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Alternate Tracks 2nd Story in Rivalry Series	By : kurahieiritrJIO Category: +G to L > Initial D Views: 2560 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Initial D, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 4
- 5
- 6
Author Note: This story contains 39 chapters. Please be patient as I revise, and get the chapters up on this site. I am returning a few chapters that I had chopped before posting elsewhere. See any many problems? Please let me know.

CHAPTER 5

Takumi Fujiwara drove along the familiar track of Akina's mountain pass contemplating his chaotic personal life. The extreme changes between himself and Keisuke Takahashi staggered him. They had been teammates with Project D for several months. Their relationship shifted from tense rivals into intimate friendship without warning seven weeks before. Takumi was pushing himself hard to change his beliefs since getting involved with the spiky-haired man dominating his thoughts when he was not even present.

His heart was relieved that Keisuke's yellow FD wasn't behind him as Takumi glanced in his rear view mirror. He was still irritated at Mogi's most recent verbal jabs. The youth did not want to growl at Keisuke because of his newest struggle with wounded scruples.

'Every time Mogi calls and Keisuke finds out, he gets . . . I don't know . . . he just seems to feel more devoted whenever he kisses me. It feels like he finds extra excuses to touch me after she makes me feel like a complete ass-hole. I'm getting sick of refusing to take Mogi back. Keisuke has been mind-blowing level affectionate this week. If I tell him that Mogi and I got into another fight, he'll get pissed as her, and will badger me to tell him everything. He'll try to wrap himself around me and ignore practice if he realizes I'm upset. I have to get over my foul mood so we don't get sidetracked. I promised Ryosuke-san to keep Keisuke training, so I've got to make sure he does.'

Takumi winced as sunlight bounced into his eyes from a reflective traffic sign. Headaches were also getting more common. Battling with himself over how he felt about Keisuke daily left Takumi's temples sore and throbbing. Add Mogi's high-pitched arguments crackling over the phone lines, and Takumi was miserable. He rubbed his forehead with his left hand as he drove up Akina's winding course.

Trying to ignore his throbbing temples, Takumi began thinking about the morning when Keisuke kissed him the first time. The teen still felt every nuance of those poignant sensations that moved him to grab the blond around his waist before Keisuke could close the door to his heart. Other kisses had followed that morning as Takumi caved to the compulsion to accept Keisuke's all consuming, and freely offered love. If not for how engrossing Keisuke's emotions persisted in being, Takumi would have walked away.

Every time he saw Keisuke, Takumi felt drawn deeper into the spiky-haired blond's devotion, and undeniable pleasure of each kiss and touch that he received. Staying on schedule with their weight shifting training was difficult once Keisuke derailed his attention. Keisuke's touch tangled his emotions into knots so quickly that chaotic memory shards rising now trapped Takumi in a tailspin with every seductive act.

'This is the fifth week of Keisuke's water cup training. He's improved fast in his brake mastery. Wish he would focus on body awareness behind the wheel. He still needs a lot of work to master feeling beyond his seat and steering wheel. He's got to focus more on understanding weight shifting. I swear if I hear even one crack about his body only being aware of mine this evening, I'm punching him. I know Keisuke can master this if he'd simply pay attention to my hachi roku. Maybe I should make him drive a couple laps on his own. If I'm not in the damned passenger seat, he won't have any excuse for his attention wandering.'

Takumi had convinced Keisuke to focus on driving for a set amount of time every other night. Keisuke had agreed after extracting the condition that they spent time together as a couple after training. He had gained a lot of insight into Keisuke's personality as he spent time with him. A new sense of balance was happening between them as Takumi got used to Keisuke's habits and dominant personality traits. He no longer felt like he was going to lose his own strength of character, although he still found himself following Keisuke's lead most of the time.

Takumi continued adding additionally charged memories of passionate encounters with his current partner to the ever expanding list. However, the teen panicked whenever things got sexually heated between them. His panic attacks were not due to prickles from his masculine pride. These panics came from deep, long forgotten childhood roots. Takumi had discovered that his early childhood was often to blame for his knee jerk withdrawal from Keisuke.

