Flowers for a Weed | By : ArcadiaEclipse Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 5296 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I make no money from my writing. |
Warnings: Yaoi (RussiaxAmerica), extreme angst, language, violence, non-consensual situations, hurt/comfort and explicit sexual depictions ahead. This fanfic is intended for adult readers only.
~ * ~ Flowers for a Weed ~ * ~
Chapter Four
By ArcadiaEclipse
It was forty long, grueling months before I was well enough to stand on my own two feet let alone walk about my property without growing terribly winded or breaking my stitches open from the slightest exertion. My very first destination once mobile was to visit what had once been my greatest source of pleasure- the large greenhouse that I had faithfully tended for decades now fallen into disrepair in my extended absence.
Barely recognizable were the basins and planters where my cherished flowers once blossomed and filled the air with a veritable potpourri or scents, each bloom more fragrant than the last. The forest of roses, tulips, begonias and exotic orchids was gone now, and though tears of sorrow pricked my eyes and collected in my lashes I found myself smiling to see an oceanof Alfred’s favorite chamomile had taken over every available inch of soil, clay and even jutted overtly from the cement walkway beneath my feet. I wandered in silence among the rows of decay now buried under a flood of weeds.
“You are far stronger than all the flowers of the world, Alfred.”
I chuckled, imaging the American’s reaction when I wrote him in detail of how his precious weed must have seeded before Alfred took it away and now the little plant’s numerous offspring had managed to take over all else in my greenhouse. He would laugh and chide me for thinking that even the weeds in my garden must require my undivided attention to grow big and strong like the flowers that I had spent years cultivating. Yes, I would write Alfred right away and tell him of this unexpected turn of events.
My steps were still slow but thankfully steady now as I returned to the house and climbed the stairs again to return to my bedroom and the large wooden desk therein. It had been quite awhile since I wrote him last. The brash American must be impatient with me by now, but for so long I had nothing of any real interest to report to him and my letters had fallen to the wayside as a result. Grinning, I dug quickly through my desk drawer to withdraw a small pile of letters, each one preserved with the utmost care, and set about thumbing through the entries looking for his most recent correspondence to me. His words were almost burned into my memory, so frequently had I read them while bed bound, but upon locating Alfred’s last penned message and scanning his messy handwriting I could feel my heart sink.
* * *
September 19th, 1993
Ivan,
I really hope that my letter finds you well and is not lost in the mail like my others must be. I have not heard from you for nearly a year now and yet I find myself still penning these notes to you as if nothing has changed, always hoping that you might respond one of these days. I am terribly worried about you, my friend. If you get this, please write to me or call just to let me know whether you are hurt and in need of my help? It’s been so long since we spoke, Ivan. I’m scared sick worrying about you…
* * *
My eyes grew blurry and I was unable to read the remainder of the letter, no longer focusing on the young American’s words as tears began spilling over my cheeks in a flood of sorrow and regret. Why day was it? What year even? I had lost track of so much time while lying injured and immobile in my bed, idly watching the seasons change time and time again through the curtains of my window.
I sent for one of my caretakers, surely frightening the poor girl with my sudden zeal as I dressed myself frantically, my fingers trembling on the buttons while I demanded that a newspaper be brought to me without delay. I needed answers. I simply had to know how long it had been since Alfred gave up on me and ceased his correspondence. Upon her return I eagerly snatched the newspaper from the servant girl’s fingers and for the second time in less than an hour I could feel my heart plummet towards my feet.
April 3rd, 1995. Nineteen months had lapsed since Alfred last wrote to me and yet somehow my brain had failed to comprehend that fact. What was I doing with my life just staying cooped up in here and ignoring the rest of the world? I could only imagine what Alfred though must have befallen me in our years apart.
“I need a flight to Vienna. Urgently.”
The small servant nodded quickly and all but fled my chambers in her rush to comply with my request as soon as possible. They weren’t my obedient Baltics, but then again none of my current wait staff had ever tried to disembowel me either.
My flight was thankfully uneventful and I was moderately relieved to discover that the conference center for the United Nations had not changed very much during the years that I was absent. Perhaps I was the one that was different now. My weight had dropped considerably after my allies removed themselves from my grasp, and though I had never considered myself fat I was certainly a leaner, narrower nation in outward appearance now.
