To Be Loved by Darkness

To Be Loved By Darkness
Chapter 5
The Cast:
Sebastian Michaelis: Rhinoa Lunar
Ciel Phantomhive: Jezebel Anne Harris
William T. Spears: Rhinoa Lunar
Grell Sutcliff: Jezebel Anne Harris
Lizzie: Rhinoa Lunar
Undertaker: Jezebel Anne Harris
Lord Frederick: Rhinoa Lunar
Yuki 3: Jezebel Anne Harris
Lady Josephine: Rhinoa Lunar
More are sure to come. We’ll keep you posted.
Also a reminder bo-chan means young master while bouchan is slang for erection.

Chapter Five
Ciel's Broken Trust

Sebastian smiled at Ciel. They were walking the decks of the first class promenade keeping the vision of the earl and his butler on display butto the trained eye the butler seemed a touch too familiar with his employer. Most shrugged it off as a fatherly type of affection since Ciel was not yet a man. Not long into their walk they stumbled upon the young Josephine who was leaning on the railing looking out at the water. She seemed deep in thought and did not turn to greet Ciel as they neared her.
Ciel looked the girl over, she seemed less than content, which was odd for someone embarking on this sort of trip without knowledge of what was to come. It would only do to keep up pretenses of being the young nobleman in search of a future bride, but Ciel was surprised to find he felt guilty for using her to get to Lizzy. Josephine seemed like a good person, he was glad she would get out of this mess okay. “Enjoying the view, my lady.” he said as he stopped Sebastian with a hand and joined her at the railing.
“My lord?” Josephine gave a brief smile and nod to Ciel before returning her attention to the water. “Does it ever trouble you to feel, out of place? Like you'll never belong?”
“Yes...I've felt that way most of my life. But we have to live with such things, to move on. And sometimes I've found that out of place is the best place to be...” Ciel found himself falling into conversation with her easily. It was nice to talk to someone his own age about things like this. Sebastian wouldn't understand.
Josephine let a smile grace her lips. “I doubt you have felt so out of place as I. Though I thank you for your sympathy. I do wish I could have met the one mother speaks of so often. Mother says I often have his look in my eyes. It makes her sad. She tries so hard to make me smile.” Upon close inspection Josephine did bear a slight resemblance to Ciel in facial bone structure and the shape of her eyes. It was to be expected since Ciel and Elizabeth were cousins.
“Do you believe in magic, Josephine? Angels and demons..do you really believe in all of that?” Ciel couldn't help but be curious about her. Such a logical young woman...The intense faith she displayed at diner was bound to be some farce. Or maybe, with eyes such as his, she had seen the truth of the other side as well. Maybe even now she knew she was talking to someone without a soul. “You have such beautiful eyes,” he admitted with a smile.
“Magic exists within God. I do not believe in strange beings shown in the great works of the masters, but I do believe in good and evil. I just don't understand how I could be...” Josephine's eyes watered and she turned away from Ciel. Sebastian could almost be heard twitching behind Ciel as he had nearly revealed too much. Josephine cast her eyes downward in front of her as she composed herself. When she spoke again her face was a stone wall Ciel could relate to. It was the mask he had always worn. “Louis, may I call you Louis? Do you think that one such as I is capable of being truly evil?”
“No. No human is capable of true evil, Josephine. And Angels lie more than demons, trust me on that fact.” He loved how...Troubled she was. She was such a perfect reflection...If he had met her in life he would have surely married her. “Does my butler look evil to you? Many would say he is...He has many secrets the gentry would disapprove of, you know.”
“I doubt his sins can match my own. I will not trouble you. May God be with you.” Josephine made no motion to leave but instead raised her head up again to view Sebastian out of the corner of her eye. She shivered slightly despite the sun shining down on her warming her skin. “He may know evil, but he has fought it with his very core. Of that I am certain.”
Ciel looked momentarily surprised, an odd look for him even since his moods had started acting strangely. Fought with it? Sebastian? “That may be...He's certainly well trained these days...I'm sure you can fight your own evil too, my lady. Or come to terms with it. We all have our demons to overcome...”
“My demon resides in myself, Louis. How can one overcome that which poisons them from the inside? Can I ask a favor of you? You do not seem to be one who will judge.”
“Tell me anything. I will forget it by morning if you like...” Ciel smiled at her charmingly, yet his eyes were dead as they always were he was sure. In a way he figured she would relate to that in him and feel more open to telling him. While he couldn't understand why, he was very interested in what she considered evil.
“My desires are an abomination to God. Mother and father tell me I must find a husband. My desire is to go to University and expand my mind. Perhaps find another like me. Another girl who I can make my, companion...It might be bold, but might I borrow something to wear? I think I might have better luck if I at least appeared as a man to most upon first glance.”
Ciel nearly laughed, but held back. She might have found that to be disrespectful, and he very much respected her in that moment. “You may borrow whatever you like, my lady...” Ciel did allow a bit of a smirk, tilting his head toward Sebastian as he spoke. “If such things are sinful I am as guilty if not more so. My butler is also my lover, you see...We've often been...Intimate...”
Josephine almost looked ready to scream at Ciel for being so insensitive and mocking her over this secret she had shared with him, but then she saw the rose tint to Sebastian's cheeks and knew no lie had been spoken. Instead she turned to Ciel smiling softly and clasped his hand in her own. “I'm so glad. After dinner then I shall excuse myself from the ladies and meet you at your staterooms. No one in the second class should know me. They are mostly merchants and businessmen and their families.” Josephine moved to walk away with what one could almost call a spring in her step, almost. She then turned once more to Ciel. “Louis, thank you so much. I was afraid I would be hurting you somehow due to my misleading of earlier. I had to make mother and father happy.”