'Can the attraction between us get any stronger? The tension gets harder to ignore every time we train together. At least Kenta's advice is sort of working. I'm not as panicked as I was four weeks ago. Now all I can think is how things would have gone the other night if I hadn't chickened out again. There's undeniable, potent chemistry between me and Keisuke that shifts into full-blown passion at extraordinary speed, and with little warning. I want Keisuke to stay with me, but I've got to get over this stupid fear to make it happen. I need to trust him.'

Their private, romantic time had become a source of nonstop sexual tension as Keisuke drew him into deeper physical levels of love making. Keisuke made slow, steady progress in his campaign to get what he so obviously wanted. The blond's tactics were never forceful, yet that made each tactic so devious. His teammate had found many ways to turn Takumi on since they started dating. Many things Keisuke had done when arousing him were revelations of how his own body responded. Takumi now found blue balls to be a problem with which he did not care to suffer long.

Nightly dreams tormented Takumi with replays of everything Keisuke discovered about getting past his defenses. The younger ace wanted to be close to Keisuke, and was losing his fear of being dominated by the feisty blond's personality. The teen found ways to make himself understood. Now, Takumi's body drove him crazy frequently whether Keisuke was there to torment him into heightened states of arousal or not. He was dealing with painful erections every night. Sleep eluded him until he relieved himself.

While Takumi still felt awkward because of his own maleness, he had lost much of his fear over following Keisuke's lead when his partner got amorous. Takumi often wondered what would happen if he stopped having the overwhelming panic attacks every time things got really heated between them. As Takumi became more attracted to Keisuke, the blond became even more affectionate, leading to more erotic contact.

Keisuke was holding himself in check to give him enough time to adjust to having a male significant other. Yet, the blond also wrapped him inside his arms and kisssed Takumi senseless at every opportunity. Keisuke had never intentionally pushed him beyond what he felt sure he was comfortable with handling. Still, Takumi kept having panic attacks of different strengths at the oddest moments. Although his feistier partner tried to keep from freaking him out, Takumi never knew when panic would hit. It frustrated him more than Keisuke when he jerked away as his emotions went haywire.

Keisuke payed close attention to his reactions and stopped whenever he started to get shaken by intense responses to Keisuke's intimate advances. Keisuke was attempting to adapt to his needs despite all the headaches. Takumi's memory had imbedded several very distressing moments from the previous weeks of trying to find a happy balance between his own masculine traits, and Keisuke's overwhelming maleness into his thoughts.

Takumi bounced his head off the headrest and tightened his fingers around hachi roku's steering wheel. He huffed, brooding over his unintentional cowardice. His curiosity and hormones overshadowed most of his social conditioning, but breaking down certain barriers between himself and Keisuke was still very difficult. His childhood was the barrier Takumi found hardest to remove. Without faith in his ability to not make unforgivable mistakes, Takumi found himself terrified of loving everything yet again. Pushing beyond his fear of abandonment he had required seeking the root of those fast flashing images he could not place. Some had surfaced in his sleep as horrific nightmares.

Takumi no longer felt unsettled about Keisuke's strong, often domineering virility. If not for that very trait, Takumi knew he would not have begun to uncover the source of his greatest fear. It had never been Keisuke's gender that alarmed Takumi to the core of his being. It was the realization of how important the other man was becoming to him which was causing Takumi so much anguish.

'I've got to get rid of this crazy fear that Keisuke will vanish like everyone else I've ever trusted, or loved. He's made it clear that he loves me, and wants to be with me. I need to trust that he's not going to leave me if I let myself go with him. I need to learn how to trust, even if it means I'm not in control. It's not like Keisuke's trying to use, or hurt me. Just the opposite's been happening. I'm not trying to, but I hurt him whenever I jerk away like I've been burned.'

Takumi was terrified. Losing the emotional closeness Keisuke honestly gave every time they were together triggered his worst panic attacks. The teen's deep-rooted fear of getting attached remained the largest barrier between them. Everything Takumi genuinely wanted, and needed had been out of the question all his life it seemed. Moments of feeling that he was special to another were rare before Keisuke showed him he was cherished.