“You look like a model, Mr. Braginski!” I smiled for the small secretary as she ushered me through the hallways but hardly dared to believe her gushing words. Only Alfred’s opinion mattered to me in the long run.
From just outside the doorway I watched the secretary approach the American and hand him a small piece of paper which he glanced at, seemed to do a double take, then swallowed hard and looked up at the doorway finally meeting my gaze. My eyes were only upon him but I was very much aware that the other nations had all turned to see what Alfred was staring at.
“The uh…” Alfred coughed, “T-the United States of Americawould like to welcome the esteemed delegate of the Russian Federation…Ivan Braginski.”
The room was silent. For a moment it seemed as if they had all spotted a ghost in their midst when I held my head high and walked slowly so as not to betray any hint of lingering pains as I followed the secretary to an empty chair between the German and Hungarian representatives. Elizaveta beamed at me, cheerfully welcoming me to the discussion but Ludwig’s arms remained crossed over his chest smirking slightly at me.
“You decided to come back.”
“They permit you to speak at these meetings now, Ludwig?” I couldn’t contain the grin creeping over my lips. “I thought that you were required to sit at the children’s table and keep your mouth shut.”
He chuckled, evidently finding my retort amusing.
“Those days are long gone, Ivan. The Berlin Wall has fallen and East and Western Germanyhave been unified under a single flag again. I am a full representative of the United Nations now. Do you not pay attention to the news?”
“Unfortunately I’ve been feeling a little under the weather for a few years now. World politics haven’t been my forte for many months.”
I heard a soft cough to my left and both Ludwig and I glanced to the side in time to see Toris rise from his chair and hurriedly excuse himself from the meeting though already in the process of running from the room. The very corner of my lips twitched into a tiny smirk. It was good to see them nervous in my presence again. Even Eduard and Raivis were staring down at the table in front of them refusing to meet my gaze. Only Natalia was grinning outright in my direction and I quickly averted my eyes back to the head of the table were Alfred stood staring at me still before clearing his throat again.
“We were just about to end our meeting for the day, Ivan. Did you wish to speak before we conclude today’s discussion?”
“I would like to speak with you in private.”
Alfred’s cheeks turned scarlet on the spot but the American nodded, picking up a small pile of papers and tapping them purposely on the table with a sense of finality.
“Then today’s meeting is dismissed. Thank you all for coming.”
The other nations rose from their seats and spoke idly with one another as they exited but Alfred Jones remained behind per my request and it took much of my considerable patience to wait for all of the others to leave before I approached him with an apologetic smile.
“I am so very sorry, my friend. Sorry I did not respond to your letters.”
“It’s okay, Ivan. I know you were badly injured.”
The silence felt thick, almost tangible between us. Something more than just the passage of time had happened in my absence. Alfred was having trouble looking me in the eye and this nervousness wasn’t normal for my proud lover.
“Alfred?”
“I met someone.” His eyes remained downcast as the young American toed the carpet softly. “I.. ..I didn’t hear from you for so long, Ivan. And..and I got stronger over the years. Others..kept asking for my help and..and I realized..I didn’t need a protector. …I needed to protect others, keep them safe…”
Our relationship, however brief, had consumed my every waking thought for years. How could he have moved on? He was right of course, but that didn’t reassure me in the least. Alfred was ridiculously strong; he didn’t need me and so many others desperately needed the American as a public pillar of strength and a model for all others. Biting my lip, I reached out to softly touch his jaw with my fingers and tipped his chin up to make him look me in the eyes even as I forced a soft smile onto my face.
“I trust he or she is treating you well. Who is it that you protect these days, Alfred?”
“Matthew Williams. He’s uh.. Well, he’s my northern neighbor from Canada. Things just..kinda progressed one day I guess.”
“He is lucky to have you, Alfred. Tell him I said that.”
