The Youkai Inside You

Chapter 5


Sanzo entered the temple in a slightly better mood than when he left. Everything was normal as far as he could tell. He passed several monks that bowed to him as he walked through. He didn't see Hakkai anywhere, but that was a bit of a blessing. Their last encounter had been uncomfortable to say the least. Making a big deal about the clothes had probably been extreme, but a necessity. He didn't want Hakkai to get back to that really bad place in his mind again, and seeing that mess of clothes would have done it.

Goku wandered in with his arms full of peaches and his usual sunny greeting. Sanzo eyed the fruit. If he kept eating the peaches like this, there would be none left. He felt his eye wanting to twitch, but he took a deep breath and ruffled Goku's hair as he passed. He had more important problems than the trees right now. He looked for Hakkai. Nothing good would come of avoiding him. He tried his room first, knocking soft on the door.

"Hakkai?" Sanzo listened. He heard no acknowledging reply. He was about to move away from the door when he heard a soft sound, like a whimper. He put his ear to the door to make sure he wasn't imagining things. He heard it again, this time the sound more obviously distraught. "Hakkai." Sanzo opened the door and froze at the sight. His vines where thrashing around the entire bed, surrounding his body like poised, swaying snakes. Some were coiled around his ankles and wrists, keeping him pinned.

Sanzo made himself move, stepping inside and shutting the door fast to keep out unwanted eyes. He looked at Hakkai's face. His eyes were shut tight, his mouth open, fangs showing their sharp points, his hair soaked with sweat. He moaned again, turning his head as if trying to avoid something hideous. His body convulsed weakly, the vines coiling tighter to keep him still.

"Hakkai, wake up!"

"No...stop...bastard," Hakkai moaned, writhing, literally fighting his own body.

"Hakkai, dammit!" Sanzo didn't hesitate another moment and stepped forward, avoiding a sneaky vine and slapped Hakkai's face hard enough to make his own hand sting from the contact. Hakkai jerked, eyes popping open with a deep intake of breath. Sanzo watched on, his body tense as a few vines brushed his body as Hakkai desperately pulled them back. "Are you alright?" he asked, voice going softer when he took in his friend's shocked expression.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai shivered and pulled the last of the vines to his skin, sitting up, body trembling. "What happened?" He straightened his shirt absently, looking away.

"You were having a nightmare, but I think you already know that. You want to tell me what it was about this time?"

Hakkai shook his head no, putting a hand to his red cheek. "Guess it took a bit to wake me?"

"Sorry about that, but you didn't seem to hear me."

"It's okay. I'll gladly suffer a smack to wake up from that Hell."

Sanzo sat on the edge of the bed. "You slept so well last night."

Hakkai nodded. "Guess that didn't last, huh?"

"Anything you were doing or thinking about before you fell asleep that may have triggered it?"

Hakkai looked down at his hands, focused on the claws. "Sanzo, did I do something yesterday that you're keeping from me?"

Sanzo sighed. "Is that what this is about?" He watched Hakkai, his head down and focused on his hands. He stayed quiet, waiting for Sanzo to give him a real answer. If his unease about this caused him to have another nightmare, he'd have to appease him with some truth. "It wasn't anything bad, Hakkai. You went into a state of meditation again. You didn't hurt me." Truth enough.

Hakkai finally met his eyes. "That's all?"

"That's all."

"Then why didn't you tell me that before?"

"I don't know."

"Sanzo."

"Look, I'm not hurt. I don't have bruises, I'm not cut up. Do I have to strip down right here to show you I'm okay?"

Hakkai chuckled soft. "No. I'm sorry I worry so much, but I did keep getting flashes of memory." He looked back at his arms, the vines dark against his skin. "And I know I used these," he said soft. "I went back out there and saw signs in the dirt."

"You slept peaceful last night, right?"

"Yes, but.."

