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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 52
- 53
- 54
FOR READERS APPALLED BY NON-MONOGAMY
I received many messages complaining about how the last chapter ended, what it entailed, and the idea of Natsu being "disloyal." For one, if someone permits you to flirt with someone else, that's not cheating. Consensually non-monogamous relationships are more common than people think. It's not for everyone, it has to be agreed upon all around, but couples with strong bonds of love do this for any number of reasons.
Still, many readers wrote scathing messages, and some declared they were quitting the story. (In the future, don't tell an author "I don't like where this is going so I'm quitting your story." Just quit. Silently. Maturely. I'm not going to change my story because a minority don't like it. The only thing those people accomplished was to make me feel like shit and slowed down my writing. So if you're going to quit a story, be mature and stop reading. Don't stab the author in the chest before you go.)
Anyway … because there were SO MANY complaints, I decided to do something special. Natsu will be talking with his therapist at the beginning and at the end of this chapter. If you're one of the people who are utterly disgusted by the idea of LoLu giving Gratsu a little help in the bedroom, read those italicized parts. You'll get the gist of it, so you'll understand how what happens in this chapter helped Natsu to heal.
(Also, please don't tell me "I skipped most of this." That's another good way to make an author feel like shit. When I get 10 reviews and six of them are "I skipped that one section," I start to wonder why the hell I bother writing anymore.)
Hopefully everyone can continue with this story as usual … and hopefully people will be open-minded to alternative relationships. That's what this whole fanfic is about, right? Teaching tolerance rather than animosity toward acts that prudish members of society frown upon. You should not disrespect a person just because they don't follow the socially normative convention of monogamy.
WARNING: At over 20,000 words long, this chapter technically qualifies as a novella in and of itself. Give yourself time to read it through to the end. (In other words, don't start reading this at 2AM on a school night.)
Audio drama: chirb =dot= it/9a26Cr
DEFINITIONS
Swinging versus polyamory – This confuses some people. The big difference is if someone is looking for sex or love. Swinging is often monogamously-based, with a couple maintaining their core relationship while allowing non-fidelity. Polyamory is when a person has multiple relationships that each have deep emotions: AKA, love! A swinger is looking for sex, and often the only emotion, if any, is friendship and trust. A polyamorous person is looking for multiple meaningful relationships which don't necessarily have to involve sex. A person identifies as being polyamorous, while swinging is a lifestyle. In both swinging and polyamory, consent must be obtained from all parties involved. If there is no consent, it's just cheating and adultery.
Polyiterophilia – getting aroused by having the same sexual act performed by multiple partners.
Chapter 53
Polyiterophilia
In a Therapist's Office
"So, tell me about this weekend, Natsu. Were there any problems: flashbacks, violent desires, emotional instability?"
"No! Well … I mean, it wasn't violent, but it was … um … intense? Maybe?"
"Intense? Because you were having sex with Loke?"
"N-No … we didn't … well, we did stuff, but … um … See, we switched partners, but then we switched back."
"You couldn't stay with someone else? Were you drawn back to Gray out of obsession?"
"No. They wanted us back together. The whole night was all that: slowly guiding me and Gray back to each other. And I worked through some things. It … it was good. I was good. I was okay … mostly."
"Natsu, I warned you about intimacy. I understand that you're a young man, and you have raging hormones, but your mental state is—"
"I'm mentally screwed without Gray! I tried. I tried to date, and it didn't work."
"Natsu, you had two partners. One ended after she touched you in a wrong way. The other ended because you planned a threesome behind his back. These are obvious signs that you're not ready."
"I … need him. I need Gray."
"This dependency is part of the problem. I agreed with your wish to seek out other partners because I thought it would build confidence."
"I'm not dependent on that ice bastard! I just … want him."
"We've talked about obsession."
"I know, but that's not it. Life doesn't feel right without him. I love him! That's why I did this. I want to get better … for him! So I can be with him."
"I'll leave the matter alone for now. You mentioned you worked through things. Do you think you're better now?"
"I think … I'm gonna get better. I'm not totally okay yet."
"So, tell me about this … orgy."
"It wasn't an orgy. It was a partner swap."
"I did not take you as the polyamorous type."
"Just swinging. I thought I'd give it a try."
"And you enjoyed it?"
"I … sorta … it helped."
"Helped how?"
"Lucy. What she did. What she made all of us do. She … helped. Immensely. It was like she could see all the problems I've been having, all the darkness in my head, and she just … vanquished it! She was amazing, she … dammit … she's exactly what I needed. All along. She knew exactly what to do."
"Are you … enamored with her?"
"No! I mean, she's a friend, but … no. I only love one person, and that's Gray. She did it purely to help me. All of them—Gray and Lucy and Loke—they were doing all of that just for me. Do you have any idea how that feels? Three friends facing humiliation and pain, all to help you!"
"How does it feel?"
"Incredible. Liberating. Supportive. Like, I know I'm still walking a tightrope, but now there's a safety net under me. I know if I'm messed up in the head, it's not just me and Gray alone dealing with this. I feel … safer."
"Do you mind discussing the details?"
"Well, not all of them!"
"Tell me only as much as you want. This isn't a kiss-and-tell. I just want to know for my own concerns that you're not engaging in something dangerous."
"It wasn't dangerous. It was … helpful. And caring. And … tender. Oddly enough, it was tender."
A Few Weeks Earlier, Magnolia
Natsu felt odd standing around the streets of Magnolia. He wore a suit he rarely pulled out, usually only for missions, never for a date. He fretted that someone from the guild would pass by and see him. He thought he saw Romeo running down the avenue, but he was across the street and did not notice Natsu. Maybe he did not recognize him without his scarf around his neck, wearing a tie instead. Natsu kept reaching up and tugging on the tie.
"You look dashing."
He jolted and looked around to see Loke standing there, so abruptly that he guessed the Celestial Spirit had opened his gate.
"How are you doing, Natsu?"
He tugged nervously on his tie again. "I'm … fi- … fine."
Loke gave him a soothing smile. "Don't worry so much. We're just going to eat and talk. You don't even have to think of it as a date. You just had to dress up because that's the restaurant's rules."
Natsu looked around him. It was a famous restaurant in Magnolia, serving rare delicacies from around Fiore. "I've never been to a place like this."
"It's a good chance to try new food, and I know you like to eat."
Natsu petulantly grumbled, "I have to use the right fork and stuff, don't I?"
"That part's easy. Start on the outside and work in. Besides, you're not eating in front of royalty. Well, besides that I am the King of Beasts," the Lion said with a playful wink.
Natsu laughed at the joke and relaxed a little.
Loke reached into his coat pocket. "I got you something."
Natsu gawked. Was he supposed to bring a gift? This was Loke's treat, after all. The ginger pulled forth a small box, and Natsu eyed it suspiciously. When he opened it, he saw a jade earring.
"Your ears are pierced, right?" asked Loke.
"Yeah, back when we were kids, Mira pierced all of our ears, although I think she just wanted to hurt everyone."
"Well, the green matches your eyes. Go ahead, put it on."
Natsu felt weird, getting jewelry from a man. He also saw that Loke was wearing the same jade earring in his ear. Matching earrings! He blushed as he took out the earring, slid it into his earlobe, and pushed the backing on firmly.
"It suits you," Loke smiled. "Now, how about we eat? They have great meat here."
"Meat?" Natsu perked up as he followed Loke into the restaurant.
Down a ways, wearing a trench coat with the collar turned up, Gray watched the two enter the restaurant. Loke claimed this would not necessarily be a date, but he came with jewelry, of all things. Gray had never given Natsu something like that.
Maybe he should give Natsu something to wear. A bracelet? A necklace? A … ring?
Gray shook his head at the thought. It was way too soon for that. They were trying to find a way for Natsu to get over his problems so they could be together again. Still, if this worked … if Natsu regained confidence so he could be intimate with Gray without the fear of freaking out again … maybe, just maybe…
"You're picking up habits from Juvia."
Gray jolted and looked around to see a blonde standing there with a hand on her hip.
"Lucy! I'm surprised you'd come to watch this. Honestly," Gray grumbled, "I'm surprised you're allowing it at all."
"He's under some tight rules," she told him. "No touching below the belt, no intimate kisses. He's allowed to talk in any way he wants, though. I mean," she chuckled, "it's Loke. You might put a collar on him, but you can't tame a Lion. I had to accept that if I wanted to date him. To be honest, so long as he's following our rules, I don't mind."
Gray glared at her in disbelief. "You don't mind that he flirts?"
Lucy gazed up to him with a raised eyebrow. "It's … Loke."
"Ah," Gray muttered. "I guess that's true." He had a reputation, after all.
Lucy wrapped her hands around his arm and leaned in closer. "How about you? You don't seem that happy about it."
"It was my suggestion, but … to be honest, I'm worried that Natsu might fall in love with him."
Lucy giggled and rested against his shoulder. "Do you know the difference between polyamory and swinging?"
"Something about identity versus lifestyle."
"It's also about deep love versus the sensual thrill. Loke is polyamorous, but he's willing to go monogamous for me … to a point. I've allowed him to date and flirt without intimacy, but I warned him that I own his heart exclusively. We had to make some concessions when we first hooked up. I had to accept that he would never stop flirting, and he had to accept that I have a jealous side that wants him to love no one but me. He's an expert in seduction. Trust me, he won't allow Natsu to fall in love." She tugged on his arm now. "We can't see inside the restaurant. How about we go out as well?"
Gray jolted, and only then did he realize that Lucy was wrapped around him. They were standing there like lovers.
"Just food and talk," she promised. "The same rules apply to me, you know. Flirting, but no kissing or intimate touching."
"I … I don't know…" Gray looked back to the restaurant.
"There's a café across the street. We can watch for when they leave, if you want to keep tabs on them. Standing out here, you'll attract attention. People might realize you're stalking someone."
"I'm not…" Shit, he was stalking! "Fine," he growled.
Lucy grinned happily and led him into a bakery café.
Inside the restaurant, Natsu felt overwhelmed by his surroundings, but having Loke there calmed him. Loke explained what the food on the menu was in plain words: bulgogi was grilled beef, torikatsu was simply deep-fried chicken, pudina chutney was a mint sauce, arrabbiata was a spicy tomato sauce. Loke made it easy for Natsu to order something. They had wine, and the Dragon Slayer relaxed. With Loke around, he felt like he could talk about anything. Somehow, they easily slipped into conversations he never told other people.
"Nightmares, huh?" Loke asked, sipping his wineglass.
"More like memories. Bad ones. Real bad," he muttered.
"You don't have to tell me. Not tonight. It may ruin the taste of the food. You can open up to me, though," he said soothingly. "I've seen a lot, Natsu. I'm the veteran of many wars. I've participated in massacres at the order of my masters. I know how having blood on your hands can leave deep scars on you."
Natsu jolted in shock. Blood? How…? "How did you know that's the problem?"
"It's all over your face," Loke said sadly. "It takes a man who has ended a life to recognize that darkness in the eyes of another. I can hardly believe it from someone like you, but I know there must have been a reason for it." He reached over and lightly touched the top of Natsu's wrist. "You can open up to me, tell me anything. Trust me, whatever you did that was bad enough to mess you up to this level, I've seen worse. I've probably done worse. There's no way you've killed more people than I have over the centuries."
Natsu shook his head, unable to look him in the eye. "You've never done this, I guarantee it."
"Do you want to talk about it? There are private rooms here for people making business deals or nobility discussing matters of state … or two people who need to talk without anyone overhearing. We can sit there after the meal."
"I … m-maybe."
"Don't let it eat at you. Relax for now. Enjoy the soup. It's quite good."
"I don't get it," Lucy said over cheesecake and hot cocoa. "He can't get intimate with you without nightmares, but he's trying to date others? How is that even going to work?"
Gray poked his dessert in a way that would have had Erza raging about cake desecration. "Natsu had never been with anyone before me."
"He had a girlfriend."
Gray shook his head. "He lied to protect me."
"Protect you?"
Gray stabbed his cake. "Someone saw bruises on his wrists. I … don't like admitting I'm into that."
Her face flinched as she nodded. "I totally understand," she muttered. "So you're Natsu's first partner. What does that have to do with it?"
"Every trigger stemmed from what we were doing for all those months, to the point where just being with me became a trigger in and of itself. Anything I did at all … I could see it in his eyes. He was trying to be brave but … it was becoming too much for him to handle."
"So, by dating more, he'd shift that trigger back onto the action and not onto you as a person?"
"I fucking don't know!" Gray growled under his breath, taking his aggression out on the cake. "I just know he keeps saying he needs it, needs more experience, more partners. He needs it, deep down inside. I don't think he even knows why he needs it. His subconscious knows, but he's such an idiot, he doesn't know why having multiple partners would help. He's fighting instinct, since wanting something like that doesn't make sense to someone as possessive as him."
"I can see him being that dense," Lucy giggled while sipping cocoa.
"Maybe you're right, maybe it's so he'll put the focus of these triggers back on the initial cause and not onto me. It makes sense. Still, he doesn't like the idea of doing things without me. He hates the idea of doing this since he knows it's not what I want. I think that's why he's hesitating." Gray laughed bitterly and finally ate a piece of cake. "He was the one who said he'd only want to go that far if I was involved. Idiot."
"So this was his idea," Lucy realized, nodding to herself. At least that meant Natsu really was okay with what they had planned. "I'm surprised you're going along with it, if you're as exclusive as you claim."
Gray dropped his fork with a clatter as his hands shook with pent up emotions. "I have to. It's for him. He's hurting. Being apart like this is killing him inside. I can see it."
Lucy reached across the table and rested her fingers over a trembling fist. "I can see it in you too. You want him back, but you want to protect him."
