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My Sun, My Supernova	By : ditchgospel Category: Gensomaden Saiyuki > General Views: 3283 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Gensomaden Saiyuki, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 5
- 6
- 7
My Sun, My Supernova

Chapter 6

Dark Light

In the moment before awakening, caught somewhere in that hazy realm that is
not quite sleep, Goku sighs and snuggles against the pillow he holds in his
arms. Slowly, his eyes blink open, and he greets the new day feeling not only
sleepy but vaguely uneasy, as if he had been having a bad dream and has since
forgotten what it was about.

He squeezes his eyes shut and yawns, and when he reopens them, their focus
falls on a smear of red staining the sheets on the other side of the bed. In a
sudden, sickening rush, the memory of the scene from last night comes back to
him, and his stomach turns. Quickly, he sits up in bed. Sanzo is already up, in
the process of gathering together his things, and Goku can't help but notice the
blood stained towel he has wrapped around his arm.

Goku's awakening attracts Sanzo's attention, and he turns to look over at the
bed. Seeing its occupant sitting there staring at him, he picks up his boots and
approaches, sitting down on the edge of the bed to put them on.

"Morning, Goku. Sleep well?"

All Goku can do is stare numbly at Sanzo's arm, with the bloody cloth serving
as cold, hard evidence that what he had seen last night definitely was
not a dream. He wants to ask Sanzo about it, ask him what he was
thinking, what in the world he was doing, and why, why, why? But so taken
aback is he that he's unable even to phrase his thoughts, and he hesitates to
try, as if by remaining silent he can somehow pretend that what he had seen had
never happened. It just feels so surreal, so like the bad dream it should have
been.

Sanzo pauses in tying his laces to peer into Goku's eyes.

"Hey, little monkey, are you ignoring me today? Can't say good morning? What,
cat got your tongue? Funny, I don't recall having stolen it from you last night,
I thought I just borrowed it for a while."

He gives Goku a playful tap on the leg and a brief, teasing smile, but all
traces of amusement fade when he notices that Goku's gaze is fixed on his
arm.

"Hey, don't worry about this, it's nothing serious. I'll take care of it.
You, go eat, get yourself ready, then we'll go meet Hakkai and Gojyo and get out
of this joint. Oh, and, Goku, remember our little talk. Not a word."

He reaches out and tilts Goku's face up by the chin, locking eyes with the
boy. Solemnly, he places a finger to his own lips in a gesture of silence.

XXX

With Goku away at breakfast, Sanzo takes the time to clean up the wounds on
his arm, and, not having any bandages on hand, simply places his glove on
directly over top of the cuts. His face is a complete mask of indifference
throughout this entire procedure, as if it were something one does every
day.

While standing in the bathroom, he turns to look at his reflection in the
mirror, staring coldly into his own eyes as if challenging himself to make
something of the situation, almost as if facing an opponent. His fists clench
tightly, and a small trickle of blood starts to drain from one nostril. He
thrusts out his chin in defiance, holding his gaze steady on the eyes in the
mirror. A few seconds pass, and then the other side begins to dispel a crimson
rivulet as well. Sanzo makes a sound as if he's going to be sick, curses, and
turns swiftly on his heel.

XXX

When Goku reenters the room, his hunger temporarily satisfied, it is to find
Sanzo sitting at the table, holding a blood-spotted towel to his nose and
focused absent-mindedly on the little dish of incense burning in front of
him.

Goku can't help wondering why Sanzo seems to like the smell of the stuff so
much, since he personally can't see the appeal. But then again, he can't see
what Sanzo sees in cigarettes, either, so he figures maybe it's just him. Right
now, however, the incense is the least of his concerns regarding Sanzo.

Ever since he went to see that fortune-teller, Sanzo's he's been acting
weird, to say the least, and it's more than just a little bit
scary. While the sessions were ongoing, he'd seemed mostly just depressed
and tired, but now that they're over, it's different. Could it really be that
she helped him come to a new way of thinking? Sanzo's whole attitude has
changed, and he's more relaxed, too, but somehow... Goku can't help feeling, a
little apprehensively, that it's like the calm before a storm.

