Tainted Tears

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FIC : Tainted Tears – Chapter 5
Author : Sagakure
Fandom : Saint Seiya (Knights of the Zodiac, Cavaleiros do Zodiaco, Caballeros del Zodiaco, Chevaliers du Zodiaque).
Pairing : There is BIG innuendo for Saga x Kanon and Kanon x Saga, though. (\"Obvious\" would be a better word than \"innuendo\". ^^;)
Rating : NC17 (For utter angst and mature content. Don’t read if it’s not your cup of tea).
Warnings : Timeline went to space, so it could be considered AU, but I’m otherwise sticking with the canon story whenever it’s possible. The original timeline for their ages couldn’t have worked with this story. ^^;;; Even with the AU timeline, Saga and Kanon are very young when they get rescued by the Gemini saint and he becomes their master.

Saga and Kanon are in their early adolescence at the beginning of this fic. That means they\'re pretty close to the age of Seiya and Shun in the series. Just wanted to mention that so you can picture some of the scenes without getting too shocked, since ages are not mentioned and people could think they\'re even younger. This fic has a very heavy subject, but the point here is more the things they go through to get over the trauma caused by their past, rather than anything kinky itself. There are scenes with sexual content, but they\'re only there when deemed necessary for the story.

Disclaimer : I do not own Saint Seiya.
Saint Seiya is (C) of Masami Kurumada, Toei, Shueisha, Akita Shoten and quite probably some more people. No copyright infringement or disrespect intended here. This is a work of fanfiction, done completely for fun. No profit is taken out of it.

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Drop #5 – To the end of the world and back.




Darkness.

And moist.

Heat. And falling.

A never ending fall into darkness.

Drowning.

Kanon woke up from his feverish doze screaming Saga’s name, and when the red light from the lamp signs outside invaded the room and flooded his vision, he realized that the sun had already set and his brother wasn’t by his side. Panic downed on him.

There was screaming in the corridor.

When his ears picked up the sound of Saga’s voice, broken down by crying and drowned among the angry yelling of the managers, Kanon’s daze left him as suddenly as a drunk man sobers up in the face of a sudden fear or shock. He jumped off the bed, ran for the door and threw it open only to freeze in the spot when he found himself right in the eye of the storm.

In the middle of the corridor, surrounded by their owners, Saga was telling his story over and over again, under the disbelieving glares of the old harpie and the three male managers. The boy was in a lamentable state, his clothes torn, his face streaked with tears and his legs with dried blood. On top of that, he seemed to be so worn out that he could barely stand, wincing in pain from time to time, and with his features filled with fear at the sight of the adults\' anger.

Other inhabitants of the place that weren’t busy with their own clients would from time to time open a little their doors and peek at the scene with an unsympathetic look, or even an occasional chuckle. Such are human beings, that suffering often has a wicked effect over them, making them turn cold and unconcerned by anything that regards the despair of others.

It didn’t help that the twins weren’t exactly popular among theirs colleagues. They had no friends or allies in the brothel, being much younger than the others, and since they were also the #1 attraction of the place, jealousy and envy often clouded the judgement of their peers over them.
The twins’ frailer bodies required more rest, and their longer hours of work due to their bigger success among the customers often forced them to sleep throughout the whole morning, being dispensed of the cleaning chores that the others were forced to help with.
The fact that the two children spent years daily cleaning up the place before they were initiated to their “main activity” didn’t diminish the other’s resentment for those meager privileges.
And nobody seemed to take into account the fact that by the end of the night, the two boys were usually too tired and in too much pain to help with anything else. If it wasn’t the case, their owners would probably have forced them to help anyway, considering that they weren’t exactly the kind of person who makes concessions out of good will.

But then again, it wasn’t that surprising that the twins’ colleagues had such a bleak look over things, considering the kind of place they all lived and worked in.
Given their profession, nobody there expected to have a long term career. Most of them were conscious that soon or later –sooner than later in any case- most of them would either die of some disease or from overexertion, if they didn’t succumb to violence first. You may escape from your fate several times, but on a long enough run, everybody’s chances of survival under such appalling circumstances drop to zero.

