Confessions & Cigarettes

They took a cab from the hotel, Ryuichi wearing a short sleeve shirt over his tank top and slacks and looking very causal, Hiro still in his tee shirt and jeans, and both wearing sunglasses against the possibility of getting recognized. After the cab dropped them off, Ryuichi led the way down the streets, not saying much to Hiro as they walked. Hiro for his part didn't say much back, just glad that they were out of the studios and away from work. He felt a pang of guilt over skipping out on the rest of Bad Luck, but they were probably on break as well.

Ryuichi stopped at a street light and rocked back on his heels, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Hiro joined him, squinting up at the bright sun and feeling the cool air tug at his hair. The singer glanced at him - blue eyes half hidden by his purple-tinted granny glasses - and grinned.

"Do you see that eatery up ahead?"

Hiro frowned, seeing an off-white sign with bright red kanji announcing food beyond the lights. "Yeah, I think so."

"Race you there!"

Ryuichi took off, crossing the street despite the lights being against them. Hiro winced, cursed and took off after him, dodging a couple cars and hoping that no one realized who they almost ran over. Someone honked and without breaking his stride, Ryuichi flipped them off, hit the sidewalk and accelerated. Hiro bit his lip and followed, ignoring the loud yelling. For shorter man, Ryuichi could run, and he was at the door to the small eatery before Hiro managed to catch up to him.

Grinning widely, he draped his arm over Hiro's shoulders and dragged him inside. Hiro had an impression of low booths arranged around a central seating area before he was dragged through the dimly lit room and past a beaded curtain into a brightly lit room filled with steaming pots and mingling smells of hot oil and salt. Two elderly people in matching aprons looked up from rolling out dough on a long table at their entrance. Ryuichi let Hiro go and tackled first one and then the other, lifting them up and spinning them around before setting them down.

"Yuudai! Emi! Meet Hiroshi!"

The guitarist found himself surrounded by the two cooks. Trying to pretend like it was everyday he was dragged into a restaurant to meet the owners; he smiled and sketched a bow. "I'm sorry for bothering you. . ."

"Oh, do not worry about that, young man," Emi said, smiling and wiping flour-covered hands on her apron. "Ryuichi is always barging in on us without any warning."

"At least this time he is not in full stage gear," Yuudai added, adjusting his glasses and leaving streaks of flour on his face. "Hiroshi, was it? What is your family name?"

"Nakano."

"Huh, that is not a familiar name, is it, Emi?"

"He is not from around here, I do know that," she replied, smiling and taking Hiro's hands in hers. "Welcome to our place, Hiroshi."

"Thank you" he replied.

Emi smiled and turned back to Ryuichi, picking up a wooden spoon and smacking his out-stretched fingers. Ryuichi yelped and moved away from a steaming pot of food, donning one of the most hurt expressions Hiro had seen in a long time.

"I suppose they are hungry," Yuudai said, already putting together a small tray on the other side of the long table. "It is not like Ryuichi comes to see us any other time."

"I'm hurt! I visit you two whenever I have a chance and you know that."

This time Yuudai was the one to smack him, using the flat of his hand across the back of his head. "Idiot," he said, smiling as he did so. Ryuichi huffed, rubbing at the spot and then blinked as a tray loaded with a small tea pot and two cups was shoved under his nose.

"Go sit down and we will bring the rest of the food out when it is done."

"They never let me cook," Ryuichi said, sniffing even as he took the tray. "They are so mean."

"Ryuichi, you can burn water," Emi replied, shaking her head before shooing the two musicians out of the kitchen. Torn between being amused and wondering exactly who those two people were, Hiro followed Ryuichi to a booth and slid into the seat opposite of Ryuichi.

He set the tray down and poured tea for them both, sliding a cup over to Hiro. "So, what do you think?"

Hiro picked up his cup, taking a sip of the bitter hot tea as he looked around. It was quiet - Hiro was more used to having screaming fans showing up whenever he and Shuichi stopped at their usual haunts. There were a couple old men in a corner booth, playing Go and drinking out of small round cups. Thin slants of light fell through bamboo blinds onto the floor, dust shifting with the movement of the air. Everything was in warm earth colors with cool accents of green and blue, and very simple looking.

"It's not what I expected," he answered, taking another sip of tea.

"You were thinking that I dined out at fancy places all the time?"

"It did cross my mind."

Ryuichi laughed, running his fingers around the edge of his cup. "I'm a pretty simple guy when I'm not in the public's eye."

Hiro looked at Ryuichi for a long moment, trying to fit the term 'simple' against what he saw of the singer. Parts of him seemed very simple indeed, but other parts were so deep that he felt that he would never understand him. Like why did he feel the need to show him this? Why did Ryuichi spend time with him? Why him? There were more interesting musicians in the N-G studios than a simple guitar player.

The quiet air was disturbed by a loud bang followed by a high pitched voice yelling 'I'm home!' Ryuichi jumped out of his seat like his strings were pulled, tea sloshing from his turned over cup on the table. Trying to wipe up the spilt tea, Hiro didn't notice at first that Ryuichi looked both paler and tenser than normal, and that the sounds from the kitchen and the two old men in the corner had fallen silent. He did notice the young girl in a school uniform standing in the slanted light from the doorway, a neon green bookbag in one hand and a hat in the other hand, her eyes wide. Hiro looked at Ryuichi's back, seeing the way his shoulders were set, the way his whole body looked ready to collapse like a proud building giving in to time and thoughtless hands. Then the girl shrieked, dropping her bag and hat to the ground and ran to him. He picked her up and swung her around, the excited cries of 'Daddy!' breaking the air into tiny golden shards.

