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The Karawong	By : Zuzanny Category: +S to Z > Zoids Views: 5552 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Zoids, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
Thank you to those people who were kind enough to review, even if they didn't like my evil muse. ;p Just to clarify, this is written as a way of exploring how a person copes when everything they know about themselves, the people around them, and even their gender are turned upside down. Sorry if you don't like, but that is what this is really about. (I try to sound scientific in this one, but I know NOTHING!!!) If you think Raven is out of character, well, he's in shock! He's been through something that would be very traumatic for a male! I mean it's bad enough as it is for a woman (I'm talking about child-birth), never mind all the rest of the stuff that has been inflicted upon him by this evil author! Can he cope? We'll see...
Also, who REALLY knows if Shadow is male or female? Hmmm? ;p

Not my characters, blah blah blah...

february- March 2003

The Karawong

by Zuzanny
Part 6

***

Doctor D read out loud a few lines out of the thousands on the computer screen, trying to make sense of everything that was on the disc Van and Thomas had retrieved from Prozen's underground lab.
"'Although anxious, Human test subject responding well to the serum, showing considerable compatibility to the organoid genes. Fertilisation to be confirmed.'"
"'Fertilisation confirmed. Human test subject showing suicidal tendencies through attempted self starvation. Has been restrained and an iv line introduced.'"
"'Human test subject unresponsive when questioned about nausea or other discomfort.'"
"'Foetus confirmed.'"
"'Human test subject forcably restrained and sedated after becoming violent resulting in the death of a lab technician."
"'Ultrasound showing healthy foetal development.'"
It went on and on describing the... well, pregnancy, like it was any other. Only every now and then there were little comments about how the "Human test subject" would protest. They grew less and less in the later months. Dr. D cringed when he read the details of the labour. No wonder Raven had those scars! It was amazing that he even survived it! He was shocked that They did not perform a cesarian as that would be less traumatic on all individuals and less risk to Raven's life. But then, perhaps Raven's life was not important enough. The way They only referred to him as 'Human test subject' seemed to suggest it.

***
Doctor D poked his head into the ward room that Raven was being housed in and saw him lying on the bed with his back to the door. There was a portable crib, but he could not see the baby so Dr. D had to assume that he was on the bed as well.
"What do you want." Raven 's voice came over to him. Dr. D cleared his throat and slipped in beside the bed.
"To check on you." Dr. D told him. Now he could see the baby was feeding. Dr. D blinked with shock. Fiona had told him about it, but he had never thought she was really talking about reality. But then she did not have the baby and he had just spoken with Van, Irvine and Thomas who did not have the baby either. "How is the little one?"
"Fine." Raven said icily.
Dr. D moved around the other side of the bed so he could look Raven in the eye. And observe the baby. "You know the nurses can take him if you need a rest."
Raven just gave him a look. Dr. D grinned. He pulled a chair over and reclined in it. Raven watched every move he made, a lethal gleam in his eyes. Dr. D found it interesting from an observational point of view. Like a mother tiger guarding her cub. "His name is Kouryo." Raven told him matter-of-factly.
"Very nice. Did you name him or someone else?"
Raven looked down at his now sleeping son, frowning. "I did." He said quietly.
Dr. D shifted closer. "May I?" He waited for Raven to nod before lifting Kouryo, gently placing him in the crib, and covering him with a blanket.
"Prozen just wanted to call him 'It' or 'Thing' like he wasn't even a living being." Raven continued. Dr. D was not exactly sure why Raven was talking to him about this subject but he was glad anyway. "Like he had no soul. But he does. I felt him. From the very first moment I was aware of him. I didn't want him at first, but... As he grew I realised it didn't matter."
"What didn't matter?"
"That I'm male. What they were doing to me. What HE did to me."
"From the notes I have read I take it that this was not a consential experiment?"
Raven frowned. "No. It was not consential."
"You are taking this very coolly for someone who had been..."