And if nothing killed these people first, the job itself would take care of destroying them.
When they weren’t young or good enough for that place anymore, their owners would sell or rent them to the worst places.
The mafia owned several of those “houses”, and they had different levels of quality. This one was already very bad, but there were places worse. Much worse.

The twins were usually too afraid of the future to talk about it openly. But while Saga closed himself about those matters, preferring to keep some hope rather than think of the rather dark possibilities that lay ahead, Kanon had terrible nightmares about it. In truth, they were both aware of how terrible things might get, but not talking about it made them feel a little bit like the ominous future was still unclear.

They didn’t know how to do anything else. Even if they were to ever get free, which was in itself impossible anyway, they wouldn’t be able to do anything else to survive.
Kanon heard that things in the streets could be much worse than in the “houses”, and imagining his brother and him lost in the unknown out there utterly horrified him.
He wasn’t sure which scared him most, that or the idea of ending up in another “house” of an even lower rank and quality.
On one hand, that kind of place would certainly be the death of them, because the kind of customers that went there as well as the way the managers of these “houses” treated their merchandise was absolutely terrible. But on the other hand, being lost outside without knowing what to do or how to react terrified the younger twin.
Whenever he tried to picture what might happen to them, he always came up with the worse images possible. The world was full of people capable of the worst, and there was nothing the twins could do to defend themselves.
The state in which Saga came back today only contributed to instill more fear into Kanon, as well as the certainty that there were dangers out there that they could never face unscathed.

It was hard to imagine how something could be worse than the “house”, but he knew it would be. It always was. And when his mind tried to infuse some hope into him, the younger twin reminded himself of the examples he already had.
Like the fact they used to think their life was terrible when they were small. Forced to help cleaning the entire place, constantly hazed and mocked by the older ones, and brutalized by their owners... The pain, the shame and the others’ scornful laughter invaded his mind with the memories.

But when they thought things were already very bad, they always got infinitely worse. Like when they found out the real purpose they had been purchased for, and the fact that their owners were just waiting for them to be old enough for it.
Kanon had thought that they were going to die during that hideous night in which they both lost all that still made them feel pure, and he had sensed the same feelings in Saga, through the special bond they shared. They didn’t understand how it worked, but that night they accidentally awakened something overwhelming, that went beyond the mental closeness that they always had felt as twins.
Something that made them feel like they shared the same mind.
When the horror and the shame had reached a peak so high that they couldn’t take it anymore, suddenly it felt as if the entire universe had surged through theirs minds and bodies on same time, and in that infinite vastness, the twins could hear each other’s voices as if they were resonating inside their heads. Their new bond helped them block away a little of the sensations while the loathsome act went on.
That overpowering feeling as well as the impression of sharing the same mind happened again several times since then, whenever one of the boys –or the two of them- found himself in a situation of utter despair, but none of them knew it was the cosmo, nor how it could be used in their advantage. For them, it was just a strange sensation that they couldn’t explain well.
It happened this afternoon too, for despite his feverish sleep Kanon still felt Saga’s fear, and it triggered his nightmares about losing his twin.

Without that bond that constantly reminded them of each other, and of the fact that they had to try their best to survive so they could stay together, maybe the twins would really have died in the night they were initiated by their owners. The trauma was just too big for them.
Even with their mental closeness, Saga went into shock by the end of the night, and stayed that way for days. And Kanon almost died of despair, holding his unconscious brother in his arms and refusing food and water for as long as it lasted.
If Saga couldn’t drink or eat, then he shouldn’t do it either. They were one. That was the only thing that could keep them alive in this bottomless pit of despair.
But if their owners allowed that small whim, they were just biding their time.
The very night Saga came back to his senses, Kanon and him were forced to receive their first customers. Something that would continue every night since then, never stopping unless they were too sick to receive clients.
Brothels didn’t have holidays or vacations, obviously. And if you’re too sick to work, things get very bad for you. Especially when your owners are the kind that sees you as a mere piece of meat brought to the world for the only function of earning money for them.

If the illness wasn’t overly grave they would be forced to continue anyway, but the times that one of them was truly too sick, the other twin would have to work twice the load in the same night. Regardless of weariness and pain, and until their bodies felt like they were going to tear apart.

