Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these characters are pure fantasy!


Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)


This chapter is dedicated to MishaGirl for the wonderful encouragement she has given me to keep writing - I hope it is to your taste XD

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The ink bottles rattled together on Nami’s desk. They had been jumping around like that for at least an hour. She’d ignored it at first thinking that it was Luffy and Chopper being their usual enthusiastic selves. Now that it had gone on for this long she realised her mistake. Luffy didn’t have the attention span for this kind of sustained annoyance. That could only mean one thing.


Idiot trouble.


She put down her pen and scowled. How was she meant to map out all of the Grand Line with those testosterone-fuelled morons storming around permanently destroying the ship? If they were so powerful, why did she have to constantly mother them and keep them out of trouble?


It was all too annoying for words.


She shoved her chair away from her desk and marched outside into the chill breeze. Robin leaned against the railing, quietly digesting the rampaging set of limbs that rolled across the deck.


As predicted, Zoro and Sanji were at it again.


Nami stood there for a minute and tried not to tear her hair out. As her breathing slowed, in the back of her mind she realised that there was something different. Something… wrong.


She let her eyes scan the ship and did a mental checklist. Luffy was standing on the deck mouth open pointing at the fighting pair - check. Usopp and Chopper were hiding behind their Captain, eyes boggling - check. Robin was just leaning back with that Mona Lisa smile on her face - check and check. All normal. All accounted for.


What was it then? She checked the weather and made sure the Log Pose was pointing where it should be - all good. Wind direction unchanged… No signs of a storm…


So what was it?


She closed her eyes and let it all run through her head in no particular order. The thumping of boot on boot made it hard to concentrate, plus Luffy’s whoops of joy… Suddenly Nami realised. It wasn’t what was there, it was what was missing. There were no screams of abuse passing between the cook and the swordsman. Just the sound of blow after heavy blow.


The idiots were serious this time. They were finally going to kill each other. She knew that it had to happen some day. They were just both so damn full of themselves! She wondered for a minute if she should just let them do it. It would certainly be easier to concentrate… Eventually her sense of duty won through.


If anyone was going to beat those morons to death, it would be HER.


She raced down the stairs taking three at a time and collected both of them at the bottom. Their heads made a satisfactory cracking noise as they clanged together. Usopp and Chopper huddled further into Luffy’s knees.


“N-n-n-ami’s Sc-c-c-cary….” Chopper whispered.


Zoro and Sanji looked up from the deck into the rage-distorted features of the flame haired navigator.


“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?!” she blazed.


“Hello my avenging angel, did the noisy marimo disturb you?” Sanji cooed.


Zoro just lounged on the deck, head propped up with one arm, grinning. He knew better than to say anything but that stupid cook couldn’t help himself.


“IT WASN’T JUST HIM BAKA!” Nami raised one clenched and ink stained fist ready to drive it down into Sanji’s idiot head when she hesitated. They were both just sitting there grinning. They weren’t even trying to strangle each other. They were practically laughing. She got an uneasy feeling right in the pit of her stomach.


What the hell was going on?


She mumbled “Just shut up, ok?” and then hastily stumbled back up the stairs followed by an enthusiastic call of “Hai Nami-schwan!!!”


As she went she mentally prepared herself.


With the way things were going it was likely that the next day the sun would not rise, Chopper would take a compliment with grace, and Luffy would proclaim that he was becoming a vegetarian.


It was going to be a trying week.


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“Oi! An island! I can see land!” Usopp called out from the crow’s nest. It was about time too. After their hasty retreat from the last island, the cook hadn’t been able to restock. Now they had run out of red meat. Sanji had used the last making Zoro’s special lunch. He didn’t want to admit it to the crude swordsman but he had put his heart and soul into that damned food. Stupid marimo probably hadn’t even noticed. The consequences of his favouritism were clear to see though... Luffy was beginning to follow Chopper around with glazed eyes, drooling.


They needed meat. Fast.


Sanji rolled up his sleeves and took in the view. Nami was sitting in her deck chair barking orders in a skimpy blue bikini. A Summer Island. His favourite.


He couldn’t wait to get his feet back onto dry land. Life on the ocean was wonderful, but he was all about new food and flavours and practically all he had prepared for the last week was fish. Fish was great, but the smell of it was even in his hair and he was sick of it. Plus, being out in the open meant that he and Zoro would have room to really spar.


Yesterday was the first day that Zoro had been allowed to train and they had taken full advantage. Even though Zoro hadn’t really done very much leg work in his previous training, he was learning quickly. Sanji had to admire the swordsman; he really was a dedicated student.


Sanji wondered what he could get away with making Zoro do in the name of training. It was Zoro’s weak spot after all. He could probably get him to do practically anything... With Chopper watching his patient’s every move though, there hadn’t been any time for fun. Sanji knew that the excitement of a new island was just what they needed. Lots of room, lots of distractions for the others, and lots of hotels....