A lifetime of losses made Takumi too shy to make any move that might allow him to close the emotional distance with Keisuke. Harsh lessons gave the amber-haired young man reason to fear taking risks that could lead to another harsh rejection. Takumi therefore insured that his need of affection, and physical gratification remained bottled deep inside his heart, trapped behind a wall.

'I wonder if I'll ever close the rift, because I do need Keisuke. I can't stand the idea of his vanishing from my life. That thought terrifies me more than Oyaji learning about us. Considering how violent Oyaji gets, feeling this way is probably suicidal. How can Keisuke stand being with me after all my freak outs? Does Keisuke think I'm pushing him away on purpose? I can't make myself stop. Keisuke's determined to break down the barriers that I can't tear down, yet the hell I'm causing must be taking a toll.'

Images flashed in his head of how seductive Keisuke chose to be. The memory of every sensation his spiky-haired tormentor induced with a quick kiss and a devil-may-care smirk made Takumi squirm in his seat. His body remembered their last two encounters with a vivid and unexpected power that made the teen grit his teeth as he tried to block his body's overwhelming reaction while he drove.

'Damn. I get so damned hot whenever I think about him. I'm always thinking about Keisuke now. At this rate, I probably can't get us through practice if he's in a pushy mood, and gets sidetracked tonight. Naze the hell does Keisuke have to be so talented at making me horny?'

Takumi could still feel Keisuke's hands glide along his body as their tongues battled for supremacy. The way Keisuke caressed his arousal, his lips curved into a smile as he taunted him with words flashed through Takumi's mind. Takumi's fingers remembered the angles and planes of Keisuke's form that he had begun to memorize as he learned how to please Keisuke in return. Their most recent, and heated make out sessions had shown Takumi that he could enjoy seducing Keisuke as they explored mutual masturbation. The blond's touch had burned new sensations into the teen's mind and body. Despite the temporary halt they had taken when he had panicked, everything had worked out finally.

His pulse revved as he sought to quell his body's nonstop hunger through force of will. Takumi's foot pushed on the accelerator as he wrestled with the desires focused on the man he was supposed to meet. Takumi noticed a car pull out of the skating rink lot across from him. He frowned, noting his speed when he checked his gauges. He backed his foot off the gas pedal, and sighed at the empty road behind him as he checked his side, and rearview.

Takumi knew preoccupation was dangerous while driving. He was focusing on Keisuke to the exclusion of all else. His teeth ground together while giving himself a strong mental shake. His emotions sought to focus even more on Keisuke as he fought to get his attention focused where it scratched his head and checked his mirrors yet again. The road remained clear behind him. Empty mirrors depressed part of Takumi because the yellow FD wasn't there. He wanted to see the man that had wormed under his defenses. Takumi mentally shook himself, and shifted his thoughts away from his current partner.

'Oyaji expects me to get married some day. I considered going back to Natsuki to make him happy before Keisuke convinced me to date him. I almost took Natsuki back because of Oyaji's expectations, but I can't do it any longer. So, how can I get Mogi to stop calling every day, swearing she loves me when I know better? Will continually telling her iie goad her to backslide into subsidy dating?'

Takumi's thoughts turned back to the phone confrontation he had with his previous crush after he got home from work. The teen frowned at the road as Mogi's words echoed up from the depths. He recalled how her voice rose to a hysterical note as their latest verbal battle returned to haunt him.

"Takumi-kun, please don't do this. I messed up when I didn't tell you about Papa, but I swear I don't want anyone but you. Please give me another chance."

"Natsuki, it won't work. You don't love me, and I don't want you to hate me once you realize I'm not the person you really need."

"Takumi-kun, I do love you! Naze won't you believe, and try to forgive me?"

"I forgave you for hiding the situation from me. This isn't about needing to forgive anything, Mogi. I know you felt you had to see him."

"It is! I made a mistake when I kept seeing Papa after he paid off Okāsan's bills. I told you that I didn't know I was losing something important to me. I got into a rut, so I continued to see him. Papa's a nice person. But, I don't love him like I love you."