“It is no problem, I was afraid of misleading you too, but now we might become close friends I think...” He smiled and waved as she went back to her business, but as soon as Josephine left he could feel Sebastian's eyes boring into his back. He had been much too open about their secrets with a girl he barely knew. Nothing excused that. But when he turned around Sebastian was only looking at him with amusement, his cheeks still a bit red from the blush. It made Ciel want to pull him in for a kiss right here on the promenade. “Well, moving on then, Sebastian?” He asked for reassurance that his butler wasn't angry with him.
Sebastian bowed and smiled slyly. “Yes, my lord.” Together they walked along the deck looking out at the water. Afternoon tea was rather uneventful save the couple a few tables away from Sebastian and Ciel. Grell and William were in full view of them and while the couple made no effort to communicate, Grell made a flamboyant display of affection that was fairly scandalous toward William. After tea Sebastian turned to Ciel smiling and helped him out of his seat. Dutifully he followed the young earl to their staterooms where he collapsed onto Ciel in a powerful kiss that left both of them breathless. “I have been wanting to do that for hours, bouchan.”
Ciel blushed involuntarily at his lover's words. It made him uncomfortably aroused to think Sebastian had been dealing with this bottled up emotion all throughout tea. He had been expecting a slap to the face, but this development was much less painful, and much more pleasant. “Hours...Then you should have...I don't mind the world knowing I'm yours,” he teased, wondering if that was really what had Sebastian all hot and bothered, his little confession to Josephine.
“That you dared confess it to anyone is more than I could ever ask of you.” Sebastian hoisted Ciel up and pressed his legs apart so they would wrap around him. He kissed at Ciel's throat and ran his skilled tongue across the spots he knew Ciel was maddened by. His hands were caressing his lover's ass tenderly but the need was most assuredly there and was confirmed by the hard cock pressing into Ciel through Sebastian's uniform.
Ciel wrapped his legs tightly around Sebastian, not afraid that he would fall in the least, but wanting to be pressed close to the demon's body, loving the feel of his lover's cock hardening against his. He moaned and even allowed a surprised squeak as Sebastian nibbled his tender spots. “Nnh...I-I'm not ashamed of...Us...You once told me...They're only humans...If I could tell them all I would.”
“One day, bouchan, men will be free to love whom they love. On that day, I will be with you and you had better do just that.” Sebastian kissed Ciel hard on the lips and reached down to undo his pants and stroke Ciel's now free erection gently.
Ciel let out a breathy moan, trying not to be too loud just to prove he could make love without screaming. “Count on it.” He bit his lip, meeting the demon's eyes that had begun to glow red. Ciel was hypnotized by that stare...His lover was so beautiful...And touching him so lovingly. His hips squirmed against Sebastian's still clothed erection and his lips found the others' in a wet and sloppy kiss.
Sebastian moaned into his lover's mouth. Ciel was a fast learner and never missed a thing. He knew just how to make Sebastian desire him completely. Sebastian began to undo the buttons on Ciel's vest and shirt. He had removed them completely before laying Ciel onto the bed where he promptly slid down the pants that were still in his way. He threw Ciel's shoes to the floor as well and wrapped his lips around Ciel's cock. He made no teasing ministrations this time. He simply worked his mouth around as he knew Ciel enjoyed it. He then slicked his fingers with saliva never pausing in his actions. He slid one finger inside Ciel while still sucking on him furiously. He knew his lover would soon beg to be fucked, and he craved hearing the need in Ciel's voice.
The boy dug manicured nails into his love's scalp as the demon pleased him. His lover's mouth was a thing to die for, and luckily he had already experienced that for the comparison. As Sebastian licked and suckled him Ciel could feel his entire body tensing. He couldn't think of anything but his expanding need and all of his body tingled. He cried out, forgetting his vow of silence as Sebastian's finger worked its way inside him, immediately finding that sensitive place inside him. “Ohh...Sebastian pleeeaase!”
Sebastian purred over his lover's cock, tongue vibrating within closed lips. He slid another finger into Ciel. “Please what, bouchan?”
Ciel was used to his lover's games by now, but they still frustrated him, and it was apparent in his voice. Of course he was sure that was what Sebastian enjoyed most about making him say such things, the fact that it embarrassed him so. “Please just put your cock in me...I-I want to feel it all.”
Sebastian needed nothing more than to feel his cock squeezed by Ciel's ass and his lover's voice pleaded in the most amazing way. He needed no prompting and began to strip away his own clothing allowing it to fall to the floor before climbing into the bed with Ciel. He nudged Ciel with his cock and kissed his forehead. “Its better if you get it wet, bouchan.” Sebastian enjoyed teasing his lover, but something about Ciel was more confident now. It was all so amazing to observe. Still the need was there. The need to have Sebastian fill him. That is what was driving Sebastian mad with desire. Knowing that Ciel needed him so wantonly and completely was as fulfilling as fucking him.
Ciel spread his legs wider for his lover. He knew how Sebastian got off on his wanton need, and he loved watching the effect he had on the demon. Even when he was the one on bottom he felt so powerful knowing a being such as the demon needed him this much. “It's wet enough, i want it to hurt,” he assured Sebastian. Before his death he would never have guessed he'd enjoy such things, but now he loved pain as much as he loved pleasure.