Sanji smirked. He could finally show that swordsman what he was really made of. In more ways than one. He wondered what Zoro was doing. He was meant to come to breakfast an hour ago but was nowhere to be seen. Reluctantly, Sanji drew his eyes away from the glorious heaving chest and went to find the idiot swordsman. He pondered as he strolled. Maybe he should be more affectionate considering he was Zoro’s first male lover... Poor man might get a complex. He grinned to himself as he considered Zoro’s version of affection. Ok then, the sexy idiot swordsman. Much better.


When Sanji strolled in to the men’s sleeping quarters Zoro was just getting dressed. Lazy bastard had just slept in. His eyes were still puffy from sleep and his hair was all flat. Sanji hovered at the door happily perving. Zoro always looked his best all ruffled and unkempt. Happy until he realised what Zoro was doing, that is. When he did, he was horrified.


“What exactly is that?” he asked, waving his foot in the general direction of the offending article.


“It’s a shirt”


“Uh-uh. It’s a travesty against fashion is what it is.”


Zoro looked unimpressed.


“You wear this stuff. Why can’t I?” he grumbled, staring accusingly at Sanji’s outfit.


The cook had expected him to just grunt or ignore him but Zoro had been quite receptive to his opinions lately. Sanji congratulated himself silently on his sexual prowess. Zoro was not tamed – he was too much of a cave man for that to be possible - but the bastard actually listened to him now.


Sometimes.


It was certainly better than it used to be – Zoro alleviating the boredom of ship life by thinking up new and interesting ways to give the cook the shits. He never would have admitted it of course, too busy slouching around being generally disinterested. The way to a man’s heart wasn’t just his stomach it seemed...


Sanji looked at the irate man scowling up at him. His dark simmering eyes, his broad proud brow, his strong defined jaw, his dark muscled body


… his neon blue flowery shirt.


It was just. So. Wrong.


“Wear this” he said, throwing a dark blue singlet at Zoro’s head. Sanji picked it because it showed the swordsman’s broad strong shoulders and was tight against his rippling muscle. It was the wrong colour for Zoro, any idiot could see that. Well, except the aforementioned... but it would do. Anything was better than flowers.


Zoro scowled and tore the obnoxiously bright shirt off before pulling the singlet over his head with a grunt ….backwards. Sanji grinned. Stuff it. He could stay like that.


“We’re about to dock. You want to do some training in the open today?” the blonde asked nonchalantly. Suddenly the swordsman was in front of him, his face only millimetres from the hot tip of Sanji’s smoke.


“Do I ever” he growled; his lips curling in a menacing smile of lust and danger.


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The sun streamed down on the meadow and butterflies hovered in the scattered wildflowers. Birds called and a soft breeze sighed through the surrounding forests, bringing with it the smell of moss and ferny glades. To the swordsman and the cook, it might as well have been midnight.


Sanji kicked his shoes off and cracked his toes in the grass. He looked over at Zoro with an expression halfway between indulgence and murder. Zoro had been thinking about how he’d approach this. Now that they had room to move - and no katanas - Sanji would have the advantage. Just because he wanted to be taught by the cook, didn’t mean he wanted to give the bastard the satisfaction of an easy fight.


He sized Sanji up with a practiced eye. It was more out of habit than anything else. He’d done it a thousand times when they’d sparred, tiffed, and outright fought over the time that they’d known each other. But now he had something he never had before. Now he had a secret weapon. He knew what Sanji liked.


He let his eyes roll up over the bare feet, long strong legs, and rolled up shirt sleeves of the cook. Zoro had taken his shirt off. It was hot and he was serious. Sanji hadn’t even put out his damn cigarette. I’m going to make sure you regret that.


Zoro spread his arms out and steadied himself, he had a little thing he had been meaning to try in a fist fight for a while. Now that they had all this room, well, perfect opportunity. He didn’t have to worry about the ship, he didn’t have to worry about Nami making his permanent hangover worse with her banshee impression, and he certainly didn’t have to worry about Sanji.


That was why he liked him.


He tensed his body slowly, storing the strength up in his shoulders and thighs. He felt the grass between his toes and focussed all the weight of his body down into the earth. He wanted maximum force behind this. He met the steely eyes of the cook as he took his stance. He was still smoking away and viewing Zoro’s preparations with a smug grin.


Soon wipe that off you.


Zoro pushed off the ground and launched himself cleanly into the air. He touched his left foot down and used his toes to push off, changing his angle of attack mid-stride. He focussed all his power, all his pent up aggression into a single blow. He whipped through the air, the force building as he turned into the hit. Ankles, then knees, hips, shoulders and fist - like a whip crack - last of all. Suddenly an elegant long leg was hurtling towards his head.


