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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 54
- 55
- 56
A/N: This chapter was requested by Zhadoz, who wanted more sweat-licking kink: salirophilia. It's been an idea on my audio recordings since Christmas 2014.
My apologies for taking so long to update. All through February, I was busy with writing contests and real-life work as a publicity liaison preparing for a major event that happened just this past weekend. (We packed the auditorium, so my publicity was a success!) Then I caught a nasty bout of the flu in March which turned into acute bronchitis. I was sick pretty much all of March, and it took the first weeks of April to catch up with real-life work. Plus this chapter clocks in at 38 pages long. It took a while to write that much. I hope you enjoy it!
Audio: http://chirb.it/Ok47O0
Chapter 55
Hot Sweat
Natsu awakened to a scent from childhood mixed with the aroma his brain simply labeled as my mate. That blend of youth and maturity felt relaxing and strangely fulfilling, like coming full circle in life.
He felt fingers caressing his forehead and smiled at the touches. A single candle burned, just enough to light the bedroom. His eyes were slow to open, blurry at first, yet gradually his vision cleared to see a gentle smile and stormy blue eyes gazing down at him. Gray was propped up on an elbow, watching him and smoothing back his hair.
"Hey," he greeted his waking dragon.
Natsu tried to say hey back, but his voice had not cleared up yet. Only an airy noise and a smile greeted Gray.
"Did you sleep okay?"
Natsu laughed and snuggled into him. "I slept great. It's kind of reminiscent, you know. My old bed."
He was amazed he could even remember how it felt to wake up in this bed, this room, this cave. Those were memories from so long ago, another lifetime, yet it felt like no time at all since he would wake up to hear Igneel snoring, kick the dragon on the nose, and demand breakfast. He laughed softly at that memory.
"And you?" he asked, worried that Gray might have hated the hard bed and hot volcanic cave.
"Not bad, actually," Gray admitted. "Although it got a bit warm."
"Yeah." He smiled, liking the comfortable heat of the cave. "Not like how it used to be, though." He had grown used to Magnolia's colder climate, but he still remembered the simmering heat wavering in the air almost all the time. That fire was gone now, churning in the depths of the volcano.
Gray saw the blend of happiness and longing. Just like how his home village was no longer the same place where he grew up, this volcano had changed drastically. The difference was that Gray knew his village had been destroyed. He had visited his parents' graves before. He had been prepared for the destruction. Natsu obviously thought this cave would be exactly how he remembered, an unchanging edifice of stone.
Time changed all of them, though.
He just hoped the half year apart had changed the two of them enough.
He knew one thing, though. When he first woke up, Gray's initial thought had been, 'This feels right.' Being here, in bed with Natsu, having that warmth curled up next to him, felt … right! He had forgotten how much he loved sleeping with Natsu. His bed had felt lonely and cold for six months.
Looking down as Natsu yawned and wiped the sleep from his eyes, Gray felt utterly at peace. He wanted this to last. More than ever, he wanted this to be…
… Forever!
Gray caressed Natsu's cheek, bringing his eyes back over. He never wanted to lose this happy contentment simmering in his chest. He wanted to get better—both of them to get better—so they could live like this without the struggles of the past constantly blocking their path.
Gray wished he knew how to say all of this, but he had never been good with words. He leaned over instead, and Natsu tipped his chin up, his lips already lose and expectant.
Gray wondered, when had they kissed for the first time? Did they kiss that first night together, or had it been later? He could not remember anymore. Kissing those fiery lips simply felt like something he had always done, even though he knew that a year ago, he would have cringed at the idea.
A soft hum, or maybe a purr, made Gray's skin shiver. He shifted, almost crawling on top of Natsu, half on top of his chest with his ;eft hand on the other side of Natsu's shoulder to hold himself up as their kiss deepened. Searing fingers clutched at his back, trying to pull him in for more.
Gray suddenly lurched forward, swinging his leg over to straddle Natsu's hips. Their bodies rocked together, saliva dripped down Natsu's chin, and their hands clung to sweaty skin. Gray felt the bulge and slid against it, getting a louder humming growl.
He yanked up, panting in lust, and saw a flush already on Natsu's cheeks. Those narrow eyes were like green flames now, and he knew he could easily fall back into the furnace.
He also feared burning too hot too quickly. He had no idea where Natsu's limits were. Maybe Natsu himself did not know yet. As he looked down into those sage green eyes, Gray felt an overwhelming desire to protect him … even from himself.
He leaned over again and gave only a gentle, lingering kiss, pulling back with Natsu's lips still puckered for more. Those green eyes opened in confusion when he felt nothing else. Gray merely smiled in a silent apology and rolled back over to his side of the bed.
Natsu raised up onto his elbow. "Wait, that's it?" he cried out, worried why Gray had pulled away.
"I'm just kissing you good morning." Gray was amused to see Natsu's disappointment which meant he was more than okay with that much. Still, he decided to tease him a bit. "What, were you expecting more?"
"Knowing you, yeah!" Natsu huffed and flopped back onto his pillows. Now he was turned on yet left unfulfilled.
Gray caressed over the flushed cheeks. "I just wanted to kiss you. I can do that, right?"
"Yeah … a-and … more, if you want," he muttered, blushing.
Hearing that lightened Gray's heart. Still, he wondered just how much more Natsu was expecting. How far should they go so soon after getting back together? They had sex twice since that time with Lucy and Loke, although only stroking and blow jobs. Their last time together, Natsu had to ask to be restrained. Although that had been the norm before, now it worried Gray. If something bad happened, he would have to pull Natsu out of it himself, and he felt a lack of confidence in his ability to do that without making things worse.
He had Natsu back; he did not want to lose him.
"I really missed you," he muttered, feeling the depth of those lonely months.
Natsu looked up, wondering why Gray would say that, but he saw longing in those stormy eyes. He realized, Gray must really be holding himself back. He looked away, feeling guilty that he had put Gray through six months of hell.
"I'm sorry—"
"Shh!" Gray pressed his finger against Natsu's lips. "None of that anymore. We both needed some time. We're better now, right?"
Natsu's pout twitched. "Getting better."
"Yeah, same here. Getting better." They were not fully better yet, but they were at least getting help and improving. Gray shook his head as he thought back to how they had been near the end of their relationship. "We were really messed up, both of us. It wasn't just you. In fact, it was probably more my fault than yours." He had been the one with an obvious addiction to sex and unable to properly judge Natsu's needs, nor fully respect his limits. "But … we're getting better."
"Yeah," he smiled, squeezing Gray's hand. Natsu knew he was not completely better. The therapist had warned, it could take years to fight the deep scars in his soul, and he might have flashbacks for the rest of his life. Still, he was improving. He felt the instant changes, fewer nightmares, a clearer mind, and he was happier now with Gray back in his life.
Nervously, Gray asked, "Did you want to … um … talk? You know, about what we've both been dealing with, therapy and all that? We haven't really had that talk yet."
Natsu knew they had been avoiding it, mostly because he felt guilty that he still did not want Gray to know about his past. It was a darkness he wished had remained buried, and he was terrified that Gray would not want a boyfriend with a past like that. Still, he was curious about Gray's progress.
"Over breakfast?" he asked as an offer.
Gray grinned, glad he would finally open up a little. "Yeah, over breakfast." He traced over the scars on his face, neck, and torso. "Hey, Natsu?"
"Hmm?"
Gray's eyes softened. "I'm glad I'm here with you."
That made Natsu smile. He had wanted to bring Gray here for a long, long time, so he was glad it was not a boring, wasted trip, or worse, uncomfortable and annoying to the ice wizard.
They rose, and Natsu went to a natural vent sculpted into the shape of a toilet. Gray guessed it was a hollow lava tube leading straight down to the magma at the heart of the volcano. At least, the air that drafted up as he took a dump on the vent was uncomfortably warm.
Gray had fetched a candle when he first woke up, but Natsu lit the oil trough that ran through the entire cave. Gray wandered through the stony tunnels and glittering caverns, looking a little closer this time. He wondered if it was his imagination, or if there really was a vein of silver. This cave probably held many riches no humans knew about, since they all feared the tales of the dragon, and since Igneel had magically sealed the cave.
"So, what the hell do we have to eat?" he called out to Natsu, doubting there was a stash of food left behind, or at least nothing still edible.
"Well, we have some stuff in our packs. Nothing in the cave; we rarely kept leftover. I used to go hunting for my food each morning."
Gray frowned at that idea. "I don't want to go back down the mountain before breakfast. Dry fish and nuts will do, I guess."
"That's fine. We'll get something good for dinner." Natsu walked to the mouth of the cave and glanced out at the valley. "I'm curious if there are any wild boars still around these parts."
Boars? And Natsu hunted those as a child? Crazy flame-brain! "By the way, how long were you planning on staying here?"
The question surprised Natsu, and he returned back into the cave, as if fearing that leaving it for too long meant he would have to go away forever.
"I dunno," he answered. "At least a day. I haven't been back in … well … I'm not sure how many years to consider it. B-but if it's boring…"
Gray clasped a hand on his shoulder to silence his worries. "However long you want: a day, a week, as long as you like. It's a nice place, and it's our vacation. Plus it's not like we have to worry about rent."
Natsu's teeth gleamed like pearls in his massive grin. He was glad Gray liked it here.
Natsu led them to a spot in the main cave with a human-size stone table. He ran his hand over the polished top, and Gray saw bittersweet memories in those narrow eyes. How many meals must he have shared with Igneel at this table? Had the dragon even tried to teach Natsu manners? If he had tried, obviously they did not stick.
They pulled out some of the trail food from their packs, dried fish they caught while on the road, nuts they gathered, a few berries and mushrooms, and Gray made tea, with Natsu heating the water from their canteen. The glittering caverns echoed with the sound of their chewing.
"So, are we going to go over what happened?" Gray asked out of nowhere.
Natsu jolted that he still wanted to talk about that, and he forcefully gulped his food. "Not much new, really," he said, hoping to get out of saying anything in detail. "We've been going over the past, things I remember, things I forgot."
"And you remember all of it now?"
Natsu hesitated with a pinch to his brow, but he nodded.
Gray looked down into his tea and tried to ask casually, "Wanna talk about it?"
Natsu knew Gray would ask. "Not really," he admitted with a surly grumble.
Gray opened his mouth, about to argue that Natsu had told Loke, so he should also tell him. However, he slammed his mouth closed and looked away. He had to let Natsu heal at his own pace.
Natsu dared a glance up. He knew from the first day the memories returned, he absolutely did not want Gray to know about his past. He still felt that way, although both the therapist and even Loke had urged him to confess it all. He remembered what Loke had told him.
"Please don't tell Gray."
"He needs to know!"
"No, please. Don't tell him. I … don't think he would take me back. He would never want me, not if he finds out I did all that."
"Natsu, he needs to know. Holding back a secret like that … no wonder you have nightmares."
"He'd break up with me."
"He might, but isn't it better to let him make that choice? Either he'll accept your past or push you out of his life. It's better than hiding it and leaving him dangling."
Maybe it was good advice, but Natsu honestly feared that Gray would hear his story, stand up, walk out, and never look back, never want to be within ten paces of someone as wretched as him ever again. He felt sick to his stomach just thinking about the possibility of losing Gray forever.
"I'll tell you what I told Loke."
Gray jolted up. Was he really going to tell? However, Natsu's face showed that he could not face the darkness, he was hiding from it, and he wanted Gray to simply understand his reasons.
"I'm … not stable enough to say it all, to admit to it all. It took time … a long time … for me to tell the therapist everything. It came out in bits, parts, but I could never get through the whole story. I never wanted to face the whole thing. I couldn't. Even now…" His voice faded, but he looked across the table to Gray with a pinch of anguish to his brow. "You deserve the whole truth, not partial, and telling you only pieces isn't fair. I told Loke I would tell you, but only once I know I'm strong enough to tell you everything."