In the crowded half-minute of time, Ryuichi and the girl exchanged a half dozen sentences that poured into Hiro's ear and out the other side without actually touching his brain. He was frozen, a handful of sopping wet napkins in his hand and mouth open, the world having shifted from under his feet again. He could accept Ryuichi having a sexual side - the singer had shown that on and off the stage. He could accept that Ryuichi probably had a number of lovers and that he probably will have a lot more when he went back to L.A. Hiro just couldn't wrap his mind around Ryuichi having a child.

Settling her on his hip, Ryuichi turned to Hiro and smiled. "Hiro, this is Hikari. Hikari, this is Hiro. He works with N-G too."

She peered up at him from under messy bangs, and then hid her face against Ryuichi's side. The singer laughed and bent down, setting her on the ground and tousling her hair. She turned, peering at Hiro with large light brown eyes before hiding her face again.

"I guess she is being shy," Ryuichi said, looking up at Hiro. He smiled and crouched down to Hikari's eyelevel. "Why don't you pick your stuff up and put it away. Then you can join us, okay?"

Nodding, she sped off and Ryuichi watched her for a moment or two before getting up and sliding back into his seat. Hiro sucked in his breath and looked around to find a place for the used napkins. Ryuichi turned his cup upright and filled it up again.

". . .You okay, man?"

"I think I'll have white hair before this month is out," Hiro replied, putting the napkins to the side and rubbing his face. "I just. . . too many shocks, I guess."

"I know what you mean," he replied, his fingers toying with his cup. In the background, Hiro could hear Yuudai and Emi and Hikari, their voices a blur of sound accented by the hiss of steam and oil. "It is a big shock. Word of advice, always carry extra just in case the first one breaks."

"What?"

Sly blue eyes looked at Hiro over the top of his sunglasses, and mobile lips twisted into an amused smirk as the singer purred. "You're planning on remaining celibate all your life?"

Heat flooded his cheeks, but before he could think of a reply, Hiro felt his seat shift. He looked over and blinked at the girl who had climbed into the booth next to him and leaned forward, her tiny hands resting on his leg for balance. She studied him for a long moment, nodded to herself and then broke out into a smile that was an echo of Ryuichi's.

"Hi!"

"Hi," he said, glancing out of the corner of his eyes. Ryuichi looked amused and something more, leaning back in his seat and taking a sip of his tea.

"Are you dating daddy?"

He thought he couldn't blush any more, but that comment brought more heat to his face. He groaned and tried to look anywhere but at her or Ryuichi. Across from him, Ryuichi was coughing harshly, sloshing tea out of the cup in his hand and his face turning red.

"No. . . We're just friends."

"Hikari. . ." Ryuichi gasped out, thumping his chest with his free hand. "Where. . ?"

"Miss Kumi says that it's in for singers to date guys cuz of the Lucky singer dating the scribbling guy," she said, bouncing in her seat and smiling. "I didn't tell her that daddy's a singer but I gotta ask cuz you only bring people you really like or people you really want to like you here."

"Oh dear Lord," Ryuichi groaned and smacked his head against the table.

Hiro coughed and looked down at the little girl. "How old are you, Hikari?"

She blinked and looked up, painfully reminding Hiro of Ryuichi when he was in full-blown child-mode. "I'm six!"

"And how old is Miss Kumi?"

"Miss Kumi is my teacher!"

"Miss Kumi talks to you about singers?" Hiro asked, having mentally translated 'Lucky singer' into Shuichi and 'scribbling guy' into Eiri.

"Well, she only talked a little about the one cuz she went to their concert the other day and everyone asked her about it and then she talked a little about her big secret crush and how much she wished she was the scribbling guy," she said in a big rush, not even pausing for breath.

"Oh," Hiro replied while trying hard to not think about the implications of that statement. He shook his head. "But Hikari, such questions aren't right to ask in front of a whole bunch of people."

"They aren't?"

"They aren't." Hiro nodded and leaned forward, dropping his voice. "You don't want nosy people to overhear such private things and put in a bad paper."

"So I can ask daddy that when we're all alone and he's showing me pictures of mama?"

"That's right."

"Oooh, I see! Why didn't Miss Kumi say that to us?"

"I don't know," Hiro said. "But let's not talk about that, okay?"

"Okay!"

Ryuichi peered up at the two of them from underneath his arms. Hikari leaned over the table and rubbed her hands through his hair, making the singer laugh and sit up and mess her hair up. Hiro smiled, keeping an eye on the little girl in case she slipped off her seat, but he didn't need to worry as Emi appeared and scolded them. Once Hikari and Ryuichi were settled in their spots, Yuudai and Emi came out with bowls and small square plates of food. Hiro blinked at the amount of food they were given, but Ryuichi and Hikari didn't seem to think it was too much.

Picking up his chopsticks, Ryuichi clapped his hands together before tugging the paper off of them and picking up a rice ball. Clumsily, Hikari copied him and Hiro followed suit. Ryuichi started asking Hikari questions about her school and her friends in between bites, while Hiro ate silently, watching the two interact. It was cute, but he wondered where the girl's mother was and if Ryuichi had loved her. It was clear that he loved his daughter, and yet he didn't claim her - well, he didn't claim her to the public. For some reason this neighborhood seemed to accept him as one of theirs and did not announce the fact that the star stayed there.

More questions. It seemed that Ryuichi enjoyed making them in his head and not answer any of them. Hiro finished his meal and set his chopsticks down, smiling as father and daughter fought over the last rice ball. Maybe the next time he got to talk to Ryuichi alone, he was going to get some answers. But for now, he was going to enjoy this quiet time before things got hectic again.