Sebastian smiled a grin of pure lust at Ciel and bowed. “Yes, my lord.” Sebastian thrust in deep and gave Ciel no time to adjust. Instead he pulled almost completely out only to slam in hard and deep once more. Sebastian pulled Ciel's legs up over his shoulders and continued to slam into his lover. Sebastian knew Ciel was fighting his instincts to yell out in pleasure and that only made him more determined to make his lover scream his name out loud. “Nnnn, Ciel. You feel so good.” Sebastian came down and bit hard on Ciel's left nipple and then licked up the blood that began to flow from the wound. He allowed his right hand to cup Ciel's balls and gave them a soft squeeze before he began to stroke his lover's cock in time with his thrusts.
Ciel was having an increasingly hard time keeping quiet, but he was determined, and when the boy set him mind to something he was not easily swayed. He clenched his teeth and pressed his lips shut tight to muffle the moans and squeals he refused to let out. Bottling in his pain and pleasure did have a noticeable effect for Sebastian, Ciel's muscles clenching tightly around him, giving his already tight ass a perfect vice-like grip on his lover's cock. It made the demon feel even bigger than before. Ciel's fists were white from clenching the sheets and he threw his head back, squeezing his eyes shut as he finally opened his mouth, panting and moaning quietly, a low sound at the back of his throat.
Sebastian knew this game and was not about to play nice. Pulling out of his lover he threw Ciel down onto his hands and knees and entered him from behind. He raked his claws across Ciel's back artfully before reaching around to continue stroking him off. Sebastian made certain to slice him slightly over his cock and with his free hand pulled Ciel's shoulder forcing his back to arch. He leaned down pausing his thrusts to nip and lick Ciel's left ear. “Call out my name, bouchan. Beg for me to fill you to your core.” Sebastian dragged his teeth across Ciel's neck as he righted himself. Not waiting for a response he once more began thrusting with full force.
Ciel couldn't remember ever being fucked from this angle, and the new position felt so much less personal...Yet Sebastian's cock penetrated him deeper than before. The boy ground his teeth, refusing to give in despite the growing need to scream for his lover to take him, beg and plead and moan his pleasure. He whimpered, thrusting his face into a pillow to muffle a moan before being wrenched back. “Nhh...You won't win...Sebastian.” He swallowed hard, his mouth gone dry with his panting. “As much as I do want you to...Fill me.” A particularly hard thrust hit him dead in that tender spot inside and Ciel let out a needy moan before he could stop himself. He pulled away from Sebastian and shoved his face into the pillows again.
Sebastian tore the pillows out from under Ciel and threw them to the floor. “I WILL hear you, bouchan.” Raking his nails once more this time down Ciel's right side, Sebastian thrust deeper. He knew his lover was feeling him deeper inside now than ever before and he WOULD get what he wanted.
The feeling of complete...Fullness that came with such deep penetration was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Ciel knew he couldn't contain his moans for much longer, regardless of how badly he wanted to win. Sebastian's nails cut into his sensitive sides and he let out a quick gasp of pain. Unfortunately for Ciel what he'd thought would be a quick gasp escalated into a wanton scream of passion when Sebastian met his hips in the deepest, hardest thrust yet. The boy's back arched on its own and despite a face red with shame at having failed a challenge, Ciel couldn't help but moan out his love's name in lusty desire.
“That's what I like to hear, bouchan,” Sebastian growled from behind as he drove into Ciel. Seeing Ciel lose control and need him so much brought Sebastian near the edge of his own ecstasy but he would not finish yet. He stroked harder at Ciel's cock, even pulling at it somewhat painfully, demanding that Ciel be ready when he was. Moments felt like hours and Sebastian felt his lover's muscles tense and relax in release. He too came as Ciel's ass tightened around his cock exquisitely. Sebastian nearly collapsed on top of his lover, but managed to pull out and lay him down instead first. Once Ciel had been tended to, Sebastian lay down beside him and reached tenderly for his hand.
Ciel lay back, breathing slowly, basking in the warmth of his orgasm for a few moments more. “I let you win this time, you realize,” he mumbled, not wanting Sebastian to get the wrong idea, though they both knew it was far from the truth. The demon's sexual abilities were beyond par. “What will our neighbors think?”
I doubt they were even in their rooms. Besides, you recall who our neighbors are? If we have not heard young Arthur, I doubt he has heard us. As for the other side, those neighbors are next to what many think are my quarters. So you see, you are quite safe.” Sebastian kissed Ciel's eyelids and brushed some hair away from his face. His former master was beautiful, but something about his look after their intense lovemaking always captured Sebastian's heart. He wanted to see his Ciel like this as often as possible. So completely his.
“You love to hear me scream then?” Ciel breathed a chuckle. “You really are a demon.” Ciel smiled and kissed his lover's hand, licking at Sebastian's fingers just because. “We should make love in your quarters next...And perhaps we could sneak into Arthur's rooms for good measure. Will we be making love while the ship goes down as well?”
Sebastian allowed his face to take its true form for a moment as he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “As always you prove to be more sinful than even I can imagine, bouchan. More talk like that and I'm likely to make you scream for me again right now.” Sebastian ran his fangs along Ciel's throat momentarily before becoming more human again.
“Mmm...Not right now...But maybe tonight.” Ciel ran his thin fingers along the curves of muscle in Sebastian's chest. He wondered if it really was sinful to behave this way. Josephine would think so...His parents would have thought so perhaps...He sighed a bit in confusion, not wanting to think about such things at a time like this but at a loss as to how to stop himself. “Or not...Perhaps we've been doing this too much as of late...” Ciel wondered if it mattered how sinful you were if you had no soul, and he suddenly felt he wanted to talk to someone other than Sebastian. He knew just who he wanted to see. “I'd like to get dressed and go up for tea. And I would like to see your master if he is available.”