"You told Loke, though," he blurted out, and he instantly regretted it. Gray cringed and fisted up his hands, wishing he never said that. It was not fair to feel so envious.
"I didn't have much to lose with Loke," Natsu pointed out. "I have everything to lose with you. I know it's not fair," he admitted. He wished he could be brave enough to say things like he had been with Loke, but it was different with Gray. Totally different! "I'll tell you when I'm ready."
Gray drummed his fingers on the stone table, and Natsu looked aside, worried that maybe he was already pushing Gray away. That was not his intention at all. He knew it was not really fair that he had told Loke, yet not told Gray, but he truly dreaded the thought of Gray hating him, leaving him, never wanting to even be in the same room as him. He not only had to be strong enough to face the darkness of the past, but also to possibly face an entire lifetime without Gray by his side. He felt like maybe that possible future scared him even more than the sins of his past.
"All right."
Natsu jumped at Gray's sudden decision.
He raised his head, and there was an understanding smile on his face. "I can't rush you. You're trying to protect me in your own way, and maybe protecting yourself." He rested his fingers over Natsu's wrist. "When you feel ready, I'm willing to listen."
Natsu sighed in relief. "Thanks. So, how about you?" he asked, hoping to press aside the issue. "How's your therapy going?"
"About the same, I guess. Going over the past, what I remember, admitting … my issues, particularly my problem with saying how I feel, how it goes back to my mother."
"Your mother?" Natsu cried out in surprise. Then he remembered a moment in the past. "You called out to her once during a flashback."
"Yeah, that's the root of it." He poked at his meal, not feeling like eating right now. "Every time I try to say it, I hear her scream. I flash back to when she died. After she was hurt, she was still protecting me, still trying to keep me alive. She kept telling me … she loved me. She repeated it, over and over, until … until the end." He flinched as he could still hear her voice as an echo in his mind. "The therapist thinks that memory somehow attributed to everything I go through: the flashbacks, the phobia, everything. I can't say it because it reminds me of losing her, and I'm terrified that if I say it, like I said it to her, whoever I tell will die like she did." He glanced up worriedly. "Does that make sense?"
Although saddened, he nodded. "Parents are really important. Our very first experience with love is probably the love we feel for our parents."
"Yeah. But I'm trying. I'm supposed to be working on it, and I try all the time."
"Try?" Natsu asked in surprise. "Like, you practice saying … those three words?"
Gray's eyes softened as he looked across the table. "Yeah. On my own, when I know no one can hear me, not even the therapist." I love you, Natsu, and I want to tell you. I love you! "It's … slowly getting better," he said warily, "but it's still … I can't…" He sighed and shook his head. "It's not as bad, but I'm not there yet."
Natsu reached over and covered Gray's hand. "You never need to say it with me."
"No!" He yanked his hand back, unwilling to fall into complaisance again. "I need to … for me," he insisted. "I need to say it. It's a massive mental block, and it's unhealthy for me to continue like this, so I need to tell you one day."
"But I know—"
"Natsu!" he shouted, and Gray shook his head. "Don't brush it off. That's not going to help me. You would like to hear me say it, right?"
Natsu's mouth dropped, unsure now how to answer. He had of course wanted to hear Gray say I love you, but he also knew without words that Gray felt that way. Still, if this was Gray's goal, he would support him. Reluctantly, he nodded his head. Truth be told, he felt a thrill every time Gray came close. He wanted to hear it, if only to praise Gray for getting over that mental block.
"I'm trying," Gray assured him. "It just might take a while longer. Like with you, we can't push these things, but we can work together."
"As much time as you need," Natsu assured him, ready to fully support him.
"Same with you. We'll say what we want to say, but in our own time." It was just the way it had to be. They could not force these things, and they should not push one another beyond what they could handle. "So, for you, therapy is helping?"
"I think so," Natsu mused. "I mean, you and me, we were able to … to…" His blush showed what he meant.
"Yeah," Gray chuckled, also blushing at the memory of that night. "Although it took those two to get us past our problems."
"Still, I managed to do it. I felt safe, and … and I feel safe here."
"Because this is your home?"
"Maybe. It's like being back then, before bad stuff happened. So, it feels safe." Natsu bit his lip, but then he looked up with determination. "I'm … I'm trying to say … if it's here, I would feel safe. Just us. And … and I want … just us. If you want to." He hoped he was getting his point across in his awkward, nervous way.
Gray's mouth dropped. "Damn, of course I do! It's just … y-you…" He bit his lip, holding back his worries. He still remembered how Natsu had freaked out in the past. He never wanted to see him like that again.
"Don't look at me like that," Natsu grumbled petulantly. "I had issues, and I'm getting over them. I want you to trust me, as I'm trying to learn to trust myself."
To trust Natsu. To trust that he would not panic, or if he did, he could pull out of it safely. To trust that they could do this together, without Lucy and Loke as a safety net. To trust that Natsu knew his limits and would stick to them.
It was a lot of trust to give to him.
Then again, Natsu had always trusted Gray to stop when their sadomasochistic play got too far. Their whole relationship, from the very start, was built on the trust they formed early on as teammates, which continued and grew stronger as lovers.
"Fair enough."
Natsu sighed out a breath he did not realize he had been holding. He knew what Gray must be thinking about, just how messed up he was near the end, how low he got before finally realizing he needed a break for his own sanity. Still, Natsu needed to trust himself, and that started with knowing others trusted him, especially Gray.
They grabbed one another's hands, holding on tightly. They had fought alone, then fought with professional help. Now it was time to fight together and see how strong they were.
"There's a hot spring, or at least there used to be one, if it's still here." Natsu certainly hoped the volcanic hot spring still existed. It was a main reason he wanted to take Gray to Igneel's cave. Nervously, nibbling his lip and staring down at his twisting toe, he stuttered, "If you want … to just … clean up a bit … and soak … a-and…"
"See where it goes from there?"
Natsu blushed fiercely. "Y-yeah."
Gray knew precisely where it would go, but he was glad to see that this was something Natsu wanted. "Be honest if we need to stop."
"I will," he promised.
"All right." Gray finished off his tea and smiled over at Natsu. "Lead the way."
They headed off down another part of the cavern. Right away, Gray felt the heat increasing and moisture in the air.
"Yeah, it's definitely down here," Natsu said, sounding relieved. "I just hope it's not like a swamp or anything. Igneel was really strict about baths. Once, I tried to protest taking a bath, so he flew me out into the middle of a lake and dumped me off his back on purpose. I had to swim back to shore. Man, I was pissed," he laughed, remembering how exhausting that had been and how he had not spoken to Igneel for the rest of the night in anger. "But I never protested against baths again."
They finally entered another part of the cave, and Natsu lit the oil trough that lined one wall. Beyond, stretching into darkness, was an underground lake. Thick drapes of pale, glittering stalactites, like stone curtains, hung down from the ceiling, and they heard echoing drips that faintly rippled the lake.
"Whoa!" Natsu exclaimed, looking around with massive eyes. "It looks so different. The lake is huge now."
"Well, it's been a few hundred years," Gray reasoned. He also figured the snow on the mountain had probably increased the water level, if Natsu looked this stunned by the size.
"Yeah," Natsu whispered, saddened again. "It really looks … wow!"
"It looks pretty awesome."
"Yeah, I guess," he muttered. "Just not the same."
Even this, his washing room, was not at all how he remembered. It was colder, wetter, the smell had more of a calcium tinge, and the water came almost all the way up to the entrance. He and Gray had to edge along a narrow coast to a place set aside with stone stools and hollow geodes for bowls, with crystalline deposits glittering in the stones.
"Well, this was the wash area," Natsu announced.
Gray stared at the geode basins. Those alone were probably worth hundreds of thousands of Jewels back in Magnolia. The stool was carved from soapstone, small enough for a child. He glanced around at the whole cave, particularly the ceiling with all the stalactites, some jagged like daggers, some wavy and draping with the smoothness of fabric.
"Igneel could fit in here?" he asked. He had briefly seen the Fire Dragon King, and he could hardly believe a creature so massive was able to fit under such a low ceiling with perilous spikes and fragile drapes of stone.
"Barely. You know, now that I think back on it, he probably designed all these rooms for me. He really had to squeeze through the passages. He mostly stayed in the main chamber, but he'd wiggle down low to come in here and help scrub my back. It must have been uncomfortable." Natsu gazed out sadly over the lake. "All the side rooms, they were only barely big enough for him. He must have widened the passages so he could let me use those rooms but still make it into them himself, even at a tight squeeze."
Gray rubbed his back consolingly. "He really took care of you."
"Yeah," Natsu muttered, only now realizing how much Igneel did for him. His lips trembled in bittersweet nostalgia. "He was awesome."
He wiped away a tear and tried to smile. Then, without any warning, he began to strip out of his clothes, put them on a stone bench, and walked over to the washing area.
"Looks like we'll need soap," he said, poking a crumbled lump that Gray guessed used to be a bar of soap.
"I'll get that and towels," Gray offered, and he ran back to their packs.
He thought about what they both said. He really could not expect Natsu to tell him about a past that haunted him, not when saying three simple words triggered so much fear in himself. They both needed time still, and they had only two choices: put up with the fact that they could not yet say certain things, or stay apart until both of them could speak freely.
He definitely did not want to be apart from Natsu anymore. He would rather wait a lifetime not knowing what happened to him than spend another month without him.
Gray returned and saw Natsu standing there naked, surprisingly looking majestic in this cavernous setting. He was the son of the Flame Dragon King, a prince of this mountain, and even nude he looked perfectly at ease here in his home. He had filled one of the massive geodes with water from the lake and dumped it over his hair, letting the water flow through the pink strands and over his body.
He smelled the ice wizard there and looked back. Gray jolted at being caught staring. Once, he had hardly been perturbed at seeing Natsu naked. Now, it had been so long, and he looked so … so good! So sexy! Gray forced his eyes aside, ashamed to have been caught by surprise.
Natsu faced the other way and blushed. He heard Gray stripping out of his clothes, but he did not turn around. He felt bashful, even if the two of them had bathed together many times in the past, ever since childhood.
He focused on the soap and cloth Gray handed to him, scrubbing off the mud from hard traveling. He kept feeling blasts of cold and glanced over. Gray was cooling off the water before using it. Natsu shook his head. Wimp!
He heard Gray's feet approaching and knew he was right behind him. Natsu's heart began to race, wanting Gray to touch him, hold him, love him, and also nervous about how far they would go here, in this peaceful setting where he felt safe from the darkness.
"I'll get your back," Gray offered.
Natsu grinned in thanks and stayed facing away. Gray soaped up a washcloth and began to scrub Natsu's skin. As he sat there, Natsu immediately began to squirm. His hands went down, covering his groin, but there was no way to fully hide that curious little dragon.
"Well well," Gray taunted. "You're really eager."
"Shut up," he pouted. "I'm…" He wanted to hide from embarrassment.
Gray rubbed his wet shoulders, and Natsu jumped in surprise at those cold fingers instead of the rough cloth. Gray had a relaxed smile.
"Whatever happens, happens," he said soothingly.
Natsu nodded, but he already knew what he wanted to happen. He just was not sure how to lead up to it.
Gray slammed the washcloth into his chest and took a seat in front of Natsu, presenting his back. Natsu scrubbed on more soap and began to rub circles over Gray's broad shoulders.
"The water's so hot!" Gray grumbled. Natsu had not even cooled it a little.
"It's a natural hot spring; what'd you expect?" he snapped, but the next time he moistened the cloth, he let it cool off a little before rubbing again.
