Mixed Signals

~*~~*~~Chapter Five~~*~~*~~*~

After a while, they cleaned themselves up and dressed, and Celica walked Accela home, then bid her goodnight. Neither of them expressed a desire to spend any more time together that evening; it seemed they both silently agreed that a limit had been reached. Time apart to evaluate was probably wise.

The next day they spoke very little at work, but it was always polite and professional, never unkind, hardly even uncomfortable. Simply two people feeling out the changes in an old relationship. They had a good laugh when Integra had a particle of food on her face that she was unaware of, and both cursed the director with equal hatred when he asked them to overhaul the computer systems in the mobile response unit. Sylvia, of course, sided with the director (because she hoped if she built up enough brownie points with him that he'd eventually see her as more than an employee), and Integra was still mad at them for sharing a guffaw at her expense, so the two ended up tackling this menacing task alone. This might not have been for the best.

"So I guess we'll start on the basic OS," Celica was saying, glancing at the clipboard they had been given. "From there up, maybe we can determine any security holes, and on to the specific programs. There did seem to be a glitch in MMPH!"

The kiss was fleeting, and more of a peck than a sloppy one. As soon as she pulled away, Accela giggled.

"What in the-" As an automatic reaction, Celica swiped at her mouth with one sleeve. "What was THAT supposed to be?"

"I dunno," she said shyly, biting her lip between sentences. "Just... curious."

"Yeah, that's what I'd call it; bi-curious."

"No, no. I mean... well, if we were... y'know, like THAT. I was curious how it would feel to exchange the 'Honey, I'm home' kind of kiss."

Celica nodded warily. "Uhh, yyyeah. Listen, let's not surprise me with these kind of experiments anymore, okay?"

"But..." And only now did Accela seemed alarmed by her action - before, she had only seemed slightly embarrassed, but mostly puckish. Was that a positive step, or not? "But you wanted... I thought this was what you wanted. Y'know, for me to keep an open mind, and try things out to see if they work."

"Not while we're AT work! Geez, what if the director walks in and finds us 'necking' or whatever in official police equipment?!"

Accela's nose crinkled as she winked at her friend. "Doesn't that make it more exciting?"

Now that she mentioned it, Celica found she did feel excited. A thrill of danger was intermingling with the joys of experimentation. "Um, I, uh... okay, look." Finally, she bit down on those feelings and focused herself on the task at hand. "No more of that stuff, got it? You're not wrong, but I still don't wanna lose my job."

"What happened to 'there's no such thing as enough slacking', eh?" And just like that, Accela was crawling onto her, arms snaking up her chest, nose buried in the skin of her cheek...

"WHOA!" she cried out as the clipboard clattered to the floor, forgotten. "What... what is this? You going to start flipping this lightswitch, turning it on and off at will - turning ME on and off? You're acting like - AAAAH, cut that out! You're acting like a lovestruck teenager!"

"Don't complicate it with those kinds of words," Accela was moaning in her ear. "I've just... I've never been with a woman before. I've barely been with any men, and I can't say I enjoyed that a whole lot. So... so I guess I'm wondering..."

"What?"

Now Accela drew back, her playacting at being a seductress falling apart as her eyes welled with tears. "Promise not to hate me?"

"Couldn't happen," Celica said assuredly. "Now spill the beans."

"What if I am?" she said quietly, shaking like a leaf. "Like you, I mean. It's all I could think last night; I tried to approach it more rationally, but I kept coming back to that."

"To what? To whether or not you were? I thought that was the QUESTION, not part of the answer."

"No, it's-" Very abruptly, Accela was on her feet and at the opposite end of the vehicle's interior. "You've had lots of relationships. And before you say it, NO, I'm not calling you a slut, I'm just saying... you're a lot more open about that kind of thing. I'm a homebody, mostly, so I never date. The few dates I've had were awful, and the once or twice they progressed into the bedroom..."

"I remember," Celica sighed, a pang of empathy welling up. "You said they were disasters, and that you didn't have any fun. So tell me, now that we're trying to be so upfront about stuff. Is that the truth?"

"Yes," she said with a nod. "But what I didn't say before was... well, I may have given off the impression that I just didn't like sex, and that was true then. Because I didn't like it. Except now..."

"Now?"

Accela turned slightly, her cheeks beet red, and shrugged. "Now... I'm beginning to wonder if..." Then she blurted the rest in such a rush that it took Celica a moment to disentangle the words: "Ididn'tlikeitbecausetheyweremen!"

"You... didn't... oh God," she breathed. "You mean that? 'Cause I don't want you saying it for my benefit, to make me feel less weird, so tell me now, be real. You don't like getting it on with guys?"

"That's definitely what I mean," she assured her friend. "This is how I felt back then, too - but I told myself I was being absurd and closed the book on it. You know how you rationalize things when you're not ready to confront them head-on. Now, after being with you in the shower... I think I have to open that book again."