“Bo-chan, we just had tea not long ago. The dinner horn will sound soon though. I do believe we are sitting with Arthur though. I shall dress you.” Still nude Sebastian seemed to glide along the floor as he pulled out Ciel's dinner suit. He was to wear a true gentleman's tuxedo. As Sebastian dressed Ciel he looked up and shot him a sly grin. “I am certain we can accompany him to the dining hall at the very least.”
Ciel allowed himself to be dressed apathetically, as it had always been before they were lovers, though he did enjoy the view more now. He looked to the full length mirror as Sebastian buttoned and tucked and straightened him to tuxedo perfection. Despite his fitted man's wardrobe he still felt like a child when he looked in the mirror. And he probably looked silly trying to look older than his years. “Not we, Sebastian. I would like to see him alone. If you believe he is done with his tea then take me to him elsewhere.”
Sebastian froze. He hadn't thought of this. If Ciel said or did anything that might upset Arthur he could try to break the contract. He trusted Ciel, but this was his food. It was already making him nervous that Ciel would see him eat. “Bo-chan, I...” Sebastian lowered his gaze. He couldn't say no. Not because of some stupid contract, but because he truly wanted to give Ciel anything he asked for. “I will dress.” Sebastian rose without meeting Ciel's eyes. He would make no warning. Ciel would use his own judgment and that would have to suffice. Its not as though he'd listen if Sebastian did speak up.
Ciel waited as his lover dressed, wishing it were not frowned upon to have nude butlers in polite society. Sebastian just looked so much better nude. His butler seemed preoccupied, but said nothing about Ciel's strange request, and the boy did nothing to change the precarious status of his visit with the new master. Sebastian dutifully led him out of their rooms and down the short expanse of hallway between the two staterooms. “Please wait outside while I go about my business, Sebastian...Or better yet ready some clothing for Josephine to borrow this evening. I shouldn't be long.” With that Ciel knocked upon the door, determined not to be deterred.
Sebastian bowed but still refused to meet Ciel's eyes before turning and going back to their own rooms. Moments later a disheveled Arthur opened the door to Ciel. “Oh, its you. What is it? I guess I can spare a few minutes seeing as my friend is quite tired. Just make it quick.” Arthur stepped aside allowing Ciel entry. He was wearing only a man's dressing gown and slippers. His hair was pulled back but most of it had come loose of the bindings and hung around his face. He made his way to the sitting room and fell into one of the high back armchairs motioning for Ciel to sit opposite him.
Ciel felt he would normally be offended by the disheveled appearance, but he just couldn't be upset over such things with someone who knew their death was on the horizon. Arthur wasn't so much older than he was after all. He sat opposite him, crossing his legs and picking up a cigar, fingering it and considering giving it a try for old times sake. “It is a shame you will be dead soon...You have such a charming personality,” Ciel mumbled, but he was sure the other could hear. “In between sessions do you ever think about your death, Sir?”
“Meh, the way I see it I should be dead anyway. Its all borrowed time. Besides, its not like I'm the only body they'll be recovering from this boat.” His words sounded tough and his voice never faltered, but something fear-like shone in Arthur's eyes.
“They won't find your body with the ship. Sebastian is ravenously hungry, he will tear you to shreds.” Ciel watched the older boys eyes shift with fear. He wanted to save this boy if he could. As unsavory as Arthur was. “Where are you marked,” *Ciel blurted out. He had no idea why he suddenly cared, but now that he had voiced it he was very interested. His eye patch suddenly felt very heavy on his face.
“I had no idea...I thought he had no use for the flesh. The contract clearly states he will consume my soul. It mentions nothing about...” Again Arthur's tone did not exhibit fear, though his body language was obviously trying to hide it. “My mark?” Arthur stood and turned away from Ciel. He lifted his hair to reveal the contract mark clearly embedded on the back of his neck. He then returned to his seat. “He said the closer to the eye it was the deeper the contract. I didn't want him trying to get away or anything if he got bored. But I wasn't about to let him have my eye either. Can you imagine?”
“Could I?” Ciel smiled sadistically, taking inspiration from his demon lover, as he undid the strings of his eye patch and let it fall into his lap. His mark glowed just a bit as he met the others' eyes. It was lovely watching him tense in a desperate effort to stem his fear. “Sebastian loves to carve flesh. Whether he requires it or not I don't know...But once he's fulfilled the contract he may kill you however he wishes.”
Arthur could not move his body if he tried. He had tensed that much was true, but he was frozen. His face paled. This kid had done what he couldn't do. This kid was supposed to be dead. Here he was though. Lost in his own fear, Arthur remembered being held down and humiliated, branded even before his death. His expression calmed into one of purpose. They WOULD pay. They would never be able to do to another what they had done to him. His side itched suddenly where he had been branded and he brought his hand to the spot. It was the same piece of flesh that Ciel had been branded on. “Even so, those who have wronged me WILL suffer. If that is my price, I suppose I have made my bed and the sun is already setting. I must lie in it soon.”
“Of course they will suffer. Sebastian can always be trusted to uphold his end of the bargain. And I cannot complain, your enemies are mine, they did to me what they did to you.” Ciels eyes moved to Arthur's side, where he knew beneath the older boy's robe that evil symbol had been burnt into the skin. “But I've found in death I care increasingly less. The men who harmed you die but their ideas go on...It will happen again regardless and your torturous death will mean nothing.” Ciel smirked. No wonder Sebastian loved to frighten him, it was so very entertaining to watch the other boy squirm. “Sebastian is my lover...But I know for a fact he despises you.”