XXX

As Hakkai and Gojyo each greet him in their own familiar way, Goku realizes
how good it feels to see them again, and that his time spent with Sanzo must
have been more of a strain on him than he thought. At the same time, he can't
help feeling a little sorry that it has come to an end so soon. It had felt like
they'd been building on their relationship, even working towards a change of
some kind. But now that they are headed back to the old routine, there's a
sinking disappointment at the thought that things might just go back to the way
they were before.

Hakkai and Gojyo are in good spirits and glad to be reunited as well, after
having to spend so much time doing nothing but wait around in this small, simple
village.

Throughout the cheerful greeting, Sanzo stands quietly off to one side,
observing Goku. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and fusses
absently for a moment with his attire. He has decided to wear the robe, if only
for the space to stash his belongings that it provides. The idea of being
recognized as a Sanzo priest displeases him. The idea of conforming to the dress
code of a Sanzo displeases him even more. Automatically, his eyes once again
seek out Goku.

When the demonic trio turns its attention his way, he crosses his arms and
feigns disinterest.

"Long time no see, monk. But it's about time, man, this village has got to be
the most law-abiding, anti-fun place on earth!"

Hakkai laughs.

"It has been rather a relaxing stop, I will agree! So Sanzo, I trust
everything has been fine with you while we've been enjoying ourselves here?"

"Hmm. Couldn't be better. Now..."

Abruptly, he stifles his words. In the next second, a wickedly defiant grin
reveals a glint of teeth, and he gleefully grinds out the lit end of his
cigarette into his palm.

Everybody winces in response to this unexpected action.

Sanzo is the first to speak.

"So, what are we waiting for? I can already hear the relentless call of the
western horizon."

He is about to turn, when he hesitates and takes a moment to look the other
three over appreciatively, issuing forth a low sound that could almost be called
a purr of approval.

As his scrutinizing gaze passes over each of them, they all respond in turn,
Hakkai with a smile, Gojyo with a raise of the eyebrows, and, in Goku's case,
with a blush. No one is prepared for what comes out of Sanzo's mouth next.

"We have got to be the sexiest bunch of bad ass boys in all of
Shangri-La. Why in holy shit's name are we hanging out in a dump like
this? Let's go!"

Whipping out his gun, he uses it to point westward with a flourish, then
gives the trusty weapon a kiss and tucks it away.

Everybody is just standing there staring at him, without so much as twitching
a muscle, except in the case of Gojyo's dropped jaw. When Sanzo realizes that no
one is following him, he turns around, places a hand on his hip enticingly and
looks the three over again.

"Are you just going to stand there all day looking moronic, or are you going
to make yourselves useful and come along now?"

Hakkai stirs himself, and the others follow close behind.

"Right, Sanzo, here we go!"

Three sets of eyes are glued to Sanzo's back as his companions follow in his
wake. Each is caught up in his own thoughts and opinions concerning Sanzo's
unexpected display of odd behaviour.

In Hakkai's case, the human-turned-demon's thoughts take on a serious and
contemplative note. He had been hoping that Sanzo would be able to sort out
whatever it was that was bothering him during their stay here in the village,
but now... that seems not to be the case, and, faced with Sanzo's uncharacteristic
attitude now, Hakkai is left even more baffled than ever.

Meanwhile, Gojyo's perverted mind is taking a different train of thought. He
can't help but notice the way Sanzo is walking, as if all that pent up tension
has been abandoned, leaving nothing but the hidden slink he always knew had to
be there. Gojyo just can't help being interested, as he has been ever since he
first laid eyes on the breathtaking young priest. But Sanzo has proven to be
nearly unapproachable and one-hundred percent untouchable, like liquid nitrogen
or a volatile explosive. As a result, that forbidden aspect of Sanzo just makes
him all the more desirable. Gojyo is the first to admit, at times Sanzo can be
one fucked-up bastard, but he'll be damned if he isn't one undeniably sexy
fucked-up bastard.

For Goku, the whole situation is a mixed-up mess of confusion. He keeps
thinking about the secret Sanzo had entrusted with him, and he wants to tell
himself that Sanzo was just joking, except that Sanzo doesn't joke around like
that. He was being deadly serious. Goku knows this, and the implications
are scary. He has half a mind to go back to the fortuneteller and demand to know
just what she told Sanzo. But it's too late for that now. At least the journey
won't be ending anytime soon, so he has some time to try to sort things out. Meanwhile, he feels
guilty, too, because in a way Sanzo has just turned against Gojyo and Hakkai,
and expects Goku to follow along. Can he really not tell them what Sanzo
has planned?

