Finding Your Way Home

Ranma was in massive pain and literally felt like she was going to die on her second day of de-toxing. She’d barely slept, her bones ached, and her muscles ached....heck her whole body ached for the one thing she refused to give it; the big H that had controlled her life for over a year a year. She fought against it while her body purged itself of what little food she’d managed to consume; she slept in snatches and felt hot, feverish and depressed. She shook and sweated, wearing only Mousse’s large t-shirts because any other clothes felt abrasive against her over sensitive flesh or too constricting, even her hair had been unbound as it the tight plait seemed to pull at her scalp. So panties and t-shirts it was for her, that Reiko helped her change everyday when she came after school to help. Throughout it all Mousse never left Ranma’s side and this she was grateful for....at least until Reiko came by and booted him out to allow Ranma privacy. He’d become her rock that kept her being swept back into the life she needed to escape from. Mousse massaged her stiff limbs when she was sore, coaxed her to eat even when most of it came back up and sleep the little amounts that she did. Often he’d crashed beside her on the futon that he’d put in her room as she found the western style bed too constricting to sleep in. Nadir was there to, but had to come and go as he had his degree to work on, leaving the lion’s share of the de-toxing to Mousse. He brought with him over-the-counter medication to help her: melatonin to help her sleep, Imodium for her stomach issues and ibuprofen for her body aches and it helped....a little. Ranma could barely stop herself weeping from the relentless pain. She felt like she was being tortured and was on fire at the same time. The only comfort she had was from the various pills and longed to throw herself into Mousse’s arms and beg him to make the pain stop, but she was too proud to do this. So she suffered stoically while it seemed as if sewage seeped from every hole in her body as her system cried out for the numbing comfort of H. ‘Just a little longer’ she thought as she felt Mousse stroking her back while she heaved up only bile from her stomach.

Mousse was worried for Ranma, she’d seemed the same Ranma to him, whether male or female in the past and suddenly she seemed so tiny and frail. But then she’d been merely an obstacle in his way to romance and now she was a person to him. A small woman who stood only five feet tall with tiny ice cold hand and feet, even her hourglass figure had been diminished by hard life, a woman he cared about. He agonized and felt so useless with his cool cloths that he used to bath the sweat from her face and limbs and whispered words. He wished that he could take her pain away and make it his own as she shook with her tiny body too hot and her skin too pale. When she looked at him, she looked so young and defenseless; Mousse promised himself that he would take care of her as long as she would let him. He knew that he was a fool to think that Ranma would need his help for long; he knew that she would kick this and leave him......alone again. He agonized over the thought of her leaving, he’d become so used to having her around and had come to.....really care about her. Besides she’d never liked him, he’d never given her any reason to. She was like a butterfly learning to fly and reinventing herself. She didn’t need him and never would, this thought made him sad. He didn’t know that he was the one giving her the strength to take this drastic step. On the first day when her pain had set in, he’d begged Nadir to let her do it warm turkey with medication, both he and Ranma had firmly said no and her battle aura had flared bright. Mousse came to admire her courage even more; this was probably the hardest battle she would ever fight in her life.

Reiko arrived....and promptly kicked both boys out so that she could give Ranma a bath. She ran the water pretty hot and both people held their breaths to see if she would change back, Ranma moaned in disappointment when she didn’t. “It’s not a bad thing being a woman” Reiko soothed, picking up the soap and rubbing it into a soft wash cloth.

“It’s much better being a guy. I hate this body, it has blood flowing from it once a month, its weak, its pathetic and it can get pregnant!” she raged.

“There’s female martial artist all over the world and they aren’t weak or pathetic. They still get their periods and pregnancy can be prevented if you know how. If you hate this body so much, make it strong. You said you can still do your martial arts in this form right?” Reiko asked as she soaped her back. Reiko had already figured out that the smaller woman wanted affection but didn’t know how to ask for it, so Reiko soaped her hard-to-reach places with gentle strokes that offered her some comfort. She’d sensed the growing attraction between Mousse and Ranma that neither seemed to be able to admit to. It had grown stronger during the de-toxing when both allowed themselves to be more affectionate to the other. Reiko smiled the first time she’d found them curled up like puppies when they napped together. Reiko had watched them and thought that they looked great together. She’d wonder if Ranma’s dubious sex would allow them to get together. She knew more about sex then she would admit to them and got the impression that Ranma was in many ways sexually naïve despite her former lifestyle, that her sexuality hadn’t had a chance to form yet. Her brother had given Reiko a small amount of information, knowing that his smart as a whip sister had already figured out a thumbnail sketch of Ranma’s life. She was happy to see Mousse falling in love again, but was worried that Ranma’s insistence that she was a guy would never allow her to accept his love.

