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Out of and into Love	By : Catalinalunamoon Category: Gravitation > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1542 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own...owned by maki murakami...see full disclaimer

Chapter List
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Ring! Ring! Ring! Ring! The phone in Tohma’s office began to ring. He picked it up and before he could even say a word, Ryuichi’s voice came through the phone. “Tohma. I need to hear Shu’s new demo.” It was said with a flat, serious tone. Tohma pulled the phone from his ear and just stared at it for a moment. Then, he seemed to collect himself again.

“What do you know about it? Why the serious tone? What bro..” He was cut off by Ryuichi speaking again.

“I spoke with Eiri. He told me to listen to it then call him back. He also asked me if I still love Shu. Point blank. No warning, just asked flat out. Now, I want to know why. That is why I need to hear the tape, Tohma.” Ryuichi had never sounded so serious. Not even when he was singing. It made Tohma a little nervous to not know what was going through his friend’s mind. If he was in front of him, there would be no mistaking what was going through his transparent friend’s mind.

“Come to my place and I will play it for you.” Tohma said. That way he could gauge the trouble being started. Knowing Ryuichi was like tending a wounded lion. You never knew when they would snap.

“No. I need to hear it alone. I will find a way to do so. It would just be easier if you allowed it yourself.” Ryuichi was starting to get impatient. Tohma may be a good friend but he could also be a hindrance. The silence from the other end was frustrating as well. “Never mind. Bye!” With that the line was dead. Ryuichi called K. Using his innocent voice, he convinced K that he needed to hear the tape. K was bringing the tape to him.

K handed Ryuichi the tape, making him promise to not damage it and to give it right back to him. “Yeah, yeah! Go away already” Ryuichi thought. However, he just kept up the innocent facade until K left. Yuki had sounded really odd on the phone. He was never that open with anyone, especially to Ryuichi. Something to do with Shu....hmmm. Ryuichi put the tape in his sound system and pushed play. His first thoughts on the sound were that it was way different than Shuichi’s normal sound. This did not bode well. He grabbed Kuma so that he was less likely to blow his top. Being well aware of his temper and the effects it can have when allowed free reign, it was a wise choice. Then Shu’s voice started. “Oh my god! Is that really him singing? It sounds so...so angry! Not just angry, hurt. Ryuichi makes himself stop thinking and just listen to it. When the song ends, he was shaking. He got up, rewound the tape and again he listened. As he listened, he thought, “I need to get a feel for it. Then I can begin to sort this all out. Yuki, Shu, Tohma, me.” Most evident in the song was the pain. To hear it, without knowing who it was about, was hard enough but to know, personally, the players involved. It damn near ripped Ryuichi’s heart out. Playing it again a couple of times, he begin to sort out the other emotions in the words. Then he started getting royally pissed. The anger, frustration, agony. That bastard was right. Shu WAS about to break! “Part of me wants to go over to Yuki’s place, lay him out and beat the piss out of him! Now, Ryu, remember he had called you.” He breathed slow, deep breaths until he calmed down. “Now what do I do? I know Shu loves Yuki but he is also hurting too. I want to hold him until the pain stops. Time to make that call to Yuki.” Keeping his grip on Kuma, he dialed Yuki’s number. He picked up the phone on the first ring.

“Sakuma-san.” he said, his voice very wary. Very understandable, given the current situation and Ryuichi’s past. “What did you think of the tape?” Ryuichi reminded himself to stay calm but he knew he had to say how he really felt. Tightening his grip on Kuma, he began to speak.

“Honestly, I was pissed. I wanted to come over and pulverize you. Why? Why did you make him feel like this? What did you do? He is not supposed to be broken and bloody. Yet, that is exactly how he sounds. If he were any other person, he would have begun to hurt himself. He hasn’t, has he?” Ryuichi asked, suddenly fearful.

“No he hasn’t. Nakano-san has been keeping a close eye on him. Not that he tells me anything, but...” His voice trails off into a whisper. “I know if something like that were to happen, I would find my door busted open by Nakano-san. As to why? I haven’t exactly been verbose about my feelings with Shu. I do love him but I can’t say it. You also know of my tendency to be distant and cold. He is such a passionate person that he needs to feel it, to hear it. I do not want him to hurt anymore. That is why I tried so hard before to get rid of him. I know I am a thoughtless, cold bastard. You don’t have to say what you are thinking. I know I haven’t treated him right.” Stunned, Ryuichi thought, “Wow! He has never spoken so much or honestly with me.” He found his temper dropping a little bit.

“So...why did you call me? You know my feelings for him and for you, for that matter.” Ryuichi makes himself get to the matter at hand. “What do you want from me?” Ryuichi heard him take a deep breath before he speaks with a shuddering voice.

“I am going to let him go. I know if anyone can show him the love he deserves, it is you. Much as I hate,” and here, his voice took on a biting tone. “Much as I hate to give him up, I know it is the best thing for him.” On the last part, his voice softened again. “If you love him as much as you say...” Ryuichi interrupted, getting a little heated again.

“You know he won’t just come to me. He loves you, even when you are a bastard to him! All those times you threw him out, yelled at him and ignored him, he still loves you. How am I supposed to help you with this? He may think I am a god but you know better!” He stopped his tirade and breathes himself calm again. “What genius plan do you have? What makes you think he will go along with it all. Despite all his pain, and anger...yes i heard it all in his voice. Despite all that, he still loves you.”

“I am going to go away. Go away and not even Tohma will find me. He will come home to an empty house and a letter. I will explain it in such a way that he should understand.” I grit my teeth but the growl still escapes.

“A letter? A fucking letter? People say I am insane! All that will do is push him to try to find you!”

“No, Sakuma-san. It won’t. However, much as I don’t want it to happen, it may break him. I need you to help him pick up the pieces. Love him, cherish him, never push him away. If you do find that your love fades, be gentle with him about it. Be ready in two days.” With that, Yuki hung up. Ryuichi stared at the phone in his hand, stunned.

“Oh shit! Now what? Maybe, I should call Tohma. No, if he wanted Tohma involved, he would have called him. Not to mention, my friend would get too much pleasure from Shu-chan’s pain. I will just have to sort this out on my own.” Ryuichi rambled on to Kuma. After he made a copy of the demo, he called K, making sure to use his innocent voice again. Ryuichi tells K that he can have the tape back. After he leaves, Ryuichi began making plans. Plans that will either save Shu from himself and Yuki or break himself in the process. “God, I hope I can do this.”
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Out of and into Love