"Maybe you should go back to him. He obviously loves you a great deal or he wouldn't have done so much for you. He can give you more than I can, Natsuki."

"iie! I left Papa because I only want to be with you. It doesn't matter if he would take me back. I won't get involved with subsidized dating ever again, Takumi-kun!"

"Mogi, we were never a couple. Even when we went on dates, we did things more as friends than anything else. Maybe I don't read people very well, but, . . . I always felt you were more interested in me as a friend, . . . or an onīsan, . . . than as, . . . a boyfriend."

"When we went out, I waited for you to ask me to be your girlfriend, Takumi-kun. I still want to be with you if you'll just give me a chance to prove that I am willing to change for you. Can't you try to believe me?"

"Mogi, I found out how different things are with the person I'm seeing now. I know their feelings for me are real. I don't have doubts about whether they love me, or need me like I had when we were seeing each other. Gomen na . . . It's just, . . . I never felt, . . . Look, you didn't seem to need me the way this person does."

"Are you saying you couldn't tell how I felt about you when we went out? Didn't you understand when I kissed you, that I wanted to be with you, Takumi?"

"All I knew was that you wanted to hang out, . . . like we did in our soccer club. Can you understand that's the kind of feeling I got from you, Mogi?"

"Do you hate me that much, Takumi-kun?"

"How often do I have to repeatedly say I don't hate you? I always felt more like you wanted me to be an onīsan, or a pal when I was with you, Mogi. That's not a reason for me to hate you. I doubt you could love me the way I wanted when we were dating a year ago."

"Tell me nani you want from me so I can prove that I do love you, Takumi-kun. I'll do whatever you want so you'll believe me. I'll even come home if you say the word. You told me a couple months ago that you were having trouble getting over my seeing Papa. That's the reason you're doing all of this, isn't it?" The female voice on the other end of the line sounded smug as Mogi pounced on his previous observation with a new twist added. She was turning his words into a present tense idea, when he had meant past tense.

"iie, it's not. Would you listen to me, Mogi?"

"Your new girlfriend, and everything else you're saying right now is because of how much I hurt you. I know I deserve to suffer, because I was wrong. I guess I'll wait until you decide to forgive me. I'll do whatever it takes to make you understand that we belong together, Takumi-kun."

"I'm with someone that I know loves me, Natsuki. I won't change my mind. Gomen na, but, this has to stop. Stop hurting yourself this way. You don't love me, and I know it."

"Takumi, I know you'll take me back once you see how much I've changed. Even if your new girlfriend loves you, that doesn't mean you love her too. You've admitted that you do love me."

"Nani? Mogi, the hell's that supposed to mean?" Takumi felt his anger rise several degrees as his fist tightened around the receiver. He did not want Mogi to return. She had her own life to live. "I said I felt that way when we were dating a year ago. I meant it in the past tense, Natsuki. I'm happy with the person I'm seeing. Stop twisting my words!"

"You tell me you know she loves you, but you haven't said you feel the same about her. You would've said you love her, if you didn't still love me. You just admitted that you wanted me to love you better. So, I will, Takumi-kun."

"Natsuki! I'm not going to change my mind. It doesn't matter nani you offer me, I know you'll regret it someday. Find someone who makes you happy, and lets you be yourself. You have to stop insisting that I'm the person you want. I don't want you to destroy your life, or yourself so you can be with me. That's not an option. It will bring nothing but misery for you and for me."

"I won't give up. I know you're the one for me, Takumi-kun. Natsuki is going to make sure you realize it too!"

Takumi turned onto a side road that skirted Lake Akina. He followed the road along the side of the lakeshore and, skirted the boat docks. The vividness of their conversation had choked his libido which was a relief of sorts. Takumi forced away their argument with supreme effort. The anguish her words caused ate at him. Mogi's accusation that he didn't love his new partner stuck with Takumi as much as her offers to ruin her life to make him accept her. His guilty conscience jabbed at his heart as he closed in on his destination.

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Alternate Tracks 2nd Story in Rivalry Series