Gray's eyes drifted off in sadness. "He was crying when he was breaking up with me. That's why I thought we could try an open relationship. I thought it'd give him a chance to come back to me at any time, but … he hasn't. Only twice, and once he had to push me away. He's so messed up, I don't know how to fix him, but if this works…" His brow tensed. "I'd do anything to make him better. If being with me is a slow and steady torture, I'm willing to let him go, but … but he can't do the same. I suggested we break up for real, and he got furious. He … wants me back. I can't possibly move on when I know he wants me."
"Why not?" she asked softly.
Gray's lower lip trembled. "Because … I want him. More than anything." His eyes burned with tears he dared not shed. "It's so damn frustrating that it's him who messes me up this much, but … I … care … for him."
"Care?" she asked in concern. "Is that all?"
Gray slowly lifted his face, and Lucy saw tears beaded in his bloodshot eyes.
"I … can't say it." His voice cracked with grief. "I can't tell him. I'm … in love … so deeply … and I can't say the words." A tear rebelliously slipped down his cheek. Gray dropped his head into his folded arms and cried into the table.
Lucy's mouth dropped to see the normally cool and calm ice wizard so overwhelmed. She placed her hand on his head, smoothing down his hair.
"Gray," she whispered, pitying him as she realized both of her friends were hurting immensely.
Loke covered his mouth and leaned back. "Great stars above!"
Dinner was over, and before they tried dessert, they slipped away to a private room. Loke had just heard a tale that made his stomach twist up. Maybe they should have waited until an hour after eating before talking about this.
"That's what you did?" he whispered in horror.
Natsu was pale after explaining it all, everything, every detail, leaving out nothing. "Please don't tell Gray."
Loke shouted out, "He needs to know!"
"No, please. Don't tell him. I … don't think he would take me back. He would never want me, not if he finds out I did all that."
Loke reached forward and grabbed his shoulder. "Natsu, he needs to know. Holding back a secret like that … no wonder you have nightmares."
"He'd break up with me," argued Natsu.
"He might," Loke admitted, "but isn't it better to let him make that choice? Either he'll accept your past or push you out of his life. It's better than hiding it and leaving him dangling."
Natsu grabbed his hair and leaned over in anguish. "I want it gone. I don't ever want to go through that. If Gray knows, he'll always know, he'll always think of it. If no one knows, then it's like it never happened."
"Yet you told me."
"You said you'd keep it secret."
"I can, and I will, to the end of time. Still, that's more than just murdering someone who tortured you, Natsu. All that … you need to tell him."
Natsu bit his lip and shook his head. "I … can't. How could I tell him?"
"The same way you've just told me."
"And look at how you reacted!" screamed Natsu. "You said you've massacred people, and yet look at how you reacted to hearing that. Imagine how Gray would react. He's never killed a person in his life. He's … he's so … innocent." Natsu slammed his eyes shut and looked aside. "I can't put him through that. I'm hurting him enough as it is. If he's been waiting half a year for me just to find out I'm that sort of a killer—"
"Natsu!"
"I can't tell him yet!" he shouted. "I…" He growled and turned away. He went through one of the breathing exercises his therapist recommended to calm his rage. Quieter, he continued, "I need to be better. I need to know I can handle telling him. I can't face it. It's not even real to me! If I tell Gray, I need to be able to tell him everything. He knows I killed that man, and how I killed him. If I tell him the rest, I want to be able to tell him the full story, not bits and pieces. I need to be at a point where I can relive it all, and I'm not that stable yet."
"Should you even be in a relationship with him?" Loke asked in worry.
Natsu coughed out a bitter laugh. "Probably not. My therapist says it's a bad idea."
"Then maybe we shouldn't do this."
Natsu stared off, thinking about that, letting almost a full minute pass between them. Finally, in a distant whisper, he said, "Maybe not. If you don't want to help, I understand."
"Dammit, Natsu!" Loke sighed in frustration. "Do you think I'd let you continue like this? You'll work yourself into an early grave, do something stupid, maybe hurt Gray even more. You're dragging Gray along like a string in front of a cat, and he'll keep chasing after you. You're not going to let him go, are you?"
Natsu flinched. "I can't. I love him. I want him back."
"At what cost?"
Natsu cringed down, weighed heavily with guilt. "I … need him. Dammit! I don't even get why I need him so much, but I do."
Loke frowned at that. Dependency? Obsession? He wondered what Natsu's therapist had cautioned him about when he warned that being in a relationship was a bad idea.
Natsu suddenly yelled, "Don't you think I realized a thousand times over these past six months that I'm poison to him? I know being with him is putting his life in danger. Just being with him makes me remember the past. My brain keeps saying 'Be with more people,' like maybe that'll heal me, but I know it's torturing him as well. I … can't not hurt him, no matter what I do. And it makes me fucking sick! Still … maybe it's not loving at all, maybe it's me trying to hoard him, but … I need him. My life … damn, it's so stupid…" He growled in protest as acid burned in the back of his throat. "How is it that my life is so cold when that popsicle-dick isn't around?"
A sob broke free, and Natsu put a hand to his mouth, struggling to hold back anything more. Loke scooted closer to him and wrapped an arm around Natsu.
"Let it all out. Don't feel ashamed. I've seen the greatest warriors in history cry at far less than what you're going through. So let it all out now while it's just us."
Natsu began to sob freely.
It felt like winter had lasted for half a year. Even as spring blossomed around him, his heart felt trapped in ice. He needed Gray to crack him open and free him from the ice. Stupid snowman! Natsu had felt frigid for six months, and it was all Gray's fault!
"I need him, Loke," he cried, clenching his fists into the suit coat lapels. "I … need him. But my brain … my brain keeps saying I need more partners. I need to see that the triggers are not all Gray. It's that man. It's what he did … wh-what I did. Gray is not the trigger. That past is. I need to see that. I need … I didn't even understand what I needed before, but I think I do now. I need to be triggered, to go through that horror … with someone else. I need to see that it's not just Gray. But I'm scared. I'm so scared," he whimpered. "I've hurt Gray before. Hurt him bad! I could hurt others."
Loke stroked through his soft, pink hair. "At least you can't kill me."
"I guess that's true," Natsu muttered. "You'd just go back to the Spirit World."
"Precisely. So hurt me, if you need to. If it'll get it out of your head and heal your heart, you can reenact everything you did during that time, all of it."
"N-No! No, I … I wouldn't wanna go that far."
Loke tipped Natsu's chin up. Those wet eyes pulled at the heart of the Lion.
"Let me heal you, Natsu."
His mouth dropped. The eyes hidden behind blue-tinted glasses were soft, caring, and gentle. He knew Loke was not doing this out of lust, not like how his relationship with Sting had been. It was also not friends trying to be lovers, like with Lisanna. It was not even the same deep-burning love that bound him and Gray. This was different. Loke was doing this as a friend. Somehow, knowing that made it easier.
Still…
"Not yet," he whispered. "I … like this. Just talking. If we do … that … if it works, I'd want to be just with Gray. If it doesn't work, I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable around you anymore."
"Totally understandable. By healing, I didn't mean sex. You were triggered by other things Gray did, right? Things he'd say."
Natsu scowled and looked away. "Yeah. Never call me boy."
"Then how about we do that? Just that much. We'll work you through that pain first. We'll do it playfully," he grinned. "You call me daddy, and I call you m'boy."
Natsu laughed at the setup. "You're kidding, right?"
"Absolutely not, m'boy."
Natsu flinched a little, yet how Loke said it, it was not so bad. It was not hateful and demeaning. Instead, it was playful, lighthearted, and spirited.
"I won't call you daddy, though," Natsu mumbled. "I only have one dad, and that's Igneel."
"Fine. But can I call you that?"
He pouted. "I guess. It's … only a little bad."
"Then that's the perfect place to start." Loke abruptly stood. "We need dessert. I could use a tiramisu. You?"
"Um … maybe something with cinnamon."
"This place makes a great apple cinnamon streusel galette. Come on, m'boy. We'll eat a bit more."
Natsu slowly raised to his feet. He still felt slight discomfort at being called m'boy, but it was just different enough. Plus Loke said it so playfully. Natsu realized, he could get used to this sort of discomfort. If he heard Loke say that enough times, he could definitely dull the pain.
"Um, Loke?"
The Celestial Spirit hummed. Without warning, Natsu wrapped around his arm, holding onto him in a way that was not quite romantic. There was too much desperation in his gripping fingers.
"Call me that," he said in a quiet yet determined voice.
Loke smiled down at him and stroked through his pink hair again. "Yes, m'boy."
Gray was considering a third cocoa so they could remain in the bakery when he saw a flash of pink across the street. He began to bolt up, but Lucy quickly put a hand on his shoulder.
"You don't want them to know you're this worried, right?" she reasoned.
She had a point, and he sat back down. Seeing Natsu with his arm around another man was … hard … yet fascinating. Was that how cute he looked when Gray took him out? Seeing this from a third-person perspective was interesting, to say the least.
Lucy got a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Loke planned to take Natsu on a walk along the canal and down to the lake. How about we do the same?"
Gray looked over at her in shock. If Natsu saw the two of them together, he would assume they were on a date and get jealous.
Maybe … he needed that. Maybe they both did.
They left the bakery and walked down a side avenue before cutting back across to the main thoroughfare. Gray realized Lucy was walking a bit fast to get in front of Loke and Natsu. Then it would be them coming up and accidentally bumping into him and Lucy.
Natsu was lost in thoughts. Strolling around town with Loke was awkward yet exciting. They were two men dressed to kill, and plenty of people gave them looks. Most of the time, Loke held Natsu's hand, showing they were a couple. Occasionally, he let go, and Natsu could smell that they were coming up to someone they knew. He guessed Loke also had a keen sense of smell, being Leo the Lion, or the ability to sense humans since he was a Celestial Spirit. Either way, he was playing it safe. After all, it was common knowledge by now that he and Lucy were an item. He did not want rumors to tarnish her reputation.
When Natsu smelled Gray, he thought for sure Loke would let go again. When he did not, Natsu began to pull away, yet Loke's hand held his tighter.
"What are you afraid of?" the ginger asked with a glint behind his blue glasses. "He already knows we're going out tonight."
Natsu still cringed. "Can … we not?"
Loke stopped walking and looked down at the perturbed expression. "Are you ashamed?"
"Not that. I don't want Gray to get jealous."
"Gray knows. This is consensual all around."
"Yeah, but still—"
"Natsu," Loke cut in. "If you're not comfortable with this much, you won't be able to do more. We can call the whole thing off right now if you want. Would that be better?" he asked in concern.
Natsu pouted and thought it over. "I … like hanging out with you. I wanna talk more. I … like this much. But Gray—"
"Gray saw you dating Lisanna for months. Were you this bad with her?"
"Sometimes," he admitted.
Loke nodded in understanding. "Let's turn around, then. I'll walk you home."
"N-No," he muttered. "Gray … would be there. Right? If we go through with this, I mean. He … he would be in the same room. With us. Doing … stuff."
Without warning, Loke thrust his fist up, and two sparks of golden light shot into the air. Natsu looked up in surprise. What he did not see was a single pink burst of light in the sky near the harbor.
Gray looked over as Lucy lowered the key that had shot up the light and tucked Loke's key back into her pouch.
"What was that?" he asked.
"A signal. Come on," she said, pulling him forward back up the street at a swift pace.
"Loke?" Natsu asked, confused by the magical light show.
"Distracting you," he said in excuse. "Your mind was drifting somewhere dark, wasn't it?"
Natsu was stunned that he could tell that much.
"Yes, Gray would be there with us, but realize this," he said sternly. "For this to work, all of us have to want it. If you're not comfortable, then it's not the right time. It has to be a hundred percent consensual or it doesn't work. So we won't even think that far ahead yet." Lighter and with a grin, Loke asked, "I want to go on another date with you. What days are you free?"
Natsu blinked in surprise. Another date? He rather liked the idea too. Doing this much was fun. "Um, before Wednesday. Erza said she had something planned for us on Wednesday."
"How about a Monday matinée? We'll watch a movie, any movie you want."
"Can it be that new one about the Exceed robots?" Natsu asked in excitement.
Loke chuckled. He could see why Gray fell so easily in love with this guy, considering how adorable he was when his face lit up like this. "Absolutely!" He reached forward and caressed Natsu's cheek. The Dragon Slayer froze, stunned by the tender touch. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"
Natsu felt amazed, but he had at least kissed other people besides Gray now. "Y-Yeah. That's okay. Just kissing is fine."
Loke snickered softly as he tugged Natsu's chin up. "I think you have a horrible idea of what is considered just kissing. Let me show you how a Lion kisses."
Natsu felt a spiking thrill at his low voice, and a second later, lips were on his. Loke's arms wrapped around him, holding him firmly, pulling Natsu deeper into the kiss. The Dragon Slayer began to feel dizzy, as if Loke's soft lips could stop time.
Gray came to a sharp stop as he saw the two standing under a streetlight. Yellow glow surrounding them, and he saw Natsu's head turned up to the taller man.
Was that how Natsu looked when he was being kissed? It … was really sweet. Natsu looked hot. Seeing Lisanna kiss him had hurt with a dull ache, but watching him with Loke, knowing this was not someone trying to steal away his boyfriend, fascinated a side Gray never knew he had. He could vicariously enjoy simply watching Natsu being pleasured.
"Are you okay?" Lucy asked, watching him with worry.
Gray felt heat in his cheeks. "Definitely," he muttered.
Lucy smiled, held onto his arm, and watched the two. "He's not allowed to kiss someone unless I specifically give him permission."