XXX

The trip resumes quietly enough, but everyone is well-rested and glad to
leave the town behind, and it isn't long before Gojyo is up to his old tricks.
He starts teasing Goku until he earns a response, which he knows will most
likely also trigger a reaction from Sanzo, and the usual from Hakkai, and
bingo, they'll be back in business!

The monkey joke technique eventually works on Goku, but it seems to take
considerably more effort than usual to work Goku up to making something out of
it, as if he's seriously distracted. This makes Gojyo curious again as to just
what's going on in their little group. Sanzo, on the other hand, may as well be
deaf for all the interest he shows in their back-seat antics.

After several such episodes, Sanzo finally turns to Hakkai and makes a calm
command.

"Hakkai, stop the jeep, right now."

Hakkai complies, bringing Hakuryu to a standstill and shutting off the
engine. All eyes are glued to Sanzo expectantly, as he turns towards the
passengers in the back. Casually, with a clear no-nonsense expression stamped on
his face, he aims the muzzle of the banishing gun at Gojyo's head.

"Gojyo, apologize to Goku. I think he's put up with enough of your
bullshit."

No one speaks. A mild gust of breeze picks up and nips playfully at the
suddenly solemn foursome.

All at once, three demon mouths open to either question, comment or complain,
but before they can get a single word out, Sanzo holds up his hand, effectively
silencing them again.

"Hakkai, Goku, stay out of this. I want an apology from the cockroach, you
two needn't involve yourselves."

Gojyo's mind is reeling. What the heck is this?

"Hey, Sanzo, look, Goku and I were just... "

Sanzo increases pressure on the trigger.

"Don't bother telling me. I want you to look at Goku, and tell him
that you're sorry. I don't have the patience to wait all day."

Gojyo looks into Sanzo's eyes for a moment, incredulous, and then, leaving a
small sneer with the psychotic monk, he turns to Goku.

"Fine, Mr. High and Mighty, as you wish. Goku, I'm sorry for arguing with you
and laughing at you. Apology accepted?"

"Uh, yeah?"

Seemingly satisfied with this exchange, Sanzo turns back around in his seat,
making the gun do its disappearing act, and the trip resumes its course.

XXX

This odd event has served to effectively dampen the mood in the jeep, and
even Gojyo is quiet, now, not wanting a repeat performance of that.

Hakkai, glancing from the corner of his eye at Sanzo, notices a drop of blood
running down Sanzo's lip, and does a double take. He wordlessly offers the
priest a tissue, indicating his own nose as a hint. Sanzo just looks at him with
an expression of alarm, and then snatches the tissue and brings it to his face.
Glancing at him again, Hakkai notices for the first time that there seems to be
a dark stain under the arm of Sanzo's left glove. By the look of it, it appears
to be blood.

It isn't long before Sanzo calls another stop for a break. Exiting the jeep
and going off on his own, the first thing he does is light for himself some of
his special incense.

The others eye him from a distance, but do not approach. Hakkai takes Goku
aside.

"Goku, did something happen in the village to upset Sanzo? Or do you know why
he wanted to stop there in the first place? Has he said anything at all to you
about anything unusual?"

Goku looks at the ground, up at the sky, anywhere other than at Hakkai.
Although uneasy, reluctant, and unsure of what he should say, guilty concern
almost makes him want to spill everything. But then... he finds himself gazing
over at Sanzo where he sits, looking beautiful and a little disturbed, and
Goku feels a kind of defensiveness rising up to usurp the previous hesitation.
He faces Hakkai at last.

"No. There's nothin' weird, Sanzo's just in a bad mood, I guess. About the
village, there wasn't anything special there, either, just some fortune-teller
who gave him a free reading. You shouldn't be such a worry wort, Hakkai, you'll
get wrinkles."

Hakkai doesn't press him any further, letting Goku go off to have a snack. He
takes a seat on the grass next to Gojyo, and the two exchange a glance.

"Gojyo, have you ever seen Sanzo have a nosebleed before?"

"No, why?"

"Well, he was having one on the road, just before we stopped. He didn't seem
to take it very well. Another thing, he seems to be wounded. There's blood on
his sleeve. I wonder what could have happened that they aren't telling us about?
And why keep it from us?"

