Deal! Fortune!...in bed.

The Anime series "Shuffle" is brought to us by Funimation, not me. I do not profit financially from this. I do not apologize for the line between naughty and dirty, cleanliness and godliness, or the pen I draw it with.

[Title:] Deal! Fortune! The boy who could become either a god or a devil…in bed.

[Chapter 5:] Holy!

---

Rin had never watched another man remove a woman’s stocking before. He was only a teenager, but most people went their entire lives without witnessing the real thing, much less the real thing done right, much much less directing it. Itsuki was full of surprising ad-libs, interpreting the latest instruction of “take off her stockings” as “remove one stocking slowly, fingers hooked under the elastic, rolling it down in a sea saw motion that creases the flesh of her legs.”

Rin would never begin a stroll down memory lane here, but if he did he’d quickly clarify that he was getting ahead of himself. Last we left him he had just called the future queen of Gods a ‘crazy bitch.’

Who knows if Luck has anything to do with being good at apologies? Maybe Rin can tell us.

---

“Oh no. Sia, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean---you’re not a…a-”

Rin tried to say the words again, the horrible thing he’d called her, but they strangled him. This made him acutely aware of how terrible they were. This awareness in turn made him doubly unable to take them back.

Anyone could have understood, empathically, the truth Sia mumbled at the floor.

“You can’t un-say something, Rin.”

Rin now understood this quite literally. But…

“But! But! But you’re not-”

“Then what am I?”

Sia let the empty water glass fall to her side. Rin tensed, but it didn’t break. He watched it roll in a complete arch before Sia somehow lifted his eyes into hers.

“What do you want me to be, Rin? Just tell me. I don’t only want to be your lover, I don’t just want to be the mother of your children, I want to be your…your power, your faith.”

“What are you talking about? Sia, we’re both just-”

“Look to me and I’ll be everything to you.”

Sia’s voice, her steps toward him, all a leisurely sleepwalk through an erotic narcotic. Rin nearly fell out of his chair to back away. He found his hands caught in a pantomime routine between warning and pleading.

“Sia! You have to get a hold of yourself! The sun! That Lemon thing out there is messing with our heads.”

“No star can make you anything but yourself, Rin. I feel more like myself than I’ve ever been.”

Sia ran her fingertips over her heart, stirring the hair over her breast. Rin saw his hands clench and put them under his arms.

“Kikiyo and I, we’ve never felt so much like one person.”

That one person swallowed audibly and spoke in a much more erotic and much less sleepy dream.

“I am Lisianthus. I want you to feel how much I love you. I want you to know the love of a god. That dance, I didn’t do it to embarrass you, I wanted to give you a taste of what our lives could be like. It was good, wasn’t it, you watching me in…in awe, me looking down at you in…and us…dancing…together. I don’t just love you, I adore you, I always will. I pro-”

Sia swallowed and licked her lips, suddenly parched. Rin thought of the water on his pants, if mostly of his pants. Sia spread a hand over her heart and Rin looked away before the curtain could be drawn.

“Um, maybe you should put your clothes back on.”

In looking away, Rin looked again for an exit he might have missed. He barely stifled a triumphant noise (even he knew that would’ve been taken badly). The ladder had reappeared, as if by magic, as if by fairy guardian, happy helpful magic instead of insane sex goddess magic.

“And I should, I, me-me, my, and I-” he punctuated himself with quick glances back at escape, “I should get a towel.”

On his way down the ladder, Rin heard Sia call after him.

“But…hey! Hey, Rin! Wait up!”

She sounded like herself again and Rin was so relieved that he almost went back up the ladder. In fact, he was also so relieved that he fell off the ladder. He landed on his feet before he landed on his back, but Sia still poked her head out of the ceiling with a look of panic.

“Oh no! Are you okay?”

Rin waved at her and laughed as he stood up. It was an awkward attempt at a reassuring laugh at first. It continued till it almost convinced him. It continued till it wasn’t a reassuring laugh at all. Everything in the cupboards that hadn’t stored alcohol, and now didn’t store towels, just got funnier and funnier.

“Rin?”

“This is the second, HAHA, towel-search, HeHOO, I’ve been on today. It probably won’t even be the last! I’m probably gonna have to give up on this one too. ‘Throw in the towel!’”

Rin laughed a lot harder.