"I think we should work on the meditation then." He couldn't believe he was actually suggesting Hakkai go into that state again, but if it helped him, he could try to get around the vines this time.

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"Trust me, Hakkai. You'll be alright."

"It's not me I'm worried about."


~*~


Hakkai sipped tea, nodding absently to Goku when he asked if he could have his share of chicken since he wasn't eating it. Sanzo huffed, but said nothing as Goku dug in. Hakkai couldn't help it. He just didn't have much of an appetite. His mind was on the night ahead. Sanzo assured him over and over that everything would be alright. Still, he had his reservations on the idea. He was afraid he would have another blank piece of memory when it was over. To top that fear, he was concerned he would harm Sanzo.

Hakkai looked at the blond and noticed he was also picking at his food, stirring it around more than he was consuming. Was he nervous too? His exterior looked poised and calm, but his eyes were deep in thought. Hakkai remained silent. He wouldn't disrupt him with his own inner turmoil. He was glad Goku was too involved with eating to notice the keen quiet between them.

Hakkai looked down at his now empty plate. He felt just as empty on the inside. It was a harsh loneliness that he could not understand. He was never really alone, not with Sanzo, Goku and Gojyo around, but yet, there was something missing. Unlike his sketchy memories from his meditation, the missing piece was blatantly obvious. He thought of Kanan and sighed soft. The promise he had made himself keep since her death prodded him painfully. He could never allow himself to love another. He grappled with it, wondering if that not so simple promise was causing him all this anguish.

"Hakkai."

He was looking at his hands again, wishing for the human form he should be seeing. Instead the claws and vines mocked him again, reminding him of the blood and trail of bodies he'd left in his wake. All for Kanan, to save her and take her away from that horrible place. In the end, none of it had mattered. She took her life in front of his eyes, and he still felt the guilt, as if he had been the one wielding the knife. Gods, would this ever stop?

"Hakkai."

Tepidly, Hakkai looked over at Sanzo. "I'm sorry, I was miles away again."

"I noticed." He lit the cigarette between his lips. "We'll get started soon."

"Started?" Goku asked.

"Nothing for you to worry about, monkey. Just some meditation."

"What will that do?"

"It helps relax the mind, body and spirit. You should try it sometime instead of eating so much," Sanzo muttered.

"No thanks, eating is more fun." He munched another bite of chicken. "Speaking of that, what's for dessert?"

"Tsk, like I know." Sanzo said, pushing his plate away to finish his smoke in silence.

"I'll go find out." Goku got up and ran to the kitchen.

"Do you think all that food he eats will catch up to him one day?" Hakkai asked.

"Doubt it, he has too much energy."

Hakkai nodded. "Somehow that sounds about right." Hakkai looked at him. "How was Gojyo when you saw him today?"

"Hmph, being him. He's coming tomorrow for a visit."

"Oh," Hakkai smiled soft, "I do hope he doesn't try to bring more books back."

"Even he's not that stupid."

"Were you really hard on him?"

"Only as much as I had to be."

Hakkai smiled soft and looked at his remaining tea. He was feeling a bit home sick, but being here made him feel safer. The temple was always peaceful and relaxing, and at first that's what Hakkai thought he was experiencing, but it was really Sanzo that gave him his salvation. Even through his sometimes harsh exterior, he had a way about him that just made you feel absolute tranquillity.

He looked Sanzo's way again, taking in his blond hair that wildly touched his shoulders. It looked like he was growing it out, but Hakkai hadn't asked. His droopy, amethyst eyes watched nothing and everything as he languidly puffed on his cigarette, blowing smoke through slightly pouted lips. The curve of his chin was strong, but soft with his youth. It took a moment for Hakkai to realize he was staring at him, and when Sanzo met his eyes he didn't look away. Only when he felt the room get warmer and that sensation of arousal he had felt out in the orchard, did he quickly avert his eyes, taking up his tea to swallow the rest down.

"The monkey is taking his time," Sanzo said, voice soft and musing.