“You mean you two...” Arthur looked disgusted. “But you're both men, well sort of. At any rate, that's how come you're still around. He figured he can get off whenever he wants so he let you live or something? If he hates me so much I don't need to worry about that. I could care less what he thinks of me to be honest. He's not human. He's a monster. I expect him to do his job and then I pay him. I do believe you were leaving for dinner soon. I shall be taking my dinner here.” Arthur rose to his feet and looked at Ciel expectantly.
Ciel didn't get up. He still had the ace here. He knew what it was like to lose his soul. “You seem disturbed, that wasn't my intention. But if you are so upset over my sexuality you should know how exactly he extracts souls...” Ciel winked, licking his lips wickedly. “With a kiss as it were.”
“And you sick little bastard are going to watch it. So long as he doesn't expect me to join in your fun in bed, I think I can just try and pretend he's a beautiful woman. I do believe you were leaving now that this conversation is over. And I do warn you not to get in my way. I will order him to remove you from his distraction should you bother me again. And I don't think you'd like that.”
Ciel shrugged, clearly more practiced at manipulation than Arthur. Despite the fact he was quaking inside he didn't give the other the satisfaction of knowing his effect on him. “You cannot do so, and it would only hold for a few days at best. You and I will be with him forever after that, and during that time I assure you I will let him know how to best torture your soul...Perhaps you will join us in bed, how can I know the inner workings of his mind.” Ciel pocketed the cigar and finally stood, his aura imposing despite his stature. “I had only hoped to save you, but you are already unclean, your destiny is no longer of my concern.”
Sebastian was sitting with most of the lights turned off when Ciel came back to him. As instructed a suit had been laid out for Josephine to wear after dinner with a hat to conceal her long hair. Sebastian said nothing and barely looked up. He had not noticed any movement in his target. Though Arthur's mark was not on the eye as Ciel's had been.
When Ciel returned he was frustrated, that much was obvious. He didn't really want to talk to Sebastian, but he had no clue where else he could go to be alone. That was the thing about being soul-bound to your lover he supposed, no privacy. Of course Sebastian was sitting in the dark, it was to be expected that the demon was not happy with him, but he didn't care. Ciel walked right past Sebastian and out onto their promenade. The sea seemed very calming now, though the water was slowly turning black in the evening light. Ciel felt his life was going out of control. He couldn't even explain to himself why he'd gone through the trouble of bothering that unbearable boy on his last days, what satisfaction he thought he would get from it. He wanted to throw something overboard just to see it lost forever, but couldn't think of what to throw. And so he paced the rail in melancholy without any release from the troublesome emotions plaguing him.
Sebastian watched silently as Ciel exited onto the promenade. He didn't want to be angry with his lover. In fact he wanted to prove that allowing him to roam free was a privilege that he could easily revoke, but something tore at him inside. Why would Ciel want to interact with Arthur at all? What could he possibly gain. Sebastian's mind was racing. He came to rest on one thought and went into a rage. Ciel could not possibly hope to reclaim his soul by saving those under contract. Even if he was trying, Sebastian had already devoured it. It was in essence no more, at least not in the conventional sense. Sebastian came to Ciel, eyes glowing red and raw power flowing from his true form. He lunged at Ciel and pinned him to the floor pulling at his clothes. He had other tuxedos he could easily wear to dinner. Ciel would know who he belonged to now. Sebastian let no trace of compassion show, only cruelty as he nipped and bit into Ciel's flesh.
For once Ciel was genuinely afraid of what Sebastian would do to him. He should never have messed with the bond between a demon and its meal, lovers or not. Why had he done that, stupid, stupid thing? He couldn't think. Before he could say a word Sebastian had him stripped, teeth and claws drawing blood indiscriminately, but Ciel was far from in the mood for any of this, pleasure, pain or either of the two. The look in his love's eyes disturbed him. It was as if Sebastian wasn't his lover right now, he was just a demon. “Sebastian get off me!”
Sebastian heard Ciel's plea but scarcely paused before pushing him face down and mounting him with no ceremony or preparation. Sebastian could smell the blood flowing from Ciel's ass as he fucked his lover raw. Ciel's cries of protest and pain seemed to fall on deaf ears. Sebastian pulled back on Ciel's hips to better meet his demanding thrusts. His claws dug into his lover's flesh painfully. Somewhere along the way Ciel had stopped his protests. He had probably accepted that this was going to happen and he needed to try and make it as painless as possible. Either that or Sebastian had really hurt him. Suddenly the thought that Ciel might be in actual pain bothered Sebastian. He tried to push the feeling aside and finish claiming Ciel as his own, but his body had already returned to its' human form. Sebastian did not understand what was happening but he pulled himself away from Ciel. Tears on his face he knelt down to see if his lover really was hurt.
Ciel's own tears flowed freely, but he couldn't muster the energy for a sob. He felt more dead inside than he had in a long time. No matter how hard he protested Sebastian just wouldn't stop..and at the moment he hated Sebastian more than ever before. When the demon leaned in, whispered something, Ciel sat up and slapped him as hard as he could. “Get away from me. It may just be this defective body you gave me, but right now I'm sure I never want you to touch me again.”
Sebastian took the slap and knew somehow he deserved it. He backed away slowly but did not leave. He did remove his own coat and gingerly offer it to Ciel before speaking. “I was afraid, bo-chan. I thought you were trying to salvage what you could of your soul and leave. I was angry and forgot myself. When you stopped fighting me I thought I had hurt you and my mind cleared. I never wanted to really hurt you.” Sebastian lowered his head in shame but the flash of light shining off his tears gave away that he was ashamed. “You mentioned that your body is defective. What has happened to it? I will set it right.”