Gray looked out over the lake. Steam clung to the air and glittered the wet rocks all around. "Gonna be a pain," he muttered.
"You could try the kiddie pool."
Gray glared back. "The what?"
Natsu pointed to a cavity with clear water separate from the lake. "When I first arrived here, before I was really used to the heat, Igneel would bathe me in that pool. It took time to build up to the hot spring. The lake has cooled off a lot, though. I mean, the water isn't even bubbling!"
"Wait, it used to bubble?" Gray cried out.
"Yeah." Natsu frowned at the calm lake. "It's gotta be half that hot now."
"You're insane," he muttered. "I'll test the lake, but I'm not boiling my balls just to soak." Gray wiped his forehead. "This place is a sauna anyway. Just sitting down here is enough without soaking in water."
Natsu sniffed, and he could smell the sweat beading on Gray's body. Even though he had just washed him, Gray had a sheen of sweat covering him. Natsu leaned over, hesitated, but gently licked the saltiness.
Gray tried to glance around. "What are you doing?"
Natsu smiled to himself and dragged his tongue over Gray's shoulder blade. "Licking you."
Gray laughed awkwardly, but as he felt that soft wetness on his skin again, a tingle shot straight down to his groin. Natsu had always loved to lick him. From that very first night, he enjoyed simply licking Gray's skin, and the wet heat always affected the man used to the bitter cold. He shifted on the washing stool and folded his hands over his lap.
Natsu did not need to see, though. He smelled it, tasted it, sexuality and desire oozing out of Gray's pores. His eyes gleamed, knowing he was making Gray aroused, but he said nothing. He knew what Gray liked. Even after all this time, he remembered the sensitive spots.
Natsu touched Gray's back. There was a new scar there, small, a mark from a mission they had two months ago. Still, it was something different, and it reminded Natsu of how long it had been since he used to know every spot and crevasse of his lover's skin.
"Gray?" he whispered. He suddenly wrapped around his back, hugging him from behind. He nuzzled into the black hair and sniffed his soothing, foresty scent. "Thanks for waiting for me."
Gray looked down at the arms, slightly more bulky than last time, with a scab on the knuckle from a recent fight. He held onto those embracing arms, leaned back into the pink hair, and smiled wistfully.
"Thanks for coming back," he whispered in return.
"I planned to from the very start. I needed time to sort myself out, but … I need you more."
Gray turned around and saw the longing in that young face. He caressed the scar on Natsu's cheek, unsure what to say. He had always been bad with words.
"Anyway," Natsu said, knowing Gray would be at a loss for words, as he always was. "Thanks. I know it … it was hard on both of us," he said, torn between awkwardness and guilt. "It wasn't an easy thing for me to do."
"Yeah," Gray frowned, remembering how Natsu had cried the day he admitted he needed time off to heal himself. Yet here he was again, and Gray saw the improvement. Natsu had been slipping away quickly back then, forcing his smiles and losing himself to flashbacks. Now, his face was so relaxed, his smile effortless, and so far he seemed stable. He gave the burning hot hand a supportive squeeze. "We're together now, and we're getting better. We have each other. That's what's important."
Natsu grinned, glad Gray was not bitter about the past.
"Natsu." He leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I'd wait for you, as long as it takes, and I'll do anything to help you get over this."
"Same here," he promised. "If you need time off, or anything … I'd rather wait for you than not have you. But … I don't like waiting, either," he admitted. "That was hell. I knew I needed it, but I don't think I could do it again, even if it was for my sanity. I was going crazy without you. I just … need you."
He knew his therapist said this was obsession, but Natsu did not care. If he had to be obsessed over anything, he would rather be addicted to the man he loved.
Gray blushed at how adorably Natsu pouted as he tried to say what he was feeling. He looked uncharacteristically timid, and it made Gray's heart flutter.
Suddenly, Natsu stood and ran to the lake, leaping in with a splash. Gray chuckled and shook his head as he put away the cleaning supplies. This crazy flame-brain even ran away like a little kid.
"That's safe, right?" he asked.
Natsu floated on his back, kicking out into the lake. "Feels nice, actually. Not any hotter than a normal hot spring."
Gray dipped a toe in and found it barely tolerable. He walked out into the water slowly, letting it gradually go up his body, hissing as it went over his groin and heated away the slight stiffness.
"There used to be a place to sit," Natsu said, looking around. "I guess it's underwater now. The lake is a lot bigger so I don't know where the good spots are anymore."
"It's fine." Gray eased down, sitting close to the shore so he could rest and just soak.
He watched Natsu swimming and diving down. How could he dunk his head under such hot water? He acted like it was merely a swimming pool and not fiery hot water.
"How do you do that?" he finally snapped. "My balls are gonna boil."
Natsu laughed and jetted across the lake, right up to Gray, straddling over his lap. Gray leaned back at the sudden closeness. Natsu's face was a mix of impish playfulness and salacious scheming.
"How about you cool them off yourself?" he said in a low, sensual voice.
Gray arched an eyebrow. "Whuh?"
Natsu had a devious smirk as he backed away, gliding through the water. "Reach down. Cool them off … with your hand."
Despite the heat trying to melt away his arousal, Gray felt a rush straight down to his groin at the hungry gleam in Natsu's eyes. He chuckled slyly. Sexy bastard!
"You mean like this?" He reached down and stroked himself, cooling his hand to ease the heat on his cock. As soon as it was not edging toward pain from the hot water, his arousal was free to spring up.
Natsu hummed as he watched. Even if he could not see under the water well, the mere fact that Gray was pleasuring himself was enough to get him turned on. The movement of his hands under the water, one stroking while the other cupped his balls to keep them cool, made Natsu gulp thickly. When Gray let out a shuddering moan, Natsu worried that they both might pollute the hot spring with dripping pre-cum. Gray looked incredible, and Natsu wanted to see him lost in pleasure. Especially here, in his element, surrounded by heat, seeing Gray flushing and moaning made the blood rush straight down.
Gray cracked an eye open and saw Natsu's mouth open, almost drooling, and his eyes wide as they devoured the display. "You wanna watch?" he asked, stroking slowly.
Natsu unconsciously licked his lips. "I like watching you."
"I like when you do," Gray admitted. He loved to see how much lust he could build up in that face without even touching him, denying him, taking all the pleasure for himself. Gray arched his back and he stroked his balls more. He groaned sensually, "I need to make sure they stay safe and cool."
Natsu gasped as he watched Gray pleasure himself. He could be denied, he was fine with that, even liked it at times, because merely watching Gray could make him so hard. He moved slowly through the water, drawing closer, feeling lightheaded as Gray's scent grew thicker, like the steamy air was concentrating all that musky aroma. He breathed deeply through his nose, almost able to taste that sexual arousal filling the cavern air.
"You really smell good," he breathed, struggling to hold himself back.
Gray paused and raised an eyebrow. "I … smell good?" He thought Natsu was enjoying his face, or the sounds of his moans, not his smell.
"Yeah," Natsu whispered, enthralled by it all, the visual, the audio, the aroma, everything. He watched as Gray wiped sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. "Hey, you … you can sit over here. There's a ledge. Just soak your legs if you're too hot."
Gray had to admit, expending magic to keep his body cool would tire him out after a while. He moved through the hot spring to something Natsu was patting just under the surface. He saw through the water, it was a flat ledge, perhaps a table once, now submerged. He hoisted himself up. The lake still came up to his thighs and lower hips, but his upper body was above the scalding water.
"Like this?" He realized that up here, his cock was above the water's surface. He chuckled as Natsu stared at it intensely. "Is it a better view?" he asked, giving himself another slow stroke.
"Not just that."
Natsu was standing, but he was slightly above Gray, most of himself underwater. He walked up, settled between Gray's legs, and rubbed his hands over the wet, bare chest. He stroked his pectorals and rested his fingers over the dark blue guild mark. His eyes looked hazy, as if he was drunk, and he kept leaning in closer, although his view never left Gray's shimmering skin.
"What is it?" the Ice-Make wizard asked, confused why Natsu was staring at him so strangely.
He spoke in barely a whisper, lost in pleasure. "Your smell."
Smell again? Gray felt another drop slip down his forehead. "I'm sweating a lot with the heat."
"Exactly. All that sweat. Mmm … smells good." He rested his hands on the submerged rock and leaned forward, bending down a little. His tongue darted out, and he licked Gray's shoulder. The taste was instantly addicting, better than one of Mira's salty snacks. He licked again, dragging his tongue over the sheen of sweat and tasting the musky salt.
Gray shuddered at the feel of his tongue and moaned Natsu's name. Being licked when he knew he was sweating so much was embarrassing. Didn't it taste bad? Then again, Natsu had always loved to lick.
Natsu did not let up. Like a grooming cat, he licked Gray, lapping up the salt and scent. A low growl purred deep in his chest, and he could hardly help it. Gray's taste was incredible. Especially like this, freshly cleaned and sweating heavily in the moist heat, Natsu wanted to taste more.
However, as his mouth got aggressive, Gray pulled back. Natsu paused and looked up, worried if this was something Gray did not like.
"Can I just lick you?" he requested, wanting to be sure he did not do something unwanted.
Gray gulped and nodded as his voice trembled, "Y-yeah."
Natsu gave a slow, cautious, but long lick up his abs. He felt Gray tremble, but Natsu smelled a surge in pheromones, so he knew it was pleasurable. He gave another long lick across Gray's chest, especially along the vales of muscles where the sweat gathered like dew in a valley. Natsu began to lose himself in the smells, the musky aroma, sweat, and rising headiness of arousal. Hardly even thinking, he latched onto Gray's nipple.
Gray cried out in shock and pushed him back. Natsu snatched his wrist, tight yet not bruising. His green eyes turned up with animal-like hunger gleaming. The glare froze Gray.
Shit. Natsu looked dangerous!
And it was hot!
Once Natsu realized Gray was not truly protesting, he continued, licking the nipple, nipping it, and giving it a suck. Gray tensed up, straining back moans. His cock bobbled above the lake's surface, stiff and aching, but all Natsu did for now was licking, working his way up to his neck and collar.
"Tastes good," he moaned. His licking continued, along the collar bone, up Gray's throat, over his Adam's apple, all the way to his chin, then up his cheeks.
Gray chuckled as Natsu even licked over his face, more like a puppy now. "Are you enjoying it?" he asked, fighting amusement and arousal.
Natsu hummed, silent but happy as he licked over Gray's brow, along his eyebrows, and even over his eyes. Gray pulled away at that, and Natsu had a devious little smirk. He licked Gray's lips, up to his nose, still smirking playfully, but then nuzzled into his neck, lapping the skin with contentment.
"Hey, Natsu?"
He rubbed his nose into Gray's hair. "What?"
"Can I … spoil myself a little?"
He pulled back, wondering if he had been hogging all the pleasure. "S-sure!"
Gray glanced over that firm body, down to the groin and the pink head poking up from the water, then dragged his gaze back up to Natsu's face. He placed his hand on the hot thigh and rubbed up slowly, scooting closer to Natsu. "I really … really … wanna taste you."
"Taste?" asked Natsu. "Like licking me back? That's totally fine."
Gray shook his head, trying to think how to say it. "I'm … thirsty."
"Are you overheating in here?"
"Natsu!" he snapped. How blunt did he have to be? His eyes turned down hard to Natsu's cock, then back up. Seriously, if that wasn't enough, he would have to hit this idiot to remind him.
"Oh!" Natsu grinned as he finally understood, but then a shiver ran through his body. "Oh," he whispered, shocked by the realization. "W-wait. Do you … you mean—"
Gray's stormy eyes brewed with lust. "I want…" He grabbed Natsu's cock, making him gasp. "…to drink you."
"You … want…?" Natsu gulped hard. "Your piss fetish?"
