Gojyo\'s Guide to the Art of Lovemaking

Summary: Sanzo's jealousy reaches its peak after the four men reach the hot spring. In his own words, "So much for the vacation."

Disclaimer: Gensomaden Saiyuki is property of Minekura Kazuya.

Rating: NC-17

Pairings/Warnings: Yaoi. Sanzo/Goku, Gojyo/Goku, Sanzo/Goku/Gojyo. Don't like yaoi? Don't like the pairings? This fic isn't for you.

Author's Note: This chapter is a little angst-ier than the others. But hey, Sanzo had to freak out eventually!

*Gojyo's Guide to the Art of Lovemaking, Chapter Six*


By the time evening rolled around, 7:00 to be precise, the men had reached the hot spring hotel. It was surprising, considering how long it took for them to overcome the rugged terrain earlier that morning. But then again, Gojyo and Goku's flirting and Sanzo's trigger-happy tendencies had Hakkai putting the pedal to the metal.

As they approached the building, complete with an elegant overhanging roof and upturned eaves, Goku jumped with glee. "This is going to be awesome! I've never been to a hot spring. Have you, Sanzo?"

"Don't just stand there, get going," the priest grouched as he headed towards the entrance.

At the bottom of the stairs, Gojyo spoke exuberantly as his hands made grabbing motions in the air. "Ooh, I bet there are lots of hot girls in skimpy little towels, just waiting for a piece of me!"

Hakkai laughed at him and shook his head. "Just make sure you check their IDs first."

"And be sure their dads aren't around!" Goku grinned.

"Ha ha ha," Gojyo replied sarcastically. "You're a real riot!" To Sanzo's disgust, the half-demon wrapped his arm around Goku and pushed his head against his chest. "I bet this is funny too!"

For a few moments, the priest watched them, and his finger began itching for the trigger. "Is it your duties in life to act like fools?" he snapped.

Gojyo and Goku looked up, still entangled in each other's arms. "Huh?" Gojyo asked, shoving Goku aside. "Listen here, just because you're a stick in the mud doesn't mean we have to be."

Sanzo raised his eyebrow and smirked. "A stick in the mud, huh?"

Fearful of the impending confrontation, Hakkai stepped in front of the two men. "That's enough, guys. We're here to relax, not argue."

"Fine," Sanzo growled as he turned around and left through the entrance.

After he left, all three men exhaled and wiped the sweat from their foreheads. Even though it had stopped raining hours ago, Sanzo was still being extra-pissy.

"Damn, what's got into him?" Gojyo asked irritably.

Hakkai stared at him skeptically. "You know what."

"No, I don't!" Gojyo spoke defensively. "Goku and I shouldn't be expected to act like tight-asses just because he's one!" Yet Hakkai continued to gaze at him, until he finally understood what it was he said. "Ohhh... I see..."

The green-eyed demon sighed. "Just, be careful guys."

"Hey, I meant what I said!" Gojyo exclaimed. 'God, if this is how Sanzo's going to act then maybe all this wasn't worth it.' He glanced at Goku, who had a nervous look on his face.

"Hey," he said to the boy. "When the time comes, Sanzo will be thanking you."

"Yeah," Goku answered, looking at the ground. But deep down inside, both men knew that Sanzo would be far from grateful.

~~

Dinner at the hotel went by without so much as a peep from Gojyo and Goku. In fact, the whole meal was awkwardly silent, at least, until the last eggroll.

"You take it," Goku said, sighing. One eggroll wasn't worth Sanzo getting even more upset.

"Nah, that's okay. You take it."

"Just take it, it's fine."

"No, *you* take it."

Suddenly, the two were quarreling again. Sanzo, annoyed by their childish behavior, stood up from the table. "I'm leaving, have fun."

"Aren't you going to the bath with us?" Goku asked.

"No thanks."

"Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm ready for the bath! Nothing like a hot spring to restore the libido!" Gojyo said as he stood up also.

"Me too," Hakkai replied. "And after that, I'm going to get a good night's sleep."

"I hear ya."

As the three men began to leave, Goku stayed at the table. "Hey, monkey!" Gojyo asked. "Aren't you coming?"

"I will. Just not now," he said, picking at the remaining food on his plate.

Gojyo glanced at Hakkai, who held his hands in the air. "Don't look at me!" he said.

