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Fallen Embers	By : FlayraDowitcher Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1799 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
***Warnings: Language, minor violence

***Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. I am making no money off of this fic.

Chapter 5

Ivan left the shadow body where it was and proceeded back to the building. He hoped that Alfred would never have to see him kill something like that. Ivan wanted there always to be a smile on that beautiful face, and never one of fear, hate, or anger. He would take on all the suffering and pain himself, just so his Light would not have to experience it. The thought brought a smile to his face and he hummed while gliding along the snow. Distracted by his thoughts of Alfred, Ivan missed the ground opening beneath him. The moment he noticed it, a stream of chains shot out from the darkness and wrapped around him. Ivan struggled and tugged in the binds, but he was powerless against the god's chains. The chains were burning his body as he was drug down into the earth.

'NO!' He cried out. 'My Alfred! Let me go! I must be with my angel! My Alfred!' Ivan turned his head to look up at the night sky slowly growing further and further away. 'NO! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!' Why was this happening to him? What did he do wrong? Why was the God of Winter angry with him? He had just found his Light, and now he was being taken away in chains. He hissed when his back hit the cold floor and the chains disappeared. In their place came the familiar iron shackles around his wrists, ankles, and neck. He looked upon them with blood-tinted vision, trying to blink away the drops of red.

There was a burst of icy wind that signaled the arrival of the God of Winter. Ivan turned to the large gray god and whispered, 'Why?' The bloody tears continued to drip.

'You must also spend time with me.' Dull yellow eyes gazed down at him. 'You gave yourself to me; body, heart, and soul. I own you.'

Ivan pleaded with him. 'My Lord of All…please, I beg you! Let me go back to Alfred! I have been in this cold world with you since that dreadful day! I need my Light!'

'And you still need to remain with me.' The god made Ivan's heart appear in his palm. 'Remember, I still own this. Your 'Alfred' does not.'

Ivan slumped in his chains, feeling completely hopeless in the presence of this god who owned him. Regardless, he had to ask: 'When can I see him again? I must protect him.'

'In the evenings you may stay with him, but only if he comes to your statue. If he does not, then you are to remain here until he calls on you. Do not forget that I am giving you this privilege, human.'

Ivan gave a crooked grin and narrowed his bloody eyes. 'I've long since forgotten myself as a 'human'. I don't know what I am…but a human I am not.'

The God of Winter turned away. 'Continue to kill the old angels for me. I will want a very large throne.' With that, the god left and Ivan sat in the cold.

'My Alfred…' He looked up to where the world was, but saw only an empty blackness. 'Please don't think I abandoned you. I would never! Come back to me…come back to me tonight.' He lay on his belly with his head to the side, doing nothing more but staring into emptiness. Already his body was freezing cold without Alfred by his side to keep him warm. 'Please come back to me tonight…don't leave me in the cold.'

And so he waited.

/

The steady sound of the alarm jerked him away, and Alfred slammed his fist down atop the snooze button. He was still dead tired and would not expose his head to the world outside his sheet cocoon. Maybe he should try and call out for being sick and just take the rest of the day to nap. However, he suddenly remembered WHY he was so tired. "IVAN?" Sitting up, he searched the room for the ghost. "Ivan? Ivan, are you here? IVAN!" There was nothing. "Where did he go?"

He got up from the bed and quietly searched the room, looking in every spot where a ghost could hide. Once he had searched the whole room, his brows furrowed in sadness at his missing friend. Ivan had promised him that he would be here when he woke up. Ivan was the only person (or ghost) that he connected with at the base. Even though he was unsure of their past, Alfred trusted Ivan when the ghost said they had one. But Ivan was not here with him…so did he dream the whole thing? That was the only logical answer for Ivan's absence. "Just another dream…" he felt too depressed to go down to breakfast, so instead, he simply went back to bed. "I wonder if 'depression' counts as a sickness?" It was worth a try.

Alfred got out of bed again and used the room phone to dial the base hospital wing. Of course, when he spoke of his sickness, the doctor told him to return to duty. He frowned and hung up the phone, turning to look out the window. 'Ivan.' He went over to the glass and peered out. 'Were you ever really here?' Sighing, Alfred dressed into his uniform and went down to breakfast regardless of the lack of appetite.