He tried to dodge but the sheer force of his forward momentum bought him slamming into the cook’s foot. Sanji swept his leg around in a steady arc collecting Zoro’s face neatly before the swordsman could jump back. He hit the dirt with a thud and rolled back up into his stance.


Sanji stretched out his shoulders and took a puff on his smoke.


“That’s one point to me, baka.”


Smug bastard. Well, I’m just getting warmed up.


All he had to do was get close enough and he’d be fine. Zoro took a couple of steps forward to close the distance between him and the blonde. He had watched him fight so many times; he should know which way he was going to turn by now. He ran full pelt at the cook again, this time watching his feet all the way. Sanji watched his approach too, and turned to stand side on. Good.


Zoro pushed off the ground and twisted in the air. This time he was prepared for the hit. He crossed his arms mid-leap and pushed his upper body off Sanji’s powerful side kick, letting the force take him up and over the cook. He landed behind the blonde, and wrapped him up in a powerful embrace. Got you now.


Unfortunately Sanji just kept on turning through the kick. First thing Zoro knew, he was looking Sanji directly in the eye. That eerie single clear blue eye. Second thing he knew, there was a knee in front of his chin. Then there was just a powerful crushing sensation as all the air left his lungs and he hit the dirt again, sending up a cloud of dust from the shock wave. The cook was taking him seriously. He could tell what sort of damage that kick would have done any normal person. Sanji smirked down at him.


“Two points”


The bastard was just too flexible. Not that Zoro minded; he had spent all morning while they were getting supplies considering the pleasant consequences of having a bed fellow that could be tied up like a pretzel… But none of that was helping his chances now.


Zoro felt a tickle and wiped his chin. There was blood on his hands. He must have split his lip again. He lapped it up with relish. It seemed that this was a good idea after all. He definitely needed more training. Sanji looked like he was enjoying himself too. The cook finally took his last puff and ground the cigarette out. Well that was something at least.


Maybe he could try bowling him over again... seemed to work in the galley. True, there hadn’t been much room there for him to get away, but surely all his kicking and flipping would be useless once the fight got to the ground. Ground fighting was something Zoro could do. Time to pull out that little something special.


He slowly rose off the grass, pausing to admire the dent he had made when he landed. He shook all the tension out of his muscles and then squared up against the blonde again. He was really starting to get in the mood for a good fight. Not to mention the heat that it would add to their planned night together. He indulged himself for just a second by rolling his eyes up the cook once more. Nice. Very nice.


Zoro pushed his toes deeper into the dirt. He thought about calling the attack but he didn’t want to make a fuss if it didn’t work. Sanji would laugh his arse off if he starting shouting about no sword style and then copped a mouthful of dirt.


Not that he cared what the shitty cook thought.


Well, maybe a tiny bit.


He sprung towards Sanji and tucked his shoulder down into a combat roll. Then he used the momentum of the roll to launch up off the ground with a powerful kick, taking him clean over Sanji’s defensive sweep. Sanji’s twisting body would give him only a second to make his move before the other half of the spinning kick sent him hurtling. He corkscrewed in the air and heard the words in his mind. Swordless Style, Hunters Pride! He formed his body into a single hard line of upwards rushing muscle as he hit Sanji hard in the middle of the chest with two flat palms - one hit.


The momentum meant that the rest of him was not far behind, he kicked off the blonde hard with both feet using Sanji’s spin to send him twisting above the cook’s head - two hits. He flipped his body powerfully above the surprised cook putting all his force and weight into his feet. This was the finale. He came crashing down with incredible force into the earth, sending a shock wave rumbling out into the forest. Sanji only just managed to hand spring out of the way at the last second. He still hit him a glancing blow, the cook flipped back onto his feet and touched his face gingerly. Luckily, it was all still there. Zoro noted the way Sanji moved to avoid the hit. If he hadn’t launched so high into the air, the cook would be toast.


“Two points for me.” He grinned sadistically. He didn’t want to hurt Sanji, but he loved to feel the incredible force of their two powerful bodies coming together. There was something about it that was pure and primal.


“You can’t count that as two - it was all part of the same combo!” Sanji’s eyebrow twitched with indignation.


Whatever.


Zoro stood patiently and waited for Sanji to finish checking his face for fractures. There weren’t any - Zoro had made sure of that. He liked Sanji’s face. He stood facing the cook once more. He waited.


Sanji stared at him expectantly and then grinned when he realised the swordsman wasn’t coming. Maybe the idiot was learning something after all. Without the katanas his reach was much greater than Zoro’s.


