do and Kanda wasn’t helping. She had only seen him for a handful of hours since he had decided to go on a smaller mission alone.

When she did see him, he was night and day.

Either he was completely insufferable or he was stiltedly sweet.

The morning after spending the night together he ignored her all day. Even when she spoke to him. However, he all but molested her in the hall outside of her room that night. Leaving her a panting shaking, wanting mess.

The next day, he had her tray waiting in the dining hall for breakfast. He’d even kissed her goodbye in her room. Then he had left on his one day mission.

When he returned, she had given him a routine checkup. She had told him tat based on her studies of the notes on his case, that she really thought he should take on a little less responsibility. He told her he didn’t her damn care and stormed out.

Harsh words and stolen kisses kept her in a constant state of confusion and desire.

By week’s end, she had had it.

As they sat together eating in the dining hall, she asked Kanda how his mission had gone. He merely tched and rose to leave. She supposed she shouldn't have bothered even trying to engage the man. He barely even glanced at her, though he'd glared at Roland when Roland tried to sit beside her.

“Whats wrong with him?” Lavi asked.

Aleia smirked at his back, claws primed. “Maybe it’s Kanda’s time of the month.”

The man paused in the doorway as he heard the comment, and Allen’s resulting laughter.

“Oi. Moyashi. Something funny?” That voice was dark and cold like an icy river on a winter's night.

Allen got that evil gleam in his eye, “Actually there is.” He had never held any real fear Kanda, except the first moment they had met, when Kanda had sprung at him like a madman.

Kanda glanced over his shoulder to fix that hard glare at Aleia, “Come on”. His tone brooked no argument. And while Aleia longed to go with him to set the record straight and singe his ears with several colorful curses. She would not give in on this.

“No.”

His brow rose, “No?”

“No.” Then she turned back to the others and continued her conversation. Effectively dismissed, Kanda left the room. The cold he left behind lingered.

Lenalee watched him go and then turned to see her friend stare at the table. Her green eyes troubled. Hurt.

“Aleia” Lenalee said softly, “Is it really ok to leave it like that?”

“Like what? I never know where I stand with that man.”

Lavi reached over to pat her hand and smiled gently.

"Maybe he needs a taste of that." Allen quipped innocently and then turned back to his food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aleia had just returned from her shower when someone knocked on her door. Thinking it was Lenalee, she opened it and froze.

Kanda stood in the hall staring down at her, “Are you going to invite me in?” he asked.

She threw her hands in the air, “Fine. Come in.”

Kanda stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He leaned against the door, arms folded over his chest. His dark gray eyes on the woman facing the window away from him. The purple and blue light of the stained glass window dappled her fair skin.

“What do you want Kanda?” she asked.

Her tone was impatient but he heard the underlying current of hurt.

“I don’t know” he admitted. 'You' he wanted to say.

She spun to face him, “Really? A grown man and you can’t decide what you want out of life? Do you even want to live at all Yu? I know that things in your life haven’t really been fair or normal. I get that, I do. But I am not a toy and you can’t be this way with me.”

“What way?” he asked.

“You are like the wind Yu. You blow hot and then you blow cold and I can’t keep up. I didn’t ask you for anything I didn’t ask for any stupid promises because I know you hate people who can’t keep them. But I did expect honesty.”

“I have been honest with you”

She strode to where he stood, her head tilted back to lock eyes with him, “Look at me right now Yu". She opened the door and he found himself stepping out in the hall as she pressed her body against his.

Her hand sliding into the hair at the nape of his neck, she stretched up against him and delivered a staggering kiss. Her mouth was hot and hungry and agressive against his. Kanda dropped a hand to her bottom dragging her flush against him as he opened his mouth and accepted the delicious ravishment she gave.

Just when he was about to take control, she pulled back, an evil sparkle in her eyes. "Now go away. Two can play your game."

Then she shut the door in his face and left the stunned samurai standing in the corridor.

Damn that woman anyway, what was with her and her little object lessons?

“Fair enough” he said, turning to go.

A low whistle caught his attention and he turned to see Lavi leaning on Allen's shoulder, a smug expression on his face. "Now that Yu, was hot. I would be breaking that door down ya know."

"Tch." Kanda spun on his heel and walked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the next three days Aleia took Allen's advice. In private she was sweet and adoring, catching the stoic man alone and brushing against him, pulling him down for deep, drugging kisses and then she would ignore him.

Kanda wanted to shake some sense into her. Avoid her, anything but suffer her erotic touch that left him hard and aching for hours after.

He sat in the lounge, with his arm thrown over his face, trying to calm his breathing. Aleia had just left after perching on his lap and rocking against him as she kissed him. He was not a patient man and rarely gentle to be honest. His fine control was wearing thin.

What the hell was she playing at anyway.

"It's not a nice feeling is it?" Allen called from the door.

Kanda lifted his arm to glower at the smaller man, "What?" He could pretend ignorance.

"Feeling like someone's plaything. It hurts in a funny way. Maybe you realize that now." Allen departed leaving his words hanging in the air of the room.

But Yu had never thought of her that way. Never.