His solemn mood and depression had caught the attention of some soldiers across the way. Alfred just rests his cheek in his palm and played around with the food. The soldiers walked over to the empty table where he sat and joined him. The three men tried to get his attention by saying his name, snapping their fingers, or kicking his boots beneath the table. Alfred never responded, blue eyes staring at the mush of breakfast food. One soldier spoke first.

"Hey Jones, you okay bro'?" Alfred did not answer. "You sick?" Still no answer.

"You gotta try these sausages this morning, Jones! They're great!" Tried another. Still, Alfred did not respond.

"Hey dude, what's eatin' ya?" Asked the third, poking Alfred's arm. "Where'd the loud-mouth Jones go?"

"He's completely zoned out, guys." Says the first. "This is rare."

Alfred never heard them, too lost in thought about last night. He kept wondering if Ivan was real. The night sure seemed very real, although he had dreams like that when he was younger. Alfred could sometimes smell the climate in his dreams, such as the sea or the farm. Sometimes, he would even have full conversations with people as if he knew them. Maybe he really did at one point in his life. What he found odd was how Ivan seemed to know all this about him and confirmed his dreams were past lives. But was that image of Ivan just his subconscious giving him the answers he so longed for? Was it just a mix of his mind, personality, and sexuality all jumbled together into Ivan? What was it? What did it all mean?

"I just want Ivan back." He spoke out loud to himself.

"Who's Ivan?" Asked one of the soldiers.

Alfred jerked his head up in surprise, looking at the three men all staring at him with curiosity. "D-Did I say 'Ivan'?" Alfred chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, who's Ivan, bro?" Asked the second.

"He's…uh…he's a…a character in my video game! Yeah! I lost him in my party last night and it REALLY bothered me! He was like, my STRONGEST guy! Ah, but you guys don't care about video games!" He laughed nervously. "I'm just a massive gaming nerd! HA HA HA!" He boasted and laughed proudly.

"You're full of shit, Jones!" Laughed the first. "You were gone late last night! I bet 'Ivan' was some Russian tail you got in the city, right?" The three all laughed manically.

"No! No, no, no! That's not it at all! I'm not gay!"

"Who said it was a guy?" Said the second, which made them all laugh even harder. "Maybe we were thinking it's a girl! You said it was a guy!"

Alfred growled. "Ivan is a boy's name! He's a video game character! You guys are dicks!" He rushed off out of the cafeteria and to the game room for some alone time. At this time in the morning, hardly anyone would be in the room playing, so he could be alone. All the men here were simple-minded punks with dog tags and big egos. No one understood him like Ivan did…if Ivan was even real.

'I'm not some ancient angel with powers!' He said to himself upon entering the game room. 'I'm not a superhero or a magician. I'm just Alfred F. Jones…the average human.' That realization and thought made him depressed all over again. He flopped onto the game couch and mumbled. 'I want to go back to being little…when it all seemed to make sense with no logical answers.' That made him smile. 'I want to go back to when everything was easy and magical.' Alfred even wanted to go back home with his family. He wanted to leave the army, go back to America, find a job, and pay his fathers rent for living at home. The one thing he did not want to do was go to college. 'Some retreat this turned out to be.' He said bitterly. 'I'm worse off here than at a school desk with a math book in my face.'

The room was quiet until the sound of heavy boots echoed off the walls as someone came in. Alfred didn't have the energy nor did he care to see who it was. But when the man spoke, Alfred knew just who it was. "So this is where you ran off to, Jones." Said Sergeant Derrick. "You should be heading to the shooting range about now."

"I might just shoot someone if I do. I'm too brain dead today, Sergeant. Can I go back to my room?"

"So you can brood and cry like a girl who just lost her prom date? Hell no! Get up soldier! Do your duty!" Alfred sighed in annoyance and sat up on the couch, brushing back his hair. "What? No snappy comebacks?" He said with sarcasm.

"Not in the mood." Alfred answered flatly.