“What are you talking about?”

“Towels? To-wels? Where are you, towels?”

“Rin, calm down. I’m sorry, ok? Don’t be mad at me.”

“The sink! Of course! They must be under the sink.”

Sia made it to the sink before Rin did. She may have teleported for the first time, but it’d be the second time that morning that Rin would later recall as flying. He landed up-against rather than on-top-of the counter, but it was flight.

“Do you really think I’m crazy?”

Sia had put a white T-shirt on, but she was obviously braless and obviously still pained. No relief for Rin. No more laughing for Rin, either.

“Sia, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. It just…startled me, okay? This morning has been one shock after another.”

Her head down, her arms around herself, Sia leaned her forehead into Rin’s chest.

“Well…we’ve got the whole day ahead of us.”

Damn, you know how to flirt.

Rin was so close to speaking his mind that he almost slapped a hand over his mouth. The silence that followed was silence, but silence was not what he’d left when he went into the attic.

“Sia, we’ve got to stop your father,” Rin gave Sia’s shoulders in a tiny shake, “he and Nerine’s-”

Sia shot him a pained, even angry look.

“What about her?”

“I-Sia, I’m talking about your dad and hers! They-they sounded like they were going to kill each other! That’s why I-”

“Kill each other?” Sia’s expression changed to disbelief so quickly that it took Rin’s with it. Her laughter, though, actually did feel reassuring.

“Oh, dad’ll embarrass me alright. More than he usually does, probably, but no one’s getting killed.”

Rin inclined his head to the side and happened a glance over her shoulder. The glance carried through the kitchen window, into the garden, and over the koi pond.

One king was pressed against a tree. Both kings were pressed against each other. Their foreheads tilted forward, their noses tilted up, forming a diamond between their faces. Even from a distance Rin could see that they were, not challenging, but daring the other to blink. They must have exceptional focus, even for kings, as both their hands were continually hiding and finding something in the other’s robe.

That intensity between the two kings kept Rin himself from blinking. It even kept him from noticing Sia’s wry smile. She stepped aside, encouraging the tiny impulse of curiosity to push him forward, to put his hands on the edge of the sink and his face closer to the window. He would not be able to tell anyone how he felt for those long moments, but he’d keep trying throughout his life.

The next moment, when Eustoma pulled back the Devil king’s long hair so that he could inhale his neck, that moment was almost real enough to describe. When Forbesii slid two fingers into the God king’s mouth, that moment, with Rin as its witness, was an easy textbook definition of ‘silent shock and awe.’

“Holy-”

Sia spread her hands under Rin’s shirt and pressed herself into his spine.

“That’s right Rin: ‘Holy.’ Any time a God and a Devil get close like…this, or any way really, and especially when it’s under the star, it…it is holy. It’s everything about the deepest parts of us, coming together.”

“Your dad and…they’re really-”

“Mother isn’t coming to the human world today, Rin. She’s probably doing what they’re doing back in the land of the Gods. And if she’s not doing what they’re doing, she’s doing what I’m doing.”

The Right Thing to Do usually kept its attention on the people Rin might wrong in some way. Every so often though, it tapped his shoulder for his own good.

Rin blinked, blinked some more and started to turn around, confused and a little more defensive.

“What are you doing?”

“That’s not what I mean, it’s-” Sia seemed caught between a gasp and a stutter, “I only need you. I don’t need disciples.”

“Disciples? What-”

Rin almost turned all the way around at that point, but Forbesii did, and Rin’s attention was focused outside again. He made a questioning sound, a less disbelieving sound than he expected as the God king’s robe slipped a little to the side, exposing the muscles of his shoulder. The Devil king reached back, pulling his ally forward, drawing blood under his pristine claws.

Sia laughed, then laughed seductively, then spoke so seductively it was almost funny.

“You…you would rather see me, right?”

Her hands moved down his chest so softly that Rin closed his eyes.

“Sia, you’ve really got to stop this before-”

“Before what?”

Rin swallowed, trying to say something about her father seeing them. A silly lie was bad, the truth was worse, so:

“You know what.”

“I do know, but I don’t think you do. I’m not a girl with cute ears, I’m not a girl who can use magic. I’m a God.”

Sia slid her hands down his belly softly, slowly, but not at all stealthfuly.