He gave the Dragon Slayer a heavy, serious look. "Is that okay?"
Natsu blushed and looked aside. "I don't mind, if that's what you want."
"Yes." His answer came swiftly and decisively, leaving Natsu startled.
"O-okay," he whispered. This one kink had always been strange to him, but he knew how much Gray liked it. "Well, I do need to pee, but…"
He remembered other times they did this, so many times and different ways. Even on merely their second night together, Gray showed how much he liked this particular fetish. Natsu wondered if he would ever feel fully comfortable with it, ever comprehend the attraction. It was strange, even disgusting, yet arousing just to see Gray's eyes so blown with lust. How he figured, he loved the flavor of Gray's salty skin, so Gray wanting to taste him as well should not be seen as all that weird.
Gray began to wonder if he was already asking for too much. Just a few days ago, as they were packing to leave on the trip, Natsu admitted he did not really like this fetish, yet he also said he did not mind going along with Gray's wants. Still, that ambivalence left Gray questioning if this was pushing limits.
"If it's no good—"
"No!" Natsu said quickly. "No, it's … it's fine." He laughed off his nervousness. It was humiliating, thinking he would do such a private, crude action right into Gray's mouth, but that also aroused him. "Not in the lake, though," he insisted. He took Gray's hand and pulled him off the rocky ledge. "C-come here."
They left the lake and went back up to the entrance and cleaning area. Natsu looked around. Even if anything dripped from Gray's mouth here, it would not dribble down to the lake and pollute the water.
"This is good, here," he decided nervously. He cringed and pressed his legs together as the need to pee increased just by thinking about it.
Gray saw the speed of Natsu's breaths and how he flexed his fingers, then drew them up into a fist, something he did when nervous. He again worried if he was pushing too fast, too far, returning straight back into the kinks he had before. Then again, he had liked this sort of thing before he and Natsu got together. He probably would always have this fascination. He needed to make sure it was still something consensual. There was no way he would push Natsu into something he outright hated.
Gray cupped his cheek and said softly, "Natsu?"
"It's okay," he insisted a little too sharply. Natsu tried to laugh it off. "I know you're a kinky bastard."
He knew that, and he really had missed the way Gray made his heart race. He wanted this! Even if it was not his kink, he liked the way it affected his lover. His hands slid along the bulky arms, enticing him.
Deviously, he whispered, "Drink me up, Gray."
God, he loved when Natsu looked that hungry! "Do you need me to restrain you first?"
Natsu blinked in confusion. "Oh. I wasn't thinking about it." Natsu looked down at his wrists. "Um … I probably don't need it for this much, but … but I like it," he confessed, clutching his own wrist. "I like when you restrain me with your ice. I miss feeling that."
Gray groaned at how Natsu already looked like a perfectly submissive little devil, wily yet willing. However, it was the hardening arousal that really enticed him now. "Do you want me to suck you off, too?"
"Yes," Natsu gasped, shivering with need. "Suck me, then drink me. Everything." He looked up into Gray's eyes and smiled sinfully. "Drink everything."
"Fuck, yes," Gray snarled. "Up against the wall!"
He slammed Natsu hard against the cave wall, knocking the breath out of him. Natsu gasped, thrilled to feel this vicious and desirous side of Gray once more. Gray snatched up his wrists, gripping them hard enough to bruise. He slammed Natsu's hands above his head, pinning them to the glittery stone. Ice flowed from his hand and covered the wrists.
"Ow! Cold!" Natsu yanked on the frozen hands, but Gray had him utterly restrained. He loved it! Being trapped, he could go out of control if he had to. He felt safe, and he knew Gray would pleasure him thoroughly.
Gray smirked as he knelt in front of Natsu. His dragon! His captive! He looked up at the flushed cheeks and ran his hands up Natsu's thighs. The Dragon Slayer's cock twitched, eager for attention now. Gray eyed it, exactly as he remembered. Now, it was just them, and they were completely alone. They were not having a quick suck in a hotel courtyard, or playing around with Lucy or Loke. Just them, totally alone, a cave far from anyone. They could be as loud and wild as they wanted.
With a scheming chuckle, Gray blew a stream of frosty air onto Natsu's dick.
"Ah!" he cried out, trying to yank away from the chill, especially after such a hot soak. Gray's mischievous laugh pissed him off a little. He could not do anything to escape even icy torture, and Natsu liked this thrill of being out of control.
"I have to cool down my tea before I drink it," Gray said haughtily, and he blew over Natsu's swollen arousal again until tiny crystals of frost layered his skin.
"Ah!" Natsu wanted to scream from the painful cold, and his hips shook, wishing to escape back into heat. He really did not think he could handle torture like this. "G-Gray!" he warned.
He saw the pain in Natsu's face and stopped before he needed a safeword. "I think you're just the right temperature now."
Gray licked away the frost, and the heat of his tongue made Natsu tense, already dripping with need. Gray took it all into his mouth, sucking languidly. He loved this taste! But he needed more. So much more!
Natsu gasped as Gray grabbed his hips and slammed all the way to the hilt, only to suck slowly off. He set up a relaxed rhythm, eyes closed as he savored it. Natsu shuddered, feeling the hard stone behind him, the air thick with steam and musk and his own sensuality. Yet here in the place he grew up as a child, he felt perfectly safe.
"Just warning you, I'm not going to last long at all."
Gray pulled back to smile up at him. "That's okay. Whenever you need it, I'm ready to drink." He returned his mouth, sucking more.
Natsu had felt slightly hard since waking up that morning, maybe even since the night before. He needed release badly, and his need to pee increased as Gray sucked so vigorously.
"G-Gray!"
Spurred on by whimpers and gasping breaths, Gray sucked faster, slurping messily, slamming Natsu into the back of his throat repeatedly.
Natsu's knees shook, his back bowed, and his toes drew up as he panted desperately. "I'm … I'm…" He could not hold back. "Dammit!"
His world whited out for a moment. Moments flashed by so quickly in his mind, it all blurred. That man's face from the past, Gray slipping ice up his ass with awestruck wonder, his sensual moans, his cold eyes as he paddled Natsu, the tender smile, eyes that screamed their love even if the lips could not say the words.
There was darkness in the past, but Gray had filled his life with so much joy. He was happiest with Gray. He wanted Gray. Always.
Natsu knew Gray had swallowed him down, just as he always did, but he stayed on his knees, the softening cock still in his mouth, waiting patiently. As his heart slowed down and sanity returned, he looked down at the expectant ice wizard.
"Do you really want it all?" he asked.
"Mm-hmm." Gray nodded, bobbing the cock in his mouth. He sucked as he pulled off and let the penis droop. "Come on, Natsu. I know there's piss in there just waiting to come."
"But I—"
"I want it," Gray said sharply.
Natsu closed his eyes, torn between humiliation and wanting to finally give Gray this little kinky perversion he loved so much. His face tensed up, and he let out a soft groan.
"Don't force it," Gray said, concerned by the weird face.
"No, I … I need to go, but you once said you prefer when people don't want to piss. I … I could try to hold back, if that's what you like more," he explained, hoping this was something Gray would like even better, struggling instead of passively giving in, then he added with an awkward shrug, "but I really need to pee now."
Gray looked like he had been hit in the gut. Breathlessly, he begged, "Just say that!"
"Huh?"
"Say it again."
Natsu raised an eyebrow. "I need to pee?"
Again, Gray tensed up as if agonized by a hit. "Nngh, yeah."
He heard Gray's breathing getting ragged, and he smirked. He was reacting much stronger than he had in the past, perhaps because his kinky fetish had been denied for half a year. Natsu decided he simply had to tease Gray. He wiggled his hips and pouted with puppy eyes.
"I really gotta piss."
Gray groaned and reached down to himself as his cock ached at hearing that desperation.
"I gotta go, Gray," he moaned sensually. He wiggled again playfully while struggling against the icy cuffs. "I don't think I'll be able to hold it." He began a little potty dance.
"Yes!" Gray hissed, eyes fixated on the way Natsu was twisting with need.
"Kinky bastard," he chuckled to himself. Still, all the wiggling did not help a truly real need. "I'm ready to go," he warned. However, Gray stood up, glaring down at him with intimidation. "Hey, I'm seriously ready to go. You should get ready if you want it."
Gray smirked and quietly commanded, "Hold it."
"N-no! I'm really ready…"
Gray took hold of Natsu's cock and pressed his thumb over the hole, stopping him. "Hold … it."
Natsu trembled at the domineering demand. "Gray?"
"Not yet."
Natsu steeled himself back, but he really did need to go now. He tried to take his mind off of it, but he heard the dripping in the cave, water slowly plinking into the lake, sounding louder and louder as his need increased. His hips began to shake as the pressure in his bladder grew.
"Gray!" he whimpered, but the Ice-Make wizard increased the pressure of his thumb over his hole, silently showing that he was not going to let Natsu do things his way. Natsu bit his lip as he held back, but the need was growing painful. "I'm trying."
Gray glanced down as something wet slipped past his thumb. "You're dripping."
"I need to go!" he yelled.
"Hold it."
He shook his head, but he felt more dripping past the pressing finger. His face cringed as he smelled it and tears of humiliation lined his eyes.
Gray sneered in carnal pleasure. "That's what I like to see." Natsu under his command, in tears, losing his will to him, tortured but struggling to obey commands. It was a sight that tingled through his entire body, more erotic than anything else.
As Natsu felt more dripping and tensed up tighter, a single tear slipped out. He shook his hips, wanting to just go now, but Gray's thumb would not stop pressing, forcing him to hold back. The bloated feeling in his bladder got more intense, and a sob hiccuped out.
"Bastard," he whispered.
"Hold it!"
"I'm … trying."
He yanked on the icy cuffs, wishing he could reach down to hold himself back. Then suddenly Gray pressed on Natsu's lower stomach, right over the bladder, smirking sadistically. Natsu gasped as the pressure forced a splash of piss past the thumb.
Gray knelt again and licked the drips clinging to Natsu's piss-hardened cock. The tingling pleasure was utter sweet torture.
"Dammit, Gray!" he screamed.
Gray pressed his thumb in tighter. "Not yet."
"I'm gonna piss on your finger, bastard!"
Gray slammed his hand on Natsu's hip, pinning him to the wall, and glared up at him. Slowly, devilishly, he demanded, "Hold … it."
Natsu whimpered and shook his head. He could smell it, and he could feel Gray licking anything that dripped. He stomped his feet, shook his hips, hoping the pressing need would go away, but it only grew worse. His whole body tensed up just trying to keep back the release.
"I can't!" he screamed, just as he felt the struggle give way. "Shit!"
Natsu felt his bladder let loose, and instantly a mouth was around him. As the tension relaxed and flowed away, he felt sucking lips and a gulping throat. He panted and looked down to see Gray in utter ecstasy.
"Fucker," he whispered, part of him angry at Gray for pushing him that far, and part of him amazed at how good it felt to give in to the relief. It was like the release of an orgasm, only it lasted longer.
Gray laughed around his cock and continued to drink him down. When finally it was over, he pulled back with a naughty smile and a lick of his lips.
"You're a jerk," Natsu snapped.
"And you're sexy," Gray purred, rubbing up his thighs. The tearful eyes worried him, though. "Was it okay?"
"This time," he pouted, looking aside in shame. "I'm still not … I mean, I don't mind, but…" The ambivalent look on his face showed that Natsu still thought this was a truly bizarre fetish, but he could let Gray have a harmless kink like this.
"So long as it's okay for you."
Natsu scoffed dismissively. "It's just you being a jerk like usual. Can you ditch the ice cuffs?"
"Oh! Yeah, of course."
Gray raised to his feet and freed him. Natsu scowled as he pulled away and rubbed his wrists. Gray tried to caress the sour face, but Natsu yanked back. He still felt ashamed, but he also looked up, worried if it was okay, if Gray liked it, if that sacrifice to his pride was what Gray truly wanted.