“Yes, I can. My strength isn’t the same when I’m male, but I get faster” Ranma said, interrupting Reiko’s thought.

“So why not adapt your arts to suit your new body? A girl can be just as deadly as a guy when she knows what she’s doing. Make this invincible. Or are you just a weak little girl?” she teased her.

“Wow you sounded like my father for a second there” Ranma replied. “I think I know what you’re saying. The female martial artists I knew in Nerima were almost scary good”

“So make yourself better then them. Now who do you know who would make a good coach to help get you in shape and has an interesting martial arts form of his own you can learn things from? After all doesn’t Anything Goes means you take different moves and make them your own” Reiko asked, putting the suggestion in her ear.

“Mousse” Ranma breathed, who better to train with?

On the third day the symptoms stopped and Ranma finally sagged in exhaustion. She looked at Mousse with relief in her eyes, he looked equally as exhausted but happy for her. “I’m hungry” she complained. She was surprised when she was hugged by all three people, happy at this development.

“Wait here, I brought something from the diner that I can heat up for when this happened” Mousse said hurrying away. He wiped away grateful tears as he got her feast together and thanked the gods that she’d gotten over the most difficult phase of recover. Ranma was going to be fine he was sure.

Ranma’s mouth dropped open to behold the huge plate of food in front of her, her mouth watered at the smell of thick sliced pickles, onions, cheese and the various other toppings that made up the super duper burgerino with its Coney Island fries on the side. The burgerino had been invented by Suzie’s grandfather and was made up of a long, thick hamburger patty on a submarine bun that was topped with avocado, sour cream, onions, pickles cheese; pretty much everything but the kitchen sink. “But Mousse you don’t even like to having red meat in your kitchen!” she protested with her eyes suspiciously moist.

“I can make an exception, we need to get your weight up” he said, smiling at her and rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment for her gratitude.

Nadir looked at Mousse “I don’t know about this, it might be too much food for her stomach right now....” his eyes widened in surprise to see her plate empty and her mouth covered with food stains. Reiko gaped at her; she hadn’t even seen Ranma’s hands move.....they’d been a blur.

“I was hungry” she stated.

Mousse started laughing and mussed her hair, “that’s my girl” he said, Ranma could only beam while those words echoed through her mind, they delighted her.

Nadir and Reiko excused themselves and left them alone. As Nadir drove them home, Reiko asked “is Ranma going to make it?”

“I think she will, she’s a strong willed person. Mousse’s in love with her” he stated.

Reiko looked at him “yes he is” she confirmed.

“How do you feel about that? I mean you’ve had a crush on him for a long time” he said.

She shrugged “I’m not so naïve that I think anything is ever going to come of it. He thinks about me as a little sister. Besides I have a boyfriend” she said. “I’m glad that you persuaded him to hire a private detective to find Su Lee instead of him going himself. Ranma needed him to be here”

“That’s why I suggested it” he said with a shrug. “Think they’ll ever get together?”

“I think they will” she said confidently, remembering how Ranma had looked at Mousse when he had called her his.

“You know, I like them both and hope you’re right” Nadir said, wanting his new friend Ranma to have the love that Nadir had had to deny himself. He hadn’t been oblivious to their attraction either.

Ranma had taken a bath after she’d eaten, had gotten into comfortable blue striped pajamas and had taken a melatonin to help her sleep. She got into her own bed for the first time in days and sighed at how comfortable it was. Mousse came into her room wearing his own pajamas. “I was just wondering if you need anything, I should have knocked” he said smiling sheepishly.

Ranma took a deep breath and forced out “would you stay with me a while?” she asked.

Mousse blushed, surely she didn’t want sex. He quickly dismissed that idea from his mind. She just wanted someone to be there with her until she slept. She had bad dreams sometimes about her being forced by the bikers, so Mousse could see her wanting someone to keep the night terrors at bay. He sat down on the chair beside her bed, “of course I’ll stay awhile” he said.

Ranma blushed and pulled back the blankets beside her “could you......lie with me?” she stammered.

Mousse blushed to; she wanted him....to be.....in her bed? Then he mentally kicked himself for acting like a jumpy virgin. She’d just been through a horrible ordeal and wanted a warm body beside her to sooth her in the night. “I guess” he said slipping in beside her and turning on his side to face away from her. She turned off the lights and wondered if her face was glowing in the dark.