Hakkai forced a soft laugh. "He's probably eating his dessert in the kitchen."

"Just as well if he is. We should get going."

Hakkai looked back up as Sanzo stood. "Right now?"

Sanzo nodded. "I told you, don't worry."

"I trust you."

"Good, we're on equal terms." Sanzo looked at him. "You still have the robes I gave you?"

"Yes."

"Go put them on. You'll be more relaxed for meditation. Meet me in my prayer room when you're done." He left without another word.


~*~


Sanzo sat, legs crossed Indian style to wait for Hakkai. The room was plain compared to most prayer rooms, but Sanzo preferred it without all the frills. The simpler, the better, as far as he was concerned. Incense burned slow, filling the room with a pleasant, relaxing scent. The candles gave a nice glow, keeping the room just shadowed enough for perfect relaxation.

He'd had time to think about how to proceed. He would just use a simple binding chant if Hakkai got too touchy feely with his vines again. There had to be a way other than letting himself get molested to help his friend. He was determined to find out what that was tonight. Also, he wanted to find out how Hakkai was functioning and not being aware of what he was doing. It seemed more like a hypnosis state than a meditative one. He'd just have to work it out as he went.

He heard a knock. "Come in."

Hakkai entered quiet, slipping the door shut behind him. He was wearing the robes as Sanzo asked. Sanzo pointed to the spot across from him and he came over and sat similar to Sanzo. He was visibly nervous, but it was to be expected. He imagined having loss of memory was not pleasant, and that's what his friend feared. That and loss of control. He looked across at him.

"I'll start with a chant to get you relaxed. Are you ready?"

"I have to be, right?"

Sanzo merely nodded and closed his eyes, beginning a slow mantra. His voice was a steady, low drone in the room. All else was silence. His body was soon relaxed and he opened his eyes to see if the effect was the same for Hakkai. His lips were parted, his eyes closed. Watching him close, Sanzo could see his body swaying to his voice. His vines were shifting, but staying on his body. Good sign so far.

Sanzo spoke. "Hakkai."

"Yes?" he muttered back, eyes staying closed.

"Do you remember what you were thinking about last time? What relaxed you?"

"A flower...the white color." His head tilted a little. "Then cream color. Your robes...."

"My robes?"

Hakkai's head nodded a little, his hands resting loosely on his lap. Sanzo watched him diligently, keeping silent. He hadn't thought of his own robes as a catalyst for what happened with Hakkai. He wondered if he was using that same method now as he went into complete relaxation. His breathing was slow and steady, his body language a perfect calm. He watched for any sudden movement, ready to quell what came.

Uneventful minutes passed, giving Sanzo some hope that things would continue to go smoothly. Like Hakkai, his body looked to be at ease, but he was poised for the slightest change. His eyes darted to Hakkai's right hand when a vine lifted, the tip swirling around slowly. He stared at it, watching it's hypnotic movement. Sanzo had never thought about it before. He had seen hundreds of youkai in his life, but none had the characteristics that Hakkai did. The unique way he had gotten his youkai side could be the answer.

The vine kept up it's slow weaving, and he watched it's motion, continually alert. It swayed over Hakkai's limp hand, another joining in the dance. He looked away for only a moment to see if Hakkai's eyes were still closed. What he saw made him jerk and take pause. Both of Hakkai's eyes were focused on him, a soft smirk on his lips. Sanzo grunted. It was the same expression he had in the orchard. Aware, but not really there.

"Alright, you bastard," Sanzo muttered. Hakkai's head tilted, lips parting. "You're in there, Hakkai, under that perverted zombie act."

Hakkai blinked, the tip of his tongue working over a fang. His movements were slow and alluring as he shifted from his sitting position to roll to his hands and knees, his eyes not leaving the priest. A whispering moan passed his lips, the sound like a deep, unfulfilled yearning. Sanzo watched him, like a wild animal that might leap on him at any moment. More vines coiled and caressed against each other, the friction making a hissing, lulling sound.