"The signals earlier," Gray realized.
"Natsu must have needed it." She glanced again at Gray's enthralled face. "You sure seem to like this idea."
Gray shifted on his feet. "Well … I mean, I think it'd be hot. I don't know if I'd want to do this with just anyone, though."
"You trust us?"
He nodded. "I've known Loke for years, since before you joined Fairy Tail. We used to work as partners."
"And you have a history," she pointed out.
Gray made a sniffled cry, shocked she knew about that.
"He's told me about some of his previous partners, at least those I may meet around town. He mentioned you. It seemed he was more of the teacher role than a lover."
"We never had sex," he assured. "A teacher … yeah, something like that. Why are they still kissing?" he grumbled in annoyance.
Lucy focused back on the couple. "Loke never kissed you, did he?"
"I … don't think so."
"Oh, you would remember," she laughed. "It's why I forbid kissing in this arrangement. That guy … no one in the world kisses like him. Sorry to say, but Natsu's going to be demanding in his kisses now."
Gray huffed and folded his arms. "I can kiss just fine."
"Oh?" she smirked. "Prove it."
He looked down at her in shock.
"Go ahead," she said slyly. "Show me what sort of kiss you give to Natsu." She leaned up into his face. "Kiss me like you kiss him."
Gray's cheeks burned. "Lucy!"
"Don't you realize, those two know we're here? Natsu's hearing is insanely good. He can hear every word we say. He's not protesting, either. And Loke is actually watching us. He wants to see me getting kissed. He has a thing for that."
Gray looked over, and sure enough, their kiss had ended. They were not nearby, but he guessed the Dragon and Lion could see them clearly in the dark even without a spotlight on them.
He was on display! In public! Natsu wanted to watch. He thought of all those times Natsu had wanted to watch Gray pleasuring himself. How much different was that from wanting to see Gray finding pleasure with someone else?
He looked back down at Lucy. "Like how I kiss him?" He roughly pulled Lucy in. "I don't kiss gently like Loke."
"Show me," she goaded, pressing her body in closer in a challenge. "I'll decide if you're dominant enough to keep that position when you're with me."
A challenge, huh? Had he and Lucy ever challenged one another? But this was not about magic. It was a challenge between two dominant people.
He grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked her in, claiming her mouth. Instantly, Gray felt her fingers dig into his back. Her nails felt like they would have pierced skin if he was shirtless like usual. He fought back, thrusting his tongue in, and she kissed him with equal aggressiveness. Gray was honestly stunned. All the girls he had dated either kissed timidly while hoping for romance, or sloppily in lust. Lucy kissed like a fighter! He had always feared about getting rough with women, restraining his dominant tendencies around them. He sensed right away, he did not have to hold back at all with Lucy. If he slackened even a little, she would defeat him.
However, as he felt her teeth grab hold of his lower lip, he yanked her head back by the hair, both of them panting heavily.
"Giving up?" she asked haughtily.
"You were about to bite me!"
"So?" she asked.
"Lucy, we're in public," he protested.
Her eyes gleamed sensually as she said again in a low growl, "So?"
He stepped back. "There are some things I won't do in public."
Lucy leaned right up into his face. "Then I look forward to what you do in private." She turned and walked up the street. "Loke, let's go home."
"I'm walking Natsu home."
She stopped, looking stunned. "I see. Well, level two is back to red."
"Understood," he nodded. "Thank you. Come on, Natsu."
He followed along. "Level two? Red? What does she mean?"
Loke smiled to himself as they headed up the avenue. "We have strict rules and levels when it comes to dealing with other people. Level one, flirting, is allowed so long as we tell the other person precisely who we will be flirting with, or do the flirting in front of one another. I will only flirt in front of Lucy or with her permission. She still gets mad sometimes when I flirt randomly and scolds me about it afterward." Quietly, Loke confessed, "Sometimes I flirt with girls in front of Lucy just so she'll punish me later."
Natsu giggled at his wily manners.
"Level two, kissing, is not allowed without consent. Lucy may either okay it, or approve only if she is watching. Level three is intimate and sexual touching, which is not allowed unless she is there. Same goes for level four: sex."
"She … wants to be there?"
Loke chuckled to himself. "She wants to watch. Particularly if she's writing something erotic, she'll order me to do things from the novel and watch so she can write about it later."
"Lucy writes porn?" Natsu cried out.
Loke grinned like a cat. "Since we've begun dating, it's practically all she writes. She's watched me five times. She's never agreed to participate until now."
"But … she did this time. Because of Gray?"
Loke took Natsu's hand again. "Honestly, I think it's because of you."
Natsu's mouth dropped, and he looked away blushing. Because of him? Was Lucy interested in him? Obviously not romantically, but she had been curious what the two guys on her team were like in the bedroom.
They walked all the way out into the woods. As they approached the house, lights were on inside, and Natsu saw Happy's face in the window. Loke walked him to the door.
"Well, I had a wonderful evening," Loke declared.
"Y-Yeah," he muttered, feeling bashful. Gray had never walked him home after a date like this. Natsu had walked Lisanna home a few times, but he had practically grown up with her, hanging out at her house all the time. It was not strange to walk to her house. Being walked to his own was definitely odd.
"So, I'll see you on Monday."
Natsu jolted. "Monday?"
"We're watching a matinée show together, right? Happy can come too, of course." Loke waved to the window where the blue cat sat watching them.
Natsu relaxed to hear that Loke was okay with bringing Happy along. He felt like he needed a chaperon for now, just so he would not feel so awkward. "That sounds great. I'll ask him."
"Natsu?"
A warm hand touched his cheek and turned his face up. Natsu froze and silently stared up at him. Loke began to lean over, and Natsu closed his eyes, expecting another one of those incredible kisses. Instead, something warm touched his forehead. His eyes widened, and he heard the pop of a kiss to his brow. Loke leaned back and smiled in a way that made Natsu's heart race with innocent excitement.
"Sweet dreams." Then Loke faded away in a shower of golden sparkles.
Natsu was left standing on the threshold, staring out at the moonlit forest. That night had been such a simple date, just the right amount of romance without anything remotely sexual. He felt glad to have someone with whom he could talk so openly. He was healing deep scars. This whole thing, all of it, was therapy for his soul.
Telling Loke about his past took an edge off his nervousness. Loke now knew what Natsu was fighting against. He told Loke because he had nothing to lose. If Loke ran off in horror, then that would be the end. Natsu had invested too much time and love into Gray, though. He was terrified of losing Gray completely, and that was why he could not tell him what he remembered about his past.
Loke did not run away, even after hear all of that. The fact that Loke stayed with him despite knowing the damning truth gave Natsu hope. If Loke could still stay with him, maybe Gray would too. He would be shocked, like Loke had been, but maybe Gray could still love him despite the blood on Natsu's hands.
He had hope now, and he had a man he could confide in. Being with Loke was fun. Having someone to flirt with him, compliment him, the little things Loke did, like pulling a chair out for Natsu or kissing his forehead, and the earring! Natsu reached up and touched the jade earring. Such little things, but so romantic! He knew from before Loke arrived that Gray was spying on him, smelling his scent from afar. He hoped Gray watched and learned a few lessons in romance.
Seeing Gray kissing Lucy had been … thrilling. He sometimes wondered how Gray looked when he kissed aggressively. Now he knew, and it was safe because he knew Lucy would not steal him away. Knowing Loke and Lucy were devoted to one another made this whole thing safer. There was no fear that Loke would try to claim him solely like Sting had tried, or pressure about where their relationship should go, like how Mira had constantly hinted about marrying Lisanna. He did not have to worry about Lucy stealing Gray away forever. He was glad he did not know about Gray's other partners during this time apart, and glad Gray had not been dating someone he knew. He could only imagine how painful that must have been, and he felt guilty for putting Gray through that.
But this … this was safer. They all knew their limits. They all agreed and were okay with it.
The door creaked open behind him. "Natsu?" Happy asked in a soft and worried voice.
He jolted out of his thoughts. "Yeah. Sorry, just thinking."
Hesitantly, Happy asked, "Do you … like Loke?"
Like him? He knew what Happy meant. "We're not dating. I told you, it's mock dating. It's like a game, except it's training."
"I know, training for dating, but … do you like him?"
Natsu stared up into the sky. "I'm not in love with him. I only love Gray, and I want to get better so I can be with Gray. Loke is just training me."
"I still don't get it," Happy sighed, and his ears drooped.
Happy had seen how sad Natsu was over these past few months. First was their long trip together. Almost every night, he heard Natsu screaming from nightmares, far worse than those that had plagued him for as long as Happy was alive. He had to comfort Natsu during that time, but nothing he did or said convinced Natsu to tell him about the bad dreams. Happy was shocked when Natsu started to date Lisanna, but he liked his surrogate mother. He remembered how happy the three of them used to be, so he figured it would be good times again. That lasted so briefly. Then Natsu kept sneaking out. Happy knew he was seeing someone, but Natsu never told him who. Now Loke!
Natsu's love life was spiraling out of control without Gray, and Happy hoped whatever was going on now could fix it. Natsu warned him about the date tonight, but he called it a training date. If anyone could train Natsu how to date, it was Loke! Plus Happy liked Loke like an uncle, a "grownup cat." If Loke could train Natsu and get him better so that he and Gray could be in love again, then Happy would support it.
Still, he worried about this. Happy had never heard of someone going out on a date purely for training how to date. Most people just bumbled through dating. He still wished he knew how to get Carla to accept his fish and maybe go on a date with him.
"Will you still want Gray?" he asked.
"I need him," Natsu said without any hesitation. He rubbed his arms and gazed out into the woods. Life was so cold without Gray to hold him. "I … need him," he said softer yet with decisiveness.
Happy pouted but reminded him, "I thought the therapist said something about that."
Natsu frowned. His therapist has said stuff about obsessions, but this felt different. It was not like Juvia stalking Gray and feeling jealous at any potential love rival. It was not like Gray's obsession with sex. Natsu simply felt, deep in his heart, that the only person he could ever love fully and openly was Gray.
Abruptly, he declared, "I'm gonna go for a walk."
"Aye," Happy said, and he went back inside.
Natsu strolled out into the woods. The path was a little more defined now. He had come down here many times. There was a clearing in a dell with a single tree, the place they used when Gray was sick. This little clearing was now his place to escape and think of all the passion he had shared with Gray.
Natsu touched his mouth. Although they had been Loke's lips on him, he had smelled Gray approaching and let his aroma sweep him away, trying to imagine it was him. That was impossible, because Gray absolutely did not kiss like that. Still, he wanted to show Gray. He wanted Gray to watch. He wanted Gray to see for himself that a gentle, lingering, romantic kiss could be nice once in a while.
Then he had watched Gray and remembered the stormy passion. He saw how aggressive Gray could get. It had aroused him far more than he thought it should. After all, that was Gray kissing someone else.
And it was damn hot!
Since he knew those two were not out to claim either himself or Gray, it was okay to let Lucy and Loke kiss them.
Somehow, it was okay.
Natsu touched the trunk of the tree. At some point, maybe out of boredom or loneliness, he had burned into the trunk their initials: ND + GF. He saw lovers do silly things like that. This tree, this entire dell, was special to him now. He wanted to remember that love that was so wild, they had risked getting sick just because they could not keep their hands off from one another.
He wanted passion like that again.
He wanted Gray's hands all over him.
He wanted those cold lips and strong fingers.
"Gray," he whispered, hugging the tree.
He hoped this worked, because life without Gray was miserable.
Somehow, no one in the guild noticed anything about Natsu and Loke. They went on a few more dates, but they only talked. Even when Natsu once tried to kiss Loke, the Celestial Spirit put a finger against those hot lips and eased him back.
"Lucy has strict rules," he would warn.
Hearing that made this whole thing better. Natsu knew Loke was not out to seduce him. He pampered Natsu, spoiled him, and made him blush with romantic compliments. Sometimes he gave a gentle caress, a hug, or held his hand. Yet never did he give a kiss.
Natsu realized he was feeling more comfortable. He could smile easier. His nightmares were not as intense anymore.
"Whatever we're doing," he told Loke after two weeks, "it's helping."
The Lion reached over and squeezed Natsu's hand. "No more flashbacks?"
"Fewer," he shrugged. "Do you think … I mean, Lucy has rules for you," he said awkwardly.
Loke's eyes sharpened, and his fingers squeezed tighter. "Tell me what you want."
Natsu cringed in hesitation. Part of him felt awful for wanting someone besides Gray, and part of him realized that this was healing him. Besides, Gray had suggested Loke, and it was Natsu himself who was hesitating about the inevitable.
"Just a little more," he whispered. "I don't think I could jump into s- … sex, but … a little more."
"Is it okay that Lucy is there?"
Natsu jolted. "Watching?" he squeaked.
"That's normally her rule."
"Th-Then Gray too. I … I feel weird … you and Lucy."
Loke rubbed his arm to calm him. "The four of us, then. Just making out."
Lucy and Gray! Yet if it was all four of them, and he trusted Loke and Lucy, it should be okay. He heard stories about couples who went on double dates, and sometimes that included making out in front of one another. It was a normal thing amongst close friends. Nervously, Natsu nodded.
"Are you certain you want this?" Loke asked sternly.
Natsu gulped and raised his eyes. "My gut is telling me … I need this."
Loke lifted Natsu's hand and gallantly kissed his knuckles. "Saturday?"
Shivering inside, Natsu nodded in agreement.
Loke set down some money to pay for their lunch. "Let's take a walk through the park."
Natsu followed, glad to be out in the sunshine and walking instead of sitting there fretting about what he was asking.
Saturday arrived with Natsu feeling so nervous, even Mira realized he was not eating much.