“We're on a godforsaken ship, Sebastian! Where would I go? I've never been fond of dying,” Ciel yelled, but the sight of Sebastian wracked with worry gave him some form of comfort despite his pain emotional and physical. He pulled the demon's coat tight around himself, hiding his disgusting body beneath the heavy material and wishing he could disappear. “I don't know what's wrong with it...But I feel things I never did before...I do things I have no control over...I hate it. You must have gotten second rate merchandise when you made this deal.”
Sebastian's eyes took on their red glow once more as he stood. “UNDERTAKER” Sebastian quieted himself when he saw Ciel's fragile form shrink back at the sight of his anger once more. He then bowed to Ciel. “I will set it right. I should have known better than to trust a shinigami with something so precious to me. I will speak with him shortly. Would you require anything of me in the next few moments, bo-chan? I should help clean you up.” Sebastian offered his hand unsure of whether Ciel would take it. He knew Ciel was human in most regards, and he had violated their trust in his anger. Humans found things like possession and ownership to mean different things than demons and while Sebastian had done nothing to violate the ethics and principles of his own kind, humans tended to frown upon his earlier behavior. Learning to act somewhat human was not going to be easy in this regard. Ciel knew what he was. Therefore he should know what to expect. Yet, Sebastian's heart begged for him to try and be understanding and considerate to his lover.
Ciel knew Sebastian had been angry with him...And somewhere at the back of his mind he even knew Sebastian had a right to be angry, but he just couldn't bring himself to take that hand. Not yet. For the moment he wasn't even sure he wished to share a bed with Sebastian for the rest of the trip. For the first time ever he turned away Sebastian's offer. “I will clean myself...” Ciel got up on his own, wincing at the pain but trying desperately to hide his weakness. Sebastian had deeply broken his trust, using him like so much rubbish. That might have been the way he treated his other souls, but Ciel had thought they'd made a commitment to be more than that. “Go and see the undertaker if you wish. But know that whatever is wrong with my body will not change what you did. I suppose it counts for nothing but I have yet to decide if I'll forgive you.” He pulled the coat tighter around him, the thought of Sebastian looking at any part of him just now felt unbearably filthy.
Sebastian shuddered in spite of himself as more tears escaped. He stood upright but bowed again. “Anything you wish, bo-chan.” A cloud of black feathers appeared and Sebastian was gone. As the feathers settled to the carpet they spelled out "I am sorry."
The ventilation system was fairly easy to navigate and it was not long before Sebastian found Undertaker alone in his cramped room. Feathers flew out of the vents and the door locked as Sebastian appeared in his true form. Tugging on a gloved hand he smirked evilly at Undertaker. “I do believe we have a problem.”
Undertaker smiled widely and tilted his head, enjoying the demon's true form. It wasn't every day he got to see a full-fledged demon. “A proOoOoblem? It is anything I can help you with?” Anger was radiating off the demon in waves, how intriguing that he hadn't attacked yet. “Is something the matter with your young earl...hmm?”
“Ciel says his body is defective. He thinks and acts in ways that he does not choose to. And I seem to recall him saying he could hear my thoughts once.” Sebastian closed in the gap between himself and Undertaker. His face was barely an inch away from Undertakers now. His eyes were furious. “You wouldn't happen to know anything about these anomalies now, would you?”
Undertaker's expression didn't change, he drooled slightly as often happened when he got excited. He licked his lips in a way very similar to Ciel's earlier behavior and replied sounding stifled. “Your deal with me was for a living body without a soul...Such things don't come so easily you know...Hehe. I provided the body you requested in perfect health just as you specified. You're going to complain about a few extra...perks?”
Sebastian clenched his hands in Undertaker's robes lifting them in a very menacing way. “Why do I feel like you're the one pulling the puppet strings you attached to MY lover?”
Undertaker giggled maniacally for a moment. This was too rich, the demon trying to assert himself like this. There wasn't much he could actually do to Undertaker without a shinigami's scythe, so his anger was just icing on this rather amusing cake he'd been baking. “No strings, I made him perfect to order. I thought you would appreciate his heightened drive...And if I rewrote a few scenes in his future it was all in jest...All in jest.”
“What the hell have you done to him!?!” Sebastian threw Undertaker down. “And why did you not find it necessary to inform me of these perks as you call them. What else can I expect him to do against his will?”
“Now I wouldn't say these things are against his will. His mind works to accept them as his own doing eventually...I merely rewrote the outcome of his actions...” Undertaker sat up again, rubbing at his elbow which had hit the wall rather harshly. “They were my gift to you in a sense...The mind reading bit I had no control over. There's a woman in charge of that department.”
Sebastian seemed to calm down a bit, but he remained in his true form. “Explain yourself. What have you done to his free will. He angered me tonight. And his actions were not of his own. Or is this the payment you had sought?”
“Yeeess...Now you're getting it, butler.” Undertaker was having a great time, Sebastian was so very attractive in his true form to someone who loved death as much as the old shinigami. “Certainly he will suit shinigami purposes occasionally...I asked specifically for /that/ department to give him a better conscience. It isn't so much that he works against his will.” The shinigami got up, ignoring Sebastian's presence in the cramped room for the moment as he looked for his dog biscuit snacks. “But he is heavily influenced sexually...And emotionally. I always thought the earl could use more of a /spark/ didn't you?”
“Are you telling me none of this has been really him? From that very moment?” Sebastian clenched his fists at his side. Every time Ciel had laid with him since this new body. Every tender word. Every vow of love. All of it was a lie? “What use is he to the shinigami at any rate. He has a right to know.”