Sanji undid the second button of his shirt and then steeled his lithe body for a bit of acrobatics. Nothing like a trick or two to impress a student. He took a quick step and then flipped from feet to hands. He pushed off the ground and turned sideways in the air, into a cart wheel this time. Now he was pretty much nothing but fists and feet - turning fast towards the swordsman. Zoro stood firm and waited. He waited, and then waited just a split second longer.


He dropped his knees just as Sanji hit him, he felt his jaw snap down as the powerful kick left its mark on his still-healing body. But he got what he wanted. Sanji was nice and close. Zoro could smell the tobacco on his breath. In the split second after the hit he reached out and grabbed a handful of cook as he went flying past. Sanji jerked in the air and then their combined momentum sent them both barrelling off into the dirt in a confused mass of limbs. Sanji tried to push off and separate the two of them but Zoro kept a tight hold on him. They twisted in the air together, fighting for dominance even as they fell. Zoro managed to dig a foot into the dirt and pinned Sanji beneath him. He lifted up one fist and held it menacingly in front of the cook’s face. The blonde’s expression went from surprise to indignation.


“What do you think you’re doing?” he growled. Zoro grinned. Operation distract the cook was a complete success. He wiggled the fingers of his other hand against Sanji’s pants and lowered his decoy fist.


“Psychological warfare” the swordsman said, with obvious glee.


He rubbed gently and caressed, watching the lust chase the frustration across Sanji’s face. He had him pinned nice and firm but Sanji was still struggling against him. Rubbing and wriggling and generally mad as hell. If he had any idea how much worse he’s making it…


“Get off me! You can’t do this in a fight! How am I meant to..” Zoro’s heavy wet kiss silenced him. He made it a strong kiss, slow but forceful. A kiss full of testosterone and burning passion. Finally, the swordsman broke away, grinning at the flustered sexy heap of blonde beneath him.


“What was that? Didn’t hear you…” Zoro drawled.


“I said 'three points'” Sanji smirked up at him. Still smug even when he’s pinned to the ground and molested. He was so damn… sassy.


“So you want to keep going?” Sanji asked, stretching out and accepting his fate. He knew he could roll Zoro off him if he wanted. He could do it in an instant. Right now though, he was pretty sure he was right where he wanted to be. They hadn’t got much training done really but they still had a few days on the island. There’d be time later - when he didn’t have a hot heavy Zoro stroking him and grinding his ass into the cook’s hips.


“Don’t think I could,” Zoro twitched a smile down towards his bulging trousers “might get too excited and do something …terrible.” His fingers continued the minute ministrations.


Sanji struggled to imagine something terrible that Zoro could do to him that he wouldn’t enjoy. Still struggling, he flipped the startled swordsman onto his back. He nestled between Zoro’s legs and let his body apply lingering pressure to the straining bulge.


“Come on” he said, lifting himself up and out of the swordsman’s reach with a teasing swing of the hips. “Lets get back to the bar and meet the others; Luffy has to have gotten in some kind of trouble by now.” Zoro just lay on the grass feeling horny and frustrated. He opened his mouth to protest but Sanji cut him off.


“No. I am not fucking you on the grass in the middle of the country side in the middle of the day.” How had he known he was going to say that? He scowled up at the teasing personification of sex that was leaning over him.


“And don’t look at me like that. I’m not getting any more grass stains on this shirt” Sanji smiled and dusted the dirt from his bum right in front of Zoro’s face then started to walk back to the village. Zoro lay and sulked. Shitty teasing sexy-ass cook.


“I got us a room with a nice big bed…” Sanji called from the edge of the clearing. Within the space of a second, Zoro had overtaken him and was marching up the path in double time.


“Oi, marimo.” Zoro hesitated, still bouncing on the balls of his feet “not that way, baka.” Sanji sighed indulgently.


Impatient bastard.


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The walk back had been occupied by a lengthy debate about who had won their spar. It was inevitable really, but it had been drawn out ridiculously because of the bet. If Sanji won, then he got to be in charge tonight. If Zoro won, same deal - but that wouldn’t happen now would it? He’d made the bet with Zoro in an attempt to distract him during the fight. Slightly more subtle that Zoro’s version of psychology but not really much, in the end it had probably handicapped him just as badly. The sight of Zoro sweating, shirtless, and licking the blood from his rough lips… well, it had been quite distracting. He had also realised, too late, how excited he was about having Zoro at his mercy. He could finally really take that hard strong body to a new limit…


As they strolled past the last shop fronts before the only decent pub in the place, a familiar sound greeted them.


“Gomu Gomu no pistol!!!”


Zoro looked at Sanji, who looked back at Zoro. The sound of masonry hitting concrete as part of a building collapsed crystallised the single thought in both their minds.


If Luffy is doing anything that interrupts my night of steamy sex, I’m going to kill him.


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