The American blinked at me but nodded and smiled weakly as I withdrew my hand from his flesh and even offered him a parting grin on my way to the door. Once outside though, my facade disappeared in an instant and my face was yet again expressionless. I had only taken three or four steps before someone came up behind me and boldly gripped my wrist to tug me down an adjacent hallway. I was startled mostly because my brain was angsting over Alfred’s new love but Ludwig’s smirk gave me pause and the German chuckled at my surprised expression.
“I think you are sorely in need of a drink, my friend.”
“I’m not thirsty.”
“People rarely drink liquor when they’re thirsty. Besides, it’s my treat.”
I could not remember the last time that I had smiled genuinely in the German’s presence but I chuckled at his comment and nodded my agreement with his suggestion. There was nothing else left for me here right now.
The bar was thankfully close to the conference center, most likely a deliberate act on behalf of the owner. I could only imagine how many distraught countries had drowned their woes here between heated debates and deal making. Upon entering I immediately spotted Toris in a corner and though the young nation seemed intent on getting drunk the moment that he spotted me the Lithuanian hurriedly paid his tab and once again scurried out the door dragging Eduard and Raivis in tow. One of these days they would need to learn to speak with me again.
At least with the establishment empty now the bartender was able to focus exclusively on myself and the German perched on the stool beside me as we called for a three rounds of vodka shots to start. The strong liquor burned my chest with an air of familiarity but I coughed slightly after the first one making Ludwig’s brow quirk.
“My doctors made me abstain for the duration of my illness. It has been decades since I had trouble like this.” I chuckled to cover up my embarrassment at the unexpected turn of events. After all, it was common knowledge that Russians consumed vodka like it was water.
Ludwig laughed but ordered another round of shots for me once I finished my current three as well as a beer for himself.
“Perhaps I will succeed in out drinking you tonight, Russian?”
“Stranger things have happened in this lifetime.”
Another drink became two, three became thirteen and though my body adjusted quickly to the alcohol flowing again through my veins the bartender seemed less than pleased with my restored tolerance. It was growing late and I was vaguely aware that most of the lights had been turned off save for those lining the bar where we sat drowning my sorrows together. I didn’t bother listening in when Ludwig summoned the annoyed little man, sliding a small stack of bills over the bar towards him and though the man seemed reluctant he finally nodded and plunked two more bottles of the powerful vodka down on the bar before locking up the rest of the liquor and grabbing his coat.
“The door will lock behind you.”
“Appreciate it.”
The German watched me take one of the bottles and pour another three shots of the liquor into my glasses, downing them without comment then pouring another round. Come to think of it, when was the last time that I saw Ludwig pour any liquor for himself? Hadn’t he been nursing the same beer for almost an hour? Why wasn’t the German trying to out drink me after dragging me to the bar for the sake of getting drunk?
“Here, ‘ll..pour you a lil too..”
My words were really starting to slur from the effects of the liquor and my hand was clumsy when shifting to grab his empty shot glass, ultimately wincing at the sound of broken glass when I knocked it off of the bar in accident causing it to shatter on the floor in a hundred tiny pieces. I cursed and rose from the stool to pick up the pieces but Ludwig quickly gripped my wrist preventing me from doing so.
“You are going to hurt yourself if you do that.”
“ ‘m not that..easy to hurt.”
“There was a time when I believed that, Ivan.”
My cheeks were red from the liquor and though his hand remained around my wrist I only tugged the appendage half-heartedly and the German’s grip remained tight and unrelenting. He didn’t seem intoxicated at all now that I thought about it. Had Ludwig consciously taken me here with the express intention of getting me drunk on purpose?
Any doubts in my mind were suddenly shattered as the younger man used his solid frame to back me into the wooden edge of the bar and pressed our bodies together from chest to hip before tipping his head and sealing our lips together in a long, lusty kiss. I refused to part my lips for him though Ludwig seemed eager to delve between them and though my mind swirled in an intoxicated fit of confusion and displeasure with his actions the German growled and suddenly gripped my hips, spinning me about and then shoving my face onto the polished wood of the counter while my hips remained pinned to a bar stool before him.
