If You Get To Heaven

Title: If You Get To Heaven
Author: Greedy Little Bastard
Rating: M
Summary: LxNearxBB. The reason why Near is so cool about L's death.
Disclaimer: I don't p*wn Death Note.
Author's Note: Betaed by Cetrasai. If not for her you would never get the last chapter. All mistakes are mine. Near is 16 in this. L and BB are 25.
Warnings: Non-con.


Chapter 5

The Inevitable

25th July 2010 20:00. Room: Near.

Near closes his net-book and goes to the door. His pale posture freezes the moment he opens it and after tugging a couple of times at his hair he lets someone in. Because it's night, and he feels lonely. And because it's L, and he wants him. And maybe L will even sleep with him in the same bed if they spend all night solving puzzles and fall asleep somewhere in the process.

"I know something about Nia," L paused. "Nia has never been kissed before."

Near's pale eyes widened. What did L think about him? Did he think there was something wrong with Near, and Mello had a better chance at succeeding L? Should he be like Mello, whose relationship with Matt the whole orphanage knows about?

"Will Nia give me his first kiss?" L was smiling.

So L just wants to kiss him? Was Near's inexperience really of no importance to him?

"What are you waiting for, L?" Near answers, "Wouldn't it be smarter to just snatch a kiss, to prove to me I can enjoy it?"

Though L bent his head down, Near had to wrap his arms around his neck and stand on his tiptoes in order to bring his lips to the same level as L's.

Near wants to touch those lips, run his tongue over them. But he doesn't even try to act on it, as he stands there, waiting for L to make the first move.

L's lips bumped into his, gently probing at them, mouthing over them. He wasn't rushing it at all. Near felt the tip of L's tongue dancing lightly at his lips, making his head spin. He drew in air through his mouth, and L's tongue was slowly dragged over the inner side of Near's upper lip, brushing against his teeth; L's slow motions were letting Near to absorb each new sensation. The arms around L tightened.

Near barely noticed when the slight licking of the tongues became hard sucking on his mouth and sharp nipping on his lips. Hands slid down his thighs, and L picked him up from the floor, and with Near's legs gripping him around his waist, leaned him against the wall.

Near was tugging at L's hair, his moans muffled, his back pressed against the wall too tight. He liked it despite L moving his mouth too fast and too rough. L's hands were set against the wall on the both sides of Near's head. He didn't pay any attention to the small noises coming from the direction of the door.

Near turned his head only to see someone in the white shirt fumbling with the door lock, someone Near could mistake for L. And someone Near was afraid of. The kisses never ceased and it was hard to see because of L's hair getting in the way, but Near could swear he saw BB slowly licking his lips as he advanced towards them.

Near watched him reach out and lovingly stroke the nape of L's neck. Then he reached for the switch.

The light went off.

Near didn't feel the wall against his back anymore, he was placed on the floor with L still holding him against himself. Near could feel someone standing behind him and he started as someone's fingers ran over his nape. BB's fingers.

B's other hand sneaked around him, and he heard him whispering: "Near" into his ear.

BB and L were kissing over Near's head and L was groaning into it. It was the moment when Near realized he didn't care if Beyond Birthday was here or not. Because judging by how L was lost in the kiss, he wouldn't stay here without BB. And Near wanted L to stay.

He could feel BB's erection. It was so hard. Just like L's pressing into his stomach. Just like his own, against L's thigh and against BB's palm. L kicked Near's legs apart placing his leg between them and rubbing against him.

BB crashed onto the bed making room for them. L pushed Near, making him topple over and land onto the mattress, where BB picked him up and dragged to the upper part of the bed. In no time L was hovering over him. Near tried to touch him, to sneak his hand under L's shirt, but BB gripped him by his wrists.

He was leaning against the headboard, half sitting, tightly holding Near against his chest. L crawled in front of Near, palming his erection and leaned in for another kiss. BB's face was buried in Near's neck, his lips and tongue playing with it, his hair brushing over Near's cheek.

At some point, BB raises his head up from Near's neck and claimed L's lips; L's cock presses hard against Near's as they kiss and, Near can tell, L is kissing BB much harder then he had kissed him. His eyes are closed and he seems to be out of control. Near dwells on this as he watches L's head roll back and BB's lips catch up with L's sudden retreat and attach themselves under his chin.

Near tries to free his arms, but BB's fingers bite into the tender skin of his wrists even more. L takes off his clothes, his pale body clearly displayed in the twilight. Then he drags the pajama off of the white-haired boy, and Near lets him.

L is panting, his lids heavy with lust. He pressed himself against Near and moaned, and that moan changes everything. It was the point where L forgot Near needed to take it slow. Near feels his teeth, his nails, on his body, and first he can handle it. That's before he shudders at BB sinking his teeth into the crook of his neck and drawing blood. Near's body jerks, he can smell the blood, he feels sick. He doesn't moan anymore. He can only attempt to hold his breath and not to jerk in their embraces too violently. For with each attempt at freeing himself, BB's hands tighten to the point where his nails break the tender skin on Near's wrists.