Would Gray hate him for this? Gray had agreed, but would he truly want it? How did Gray feel about being with Lucy? It was just kissing today, but still!
Natsu arrived at a hotel they were renting for this experiment. Although they planned to only make out, this way no guildmates would barge in and be shocked. Lucy had just gotten a key to the room. She grinned at Natsu, the same as always. It was like she was simply that weirdo Lucy and not someone about to take part in a partner swap.
"I'll call Loke out once we're all in the room," she told him. "We're just waiting for Gray. Do you want to come up to the room now?"
Standing around the hotel lobby got the two of them many raised eyebrows and salacious smiles. Still, Natsu was too nervous to be in the room alone with Lucy. He wanted Gray!
Luckily, Gray arrived a few minutes later. He looked relieved to see Natsu there waiting instead of being alone in a room with Loke and Lucy. The three of them went up to the hotel room, and once inside, Lucy summoned Loke.
"Open the Gate of the Lion! Leo!" she shouted, and he appeared in a burst of golden light. "You are summoned as my Spirit, so you have to obey," she scolded him immediately.
Loke chuckled and gave her a tender kiss. "I will always obey you, my master."
"Remember that!" she scolded. "Remember who your true master is."
Natsu blushed at hearing those two. Could it be Lucy was worried about Loke being with Natsu? And wait … true master? Was Lucy afraid Natsu would try to be a master over Loke? More like the other way around! Natsu did not want Loke to attempt to be dominant over him, anyway. Only Gray! Instinctively, he reached out and grabbed Gray's hand.
Gray squeezed those hot fingers. "You don't have to do anything."
Natsu glanced up at him. "You could stop me. Anything at all, Gray. If you don't like it, stop it."
"The same goes to you," he said. "Safewords apply to both what's happening to you, and what's happening to me. If anything feels wrong, stop it right away."
Natsu nodded in agreement. Not only did he have to be comfortable with Loke, he needed to be comfortable with what Gray was doing.
"Just making out," Loke said lightly. He turned on a music lacrima playing sensual yet soothing music. "Natsu," he said, and he pulled the pink-haired man away from Gray. "Can I kiss you?"
Natsu looked sharply back to Gray, who gave a nod that this much was okay.
"It's just the pleasure of being kissed," Loke said gently, stroking Natsu's face to look up at him. "If there's no pleasure, there's no point. For both of you," he said, glancing to Gray and to Natsu. "If you're displeased, we stop. You two love one another deeply, and this is just sexual. That's a big difference: sex and love. Anyone can have erotic pleasure, but remember: you love one another exclusively." He slid his thumb over Natsu's mouth. "Remember that, and don't think I'm falling in love with you. Lucy is my princess, she gets all of my love, but I can definitely give you pleasure, with her permission."
Lucy smirked over at Loke as she slid up to Gray. "And with yours."
Green eyes gleamed behind blue glasses. "Permission granted, master." He looked down at Natsu and saw desire building in that face. "Pleasure, no strings attached." His fingers threaded through Natsu's hair. "Just making out. For fun."
Loke leaned over and captured Natsu's lips. The Dragon Slayer had to admit, he had been wanting to feel those lips again for two weeks. Loke's kisses were most definitely heavenly.
Gray smiled as he watched. Seeing Natsu enjoying this was … liberating. He knew Natsu had troubles masturbating due to trauma. After six months apart, he must certainly be sexually repressed. Gray could not help relieve his urges, not with Natsu's fragile mental state. Maybe Loke could ease his needs. He sure hoped so.
His thoughts were disturbed by manicured nails caressing his cheek.
"Do you like to watch," Lucy asked in a silky voice, "or do you want pleasure for yourself?"
Suddenly, Lucy was kissing him with that same fierceness as before. It took a moment for Gray to get his balance back after her attack. He kissed her, still amazed that a girl could give such savage kisses. His shirt went flying in no time. However, as Lucy began to bite his lip, he shoved her back.
"Only one man bites me," Gray said sharply.
"Limit noted," she said, not at all perturbed.
She looked eager and hungry. Gray figured, if Natsu was getting kissed, it was okay to be kissed as well. It was all part of the scene. However, Gray was not sure he liked aggressiveness like this. It was okay with Natsu, but it felt awkward with Lucy.
"Show me how he kisses," he said, nodding back to Loke.
Lucy chuckled softly. "You want to learn something like that? You'd have to learn with him." Lucy slid up to Loke and pulled him out of the kiss. "How about you show Gray what to do?"
Loke smiled at the plan. "Show him, eh? Come here, Gray. I never did kiss your lips back when we were together. Oh, but I kissed you in other places," he said slyly.
Gray blushed, remembering the past and how Loke had trained him in many kinks.
"Do you remember how that felt, my mouth on you?" Loke asked, gliding his fingers to the back of Gray's neck. "You used to say you saw stars."
Loke pulled him in and kissed him. Natsu's eyes widened as he watched them. The kiss he had just experienced was now being shared with Gray. His mouth dropped at seeing Gray being overwhelmed by such a simple thing like a kiss.
Lucy stepped up beside him. "What are you thinking?"
He whispered in awe, "I wanna kiss him like that."
Loke pulled back and smiled at the eager Dragon Slayer. "Then try it."
Gray and Natsu looked at one another in shock. This was supposed to be a partner swap!
Lucy tugged on Gray's arm to pull him in. "There are no rules that you can't kiss each other."
Loke pushed Natsu's back, urging him forward. "Try to give one another the same kiss."
Natsu's cheeks burned hotter. Having just kissed Loke, and now Gray! It was thrilling. He wanted to compare Gray's kiss to Loke's. For the first time in months, he felt a nervous thrill at the thought of kissing Gray.
Gray felt a little pressured. Loke was an expert kisser, there was no question about that. He had seen Natsu's reaction to his kisses, like he was melting. He wanted to give Natsu that same thrill, but Gray was not into romantic stuff normally.
Lucy leaned into his ear. "Don't think. Just kiss him."
Gray gulped. Romance was Natsu's department, not his! But wasn't that part of the problem? Natsu had wanted romance, and Gray had kept pushing them into kinks, sometimes against Natsu's will.
He needed to show Natsu, it was not just about sex and kinks.
He needed to show Natsu the emotion he could not speak aloud.
He wrapped his arms around that hot body, kissed him, and instinct took over from there. He craved Natsu! He needed him with a desperation that was almost painful. Natsu's mouth was gentle and fiery and delicious.
"Softer, Gray," Loke urged quietly.
Right! A soft kiss. A gentle kiss. A romantic kiss. A kiss that showed his love.
He held Natsu with less possessiveness and more cradling. His mouth softened, trying to mimic Loke's kiss. He heard Natsu hum with delight, but his instincts were to claim those hums, drive them into moans, make him snarl in passion.
"Gentle," Loke schooled. He pulled Gray back, leaving Natsu flushed with moist lips. "Do it like this."
Suddenly, Gray was being kissed again by Loke. It was so soft, yet made him feel like falling and floating at the same time.
Natsu snapped out of his daze and saw Loke dominating Gray's mouth. It was hot! So damn hot!
Loke pulled back with a smug look. "Now, try again."
Gray was slightly breathless. How could he ever hope to mimic kisses like that?
"Maybe I should try."
Gray jolted, but before he could gasp, Natsu's lips were on him.
And damn it, but it was just like how Loke kissed, only fiery with that cinnamon taste he loved. As Natsu conquered his mouth with gentleness, Gray felt his knees weakening. He was going to fall, but Natsu's arms held him tighter. Gray felt himself sinking into that kiss.
He saw stars! Not like with Loke, though. Fiery stars! Comets and supernovas as his whole world melted in heaven's flames. He wanted to melt with it, melt into Natsu's passionate kiss, to thaw, diffuse, blend, and be as one: celestial fire and infernal ice.
Lucy sighed at seeing this professed dominant being conquered by a single kiss. Amateur! "We need the bed before poor Gray falls over."
Loke brought the two over to the mattress. They sat up against the headboards, and Lucy climbed on top of Gray while Loke settled over Natsu. Both began to kiss their partners.
Gray was getting overwhelmed by Lucy's strawberry fragrance and feminine kisses, much softer now, no longer trying to bite his lips. He heard an aroused groan of Natsu's mouth against Loke's. Suddenly, he felt scalding fingers brush against him. He and Natsu held hands while Lucy and Loke kissed them.
Then the blonde and ginger pulled back, smiled at each other, and kissed together. When they did that, Gray reached over, turned Natsu's head, and kissed him.
Natsu was too sensually overwhelmed to even think about the past. It was Gray's mouth, then Loke's again, and at one point he realized they were Lucy's lips. He was kissing Lucy!
All the smells, all the tastes, three different types of kisses, were getting to him. Even when Loke moved on top of him and brushed firmly against his groin, Natsu felt no panic. Lucy took Gray's hand and moved it to touch Natsu's tenting bulge. Natsu groaned with pleasure from Gray's familiar chill and Lucy's scratching nails as they both stroked him. Natsu was getting more aroused as he felt all the differences in the touches.
Lucy leaned up. At some point, Gray had removed her shirt, leaving her in a blue bra, her miniskirt hiked up so high her matching underwear was completely visible. Gray's pants had vanished, and an erection strained against the black boxers.
"Well," Lucy chuckled, shifting over Gray's erection and lightly scratching his bare chest. "I think we're going past merely making out."
"Just going along with the mood," Loke said in agreement, sliding his hips over Natsu's groin. "The mood is really good too."
"What do you two say?" she asked, looking at both of them.
Natsu looked over to Gray and saw him staring back. The mood really was good. It was far better than Natsu thought it would be.
"I … I need to see," Natsu stuttered, gripping Gray's hand for support. "I need to know if I'll panic. What's okay, what's not."
Gray squeezed his hand back and nodded. "As far as you need, I'll allow it."
Tears beaded up in Natsu's eyes. Gray was being so generous, letting him heal although it meant getting help from someone else.
Loke lay down beside Natsu. "What triggers you?"
Natsu's heart raced, thinking about those dark moments. Lucy politely climbed off the bed and went aside while Gray rolled over to stroke the pink hair in comfort.
"Being gagged," Natsu said, gulping hard. "Hands around my throat. Being called boy. Entering someone has always been difficult. I … I can't … come into anything. Condoms, a sex toy, an ass, anything that might … collect my cum."
Lucy looked over sharply when he said that. "Even a vagina?"
Natsu blushed heavily at the blunt question. "When Gray was under the gender-changing spell, that was my first time trying a vagina. It was a little easier, but I still couldn't come inside."
"A mouth?" she asked next.
"Only if you swallow," Natsu answered. "It can be out, or swallowed, but that's all. It needs to be unusable."
Unusable? To Lucy, that sounded like a whole major issue with extremely dark potential. "Well, if it's in an ass, you can't use it anymore," she reasoned.
"I know!" snapped Natsu. "Gray's told me that before. I still can't. Believe me, I wish I could."
"You can't come in Gray's ass?" Loke asked.
Natsu shook his head. "I can barely handle having him ride on top of me. Lately, blow jobs have been out of the question. I can give them, but … I can't … I can't put it into someone's mouth. Not unless they take me by force."
"By force?" Lucy asked in concern.
"Or at least restrain me," he clarified. "If they're sucking me, that's okay, but … I can't … make them take it."
Gray explained, "The last time I gave him a blow job, I was pinning him down. Before that, I wanted him to … um … face-fuck me…"
"And I panicked," Natsu admitted. "Badly. When I was with Sting as well—"
"Sting!" Lucy cried out.
"Ah! That's a secret," he added quickly.
Lucy bit her lip and simpered at the mental image of those two sexy Dragon Slayers together.
"Anyway, he … tried … a few times. I began to panic, and he handcuffed me to the bed. It was the only way I could do it. I … I can't…" Natsu flinched as he merely thought about it.
"Can't what, precisely?" Loke asked, looking concerned but thoughtful.
Natsu glowered and kept his head turned aside. Any arousal he had was quickly withering with the discussion. How could he say it? "I … can't … enter something … take something."
He hugged his arms with a shiver of nightmares. Gray began to reach out to him, but Natsu pulled away, leaning into Loke instead. Gray jolted back that he was turning to someone else. Lucy walked up to him and placed a hand on Gray's shoulder, showing him that this had to happen. Natsu was obviously in a fragile state. He knew turning to Gray in the past had not helped, so he was simply trying something new. That's what this was all about, after all: healing this pain. It was so deep, so dark, Gray alone was not enough.
"I told you what I did," Natsu whispered shakily to the Celestial Lion.
"Does it have to do with … him?"
Gray jolted as soon as he heard that. Him! That man in the past! Had Natsu actually told Loke everything?
Natsu nodded, curling into Loke like a child. "And what happened … afterward."
Gray tensed more, and Lucy hugged around him to make sure he did not interfere.
"Then I get it," Loke whispered sadly. "Do you want help with that?"
Natsu sat still for a long time, just staring ahead. Finally, distantly and sadly, he began to say, "I do, but I could—"
"You can't kill us," Loke said firmly. "If it's all three of us, we can definitely stop you. If it's at all bad, tell us to stop. Don't push it, not even a little bit."
"I want to push it!"
"Not this time, Natsu," Loke said sternly. "We can ease into this. I'm not chancing having you traumatized worse." He smoothed down Natsu's hair. "We're here to heal the scars, not open more wounds. Let's see if we can help you with this, but if it's too much, we need to stop. Lucy?"
"Agreed. Natsu, you come over here. Remove your clothes."
Natsu walked over to a chair she stood by, obediently undressed, and sat down. Lucy pulled out two leather belts and wrapped them over Natsu's arms and the chair's armrest.