"Wow, then maybe there IS something really wrong with you." Sergeant Derrick sat next to him on the couch and placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's going on, Jones? Are the other guys picking on you too much?"

Alfred grumbled. "That's not the issue. I don't care what those guys say anyway. And…it's really my own issues, no one else's. I can't explain them, so don't bother trying to help me. Many have tried, but all stunk at it."

"Come now, I'm much older than you and have seen my fair share of life's problems. I was your age once, believe it or not. Come on, you can tell me." He slid his arm behind Alfred. "I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

Alfred just stared at the floor.

"You can open up to me, I promise." The sergeant's voice became softer, and his free hand moved to rest on Alfred's thigh.

Alfred started to catch on right then, and shoved the man's hand away. "No thanks. I can handle this on my own." When he tried to get up, the sergeant pulled him back down. "Hey! Let me go!"

"I just want to talk! Stay still, Jones!"

"Hell no! Get off of me! I said 'no'!"

"JONES-!"

"NO!"

"Hey! What's going on?" Came another voice from the door. Alfred and Sergeant Derrick turned to see one of the soldiers from earlier who were teasing Alfred. "What are you two doing?" The man looked legitimately concerned.

"Nothing," said Sergeant Derrick as he stood. "Just making sure Jones was doing all right." Alfred glared at him as the sergeant left, and the other soldier came in.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Alfred gave a tiny smile.

"Does…that happen a lot with him?" The man asked.

Alfred shrugged his shoulders. "To tell you the truth, I can't be bothered, really. No matter what I say, he'll win in the end. I'm just a soldier. He's a sergeant."

"Still…he shouldn't be doing that to you." Alfred stood up and went over to the man.

"Don't say anything, okay? Just…PLEASE. Don't say anything! Okay?"

He put his hands up. "My lips are sealed."

"Thanks." Alfred patted his shoulder. "I'd best be getting to the shooting range. Duty calls. Oh…and thanks again for…popping up when you did."

"Yeah. Peace out, bro."

"Peace."

/

Once the day was done, Alfred skipped out on dinner and dressed into his winter clothes. He was going out to the cemetery to see Ivan before the sun set completely. Whether or not the statue was real, Alfred felt the strong need to go back. Dressed and ready, he began the snowy walk to the cemetery. Sure enough, upon arrival, stood the statue of Ivan. Alfred smiled and rushed up to it, feeling the warmth when he touched the base. "Ivan…I dreamt about you." He smiled up at the statue. "I wish you were real…are you? I don't know anymore."

Alfred climbed up onto the statue and wrapped his arms around Ivan's shoulders. He stared into the stone face and blank eyes looking away from him. Alfred remembered the sweet words and stories Ivan had for him last night. He said they were lovers, and that Ivan loved him more than anything. Ivan sacrificed his life, soul, and freedom to be together. Why would he make that up in his mind if Ivan weren't real? That didn't even sound like him. Somehow, when with this statue, nothing ever seems to bother him. The statue makes him feel safe and at ease. "Ivan." Alfred tilted his head to the side and gave the statues' lips a chaste kiss.

The ground beneath him rumbled again, just like last night. This time, Alfred looked behind him, but didn't see a shadow monster. However, the force of the earthquake knocked him off of the statue and back onto the snow. Alfred nearly lost his balance when the ground split open under his feet. He yelped and jumped out of the way, stumbling onto his rump in the snow. From the crack in the earth came a ghostly hand, its fingers digging into the snow as it pulled itself up. Alfred stared in wide-eyed belief as the form crawled out from the earth on its belly.

"AHHHHHHH! ZOMBIEEEEEEEE!" He ran to hide behind the statue. Trembling, he peeked around the stone and watched the form completely crawl out from the earth. There appeared to be chains dragging along the snow, making a sound as they clinked together. He watched in awe as the chains melted away and the form stood up. When he finally recognized the ghostly form, he jumped out from behind the statue. "IVAN!"

'Alfred!' Ivan smiled brightly as Alfred came running to him. 'You're okay!'

"Yeah, I'm fine! But where did you go? Why did you leave?"