"Okay, well, we'll be waiting for you," Gojyo said, squeezing the boy's shoulder. Although he liked to pretend that Goku's hyperactivity got on his nerves, it was worrying to see him so glum. "Cheer up, man," he added as he left the room. "Or I'll kick your ass."

And so Gojyo and Hakkai chose to unwind at their private bath, leaving Goku to finish the leftovers and Sanzo to sulk in his suite. It was disappointing how their so-called vacation was turning out. Everyone was grumpy, and nobody had the audacity to discuss it.

Stepping under the showerhead, Gojyo wondered how both of them were fairing, particularly Goku.

"Poor guy..."

"Who, Goku?" Hakkai asked as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I bet Sanzo is going to ream his ass."

"Nice choice of words."

"You bet."

"But you know," Hakkai started. "You better watch yourself too. Sanzo's wrath doesn't discriminate."

"I know that," Gojyo answered. "But I hope he knows we didn't..."

"You were planning on it, weren't you?"

"I wouldn't say that. Oops! I dropped my washcloth!"

~~

With his head resting on his palm, Goku stirred his chopsticks in little circles, wondering how long it would take for Sanzo to get over his grudge. Remarkably, he was beginning to feel like things weren't his fault. After all, he always tried to resolve the disagreements between him and Sanzo, but the priest was too stubborn to ever work things out like boyfriends should...

Even if Goku did go a little too far by fooling around with Gojyo, at times the priest could be as cold as ice. What was he supposed to do? He was tired of waiting for *Sanzo* to decide that it was time to make up.

That was something else Gojyo was teaching him- that you shouldn't have to put up with someone else's crap. The way Gojyo always stood up for himself was really admirable- like what he did outside the hotel, for example.

Goku chuckled as he remembered what he said. "Just because you're a stick in the mud doesn't mean we have to be."

'Oh, man,' Goku snickered. 'If only I could say something like that to him. I bet that would really surprise him.'

'I shouldn't be Sanzo's emotional punching bag,' he though confidently. Even if he did do something wrong, the least Sanzo could do is confront him instead of wandering off and pouting like a spoiled child.

'That's right!' he said to himself. 'Sanzo needs to lighten up!' And with his new self-assurance, the boy stood up from the table and headed for the showers.

~~

Although the outdoor bath would be gloriously relaxing, the atmosphere of the hot spring contributed to the tranquility of their experience. A cedar roof hung above the bath and the steam from the water rose like a ghost into the cool air.

Gojyo and Hakkai delicately lowered themselves into the hot water. Wincing, they held their breaths as their worn bodies met with the tingling heat. After a minute or two the two men welcomed the warmth for it eased the ache in their muscles, almost like a shiatsu massage.

Resting their heads against the granite lining, Gojyo and Hakkai stretched their legs and exhaled slowly. "I'm so glad we came here," Hakkai said.

Gojyo closed his eyes. "Meee too. It's about time we had a vacation."

"Agreed."

Time seemed to pass by slowly as the two men relaxed. Despite the slight smell of sulphur, the entire experience was heavenly. As their aches and pains subsided, so did their worries. Thoughts of the whole bloody trip and its ensuing drama disappeared into the air along with the steam.

Suddenly, a boisterous voice interrupted the two men's repose.

"Hey, guys!" Goku shouted as he practically jumped into the bath, splashing them both.

"You stupid ape!" Gojyo stood up and waded towards Goku. "*This isn't free swim at the pool!*"

"Don't!" Hakkai exclaimed, then sighed as he watched Gojyo dunk the boy's head under. "Here we go again."

"How do you like that, monkey?" Gojyo shouted.

As Goku gasped for air, he screamed at him. "You dumb water sprite! You're the one who likes to swim!"

The boy leapt onto Gojyo, causing them both to fall into the water. As the two squabbled, Hakkai looked up at the roof and wondered why on earth he even considered going to the bath with these two.

"Ahahaha!" Goku laughed obnoxiously. "You're getting hard, aren't you water sprite?"

Suddenly, Hakkai coughed. "Hey, guys?"

"Oh, you know you like it, my sea cucumber!"

"No way, shithead! I've *seen* it, its disgusting!"

"Um, *guys*?" After they continued to ignore him, the green-eyed demon turned towards the entry and spoke cheerfully, "Why, hello Sanzo! Welcome to the party!"