"Hakkai, what do you think's up with that stuff Sanzo's burning? It smells
like crap. Besides, he doesn't usually bother with stuff like incense. And, what the hell
was up with the whole apologize to Goku thing? It's enough to make me
wanna pulverize the bastard monk."

"It is strange. We'll have to wait and see what comes of it, and, hopefully
things will blow over."

Gojyo just snorts and turns his blood-red gaze away from the direction of the
man in question.

XXX

Night arrives, and the group stops to set up camp. Nothing else out of the
ordinary has happened, besides the uncommunicativeness shared between them, and
a lot of suspicious glances being cast about from one to the other.

When Sanzo goes off to the stream nearby, Gojyo contemplates for a while, and
then makes up his mind to take the risk of speaking with him. He stands and
follows in the other's footsteps down to the stream.

Sanzo is kneeling down by the water, having removed his gloves, and seems to
be in the process of washing them. Remembering Hakkai's earlier words, Gojyo
checks out Sanzo's arm for signs of injury as he approaches stealthily from
behind.

What he sees takes him by surprise.

"Shit, Sanzo. What happened to your arm?"

Sanzo turns, annoyed and startled at first, and then apparently settling into
boredom.

"This? I guess you could say I decorated it."

"You mean... you... you did that to yourself?"

"It's not your concern."

Gojyo shakes his head, feeling a little sick at the sight of the word carved
into Sanzo's skin, at the thought of Sanzo intentionally taking a knife
to his own flesh, and he finds he can't tear his eyes away from the morbid
sight. He can't quite even place the various feelings that tumble through him
now.

Concern? Anger? Revulsion? Something else?

"Man, Sanzo, why?"

"I said it's none of your concern."

"I wish it wasn't, but I'll be damned if... if I'll let a friend get away with
something like this without a good explanation."

"For Buddha's sake, Gojyo, do you have to go getting all melodramatic on me?
And who ever said anything about us being friends in the first place?"

Anger momentarily takes dominance.

"You are even more messed up than I though you were, you stuck-up bastard.
What's that little decoration supposed to mean, anyway?"

Sanzo regards him coolly for a moment, gauging the level of unchecked emotion
raging in the half-breed's eyes. Then he stands, facing the taller man.

"In what way does what I choose to do with my body concern you?"

"It concerns me when you choose to mutilate and hurt yourself."

"I didn't mind the pain."

"Then it's even worse than I thought. Sanzo..."

"Gojyo."

The way Sanzo says his name shuts Gojyo up. Why is Sanzo speaking so calmly,
so casually, about such a serious matter? Where is Sanzo's pissy attitude? Where
are the bullets? And what is with him cutting himself up like that and then
acting as if it were nothing?

Sanzo steps up to Gojyo, challenging him with his eyes, engaging him in a
silent face-off that Gojyo isn't even sure how to break. He is at a lose as to
what he can possibly say in order to get through to Sanzo.

Sanzo cocks his head to the side, his expression dangerously unreadable, and
proceeds to capture the front of Gojyo's shirt with one hand.

"I ask again. In what way does my body concern you?"

Sanzo's next move nearly kills Gojyo from shock.

He kisses him.

For a moment, Gojyo doesn't respond, so taken aback is he by this unexpected
action. Then, something inside reacts, and he starts to return the demanding
kiss that Sanzo has begun. In the next instant, he fully realizes what's
happening, and another reaction is triggered.

Gojyo roughly pulls Sanzo in closer, and bites down hard on his lip. Sanzo
responds with a growl of protest, and then promptly finds himself forced to the
ground as Gojyo grabs him by the hair and twists his arm behind his back. Sanzo
spits out a curse at his captor, struggling in his hold.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, huh, Sanzo? What is the
matter with you? You think you can just... just... that I'm just going to
forget about that nice little decoration on your arm? You need
some help, man. And if you won't accept it from us, then I don't know where
you're gonna find it, because there isn't anyone else on earth who can tolerate
your shit like we can, Sanzo. And sometimes, sometimes I wonder why we
bother at all."

He shoves Sanzo to the ground and walks back to camp, nearly shaking with
anger, not looking back to see the dark look in the stormy violet eyes that
follow his retreat.
- 5
- 6
- 7
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My Sun, My Supernova