“I can be YOUR god, Rin. I can lift every part of you higher than we can imagine, all you have to do is lift yourself up to me.”

Sia’s fingers were especially warm beneath his still soggy pants.

Rin grabbed her wrists in his hands, she gently maneuvered her own hands back up into his. Holding and holding back, like manhood outside, became different things all at once.

“I’m a God, Rin. I’m a God, and I love you. What we could have is so rare, so wonderful. I can only show you so much before I have to show you everything. My dad would be happy, I know he would, my mom and him love each other, but us coming together like this would be better than anything, better than all the Gods and all their followers and-”

The Right Thing to Do may have tried to tap him harder before progressing to a slap upside the head, but Rin wouldn’t have bet on it.

“Followers?” Rin turned around, letting their hands fall away. “Disciples? What’re you talking about, Sia?”

“I shouldn’t say any more,” Sia stepped away from him, seeming more unsure of herself than anyone he’d ever seen, “not until you’re ready to make your promi- to make your choice.”

“It wouldn’t be right, you’re not yourself, and I don’t think I am either.”

Rin was saying this, meaning this, but taking a step forward. It made even less sense and hurt a lot worse when Sia took a step back.

“You don’t understand, Rin. I told you, the Lemon Star, it’s not a bad thing, if we…if we do it today, it’ll make sure we’re together forever.”

“Forever?”

Rin winced at how uncomfortable he sounded saying it, then cursed himself for how much deeper Sia drew into herself.

“As-as long as we’re alive.”

The Right Thing to Do clearly didn’t give two damns about consistency. Rin wondered, subconsciously, if he’d be saying ‘back off’ and ‘I’m sorry’ for the rest of his life.

“Sia,” he tried to console, “it-it wouldn’t be right, you’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, but-”

Sia didn’t move suddenly, she simply looked up at him. It was startling because she looked at Rin, not at the boy she fell in love with, not the man who would be everything to her, but at Rin Tsuchimi, the person, the mere human. Her eyes didn’t dig or burn into him, rather they let his eyes fall into hers, into something he did not understand in the slightest.

When she snapped her fingers, Rin flinched as if she’d pointed a gun at him, then nearly jumped out of his own pants. He looked down, noticing they didn’t just feel dry, but fresh out of the dryer. He looked far, far away when he saw that his excitement was only half as gone as the water. It wasn’t nearly far enough, and he fell further into Sia’s gaze.

“A God’s magic, my magic, is the safest kind. Kikiyo was scary, I know, but you have no idea how the other, how they-”

And it was gone. That radiant, overwhelming power in her eyes washed away down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” Sia swallowed, “I’m being horrible. I’m-”

Rin stepped toward her as another sob slipped out, but again she stepped away. He looked at his weakly outstretched hands and lowered them pitifully. He felt a sigh expire and rot in his throat.

“Maybe you should go.”

Rin was more certain than she was, more certain than he’d been all morning, that she was right. He mumbled a simple ‘I’m sorry’ and began walking to the door. Certainty being what it is, Sia caught him by the wrist just as he touched the door handle. She already had his palm on her heart before he could look at her.

“I’m a God, Rin.”

There were only slight tears in the corner of each eye, and only a slight pout to her lips. She did not look sad, or seductive, she looked, Rin made a point to remember, like the sun illuminating a hole in dense clouds. He broke the gaze to look at his hand upon her chest, drawn not to the nakedness beneath her shirt, but the heartbeat. It was so fast and intense he was actually afraid to let go.

“Make me your God and I’ll be everything for you. I’ll be love, and life and…and everything. If you change your mind, come back before the sun goes down and we’ll be the most beautiful thing in any world. I…I…”

Sia was losing her highest self again, and it was lost before she grasped for it in Rin’s hand, bringing it to her cheek, her lips.

“I promise.”

The words hit his ears like a searchlight in his eyes. A gasping charge spread outward in every direction from his chest, all his senses heightened for a few seconds before he gulped and blinked.

Sia let his hand fall and walked further back into the house. Rin watched her, thoughtless and unable to move till she’d disappeared down a hallway.

---

The kings were lying in grass, on their backs, like hands on a clock, half an hour past or half an hour till 12. Their hands in each others hair, along each others jaw lines, counted very slow seconds. Their robes were on, if loosely, but Rin was more concerned with whether he could tip toe by them unnoticed.