And if the both of them were too sick on same time, which was often the case, then the managers would take it almost as a rebellion, a purposeful act to escape working.
The two children dreaded the sunset almost more than anything, because it would bring the night and the customers...yet, they were even more terrified of getting sick and having things get even worse.


Kanon was frozen in place against the corridor wall, a myriad of thoughts rushing through his head, trying to take as much information as he could from the scene, in order to start coming up with something to help his brother out of that situation.
Apparently, Saga had succeeded in collecting the debt, but he had lost the envelope in which he was carrying it, which was worse than not collecting anything in the first place, since now that money would never be recovered, and it was a rather large sum.
Listening to Saga’s shaky voice and the broken chunks of explanations that came out of the boy’s trembling lips, and seeing the state of his clothing, it was clear that he had been robbed, but their owners didn’t seem to be willing to believe that version.

Either that or they were just too furious to accept the obvious, for they insisted that Saga must be trying to keep the money for himself somehow.

Kanon broke out of his thoughts instantly when the larger built of the three male managers swung his arm down and slammed his fist full force into Saga’s face, cutting off the boy’s explanations and sending him crashing into the ground like a dead weight.
Kanon flung himself at his brother’s side, and begun saying whatever came to his mind, in an attempt to calm the man down, but to it was to no avail. Yelling that nobody had asked his opinion, the man slapped Kanon across the face, making him fall back sitting on the ground.
But the heat spreading through his cheek was nothing compared to the beatings he had taken in the past, – and certainly not comparable to the blow that Saga had just received either– and Kanon didn’t give up his position by his brother. Saga shivered in the ground, his mind spinning from the strength of the punch, and blood flowing freely down his face, from his split brow.

“ ’Pity, hitting them in the face. It’s better to aim for the bodies to avoid damaging the merchandise.” –For some reason, the old harpie always had to meddle in everything, but today, she didn’t insist much on that point. Apparently, even she seemed to think that in this case it was necessary. The predatory look in her eyes told how much she rejoiced in advance at the thought of the pain Saga was probably going to go through soon.

“He should know better than trying to steal from us! If he’s lost the money, he’ll be payin’ for it with his body!!” – the man’s voice grated in Saga’s ears, and the boy attempted to open his eyes to scan his surroundings, but regretted the gesture as soon as the blood from the wound invaded his swelling right eye. He shuddered, trying to block the images that his mind was conjuring of what might happen next.

Kanon had been doing a great deal of rapid thinking while trying to analyse the managers’ faces to judge how dire the situation might get. The boy suspected that only two of them truly believed in the theory about Saga wanting to keep the money. The other two were most likely just looking forward to punishing him for the loss, and went with the theory merely out of cruelty.

And the old harpie was definitely not the only one looking forward to putting her hands on Saga. Money wasn’t something that you could lightly mess with in that place.
The larger of the managers, that Kanon had secretly nicknamed “Gorilla”, was obviously burning with anger, but the two others, “Skinny” and “Sick-face” also seemed to have very bad intentions for the older twin.
When none of the managers was around, Kanon and Saga would always talk about their owners using those nicknames. That way, not only it was a little bit harder to find out who the boys were badmouthing if someone eavesdropped on them, but they also felt a slight consolation, like a tiny form of revenge or defiance, even if it could only be done when the enemy was away.
The gorilla and the skinny one were the two most straightforward ones in their punishments, preferring outright physical brutality, while “sick-face” and the old harpie were more twisted, choosing often other forms of humiliation.
But in the end, they could all be dreadful when they were furious, and that was clearly the case now. Kanon had grown used to pick up all the little signs that allowed him to guess the moods of people likely to hurt his brother and him, and what he saw on their faces sent a shiver of utter panic through his body.

Saga grit his teeth and tried to get up with difficulty, only to fall back down with a cry of pain when the man’s foot connected hard with his stomach, sending him flying backwards some feet.
Kanon’s analysis had distracted him of his twin’s movements for a few seconds, but the manager’s foot flying towards Saga’s body instantly broke his reverie. The younger twin shrieked and scrambled to put himself once again between Saga and the large man, before another kick followed the first.