L's mouth is on him. Near can count the bruises on his thighs that L's fingertips leave in their wake, just by the feeling of it. It feels good though: L's tongue and his ministrations. Beyond Birthday teasingly runs this hand through Near's white silky hair and then yanks his head towards his face. BB covers Near's mouth with his, and his kiss is just as passionate as the one he shared with L. Near's whole body tenses, a wave of spasms tearing through his body. Because he can taste blood, and because it's when L hums around his erection, and Near's eyes well up with tears.

Because what they are doing to his body is beyond his limits.

He tries to use his intellect to get out of this. BB's nose is so soft against his earshell, it rubs, it soothes. Near tries to still himself, to focus on L's tongue. He cannot let this get to the point where it will become rape. Neither of them will stop. They've gone too far for this. If he tries to get away, they'll do it anyway, only much more violently than now.

BB is sucking at his own fingers.

"You'll like this, Near," BB tells him while nudging his legs further apart. The fingers enter him in one swift stroke. Near moans despite himself. It hurts.

BB leans backwards, making Near lean back as well, putting his head on BB's shoulder.

"There is more," he tells him, bucking his hips, letting a low chuckle escape his lips.

Beyond shifts Near away from his panting, whispering:

"L."

The word is uttered with so much caring and lust for the man, that Near recalls for one moment why he wanted this. L unzips his fly and takes Beyond's cock into his mouth. BB's hips buck up. BB lets his head fall into the crook of Near's neck, who can feel on his abused skin how desperate for air BB is, how hard he is breathing with his mouth open against his skin.

BB grips at Near as he tries to get hold of himself but fails terribly and groans, fully out of control, drowning in pleasure. The fingers inside Near stop. The sounds that Beyond breathes out make Near think whether it's because L's doing him, because L is so good, or because L gives him exactly what B needs.

"I think you should go first, L," Near hears BB saying. And L wraps his arm around Near's neck and slides down onto Near's hard cock. There is barely enough saliva on it to make that easier on them both. When Near decides he likes it, BB pulls his fingers out of him, gripping his jaw as he guides himself inside of Near. The fingers are smeared with blood and it trickles down Near's lower jaw.

Near's body is trapped between L and BB as they move against him. Near doesn't know who loves pain more. Whether it's L, whose pale body slides up and down his without any regard to either of them, or if it's BB who slams so hard, Near stops breathing each time.

BB's lips are at his ear again, and what he says next terrifies Near:

"We won't stop 'till you come,"

Near wants to get away, he wants it to be a nightmare he could forget.

L's pale body is covered with sweat and he moans constantly. There is no gentleness in him, and though Near is fucking him it's L who's taking, demanding, not easing down even for a bit. Near is worried BB's lips on his neck will find a fresh wound. And suddenly that's it. Breathless, Near pleads:

"Please, please, please..."

L's lips find his and it's the kiss L was kissing B with. The raw lust, be the holding back forgotten. There is nothing in it that Near likes in a kiss.

BB bites his neck and Near comes. He feels great because from now on he can forget it'd happened, from now on this stops. He can sink back into his sheets and not feel like he is being torn apart.

Near hides under the covers and drifts off. This is the first night in a long, long sequence of nights that he doesn't dream.

Near wakes up to knocking on the door. He hastily searches for his pajamas. He is in pain but he need to cover up the dried blood. He buttons up and makes sure the marks on his neck are not seen. He rushes to the door, but there is no one behind it. There is something on the floor though, a black shiny thing: a 64 GB USB stick. Near picks it up.

He doesn't need to be told what's on it, but he sticks it into his notebook anyway. It's him on the screen. What had happened between him and L and BB had been carefully constructed in a movie making program. Matt probably sat over it the whole night to get it done by morning. He was the only one who was interested in vidding in Wammy.

Near takes the stick out. There is no point in deleting the video. L probably already has a copy, and another one Matt will keep for himself.

Near takes a shower. He's got the class to attend.

There are always people around us, who will help us to live through whatever it is we're going through. Whatever it is we fail, we just go to them, hoping others will be able to solve it for us. Because the others will if we don't suffice. But there is no one Near can turn to with this. Because Roger couldn't really deal with it, could he?

When he comes into a classroom four pair of eyes pierce through him: Mello's and Matt's because they know, L's and BB's because they were there. Mello and Matt are surprised he's here, when he should be crying his eyes out under the covers. Why hadn't he locked himself in a room, shying from people even more than before? The shock should have at least made him skip class.

Near takes a seat and tries to concentrate on today's lesson.

Because there is much more to Near than they thought.