"This is only because it's our first time trying it," she told him.
"What are you gonna do?" he asked, feeling safer restrained, but also weird that it was Lucy tying him down.
"Just a little vicarious play," she smiled. "I really wish I could watch you," she said to Loke.
"You'll have your chance, my sweet master," he chuckled. "Gray, remove your clothes too, and lie back comfortably. Natsu." He smirked over to the Dragon Slayer tied to a chair. "Watch us!"
Natsu felt his heart race. Watch them? Loke and Gray?
Gray shifted his hips up to remove his underwear and dropped it over the side of the bed. He eyed Loke as he unbuttoned his shirt, wondering what he planned to do. He hoped Natsu would enjoy watching it, but mostly he hoped it would help. Nothing he had thought up in all the months they had been dating helped Natsu fully. It merely lessened the fears and pain of the past. As Gray settled back against the pillows fully nude, he glanced over to Natsu.
Tied up to a chair! Damn! Being forced to watch him with someone else. Gray's sadistic side boiled at the idea of tormenting Natsu this way. He could watch, but not participate. He hoped Natsu enjoyed the show.
"Gray."
The blue eyes turned up into narrow green eyes hidden behind glasses.
"Keep your focus on me," the shirtless Lion suggested, and he slithered down to Gray's groin.
"Whoa!" Gray cried out, shocked they were starting this so quickly. As he felt Loke's mouth on him, he tensed up. It had been so long since someone did this. The two random girls he had over the past six months had failed to pleasure him. If it had been just him and Loke, he probably still would not have been able to enjoy it, racked with guilt, wanting Natsu's mouth instead. However, simply knowing that Natsu was watching him aroused Gray, tingling his exhibitionist side. He wanted Natsu to watch him.
Natsu had worried how he might feel, watching Gray with someone else. Just kissing was one thing, but he thought that seeing Gray being pleasured by another would anger him.
Instead, he felt aroused, yet guilty. He was the one who left Gray. He was the one unable to do this without panicking. So watching Loke being the one to give Gray what he wanted made Natsu wish he was better. He wanted, so desperately, to be healed so he could give Gray the pleasure he desired.
"Are you okay?" Lucy asked, kneeling in front of him and looking up with concern in her large brown eyes.
"I want him to feel pleasure," Natsu said, watching Gray panting as he grabbed a handful of orange hair and thrust Loke's head deeper. "I just wish it was me."
"You want to touch him?" she asked, stroking up and down Natsu's thighs.
Natsu squirmed at her touches. "Of course I do."
"Do you like licking him … like this?" Lucy's tongue dragged up Natsu's length.
Natsu gasped in shock, followed by a low groan. Looking over to the bed, he saw Loke doing the same thing to Gray.
It felt like that! When he was the one doing it to Gray, it felt just like what was now happening to him.
"You like to touch him too, right?" Lucy asked slyly.
Her hands stroked him, and Natsu watched as Loke changed from sucking Gray to jerking his cock. They were timing their actions to one another. What Lucy did, Loke did. Natsu realized, what he was experiencing was exactly what Gray was feeling.
"Do you like to watch?" Lucy asked, stroking and sucking the head of his cock. "I bet you love to watch Gray touching himself and denying you."
Natsu moaned and curled up his toes. He did! Their second night together, that was exactly what he asked Gray to do, to masturbate while on top of him.
"What do you want to do to him, Natsu?" she asked.
What he wanted to do? Gray's eyes turned over to him, hazy and curious in lust.
"I want to pleasure him," he whispered. "In any way. Any way I can!" Natsu's gaze dropped to the side in disappointment, knowing he was not stable enough to do all he wanted.
Lucy leaned into his ear. "Do you want to screw him?"
Natsu sharply looked at her.
"You do, right?" she reasoned. She reached down and began to stroke Natsu again. "You want in his ass."
"I … I can't," Natsu said with a cringe.
"Then watch," she whispered soothingly. She glanced back to Loke. He was looking over at her, and Lucy gave him a nod to show she was okay with this.
Loke unzipped his pants. "Just to assure you, Celestial Spirits do not get human viruses," he told Gray.
The ice wizard sputtered in shock.
"Is this okay, Gray?"
Gray looked over to Natsu. The Dragon Slayer looked fascinated, so Gray realized this was fully up to him. He had to admit, he used to be curious about just how good Loke was at sex, considering his talents in other fields.
"It's okay," he consented.
Lucy casually stroked Natsu as they both watched. "You want to touch him inside, right?" she asked, watching Loke drizzle lube onto his fingers. "You like touching Gray's ass, I bet. That much is safe."
Loke pressed a finger in, and Gray let out a wanton cry. Natsu's hands tensed. He remembered how that felt, thrusting up into Gray's body.
"I bet it's good," Lucy purred. She took the belted-down hand and sucked two of Natsu's fingers. She hummed around him, and Natsu groaned. "Mmh, you love thrusting into his ass."
As he watched Gray moaning, Natsu's hand moved, going deeper into Lucy's mouth. He wanted it! He wanted to remember how it felt.
Loke asked softly, "Are two fingers okay?"
Gray nodded frantically. He felt himself being widened slightly, and another groan shivered out.
"Yes," Natsu hissed. Lucy was slurping around his fingers. He could imagine that mouth as something else, something tighter.
Lucy pulled back and licked her lips. "You want more, right? Something better?"
She untied one of the belts around Natsu's arm, moved his hand down with his palm up and two fingers ready. Then Lucy climbed onto Natsu's lap. Slowly, she lowered herself over his hand, sliding onto the fingers.
Natsu looked at her in awe. He remembered how Gray had felt under the gender-changing spell. Lucy was even more moist, so soft and warm inside. Her face began to blush as she rocked on him. Natsu stared at her in amazement
He was giving pleasure to someone!
His hand began to move, fingers curling and stroking inside. Lucy gasped as he brushed over a spot inside. Natsu could smell her femininity, the scent of lust increasing, while his hand got more wet from her.
"Watch him," she told Natsu.
He shook his head, keeping his eyes on Lucy's face. "I want to watch you, Lucy."
Her dominant demeanor broke for a moment as those sharp eyes gazed like a predator of the night. Curious, she undid the other belt, completely freeing Natsu. His arm went around her, pulling her in closer, and his eyes narrowed more as his fingers claimed her.
"I want to make you wet," he growled, thrusting in three fingers now, getting her to shiver. "Wanna make you moan!"
Gray looked over, watching them. He had seen Natsu look like that when he was under that spell.
Did he get more confidence with women?
No…
No, this was darker.
"Lucy," he said softly. "Back away."
Lucy looked to the bed in confusion, then back to Natsu. He looked enthralled and wild, growling as he thrust at her.
"Trust me. Back … away."
She pulled back and got off of Natsu's lap. If Gray was seeing something wrong … well, these two knew each other best.
"Loke…"
The Lion pulled his fingers out and moved aside, sensing the tension in Gray's body.
Gray watched, but Natsu's eyes never left Lucy's face. He was leering at her like a starved predator, and Lucy instinctively trembled at the glint in his eyes. She saw it now. Definitely, this was not the normal Natsu. This was something darker, something not-Natsu looking out from those narrow eyes.
"Natsu?"
He still looked covetously at Lucy, breathing hard, almost growls, like he was ready to attack.
"Come over here," Gray ordered in a calm but stern voice.
Natsu seemed to crack out of a spell. As he did, fear and doubt entered his face. He looked down at his hand, still wet from Lucy.
"Come here!" Gray said sharper.
"Gray," Loke scolded.
"Trust me, he's not in his right mind. I've seen him like this."
Sure enough, Natsu began to tremble. "It's happening again." He rubbed out his forehead as darkness clouded his vision. "Gray?"
He felt Lucy pulling him, and he followed while flashes of memories returned to him. He was gently guided down onto the bed. Loke backed off, and Gray pulled Natsu close to him. He caressed Natsu's arms and stroked his head, comforting him and keeping him in the present.
"Let's stop here," Gray whispered, holding Natsu protectively.
"No," Natsu snapped. "I just … got lost for a moment."
Loke looked over to Lucy, who was equally confused.
"Can I try again?" Natsu asked timidly. "But with Gray here?"
Lucy looked over to Gray, who nodded. If Natsu began to lose his sense of reality again, he would recognize it right away.
Lucy climbed on top of Natsu and let his fingers slide into her. She hummed, loving the heat of his hand.
"How about both of you?" she smirked.
Loke took Gray's hand and pulled it over to Lucy. "Try it. She feels really good, believe me!"
Gray's hand rubbed against Natsu's. They looked at each other, then each pressed two fingers inside of Lucy.
"Oh yes!" she moaned at the wide penetration. "Oooh! Hot and cold. That's … nngh … so good."
Loke climbed up behind her to fondle her breasts and nip along her neck. "You are so sexy, master. So sensual."
"Loke," she mewled. "Treat … treat them. So good!"
"I'll reward them for making my master moan so deliciously. Gray, get closer. Why not practice those kisses again? Keep Natsu in the moment."
Gray nodded in understanding. His job was to watch over Natsu while these two healed him. He knew Natsu best. He knew the signs of him being triggered or having a flashback. He caressed Natsu's cheek, pulled his face over, and kissed him while their hands worked together on Lucy.
Suddenly, Gray felt Loke's fingers slide back inside of him, followed by a loud moan from Natsu. By the pitch of that cry, he knew Loke must be fingering Natsu's ass as well.
"Do you like that, Natsu?" Lucy asked, panting as she moved her hips on their conjoined hands. "Fingering while getting fingered. Loke's hands are highly talented. He knows…"
Natsu cried out and arched with intense pleasure. A second later Gray felt sparks all through his body, and his groan was just as loud, only deeper.
"Yes, he knows just where to hit." Lucy chuckled shrewdly. "Look at you two! I finally get to have you. Do you have any idea how many nights I dreamed about getting the two of you into my bed?"
Both were surprised, but the boys had to admit, they had fantasies about Lucy at some point. Those fantasies sometimes included all four on the team, with Erza being more bossy. Instead, it was Lucy who figuratively held the whip … and she looked pleased at the opportunity to take charge.
Loke grunted as he being denied pleasure so far. "Master?"
"You can wait," she scolded, and Loke groaned with a blush.
"You're a masochist?" Natsu asked in shock.
"And she's an incredible dominatrix," Loke purred. "Or at least, she's training to get better."
"Hush, you," Lucy demanded softly.
"Order them, master," he requested.
"Oh? Do you want me to order both of them to pleasure you?" she asked haughtily. "In that case…" She picked up the free hands of both partners and placed them on her supple breasts. "I'll take even more. Let's see which one of you is better."
A competition! Gray cooled off his fingers until they smoked with ice, and he lightly pinched Lucy's nipple. She groaned at the feeling. Natsu took to kneading her entire breast, warming his hand and massaging until Lucy trembled.
"Yes!" she whimpered. "Yes, that's … so good. So … o-oh!"
They both felt Lucy clench on them, and she thrust on them faster, crying out as her body rocked hard.
"Gray," she whimpered. "N-Natsu!" Her thighs tensed and her spine arched. Suddenly, Loke wrapped her up in his arms, holding her from behind. She leaned back into him, and he kissed her deeply as Lucy spasmed in pleasure.
"Oh, wow," Natsu whispered, feeling the twitching contractions on his finger.
Gray watched her in awe. "Damn, Lucy, you're beautiful."
"Gray," Natsu whispered, and they looked at one another while Loke kissed the blonde. "We just got Lucy off."
He laughed. They had! Together, they let her feel such deep pleasure. Maybe they were both fucked up in the head in their own ways, but together they could give pleasure this intense.
Loke pulled Lucy back, off of their hands, and to the foot of the bed, holding her protectively. "If you don't mind, I always hold her afterward. You two can make out if you want."
Gray chuckled at how blasé he said that. Like this, with the four of them, sex was just a physical response. It was human pleasure, pure and simple. Love, though … he saw the love between Loke and Lucy in this weak moment, how she clung to him, how he smiled endearingly at her. They were so close as a couple, so deeply in love, yet understanding to one another's needs.
He wanted a romance like that! He wanted to love Natsu that deeply.
"Gray."
He looked over and saw Natsu gazing at him with the same thoughts.
"Forgive me," he whispered, looking anguished as the months weighed down on him. "I never stopped loving you."
Gray grabbed Natsu's face, clutching at both cheeks. His lower lip quivered. He wanted to declare it all, say it as he had practiced on his own. Yet seeing Natsu's eyes, he could not chance the worst, not after what happened to everyone else to whom he had ever said those three words.
"Same," he blurted out quietly instead, shaking inside to say even this much. "I … never … stopped." It was the best he could do.
That much was plenty for Natsu. An exuberant grin burst out, and he pounced on Gray, knocking him back onto the pillows while kissing him with passion.
Maybe the kisses that mimicked Loke were nice, but these were the fiery kisses Gray missed. Natsu's whole body surged on him, sliding against him in unbridled desire. His fingers clutched possessively, and a low growl deep in his throat sent Gray's pulse racing.
Lucy curled into Loke's arms as she watched the two. Natsu was as aggressive as she had always imagined he would be. To learn that he was a masochist had stunned her, yet now he proved he was no wuss in the bedroom. He was a dragon, but one that feared his own claws.
Loke whispered into her ear, "Should we…?"
She held up a hand to silence him. She wanted to watch for now. She had seen them kiss and heard their sexual play before when they were all prisoners in that harem room. Now she wanted to watch her teammates touching each other everywhere.