Gray saw the uncertainty in Natsu's eyes and suddenly yanked him in. "Come here."
He wrapped Natsu up in his arms, petting his head, soothing the shame away, and letting Natsu find some sense of comfort in cuddling him. He placed a soft kiss on Natsu's head and ran his hands up and down his back.
"Thank you," Gray whispered. "I know it's not your thing, but … thank you."
Natsu felt better being embraced so tenderly. He knew that had not just been Gray being a jerk, but his own perverted way of showing love. "I'm not into that, but…" His head raised, and a smile wavered on his lips. "…I like seeing how much you're into it."
He grabbed Gray back and snuggled into the crook of his neck. He really had been much more focused on giving Gray what he wanted than anything else. It was also his way to show love, to show that he accepted Gray, kinks and all. He accepted a side of Gray probably no one else would, just as Gray fully accepted him and his limitations. Natsu sighed in bliss that they were back together, like two pieces of a bizarre puzzle. Relief filled the place of humiliation, like warm heat spreading through a cold room.
Hardly thinking, Natsu muttered, "I love you."
Gray smiled but struggled with what he could say back. "You know how I feel."
"I know." Natsu frowned at himself for putting Gray on the spot again. "Sorry if I keep saying it—"
"Shut up," he cut in. "I like hearing you say it. I just don't know how to reply." He squeezed Natsu closer and rested his head on top of the pink hair. "I care for you … so deeply. I want everything about you, all the good, all the bad, the delicious and the disgusting." He shook his head in wry amusement. "I'm a really greedy bastard."
"I'm the same way."
"Damn right you are!"
That made Natsu chuckle. He horded like a dragon, after all. "I don't have that kink, but I want everything about you, too." Natsu licked up the vein pulsing along Gray's neck. "Everything," he sighed, and he gave small bites and licks down to his chest. He planted one kiss over Gray's heart, then looked up with a smile.
"Natsu," Gray sighed in amazement. He started to lean in to kiss him.
Natsu yanked away with a disgusted look. "Um … can you wash out your mouth?" He cringed, worried about being insensitive. "Sorry."
Gray politely pulled back, knowing he had to do only what Natsu felt comfortable doing. He was okay with Gray swallowing his piss, but he did not want to taste it himself, and Gray had to respect that. He turned aside and looked around. He figured the lake was the best bet for clean water.
"The water's really safe, right?"
"Yeah."
Gray scooped up a handful of lake water, gargled, and spit onto the rocks. He turned back around and shrugged, wondering if that was enough. Natsu walked forward and wrapped his arms around the Ice-Make wizard.
"Some things never change, you pervert."
Gray took Natsu's chin and tipped it up. "My feelings for you will also never change."
Natsu's mouth dropped in shock, but Gray immediately leaned over to kiss him. His hands slid up and down Natsu's body, and he felt the arousal beginning to stir again.
Suddenly, Natsu grabbed Gray and slammed him to the cave wall, thrusting up hard against him and biting his lip. Gray moaned loudly. Yes! He had missed Natsu's bites. When Lucy tried to bite his lip, Gray instinctively felt the need to stop her. He had told her, Only one man bites me.
Only Natsu.
"Only you."
Natsu yanked back breathlessly. "What?"
Gray smirked at him. "Only you can bite me."
A lusty sneer rippled over Natsu's lips, and suddenly he dug his teeth into Gray's shoulder. The Ice-Make wizard shouted and cursed at the pain. The bite deepened, and he felt his skin break. Gray's scream echoed through the cavern, bouncing over the lake, trembling the calm waters. Meanwhile, Natsu licked calmly, smearing blood over his tongue. As soon as he licked the dripping blood, the wound began to heal.
"Dragon lust spit." Gray laughed weakly while shaking from the pain. "Fuck, I forgot about that."
Natsu pulled back, and Gray swore his eyes were glowing. Blood painted his lips, colored his snarling teeth, and smeared down his chin. He looked vicious, and Gray's heart raced with instinctive terror. Then Natsu's tongue licked the blood off his lips, and Gray just about had an orgasm right there. Damn, he loved it when Natsu acted like the wild dragon he was! It made taming the dragon even sweeter.
He saw Natsu's fangs bare, and Gray cringed as he dived in. He felt the sharp teeth sink into him again, closer to the neck this time, and cursed in pain.
"Whoa, watch the arteries!" he cried out, remembering all too vividly what happened last time.
"I know," Natsu snarled, licking as soon as the blood dripped. He still felt the healing power pulsing through his blood, but it was waning as his hormones calmed back down. "It's not enough," he growled. "You haven't come. I wanna taste you after you've come." He looked up with fiery yet worried eyes. "Can I?"
Chills at the starved look trembled through Gray. "Hell yes!" He saw Natsu going in for another bite and grabbed his cheek, stopping him. "Gimme a bit of a break. That frickin' hurts!"
"Sorry." Natsu pulled back and wiped his reddened chin. "I just missed your taste."
"I know," he said, fully understanding. He laughed at the oddity. "I like your piss; you like my blood. We're both so messed up." Still, it was nice to know that Natsu wanted him so badly. He wanted Natsu, too. He wanted more of this feral, wild side. Gray loved being the sadist, but only because Natsu was so aggressive normally. "Um … hey."
Natsu had been simply licking Gray's throat, but he yanked back in worry. "Wh-what?"
Gray bit his lip. He knew already, he really should not ask this. "How … safe do you feel?"
Natsu looked confused. "Being here, pretty safe. Really, I'm okay," he swore frantically. "I'm not gonna bite you again if you don't want it. I won't lose control ever again."
"No, I mean … do you feel…?" He broke off and looked aside, trying to find the words. He really, really, should not be asking.
"Feel what?"
Gray nibbled his lip, but then he looked up firmly. "You can tell me no," he said sharply, but then struggled to say more. "Do you feel safe enough to … t-to maybe … want to top?"
Natsu's eyes grew huge. "Whuh? Me?"
"You don't have to," Gray quickly assured him.
He looked aside in hesitation. Him? Topping? So soon?
Gray knew he was going to push Natsu's boundaries, and he hated himself for being this inconsiderate, especially when he had promised himself not to push their limits. "Sorry—"
"You really want me to?" Natsu suddenly asked.
Gray jolted that he was even considering it. It was a horrible plan, after all, fraught with all sorts of dangers for them as a couple. "It was just an idea. I'm okay doing it, of course, but I thought … you said you feel really safe here, so … maybe…" His voice faded with all the doubts swirling in his head. "Look, if it's a bad idea, forget it." He turned aside and cursed at himself. He never should have said anything!
However, Natsu seemed to be seriously weighing the request. "Maybe … just try it?" he whispered. "No expectations?"
"Of course not," Gray assured him. "We'll just give it a try, and we'll stop right away. I don't want to push you." He turned away again and muttered, "I shouldn't even be asking."
"N-no." Natsu looked determined now. "I need to learn to trust myself. That's what my therapist keeps telling me. And … and you trust me." He said it, but he looked hopeful, wanting confirmation.
Gray turned back to him with a gentle smile. "I totally trust you."
Natsu was happy to hear that, but he still cringed. He flopped onto the ground, pulled his knees up, and grumbled as he scowled over the lake. "I just wish I fully trusted myself."
That was the biggest hurdle. He had killed a man—many people—in the past. Trusting himself was not easy.
Gray sat beside him and wrapped Natsu up in his arms, hoping to show that he fully and completely trusted him. "We'll do whatever you want, and only as much as you want. However is best."
"O-okay."
Natsu looked up at him and saw confidence from Gray, but also regret. Gray knew he was pushing limits, and he felt guilty. So far, Natsu still felt safe, and with that security came confidence. If it was here … this cave, at this time, when they were just getting back together, when they were both feeling out boundaries, and Natsu did not have to feel obligated to do anything at all … maybe this was the best timing.
Without any warning, he grabbed Gray's shoulders and flipped him, surging up on top so suddenly, Gray was left with his mouth gaping open.
"What?" the ice wizard asked, shocked at the attack.
"I … wanna…" Natsu shook his head, banishing the timidity. He needed to be certain or it would certainly end in failure. "I want to start off on top," he decided. "Then I can pull off if I need to."
Gray chuckled, already liking the aggressiveness. It was both sexy and adorable. "Sure, whatever position works."
Natsu nodded, pretty certain that like this, it would be best. He could back out of it as soon as he sensed a problem, rather than panicking under Gray. He was fully in control, which he needed to be in order to have confidence in himself. However, as he looked down between the two of them, he realized one serious problem.
"We don't have any lube."
"Can you wait a minute?" Gray rolled up to his feet and walked over to the towels he had brought down. He pulled out a little bottle hidden inside the fluffy folds.
"You brought it?" Natsu had to laugh that Gray was already prepared for sex.
"Of course. I was being hopeful." Gray held the bottle out, but Natsu just stared down at it. Gray's eyebrow lifted as the Dragon Slayer did not move. Slowly, he pulled the bottle back. "Should I prep myself?"
Natsu jolted. "Oh!" He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry. Nervous."
"It's fine." Gray sat back down on the stone ground. He squirted a bit of thick fluid onto his fingers, then set the bottle aside for the moment and wrapped an arm around Natsu, yanking him to the stone floor and resting his head on the warm chest. "Here. I'm gonna cuddle you."
"Cuddle?" Natsu asked in surprise. "I thought you were going to prep yourself."
"Yeah. I'm gonna hold you with this hand…" His free arm stretched over the warm chest. "…reach back…" The lubed finger slid around behind, and luckily his arms were long enough to reach his ass. "Yeah, this will work." He sighed in happiness, listening to Natsu's racing heart. Just lying like this was peaceful. "I really am glad you're back."
Natsu relaxed and stared up at the shimmering stalactites. "Me, too."
Gray raised his head up, leaned over, and kissed Natsu, softly at first, then bolder. As hot hands caressed his body, Gray let out a sensual hum. "I missed you. Mmm … missed you."
They laid on their sides, tongues lapping at each others, hands clutching, enjoying simply making out. Natsu nipped Gray's lower lip again, getting a heady moan out of him. Then Gray stretched his arm a bit more, lifted one knee to make better room, and slipped his finger inside. The initial pinch of being spread made him groan in a moment of pain.
"Gray?" Natsu asked in concern.
"Fine," he grunted, and his free hand pulled at Natsu's hair, yanking his mouth in closer.
Natsu shivered. Gray was fingering himself just for him, because he wanted him. It was amazing to think about. Gray wanted him, trusted him, and although he was a sadist who had showed his cruel streak just a moment ago, he also wanted this, to bottom, to be taken by him. He wanted Natsu to make love to him.
"Gray," Natsu sighed between moist kisses, so deeply in love and wanting to give Gray everything he ever dreamed of. If Gray wanted the thrill of watching Natsu desperate to pee, Natsu would face the humility of wetting himself. If Gray wanted to tie him up and fuck him senseless, Natsu would hand him the rope and moan like a whore. If Gray wanted Natsu to top … he sure as hell would give it his best effort.
Natsu heard the hitch in Gray's voice as he added another finger, stretching himself so they would be ready for this. Natsu opened his eyes in the midst of the kiss and saw the furrow in Gray's sweat-dripping forehead. It was somehow endearing to know that Gray was willing to experience a bit of pain as well just so they could take turns.
However, Natsu wanted it to be pleasurable as well. He reached between their bodies to where Gray was grinding into his lower stomach. He grabbed both of their cocks and stroked them together.
Gray yanked up, moaning loudly at the sweet friction. "Ooh, that feels good. Your hands are so hot." He still kept thrusting at Natsu, humping into his hand now, while pressing his fingers in deeper.