“Could you....hold me?” she asked hesitantly.

Mousse blushed deeper and turned to spoon her smaller body against his; he tried to tell himself that she was just another guy....with a tiny waist and cute petit figure.

Ranma tried not to sigh to be enveloped like this, she’d slept cuddled up with other guys before for warmth, but it’d never felt like this. She felt safe and cared for as his hand rested on her waist. She drifted off to sleep on a cloud of warmth and pleasant masculine odours, while Mousse stopped his erection from rising against the sweet cleft of her buttocks by envisioning old nuns, dead kittens..........and Kuno in a bikini.

When they woke up hours later they both felt refreshed and highly embarrassed. “I should go for a jog” Mousse said and left. He was surprised when Ranma came down wearing a track outfit and light jacket. “Where are you going?” he asked her.

“I thought I would go with you. Please Mousse, I need to distract myself from the cravings and what better way to do that then getting into shape? I was thinking that you could teach me to dance also” she almost pleaded.

“I never make the waitresses at the diner dance. Suzie’s grandfather taught her how to, Suzie taught me and I taught Reiko because she wanted to learn. Most of the others took lessons and just like to show off. Are you sure you’re ready to start jogging?” he asked her cautiously.

“Sure Reiko even got me a sports bra” she said lifting up her shirt to show mucho cleavage crammed into a skimpy red top, causing Mousse to get a nosebleed.

“Okay, see if you can keep up with me. I do eight miles a day” he challenged.

“Child’s play” Ranma said and started jogging with him. Later on Mousse returned with a winded Ranma in his arms.

“Child’s play huh?” he teased.

“I hate this body” she moaned.

Weeks later it was Ranma who ran circles around him. “Come on you wimp, what are two more miles?” she cried.

“More then I’m used to doing” Mousse panted, dropping onto the floor of the dojo. He watched as Ranma dropped and started doing pushups. He admired her; with her eating regularly and exercise, she’d filled out and got back her teenaged body. The result was more tips at the diner and men watching her when they walked together, Mousse got many looks of envy to be walking with so pretty a girl. Ranma had flourished, totally gone was the pinched look of the drug addict she’d formally been. She glowed with natural beauty and good health. She still fought against the addictions, but treated it with fresh squeezed orange juice. Mousse had bought a commercial juicer and made gallons of it for her every day out of organic oranges; she had that as an addiction now. He smiled to remember her learning the various dances

Flashback

“I look like a retard” Ranma complained, coming of the dressing room in a poofy poodle skirt, a pink sweater, bobby socks and saddle shoes. Reiko had even gather her hair into a ponytail and secured with it with a pink scarf.

“If you want to learn period dances, you need to learn to how move in period clothes. “The weight of these will help you understand how to do it” Reiko said.

“You’re not dressed like this” Ranma complained and actually pouted. Reiko wore purple leggings, turquoise shorts, a yellow shirt and rainbow suspenders. She’s French braided her thick red hair into two plaits and had put red dice baubles at the ends.

“I know the dances. Doesn’t she look cute?” she asked Mousse.

Mousse blushed a bit to find himself admiring Ranma “she looks okay” he said glancing away to disguise his interest.

“You see?” Ranma declared.

“Just try already” Reiko cried, shoving Ranma into Mousse’s arms. They both blushed to her delight. Soon they were laughing at Ranma’s two left feet.

“It’s nice to know that there’s something that Ranma the Great can’t do perfectly” Mousse teased.

“Hey I too busy learning martial arts to worry about this girly stuff” she said with a laugh that was deceptively like a giggle, she felt happy for some reason to be staring into his laughing eyes....before she trod on his foot. “Sorry” she apologized.

“Why don’t we work on the jumps for now? Just leap forward and extend your legs, I’ll hold you up” he said.

With her crinoline flying everywhere, she executed a perfect leap. Mousse found himself marveling at her slight weight and then blushed when he felt himself responding to having an attractive young woman plastered to him. He quickly bent forward and threw her back so that she landed on her feet. He was positive she couldn’t have felt anything through her layers of clothing. “I think that’s enough for today” he said over his should and quickly left.