Hatred flared in Raven's eyes. "Been what?!" He demanded.
Dr. D picked his words carefully. "Been violated so."
Raven snorted. "You have no idea. What do you care anyway? As far as you're concerned Kouryo is just another THING for you to gawk and prod at."
"Actually no. I'm more interested at your physiological changes." Raven snorted again. "And I have been wondering why."
"Why what?"
"Why would Prodo tdo this to you. Not just because you are you, but because you are male. Why not a woman?"
Raven looked tired, lost in unpleasant memories. "I don't know. Perhaps he just wanted to see how much agony he could inflict on someone. I don't know what he did to Shadow either." Anger flared back into his eyes. "But if I ever see that BASTARD again, I'll kill. him!" P>
***
Dr. D went to the nurses station, flicking through a chart. "I'm afraid mister Raven will need to be taken off of that particular sedative." He told one of them.
"Why is that?"
"Because while it tends to loosen the tounge, that drug is not safe for breast fed babies."
The nurse gave him the oddest expression, but typed the commands into the computer anyway.

***
Raven sat watching his baby sleep. Kouryo's eyes fluttered as he dreamed, and he made the sweetest noises when he snored. Raven was amazed at how perfect Kouryo was. Perfect little hands with perfect little finger nails. Perfect toes. Perfect eyes, nose, mouth, ears... Kouryo was just beautiful. Raven felt his heart swell with love for his child and tears started to form.
He squeezed his eyes shut and turned away trying to sort out his confused emotions. How could he love this little creature? Was he even human anymore? Were either of them human? What would happen to them when the Guardian Force realised that he was actually healthy enough to imprison? The idea of Kouryo being taken from him again terrified him. This in it's self was something he found odd.
Then came the darker set of emotions. How could he love Kouryo so much when he HATED the little creature? Raven shied away from those thoughts. Did he really hate Kouryo, or just the acts that caused Kouryo to come into existence? Thinking about this made him realise that it was the circumstances that he hated. Kouryo could not be blamed. Only Prozen could. Kouryo did not ask to be... born. Could it even be called a birth? Raven didn't know. He didn't want to think about that any more. So he sat watching his baby and feeling strangely drained of all emotions.
Some hours later, interrupted by hospital staff coming in and doping him up with something that did not seem to be effecting him at all, Raven was just letting his eyelids droop from watching Kouryo, when there came a strange squelching noise fromt he baby. Raven sat up his heart speeding. "What the hell?" It continued to happen. Kouryo slept on for a few minutes but then opened his mouth and squalled. Raven continued to sit on the bed staring at his son, stunned. What was it? What was going on? He reached for the buzzer in a panic, and a nurse came in.
"Yes?" She inquired.
Raven pointed at the crib. "He made a strange noise then started crying. What do I do?"
"Have you burped him?"
"Huh?"
"Try picking him up. Yes that's very good. He knows you. Now hold him against your shoulder, support his neck Good. Now pat his back gently."
Raven did as instructed, patting his baby's back and waiting for something to happen. "He smells funny." He said. The nurse nodded her head knowingly.
"Then it is time to change him."
Raven was confused. "I don't want to change him. He's fine as he is, even if his skin colour is different to ours."
"No, no... I mean change his nappy." She smiled patronisingly down at him.
Raven blinked, uncomfortable. "Um... I don't have any nappies. And I don't know how to do it. I've never changed a nappy before."
"Didn't you go to birthing classes?" The nurse was incredulous.
Raven gave her an odd look. "Nooo..."
She rolled her eyes. "Come with me." She promptly marched out, impatient for Raven to follow. He could hear her muttering. "I don't know. Women these days, always expecting to get other people to do everything for them. No thought to what they are actually doing when they get pregnant. I bet she didn't use protection either." It went on.
Raven trailed after feeling dangerously close to tears. "I'm not a... " Woman. He didn't say it. Why correct her when even he wasn't so sure what he was anymore. There were already so many people staring at him as he was lead down the hall and through elevators and more halls until he was thoroughly lost and they were standing in thateraternaty ward. Lots of women. Lots of babies in wheelie-cots. Lots of babies crying. Flowers being delivered. Women sitting around exposing their breasts to feed their crying babies. Raven felt light headed all of a sudden. Crowded. Suffocated.
"I shouldn't be here." He whispered. The air was starting to change colour. The world was going gray. The nurse turned to look at him oddly.
"Why ever not?" She managed to snatch Kouryo from his arms with a cry of alarm as he slumped to the floor.

to be continued...
- 5
- 6
- 7
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The Karawong

The Karawong