Goku and Gojyo froze in mid-wrestle. "Sanzo?" the boy asked.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Gojyo shoved Goku away from him. "Hey, Sanzo! So, you decided to come!" the half-demon grinned nervously.

The look on Sanzo's face was about as amused as a bathed cat's. With his hands balled into fists, he glared at the two of them angrily.

Goku was still without words, but Gojyo, desperate to keep the situation from escalating, took a few steps forward. "Sanzo, what's up? How's it going?"

But his words meant nothing as the priest abruptly left, and headed back to his room.

~~

A million things rushed through Sanzo's mind as he stomped through the hallway. Everything had been in vain. Keeping his emotions in check, giving those fools the benefit of the doubt, heading out there in a scant, white towel... *fuck them*!

He should have kicked both their asses when he had the chance. The moment he suspected those two were...

"I'm not *stupid*," he muttered to himself.

If they were anywhere else, he would have killed them. He would have surely killed them. But they were at a hot spring, for crying out loud. Out of all places... a hot spring...

So much for the fucking vacation.

Sanzo slammed the door behind him. He could do a lot of things out of anger like this- such as pointing his banishing gun at the wall and firing. He could punch something, throw something. He could scream at the top of his lungs.

He didn't have proof, but dammit, he knew. He knew fuck-buddies when he saw them- and those two... oh, God...

'Fuck all that,' he thought. 'If that stupid brat and that degenerate moron want to fuck each other, I could care less!' Sanzo sat down on his bed and tried to gather his inextricable thoughts. But despite his attempt to clear his mind, one question continued to bother him. Why? *Why... the fuck...*

"Sanzo?"

The priest's eyes widened as he heard Goku's soft voice from behind the door. "Can we talk?" the boy asked.

"Go away," Sanzo replied.

"Please, Sanzo." For a few minutes, the priest ignored him. Then, suddenly, he heard it again. "Sanzo?"

"For the love of God, what do you want?!"

Goku opened the door cautiously. He was in a towel, and his whole body was wet after getting out of the bath. If Sanzo wasn't so pissed, he probably would have jumped on him. "I really want to... um..."

"Make it quick, I don't have all goddamn night," the priest replied.

"Okay, um, I just wanted to know if you were mad at me?" Goku asked quietly.

Sanzo glanced at him. "Why would I be mad at you?"

The boy felt his face grow hot. His tone was derisive, and Sanzo knew very well that he was angry with him. So why couldn't he admit it?

"I don't know," Goku answered as he looked at the ground. Even if the boy confessed his sins, it wouldn't matter. Someone as stoic as Sanzo would never acknowledge his anger or hurt- especially over something like this.

"Well, there's your answer then," the priest said, staring out the window.

The two stood for a few moments, and even though there were many things both wanted to say to each other, neither one spoke.

Eventually, Goku turned around. "I guess I'll be going."

"Hold on."

The boy turned around and looked at him, his big golden eyes brimming with hope. "Yeah?"

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Oh..." Goku rubbed his arms nervously. The priest's voice was flat, emotionless as always. But the feelings behind the question, as Goku knew very well, were far from detached. 'Better start with the funeral preparations,' Goku thought deplorably.

"Forget it, I don't want to know," Sanzo muttered.

After a few seconds of reticence, Goku humbly left the room. When he was gone, Sanzo leaned his head dolefully agt tht the windowpane. If it weren't for his conflicting emotions, he would have beaten the shit out of both of them a long time ago. However, as he gazed at his faint reflection in the glass, he wondered if Goku's deceit wasn't warranted. Beneath all of Sanzo's jealousy and anger lied a sense of shame, blurred like his vague reflection.

It was after their last fight that Goku started hanging out with Gojyo more. Ah, what was he thinking? It wasn't Gojyo that bothered him. It was the idea of Goku directing his fondness towards someone else. For the last few days, Goku had barely pestered him...

"Stupid," he mumbled. It was stupid how he missed the obnoxious little twerp. After a few moments, he turned away from the window, and headed for the bathroom.

He wouldn't admit this to anyone, but damn, he felt like an asshole. Not only did he treat Goku badly- he wasn't God's gift to the bedroom either. Maybe that's why he held back his indignation, because he kind of understood why Goku would feel so unsatisfied. *Kind of* being the key phrase. Why the stupid monkey would run to Gojyo was beyond him...