Ivan looked away sadly. 'I…well…I have to return to the underworld when it is morning from now on. Like a magic spell.' He feared to tell Alfred too much of what went on in the world below. There was the fear of the God of Winter becoming angry with him for letting too much be known. Also, Ivan did not want to scare his beloved.

"Oh, okay. I thought you were a dream…and I got really depressed." Alfred smiled. "But I'm glad you're real and you're here with me! That's great!"

'You enjoy my company, Alfred?'

"I do. I mean, I still don't fully understand everything that is going on…but I do like when you are around. I really missed you today."

Ivan closed his eyes. 'Alfred…such simple words from you bring me great joy.'

"Then let's go back to my room and we can talk more."

/

Back in the room, Alfred had turned the heat up higher having caught a slight chill from the cold. Ever since meeting Ivan, he rarely ventured out into the frozen wasteland. He liked when it was warm and sunny out. Apparently, so did Ivan. The ghost couldn't feel the warmth of the room, but he had stated how much he adored the heat of the sun. Alfred went to his care package and pulled out a candy bar before sitting on the bed. Ivan floated in front of him, just gazing at him. "So, can I ask you a few things?"

'Yes, of course.'

"What exactly WAS that shadow thing from yesterday? The thing that tried to kill me?"

'Well, that would be an old forgotten Sun Angel.'

"Forgotten? Why?"

'Hmm…I'm not really sure. But, if I were to guess, I would say it's because of the belief in them becoming non-existent. When the people of faith forget over time, the old gods and angels disappear, or turn into monsters.'

"And…you don't know why they are after me? Or why they…don't want us together?"

'I don't know, Alfred. But I swore a vow to myself that I would kill each and every one of the angels whom try to harm you.'

"Hmm…" he took a bite of his candy bar. "What kind of angel was I?"

'A beautiful one.' Ivan responded immediately. 'Everyone loved and adored you. I believe you were the favorite among all the other angels to that bastard, the Sun God.'

"The Sun God? Who is he?"

'The god that killed you right before my eyes.'

"Oh…I see. So…he was the one who cursed me as well? To keep me being reborn like this?"

'Yes.' Ivan floated closer to him. 'He makes you suffer in each life you are born in to…all because you chose to love me.' Ivan hung his head. 'Sometimes…when I think about it, I hate how you were killed just because you loved me. If we had never met, then you would still be alive and living in the heavens without this curse. I wish you would have let me die in that spot on the snow…yet you healed me.' He looked at Alfred. 'You brought me back to life and loved me…then had to die because of it.' How he wished he could touch Alfred, but he let his hand stroke the other's cheek as best he could. 'They were already monsters if they could kill someone as precious as you.'

"Well…I'm safe where I am right now at this place. But if I'm shipped off to fight…I could very well die again."

'Then I will be by your side should you go off to fight.' Ivan promised him.

"Yeah well, let's hope it doesn't get to that point." He chuckled nervously. "Oh…another thing I wanted to ask. Those chains I saw you with. Do they hurt? Who holds you prisoner? Is there any way I can stop them from hurting you?"

Ivan was pleased with Alfred's offer to help him, but he still feared the wrath of the God of Winter. 'I'm…afraid I can't say. He is just a very old god and I am bound to him. I don't know how to escape, or what would happen if I did.'

Alfred finished the candy bar and stood up to put it in the trash. He still felt a little cold despite the warmth of the room. "Well, we'll think of something together. I need to change so…could you…turn around?"

Ivan cocked his head to the side. 'Why?'

Alfred flushed. "I don't want you to see me getting dressed!" He frowned at Ivan's grin. "I don't care how old of lovers we are! You still can't see my great body until I say so!"

'Yes, my angel.' Ivan turned around as told, hearing Alfred shuffling out of his clothes. He couldn't resist the urge to peek at his lover, aching to see that beautiful body once again. Slowly, he peeked over his shoulder just in time to see Alfred taking off his pants. Ivan felt the lust building up inside of him but there was nowhere for it to go. It was like a slow torture to his nerves. The little whimper that escaped his lips made Alfred's head jerk towards him. 'Eep!' Ivan averted his eyes quickly.