“Leaving so soon, Mis-ter-Rin?”

Mister Rin didn’t fly, and he didn’t even jump that high, but he did make a very high pitched noise.

“Sir, your highness,” Rin began bowing, again and again like a windup toy, “I swear I didn’t-”

“We know.” The king of Devils sounded cheerful, almost smug.

“Not winning isn’t the same as loosing, Ma-boy.”

Forbesii made a thoughtful sound, tenting his fingers over his mouth, ignoring the fingers under his chin.

“I must admit, my Lord Eustoma, that I never expected Rin to even make it out of the house.”

“I know you both tried to warn me, but when I woke up I was so confused, and so…dammit I can’t be getting horny again.”

Rin hadn’t intended to mutter that last part so loudly, but he had intended to slap both hands over his mouth so hard that his teeth rattled, so let’s say he was 0 for 0.

Both kings were chuckling, then howling with laughter by the time Rin could press his forehead to the ground a third time. His apologies, still rising in pitch, only added fuel to their fire.

“It’s okay, Rin, it’s okay,” Eustoma choked, “today is more than anyone, God or man can completely control.”

“Or Devil,” his counterpart added, effortlessly transforming his laughter into a wry chuckle.

“Most people,” Eustoma tried to clear his throat, “most people won’t even make it out of their homes today, so I’m-”

This time he cleared his throat a little more deeply.

“I’m happy you came by, and I’m happy you were a gentleman, even if I’m a little sad that you weren’t ready to be a man.”

“Hopefully twice in one morning is enough to keep him from exploding,” Forbesii added casually.

“T-Twice?”

Rin knew exactly what the Devil king was referring to, but didn’t know he could fit so much blood in human cheeks.

“Now-now, Ma-boy, he’s technically still my guest, so don’t tease him.”

Forbesii stretched his arms out and over the larger king’s chest. His graceful hands seemed to be resting, but they most certainly were not.

“Am I still your guest? Hm? Are you not glad that I came to visit too?”

Eustoma coughed into his fist, took Forbesii’s hands in his own, and gave them a hearty, manly clap.

“In any case, Rin, you may still want to check on your school buddies. Most young men aren’t as honorable as you are, and even if what happens today is likely to remain…with…with today. Well, you know what I mean.”

“I don’t think he does.”

Forbesii freed his hands effortlessly and scratched his fellow king under the chin like a trusty hunting dog. With a tiny ‘click’ he closed Eustoma’s mouth, with a gentle rustle he turned over, his kimono falling a bit open, and propped himself up on his elbows. He spoke carefully, inching his nose into the larger man’s forehead.

“We are still men of our words, Rin.”

The king of Gods took a deep breath, and was serious again. He turned his head to look at Rin through a few strands of devil hair.

“That’s right. Our subjects, even if they’re in this world, are still under our protection. Be sure your friends understand.”

Rin thought of Itsuki, and the blood left his face, taking with it some acid and a few other chemicals not meant for his throat.

“Yes. Yes sirs!”

Rin bowed just once this time, but very fast, and began walking away even faster.

“Humans used to have them all the time, but I wonder if you can grasp what it means to experience a dangerous holiday, Mr. Tsuchimi.”

Rin felt much like he did when his very self seemed to be drawn into Sia’s eyes. It was different this time, much more terrifying, for it being just the Devil king’s voice, and not very loud either.

“Now that’s enough…Ma-boy,” Eustoma breathed, relaxing the tension between the three of them better than Rin could believe. When he turned to face the two men he was surprised to see the larger king looking on him protectively, yet sternly. He was surprised to see the slighter king not looking up at all.

“There’s a saying, a kind of three-fold advice,” Eustoma addressed the world, “that we should have told you yesterday.”

Rin gulped but made himself stand up straight and nod a thanks for the wisdom he was about to receive.

“Humans make bets,” Forbessi stated sleepily, laying his own cheek on Eustoma’s like a pillow, snuggling up to it with gentle, closed eyes, hair sprawling now in every direction.

Eustoma, on cue, spoke somber if somber were tender as he put his hand on Forbesii’s neck and smoothed the hair aside.

“Gods make promises.”

The curtain drawn, Nerine’s father, the king of clearly more than longest ears, addressed Rin like the only guest in the house, opening his eyes with his words.

“And Devils make deals.”