Celica stood and walked over to Accela, ignoring the way she flinched and began to tremble. "Hey. It's okay. I'll be glad to bang you silly."

"WHAT?!"

"Kidding," she cackled. "Trying to lighten the mood, here!"

Accela punched her in the shoulder, which didn't stop her laughing. Then she sighed and said, "But I guess, even though you were kidding, that's what I was winding up to."

"Huh?"

"I'd be willing... to try a few things," she said in such a low voice that it was a struggle to catch it. "Please, don't go overboard and start assuming we're 'together', or that we'll be using all kinds of t-toys, or anything crazy. I'm so afraid, but... will you..."

"Will I what?" she said kindly, one hand on Accela's shoulder. "Go on, it's only me."

After a quick swallow, she whispered, "Will you take a few baby steps with me?"

"Sure, definitely." Celica caught the tremors in her voice - since she was scared out of her mind of what might come of these "baby steps" - so she coughed and tried to sound more reassuring. "Listen, this doesn't have to be so scary. I've heard about stuff like this before; we can set some ground rules before we even get into it, so nobody goes too far and the other person isn't thrown into something they're not ready for."

"That sounds great," Accela sighed with some - if not complete - relief. "Because I can tell you, that is exactly where I am: not ready. Not for any of this, not really, but at the very least I'm ready to get off the sidelines and into the game, I think. After yesterday."

"Thanks again for that," Celica moaned in her ear, and she shivered. "I can't tell you how much it meant to me." Another shiver when her ear was kissed. "Um, sorry if this is too much too soon."

"No," she said in a shaky voice. "That was... fine. It made me feel..."

"Do you want me to... be the boy?" Celica asked nervously, wrapping her arms around her friend's waist. "To take control for you, like in the traditional gender role? I could probably handle that, if you want."

"No!" she protested, shoving her hands away. When Celica gaped in shock, she smiled remorsefully. "I mean... I think that's what puts me off in the first place, partly. The macho attitude. Coming from you, it maybe wouldn't be quite as annoying, but even so... can we just be us? The way we already are?"

"Dude, of course," Celica half-sobbed. That had actually been really touching for her, and once her heart stopped doing backflips she planted a very tender kiss on her forehead. "I like the way you already are, too."

"What are you two doing?"

Both girls nearly had simultaneous heart attacks as they broke apart, eyes roving frantically, but they calmed a bit when they saw the communication light on a nearby console lit up. The speaker crackled to life again as it barked out, "Hello? Integra to Celica, Integra to Accela - somebody answer!"

"Sorry," Accela said, her voice remarkably professional despite the conversation they'd just been having. "What seems to be the problem?"

"No report yet?" their superior demanded. "Are you guys making out in there or what?"

"Why would we be doing that?" Celica couldn't prevent herself from bursting out. "I mean, uh, while we're on the clock, anyway. You know we typically save our making out for after."

"Ha, ha," Integra said, fooled into thinking it was a joke. "Very funny. Just get cracking or I'll make you stay late to finish."

"Roger, sir," Accela said, then switched the mic off. "GEEZ."

"Yeah, holy CRAP did that take away six of my nine lives!"

Accela smiled at her. "Guess we'd better get back to work."

"Guess so." But her mouth surged forward and connected to Accela's, and they lost themselves for a few seconds before they broke apart, chests heaving and requiring the support of the console to keep from crumpling to the floor.

"Wow," Accela breathed. "That was... intense."

"Any thoughts?" Celica laughed. "To be kinda blunt, I know enough by now to be able to tell it floats my boat already, but I wanna know how you feel."

"Good!" After a few more seconds, she slumped into a chair. "I... it's terrifying, and I feel so dirty, and wrong... but at the same time, not as wrong as when I was on other dates."

"You mean, with guys," she needled.

"I mean with people who weren't you," Accela amended shyly as she mostly turned her attention to what they were supposed to be doing in there, picking up the clipboard and glancing down at it... but she paused to turn back to her friend and complete her thought. "Celica, you can't assume that I'm turning into a big lesbo. Maybe it's not that, maybe it's... you're the only human being I can stand to allow this close to me, male or otherwise. And I'm pretty sure that's it, just so you know."

That was perhaps almost as big a turn-on as when Accela had told her she loved her. Instantly, Celica felt parts of her body heating up, felt her pulse pounding behind her temples. Much as no one had ever expressed that they loved her beyond a simple friendship or a one-night stand, she'd also never been informed that she - and ONLY she - had the capacity to bring joy to an individual. That was more importance than she was used to shouldering. Did she mean it? Of course she did; Accela didn't lie, she didn't know how. It was the first moment Celica earnestly and wholeheartedly wanted to be one with her best friend; not to experiment, not to dip their feet into uncharted waters to see what it was like, but to cast aside every last reservation and unite forevermore.

This was the moment she realized she was in love with Accela Warrick.

~*~ To Be Continued