"You were peeking at me! Jerk! Peeping Tom! I said no looking!" The sudden shout gave him a slight headache and he rubbed his forehead. "Oh man…I hope I'm not getting sick. I'm the biggest baby when it comes to the flu and colds!" He tied his sweatpants and slipped on his army sweater, giving a shudder with a chill. "I need to get into bed."

'Alfred, my beloved, are you ill?' Ivan went over to him, worry and concern evident on his face. He tried to touch Alfred again, but his hands just went right through the other.

"I don't know yet, but I sure do feel like it." Alfred climbed into bed and burrowed under the covers. "I hate to feel like this when you'll be gone in the morning."

'It's fine, we can talk from here.' Ivan sat on the bed. 'I will watch over you while you sleep.'

Alfred smiled. "I like that. With you here, I don't have to fear those shadow monsters." He rolled onto his side. "I hope I don't have too many dreams tonight."

Ivan thought to himself, 'I wonder if I can go into his dreams? He was always heavy on dreams, my Light.'

"Goodnight, Ivan." He really was very tired and knew he would wake up with a cold tomorrow morning.

'Goodnight, Alfred. Sleep well.'

Ivan watched over him until Alfred was softly snoring among the pillows. If he could go in to Alfred's dreams, then did that mean they could touch each other? Ivan needed this Alfred to fall in love with him all over again so he could win his heart back. He would be unable to fully win Alfred's love by being a ghost who could do nothing else but speak to him. Ivan wanted them to be able to embrace one another and hold hands. If lovemaking were possible at all, then Ivan would jump at that. He wondered if human Alfred would be any different from angel Alfred? Before he could answer any of these questions, Ivan needed to be sure he could even SEE into Alfred's dreams. He didn't know how to go about doing it, so it would just have to take the chance.

First, Ivan tested his hand through Alfred's body, letting it pass through the skin. He moved his hand inside of Alfred, but could feel nothing between his fingers. Sighing, he removed his hand and looked upon the sleeping face. This time, Ivan leaned his head down to slip inside of Alfred's. When he attempted this, Ivan was shocked by what he saw. His vision was completely white, but he could hear Alfred's voice somewhere in the distance. Quickly, he pulled his head out to look upon the other, seeing Alfred still sound asleep. Tapping his chin in thought, Ivan decided to try something by lying his body completely overtop of Alfred's. Instantly, his ghostly form sunk in to Alfred's body and he disappeared.

When he opened his eyes, Ivan found himself in an area filled with numerous bodies of sleeping Alfred. Each Alfred was floating in a bubble and all dressed differently. As he made his way through all of them, his mind was registering what era they were from. He didn't know what any of them were, though. There was Spartan, Egypt, Tudor, Viking, Pilgrim, Patriot, Civil War, and the names just continued on. Each one was a past life Alfred suffered through. However, Ivan noticed among the male rebirths, there were a few female ones. Ivan stopped at an Alfred in woman form, and smiled brightly. He wondered what 'her' name was, and if she was exactly the same as male Alfred. Ivan was very curious, but knew he had to search out 'dream' Alfred.

Wandering further, Ivan saw a landscape up ahead slowly coming closer. It was a large body of water and had a very strange surface. He stopped when reaching the scene and reached down to touch the tan dirt. Amazed that he could touch it, Ivan watched the strange dirt pour through his fingers. It reminded him of Alfred's ashes and his missing heart began to ache. Wiping his hands of the dirt, he walked forward to the large body of water, feeling a warm and gentle breeze blow through his hair. He squinted his eyes at the body of water that made noise and folded over itself. The entire area was very warm and Ivan started to do something he had NEVER done before other than when he was sick. He was sweating. Ivan had to take off his top and tuck it into his belt as he continued to search for Alfred.

"Alfred?" He called softly. "Alfred, are you here?" There was a splash in the water and he moved to get a closer look. In the water, he saw Alfred diving in and out of the water. Ivan smiled as he continued to watch the other swim. He admired Alfred's body as he came to stand still in the water, slicking his hair back for a moment onto to shake it wild again. Ivan noticed the muscles on Alfred's body and though he admired them, he missed the lithe angel form. But no matter what, his Alfred was gorgeous all over. "Alfred!" He called louder.