Falling to his knees on the ground in front of his brother, Kanon frantically clung to the man’s shirt.
“Please, don’t!! We’ll pay it back!! You can always add the sum that was lost to the amount we already owe you, so we’ll pay you back!! I swear we will!!” – In his desperation, the younger twin’s voice sounded higher than usually. But puberty didn’t begin changing their vocal chords yet, so the shrillness of his voice must be caused by fear alone.

“You’ll never manage to pay back your debt, you little filths!! You’ll die of working before you even get near!!” – The man snarled in a sarcastic manner that got an approving burst of laughter from his thinner colleague, as well as amused glances from the other two.

Kanon had long sensed that their debt, like that of any other person forced to work there, was just an excuse so that they owed too much to ever hope that someone might dare to make an offer for them and try to buy them off the brothel. But he didn’t expect that they would shrug its mention off so easily. After all, it was far from being official that their debt didn’t matter and would never be possible to pay back. The hope of being able to pay your own debt was what kept some of the people there alive, and so Kanon had thought that his owners would keep the façade.
The boy cringed when he realized that the best argument he could muster had no power whatsoever. But absolutely any idea he could think of had to be used to protect his brother, or at least to give him some more minutes before the beating.

He launched himself into another of the elaborate stories he would make up to gain time, this time a long reasoning about how they could work longer or make more money per customer. The man raised his hand to slap him again, but the thought that it was better to have at least one of the two twins in state of being able to work tonight stopped him.
Kanon flinched momentarily at the man’s movement, but when he saw the man’s hesitation, he tried to continue and was interrupted by the painful grip of the old harpie’s hand in his hair.

“You have work to do! There will be no show tonight since you two won’t be able to perform together, but the normal customers are already waiting for you! And you better pray that they accept to lay with only one of you two for the same price, or your brother and you will regret it!!” – She spat in her usual vulgar manner as she dragged the screaming boy, kicking and trashing, towards the room.

Just before he was locked in, Kanon could see with horror one of the three men grab Saga’s semi-conscious form by his wrists and drag him towards their office room at the end of the corridor, followed by the others.

The younger twin leaned against the inside of the door and slid down to the ground, trembling, unable to prevent the tears from escaping his eyes.
“Saga...Saga...”- He hugged his knees, chanting his brother’s name as if it could bring him closer to him.
Not being there during the beating was even worse for him. If he could choose, he would prefer being beaten too, rather than knowing that his brother would be alone in there, and that he wouldn’t know what they might do to him, nor be able to be by his side.
The twins feared to be apart more than almost any physical abuse.

But Kanon didn’t have much time to cry in peace, because almost immediately afterwards, he heard the old harpie returning with the first of tonight’s clients.
The despair felt like a ball at the back of Kanon’s throat, almost choking the boy with the sheer need to cry it awakened in him.
He quickly turned away to wipe the tears as fast as he could, just before the man entered the room, and leered at the young body with a lecherous look.


The night was going to be long, for both of the twins.


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The diffused light from the early evening sky bathed the Gemini temple’s atrium in a dim luminosity. It was past sunset, but the sky wasn’t fully dark yet.
The twilight glowed in a tone of dark blue that seemed afraid of the shadows of darkness that would soon swallow it completely.
The image that it brought to Leon’s mind painfully reminded him of Saga’s eyes.
The child had so much pain and despair inside those innocent eyes. Or rather, eyes that should have been innocent, and that were filled with fear of the filth that surrounded him.

The gold saint felt his throat tighten at the memory of the child he left behind.
Two children, for Saga had spoken of a twin. What could be happening to them by now?

He dropped his head, staring at the ground while confused thoughts raced through his mind. Never in his life had he felt so ridden with guilt.
His rational thoughts told him he shouldn’t feel guilt for something that wasn’t his fault. The Sanctuary’s rules were extremely clear on that point, as well as extremely severe.
No saint had the right of interfering in the normal people’s lives, for any reason whatsoever. Had he rescued the child, he would be in direct breech of those rules.
Yet, he couldn’t he help but feel so utterly disgusted of himself that he nearly couldn’t stand drawing breath.

A young maidservant entered the room with a candle, and let out a small cry of surprise when the gleam of the burnished gold of his armor made her realize she wasn’t alone.