Gray grabbed Natsu's hips and pulled him closer as their cocks rubbed together. As much as he wanted to flip him, pin him down, and take him, he also wanted Natsu to pick the pace that was most comfortable. Gray feared that if he did or said anything wrong, Natsu would panic again. He just wanted to enjoy what he could for now, deprived of his fire dragon and the sensuality of this body.
The yearning way Natsu gazed at him between kisses, he obviously had missed this as well.
Yet, in the midst of it, Natsu leaned up, elbows straight ahead of him, and panted hard as he looked down at Gray. His eyes craved more, yet Gray saw the tremble of fear in his lips.
"What is it?" Gray asked in concern.
Natsu gulped hard. "I want … but I'm scared."
Lucy immediately climbed over to them and urged him, "What do you want?"
Natsu jolted, almost forgetting that they were not alone. He looked back down to Gray with trepidation and sadness. "I just want to be normal, to make love to him … normal."
Gray looked aside. Normal? They had never been normal, or rarely. How often had they had sex with no kinks whatsoever? How many times had they done anything normal? With Natsu needing to be restrained, even otherwise simple lovemaking ended in bondage. More often than not, fetishes and kinks were involved more than sex.
Gray was reminded of Natsu's shouted words.
"Gray, do you hate romance? … Why can't we have a simple, romantic day together? You keep pushing our limits, always pushing. Don't you think that maybe I'm not ready for this stuff? … Keep your goddamn kinks to yourself! I don't want them anymore. … I don't think either one of us can just kiss. Not when it comes to us."
Lucy hugged Natsu from behind and looked sorry for him. "It won't be normal this time either."
"I know," Natsu whispered in disappointment.
"Do you know what normal is?" she asked.
Natsu bark out a dry laugh. "No clue."
She tugged him around and crawled over the mattress to face him directly. "Normal is whatever you personally want."
"I don't know what I want," he shouted in frustration. "That's part of the whole problem. I don't know!"
She rubbed his arms to calm him. "Then how about we give you different tastes of what it is to be normal."
Natsu arched an eyebrow. "Different … tastes?"
Lucy dropped down, stroked his withering arousal back to full, and licked him. "Different tastes," she smirked, and suddenly her mouth was around him.
Natsu gasped and moaned. Lucy's mouth felt so tight and small. She could not go deep on him, but her delicate, soft hands rubbed what did not fit in her mouth. Her hands were incredible, caressing so smoothly, no calluses. Natsu looked down at her with flushed cheeks and stroked her golden hair.
Not even two minutes passed before she raised up and wiped her mouth. "Now Gray," she stated.
"What?" Natsu squeaked.
Immediately, Gray's hands grabbed Natsu's ass. He pulled him in as his mouth devoured the thick arousal. Lucy's taste was still on it, and Gray sucked it away, wanting just the taste of Natsu again.
"Oh! Oh God, Gray!" Natsu shouted. He clenched at Gray's hair, pulling it, unlike how tenderly he had treated Lucy. "Ahh! Wait, wait!"
Lucy licked up the back of his neck and held him around the chest, staying behind him. "You're not fucking his face. You're being devoured."
Natsu shivered at her words. Devoured! Gray was starving, forced to go so long without pleasure. Now, he was ravenous, taking Natsu while Lucy held him like a prisoner. Her arms wrapped around him made him feel like she was forcing him … forcing him to stay still while Gray sucked him. His thighs began to tremble.
"Loke," Lucy ordered next.
The ginger pulled Gray back and smirked as he licked Natsu's length. "I've been wanting to taste this for some time."
Natsu snapped out of his daze. "Wait!" Loke did not listen, though. He slammed Natsu straight back and down his throat. The Dragon Slayer clenched hard into something … fluffy. He looked down, saw the orange hair, and loosened his fingers.
"Oh, you don't have to be gentle with him," Lucy chuckled. "Loke likes it when you play with his hair." She reached down and stroked the tufts sticking up. "Isn't that right, my horny Lion?"
In response, Loke began to purr. Natsu yelped at the vibration.
"He's good, isn't he?" Lucy chuckled. "Really, that purring is the best thing in the world."
"G-Gray!" Natsu whined.
Immediately, Gray's mouth was kissing him as Natsu shivered. Natsu's brain was scrambling, trying to sort things out. Suddenly, another mouth was on him, another taste, and he realized it must be Lucy. Then there was a different taste on his lips, and he recognized Loke's incredible kisses.
"It's less scary this way, right?"
Lucy's voice! So who was sucking him now? The smells and tastes were starting to blend together.
"It's less scary with someone else, just like I'm less scared when one of you goes on a mission with me. This is just like a mission," she whispered, caressing his body. "Only, it's not against bandits or demons. It's against the monsters in your heart."
Just like a mission! All four of them were on a team mission. They were in the midst of battle. Natsu protected his friends when on missions. He … needed to protect his friends!
"Touch me, Natsu."
He looked over to Lucy in confusion. She took his hand, brought it down between her legs, and pressed two of his fingers against her.
"Touch me," she whispered, demanding and sensual.
Gulping with lust, he let his fingers slide back inside. It was so wet, so soft. Lucy moaned, and Loke raised up, enthralled by her voice. He grabbed her breasts, fondling them while Natsu's fingers pump inside her.
"So good," Lucy groaned. "But … no." She pulled Natsu's hand away. "Gray." She waved him over and shifted to the side. "Finger him, Natsu. Just like you did to me."
Gray and Natsu faced each other. Then Gray turned around, leaned over with his butt in the air, and presented his ass to Natsu. With Lucy's wetness on his fingers, Natsu slid inside Gray's ass. He was still loosened from Loke's fingering, and he only groaned softly at the touch.
"Gray," Natsu moaned. His fingers sought him out, gradually thrusting harder and faster.
Lucy's hand grasped his wrist and pulled him back. "Do Loke now," she whispered. She tugged Natsu over, and he saw Loke already bent over, lube on his ass, ready for him. Natsu gulped, feeling hard at experiencing the same thing over and over. Different bodies, different smells, different mentalities, comparing them, sensing similarities and differences. His hand worked out Loke, who loosened up surprisingly quick.
"Mmh, I've never seen you get it up the ass, Loke," Lucy said, nibbling her lower lip. "Gray, would you be okay fucking Loke?"
"I'm willing to do other stuff besides penetration," Gray told her.
"Good enough. There's a dildo in my bag. Pleasure him with it. Natsu, lie back."
Natsu pulled out of Loke and obeyed her orders. He rested his head on the pillows. While Gray dug around for the dildo, Loke fetched a wet cloth and began to wash Natsu's fingers. After they were wiped clean, he kissed the back of Natsu's hand.
"I can see why my master likes your fingers so much. I wouldn't mind more."
Lucy pulled him back by the hair. "Gray, tame my wildcat before he gets too horny."
Loke chuckled and dropped to his hands and knees as Gray returned with the dildo. "I believe I was the one who had to show you how to use one of these on an ass," he said to Gray. "Let's see how you've improved."
Meanwhile, Lucy straddled right over the Dragon Slayer's face. "I want you to lick me, and I better enjoy this."
Hearing her order him like that made Natsu tingle. Uncertainly, his tongue reached out. He tasted Lucy, and he gasped in surprise. Her scent inundated his nose.
"Do it," she demanded.
Natsu licked again. It was sweet, sensual. It took only seconds before he buried his mouth into her, licking, thrusting his tongue inside, wanting all of that taste.
Lucy cried out, honestly stunned at that fiery mouth. "Oh God, Loke, I think he has you beat!" she cried out, and Lucy whimpered.
"Same here," Loke panted as Gray slid the dildo in and out while stroking Loke as well. "Gray, you've gotten good … ahhhn … damn good!"
The room filled with panting and moans from Lucy and Loke as both were pleasured. Gray glanced back at Natsu, but he could hardly see the Dragon Slayer's face from between Lucy's thighs. However, he saw the erection sticking up stiff and dripping. Natsu was at least enjoying this.
Lucy shuddered hard. "Ooh … N-Natsu, don't stop. Whatever I do, don't stop!"
He hummed in understanding. He could smell it easily. Lucy was close again. He was giving her pleasure. Gentle pleasure. Was this normal? He could pretend it was. He could close his eyes, fondle her breasts, forget that there were two other men in the room, and imagine this was normal, just him and Lucy.
"A-Ah! Natsu!"
Just them. Normal.
Loke moaned loudly. "Dear stars, Lucy, you're so beautiful. I … I can't … may I, master?" he begged.
"Yes, Loke. It's okay. Gray?"
"I'll take care of him."
Natsu heard Loke shout louder. Gray was pleasuring him this intensely. Natsu smirked, knowing how good Gray was with dildos and butt plugs. Loke's grunts grew deeper, feral, and Natsu smelled when he came. Even though Loke had been flirting with him for weeks, he was glad it was Gray doing that. Gray knew what felt best.
"N-Natsu! Natsuuuu!"
Lucy's muscular thighs threatened to crush the sides of his head. Natsu felt nothing unusual, yet he heard her breath hitch, felt muscles twitching in her thighs, and smelled that sensual aroma soaring. He heard her cries, moans, and then weary sighs. Just as she began to collapse onto his face, Loke yanked Lucy away and held her as if she was the most precious thing in the world.
"Thank you, Natsu. Thank you!" he whispered, hugging Lucy and stroking back her sweaty hair. "That was glorious, master. You were so breathtaking, I couldn't last long at all watching you."
She leaned into Loke and let him spoil her. "Gray," she called out weakly. "You're one lucky guy. Loke, you have your work cut out for you, trying to beat that."
"Well, I'm curious now," Loke said with a smirk. "Are you okay, master?"
Lucy stood up, wobbling on her feet. "I need water. Loke, let Natsu show you what he can do. You'll be envious of Gray for the rest of your life."
"Definitely curious now," Loke said, climbing over the tussled bed while Lucy fetched water. "How about it, Natsu? Are you okay with a little rimming?"
Natsu was in an utter daze. Gray pulled him up and got him onto his hands and knees while Loke bent over.
"Wait," Lucy said, watching the three men. "Gray, you rim Natsu while he treats my pet. Yes," she smirked. "I want to watch all three of you."
Gray chuckled to himself. He remembered the first time he rimmed Natsu. It was their first night together, and the bastard had laughed at him about kissing his ass. Now Natsu looked almost drugged with lust. There would be no laughing, not when his mouth was busy on Loke.
"Lick his ass, Natsu," Gray ordered as he spread Natsu's butt cheeks and gave him a lick.
Natsu trembled as Gray's mouth went on him. He obeyed and pressed his tongue into Loke, just like he had done to Lucy. Instantly, the Lion let out a loud moan of pleasure.
Lucy sipped her glass of water and watched them. "Is it good, boys?"
Natsu's fingers tensed and clawed into Loke's hips at the name. Boys!
"My three boys," she said again.
She knew this was an issue with Natsu. She hoped that including all of them in that dreaded name would lessen the negative effects. Considering Natsu only flinched the first time, and he had no reaction at all the second time, she figured it was working. Erza called Gray and Natsu boys all the time, especially while scolding them. Having someone call only him that name triggered Natsu's bad memories, but apparently not when addressed amongst other males.
Lucy walked to the nightstand and pulled on a latex glove. "My good boys are obeying, but poor Gray isn't getting pleasure. How about it, boy?" she asked him as Gray was busy with Natsu's ass. She drizzled some lube onto her gloved fingers. "A little pleasure for you as well."
Her finger slid inside, and Gray moaned. That vibrated Natsu's ass, and he let out a huff of hot air, which burned on Loke's ass and made him moan loudly.
"Oh, this is perfect," Lucy chuckled, fingering Gray. "All three of you, listening to me! I definitely like this."
Loke looked around his shoulder to her. "Is my master pleased with the partner swap?"
"It's much more than that now, isn't it?" she chuckled. Rather than a direct swap, to Lucy it looked more like an orgy. "But I do like it. I wasn't sure about this, but … it's nice, taking charge of all of you."
Natsu raised up and looked to her. "Since when were you a sadist?"
"I'm a dominant more than a sadist. And you stopped without my permission." Lucy smirked slyly. "Punishment time for disobeying me."
"Lucky," Loke whispered.
"Loke, you get to do the work for me this time."
"Oh, with pleasure, my master," Loke said eagerly.
"Natsu stand at the foot of the bed, and bend over just the top of your body. Loke, I brought my old whip. Not too hard on him." Lucy suddenly thrust two fingers into Gray and leaned over him as he panted. "Watch him, Gray. Watch your dragon being tamed by someone else. You never get to just watch when you're the one doing it, so enjoy it now. Watch him. Listen to his cries."
Gray felt almost at his limit. Still, he looked up as Natsu settled over the mattress with his feet on the ground. He rested on his elbows and looked straight ahead at Gray's flushed face, panting as Lucy fingered him.
"Show me, Natsu," he whispered, gulping hard.
Natsu warily reached forward. Gray immediately took up his hand, squeezing it as Natsu prepared for his punishment.
The whip cracked, and Natsu's mouth dropped in a loud gasp, belatedly followed by a shout of pain. His head dropped as his ass burned, but he forced himself to look up again at Gray.
Gray was awestruck by Natsu's reactions to the whip. Although he had seen and delivered similar blows, he never got to fully watch. He had always needed to focus on where he was hitting so he would not strike Natsu somewhere that could damage him. Whipping and paddling needed precision, and that meant he could not watch the full expressions on his face.
They heard the whip whistle through the air a split second before it struck. Natsu screamed immediately this time. Gray grabbed both of his hands, and he felt Natsu clench on his fingers, shaking with pain and pleasure. Then another whip, and Natsu jolted up, howling. Gray saw his cock dripping with masochistic pleasure.