“He has no soul, he has no rights... living creatures have rights, butler.” Undertaker munched on his favorite treats as he spoke, crunches and swallowing punctuating his words. “His urges and emotions might have nothing to do with the changes at all, he is a blooming boy, young men of that age are normally odd. If you aren't satisfied with what I gave you you'll have to see the technical department, they created the brain itself.”
“You're insufferable, you know that?” In another furry of black feathers Sebastian was gone only to reappear where he had left Ciel. He had returned to his human form and though his face was distraught with aggravation, he calmed it for Ciel. After what had transpired not even an hour ago he wanted no part in anything that might upset his lover.
Ciel had wrapped himself in a long robe, hiding himself away in the room's corner. He hadn't lit any lamps, he seemed to be deep in thought when Sebastian arrived, but when he looked up at his former butler his eyes spoke of sadness and mistrust that would surely destroy Sebastian on the inside. “How was it? What did he have to say? Undertaker...I should have know that character would do something like this...”
"Allow me to put some tea on for you, bo-chan. I fear he left me with more questions than answers.” Sebastian bowed and turned to the menial task of setting the pot to boil. The normally quick process seemed agonizingly slow now, but Sebastian was determined to do something right for his lover. So much had gone wrong. Sebastian brewed the tea and served a cup to Ciel before sitting close to him. “Bo-chan, in exchange for the body it would seem that Undertaker believed it best if you might be of use to the shinigami, and as such he gave you a conscience that was not your own. He also toyed with your emotions and hormone levels. To what extent I do not know. He also rewrote some of your future. I am not sure what since he only answers in the ramblings of a fool. I mentioned before when you said you could hear my thoughts as well. He said that was another department and the woman in charge would need to be addressed. He would not tell me what use the shinigami will have for you.” Sebastian waited for the inevitable slap he would receive for this information. He could not get clear answers to Ciel until he could see this woman. He could not see this woman until he had finished his current contract. Ciel was never a very patient person.
Ciel remained calm, though he did shift away from Sebastian slightly, not wanting the other to get the impression it was okay to touch him just yet. “He changed my hormones?” Ciel had thought as much...He'd never so much as touched himself before his death, and now he was an unimaginable slut for his demon lover. “And a conscience...Did I really never have one before...” Ciel sighed, that would explain his reservations about Aurther's death...The sinking ship... “That's interesting...And you're sure you had nothing to do with that? Do you promise?” He couldn't handle it if Sebastian had influenced his sexual preferences on purpose. Arthur's words still rang through his mind about him being a mere whore to his lover, a thought process that hadn't been aided by Sebastian's actions or this new revelation.
Sebastian allowed his pain to show when Ciel shied away from him. He did not know how long he could bear not holding his lover. He was so sorry, and wanted to make it right once more. Ciel's accusation did not help matters. “Bo-chan, I never wanted them to change you in the slightest. I wanted a body that would be yours and allow you to assume flesh and be with me as my companion. Had I known they would do this...Well, I would have tried to find another way.” Sebastian fell to his knees. “I love you, bo-chan. I loved you the moment I saw you. I don't need anyone to change you. Nor would I want such a thing.” Sebastian's voice had almost remained calm, though the tears gave away how hurt he was over the entire situation.
Ciel frowned, not wanting to hurt Sebastian this way but unsure of how to fix it without hurting himself in the process. He wanted to wrap his arms around Sebastian and comfort him, but something inside him was terrified it would happen again, terrified someone was still playing with his mind behind the scenes. He hugged his knees to his chest, blocking off contact before he gently brushed a few strands of silky black hair from Sebastian's forehead. “Then find a way to change me back...Don't show me your tears...You're the adult here, Sebastian.”
Sebastian slowly reached up to run his fingertips along Ceil's hand. The simple contact reassured him his lover was really there. He had not forsaken him for his weakness. “Bo-chan, once this ship is sunk and we land in New York, I will seek out the woman who tampered with your brain. If I cannot undo what the shinigami have done, I can return with you to the mansion and we will devise a plan to keep you far from them. Forgive me my moment of weakness.” Sebastian met eyes with Ciel. “I am still your knight. No harm shall come to you.”
“I know Sebastian.” Ciel leaned in slowly and gave his lover a gentle kiss on the lips. He pulled away quickly, but he wanted to reassure Sebastian while letting him know he needed some time to get over what had happened between them, not even considering his new doubts regarding Undertaker's so-called improvements.
Sebastian melted and surrendered to Ciel's kiss, moaning softly in the love he knew must be behind it. Hoped must be behind it. It was too real to be a lie, wasn't it? He remained leaning forward even after his lover had pulled away. He lingered a moment wishing Ciel would kiss him again, but knowing it was unlikely. Finally he spoke. “I should see to bringing dinner to you. We have surely missed the dining hall this evening.”
Ciel nodded, knowing it would be impolite to show up so late for dinner in such company. “Alright, and make sure to get extra desserts.” Ciel smiled a bit. He wanted Sebastian to know how hard he was trying to forgive him. It wasn't his choice to be so scarred by the past. He knew Sebastian loved him more than anything, he would try his best to forget this indiscretion. “I love you,” he whispered, sounding small and fragile.