"Ivan? Is that you?" Alfred asked when he noticed the other there. "Wow! It is you! I can't see through you!"

Ivan looked down at himself and finally noticed that he was whole. "I am!" This means he could touch Alfred! He could hold and kiss his beloved angel after so long! Ivan took off in a run towards Alfred as the man came out of the water with only short pants on. With a cry of pure joy, Ivan lifted him into the air and swung him. "Alfred! My Alfred!"

"WHOA! IVAN, SLOW DOWN! GAH! TOO TIGHT!" Alfred thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head when Ivan paused in their swinging to give him a bear hug. "Ivan…please…I need AIR!"

"I'm sorry! I can't stop loving you now!" Ivan lowered him to his feet, but showered the warm face with kisses.

"Ivan! Gah! Hold it!" Alfred tried to avoid the series of kisses that rained down upon him. It was way too much all too sudden, and he had to lift his arms to block any more of Ivan's kisses. "Ivan, that's enough! Stop it!"

"What was that?" Ivan asked. "Lay you down? Yes!"

"No! That's not what I- WAH!" Alfred was tackled to the sand with Ivan lying on top of him. He immediately froze at the intimate position and his face flared up with embarrassment. "I-Ivan?" Alfred noticed the now serious look on Ivan's face as the man lay above him. While the feeling was vaguely familiar, Alfred was still intimidated by it. Ivan's body was heavy atop his own and there was something poking against his pelvic bone. "Oh dear…" 'Ack! I sound like my dad now!'

"Alfred…please, do not try to run right now. I have waited thousands of years to touch you again like this. I will not take you unless you are ready. But please, I beg you…let me just feel your body. Please? I beg to no one but you. Please?"

Alfred was still hesitant to let Ivan 'touch' him while in such a sexual position. But when he heard Ivan pleading and looked into those violet eyes, he did not have the heart to say 'no'. He gave the other a little nod, but turned his head to the side and blushed further.

Ivan felt his blood race in his veins when he saw Alfred give his consent. The first thing he did was kiss Alfred's neck. He shuddered in delight at the feel of the soft skin he remembered under his lips. He kept the kisses gentle, letting his lips indulge in the sweet and salty taste. He threaded his fingers with Alfred's and brought the hand up to rub against his own cheek. Ivan moaned softly as he nuzzled the hand to savior the feeling. His other hand stroked and rubbed all along the length of the other's body, starting at the shoulders. Light's body used to be lithe, but Ivan could feel muscles under the soft skin. The feeling was entirely new to him, but not at all unpleasant. His Alfred was perfect in every way.

Alfred had never been touched so intimately before. Numerous times he had seen his fathers together, and Ivan reminded him of his papa. This was how his papa would treat his dad inside the bedroom when little boys should be in bed. The feeling was good but also a little strange, probably because this has never happened to him before. There was so much history between him and Ivan (most he did not know), so this should feel special to him. Yet it was still making him feel a little uncomfortable. 'I'm just not used to it.' He reasoned with himself. 'I'm just not.' How he wished he knew more about their past relationship. Then, his eyes widened and he let out a little gasp when Ivan's rough hand brushed over a bare nipple. The gasp was immediately accompanied with a blush.

When Ivan heard that little gasp and the perfect pink streak across his lovers' nose, all the blood rushed to his groin. He had promised Alfred that he would not try or do anything, but his lower body pressed against the other. When his cock brushed against Alfred's clothed one, the other man shuddered and gave him a look of both pleasure and fear. 'Just like that first time.' Alfred's body was warm as well as the climate around them…just like the first time. Ivan's breathing increased rapidly as his lust for his long-lost lover intensified. He pushed himself between Alfred's legs and wrapped his arms around the other's back, holding him tight. "Alfred! My love! My Light!" He gripped the dark blonde locks and maneuvered Alfred's head so he could bring their lips into a crushing kiss. Ivan felt the other struggling against him as his hips thrust forward and his mouth devoured. He just couldn't stop himself. His dead lover was now alive and well before him.