He didn’t speak as my pants were unfastened and pushed down past my knees and I didn’t acknowledge his actions when the resounding swish of a zipper sliding down echoed through the otherwise empty bar. Barely a second passed before the German spit into his hand and lubricated himself, the blonde’s erection then prodding insistently at my backside seeking entrance. I somehow doubted that my words would have deterred the aroused foreigner behind me even if I had told him to stop, though whether he took my silence as permission was anyone’s guess.
The only sound to leave my throat was a choked gasp when Ludwig finally found his target and slid deeply into my body on a single, painful stroke. I had been through so many injuries, so much blood and pain had flooded and flowed from my body in the last forty months that the German’s unwelcome invasion should be but a scratch in comparison, and yet the forced intimacy behind this act of unrestrained violence struck a chord with me. Ludwig forced my cheek harder into the wooden counter making me wince but I doubted that it was an action driven by pure malice. The younger man seemed utterly consumed with snapping his hips forward in an unrelenting litany of thrusts born from primal need that had likely lay dormant in his chest since the Second World War
“I dreamed of this, Ivan,” he whispered low into my ear and even offered a small, searing kiss to the back of my neck as he fucked me in earnest. “You have no idea. For years..I fantasized about invading you like this..”
Perhaps I was a fool for allowing myself to become drunk in this man’s presence. The memories of Stalingrad 1942 were still fresh in both of our minds- the German army pushing relentlessly closer for the sake of claiming me but General Winter was on my side and of the three hundred thousands troops that Ludwig had sent to overtake me only a third were left to stumble home in the brutal aftermath of defeat. Maybe this was fitting justice then.
The German’s relentless fervor suddenly elicited a sharp gasp from my lips courtesy of a particularly deep thrust striking something unfamiliar deep inside of my body and sending sparks parading through my vision. His cock twitched but remained firmly locked against the sensitive bundle of nerves deep inside of my body, and it was a minute more before I realized that the younger man was flooding me with his seed. I remained motionless beneath him, trapped between the bar stool and Ludwig’s lightly trembling frame as he slowly released his abusive grip on my head and seemed willing to relent after having spent himself inside of me.
“Ivan,” My name sounded slightly shaky on his lips as he slowly withdrew from my body and tucked himself carefully away again though he seemed reluctant to separate himself fully from my flesh. “I could protect you if you’d let me.”
I didn’t respond, consciously choosing not to demonstrate that I had heard a single word that Ludwig uttered while pressed flush to my back after fucking my body repeatedly. As the tall blonde pulled away finally, my eyes remained downcast and though one of my hands slowly raised my pants again for the sake of common decency I did not strike him or even attempt to flee in fear of being violated again. I could see him watching me, waiting to see how I would retaliate against him. The German must have been at least moderately surprised when I moved slowly to sit again at the bar and pour yet another shot of the strong liquor into my glass as if nothing at all had happened.
“You..pay for drink tonight. Thank you.”
“…Y-..Yeah.”
The younger blonde was certainly confused by my apparent inability to realize that I had just been raped, but I said nothing about it and after watching me drink for a minute Ludwig sighed and leaned back against the wooden edge of the bar, lighting his cigarette and smoking beside me in silence while I continued drowning my sorrows in a bottle of vodka. I harbored no mutual affections for the other man but Ludwig didn’t push me to reciprocate his apparent interest in me and I wasn’t much in the mood to drink alone anyway.
By the time that both bottles were empty I was barely able to sit up straight let alone stand. Only the German’s powerful arm wrapped possessively around my waist kept me from stumbling excessively as he half-dragged, half-carried me back to the delegation’s hotel and away from the rest of the world. For now my problems and lingering memories of Alfred that had led me to seek drunken relief at the bar were forgotten.
I was utterly intoxicated and Ludwig made short work of stripping my clothes off, spreading my thighs and forcibly holding me immobile on the bed as he mounted me yet again. Somehow through my drunken stupor I could still vaguely hear myself asking him to take me back to my room but the German ended my intoxicated plea by pressing his lips firmly to mine, wordlessly denying me the right to leave him and escape the sex that he fully intended to inflict upon me, willing or otherwise. Unable to think clearly, far too drunken to fight him off or yell for help, spread and invaded by force for what felt like hours- at least here I could pretend to feel wanted by someone again.
~ * ~ To Be Continued ~ * ~
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