"Can I lick you?" Natsu asked, seeing the sweat dripping along Gray's jaw.
"Anything!" he groaned.
Natsu now lifted himself, and Gray rolled back, keeping his legs up so he could continue to finger himself. Natsu caged him in with his arms, looking down in fascination at the flushed cheeks and wide-blown eyes shimmering with desire. Gray's smell was everywhere now, seeming to fill the whole cave, thick and intoxicating, the musk of a snowy forest here in the heart of the Fire Dragon King's volcano.
He licked over the abs, feeling with his tongue how they tensed and relaxed. He lapped up the sweat between Gray's pectorals, then ventured over to lick his nipple.
Gray let out a groan, and his spine arched up in pleasure. He felt the heat of that tongue dance over his skin, leaving behind wonderful coolness. Especially as Natsu seemed to get caught up in the taste of his skin, his quick panting blew over the trails of saliva, cooling Gray off in the midst of such oppressive humidity.
However, then Gray felt a hold on his wrist. He looked up and saw Natsu with stern eyes, not saying anything, but giving a slight tug on the hand in his ass. Was he ready for this? Gray smiled, proud of him and privately eager to see Natsu top. His dreams over the past six months had increasingly been filled with Natsu's dangerous glare and snarling taunts. He could hardly help but at least ask if Natsu wanted it. More than anything else, Gray wanted to feel his ass spread by that fiery cock. He wanted to know for certain that Natsu truly wanted him.
He eased his fingers out, about to tell him to use plenty of lube, when Natsu grabbed both of Gray's wrists and pinned his arms above his head, straddling over him and glaring down, narrow green slits simmering like a magical fire.
Defiantly, Gray pulled on his wrists, but Natsu kept him pinned down. His hand heated up, punishing the ice wizard for resisting. Gray's eyes widened. Definitely not how he thought Natsu would take him, but it was hot as fuck!
A smirk curled into Natsu's face. He leaned over slowly, holding Gray's awestruck gaze, but then focused to the side. His lips kissed and tongue dragged along Gray's upper arm, from the elbow pinned above his head down to his armpit. When Natsu licked Gray's armpit, the ice wizard yanked hard in surprise.
"Whoa!" he cried out, tugging at the restraining fist.
"Here, too," Natsu insisted, and he gave another tiny lick into the center of the pit.
"W-wait!" he screamed, squirming violently.
Natsu's weight dropped, crushing down Gray's wiggling body. He glowered at the attempts to break free. "Here … too."
Gray froze at the commanding tone and cursed in his head. It was sweaty there, possibly smelly, and … and if Natsu licked there more … he shivered at the humiliating thought.
Natsu saw Gray calming down and smiled in satisfaction. He knew where Gray's natural smell was strongest. Right here, the armpit. It was sweat and musk and pure Fullbuster taste. He leaned over again and licked.
"Nngh, Natsu," he moaned.
The Dragon Slayer felt feeble squirming from Gray and ignored it. He knew how to stop it with a safeword, and besides, he had his fill of weird kinks earlier. Now Natsu wanted this smell and salty taste.
"Ahh!"
Natsu jolted up at the shriek, but instead of pain he saw utter humiliation. Gray bit his lip, hoping to hold back any other noises. Natsu realized what it was.
"Ticklish?"
"Shut up," he grumbled with a pout.
Natsu grinned and leaned over to the other armpit, licking there as well and sending Gray into a fit of laughs. He squirmed and tried to yank away, blushing and giggling.
"You're ticklish there," he cried out, excited to figure this out.
"Shut up!" he shouted. Damn, this was the worst, humiliating himself by being ticklish. He wanted no more, and his eyes showed that this was not arousing. Natsu politely backed off, let go of the wrists, and instead rubbed his hands up and down Gray's torso, feeling the slipperiness of sweat.
"I should be good, if you want," Gray told him, and Natsu nodded yes. Gray rolled his hips up and pulled in his knees, giving easy access. He even held his butt cheeks apart to make this as easy as possible. Then he looked up at Natsu. "Like this?"
Natsu gazed down at him. Gray really did want him. He needed to trust himself, though.
'I can do this. I can do this! I'm getting better, and he trusts me. It's safe here. It's safe! It was always safe here. I was always … safe. The darkness never came here, ever. I'm safe.'
Gray saw Natsu just staring in silence. "Um … are you all right?"
Breathlessly, yet struggling to keep his confidence, he nodded. "Yeah, I think so."
"If it's at all bad, we'll stop. I won't push you, and don't push yourself. We'll just see where we are." He rubbed up and down Natsu's arms, smiling up with confidence. "Just testing the waters again."
Testing the waters, no different than returning to this cave and testing the lake. Things might be different after such a long time. He would never know until he tested it out.
"All right," Natsu agreed.
Gray was relieved to see that Natsu looked calm. As he lubed his cock, Gray saw a passiveness that Natsu never showed before. Their first time trying this, Natsu had panicked the whole time, and Gray was not aware enough to know when to stop until it was truly traumatic. Other times, Natsu knew he would react bad but forced himself to try it anyway. This time, he looked calm, maybe not fully confident, but Gray saw that Natsu was going to try this purely as an experiment. If it worked, wonderful, but if it didn't … he was ready to face that.
After rubbing lube on, Natsu looked down at Gray, silently asking if he was okay.
"Yeah," he breathed, spreading his thighs more.
Natsu seemed ready, but he hesitated again. "Do you really trust me?"
Gray gave him a confident smile and swore, "With my whole soul."
Natsu sighed in relief and blurted out, "I love you." He suddenly froze up, realizing Gray might feel uncomfortable hearing that. "Uh … sorry."
"No," he said with a passive smile, and although he could not say it back, he said the next best thing. "Same." It was something his therapist had suggested. Admit to the emotion, even if the words refused to pass his lips.
Natsu's face broke into a giddy smile. He felt the same. Exactly the same. In love! "I like hearing that," he admitted, blushing brightly. "Just that."
That wonderful look on Natsu's face show to Gray, without any doubt … he had to get over this phobia so he could tell Natsu properly. For now, he was getting closer. He felt no fears in at least admitting he felt the same.
Still, he tried to shrug it off, feeling awkward, stuck in this position, ass spread, with Natsu looking like an excited puppy now. He mumbled bashfully, "Well, I can say that much."
"It's plenty," Natsu assured him. He caressed Gray's cheek, so proud of his progress. Now it was time to see how much better he himself had gotten. He reached down, gripped himself, and looked at what was waiting for him. "All right."
It was just putting his penis into something. He was not going to come into that space. Just like how Lucy had Natsu gag Gray with his cock, he was simply inserting it into his ass. Nothing more. Nothing more!
Natsu calmed himself, and slowly he pressed in. He had to steady himself as Gray was slow to spread, but gradually he sank into his lover's body, merging with him, two becoming one.
"A-ah," moaned Gray.
Natsu's cock was hot, and instead of all the times he was the one doing the taking, this time Natsu set the pace. Maybe it was a little faster than he liked, he wished Natsu would give him slightly longer to adjust—his cock was frigging huge after all—but still … he was being taken! He wanted this, wanted Natsu to claim him, to feel that fullness inside, and to help Natsu get over his nightmarish past.
However, Gray realized that Natsu's face was strained. He stared a little too intensely at where their bodies merged. A furrow shadowed between his brows.
"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.
"I'm good," he said with a smile, finally meeting Gray's eyes only to see the concern. "Are you feeling all right?"
"Yeah." He felt incredible! Natsu was making love to him! Well, at least Natsu had entered him. They got this far in the past. It was time to see how far they could go now.
Natsu also realized, simply inserting his cock was not enough. He had to do something now. He gulped and looked down again to where his tuft of pink hair tickled the bottom on Gray's balls.
"I'm … gonna move."
This was the hard part. He pulled back and saw the shine of lube on his cock as it slid out. Gray moaned, and Natsu tried to let that pleasure be all that mattered. Then he pressed back in, and Gray's sensual voice echoed through the cave.
It was incredible!
And it was terrifying!
Natsu had a very slow, deliberate pace, in and out, cautious but determined. Gray opened his eyes and saw the focus in his eyes.
"Ah … that's good," he assured, tensing his hands on Natsu's hips to pull him in deeper. Natsu gave a soft whimper, and when Gray looked up again, the focus in his eyes was fading, being replaced with a cringe. "You're doing good." His back arched up as he moaned. "Ugh … real good."
Something dark was just on the edge of Natsu's mind. He wanted this to be just about pleasing Gray, but there were memories, horrors, dark moments that never fully went away. A vile laugh rang through his head, and Natsu came to a full stop.
"Gray?" He felt like he had utterly failed; however, he had promised not to push himself. "Can I pull out?"
"Of course."
Natsu pulled back, almost in tears, and looked down at himself. He shook his head in frustration. He really had hoped that here, in this place, he could do this, yet the darkness was still there to haunt him.
Suddenly, he was yanked down by strong arms. Natsu yelped in surprise, but Gray wrapped him up in excitement.
"Natsu! That was amazing!"
"Whuh?" How was that amazing? It was awful! He failed!
Gray hugged Natsu's head against his chest, cradling him close. "You did well," he praised. "You managed to be on top out of your own free will."
"For less than a minute," he whined, hating himself for his weakness.
"Still, you never would have been able to do even that much at the beginning, right?"
Natsu froze and thought back to that time when even ejaculating, no matter the circumstances, was a terrifying ordeal, and he had to make-believe that he was being focused against his will just to give in to pleasure. Actually taking pleasure … that was impossible back then. Natsu had issues with just the thought of putting his cock inside something. He did it once, when Gray was changed into a female body, but that had been dark, dangerous, and terrifying, not loving at all. This time, although it was brief, he had put it in all on his own, and although the darkness was there, he had not freaked out.
"That was good," Gray praised, petting his head. "You're incredible, how much you've improved!"
Natsu felt his cheeks getting hotter from the approval. "Gray?"
He pulled back, still beaming a proud smile.
Natsu blushed awkwardly, but said with a slightly different tone to his voice, "Kainushi?"
Gray shivered at the name that called out to his dominant self.
Natsu leaned up and whispered in lust, "Your turn." He pawed at Gray, enticing him to take over. "I want you, kainushi."
Gray stared in awe for only three seconds before he slammed Natsu to the ground, feeling desire bubbling up as he sidled up between his legs. Natsu gasped at the roughness, but then grinned at getting him riled up so easily. He knew calling Gray that name would beckon the sadist back.
"Do it," he urged.
Gray wanted to slam in there, just as he had done their first time, but he knew that would hurt. He grabbed the lube and opened the cap. "You need prepped."
Natsu grabbed his wrist before Gray could lubricate his fingers. "I want it. Now!"
Gray still squirt on some lube and quickly rubbed it onto his cock. There was no way he would go in dry. Natsu lifted his legs and rolled his hips, presenting himself fully. Gray looked down at the entrance waiting for him.
Damn, it had been a long time since he was in there!
Then, watching to see if it was too painful, he pressed in. Natsu was tight, his spine arched, he cried out sensually, but Gray felt the passageway loosen for him.
"N-Natsu!" He felt as if that fiery abyss was swallowing him whole.
"Gray." He forced himself to relax more, and he felt Gray slipping inside deeper, aiming to get it all in. "Nnngh … I miss this. Been so long." A tear slipped out of the side of Natsu's eye. "So long," he whispered.
How long had it been? When was the last time Gray had penetrated him? He tried to think back, but those had been some dark days near the end.
Natsu groaned as Gray went in deeper, spreading him wider, until he felt their hips bump. He was all in, and they both waited there, catching their breath. Gray leaned his head down, resting their foreheads together as he let Natsu adjust. He sighed in amazement.