'Oh no…no…stop it! Ivan, stop!' Alfred said to himself since his lips were currently occupied. The feel of Ivan's dick against his own was stimulating, but he wasn't ready for it. It was hard to wrestle his face away, but he finally did and gasped out, "Stop!"

Ivan did so. "What? What's wrong?"

"It's too much, Ivan! I just met you!"

"But we have known each other for thousands of years! I was the only person you had EVER been with! You know me!"

Alfred blushed. "But…but I don't REMEMBER you." He could see the look of hurt on Ivan's face. "I mean…I'm not saying I don't like you or anything! I'm just saying that…while your feelings are still fresh from the time you went to sleep until now…mine are not. I need more time, Ivan. That's all. I need more time to get to know you and learn about my past. Our past. Okay?"

Ivan rolled off of him and sat on the sand, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Alfred." He sighed. "You just…don't understand the amount of…of turmoil and pain I have suffered being away from you for so long." Ivan gritted his teeth and buried his face in his knees. "I don't MEAN to hurt you! But try to understand my position." The last part was a whisper.

Alfred sat up from the sand and rubbed Ivan's back. "I'm sorry, Ivan. I'm not saying 'no' to anything, but I just need more time. A lot has happened in the past two days…and I need time to adjust." He rests his forehead against Ivan's shoulder. "Please, don't be mad at me. I have a lot of…of issues of my own that need sorting too. So if you love me as you say you do…you will give me time."

Ivan lifted his head to look into blue orbs. "I've waited a thousand and more years…I can wait a bit longer. Just promise me I will be allowed to hold you in these dreams? I won't be able to in the real world."

Alfred smiled at him. "I can handle that. In fact, I think I like that idea more." He sat next to Ivan and pointed out into the ocean. "Do you know what that is in front of us?"

"A lot of water?" Alfred laughed.

"This is the sea, or the ocean. It takes up a LOT of the earth! We're sitting on sand right now. It's the shore. I doubt you've seen the ocean living in the frozen tundra of Russia?"

Ivan blinked. "Russia? What's that?"

"Uh, that's…where you lived. Or…where you USED to live, I guess. The country is called 'Russia'. Was that not the name when you were alive?"

Ivan looked at him innocently, blinking. "I do not understand what you are asking me, Alfred. I lived in a tribe. A very small one in the middle of a snow-covered world. It had no name."

"Oh. Well, in my age, it's called 'Russia'. You are a Russian native."

Ivan gave a little smile. "Call me whatever you wish, my Light."

"That's not what-" Alfred sighed. "Ivan, you're a nut case. But I like ya anyway." They sat in silence for a moment until Alfred stood up. "Come on, I want to show you the ocean! This is my dream! The ocean and beach is my favorite place to be! Share it with me!"

Ivan stood up as well and grinned. "I would follow you into a monster's mouth, my Light."

"Yeah…" he cleared his throat and took Ivan's hand "follow me!" He lead Ivan down to the surf and told him to take off his boots, roll up his pants, and prepare to get wet. Next, he held Ivan's hand and watched as the water covered their feet and ankles. Ivan looked a bit concerned when the wave hit, but Alfred just laughed and squeezed his hand. "Don't be afraid, Ivan! It's just sea water!"

Ivan gulped. "It's sucking me in! Alfred! Don't let go!"

Alfred laughed loudly at that. "Oh my God! That's rich! Ivan, you're not moving anywhere! It just feels that way!"

"Ah…yes. Yes, I see."

Alfred could see that Ivan was a bit frightened of the ocean, so he changed his pace. "Hey Ivan! I bet you can't catch me!" He leapt out of the way and laughed happily. "Come on! Try and get me!"

"Alfred! The water!" Ivan 'eeped' and ran away from the foamy water that 'chased' him.

"HA HA HA HA! It won't hurt you! Come on, if you can catch me, then you can kiss me!"

Ivan froze in mid-run at Alfred's proposal. He grinned evilly. "I will catch you, my sweet angel! No white topped water shall defeat me!" Ivan ran after him, splashing through the surf.

"HA HA HA HA HA! CAN'T GET ME!"