"Oh damn," Gray whispered, mesmerized by Natsu's reactions.
Lucy pulled out her fingers. "Do you want to give it a go?"
Gray wasted no time. He leaped out of the bed and raced around. He looked at Natsu, bent over with red stripes on his ass already. Loke handed him the whip, but Gray shook his head.
"I want something more personal for my beloved." He rubbed the stinging pain out of Natsu's ass with his bare hand.
Natsu looked around his shoulder with tears of relief in his eyes. "Kainushi," he whispered.
Gray traced his fingers up Natsu's spine. "Your kainushi is back."
A tear of happiness dripped from Natsu's eyes. The fears were gone. The self-doubts lessened. He still had dread and nightmares somewhere in the back of his mind, but they were not here, not now. It was him and Gray again, just like before.
"Roar for me, dragon," Gray ordered, and his hand slapped Natsu's ass.
Natsu howled. "Oh God, yes!"
Gray spanked him again, and Natsu clawed at the bedsheets. Again his hand rang out against flesh, and he watched Natsu's butt turning bright pink.
"You're incredible, Natsu," Lucy said in admiration. "Not even Loke sounds that good when I whip him."
"I'm not fully a masochist," Loke reminded her. "I enjoy it because you enjoy it."
She glared through her smile. "Yes, you aim to please, no matter what it means to you personally." That was the sort of man he was, one who thrived on giving pleasure. He was loyal to an obsessive level, but he could never settle with one partner, not when others wanted the pleasure he freely gave. She realized early on, she either had to accept that he was this way, or break up with him.
She wondered what things Gray and Natsu had to learn to accept, and what new conditions they would still need to work out as they got back together after such a long time apart.
"I've decided," she said laconically, "I will punish Natsu myself. Loke, the whip. Gray … you may need to hold him."
Loke chuckled as he handed the whip to Lucy. "She's an expert. It won't leave scars, but … it'll hurt. A lot!"
Gray went back around to Natsu and held his hands like before. "Safeword, remember."
"I'm good. I want it," he whispered through a hoarse, dry throat. "Gray?" He looked up into those blue eyes. "I feel … better. Getting better," he corrected. "It's helping."
Gray smiled and hugged him. "I'm glad," he whispered, squeezing Natsu.
"You're not mad?" Natsu asked hesitantly.
"Of course not. I'm enjoying this as well. Are you still okay?"
"Yes," he said, and he leaned back into position. "More."
Lucy hummed as she smoothed out the whip. "Oh, I love it when I'm asked to give more."
The whip cracked, not once, but three rapid strikes with hardly any movement from her wrist. Natsu clung to Gray and screamed into his chest.
"I am master here," Lucy declared coldly. The whip moved again, almost like it was alive. Three more strikes hit so quickly together, they were almost like one hit. Natsu clawed into Gray, howling, gasping, panting, and beginning to tremble. "You are mine to order. My slave."
"No!" Natsu screamed, his eyes wild with fury.
"No slave!" Gray warned her. He grabbed Natsu's cheeks and forced him to look directly at him. "You're not a slave. No collar, right? No collar, you're not even bound. You're not a slave."
Lucy looked worried, and she glanced over to Loke. He cringed, realizing too late that he should have warned her about a few limits.
"That's enough punishment," Lucy decided, putting the whip aside. "Natsu has learned his lesson. Time to reward him. Lie him down!"
Natsu was still shaking, but Gray helped him back onto the bed and to the pillows. Aching from the whip, aroused to the point of pain, he lay back and stared at the ceiling, wondering what would come next in this sexual smörgåsbord.
"Gray," Lucy snapped, and she smirked. "Cuddle him."
Gray jolted and looked at her in astonishment. After everything else she had ordered… "C-Cuddle him?" he stammered.
"Those are my orders," she said, smiling deviously. "You don't want to disobey my orders, do you?" She tapped the handle of her whip to show what would happen.
Gray had seen her wicked whipping technique. He was not even a masochist, strikes like that would only pain him, so he wanted to avoid her punishment. He lay down beside Natsu and awkwardly curled up against him. To his surprise, Natsu was quick to roll over to him and wrap an arm around Gray's waist while nuzzling his chest. Gray blushed at such cuteness and relaxed.
Lucy whispered to Loke, "Cover them up, then come to the bathroom with me." She turned and left the room.
Loke pulled the kicked and crumpled covers over their bodies. He stroked the heads of both of them and leaned over to kiss Natsu's forehead. Then he followed Lucy, shutting the bathroom door behind him.
It was quiet, and the rushing blood of his pulse made Gray's ears hum. Neither one were fully satisfied, yet now they were forced into a break. He still felt Natsu's arousal between them, and it took patience not to frot against him. Instead, he looked at Natsu and stroked his skin with the back of his hand.
"It's less scary," Natsu whispered. "I don't necessarily prefer doing it this way, but it's definitely less scary."
Gray kept stroking his skin. "If it helps, we could try it again."
Natsu hummed, but he pulled Gray in. "I prefer having you to myself. I don't mind it this way too, though." He looked up at Gray with a grin. "Watching you is fun, even if it's with Loke. I like just watching you."
Gray chuckled, leaned forward and kissed him. "Watching you is also fun, although I prefer when it's my hand slapping your ass."
"I liked your spanks best," Natsu said, outlining Gray's guild mark with his finger. "Although … maybe you can ask Lucy to teach you how to use a whip. That hurt like hell. She's wicked!"
"And you loved it, right?" Gray chuckled, knowing him too well.
"Yeah," Natsu whispered with a shiver in his reply. He scooted up closer to Gray, and their arousals pressed together.
Gray hummed at the feel. One hand drifted down under the covers and grabbed both of them, stroking them together. Natsu's mouth opened in a silent, airy moan. Gray made a sudden roll and straddled on top of Natsu, gazing down at him as the blankets tumbled off their bodies.
Gray's eyes narrowed pensively. "I want … to be able to make love to you … normally. Like you want."
Natsu looked stunned, but then turned his gaze aside. "We'll never be able to."
"We will!" he insisted. "We're both seeing therapists. We're both getting better," he exclaimed with hope. "Maybe we can't right now, but we will someday. I'll wait for that day. Whatever we have to do, however long it takes!" He cupped Natsu's cheek in his palm. "I'll wait a lifetime for you."
Natsu felt his heart leap at that. A lifetime! "Gray," he whispered.
"Maybe I can't say some things, but I can say that much." He spoke it firmer now, hoping to convey his fidelity. "I'll wait a lifetime. That's how strong my feelings are."
Natsu's lower lip quivered, and he snuffled in happiness.
"I'll wait," Gray repeated ardently. "Whatever you need to heal yourself—if it's this or something more—anything either of us needs, we'll grant it. Anything but separating again. I don't think I could handle that a second time."
"Me neither," Natsu admitted. "I need you back. Need it!"
Gray leaned in closer, feeling the heat from Natsu's mouth. "You're stuck with me, flame-brain."
Natsu smirked. "I'll hoard you for the rest of my life, ice bastard."
"I'll be the one hoarding," Gray growled, and he kissed Natsu. His body surged up against him, frotting Natsu's arousal, hearing his soft moans behind kissing lips. "I love that sound," he whispered, pressing his hips up tighter against Natsu.
Just then, the bathroom door banged open. "What were my orders?"
Gray growled at the interruption. Maybe having another couple mixed in wasn't so fun!
Lucy came forward with the disapproving scowl she often gave them when they misbehaved. "Didn't I order you to cuddle him?"
"It's fine if we—"
"Don't you think I gave that order for a reason?" she shouted over him.
Gray froze. A reason? Had her order to cuddle Natsu been part of the healing process?
"You are not in the position to be deciding what is best for Natsu."
That enraged Gray. "What are you talking about? He's my boyfriend."
"Precisely," she snapped. "You can't make the right choice because you love him so much."
"So?" Gray yelled.
Natsu gasped. In the past, if someone asked Gray if he was in love, he would choke up, hesitate, and struggle to confirm it. Now he sounded protective over his feelings and agreed to feeling love with not a shred of fear. Maybe he still could not say it aloud, but definitely his love phobia had diminished over the past few months. Natsu saw for himself, Gray's therapy had been helping a lot.
Lucy folded her arms as she faced off, two dominants fighting over a masochistic Dragon Slayer. "Your love for him blinds you to his needs. I bet that was part of the initial problem between you two. Natsu had needs, yet you were so driven by lust, you weren't seeing them until it was too late."
Gray backed off, knowing that was true. His craving for sex and for Natsu had hurt them both many times over. Their last time together, he had given Natsu a blow job and hardly realized what they had done until it was over. New Year's Eve as well, Natsu had just wanted to kiss, and Gray had his mind on going back to his place to make love. Now again, Lucy must have seen that what Natsu needed was to be cuddled alone. Gray lasted not even five minutes before climbing on top of him, ready to fuck him.
"You disobeyed me," she stated. "Last I checked, I'm still in charge here."
"I never agreed to that," Gray protested.
Lucy curled her finger under Loke's chin. "Who's your master?"
"You, and you alone," he swore with utmost fidelity.
"And Natsu." Her eyes narrowed at him. "Who beat your ass hardest?"
Natsu's mouth dropped. Both Lucy and Gray were watching him for an answer. He gulped but had to admit, "You did, Lucy."
She smiled in triumph. "So see! Majority vote."
"Lucy…" Gray protested.
"You will be punished."
"Dammit, I'm not a masochist!" he bellowed. "I'm not playing this power-grab game with you."
"No problem," she smirked. "Natsu will be the one to punish you."
The Dragon Slayer gasped. "Wh-What?"
"On your knees, Gray," Lucy demanded.
He glared, but behind her he saw Loke looking serious. His focus shifted, and Loke nodded to him, showing that whatever this was, he needed to trust Lucy. She always had a way of working out puzzling problems. That was her specialty in their team, after all. So Gray climbed off the bed and dropped to his knees, waiting with defiant eyes.
"Talking back to me." Lucy clicked her tongue in disapproval. "That's not allowed, Gray. You need to be silenced."
"Ball gag?" he asked in an insolent tone.
"Not quite." Her eyes flicked over to the Dragon Slayer. "Natsu … gag him with your cock."
Natsu's eyes widened. "What!"
"You heard me. Or are you going to talk back to me as well? I could have Loke gag you in the same way."
Natsu looked to Loke, who had a predatory smile.
"Gag him," she ordered slowly, "with your cock."
Natsu looked down at Gray sitting there on his knees, naked and still half aroused. It was an order … yet it was edging toward something he had troubles with. Natsu hesitated as something dark flashed through his mind.
"Natsu," Gray whispered in anguish, seeing his internal pain.
"Silence!" Lucy barked. She walked up to Natsu and held his shoulders. "It's a simple command. Silence him. I'm not asking you to fuck his face. You're merely putting your penis into his mouth. That's all."
Natsu listened to her soothing instructions, and he felt confidence returning. He took a step forward, standing right in front of Gray. Natsu was still fully aroused. He held himself steady and looked down at Gray.
"Open your mouth," Lucy ordered.
Gray looked up into Natsu's troubled eyes, and he opened his mouth wide, showing he was okay with this.
Lucy whispered into Natsu's ear, "Silence him."
With a thick gulp, Natsu pressed his cock past Gray's lips. He gagged at the thickness, but Gray held still, simply keeping that arousal inside his mouth.
Now he understood what Lucy was doing. This was an act that scared Natsu, so she was making it completely nonsexual. Mentally, that allowed Natsu to do the act without the associated fears. Gray had to admit, her logic was brilliant.
"Don't let him speak," she added.
Gray saw Natsu's eyes changing. The fear was fading away. Whatever nightmare he had, it was burning away.
"Good," Lucy praised. "Hold him there in silence."
Gray's jaw began to hurt, just hanging open like that. Worse, saliva was building up. He tried to swallow, but that meant tightened his lips around Natsu. As his tongue and throat worked to gulp down the spit, Natsu groaned from the sucking.
"What are you doing?" Lucy barked.
Gray tried to talk around Natsu's cock. "I'n twyin' to swawwow."
"Trying to swallow?" she asked. "Who said you could do that? No swallowing. If you drool, then let that humiliation be part of your punishment."
Gray realized, if Natsu did not have a hard limit against ball gags, he would have ordered him the same thing: to keep his mouth open and drool all over himself. He wondered if Loke had taught Lucy these basics of BDSM just like he had taught Gray years ago.
His curiosity was interrupted as saliva began to drip down his chin. He struggled not to swallow, but the saliva built up and dribbled out. Gray trembled to feel it running down his chin, some dripping down his throat, messy and wet.
"Good," Lucy cooed, eying his debauched state with pleasure. "Natsu, you can do whatever you want with him now. Loke, will you join me on the bed?"
"Oh, with pleasure, master," he smiled, and Loke climbed on top of her, passionately kissing Lucy.
Natsu stood there, hearing their kisses and soft groans of passion. He looked down at Gray. What was he to do? He could pull out, but he felt … safe. Lucy's words had put the situation purely into his hands.
Gray finally swallowed, and Natsu moaned as the movements of his mouth sucked him.
He wanted it!
Natsu opened his eyes and looked down. Gray was waiting, sitting there obediently, gazing up at him with Natsu's cock in his mouth, just holding it there. Natsu's hand trembled with hesitation as he laid it on Gray's scalp. Then he grabbed the head, holding it still.
"Gray," he whispered.