"I think Gojyo is having a bad influence on you," Sanzo said, his voice steadily calm. "Or is this your own closet kappa showing through?" He wasn't expecting an answer, so he wasn't disappointed when Hakkai just tilted his head again, like he was trying to understand a foreign language. "What is it you need, Hakkai? Do you even know?"

Hakkai moved closer.

"What torments you?"

The tip of his tongue curled at the corner of his mouth, lips slightly smirking.

"Is it the violence of your past?"

Hakkai exhaled a slow breath, gaze fixed on Sanzo, his lids heavy with desire. Several vines pushed and tugged his robes off his shoulders to reveal flushed skin.

Dammit, he's not really hearing me like this. Sanzo didn't move an inch, even as Hakkai edge slowly closer. His main concern was the vines that had begun to get more lively. A few whipped and thrashed around Hakkai's body as if trying to get his attention. Sanzo smirked. That's not going to work. He had already spied a sneaky few that were slithering his way to capture him. He muttered a mantra and every vine stilled as if frozen by an unseen force before they went limp to the floor.

Hakkai's mouth opened wide, his eyes going just as round. His expression would have been funny if the situation wasn't so serious. He looked at Sanzo questioningly, a grunt sound passing his lips. His body still had freedom of movement and his hand raised to touch Sanzo's cheek, another whimper of longing filling the now stark silence of the room.

Sanzo grabbed Hakkai's wrist, but he refrained from pulling away from the hand caressing his face. He could feel the dangerously sharp points of his claws on his skin, but he didn't flinch. He wasn't scared of the monkey, and he damn well wasn't afraid of the sex craved Hakkai either.

What should I do now? Between talk, the mantra and even physical contact, Hakkai was still under this odd spell of sexual hunger. His vines were no longer a danger, but his body still had free movement and he took advantage of it, sliding close until their legs touched. It made him think of that first time, back when Gojyo had walked in on them with his perverted accusations. Except this time, this was no innocent talk between friends.

Hakkai made another sound, his other hand sliding up to catch locks of golden hair, running the silky threads through his clawed fingertips. Sanzo continued to hold his wrist with light pressure. His other hand lay on his lap, but he was ready to grab Hakkai's other wrist if he had to. The fingers playing with his hair shifted, trailing down below his ear, the claws catching the cloth of his shirt.

"Going to ruin another one of my shirts, Hakkai?"

Hearing the sound of his name seemed to give him a slight pause, and the sharp points stopped their descent. Sanzo watched his face for any kind of awareness, but all he could see was unquestionable lust. His poised body was so near that Sanzo could easily smell his clean scent. His eyes caught a bead of sweat rolling sluggishly slow from Hakkai's temple to the curve of his cheek. Gods, the room was too hot. Sanzo took a shaky breath and cautiously shifted from his shitting position to get on his knees for more leverage, grabbing Hakkai's other wrist to pull his hand away from his neck in the process.

"Hakkai, talk to me. I know you're in there somewhere."

"Mn."

"Not really a word, but that's something." He turned his head quick when Hakkai moved in for a kiss. The lips brushed his cheek, the soft scratch of fangs and the heat of his tongue joining them. "Sneaky, son of a bitch," Sanzo grunted, jerking his head, but Hakkai's mouth stubbornly followed, sliding lower to his neck. "Hakkai, dammit..mn.." He shivered with the sensation of heat against his skin.

Hakkai made a sound, curiously like a soft chuckle. Sanzo cursed, tightening his grip on Hakkai's wrists, using his weight to roll him onto his back. He needed to cool this off quick, and pinning him down had seemed like a good plan until Hakkai's legs wrapped around his waist and he made another guttural sound of desire. His muscles were strong and he held Sanzo like a snake would to prey.