End Flashback

Ranma sat beside Mousse and looked fondly around the dojo, it was about the same size that the Tendo’s had been, except it was well heated with radiant floors that kept out the cold and air conditioning for the summer. It was practically brand new as Mousse had explained that he had had it built to practice in, his martial arts style needed space; ego why it was almost the size of a commercial dojo. As if reading Ranma mind, Mouse observed “you know this would be a nice dojo to teach in if someone felt inclined to.”

Ranma’s heart leapt “yes, the Saotome School of Anything Goes needs little in the way of equipment. Smaller classes would be better I think” she said calmly back while her heart was racing.

“It wouldn’t take much, some advertising and word of mouth will take you far. Local schools are always happy to have martial artists give demonstrations if the sensei is willing to do it for free. All you would really need is a business license, this areas zoned commercial-residential so it won’t be a problem. Accounting software’s pretty easy to use these days for bookkeeping” Mousse offered. “I could help you get the business license”

“You mean you would let me use your dojo?” Ranma asked in excitement.

“Why not? No one does besides myself or sometimes I let dance kids use it for practice. It’s a shame that it’s going to waste” Mousse said with a shrug.

“But who would want to be taught by a woman?” she asked.

“Once you get your demonstrations on the go, you’ll have no trouble attracting students. Besides lots of girls want to learn martial arts to and who better then from a woman” Mousse pointed out. “Do you want it?” he asked stubbornly.

Ranma couldn’t control her excitement anymore, her own dojo just like she always dreamed of! “Of course I do! I’ll need a sign; I’ll need a drink station for the parents who’ll be waiting. The license! Oh my gods I can’t wait. Thanks Mousse” she said and threw her arms around him and on impulse kissed his cheek. Mousse smiled into her flame bright hair that his suggestion made her so happy, when she leaned back her blue eyes danced with excitement. “I want you to be my first student” she said sincerely.

“Me? but I’m already the master of my arts” he protested.

“See it as being a refresher, you suck at defensive moves” Ranma said with a fond smile.

“I must be insane to try and help a Saotome” he groaned.

“You like me, I grow on everyone” she enthused.

“So does fungus” he quipped.

Ranma just stuck her tongue out at him, too happy to care.

The next few days went by in a happy blur, Mousse helped her apply for the business license and it was received under her school’s name. Then she and Mousse ordered a sign and decided on the official gi that would be worn by her students.

Her head swam with details; she had it all now, a nice home and wonderful dojo. She was on her way to inspect her first batch of fliers. But that caused her to pause; surely Mousse would expect her to move out once she started earning money? The idea made her ache; she couldn’t picture herself living anywhere else but with Mousse. It was like home to her, the first home that she felt comfortable in without someone bossing her around. Yes Mousse got kind of anal about his all organic, no red meat diet but he was a wonderful cook and she had to admit that she did taste the difference in taste when everything was fresh, but she would miss him.....a lot.

Walking in a trance as she had, she never noticed her former drug dealer, Bobby until he was in her face. It was he who had been trying to get into her pants. “Ranma is that you?” he asked her with a leer. He’d thought she was cute as a homeless pregnant prostitute, but now in her Chinese clothes and looking so healthy, she looked positively gorgeous.

“B-bobby?” she stammered.

“Well, well you’re looking good. You got a new john who’s keeping you in style?” he asked. He walked around her enjoying the view; the pants were kind of baggy but failed to conceal long, slim toned legs and a firm high behind. The shirt just tight enough to show off her healthy chest and flat stomach, he could feel himself responding to her new curves. “Would you like a little something?” he purred.

“No I quit and I’m living with a friend,” she said holding her head high and glaring at him.

Bobby laughed “I quit more times then I can remember, once a junkie always a junkie. I’d be a shame for us not to get reacquainted. If you like I can be your friend too, you can take care of me.....and I can take care of you” he said, holding out a bag of H.

Ranma’s mouth watered at even the sight of it, she could smell its earthy smell even through the baggy and sense its euphoric presence. She wanted it so badly, yet every practical reason for not wanting it floated through her brain. That it had cost her her manhood, her life, even the baby that she had come to regret on her road to recovery. She glared up at him and saw in him what she had been before Mousse came back into her life. He was asking her to be his strawberry, sell herself to him in exchange for drugs. She shook her head to clear it, “no, I’m not interested. I’m clean now” she said defiantly to him, to the drugs and to her old self.

“Come on Ranma, don’t be like this. Why don’t I give you a free sample and than you can decide? After all, what are friends for? You know where to find me when you want more” he said and walked away, leaving her holding the baggie. Her mind was in turmoil and she wanted it so badly. ‘What should I do?’ she wondered.