The chase carried on for a short while until Alfred let himself be caught. He laughed happily when Ivan tackled him to the sand. Even though he was on his belly in the wet sand, he couldn't help arching his neck to kiss Ivan's lips. The act surprised him and he blushed. "Oh…sorry about that. I got carried away."

Ivan's purple eyes sparkled after the kiss. "I don't care! Get carried away as much as you like!"

"Ivan…you're just too sweet for words." Alfred slipped out from under him. "I'm glad we can be together in my dreams like this. It's just another way to get to know you better."

"And I would love to get to know the 'today' Alfred. I still long for you in your Sun Angel form, but I love you too much to care. So long as you stay with me, love me, and promise to be mine, then I am happy." The surf came up suddenly and washed away some of the wet dark sand from their limbs. "If this is your favorite place, then it is mine as well!"

"You're sweet…but you should find your own place to be happy in."

"That's being with you, Alfred." Ivan said seriously. "As long as I'm with you, it could be in a black pit somewhere. I wouldn't care, so long as you were by my side."

Alfred smiled. "You really are a sweet guy, Ivan. I swear, you're the only one who understands me. You don't find my dreams 'weird' or my thoughts 'odd'. You accept me for who I am."

Ivan kissed his cheek. "You are my everything. You are my sun, stars, moon, and life. I will love you no matter what. I will care for, cherish, and adore you for eons and eons."

"Damn…that's so…so…ugh! That's stupidly romantic it's ridiculous!" Alfred blushed softly. "But it's really sweet."

"My Alfred. I-" The dream scene suddenly melted away as Ivan was yanked from the warm happiness with his lover. "ALFRED!" Ivan screamed his lover's name, but all he could see was darkness. "No…no, it can't be that time already! NO!" Ivan looked down at the black pit and heard the chains rattling their way up to him. "NO! NO STOP! PLEASE!" The shackles wrapped around his wrists, legs, and neck immediately while pulling him down at full speed. "I BEG YOU! LET ME GO!"

Ivan fell heavily onto the cold floor, landing on the chains. He hissed as his body ached from the iron links. Cold air and darkness surrounded him again, and Ivan felt like crying. He did cry, and from his eyes fell more bloody tears. He was just enjoying a warm life with Alfred, and then in seconds he was carried back under the earth. The air was stall and cold…like always. He looked upon his bound wrists and sobbed openly. 'Alfred! Alfred, my love! My angel! I am here!'

'Foolish mortal!' Hissed the God of Winter as he approached Ivan. 'You did NOT ask permission to go into the angel's dreams! HOW DARE YOU!'

Ivan pleaded with him. 'My Lord of All, please, hear my plea! I did nothing wrong! I am innocent! I just need to get him to remember himself and me!'

'A word of caution before your punishment; never forget that this Light is not the same as the one you knew. This world he lives in is very different from ours. It has different views and morals. So remember this. Everything you want from him may not be the same as what HE wants. His feelings have changed through rebirth. Yours have not.'

Ivan just stared at him, realizing that the old god may be right. 'But he will remember me…he will!' he reasoned silently with himself.

'Now, time for your punishment.'

'I did nothing wrong.' Ivan whispered.

'You lie. You belong to me.' He held out his gray palm and Ivan was jerked into the air by the chains around his wrists. 'You shall be punished for this act of disobedience.' The old god said as he moved to stand behind Ivan. Gripping Ivan's tunic, the God of Winter ripped the fabric down the middle, exposing the other's back. 'You will be whipped by me until I see fit.'

Ivan purged his lips together and said nothing. The God of Winter formed a whip from a ray of black light. Ivan recognized the sound and closed his eyes tight. 'Alfred, my beloved. Come back for me tonight! I will be there, pain or no pain! Nothing will keep me away from you.' The first slash bit through his skin, drawing blood. Ivan kept silent as the next whip came, opening his flesh. 'Alfred…I bear all this for you.' Another lash came, threatening a gasp to escape his tight lips. 'Let them always beat me, and never you. Your human and lover will come to you soon.'

And the whipping continued on.

End Chapter 5 TBC
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Fallen Embers