"Not such a good idea after all," Sanzo muttered, his hands clamped over Hakkai's wrists, keeping them pinned to the floor. As much as he hated to do it, he would have to seal his whole body like he had the vines. Hakkai watched him, eyes begging for sin, tongue licking his lips slow with seduction. "I have no choice," Sanzo whispered to his friend. He started the mantra, only getting a few words in when Hakkai's hips bucked, grinding his groin against Sanzo's. Even the thickness of his robes couldn't stop the sensation and he lost his wording, gasping heavy with the gyration.

"You're a real handful," Sanzo breathed, trying to ignore his own bodies reaction to Hakkai's sways. "I have to help you, dammit!" he growled out, pressing down his lower body to try pinning the squirming man more. It only made the sensation more tempting.

"San....zo," Hakkai whispered.

His eyes widened. "Hakkai." Was he finally waking? He looked at Hakkai's face, his eyes still lost in the sea of want, the lids heavy. No, he was still under.

"Sanzo," he purred, hips giving a soft jerk.

"Is this what you need, Hakkai?" Sanzo swallowed, muscles tense above his thrashing body. It was like talking to a wild animal. No response except for the carnal instinct of what it wanted. Hakkai groaned this time, hips rocking impatiently. "Alright," Sanzo whispered to him and gave in.

Sanzo took and breath and let Hakkai's wrists go, easing up to work his robes off. It was hard working around his legs that still held him, but he managed. Hakkai understood and shifted more when he saw the robe coming off. His claws traced over black cotton the clung to tight muscle.

"Don't rip it, Sanzo mutter and pulled the shirt off over his head and tossed it aside. Hakkai made a almost displeased sound for not getting his way. "Don't get cocky either," Sanzo said. He watched Hakkai move his face closer to his chest, the tip of his tongue sliding out to roll around a nipple. He grunted, gripping his dark hair roughly. The pleasure went straight to his loins, fogging the last bit of restraint he had left. He gripped Hakkai's shoulder and pressed him back, his own mouth descending to his exposed neck, tasting his skin.

Hakkai's vines still lay limp and useless, but his body was pure energy, trembling and inviting beneath him. The robes he wore were strewn and half off his body already from all the thrashing around. Sanzo let his eyes wander, spreading the cloth open to expose his body. He was completely nude underneath. When he'd told him to be comfortable, apparently Hakkai had taken it very seriously before arriving.

"Will you remember this, Hakkai?" Sanzo rasped, tracing a finger over a still vine that extended to his slim hip. He got a moan in response, along with muscles jerking under his touch. "Tell me I'm doing the right thing," he murmured, more to himself, as he lowered his lips to the same vine, sliding his tongue along the leafy marking. He felt the slap of Hakkai's arousal bouncing against his abs. He cursed to himself and lowered, sliding his body down to see just how aroused Hakkai was.

Sanzo ran his fingers along Hakkai's inner thighs, tracing more dormant vines and listened to his increased intakes of breath. Sorry, Hakkai. These vines will stay useless for now. I need to be in control this time. Sanzo kept his hands pressed to Hakkai's thighs as he moved in, sliding his tongue from his balls and along the length of his cock until he reached the leaking head. Hakkai moaned low, thighs trembling under his hand. Forbidden fruit yes, but Sanzo tasted it nonetheless, wrapping his lips around his organ, sucking soft along the flesh.

He traced a vein with his tongue, lowering again to lap at his tight balls. Hakkai squirmed more, moaning louder with each exploration of tongue and lips on his manhood. Sanzo eased a finger along his ass, tracing his entrance that was already puckered. He went further, spreading his cheeks to run his tongue around the eager entrance, slicking him up for what would come. Hakkai's claws scraped at the wood floor as he groaned almost savagely when Sanzo pushed two fingers into his body. There was only a slight resistance, then his fingers were welcomed, hugged tight by the muscles of his tunnel.