Sebastian slowly reached out his hand to take Ciel's. Kissing only the back of his lover's hand he nodded and smiled. “Yes, my lord.” Sebastian went to his room where the telephone was located so he could order the room service. Sure to pack on some extra pastries and exotic candies, he added something special in a low voice so Ciel would not hear. Sebastian tended to laying out a set of clothes for Ciel for after dinner not sure if his lover would accept his help in dressing, but knowing he would offer it regardless. When the doorbell chimed Sebastian answered it and tipped the bellhop. Sebastian scrawled something on a small piece of card and brought the tray to Ciel. Centered in the tray was a vase with a dozen white roses. The meal consisted of four desserts. A raspberry tart, creme brulee, a sweet meat pie, and a small chocolate cake. Earl gray tea was of course poured and ready. When Ciel read the card it simply said, "I love you."
Ciel smiled, reading the card. Sebastian clearly felt sorry for what had happened, or really really wanted to finish, seeing as he'd stopped too soon. Ciel shifted a bit in his seat to make room for his meal of sweets. His ass was still sore from the rough entry and it had bled for a bit, but he didn't know how to ask Sebastian what to do for the bleeding. His body was obviously too small to take such large things without preparation. The sweets would make him feel much better. Ciel began on his raspberry tart and nearly moaned in delight, looking adorably childlike as he indulged his addiction. “This is wonderful, you should compliment the staff when you get the chance. Tomorrow will we dine with the others? What time will Josephine be arriving?”
“They should be enjoying the second course about now, bo-chan. Then it will be the main course followed by dessert and the usual banter before the men leave the women for the smoking room. I suspect an hour or so at least before she arrives. I will compose a letter to the staff immediately.” Sebastian turned to go to the desk in the sitting room and write the complimentary letter. He was unsure how to act around Ciel now. It seemed every move he made was suspect to fear and questioning from his lover. He would fall back into the butler Ciel knew so well in the hopes that it eased his mind.
Ciel didn't want Sebastian to go. As frightened as he was by the demon's tempers he didn't want to be alone, he had always hated that most of all. Ciel was always prepared to give anything not to be alone and in pain. He quickly finished his tart. “Sebastian!” He paused, ashamed of what he wanted to ask, especially considering it was Sebastian who had hurt him. “Stay...My...It still hurts badly...Could it be internal? Am I going to bleed to death?”
Sebastian was concerned but smiled softly. “May I take a look? I know I can heal you, bo-chan. But you remember how I do that? My apologies for lack of a better method.”
Ciel couldn't help but blush furiously at the thought. Sebastian had always healed his wounds by licking at them until they closed...While he'd thought such a thing might be pleasant during sex it wasn't...It seemed somehow dirtier in this context. “That is all you will do down there? I don't want to do anything else, alright?”
“You have my word. I will not come to you until you are ready in that regard, Ciel.” Sebastian knew using his lover's name usually made his points clearer and so he stressed that. Slowly he reached out and tugged at the fabric of Ciel's robe until he could see the injured area. Leaning in he could see and smell where the blood was coming from. It only took a moment to position himself properly and he allowed his tongue to enter Ciel's opening just enough to reach that spot and give it a good lick. The wound began to heal instantly of course and Sebastian sat up and began to recover Ciel. He could not meet his lover's eyes.
Ciel bit at his lips in an attempt to quiet himself as he felt Sebastian's tongue enter him. It was one of the strangest sensations he'd ever felt, but not entirely unpleasant, and in moments he felt he was healed. Sebastian looked more ashamed than he did. Ciel wondered about it, but didn't know what he could do to fix things at the moment. “Sebastian, thank you...” His cheeks were still cherry red. He took a spoonful of creme brulee and suddenly put it in his love's mouth. The demon;s look of surprise was rather attractive, he had never before seen Sebastian eat anything really. “That should help, don't you think?”
Sebastian smiled and ate the treat not fully understanding Ciel's sudden interest in his own happiness, but appreciating it nonetheless. “Yes, bo-chan. Thank you.” Sebastian reached out one hand as though he were to hug Ciel, but shrank it back again. He longed to hold his lover in his arms just to know things would be alright, but knew that would take time.
“You may touch me Sebastian. Because you're all I have in this world...I will trust you with that at least...But please don't break my trust again, or I swear to do everything in my power to leave you.” Ciel wanted things to be fine, he wanted Sebastian to be his lover forever, but there were things that had to change, demon or not, if that was to happen. If Sebastian truly wanted them to be more than demon and prey he would have to learn that Ciel would never be satisfied to be treated like property.
Sebastian smiled a genuine smile of joy. It felt to him like Ciel had given him the world. He leaned in and hugged Ciel tightly in a loving embrace. He dared to kiss his lover's cheek. It was quite chaste, but it was all he dared.
“When my mind is back to normal..we can make love and know it's real...Okay?” Ciel wanted Sebastian to hold him...Wanted to be with him, but more than his earlier betrayal he was now afraid he didn't really want any of it. How could he be sure if he was technically out of his right mind. “Can you wait for me until then, my love?”
“Anything. I just wanted to hold you. Nothing more.” Sebastian tightened his arms about Ciel not wanting to let go, but not tight enough to hurt him. “I just need this to be real. I love you, Ciel.”
***
(A/N: It may be a bit extreme I know, but remember Sebastian is a demon and does not think or act as a human normally would. He can play the part better than most, that much is true, but he is no longer required to show restraint toward Ciel by means of the contract. When he violated Ciel, he really broke no code of his own honor in any way. On some level Ciel understands this and the two will need to find a way to balance out their very different natures in order to be a true couple. Sebastian will go through a learning process and find more human emotions within himself that normally he merely manipulates in his food. Ciel will bring these out in him and Sebastian will eventually find a balance so he can remain the cruel demon he is while still being loving and doting to Ciel. He really is sorry for breaking Ciel's trust in him this way, but still does not see he did actual wrong other than cause pain to the one he loves. That will take time.)