Damn, he loved this man! He felt it in his heart, screaming in his soul, but the words refused to form. He remembered though … he could love things about Natsu.
And he did.
He loved everything about him!
As he set up a slow, shallow thrusting, he looked down in awe. "I love feeling inside you."
Natsu's heart skipped at hearing Gray say that word again. Love! "Me too. I love it," he agreed, hoping to encourage Gray through his fear of that word. "And … and I can hold you." His fingers racked through Gray's hair, brushing it off his sweating forehead. Gray looked down at him, their eyes lingered, and Natsu sank into that blue gaze. He caressed Gray's cheeks, wanting to simply cling to him. "I like being able to touch you like this."
"Yeah," he smiled back, enjoying Natsu's tender caresses. "I miss tying you up, though."
"You can do that another time." Natsu realized Gray was still being slow and gentle. It was thoughtful of him, but Natsu's body craved more. "You can go faster."
"Really?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah." The lust burned in his eyes. Natsu wanted to own it all.
Gray lurched forward, slamming in. Natsu cried out, but he grabbed Gray's hips, pulling him to go even deeper. Gray pounded in, again and again. He watched Natsu's body tensing and squirming. He watched where their bodies merged, plunging into him, and pre-cum dripping from his cock onto his belly. He began to stroke Natsu, slathering around the clear drips, and the Dragon Slayer roared at the pleasure.
"Gray … I love you," he keened. "Nngh … dammit."
He was already about to come again, but he wanted to wait. He was enjoying the stretching in his ass too much, the feel of Gray's body above him, and the pure pleasure he had missed so much. Gray thrust all the way in and stroked Natsu's full length at the same time.
Something dark flashed through Natsu's mind. No! Not now! He didn't want those memories! Not at a time like this, not when things were going so well.
Gray's mouth hung open, moaning from the pleasure.
A jaw hung open loosely. NO!
Moans. Thrusts. The cries echoed through a dark room. STOP IT!
A drop of water hit the lake behind him, rippling the smooth surface.
Blood dripped in a puddle. NO! MAKE IT STOP!
"Dammit!" he sneered. Natsu patted Gray's chest, making him look down. Feeling on edge and depressed with defeat, he growled, "Ice my hands."
Gray came to a full stop. His eyes had been closed, lost to the pleasure. He forgot to keep an eye on Natsu. He saw now that he was pale and looked sick. "If you're bad—"
"N-no. Just … please." There was no way he wanted to stop, but he could no longer trust himself. The flashbacks had returned, as they always did.
Gray frowned, but then his face went stubborn. "Hold my hands."
"Whuh?" Before Natsu could ask, Gray grabbed his hand, threaded their fingers together. In a flash of magic, ice crystallized over both of their hands. "Ah! Cold! Cold, cold!"
"Natsu," he said sternly, but his eyes softened. He leaned over and whispered soothingly into his ear. "We're going to make love … holding hands."
He looked up in shock, and a tear came to his eye. "Gray."
He gave a nod, showing him to trust him. Then Gray thrust in.
Natsu cried out. However, in the midst of the ice, he felt Gray's fingers squeeze his hand. He looked over at their bound grips. He was still holding onto Gray, still clutching one another, except he felt safe again.
He flinched hard as some memory flashed through his mind, but the ice brought him back to the present, along with a tighter squeeze from Gray. He forced his eyes open and looked up. Gray was watching him closely now, although his mouth still hung open, panting, sweating, growing weary from exertion, yet he kept going.
"I miss feeling you," Gray moaned as he thrust in and out. "Miss feeling inside you."
"Gray! I'm … I'm close."
"You can bite me," he said. "Go ahead."
Natsu gasped softly. He remembered! "Are you sure?"
"Yeah," he said, and he stretched his neck to the side, giving him plenty of room. "Go ahead."
Natsu looked at his skin. The smell was there, stronger, building rapidly. He wanted to taste Gray through the whole thing. He leaned up and bit hard. Gray cried out at the sharp pain, but he did not stop thrusting. He was also close, so very close, and pain no longer mattered in the midst of all this pleasure. Even when he saw some of his blood dripping down onto Natsu's chest, he did not stop the force of his hips.
"Tastes so good," Natsu moaned, able to tell the increase of Gray's hormones by the sweetness in the blood. He felt his own body reacting strongly to the taste, drawing up, ready to release. "Don't you dare stop!"
"Inside or outside?" Gray asked quickly.
"Huh?"
"Cum." He panted, barely able to speak through a parched throat. "Inside or no?"
Natsu hesitated for a moment. Shit! They forgot a condom.
"Outside," Gray decided for him.
"Well, if … i-if you want—"
"Shut up. Just … nnngh … shut up!"
Gray kept pounding in, driven into a frenzy by desperate need. He felt Natsu's scalding mouth latch back onto his neck. Gray suddenly slapped his hands together above Natsu's head and unfroze one of his hands while icing both of Natsu's together, one hand still clenched to the burning fingers.
Natsu felt Gray let go of one hand and the strained position. "Gray?"
"Lick me!" he shouted as he pulled out of Natsu's ass.
Gray reached down and grabbed both of their cocks, stroking them together. Natsu moaned, but he attacked the bleeding bite, wanting to taste that crucial moment.
Gray's face drew up as he felt tension tightening, tauter, ready to snap. Natsu's teeth bit again, probably not meaning to, but Gray felt moisture on his fingers and a muffled groan as Natsu came. He realized the Dragon Slayer's cum was all over his hands.
He was stroking his cock with Natsu's cum!
And that erotic thought snapped all the tension apart. Gray let out guttural huffs, and he heard Natsu shuddering in delight.
"Oh, that tastes … nnngh, good." He licked the blood and tasted, smelled, saw, felt, heard everything! He lapped up the coppery drips, and the taste became smoother, still sweet, but sated. "Ooh, Gray."
As the tongue dipped into one of the punctures, Gray flinched. His eyes opened lazily, and he saw blood on Natsu's chest dripping down from his neck. Wearily and getting dizzy, he warned, "You better heal that."
Natsu already felt the hormones flooding his own blood, and as he licked, the wound was closing up. Soon, the taste was gone. He saw the skin had grown over, but he still licked, hoping to completely heal him, even the bruise. Satisfied, he laid back on the stone floor and smiled up at Gray.
"You're not bleeding."
"All right," he nodded, disoriented and too tired to move yet. "Does it taste good?"
Natsu nodded in perfect satisfaction. "Real good."
Gray smiled. The idiot still had blood on his chin, and Gray realized he did not mind one bit. He leaned over and kissed Natsu. The copper taste was actually not bad. Not his thing, but the lightheaded euphoria was pretty damn awesome, a special bonus in a way.
Gray freed their hands and rolled off in exhaustion. He laid on his back, feeling the damp, cold stone floor under him, and stared up at the glittering curtains of stones. He did not want to move, not even a little.
Natsu was the one who got up, grabbed a wash cloth, and cleaned both of them. He washed away the cum and blood and gently rubbed the wet cloth over Gray's stomach to clean up the cum that had squished between them. Once their hands and torsos were clean, he delicately washed Gray's cock, then wiped his ass with the cloth, scrubbing away the lube and a tiny bit of blood from a tear. He threw the filthy cloth into the stone basin and returned to Gray's side, cuddling into him. Gray's arm wrapped him up, and Natsu rested on his chest, listening to his heart gradually slowing down.
"Why did you do that?" Natsu asked suddenly. "Pull out?" he clarified. "You didn't have to."
"I want us to be equals." Gray kept his eyes up at the cave ceiling, mindlessly petting Natsu's fluffy hair. "From here on out, we're equals in this. Even if we do our kinky stuff," he said with a smile for the Dragon Slayer, "I want you to know that I think of you as an equal to me."
Natsu's mouth dropped, and heat flooded his chest. "Gray." It was what he had often wanted, to not feel like he was submissive, or somehow inferior, but an equal who just so happened to be a masochist.
"Besides," Gray shrugged, "cleanup would have been a pain in the ass. Literally. I'd rather spend the time cuddling you."
"Cuddling me?" he asked, surprised again at Gray's sudden penchant for romantic cuddling. It was definitely one of many changes since six months ago.
"I miss doing that." Gray ran his hand through Natsu's hair and closed his eyes, content and sleepy.
Natsu hummed in happiness. They laid there, and in not even a minute Natsu realized Gray was drifting off.
"Is the heat getting to you?"
"Definitely," he muttered on the edge of consciousness.
Natsu chuckled at hearing his fragile snowman so exhausted. "We should get some water as well. I wouldn't want my ice princess to dehydrate."
Gray felt too tired to argue. "So, are you feeling better?"
"Yeah." Natsu laughed with joy and rolled on top, straddling Gray's hips. "Are you feeling good?"
He grinned up at his boyfriend. "Definitely!"
"I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"Nope," Gray assured him, but smirked slyly. "Your cock isn't big enough to hurt."
"You bastard!" He hit Gray's chest, and the ice wizard laughed. He simply had to tease Natsu, especially since his cock was a monster. "But … was it okay, pulling out early? I just still…" He bit his lower lip in shame and looked aside. "I have that issue."
"It's fine," Gray assured him. "We're just testing the waters. We'll see where we are, but we won't push each other."
Natsu nodded to the plan, but he still frowned. "Sometimes I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I can come inside something."
"You will," Gray said without a doubt in his mind.
They had both come so far in this fight. They would one day win their personal battles. They were Fairy Tail! They didn't know the meaning of quitting or slowing down. They simply got stronger and kept going forward.
"I was thinking about that," he admitted. "What if you built up to it?"
Natsu raised his head off Gray's chest. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you can come in my mouth so long as I swallow and it's not usable. You're okay if you know the cum will be destroyed. What if you used something that's meant to be destroyed?"
Natsu tipped his head to the side. "Huh?"
"What if we bought something—a sex toy."
Natsu already cringed at this plan.
"We buy it for the sole purpose of burning it, but before setting it on fire, we use it on you and—"
"Gray!" he shouted over him, glaring and shaking his head.
Gray closed his mouth. "Pushing too far?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry."
He wrapped Natsu back up in his arms. It had been something he thought about over the past few months, but he supposed some things were completely beyond what Natsu could handle. He just had to let Natsu be the one to make the decisions. He knew himself best, after all, so he would know if a plan was sure to fail. Gray had to trust that Natsu knew his limits and not push those limits.
Natsu hesitated before saying more. "There is an idea my therapist has been suggesting, but I still need time."
An idea? Gray instantly perked up. "What is it?"
Natsu's mouth pouted one way, then the other, and after a long pause he confessed, "Giving in to the fear."
Gray tried to process that. Giving in? To fear? "What do you mean?"
A few moments of awkward silence passed as Natsu gathered his thoughts. "That man … was collecting my cum to be used for breeding. My therapist thought, instead of fearing that … what if I want it?"
None of this made sense yet to Gray. Breeding? Wanting it? "What?"
Natsu's cheeks began to turn pink. "Basically, I would build up to the point where I … I want to breed … with you." He cringed as he looked over at Gray, worried what he might think about this crazed plan.
Gray stared back, still confused, face blank, until finally it all clicked. His eyes grew massive in shock. Oh … oh! In other words, breeding instead of fucking. Having sex in order to have kids.
Wait.
What the fuck?
"That's not really possible, is it?" he asked skeptically.
"No!" Natsu shouted.
"I mean, there's not some weird Dragon Slayer shit thing that goes on, right?"
"What, you think we can get pregnant? We're both guys, stupid!"
Gray exclaimed, "You have spit that heals after sex! What if other stuff changes?"
"I'm human, dammit."