Sanzo lapped around his fingers as he thrust them, groaning when his own cock pressed hard and tight against his jeans. He was getting as much satisfaction from Hakkai's reaction. His body jerked and begged for more, punctuated my whimpers and shaky moans of pleasure. Sanzo didn't resist the seductive pull and even if he'd wanted to, it was much too late to stop now. His own hunger rose, a pleasure he rarely gave into. The writhing man he was toying with had unlocked that secret door.

"Fuck," Sanzo rasped, fingers still plunging and rolling inside him. Hakkai had set to rocking to the digits, pearl drops of pre-cum wetting his cock head. Sanzo hastily worked his belt and jeans open with one hand, shifting his body in earnest to free himself of his clothing. His own hectic breath mingled with Hakkai's, their lust equal in intensity. Hakkai grabbed for him, legs opening wider in complete submission. He took the invitation, moving back up, fingers slipping free. He didn't even have time to push into his body. Hakkai yanked him forward with a low growl, ass rising up to meet his groin.

"Ah, still being cocky," Sanzo groaned as he slipped into the flushed heat of his body. Hakkai's mouth opened in a silent moan, his body trembling. Sanzo smirked, panting as his hips thrust. His cock slipped in deep, pulled free, then slipped roughly back again. Hakkai met each movement with abandon, clawed hands running soft over Sanzo's sweat soaked back. The priest cursed breathlessly, feeling the sting of shallow scratches. His arousal heightened with the pain, his hips moving with more vigor. The slapping sound of their flesh filled his ears, clouding his mind.

Sanzo couldn't stop looking at Hakkai's face, the pleasure in his expression searing in his memory. Again, he wondered if Hakkai would remember this. His cock throbbed. Too good. He wasn't going to last much longer, and when Hakkai rolled his hips harder, he lost more of his will power. Let him be free.

"Your past binds you," Sanzo whispered and groaned.

"Sanzo..." Hakkai's eyes rolled closed, his voice rising.

"I refuse to bind you as well," Sanzo swore, voice wavering with the rising ecstasy. He whispered a few words, voice strong, even with the soft, musical tone, releasing the vines once again. They extended as soon as the spell was broken, sliding over Sanzo's body with caressing touches. He grunted when he felt Hakkai tighten hard around his thrusting cock. The hot spurt of his seed came next against his stomach, along with a satisfied cry.

"San...zo.."

"Fuck!" Every time he moaned his name he came undone a little more. He shuddered, stomach slick with sweat a spent seed, the motion still rubbing Hakkai's spent cock. He didn't trust his own voice and captured Hakkai's lips with a rough kiss, tongue thrusting as his lower body was. When he let go, his voice muffled against Hakkai's dancing tongue. He tasted blood and felt the stinging sensation from his fangs accidentally piercing him, but he kept up the searing kiss until his body was spent.

Panting, he pulled back from Hakkai's kiss swollen lips. Candlelight enhanced his features. His eyelids were half shut, his lips parted and covered with traces of Sanzo's blood. Sweat soaked his wild hair, making it stick to his face. He smiled one last time, then his eyes slipped closed, his breath going soft and deep.

"And you fall asleep again," Sanzo whispered as the vines pulled back gently to their master. He hissed as he eased himself from Hakkai's body, sitting back. The room had the noticeable scent of sex and it was more pleasant to the senses than the incense that continued to burn away. He licked blood from his lips and pulled the band of his sleeve off his upper arm to remove it. He gently cleaned Hakkai's mouth off with the black cloth and sighed. He would have to clean the rest of him too. He couldn't leave him to wake up covered in spent seed.

"Even the monkey doesn't get this kind of catering from me," Sanzo said to the sleeping man as he cleaned him. He felt the strong urge for a stiff drink and a whole pack of cigarettes. His cool eyes softened during the process as he dressed Hakkai back in the robes. His slipped his own back on languidly, wondering if he'd done the right thing. "Sleep well, my friend." He blew out the candles and left him in the darkness of the prayer room.