Slowly, Natsu pressed into the mouth. Then he pulled back, feeling Gray suck the whole length. Natsu gulped hard. This was how he freaked out last time. It was still scary, and nightmares hovered on the edge of his mind, but … it felt safe. Like Lucy had said earlier, this was a mission. It was a war with himself, and his teammates were there to fight with him. He was battling those nightmares. He would protect Gray, Lucy, and Loke from the monsters. If there was one thing Natsu was good at, it was protecting his friends.
He pressed in again, then again, easier each time. Gray grunted as Natsu's cock hit the back of his throat. Natsu gulped, still feeling the edge of that nightmare, demons of his past and terrors he wished he could forget. Still, feeling more and more like this was a battle and not sex, he kept pounding into Gray's mouth. He focused on the sensations as he watched, trying to ignore his body's shivers from dread and lust.
Without warning, Gray grabbed Natsu's ass and yanked him in, thrusting that thick cock down his throat. Natsu groaned at the tight squeeze. Gray's fingers dug into him, clutching covetously.
"Gray," he whispered, but then Natsu gasped. "Gray! No!"
Instantly, Lucy pressed up against his back and held him around the chest while stroking his head. "We won't let you hurt him."
Loke knelt behind Gray and reached around to stroke his cock. "We'll protect Gray."
"So you don't have to fear," Lucy added, rubbing Natsu's head. "Gray is safe."
"But … I'm…"
"We'll protect Gray," she declared.
"I can't!"
"You can, because it's safe now."
"No … Gray," he moaned, running his hands through the raven hair.
Lucy grabbed his arm. "I won't let those monsters hurt him."
"But I'm the monster," he protested in sobs.
"Natsu," Loke said sternly.
The Dragon Slayer gasped at his voice. Loke was the only person in this room who knew precisely what he was struggling against.
"That was in the past. You would never do that again."
Natsu whimpered and looked down at Gray with fearful eyes.
"He loves you, and you love him. Doing something like this is normal."
"Normal?" he breathed, still shaking.
"It's normal between two people who love one another. Do you love Gray?"
"Yes," Natsu whispered. "More than anything."
"Would you hurt him?"
"Never!" he shouted.
"Then what is there to fear?"
Natsu had no answer, but he still looked ambivalent.
"You're not that person in the past. You're a good man, a powerful wizard, a Dragon Slayer who loves his mate."
He would never hurt Gray. Not him. Never his mate! Dragons protected their mates.
"It's safe, Natsu."
Safe! Had he ever before felt fully safe?
Lucy stroked his head. "Those monsters can't hurt him."
Those monsters. Not him, but the monsters of the past. Natsu looked down. He would never hurt Gray. He feared the things inside him, but just him, just Natsu Dragneel…
He might fight with Gray, argue with him, punch him, call him names, but he would never kill Gray.
He would never hurt his boyfriend.
Blue eyes turned up to him, and Natsu gasped at the love and trust in his face.
Gray trusted him.
He looked between the blonde and ginger. Lucy and Loke were protecting him.
He could do this without fear.
Touching Gray, holding Gray, making love without restraint…
"I … want it," Natsu muttered with tears in his eyes.
Lucy whispered into his ear. "Then do it. Loke is protecting him."
Natsu looked at Loke. Over the past few weeks, he had come to fully trust the Celestial Spirit. He knew precisely what Natsu feared, what he had done, the very worst of it.
Despite that, Loke trusted him to do this. He would protect Gray, but he still trusted Natsu.
"Gray," he whispered, running his hands through the soft hair. "Tell me if it hurts."
Natsu began to thrust faster, so close now that he needed only a little bit more. He heard Gray gag, but he pulled at Natsu's ass to urge him to go harder. Gray was starting to moan as well. Loke stroked him and fingered his ass, bringing the ice wizard up to a climax expertly timed to match Natsu's.
Natsu breathed hard as he felt his body drawing up, coiling, a tightness deep inside ready to burst.
"Gray! Go- … nnngh … gonna…"
Natsu suddenly yanked at Gray's hair, thrusting in hard as he burst apart. He howled as the pleasure peaked, but he felt something soft behind him, supporting him. He ignored that for now. It was just him and Gray, and he was coming into Gray's mouth, claiming him, and…
And touching him!
As more spurt out, he ran his fingers through Gray's hair, down his neck, to his shoulders. He felt Gray's body also shivering and smelled cum. Gray had also finished, and Loke was milking it out now.
Natsu dropped his gaze. Gray's mouth delicately sucked him clean. Natsu watched silently as his pulse calmed down. Finally, Gray pulled off only to lick him, kiss him, worship his cock, kissing it over and over.
"Gray?" he asked, voice hoarse and shaking.
He stopped licking and looked up.
"I did it," Natsu whispered, choking up with happiness. "I could touch you … the entire time. I could make love to you … normally. Not being restraining. Just holding you … normal."
Immediately, Gray raised to his feet and grabbed Natsu into a hug. "Yes, you did it. My dragon!"
Natsu scrubbed aside some tears and looked up to him. "Was it okay?"
Gray chuckled at his lack of confidence. He leaned over and kissed Natsu. "It was wonderful. I loved it, loved feeling your hands on me, loved having you touch me all the way through to the end, loved tasting you. I loved it all."
Natsu's mouth dropped. Gray used loved five times in a row! That showed how much his own healing had progressed. Feeling how he himself had healed, and hearing how Gray had healed, made Natsu's heart surge with joy. He crushed Gray in a powerful hug.
"Kainushi," he whispered, not caring anymore that tears were streaming down his cheeks.
Gray clutched that hot body to him. "My beloved," he breathed, and a tear slipped down his cheek as well. "Welcome back."
Lucy moved away, and Loke joined her. At a nod of their heads, they slipped off to the bathroom again to give the two some privacy.
After a long—and pleasurable—shower, the blonde and ginger stepped out of the bathroom. They saw Natsu and Gray asleep with the ice wizard spooned into his shorter Dragon Slayer. Lucy sighed at seeing them. She pressed her finger to her lips, showing Loke to dress as silently as possible.
"Should we leave them?" he whispered.
Lucy pulled on the dress she had arrived in. "The room is paid for. They need this."
She combed out her hair. Loke's clothes glowed, then materialized around him. Once Lucy got her shoes on and packed away the supplies she had brought, the two left the steamy room reeking of sex. They went to an elevator and rode it down.
"So, what did you think?" Loke asked while they were alone in the lift. "Your first full partner swap!"
"It wasn't much of a swap," she shrugged. "I hardly got any time at all with Gray. I wouldn't have minded feeling him inside. Especially Natsu. That guy's hung like a horse."
"Ooh?" Loke chuckled. "My master is feeling quite naughty still."
Lucy gave him a light punch on the arm. "You're to blame."
"You were hardly innocent by the time I got to you. I bet you fantasized about those two all the time."
She humphed at his mock jealousy. "Of course I did! We were teammates. We saw each other naked more times than I can count." She wrapped her arms around Loke's neck. "I love only you, y'know."
He kissed her on the forehead. "And I am devoted to you, my master. However, I'm a lion, and I need—"
"I know," she cut in. "I knew from the start, and I'm fine with that."
Loke tipped her head up. "That's what I love most about you. You're so understanding to the needs and limits of your Spirits. Such a caring master!" he whispered ardently. His lips captured hers, and they continued to kiss as they rode down the elevator.
Gray woke up to the feel of something warm on his head, caressing through his hair, something comforting and peaceful. When his eyes opened, he saw Natsu gazing down at him with a serene smile.
"Hey," Gray muttered sleepily. "How are you feeling?"
An understated yet amazed smile came to his lips. "Better." Natsu's voice wavered as he whispered that.
Gray felt warm to hear that. He reached up and cupped Natsu's cheek, feeling the heat in his skin. Natsu leaned into his hand and sighed with contentment.
"I hope this isn't a dream," Gray mused.
Natsu's brow furrowed. "I wish the last six months were just a dream. But this!" He leaned over and kissed Gray. "This is reality! It's just us again … like it should be."
Just them! That meant Natsu wanted him back. Gray half-sat up and kissed Natsu in happiness. Warm arms wrapped around him, and Natsu deepened the kiss.
Gray began to say, "I'm sorry I—"
"Don't!" Natsu grasped him harder and shook his head. "That's in the past. I need to put the past behind me."
He needed it … probably something he was learning with his therapist. It was a good suggestion too. They both did things and said things that were hurtful. It was best to leave that in the past.
"So … you want me back?" Gray realized his voice shook slightly, but he still dreaded that this was too good.
"Of course I do," Natsu declared. He grabbed Gray's face with both hands. "You're a goddamn idiotic ice-stripper!" he shouted, but his eyes softened. "And you're the only man I want."
Gray felt his cheeks warm up. "Flame-brain."
"Popsicle-dick."
"Ash-breath."
"Pervy snowman."
Gray picked up Natsu's hand. "Beloved."
He squeezed back. "Kainushi."
Gray's eyes began to burn. He threw himself around Natsu and squeezed him in a hug as searing tears dripped down.
"Gray?" Natsu asked in shock.
"Just … hold you. I need to hold you." He sniffled and struggled to not bawl.
Natsu embraced him and stroked through the black hair. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Gray gulped thickly through his tears. "You're better?" he asked in a shaking voice.
"I may still have problems," he admitted, "but … somehow that worked. It was what I needed all along, to convince that stupid part of my brain, it's not you. I'm not having these problems purely because of you. It'd happen with anyone." His brow tensed. "It almost happened with Lucy," he whispered, remembering how his nightmares had surged up against her. "Even with Loke, I felt that … darkness. It's not just you! That's what I needed to convince myself. I needed experience; I didn't understand why. Now I know, it's because I need to realize you're not the cause of those flashbacks. I can't blame you. It's all on me," he said sternly. "But I'm not the monster anymore. It's in the past, and I need to put the past behind me."
Gray recognized the stern voice that Natsu usually used when facing an enemy. The villain this time was long gone, just a memory. That was the hardest sort of enemy to fight.
"Besides," Natsu said, instantly cheerful again, "I managed to hold you the whole time. I've always wanted to do that."
"I liked it," Gray said, wiping his tears away. "Although I'll miss tying you down."
A sly chuckle rumbled in Natsu's chest. "Who says I don't want to be tied down still?"
Gray sat up and looked at that devious, seductive face. Damn, he had missed seeing Natsu like this!
"You may need to tie me down," Natsu smirked. "I am a wild dragon, after all."
"Oh?" Gray asked, moving in closer. "Would I get devoured if I don't?"
Natsu leaned in until their chests were together, eyes hazy with lust. "Don't tempt a hungry dragon."
"Oh, but I know how to defeat this dragon." His hand reached down and stroked Natsu. A moan shivered out and Natsu's eyes fluttered closed. Gray began to lean in, but he glanced around the room. "Where's Lucy?"
"Dunno," Natsu shrugged. "By the smell, she and Loke left hours ago."
"Good," Gray whispered, grabbing Natsu possessively. "I want you to myself."
Natsu moaned as Gray's lips collided with him, and he let the ice wizard push him back onto the pillows.
Back at the Therapist's Office
"Well, that was … ahem … more information than I needed."
"Oh. Sorry if I said too much."
"So, Lucy acted as a guide through multiple triggers while slowly bringing you and Gray back together. I must say, her actions were brilliant from a psychological standpoint. She was supportive but also firm in her actions. She remained attentive to your needs while pushing both of you toward the goal of being together on your own. I don't think I'd be recommending foursomes to my patients anytime soon, but using herself and her boyfriend as templates to show you that sex can be safe really was smart of her."
"Lucy's always been the smart one."
"So, you can make love without bondage now?"
"Um … well … that last time in the hotel, Gray iced my wrists through most of it. Since then, we've had sex once, last night, and … I didn't feel right. I asked him to bind my wrists again."
"Didn't feel right? Do you mean you still get flashbacks with the subconscious urge to kill him?"
"It's not as bad as it used to be, though. It's a lot better. We were just being … um … aggressive. That was probably the reason it triggered those memories."
"Perhaps you should try less … aggressive … sexual play."
"Yeah, definitely! We're planning a trip, actually. Just the two of us. It'll be relaxing, and it's my way of apologizing."
"Natsu, you do not need to apologize for seeking out help. You said so yourself: that night with your friends there to support you was a step toward healing. Even those months apart were what you needed to start mending these wounds. You should not be apologetic for doing things that are for your own good."
"I'll try, but I still feel sorry I put Gray through that. Besides, this is a trip we've talked about for a long time."
"Well, be careful, and if something seems to trigger you, stop doing it."
"I know."
"So, what about Loke? Are you still seeing him?"
"Well … um … I haven't yet. I don't know if I need to. I wouldn't mind talking with him, but … but I just want Gray now."
"Does this mean your experiment with multiple partners is over?"
"Probably. Unless something bad happens again, but … did you know you can do BDSM without sex?"
"I'm not into that."
"Oh. Right. Well, lots of times Gray and I did stuff without actually having sex. If I ever need just comforting, someone there to guide me through the scary parts, I think that's what I'd want. Something like … like a sex coach. Yeah! Like a trainer who's there to tell you when you're doing your workout wrong, only … for sex."
"You know, there are sex therapists. I could recommend one."
"Nah. I've got Lucy and Loke! All I need are my friends. Besides, some stranger watching … that'd be weird. But if it's those two, it wasn't that bad. I could tell Gray really liked when they were watching us. Especially when Lucy was urging me to fuck his face while Loke was stroking Gray off … Gray's scent went out of control! He definitely likes doing things for an audience."
"I … I see."
"Hey Doc? We should end this session early."
"Are you needed at the guild?"
"No, but I can smell that you're aroused and, no offense, but that's really weird for me."
"Ahem! Well, I … I will see you next week, Mister Dragneel."
"Yup! See ya, Doc."
End of Chapter 53
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