Gray arched an eyebrow. Everyone knew Dragon Slayers were different from average humans, with their specialized lungs, appetites for weird things, enhanced smell and hearing, motion sickness, the healing lust-spit, Dragon Force, and who knew what other changes happened to their bodies. Especially Natsu! He could hardly help but be at least slightly worried that Natsu would have some weird going into heat phase that would lead to something bizarre.
Natsu rolled his eyes at Gray's skepticism. "Hormones in my spit and special lungs for breath attacks are different from growing a whole uterus inside me. Just because I know dragon slaying magic, it doesn't change my reproductive system."
"R-right." He supposed that made sense. Still, Natsu was human but … not like humans. How was he supposed to know what additional changes happened to these guys?
Luckily, Natsu just laughed at him. He could hardly blame Gray for being at least a little dubious. There was plenty of things about Dragon Slayers and their abilities that Natsu had not known about when Igneel left. He learned as he grew up and met other Dragon Slayers. Still, what Natsu was talking about was not about him getting pregnant, but about Gray. Obviously, Natsu being a Dragon Slayer could not make Gray conceive a child.
"I mean mentally. It'd be a slow, emotional process between us, building trust, building a desire for a family, and once that groundwork is set, mentally … I would want to breed, to mate, to…" His hands gestured as he tried to phrase this right. "…in a weird and totally impossible way … I would want to … to get you pregnant … and thinking that to myself, maybe … maybe it'd let me actually finish inside you."
Gray understood it now. It was still bizarre, but it was also brilliant. "And he's suggesting this?"
"As a way of maybe, possibly, overcoming it." Natsu saw Gray's eyes drifting off as he thought over this theoretical scenario. "Is it too weird?"
"No," Gray muttered, thinking back to many months ago. "Actually, I had a dream about that, and in the dream you said you … you wanted to get me pregnant."
Natsu instantly cheered up to hear that Gray had also thought about this sort of mental therapy. "And I made love to you like that?"
"Yeah."
He grinned enthusiastically, but instantly felt a twinge of worry. "Was it a good dream?"
He laughed at that apprehension. "From what I remember, yeah."
It was good! A dream of him topping, of wanting kids, was actually a good dream! "You'd want it?"
He caressed Natsu's hair, enjoying the fluffiness. "I want you."
Natsu blushed and looked away to hide just how happy he felt to hear that. Gray wanted him! He had feared that pushing Gray aside would damn their relationship and they would never be able to get back to the closeness they had before. Instead, that time apart seemed to have brought them even closer. Gray was actually saying and doing things that were romantic, which had been his weak point before. How often had he said that Natsu was the romantic one. Yet here he was, wanting to cuddle, wanting to pet his hair, saying he might even want children, or at least he wanted Natsu as a mate.
Awkwardly, Natsu admitted, "I'm not at that point. I want to be with you," he assured, "I want to start dating again, but that … that's really serious."
"Yes, but … I want to reach that point," Gray candidly confessed.
Natsu felt a shiver. Gray wanted it! Wanted children! Or at least, he wanted to get to the point of wanting a family with Natsu. Still … he wanted it.
"Me, too," Natsu admitted emotionally.
He, at least, had thought about it. He could imagine raising Happy with Gray, and maybe someday in the future, adopting a child, just like how Igneel had adopted him, teaching the child to be a Dragon Slayer, or maybe an Ice-Make user, whatever natural gift the child might have. He had dreams about some faceless toddler running and laughing, calling out to Papa Natsu and Papa Gray.
"But you're right," Gray said, pulling him out of the fantasy. "It's a serious issue, and it also means you'd want me … for life."
Gray knew just how serious having a family was. His parents had been wholly dedicated to their family, to him, so much so that they sacrificed their lives for his future. He knew all too well that raising a family together meant wanting to be with one another for a lifetime and dedicating one's life to that family.
Natsu blushed, and in a fluster he stuttered, "It also depends on what you want."
Gray's eyes were hard, serious, but showed deep love. Softly, he admitted, "I know what I want."
Natsu gasped. Wait … wait, did he say … did he mean … wait!
"Or my hormones do," Gray corrected, blushing as he realized what he had almost proclaimed. "My brain knows that's a … a really serious thing, and we need to work our way there."
"Y-yeah," Natsu whispered, still shaken by Gray's near confession. "We have a ways to go."
Gray reached up and cupped the fiery cheek. "We can make that our goal."
A goal! To want each other so deeply, so thoroughly, they would want this forever, and want a family, children, marriage! It was a new goal, and far better than fighting nightmares and phobias. It was a goal to be together … forever.
"Yeah," Natsu agreed, almost in tears just knowing that this was something Gray wanted.
Gray smiled and yanked him down, smothering him into his chest. "That just means I have to make you want me that much."
Natsu wiggled out of the crushing hold. "Same here. I have to make you want to have children with me."
"I think you're succeeding already."
Natsu swore his heart would stop. "W-whuh?" he cried out, now so stunned, he could not even speak.
Gray pulled back and looked at him with solemn fervor. "Natsu, you're incredible. You're a good dad to Happy. I'm no good around kids," he shrugged, "but I think you … you'd make a good father."
His mouth hung open, and his lower lip quivered as a tear beaded up in his eye. "Gray!"
Gray thought he would make a good father!
He wanted kids! A family together!
The ice wizard began to feel flustered and rubbed the back of his neck. "We're not—"
"No, we're not," Natsu agreed with a nervous laugh.
"Not yet."
"Yeah."
"But … I do want you," Gray whispered, tracing his face, "for as long as I can have you."
Who needed three words to declare love when Gray could confess he wanted Natsu for the rest of his life? Natsu tucked his chin down to hide his intense happiness.
"I guess, it's a start."
"A damn good start," Gray nodded. They smiled together, both blushing at what a life-altering discussion this was. "We'll take our time. We'll need to be serious about wanting this."
"Y-yeah."
This hardly even felt like the same Gray from before, the one who was sexually frustrated by having Happy around, enraged because he could not do things with the Exceed in the next room. One of their first fights as a couple was over Happy, and Gray had said some hurtful things.
'If we decide to live together permanently, I'm not living with a cat … he can live somewhere else. I don't like feeling this restricted. I'm not ready to have a kid around ruining my sex life.'
When they fought over Happy, they came to the conclusion that they were not ready for kids and were not looking to settle down yet. Now, they had reached a point where both of them wanted that as a goal.
Maybe they were not fully there yet, but their relationship was restarting at a more mature spot. It was not purely about physical pleasure. They wanted to see if they were ready for a family and a lifelong commitment.
For Natsu, that alone was a dream come true.
They curled together, watching the steam billowing in the cavern and hearing droplets from the lake. Gray's fingers stroked Natsu in sleepy, placid touches, and Natsu laid there, thinking about so many things, wonderful things. A fictional future spread out in front of him. In it was him and Gray, holding hands, sharing loving smiles. No darkness or nightmares or fears, just them and the joy of being together for the rest of their lives. They would live together, make love freely, and be able to say or do anything together. It was a perfect future, and Natsu wanted to fight this darkness to reach that dream.
Today was just the start. Maybe it was a small step, but it was still progress, and he was determined to keep fighting, keep struggling, and never slip backward again.
"Um, Gray?" he muttered. "Maybe … later … can I do that again to you?"
Gray opened his sleepy eyes. "Entering me?"
"Y-yeah," he said awkwardly.
"Oh, fuck yes!" he exclaimed. "As many times as you want. Not too often, though." He smiled to himself. "I want your ass as well."
Natsu chuckled and had to admit, he liked when Gray pleasured him. "I like what we did, switching."
"Being equals," Gray said, making that another goal in their re-blooming relationship. "Let's do that more."
Natsu hummed in agreement, but suddenly Gray grabbed his hips, yanking him forward.
"Lots more!"
He giggled and shook his head at the playful grin on the ice wizard. "Horny bastard."
They kissed, and their eyes shined with many hopes for the future. Then Gray pulled Natsu in, and they cuddled together.
"I like it here," Gray said, looking at the cavern and thinking about how secluded it was, how safe, and how it was all theirs. "It's crazy, though. We're in the middle of a frigging volcano."
"Yeah? So? You grew up in a glacier."
"It wasn't a glacier," Gray snapped.
Natsu chuckled at teasing him, but it melted into sweet happiness. "And we met in Fairy Tail, where it's warm in summer and snows in winter."
Gray nodded to himself. "The perfect spot."
"Yeah."
Fairy Tail really was perfect, a natural blend of the elements for them. Maybe this volcano had been where he and Igneel lived, but Fairy Tail would always be his home, where he could come back no matter how many years passed and know the people there were waiting for him.
Gray let out a weary sigh. "I'll need help getting out of here. I'm really dizzy."
"Too hot for you, popcicle dick?"
"Shut the hell up."
"I could carry you back like the dainty princess you are."
Gray narrowed his eyes at him. "I will not hesitate to kick you in the balls."
Natsu laughed and yanked him up by the hand. They held one another, smiling, rubbing the damp skin. Gray gave Natsu one final kiss, Natsu kissed him back, then they walked to the cleaning area to wipe sweat off their skin and get dressed.
As they returned to the main hall, Gray felt relief from the oppressive humidity. It was still hot—was it actually hotter than yesterday?—but not as bad without the steam.
"I'm glad we came here," he said off-handedly.
Natsu beamed in excitement. "Yeah?"
Gray nodded and lightly touched Natsu's cheek. "You've looked … happy since you got here. There's a definite change, and it's great to see."
Natsu hummed, feeling in a good mood. However, after sweating and sex, he was starving. "How about we go hunting?"
Gray agreed with the plan, also feeling like breakfast had been hours ago. "We'll do that, get a nice dinner."
"Yeah." Natsu thumbed his chest proudly. "And I'll cook it just how Igneel showed me."
Gray's eyebrow cocked up in wariness. "Are we going to have an actual meal or just char?"
"Shut up!" He shoved Gray away. "I can cook meat." Maybe he was not great at other food, but Igneel taught him lots of barbecue techniques.
Gray laughed and wrapped his arm around Natsu, shaking him out of his frown. "Let's go see what we can hunt."
"All right!"
Hunting together! Plus Natsu wanted to see how much the land outside of this cave had changed. They brought along just enough for a small hunting trip and headed out into the fresh mountain air. The sun beamed down on them, making them shade their eyes after the low light of the caverns.
Gray looked over to Natsu as he scanned the valley below. He had mentioned the smile, how happy Natsu looked, but it went beyond that. Natsu had been sinking into darkness, with haunted, hollow eyes and forced smiles. Then he vanished, or maybe ran away, and he returned to more forced laughter and solemn expressions. For months now, Natsu was not the Natsu whom Gray had known since they were children.
This now was more like the old Natsu, grinning and playful, the man he had fallen in love with.
Yes … fallen in love.
Gray knew he was in love. Deeply in love!
And one day, he would tell Natsu directly.
Those green eyes flashed up at him, the grin massive and the laugh mischievous. Natsu took off running down the mountain path, whooping in excitement. Gray followed, watching him and thinking about how amazing life would be to have this insane flame-brain by his side every day.
End of Chapter 55
A/N: I had to go back through earlier chapters to pinpoint certain moments. So you don't have to dig around aimlessly like I did to recall them, I'll reference them here.
* Gray called out to his mother in a flashback - Chapter 9, plus every flashback he has involves visions of blood on snow and his mother's screams.
* 1st time Natsu entered Gray went badly: Chapter 3
* 2nd time was not Natsu's choice, and although he did better, he still panicked: Chapter 30
* 3rd time was when Gray was under a gender-changing spell; Natsu realized there was something dark and dangerous about that time: Chapter 43
* Gray had a dream where Natsu wanted to get him pregnant (the dream actually did not end happily, but Gray forgot the last part): Chapter 16
* Gray used to be very much against having children around: Chapter 21
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