It didn't matter that he had lost his virginity to Goku, and before that he had zero sexual experience. Inadequacy was unacceptable. He didn't know shit about pleasing someone. Yeah, he sucked. End of story.

Staring out the window at the darkened sky, immediately Sanzo cursed himself for even having these feelings. It was weak of him to pity himself- that was something Goku would do, not tough-as-nails Genjo Sanzo.

Ah, the easily rankled priest biting back this much rage. It was surely a sight to see- not that he wanted to spare that stupid monkey's feelings. He and Gojyo would be in for a big surprise once they left the hot spring. For now, he would opt for pissiness instead.

~~

Meanwhile, in the shower, Gojyo paced back and forth while Hakkai washed. "Damn!" he said. "Sanzo *is* going to kill me!"

"I think if he was going to kill you, he would have done it already."

"So why is he holding back, huh?" Gojyo asked. "He would shoot at us if we stepped on his foot!"

Hakkai shrugged as he lathered his body with soap. "There's more to Sanzo than his temper, Gojyo. And who knows? Maybe this will be a good lesson for all of you."

"Ah, shut up. You think you're so smart."

Grinning, Hakkai turned off the showerhead. "You know I'm right, though."

"Eh, maybe," Gojyo replied. Then, after a few seconds, he shivered while reaching for his package. "Do you think he'll castrate me instead?"

~~

As soon as Goku left Sanzo's room he wandered the hallway, brooding over his and Sanzo's discussion, or lack thereof. 'If only he was easier to talk to,' he thought. 'Maybe this wouldn't be happening...'

A half an hour ago, he felt so confident. Like he could tell Sanzo to "fuck off" and then go about his business. "But who am I kidding?" Goku said aloud. He turned to putty every time the priest was angry at him- how could he ever be assertive?

For about fifteen minutes, Goku struggled with whether or not he should go back to Sanzo's room and beg for forgiveness. He did do something wrong but... but...

"Hey, Goku! I've been looking all over for you," Gojyo said, in nothing but a white cotton towel, as he spotted him at the end of the hallway.

"Oh," Goku answered awkwardly. "Hey, Gojyo."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Hm. Well, is it all right if we talk?" The half demon gazed at him, sincerely concerned by Goku's sad behavior.

He took a few moments to answer. "Yeah, I guess."

"Listen, if you don't want to talk to me then..."

"Shut up! I said I'd talk. Geez," Goku replied, annoyed.

"Well, if you'ring ing to say it like that then forget it!"

"Whatever, asshole."

"WHAT? I know you didn't just say what I thought you did."

"Yeah, I did! What are *you* going to do about it?"

"Maybe I should give you a *real* lesson! Like my fist up your ass!"

"Now that's just gross..."

"Shut up!" Gojyo shouted. "So, are we going to finish our lessons or what? I think this will be the last one since... you know..."

"Yeah, I know," Goku replied sullenly.

"We'll go over the basics of what we learned before Sanzo got pissy. Then I'll teach you *all* about the act, how does that sound?"

Goku tried to hold back his smile, but it didn't work. "Sounds okay, I guess."

"You guess?!" Gojyo exclaimed. "You're going to be discussing the art of lovemaking with *me*, who also happens to be the world's most knowledgeable instructor."

Goku laughed at him then, prompting Gojyo to grab his head and stick it under armparmpit. At that point the boy continued to smile- for although life was complicated and unpredictable, what with the arduous journey west and he and Sanzo's relationship problems, he could always rely on Gojyo to make the situation a little more light-hearted. Who else could he clown around with and call crude names?

"Ew, your armpit smells..."

"Shut up! You think I like having your naked body pressed against me?"

He could admit it now, that it meant a lot.

"I know you want my body!"

"Fuck that! I'd rather touch Sanzo!"

'Thanks Gojyo,' Goku thought. 'You dumb water sprite.'

~~

(There it is, Chapter Six. *sweatdrop* Blue Ross was on vacation, so I didn't have anyone to beta for me. Posting this chapter was hard, because I wasn't sure if it flowed with the rest of the chapters. Oh, well. The deed is done.

Oh, and another thing that was hard- Gojyo and Hakkai showering together. And *not* fooling around. But I figured it wouldn't go well with the plot. Maybe some other time...)