“Master Leon, why are you alone in the dark? I didn’t know you had already returned...”- The young woman started in a conversational tone, but when the gold saint raised his head in a pensive manner, her voice died off.
There was such sadness in his eyes that she got scared for a moment that something terrible might be about to happen, like a war or perhaps a major disaster in Sanctuary.

“Is…is everything alright, master?”- The fright in her voice startled him.

“Fear not, child. There is nothing for you to worry about. I was merely meditating a little.”-he replied matter-of-factly, in an attempt to dismiss her apprehension.

He wasn’t much older than her, but he was a gold saint, and as such, the normal men and women living in Sanctuary as servants and other workers saw him – as well as the other eleven– as a higher figure, devoid of age, and expected to speak that way.

It did indeed calm the woman down a bit to see that he was acting normally, but the sadness still present in his eyes puzzled her.

“What subject of meditation could distress so much a man as powerful as you, master?”
She couldn’t help but ask, knowing well that Leon was severe when necessary but always kind-hearted, and thus unlikely to react badly to the question, as some other saints might have.

He hesitated for a second before telling her.

“Powerlessness.”

“Po...But master, you are one of the strongest of the gold saints, if not the strongest of all!! How could you worry about such a...” –A halting gesture from him immediately stopped her. She froze for a moment, remembering with fear that she had in the past served saints that would have taken very badly a remark on this kind of matter. She meant no harm, but her overly inquisitive nature would sometimes cause her problems, as she couldn’t help but pry into the lives of others. But Leon was wise and just, and she knew he wouldn’t hold the comment against her. The woman bowed apologetically and left the room silently, leaving the candle behind.


Lost in his thoughts once again, Leon wondered what could have been done.
Even if he brought the children to Sanctuary, things would be far from easy. They were too old to begin training at that age. As for making them servants or guards, there were already enough of both, and besides the twins would be a little young for that anyway.

Not to mention that guards and servants of the Sanctuary were almost always chosen among the older trainees that had failed to win a cloth, so bringing in outsiders would be a very difficult thing.
The Kyoukou Shion, their supreme leader, was a goodhearted old man and might have allowed that if they were orphans from the street and no rule had been broken. But his right hand man, Metaxas, - a former silver saint that had raised to the rank of intendant of the Sanctuary and direct aid for Shion - was very strict with those matters.
And now that the Kyoukou was getting much older and dedicating himself more and more to the star gazing and spiritual matters only, the basic daily administration of Sanctuary had fallen in Metaxas’ hands, who wielded his power with great severity.

Some said that he overdid it to compensate his rank with his overzealousness. Others said that the power had gone to his head, but Leon didn’t want to delve into those thoughts.
Passing a moral judgement over a man that was chosen by their Kyoukou wasn’t in their prerogatives, in his opinion.

But for the question at hand, it was indubitable that Metaxas would attempt to deny the children entry to Sanctuary because of their age and background.

And even if it was possible, there was the rule, once again. ’Not interfering under any circumstances’ meant that Leon couldn’t go and take them out of the brothel in the first place. It was as if they belonged to another world, separated from his own by a web of interdicts and taboos making it impossible for either of the sides to cross the line.
If Leon had found them orphaned and lost on the side of a road, completely free of any tie to the normal society, then he might have been able to rescue them, although even then the Sanctuary would most likely have preconized that they get sent to an orphanage.
There was only room for so many people on the holy grounds, and if everyone started bringing in all the children they found in the streets, chaos would soon arise.
They were a warrior’s society after all, and only those that had a purpose had the right to live on Athena’s domain.

But in the present situation, it was impossible to not to interfere. Following the ancestral rules would mean to abandon those children to a fate worse than death, and that would go against all that Leon believed.

He stood gravely, his decision taken.

It didn’t matter how many interdicts he may have to break, he couldn’t leave those children out there to rot in darkness. The Sanctuary may qualify such initiative as a crime, but at Leon’s eyes, it was abandoning them that would be a sin beyond any grace.


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[To Be Continued]
[Next Chapter : Drop #6 – Bitter Tears.]


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Sagakure, May 20th, 2005